Daddy'll buy you a mockingbird
by ThePsychoVamp
Summary: Full sum. inside. Ephraim Black is alive and he's obsessed with Edward. After raping and hurting him, who better than his great-grandson to save our vampire now human boy? Mpreg,Rape, Violence, Drama, Laughs and romance Edward/Jacob story
1. This is going to hurt a little

Mine – my instincts screamed. I caught the deer and easily held him down, while sinking my sharp teeth into his neck. Blood flowed into my mouth and I simply gulped. I didn't want to taste it. Deer was not exactly appealing to me. It was unnecessary the torture of being constantly thinking how disgusting this activity of mine was – hunting. I just needed it to keep my monster in control and I had no wishes to enjoy it.

There was a light smell in the air. A disgusting one – an awful wet dog smell. I guessed I was near the treaty line. There were no werewolves here, but I was sure they were at the beach, which was a little bit far way and that was the reason the smell was not so strong.

The scent turned heavier and heavier. I realized I didn't recognize it. Was there someone new to the pack?

That seemed to be the only explanation.

I didn't move though. Why would I? This was our territory. They had no rights here. Besides, I hadn't done anything wrong.

I could hear a loud heartbeat, but it wasn't strong enough to be a wolf's. Whoever they were, they had to be in human form.

A male. I could smell his arousal.

Well, that is new, I thought.

He was clearly hard because of me. I was the only thing his mind could focus on, as it kept shouting MINE.

Many men have been attracted to me before, but a werewolf? Could that even be? Was it even "legal"?

He was close, which was obvious. He was thinking about me as his prey.

I almost laughed out loud. This man could not know who I was, for sure. Me? A prey?

His thoughts became somewhat poetic. Interesting. I haven't ever seen myself that way. I've always seen my true self. What this man was seeing was a camouflage. Which one, I had no idea, though. My monster was completely free at the moment and that was what he was seeing. Funny thing was that he liked it. Scratch that: he loved it. People can be so stupid sometimes.

_So young, _his mind said, _A terribly sweet child. And so beautiful, so innocent, so graceful and selvage._

Little did he know I was probably old enough to be his grandfather.

_So naïve. He doesn't know what the close future holds for him._

Is this guy for real?

_I'm sorry, my Edward. But it is for the best. I'd like to promise you it won't hurt too much, but I'm not certain how much control my wolf has. I'm so very sorry, my sweet boy._

I tried to know what he was talking about, but he somehow could block me. He wasn't as young as I thought, certainly. He knew too much for that. No one should know enough to be capable to block my power. Just Alice could do that. And Bella, of course.

I had no idea how he knew my name, but the man was most likely to know me from somewhere.

I didn't have time to react, much less escape, as a too warm and big body made me fall flat on my back.I looked up and it was then that it finally started to kick in.

"Ephraim," I whispered, horrified.

How could it be? Did the pack know about this? Did The Elders? Did they know he was alive?

It had been many years ago since I had last seen him.

The scene played in my head like it was yesterday. The way he looked at me, the way his mind was centered in me. I hadn't paid attention at the time. It had been making me feel uncomfortable, unprotected, self-conscious. I remembered Carlisle noticing it and telling Ephraim (in his own polite way) to back off.

What was he doing here? Hadn't he forgotten me yet? Hadn't he gotten over his little crush? What the hell did he want from me?

Oh, yeah, that's right: me.

He pressed his body on top of me, arms at his sides, holding himself. His hard cock rubbed against my stomach and I cringed in disgust.

What was he up to?

I decided I didn't want to know and tried to push him off me, but found I was unable to.

"…the fuck?" I mumbled.

I never cursed in front of Bella, always being a gentleman, but behind her back, it was kind of another story.

I tried to escape another way, but realized I was trapped.

I attempted to push him off again, but to no avail. I tried with both my arms and legs, but he didn't even move.

How could it be? How could he be stronger than me?

Or maybe it was me who was weak. No. I wasn't weak, I didn't feel so, physically.

"What do you want?" I sneered.

"Isn't it obvious, Anthony?" he said, calmly, too calmly, while tracing the scar on my collarbone with his index finger.

I froze. No one had called me that since I returned from my lonely years of human blood sucking. Anth – _it_ was the name I gave the demon inside me. Not the monster. That one was called Edward and I'd decided I didn't care to keep it inside me. That was what I was and there was nothing I could do to change it. But I could be empty; I could simply not have a soul. But no – there had to be something more. After all, a creature made by the Devil couldn't be like those innocent leeches. I was worse than them. I was the worst of the worst. Carlisle had always said I was an angel – his angel. Had he known what was on my mind, had he known the demon I had in me, he would have swallowed what he had said.

So how did he know about that? No one called me that. No one.

He was pressing himself against me, watching me with intense lust in his eyes.

"Don't touch me," I said, trying to be threatening, but it came out shaky.

"Oh, my beautiful boy, do you think I'm scared of you?" his tone was gentle, but it made me stiff. It was too gentle.

"H-how… are…are you stronger than m-me?" I stammered.

"Of course I am. Did you expect me to be the submissive?"

My eyes widened.

"What…what you're t-talking ab-b-bout?"

He started kissing my face.

"St – stop!" I pleaded, while trying to shove him off.

Once again, it was useless. My fate was in his hands and I didn't believe it would be good.

I was starting to royally freak out.

One second my too expensive jeans were in the right place, untouched, the other second he was ripping them off.

If I would live long enough to be with Alice again, then I was in big trouble.

He did the same with my boxers and I started shaking, realizing what he was going to do.

Somehow my stomach managed to flip and I felt a sudden urge to throw up all the blood I had ingested a while ago, but I couldn't bring it up.

Deciding I couldn't scare him nor fight him, I took the other way: begging.

"Please…don't," I whispered as I hyperventilated, even if I didn't need to breathe.

Reality started to kick in. He wasn't going to stop. There was no way I could avoid this. He wasn't even listening to me. My attempts to thrust him weren't even bothering him. He was completely decided.

Ephraim Black was going to fucking rape me.

Loud tearless sobs escaped from my throat. For once I thought of me as a victim. I didn't even think of me as a monster anymore, I didn't even consider I had a demon inside me. It would have felt right, if it weren't for the circumstances.

He pulled my legs apart, squeezing my ass cheeks.

My mind screamed NO.

He brought my knees up his shoulders and I struggled to break free.

"This is going to hurt a little," he said quietly next to my ear.

Pure agony took my senses away as I arched my back and screamed and he thrust into me again. I gripped my shirt trying to concentrate on something else and tearing it.

"Please," I begged loudly and desperately, "Y-you're h-hurting me. Please, stop!" I cried.

But he didn't. He kept going, faster, harder.

"So tight," he mumbled. "So fucking tight."

"W-w-why are y-y-y-you do-doing this…to me?" I sobbed.

"Because you're mine, " he all but growled. Then a small smile appeared on his lips. "You know," he started, breathlessly. "The first time I saw you, I could not believe such a stunning creature could exist. You looked so beautiful in your own way, so haunted. I can't believe how much you've changed, at least outside. You don't seem to be the same little boy with lost golden eyes I met so many years ago. Oh, but I can see right through you. This adult strong façade you put on so no one can see how fragile you actually are…it does not fool me. There's just too much that time cannot erase."

Did he just quote Evanescence? God!

But he had hit a weak point. He had just put salt on a wound.

Because he was right. He was so fucking right.

He was fucking obsessed as well.

"That blonde bastard, your creator," he continued. "I'll always hate him. He's the cause of our unhappiness. If it wasn't for him we could have been together for a long, long time. But now you're here. And I can finally have you all for myself."

I was horrified.

"You're sick."

I felt a sharp pain on my cheek where he had just slapped me. It started dulling until it was just throbbing, like it was…bruising?

"You are not to speak to me like that, understood? You're the submissive and you'll respect me."

Realization started to kick in.

All of this…

Could it be?

I had read it on Sam's mind. Imprint. The strong love between him and Emily.

So how could it be? In that kind of relationship people had to love back. I certainly did not love this man. He repulsed me. How could he love me and hit me and force me into this at the same time? Could they even imprint on vampires? And males?

Bullshit. This was all just a bunch of bullshit.

He kept thrusting. Each time harder, as his pace quickened. Each time it hurt more and more until I was a sobbing and whimpering mess on the ground and he finally released his milky semen into me.

He lost conscience through his orgasm and I took the opportunity to escape, but he was too fast. The second I was on my feet, he grabbed my ankle and pulled me.

"Please, no more…no more."

He clawed my shirt, leaving me completely nude. He pinned me to the ground, as he sucked, licked and bit the skin on my torso.

Suddenly, he wrinkled his nose.

"Shit," he muttered.

He grabbed my face with his two hands and looked me in the eyes. I tried not to focus on his, but it seemed impossible to do so. His orbs were a dull brown, not chocolate brown like my Bella's. No, his eyes weren't kind and warm like hers. His were cold, unattractive, menacing, even though they held so much adoration in them.

Adoration for me.

I shivered at the thought.

"I'll come back for you, love. I'll come back for you. I promise."

Instantly leaning down, he kissed me on my mouth. I tried to turn my face away, but his hands were still on it. He gripped me tight, signaling for me to open my mouth and give him access. The way he did it hurt…a lot, so I indulged him. His tongue explored my cavern but I stayed still, waiting for him to finish. He finally pulled away and gave me a quick peck on the forehead.

Then he was gone and I released the breaths that I was holding.

It was over. It was finally over.

I didn't care why he left or that he promised he'd come back, which probably meant doing this to me again.

I was safe, for now, at least. I would just go home, lock myself up in my room, I wouldn't even care to get feed.

But that man wasn't going to put his filthy hands on me again. No matter what I would do, no matter what hard decisions I had to take. He wouldn't touch me again.

And no one would know about this. No one needed to, right?

Right?

And I would forget all of this. I would just erase from my mind. Perhaps Carlisle had some kind of medicine to make the memories fly away.

And then reality came crashing down. It hurt like a bitch. I hurt like a bitch, physically and emotionally.

It all started to sink in:

I had just been fucking raped by my mortal enemy, who happened to be my girlfriend's best friend's great-grandfather.

He had just taken my virginity. My dreams were all thrown away. I'd always thought about my first time as a romantic scene, between me and a girl who I loved and who loved me back. It was something special to me. It was something I wanted to do the right way and now that was impossible.

I felt ashamed, terribly so. I felt dirty. Bella did not deserve me, not after this.

If my family found out, what would they think? I wouldn't blame them if they judged me. They had all the rights to do so.

I felt vulnerable, weak, pathetic. How could I protect the love of my life when I couldn't even protect myself?

Somewhere in the back of my mind, something was shouting, panicked, that he would come back, that I would have to go through this humiliation again.

No matter what happened, no matter what I tried to think or what people said, nothing would be the same ever again. I was marked. He'd left his mark on me. Forever. I had his semen inside me. No words could describe how much I hated and felt disgusted of myself at that moment.

Pain, hatred, shame, guilt, disappointment, weakness, fear. The last one was the strongest. I couldn't even begin to say how frightened I was.

As if it wasn't enough I still had to endure through the physical agony my body was going through. It felt bruised. And I didn't even wanted to talk about my…God, it felt like I had been stabbed repeatedly there.

That throbbing ache and stiffness was strange and, as I looked down to my body, my suspicions were correct: I had ugly big shapeless purple bruises all over my torso, but principally on my arms, thighs and legs.

This was fucked up and I had no idea what to do.

For once in so many years I panicked. I was afraid for myself.

I leaned against a tree, hugging my knees to my chest and resting my forehead on them. And I sobbed…and sobbed more…and a little more, but it couldn't have been for more than a few minutes.

A too familiar god-awful dog smell reached my nostrils and I started hyperventilating.

I thought about running, but I was somehow frozen on the spot.

When he'd said he would come back, I didn't expect it to be so early.

But I didn't expect to be bitten and become a vampire neither, I didn't expect to fall in love with a human, I didn't expect to be fucking raped. Bad luck was a bitch.

The smell was turning stronger and stronger.

_Please, no more, no more._

JPOV

_Hey, Sam, do you smell this?_Paul said.

_Leech._I concluded. However, I knew this scent too well. Bella's leech. Shit, I was really feeling like ripping some vampire's head off.

Damn it, I was really feeling like ripping Bella's vampire's head off.

But that would just destroy her.

Besides – it's a just a lot of fun to provoke him.

_There's one of us, too._Jared informed.

_It's none of the pack though._ Quil interjected.

_We have to help him anyways._Leah said.

_What is that damn bloodsucker doing next to the border?_I wondered.

_It doesn't matter. Let's go._Sam ordered.

We started running towards the smell, when I remembered something.

_Wait, Sam! We can't go there in wolf form!_

_Shit._He cursed_. I forgot. Right. Everybody transform back._

We quickly transformed back into humans. Each one getting their shorts dressed.

We started running again, leaving the treaty line behind and continuing our way on the Cullen's land.

"Uh…Sam, the werewolf's scent is sort of starting to fade, y'know," Quil said.

"Yeah, I noticed that. It seems like he ran or something. Probably East. Cullen's still here though."

A loud sob distracted us all from our conversation. It was heartbreaking. Whoever he was (yeah, it was a he) couldn't be too old: the sound he made was almost child-like and scared. There was definitely someone needing our help.

Sam nodded and at that, we started walking towards the direction where the sound came from. The boy kept crying. He was breathing heavily. Shit, he was hyperventilating!

God, what could have happened? Did it have something to do with this unknown werewolf?

The sound was louder now. We were close.

I gasped at what I saw.

There, leaning against a tree was a slim white, yet tall, figure, hugging his knees to his chest, violently shaking and making sobbing and whimpering noises. I didn't fail to notice he was completely naked. I would recognize that mess people called hair every – fucking – where. That one, the one I felt sorry for and free-spirited decided to help was none other than Edward fucking Cullen. Just my luck.

As soon as I took a step, his head shot up. His eyes were red and puffy from crying (what the hell? I was damn sure vampires couldn't produce tears). They widened in fear and he pressed himself against the tree, as he started shaking so hard I was afraid he would explode. He shook his head, as if refusing to do something.

"No," he whimpered. "No more, please, please!"

What the fuck was he talking about?

I approached him, ignoring the way he shook.

I kneeled beside him. I looked around and noticed that my mates were all there, masks of shock covered their faces.

"Dude…" I started, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"No!" he screamed, flinching. "Don't touch me! Leave me alone," he cried. "Just leave me the fuck alone! What do you want anyway, huh?" it was strange to see how we could see that he was in pain and fearful but angry at the same time. "What can you take more away from me? As if I had anything left," he whispered the last part. "Not even my dignity," he covered his face with his hands and started sobbing again.

But I wasn't letting go. I needed to know what had happened.

"Hey," I put my hand on his shoulder again.

"Please, don't hurt me" he cried.

Suddenly I heard a gasp and turned to see Leah covering her mouth with her hands, eyes widened in shock and horror.

"Oh, God," Paul said, his voice strained. "I think I'm going to be sick."

"Shit," Sam swore. "Shit, shit, shit!"

Quil was standing in the same way Leah was and I had no idea where Jared was. Well, at least until I heard the sound of someone throwing up.

What the hell was happening? Did they know something I didn't? I looked at Edward (I had no idea why, but I just decided to start calling him by his name) and I finally saw the ugly bruises that covered most of his body. Two new things about vampires that I learned today: they can cry and holy shit they can bruise. Then what I saw made me feel sick to my stomach. Beneath him was a small pool of blood, coming from…shit! SHIT!

Who the hell could have done this to him? And how the fuck were they stronger than him? Which cruel creature could have done this?

I didn't care that I'd hated him for so long. No one should endure that cruelty. No one.

"Oh, god, man, I'm so sorry…"

"Yeah, that's what he said," he interrupted me, his voice cold.

"Edward, who? Who said that? Who did this to you?" I said, gently.

I noticed now: shape-shifter smell on him.

The same one we smelled was the one who fucking raped him. The fucker!

Edward just looked away.

"Come on, man," I tried. "You have to get out of here. Come on, let's take you home."

Much to my surprise, he got up, only to wince and fall flat on the ground.

"I think he twisted my ankle," he said quietly and emotionlessly.

Oh, they could twist parts of their body as well.

Without even thinking, I picked him up, carrying him bridal style. He didn't even seem to bother.

I considered bringing his clothes, but when I looked at them I realized it wasn't worth it.

Edward didn't say anything the whole way his house. That wasn't a good sign. I wasn't stupid. I knew that when someone stopped showing their pain to the world it meant they had given up, because they were just mentally, emotionally and perhaps even physically drained. It meant they were completely exhausted so they had to succumb to the numbness, to the darkness. It was a safe place, no doubt that, but it was miserable. And I was afraid Edward was starting to shut out. What would be of Bella?

Shit! What would be of him?

For the first time in my life I was worried about someone I thought I hated. Yes, I thought I did, but it was just jealousy speaking even louder than shouts in the silent night. For once, I even thought we could be civilized to each other, if he would let me. No offense to him, but he sometimes could be really annoying. I realized now that maybe if he wasn't Bella's boyfriend in the first place I would actually like him. Yes, he was my mortal enemy, but it's not like he wanted to. Now Bella's words played in my head: "It's not like he signed up to be a vampire. He knew just as much as you did." I didn't know his story, but something told me she was wrong in one thing: he didn't know as much as I did; he knew much less, he knew absolutely nothing. What could I blame him for? Existing?

Edward's head was on my shoulder and only now I noticed how soft his hair was, it felt like velvet on my skin.

He closed his eyes slowly from five seconds to five seconds, like he was…tired? It was a heartbreaking scene, even though it was very simple and it would look adorable if it wasn't for the circumstances. The way he did it, just meant what I had thought earlier: he was drained and he was shutting out. And when he opened his eyes (not much, may I add) they seemed lifeless.

I wondered if he was different from other of his kind or something, because he didn't feel like fucking marble, he wasn't hard as that; he seemed more like…wood. But I'd touched him before, he was hard as stone. Shit! Did what happened to him cause changes in his body as well? Fucked up. This was really fucked up.

"Edward?" I called. "Hey, Cullen?" he had closed his eyes completely and his chest raised and fell repeatedly. It looked like he was sleeping. I kept calling his name and he sometimes stirred. I had my confirmation: he was definitely sleeping.

I noticed his skin wasn't so white either. It was pale, but not a vampire pale, it was a human pale, like…Bella's and he had a little flush to his cheeks.

When we finally reached his home, he had woken up.

"No one's home," he said quietly. "Dad is working, Jasper and Emmett went to visit some friends in Alaska and my sisters and Momma went shopping."

"Sam," I called. "Would you please open the door? My hands are kind of busy right now," I gave a small chuckle and Edward gave me a weak smile in return.

Well, by opening the door I didn't exactly meant civilly, because, for the ones who forgot, the fucking house keys were with his clothes, which weren't here.

"Momma won't be happy," Cullen commented.

I smiled slightly at the way he treated the Cullen woman. She'd always seemed to be a nice person. It was amazing how much love she could carry in her eyes and only now I realized the love this guy had for her. The Cullen's weren't what I thought they were: they weren't a coven, they were a family.

"Momma will understand," I responded.

Sam managed to not damage the door too much and I entered the house. I couldn't help but look around. This place not only was huge, but also seemed perfect, welcoming.

"It's upstairs, the first on the right," Edward informed, referring to the location of his bedroom.

I opened his room's door and stepped inside making my way to his bed where I placed him. However, he got up, grimacing as he did so and limped to his wardrobe, from where he took some boxers, a white T-shirt, a pair of grey cotton pants and white socks. Then, he put the T-shirt back into place and took a red sweatshirt.

"I'll just…" he pointed to the bathroom. "…clean…myself" he finished lowly.

"Don't worry, man. I'll wait right here."

"You don't need to do this."

"I'd like to be here for a little longer…if you don't mind, that is."

He took a deep breath.

"Sure, but…I'll take a while…"

"Take as long as you need, I'll be here."

He nodded and headed for the bathroom. As soon as I heard the sound of the water coming from the shower I started looking around.

His room was big, as was his bed, which looked really comfortable. Since he didn't need to sleep (well, before, at least), I induced it was for Bella or for other things I absolutely didn't want to think about.

It was painted in golden colors. On the opposite side of the bed, there was a huge shelf with the most complete music collection I'd seen in my entire life. Casting a good look at it, I discovered the guy had good taste: Debussy, Queen, Kings of Leon, Florence and the Machine, Ludovico Einaudi, Yiruma, etc. He had lots of unknown artists' albums as well.

He also had books of all the types, but most of them were about crime or mystery.

The right wall was basically covered in glass and I almost gasped at the view. It was beautiful. It was twilight now and the sky was painted in purple, orange, blue and pink and the leaves of the trees were enlightened by the sun as the rest of the forest was covered in darkness. Stunning.

After what seemed like an eternity (wow, he wasn't kidding when he said he'd take a while, but I guess it's normal and he needs time and space), Edward got out of the bathroom.

His hair was wet; the water had made it look dark brown with mahogany reflexes. He was fully dressed now. The warm and soft fabric of his clothes made he look somehow more vulnerable, like he felt cold and needed something warm, specially his thick sweatshirt that made him look so much younger, or better: it made him look his real age. He always wore old-fashioned clothes, I always thought they looked ridiculous on him, because they gave him a heavy look, made him appear much older. But what he was dressed in now just showed his seventeen-self. His face was puffy from crying as well as his emerald green orbs, which were looking slightly red from the production of tears.

Wait, wait, wait, wait...emerald fucking green?

I started making my way towards him, expecting to get a closer look, when he immediately took three steps back, scared shitless.

"Oh my God," I covered my mouth with my right hand. "Oh my God, I'm sorry, I didn't…I didn't…Look, I'm not going to hurt you, ok? Just trust me. I just…your eyes are…"

"I know," he cut me off. "They're my human color."

Does this shit means he's turning human? God, it even made sense!

Suddenly, we heard a phone ringing.

Edward checked the ID, silently telling me to not make any noise.

He picked it up and held it by his ear.

"Hello," he said. "Hi, momma…um…I lost it," he sighed and rolled his eyes. "I mean I lost my cell phone while I was hunting…Yes…Yeah, I'm fine, mom…Yes, I'm sure…um-um…yeah," he hummed. "Ok, don't worry…Yeah, I'll be fine…Love you, too…Bye."

He put the phone back in place and sighed.

"Momma, Alice and Rose are going hunting tonight. They won't be back until tomorrow morning. Dr. Snow called in sick, he and Dad changed shifts so he'll be working all night. Emmett and Jasper decided to stay for a few days at the Denali's. It seems like I'll be on my own tonight."

"Aren't you going to Bella's?"

Yeah, I know that was sort of a stupid question, but whatever.

"No, Charlie took some days out of work. He and Bella are in Seattle. They'll only be back by Monday."

"Do you…do you mind if I stay here with you?"

"Um…sure."

He sat on the bed, leaning against the headboard, his legs Indian-style.

He picked up the TV remote and turned it on.

The first thing that appeared on the screen was CNN. Some guys had stolen a house and killed-

Edward sighed and changed the channel.

The next thing was some crap series about 18th century romance.

He made a face and changed it again.

Family Guy appeared on the screen.

This went on until he finally tuned the TV off.

He stared at it though. His eyes were empty.

"I'm a horrible company," I blurted out.

He shook his head no.

"Can…can I sit?" I asked, gesturing to the bed.

He nodded, without taking his sight from the black screen. I sat, the same way he was. The tension in the room was so thick; you could cut it with a knife. I looked up, hoping to count the holes in the ceiling, but there weren't any. It was just plain white, flawless.

A sniff and a quiet sob echoed in the room.

I turned my gaze to Edward, who was locking eyes with the hands on his lap, tears streaming down his face as he shook slightly.

He sniffed again and looked at me.

I couldn't begin to describe how marvelous his eyes were. I'd never seen anything like it. His pupils were a little dilated, making them look like a cat's. This time I couldn't help but think it was adorable.

"I-I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice broken, his lip trembling.

"It's ok. Just let it all come out. It's not good to keep it all inside."

He shook his head.

"I just…want to forget it. Just…could you please distract me?"

"Um…sure," I answered, unsure of what to say. "So…what's your favorite color?"

Fuck, idiot! His favorite color? Like…seriously?

He made a strange face and shrugged. Shit, I hadn't really helped at all.

"There's some food in the fridge, downstairs," he offered. "If you're hungry…you're free to go."

Truth was I was starving. I didn't know how to refuse.

"Will you be ok?"

He nodded.

The kitchen wasn't hard to find. You'd think so in a huge place like this, but it was unmistakable.

It was modern and looked like the ones we see on the cover of the best decoration companies' magazines.

I went straight to the fridge and opened it. And holy shit if they hadn't gone buy an entire supermarket. It was so full. Why did they have this all anyway? They don't even eat! Oh, right, Bella. But she doesn't eat all of this, for God sake.

I picked some ham and cheese, along with two loafs of bread and made a sandwich. I drank a glass of coke and put in the counter.

I headed upstairs to Edward's bedroom.

I knocked at the door. I was well-educated. Besides, he could freak out if I just walked in like that.

"Edward?" I knocked again. "Edward, can I come in?"

He didn't answer.

I didn't hear even a sound. Deciding to see if he was alright, I opened the door slowly and stepped in.

Edward was curled up on his bed, his eyes closed.

The position didn't really look comfortable and he was shivering slightly, so I grabbed a pillow and slowly lifted his head, putting it under it. I pulled the covers under him, so I could cover him with them. I took a step to leave, but a weak white slim hand stopped me. I noted it was warm. There was no doubt now: he was turning human.

"Don't go," he muttered, sleepily. "You can lay here."

"Edward…"

"Please," a crystal tear rolled down his cheek. "Stay."

How could I say no?

"Hush, don't cry. I'm not going anywhere"

After we were both under the covers I turned to him.

He was beautiful. His lips made an adorable little pout and his dark long thick eyelashes reached his cheeks. Some bronze locks fell on his forehead.

I've been having these thoughts about him for a while now but I hadn't freaked out yet, as I so expected. Truth was: I was starting to feel attached to him. I'd always been sure I wasn't gay. Now, that song from Paramore filled my mind. "…you are the only exception…". I was sure this wasn't an imprint. An imprint was much stronger, but this sure was something special. I didn't feel so in love with Bella anymore. She was just what she was, my best friend. And the fact that I'd hated him for so long…God, it sure was just because of her. I don't know how I haven't noticed this before. Had I hated him because of that? …because I felt something this good for him? I didn't know what to do, I didn't know what to think, but for know I was certain of one thing: I wasn't letting go.

At this, I wrapped my arms around him protectively and he leaned into me almost automatically.

"Jacob," he murmured, as my eyelids became heavy. "Thank you,"he breathed.

I closed my eyes and smiled.

"Sure"

And we both fell asleep.


	2. I'm a coward but you're a hypocrite

JPOV

"No," the voice moaned. "Please, stop. Argh!" it screamed.

I opened my eyes immediately to find Edward trashing on the bed. I shook him, trying to wake him up. He swatted my hand. I didn't feel anything at first, but I knew I would soon. He had probably broken my fingers.

But nothing happened. My hand was intact.

Edward screamed again, his cheeks covered in salty tears.

"Come on," I shook him again. "Hush, man, wake up!"

He struggled and, without any kind of warning, his knee connected with my balls.

"Ow!" I said loudly.

At this, his eyes shot open, confused at first, but then he looked at me terrified.

"I-I'm…Are you ok?"

"God, no," I moaned, rubbing my "stuff".

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"

"I know you didn't," I snapped. "You never do, do you?," I muttered looking down.

He didn't respond and when I looked up, I saw his eyes were glistening with unshed tears and his bottom lip was trembling.

"What? Are you going to cry now? Huh?"

He shut his eyes and shook his head no, fiercely.

"Then, what? You can't bear to hear the truth, do you? It's always been so difficult for you, hasn't it? Is this the way you tell people to shut up? By making them pity you?"

He looked at me, shocked and opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. He closed it and turned away from me.

"And then," I kept on. "There's also other great thing about you. You do have the tendency to run away when things get hard, don't you? You know what? You're a fucking coward."

I heard a sniff and faster than I expected he had run into the bathroom, locking the door. But I wasn't finished yet. I walked to the door and laughed.

"Do you see what I'm talking about? You just ran away. Do you ever grow up? How old are you exactly? Probably old enough to be at least my father, aren't you? You should have more maturity. You don't even know the consequences of the choices you make. You're a selfish bastard, that's what I mean. You simply hide and let the others clean your mess! Do you even know how hard it was to put Bella back together? You destroyed her! You don't deserve her! You don't even know how to protect her. You…"

"Then why do you even fucking care?" he screamed, his voice strained. "If that's what you think why didn't you just leave me in the woods, huh?"

"Because…" I didn't have arguments.

"Do you know how many fucking times you've rubbed that shit in my damn face? How many times have I accepted it all? Do you know the torture I've been through because of my guilt?"

The door shot open and he got out, and turned to me.

"You don't know anything, ok?" he screamed/cried. "If you want to be useful say something I don't know yet! How can you even call me selfish? I gave up my own happiness for her to be able to have a fucking normal life! Do you think I wanted this? If I could give it all to her: happiness, a human life with me,…don't fucking doubt I would, but I can't! Not everybody is as lucky as you!"

I laughed out loud.

"Lucky? You think I'm fucking lucky? I transform into a wolf when I get a bit angry, for God sake! You don't even know what the hell you're saying!"

"You should consider yourself a fortunate person, you idiot! You're spoiled!"

I was getting pissed off.

"So, what? You're going to hit me now?," he challenged. "Like _he_did? You're all the same, y'know. In the end, you're all the same! What you did yesterday…was it a mistake? Or did you do it so you could go and tell Bella so she would think you're the hero? What is it about you that is so great, Jacob? You're not perfect! No one is! You call me selfish when _you_ forced _my_ girlfriend to kiss you and pressed her to make the decision to stay with you not caring a bit about what _she_ wanted. Yes, it's my fault! Are you happy now? _Everything_ is my fault! Is it my fault Carlisle bit me, too? Is it my fault I was…" he couldn't finish. "Call me coward, but you, Jacob, you…" he pointed his finger at my chest. "…are a hypocrite."

When he finished, the waterworks had already started working and he was breathing heavily.

He moved to his bedroom door and opened it.

"Get out," he sneered.

"Edward, I…"

"Out!"

I walked to where he was, but didn't move to leave.

"Just listen to me, ok? I…Look, I'm sorry. Yesterday…it wasn't for Bella. And it wasn't a mistake either. I did it because it wouldn't be right to leave you there. I did it for you, too. Can we…can we just forget about all of this? I know all the things we said were true, but… we already know that. We figured it out by ourselves, so let's just forget it."

He looked away.

"A bit of peace," he whispered. "That's all I ask for. The last few hours have been awful. Just…I'm…" he started sobbing.

"Hey," I called him. When he kept looking down I embraced him. He stiffed at first, but then relaxed and he put his arms around my waist. His head rested on my chest, shaking.

"Hush, come on, it's okay," I tried to comfort him and he gripped me tighter. "It'll be okay," I caressed his reddish hair.

Stupid, stupid, stupid! That's what you are, Jacob Black! The boy has just been…God, even thinking about it made me want to throw up. He was fragile now and I just lashed at him! I'm a fucking idiot!

This was so confusing. Yesterday I thought about him as beautiful, I comforted him, I felt attached to him. Don't get me wrong, I still do, but I'm sometimes fascinated by the way I lose control over my damn mouth. One thing is saying the truth; another one is meaning it or wanting to say it.

In the middle of our scene, I raised my head and looked at the digitals in the alarm clock. Four in the fucking morning. This guy's life sure was busy: being raped in the afternoon, having nightmares at night and fighting at 4 o'clock. What will be in the morning?

Edward reduced his violent shakes to slight trembles and I took the moment to carry him to his bed, where I laid him.

He stared up at me, his eyelids dropping and I laid next to him. I hugged him to my chest again and whispered in his ear:

"I'm sorry."

Instead of giving me a hateful response like he did in the woods and as I expected him to, he answered me in a soft murmur:

"It's okay. I'm sorry, too."

_Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump._

What's with the noise? God, shut that up!

_Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump._

I opened my eyes and, as I became aware of my surroundings, I realized what the sound was – a heartbeat.

During the night, he and I had somehow exchanged positions, leaving him hugging me to his chest, instead of the contrary.

I couldn't believe how much things had changed in the last hours. Firstly, my relationship with Edward wasn't based on hate anymore, this was special, something I haven't ever felt with anyone and I didn't know what I felt for Bella now. I realized just now that I didn't know a thing about him, that he wasn't what I thought. I didn't know what I felt, exactly, for him, but I did know it seemed right, I felt complete. And fuck all the rest. Fuck Bella. I knew it wasn't her fault, but since she had entered our lives, everything just fucking slipped. Our minds got so focused on her we didn't see anything else. Like…like this, whatever this was. I wish we hadn't met Bella, I wish she hadn't come to live here. I wished I had known this sooner. I was completely aware that if I wanted anything with him and actually had it, it would destroy her, but…I just didn't care. The last months I had been trying so hard to put her back together, I forgot about my own happiness and, in the end, she just broke my heart. It was time for me to live. As well as it was for Edward.

Secondly, I couldn't begin to describe how big my grin must have been in that moment, because…the boy at my side not only had a beating heart, but he also had warm soft skin. Not to talk about his gorgeous green eyes that seemed to pierce into anyone's soul. No matter what people would say from now on, nothing could change what I thought of his new appearance. His amber eyes always had that warm feeling to them and the contrast between the black ones and his snowy skin fitted him perfectly. But this wasn't perfect. This was unique and, for me, the new color of his eyes made them the most beautiful I'd ever seen. He looked like one of those fairytales characters. Although they were so rare, they just looked right on him. They were the kind of orbs you'd want to stare at forever. He could be sad, angry, depressed, they would always look alive. The way they changed into liquid emerald made you melt and you felt like swimming in them. Then when his pupils dilated making him look like a cat…so fucking adorable. They sometimes looked glassy, like he had no pupils at all; those just made you shiver in pleasure of looking at them. They usually had yellow, orange and brown reflexes though. Those ones were my favorites; they just reminded me so much of the forest. Then there were his lips. Pouty and magenta. His bottom lip was slightly fuller than the upper one, asking to be kissed. I couldn't find words to say how much I wanted to touch them with my own. His features were slightly rounder, making him look much younger. Before, he looked he was at least twenty years old. Now, he didn't appear to be more than sixteen. Under his eyes, slightly covering his nose and cheeks, there were these dots, adorable orange small freckles. He looked so much like a kid. He reminded me so much of the natural world. He reminded me of seasons. His hair, messy and colorful resembled the autumn. I've always loved to pick the red and brown leaves the big trees let fall. His eyes obviously represented the spring, as well as his lips. His milky white skin was like snow in the winter, except for the temperature that reminded me of the contrary: the summer. He wasn't just one definite thing, he was like a mix of things and that was one of the reasons he was so amazing.

His stir took me from my thoughts. His eyes fluttered open and he shut them a few times to take away the sleep. He looked down at me, a little surprised, but then recovered and rested his head on the pillow again.

"I still don't understand this," he whispered.

"What?"

"All these…changes," he shrugged.

I smiled, knowing what he was talking about.

"Does this…mean that I'm human now?" he asked.

"Yeah, I guess so."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw the side of his lip curling up a bit, but then it disappeared, leaving a frown on his face instead. Before I knew it, the tears had started falling.

I immediately changed our positions, leaving them the way they were when we fell asleep.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I questioned, in a gentle voice, cringing after realizing what a stupid thing to ask it was.

He shook his head against my chest.

"I can't," sob. "…even celebrate it…"sob. "…right."

"Hey, shh…" I rubbed the back of his head. "It doesn't matter. You'll get through this. In time, you'll get over it and then you can have a normal life…with Bella," the last part was difficult to say.

"I don't…" sob. "…know if I can…"sob. "…be with her…" sob. "…anymore."

My heart smiled. But then I thought about Bella and decided it wouldn't be fair.

"Why not?"

"She's…she's been p-p-pressuring me-e to h-have…s," he couldn't finish as the sobs took control over his body.

That little slut! Is that what she wants from him? No, it couldn't be just that. She loved him.

"I'm sure that if you explain it to her…"

"I'm not explaining this to anyone!" he cut me off, raising his head to look at me, obviously angry. I stared at him, dumbfounded, ready to object. "And neither are you" he completed, not giving me the chance to talk.

The only word that got out of my mouth was, "W-why?"

Instead of answering, Edward quickly got up and started pacing the room back and forth. He opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it and shoved me off. He started walking toward the door to exit and I followed.

"Edward, please…"

"Don't," he said, his voice cold.

I kept following him as he went downstairs, tripping once. Oh God, another clumsy one? Well, at least, he got right back on his feet, Bella would have waited for the fall. I swear I sometimes thought she even did it on purpose.

Edward got into the kitchen and stopped. He turned around.

"I don't know how to cook," he blurted out.

I gave a small chuckle and he gave me an annoyed look in return.

"Ok, ok," I stopped laughing. "I'll prepare you something not too complicated. What do you feel like eating?"

"Um…I don't know. What do you usually eat for breakfast?"

"Cereal…"

"Yeah, that. I think we've got some."

"Where?"

He walked to one large cupboard and opened it.

"Is chocolate cool?"

"Yes, it tastes…"

I didn't finish as a cereal box flied in my direction but I caught it on time. He raised his eyebrows at me and I smirked.

"Cocky much?"

"Not today," I replied.

He sat on the counter and I noticed his legs didn't reach the floor. At this, I smirked.

"Are you going to make me a bowl of cereal or what?"

"Can I make one for myself?"

He rolled his eyes.

"Sure. Whatever."

I took the milk out of the fridge.

"How do you want it?"

"What do you mean?" he frowned in confusion.

"Y'know, hot or cold…"

"I don't know. Cold?"

Still with his warm sweatshirt, I noticed he was shivering slightly and the tip of his nose was turning light red.

"Wrong answer, Rudolph. You're having hot milk. Where are the bowls?"

He was confused at first, but then recovered and told me they were on the left of the fridge. I took two of them and filled them with chocolate cereal.

I put one plastic cup in the microwave for Edward and soaked the inside of my bowl with cold milk.

Cullen grabbed two spoons from a drawer next to him and threw it at me. I caught it easily and put my breakfast on the table. When his milk was ready I poured it in his bowl and placed it in front of mine. Edward sat in front of me, eating silently, tasting his food.

"So," he started, when I thought the silence was becoming awkward. "What's your favorite color?"

I almost choked on my cereal. I coughed a bit, swallowed it and cleared my throat.

"You're serious?" I asked.

He shrugged and looked down, while gobbling his breakfast.

"Just trying to make a conversation," he muttered, his mouth still full. I had to teach him some manners, it seemed.

"Orange," I replied to his interrogation.

He hummed.

"Why?" he stared at me.

"Well, I think it's because it's how the sky looks in the evening. And it sort of transmits energy and it also represents the summer, I think."

"Mm."

"What's yours?"

He was quiet, a few seconds, thinking.

"I think it's…white," he concluded at last and I had to admit I was surprised.

"Why?"

"It means peace. It's not difficult to stare at; doesn't give you any second thoughts. I guess that, sometimes, hearing everyone's thoughts for so many years it's frustrating, tiring. And you kind of feel that you're intruding in people's privacy. I mean…thinking without anyone to hear it is sort of a gift God has given everyone, I guess. But when I see white, it all just disappears. It's simple, easy…It's just…white."

It wasn't what I was expecting to hear.

"You don't like your gift?"

"Not really," he shrugged, "It's sometimes useful, but…most of the time it's just annoying, it's like I can't have a bit of peace of mind. Well, couldn't…and it's not just that: the Volturi are always on my ass because of it."

"They want you?"

"Yeah. I don't really know why though. Their leader is a mind-reader. He can know everything someone had ever thought just with a simple touch."

"Well, it makes sense they want you. I mean…you don't need to touch anyone. It becomes kind of handy in a battle or if someone's coming."

"And if they could get Alice it would be like having two psychics."

"Yeah. Wait,…you said you _couldn't_have a bit of peace of mind. What does that mean?"

"I can't read minds anymore," the sides of his lips curled up a bit.

That was good news. I hated his gift. He was right: it was like intruding in people's privacy.

"Let's play twenty questions," I suggested.

"Alright."

"Is Edward your only name?"

"No."

"What…"

"It's my turn. Favorite animal to hunt?"

"Um…probably deer."

"Not an original answer but whatever. It's your turn."

"What's your second name?"

"Anthony. When's your birthday?"

"29th February."

"That sucks."

"I know. The exact date you were born?"

"20th June 1901."

"Wow. You're old."

"Possible future job?"

"Firefighter."

"Impressive."

"Favorite sport?"

"Baseball. Yours?"

"Football," deciding it was time to ask the big question, I took a deep breath and let it come out. "Are you planning on telling your family and Bella what happened to you?"

"No,"he said, immediately.

"Why not?"

"It's my turn."

"I don't care. Tell me why."

"I pass."

"We're not playing anymore."

"Then I'm leaving," he coldly said, getting up. I imitated him.

"No, you're not."

"Watch me," he started walking, but I was faster and got in front of him.

"Jacob, just…" he looked away, "I just need some time alone, okay?"

"Not until I know why you won't tell your family this."

"It's none of your business!" he tried to push past me, but I didn't move an inch.

"You have to tell them. If not all of them, just tell the Doc what happened."

"What happened?" he snapped.

"You…you were…"

"You're rambling. I was what, huh? I don't even know what you're talking about!"

I couldn't fucking believe this!

"Are you going to pretend nothing happened?"

"No, because _nothing_happened. I'm absolutely fine."

"Your eyes are red and puffy from crying. You're not okay. Look, I understand that you're trying to forget, but…"

"I'm not trying to forget anything!" he screamed, exasperated, "I'm fi…"

He couldn't finish, as he doubled over and hugged his stomach, gasping.

"Edward?" I called, worried.

He grumbled in pain. I took a step towards him. I saw his legs giving up and before he crashed on the floor, I caught him in my arms.

"Edward? Can you hear me?"

"Y-yes."

"Edward, what hurts?"

"M-my sto-mach."

I'd always thought seeing him in pain would bring me pleasure. Once again, things had changed a lot, as had my feelings for him. Right now my heart ached for him as he whimpered.

I took him upstairs, his arm around my shoulder, my own around his waist. I could see something was seriously hurting in him, but it seemed as he had made a pact with himself to not show it. He sometimes shut his eyes and gritted his teeth, but he didn't make a sound.

When we got to his room he sat on the middle of the bed, breathing heavily. He rocked back and forth, as if to calm himself and tried to make breathing exercises.

"One, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, argh!"

Without thinking, I grabbed the first phone I found and searched Carlisle's number. I pressed "call" and waited for him to answer it. One ring, two rings, three…

"Hello?"

"Hey," I said, nervously, not knowing what to say.

"Who is this?"

"Um…Jacob Black."

"Ah, Jacob, I'm guessing you have fully recovered. How's your father?"

"Cut the crap, Doc. I'm calling because your son needs you."

"Edward? What's wrong with him?"

"Just come home, Carlisle. I'll explain everything later."

"Right. I'll be there in a minute."

I hung up, without replying and rushed to Edward's side. He was shaking now and I had no idea what to do.

"Edward," I took his face in my hands turning it to me. "Carlisle's coming. Keep calm. He'll figure something out."

"Y-you sh-shouldn't-t ha-ve done th-tha-t."

"You don't have to tell him anything. I'll leave that decision to you. But right now, he's needed here."

He nodded, violently.

His expression of pain was killing me, so I did the first thing that came to my mind – I started rubbing his stomach. My hand stopped as I felt some movement there. I frowned and looked at him.

"Don't stop," he panted.

I started it again. After a few moments, Edward released a breath and I knew the pain was fading. I smiled, conscious that I had been the cause of it. He closed his eyes, resting his head on the headboard.

"Jacob," he grabbed my hand. The feeling shocked me. It was like an electric shock, but it felt good. Edward looked at our hands with curiosity. He had felt it, too. "Thank you," he murmured.

His soft warm hand in mine, slightly smaller and still a bit chilly, felt wonderful. None of us wanted to let go. I gripped him tighter, but not enough to hurt him. He did the same and we looked at each other. His eyes were that liquid emerald, capable of melting anyone's heart.

We heard a car arriving and immediately separated, both staring at our laps, as if ashamed.

Five seconds later Carlisle was in the room.

"What happened?" he asked, walking to where we were. As he approached Edward I saw his eyes widen and his nostrils opening. His sniff echoed in the room. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. "How…?"

"We don't know," I said.

"Jesus Christ," he pulled his hair. He made his way toward us and sat on the bed, on the opposite side of me. "You're…you're human," he whispered, raising his hand, as if wanting to touch him, but afraid of hurting his son. He finally found the courage to do so and touched his cheek lightly. Edward shivered and Carlisle grinned, "You're human!"

The younger nodded.

"Carlisle," I interrupted and he looked at me, his smile never fading. "I know this is a huge deal, but…that's not the reason why I called."

He gave me a confused look and I turned my gaze to Edward who was starting to panic. I didn't have any intention to tell anyone what had happened to him in the woods. As I had said before, it was his decision to do so, even if he took the wrong way and chose to keep it to himself, I wouldn't object. But the pain he had felt a while ago wasn't directly related to the other subject and Carlisle needed to know. He was the kind of person that always knew what to do. I couldn't let this pass by. What if it happened again? What if it was something serious?

"Edward," I started. "Remember what I said. That part of the story is up to you to tell," he visibly relaxed with my words.

"So," Doc said. "Why did you call?"

"If you'd arrived a bit earlier you'd see what I'm talking about. He and I were in the kitchen talking and he started to feel this strong pain in his stomach. It was after I hung up the phone that it faded."

Carlisle looked at me; his expression was of shock and anger. He turned to Edward, the anger intensifying.

"How strong?" he was obviously trying to keep calm. His son had turned white, scared as hell. "Edward, how strong?" he pronounced each word slowly.

Whatever he was thinking, it wasn't good shit. I had never seen the man like that. And he was mad at him. What was he up to? I could feel the speed the boy's heart was beating as if it was mine and hear his labored breathing.

"Ed…"

"Stop," I cut him off. "Can't you fucking see what you're doing to him?"

He turned to me, taken back and returned his gaze to his son again.

"I'm sorry," he said lowly.

Edward relaxed, releasing the breath he was holding.

"Meet me in my office. I want to do some tests," he said, coldly.

"I'm not a fucking subject you can just study!"

Carlisle narrowed his eyes at him, in warning.

"If I were you I'd be careful with the language you use inside this house, young man," he scolded. "I want you in my office. You have five minutes," he completed as he closed the door and disappeared from our sights.

"Edward, you're not a subject, he just wants to see what's wrong with you."

"Why do you think he was so angry at me?" his voice cracked.

"Don't think like that. He wasn't angry at you."

"He was."

I wanted to object and say exactly what I was thinking but it just wouldn't go well. "He's not angry at you, man, he's angry at the one who raped you, which means he knows about it, by the way." What the fuck? I couldn't say that.

"I-I have to go," he informed.

"Yeah, ok. Don't worry, it'll be fine."

"Thanks," he gave me a weak smile and got out.

Now that I was alone and knew they would take their time, I proceeded to investigate his room. Looking at the window, I saw it was early morning and the rain pounded heavily on the glass; so hard I was afraid it would shatter. Still, it was a breathtaking sight. Yet dark. No doubt that. Loud booms and flashlights kept coming from time to time. I didn't take a special like in this kind of weather, but thunder had always been intriguing; it was like God was angry. It fitted perfectly with the reality of our situation. Somehow, storms managed to be peaceful and, at the same time, powerful. The clouded sky was whitish grey, as Edward had said, it was easy to stare at. When people thought about it too much it would feel like it took or transmitted energy. For the ones who didn't really care, it was like some background noise, almost comforting, as they watched movies and drank hot chocolate, savoring the afternoon at home. Then there was these pussies who were scared enough to shit their pants just by hearing it. It was annoyingly stupid and pathetic **(AN: no offense to the people who are afraid of storms, it's actually cute, I guess. Not my fault Jacob thinks it's a bad thing. Just kidding xD Back to the story)**.

There were pictures on the walls; not many, but enough to appreciate. Most of them were photographs or portraits. There was one picture, on the right of the big shelf. It was of a city, a big one, may I add and, as I looked closer there was no doubt – Chicago. I wondered why he would have a picture of Chicago in his room. I would find out in time, when I finished seeing the family photographs. On the left there was a photo of what looked like a wedding. Barbie (I think her name was Rosalie) was dressed in an elegant white wedding dress, holding hands and kissing Bear (Emmett, I think the guy was actually cool, but I liked my nickname for him), who was dressed in a black suit. He didn't look very happy. I guess it's understandable. When you're huge and have to fit into a tuxedo, it tends to be uncomfortable. Behind them, Mrs. Psychic and Joker (I thought the name was appropriate because of his hair) danced, both carrying grins on their marble faces. Doc and Esme were holding each other, looking at their sons, pride and adoration in their eyes. There were a few other vamps on the background, just chatting, but no sign of Edward. Then I read, below the picture:

_Rosalie Lillian Hale and Emmett McCarty Cullen, third wedding. Taken by: Edward._

Jeez, third wedding? A vampire's life must be boring.

There was a white sofa next to the TV, against another wall. Above it, there was this collection of photographs, all black and white, but they weren't old, they looked like they had been taken just a few years ago. They were all teenage style. All of them carrying the same carefree energy between Edward and what appeared to be a strawberry blonde girl, not much older than him. She had the same bright eyes he had, which meant she fed off animals. And here I was thinking the Cullens were the only freaks in the leeches' world. Not that I object their way of life. In the first photo, she was kissing his cheek, as he gave a shy smile, eyes downcast. In the second, it was the contrary. However, the girl didn't look embarrassed; there was a huge grin on her face. Yeah, right, no one noticed she liked him…no one. Or did! In the third one, they were setting up a snowman. It would have looked innocent and child-like, if it wasn't for the way they were doing it: he had made two perfect spheres between the two sticks, which were supposed to be arms, and had put two black buttons on each one, and she had sticked a carrot in it. Well, let's just say she didn't use it to pretend it was a nose. Best of it was: they really looked like they were having fun! I couldn't help but snicker, but resisted the urge to laugh out loud. Carlisle had certainly heard it, but I couldn't let Edward do so. Who would have guessed perfect boy was a pervert? May be it was just with her. Below it, it said: _Best Friends Edward Cullen and Tanya Denali, 1998, Alaska. Taken by: Kate._So, he did have a best friend. It was good to know Bella wasn't the only girl he loved, besides his family. It sometimes seemed he was obsessed with her. I had felt the same and it didn't feel fine. Not a bit. It wouldn't have been fair for him that he didn't have anyone he could tell his deepest secrets and, most important, someone who could make him laugh. His relationship with Bella had so much love it wasn't even pretty. They didn't trust each other. It didn't look like a real relationship, but more like a forced one. I couldn't help but think that this Tanya would have been much better for him, but, sometimes, it wasn't our decision to make. We sometimes did not have control over feelings like love. It feels good when you're with her, it feels awful when you loose her, you feel the worst creature when you hurt her, you feel pleasure when you touch her, you feel that tinkling when you kiss her, you think she's beautiful, you're jealous when she's with someone else, but…inside…you're empty. It doesn't feel right, you're not happy. However, there was this uncomfortable sensation when I thought about Edward and Tanya together. Something I could only describe as…jealousy? Seriously, man, this is all screwing my head up.

A loud boom knocked me out of my thoughts.

Edward stepped in the room, nimbly, and started pacing.

"Hey, you're…"

"Don't," he cut me off, stopping and turning to me. Then, he restarted the pacing.

I watched him for a few moments, but when my head started feeling dizzy I had to do something.

"Are you planning to make a hole on the floor or something?"

He simply flipped me off. Boy is he nasty!

Suddenly, he stopped and grabbed the first thing he got his hands on, which happened to be a small jar. He threw it, breaking the piece of art. He huffed and closed his eyes.

"God, it feels good," he sighed.

"Edward," I calmly approached him. "What's going on? Where's Carlisle?"

"He went hunting," he replied, opening his eyes.

"So…how did it go?"

"Fine," he shrugged. I swear to God that if he says that word one more time… "Not counting with the last test."

"What was the last test?"

He run his hand through his hair and pulled it, while looking at me, a dead serious expression on his face.

"I'm fucking pregnant," he breathed.

And then everything went black.

**AN: It's fucking up! I hope you liked it. Sorry if I took too long, but I'm planning to take more or less a week to make each chapter. And sorry for making Eddie and Jakie fight, by the way, but I just thought it was necessary; they needed to let it come out. Mmm…and now you wonder why Carlisle is so upset with Edward. Wait for the next to find out!**

**Don't forget to review. I've been receiving more love than I expected and you have no idea how it makes me feel ;D Keep doing it!**

**Love**

**Your Carol**


	3. You called me Jake

JPOV

Someone was slapping me. And I didn't like it. Not a bit. Whoever motherfucker was doing that did have a strong hand. It wasn't exactly hurtful, more like uncomfortable. And it stung a little, I had to admit. I swear to God if the guy doesn't stop bitch slapping me I'll have to use my fist. And _that_ will hurt. Fortunately, not me. And I had to thank some angel up there I heard his voice before doing something.

"Dude, come on, wake up!"

I opened my eyes to find Edward's concerned green orbs staring at me.

"Man, you're okay? You scared me there for a minute," he said.

I slowly sat up, wondering what had happened. Had I passed out? It wasn't usual of me, so there had to be a good reason. When the wheels started turning in my head, I thought I was going to faint again. It kept repeating in my ears like a mantra.

"YOU ARE WHAT?" I grabbed him by his shoulders. His eyes widened in surprise. "You just fucking said you're pregnant. How? When? Where? Why? TELL ME!"

"Well, it was actually a while ago I said that. You were out for at least ten minutes."

Was he for real?

"Are you being sarcastic?"

"No," he frowned, confused.

"For God sake, Edward. Just…Is that even possible?"

He started shifting uncomfortably in my grip.

"Jacob, can you…" he swallowed "…can you just let go?"

What's with me and my lack of thinking? I just keep screwing up with him. I quickly did as he asked and hung my arms at my sides.

"Just…tell me," I pleaded.

He got up and extended his hand. I imitated him without his help and raised an eyebrow.

"Are you alright?" he asked, "Are you dizzy? Do you want some water or something?"

I rolled my eyes and he looked down.

"I was just worried," he mumbled.

"Tell me," I sighed.

He climbed his bed and sat in the middle, Indian-style.

"Sit," he ordered.

Shit, this wasn't good. I did as he said, sitting in front of him, in the same position.

"Um, so, you know, Carlisle did some tests. I'm healthy. The last test was a…um…pregnancy test. Weird, I know. I almost freaked out. Still, I made it. And…it was positive. Dad knew all along it had to do with this. He already suspected. I think that's why he was mad at me."

"But it wasn't your fault!" I protested, interrupting him.

"Will you just hear me out?" he said, clearly irritated.

I simply nodded.

"Well, you're probably wondering how this is possible," _Hell yeah! "_I always thought this was just a myth, but…" he rolled his eyes. "Whatever, vampires and werewolves are supposed to be myths as well," he took a deep breath. "There's this myth that says that among vampires there are a few ones that are slightly different: the Succubus and the Incubus."

"What's that?"

He closed his eyes.

"I swear to God if he doesn't shut up…" he sang.

"Sorry. Go on."

"A Succubus is a female vampire that was a demon before she was changed. From what Carlisle showed me, they seduce human males and have…yeah, you know…with them and get pregnant. An Incubus is basically the same, but they seduce human females and can't get pregnant. Oh, and they're males, by the way."

"Where are you going with this?"

"I'm an Incubus."

I didn't know why I wasn't freaking out yet, but this was fucking confusing. I had a demon in front of me who I hated and then started liking and trusting and now I had no idea what to think of him. Jeez, I wasn't even thinking coherently.

"So," I swallowed. "You're a demon."

"Uh," he shrugged. "Not really, I guess. There's…uh…" he looked down. "I've lived alone, like…completely alone and I…uh…drank human blood."

"What the fuck?" I shot up.

"It's bad, I know it's bad, but I-I…I didn't kill anyone innocent. I know that doesn't erase what I've done, but…I do-don't know. I…please, listen, I used my gift," he shouted the last part. "I only killed criminals, not thieves…more like murderers and…and…" he stared at his lap like it was the cover of his favorite book. "If you want to leave, you're free to go, you have all the reasons to. Well, it's not like you had to be here in the first place, but…I'm not saying I don't want you here, don't get me wrong, but, anyway,…" he paused. "Kay, I'm rambling,"he whispered more to himself than me.

The way he was trembling and his quiet sniffs told me something that made me feel almost guilty – he was crying. I lowered, holding myself with one hand on the bed. I used the other to raise his chin gently, making him look at me. His emerald eyes had those brown and orange reflexes I fucking loved, wet and shiny. The tip of his nose was already pink and there were tiny trails of salty water running down his face.

"Hey…"

The air was knocked out of me as Edward's arms circled my neck tightly and rested his forehead in the crook of it.

"I can't loose you," he sounded so broken. "You're the only one that knows. You're the only one that will understand and you're the only one who can help me. And I'm fucking scared and I don't know what to do. I didn't want to admit it, but it's true and I can't deny it anymore. I'm scared as hell and since you've brought me home I've been having the feeling that if you weren't here this would be much worse. So, please don't leave. I…I need you," he talked so fast that I'm sure if I was normal I wouldn't have caught it. But I did. And my smile was so big I thought my cheeks would tear apart. He said he needed me. _No problems by me._He sounded so desperate there was no way in hell I could say no. And even if he didn't I would anyway. I longed for him. It felt good to be with him. And I couldn't get enough.

I put my arms around his waist.

"I won't," I said.

He stopped and, for a second, I thought he had stopped functioning all together, but then I heard him quietly asking:

"Really?"

I nodded. This moment had been special and intense and it would be truly awesome to hug him for an entire hour, but we had things to deal with. I still didn't understand how it was possible for him to get pregnant and damn, I was curious. There was so much we had to talk about. I would have to start where we stopped.

"Edward, why did you tell me those things about your past?"

"You asked me if I was a demon," he stated lowly. "I have this theory that all vampires are monsters, biologically, at least. I've always felt out of place in this family, except for Jasper, of course, because I've been one of those my siblings and parents didn't have full respect for. I've always felt like there was a demon inside me…or still do. I don't know what to think right now. But, it's not like those myths. I mean…I don't believe I was such an evil creature before Carlisle bit me. I was just…normal, I think. And I've never seduced a human. I fell in love with Bella, but that's different, I guess."

"So that's it?" I scoffed. "You're not a demon, Edward."

"Whatever."

"So…you didn't say Incubus could get pregnant. I still don't get it."

"I believe there are only a few people who know about this myth. Carlisle showed me a book where it said that if there are…uh…things…between an Incubus and another m-male, the first gets pregnant. And to carry the child the body turns human, in case the baby is destined to be human. Carlisle knew right then the other father had to be…"he gulped. "…a werewolf, because of…the pain I felt earlier. He says it will happen frequently."

I gulped.

"Uh..ok…you're…pregnant, like…you _are_ pregnant."

"I haven't decided if this is a good thing or not yet. What do you think?"

_Shit!_ What was I supposed to say? In those soap operas my sisters usually made me watch, women were always happy when they found out their tits would be massive (I really hoped Edward didn't grew boobs), they would carry a huge bump, they'd be hungry all the time, puking everything they ingested in the first weeks and God knows what else. But I guess those weren't really the reasons they were felicitous. It was because they would be mommies. Maybe Edward was glad he would be a father, but his case was…different. After all the child was _his_, too.

"I…uh…I don't know. How do you feel about it?"

"I don't consider this baby _his_," I felt him shiver in my arms. "I do know this will change my life completely: my relationship with Bella, my family, myself, even my body. But, it's all worth it. Everything for this little angel inside me. I'm already attached to him," I felt his smile against my neck. "I've always wanted a child of my own, you know? I wanted it to be the right way, but…this is nice enough."

That was it. If he was happy, I was happy. Nothing else mattered.

I noticed now that we haven't changed our position in a while. I wouldn't be the first to do it. I would plead him not to. This had been there all along and we were so blind with our hate we didn't see it. Home is where the heart is – that's what they say. I felt at home. I felt strong, free, happy. Edward's heart beating against mine felt magic. I decided to take the risk and know if this was mutual.

"Do you feel this?" I asked, breaking the silence.

He nodded.

"It feels nice," he commented.

"Do you know what's also nice?"

"What?"

"We haven't thought about Bella in a few hours."

"I'm proud of myself for it."

"Me, too."

"I feel relieved."

"Same for me."

"How did we not see this before?"

"Blinded by hate, I guess."

"It was kind of silly," he chuckled softly.

"It was pathetic," I corrected.

"Yeah, it was."

"Tell me what you feel right now."

"I feel protected, safe, like finally someone cares about me, I feel capable of anything, like I'm in heaven. I feel peace. What about you?"

"Are you seeing white?" I cackled.

"Yes, Jacob, I am," he said, with a hint of laugh. "Did anyone tell you that you're amazing? That you just make people's pain and fears go away?"

"No."

"Shame on those jerks."

"Did anyone tell you that you're the bravest and strongest person emotionally they had ever met?"

"No."

"Shame on those fuckers."

It was pure truth. He couldn't be more unique. Not twenty-four hours had passed since he had been…If it was still terrifying me, I had no idea how hard it was for him. Yet his reaction wasn't as bad as common. It seemed like he could block it for a few minutes, but when something reminded him of what had happened he would start panicking. I was afraid that would turn worse soon. Something told me he was holding everything inside and would explode some time.

"What about you, Jacob? What do you feel?"

"Complete. At peace. Happy. Strong."

"Things changed so much."

"Yes, they did. You have a busy life, man."

He hummed.

_Not a nice comment, I get it_. We were silent for another half an hour or so, just like that – hugging each other tightly, not wanting to let go. I felt at the top of a mountain, savoring the wind and the sun, receiving the beautiful view's energy. This was heaven for me. I was sure he was the closest I could ever get to such a sweet place.

_Fucking shit, why did you have to stop?_I thought as he released me.

"I'm hungry."

I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Let's feed ourselves then."

"Will you cook?"

I didn't really think about that.

"I don't know how to," I admitted.

He shrugged.

"Then we're going out."

My jaw almost touched the ground as we entered the garage. How rich were the Cullens really? Why did they need cars anyway? Oh yeah, to pretend they're humans. No matter how stupid that sounds, but whatever. Jeep Wrangler (must be Bear's); Shiny Silver Volvo S60R (I've never liked that one, but it _is_a good car); Yellow Porsche 911 Turbo (oh la la, whose?); Black Aston Martin V12 Vanquish (fuck, that's my dream car).**(AN: I don't know what color the car is, but I think I read somewhere it was silver, but I prefer it black).**

I must have looked like an idiot, grinning and pointing to the last car, because Edward made a strange face. He looked at me, then at the car and at me again, understanding on his face.

"You want her?"

Was he serious? I answered by the way my eyes lit up, hopeful.

"Buy one then," he said, matter-of-factly.

My face fell, immediately.

"Can we at least drive it?"

"I usually save her for special occasions, but she's not getting any younger and I've been spoiling her, it's time for her to get to work," it didn't escape me the way he treated the car. _Take that, Bella, he loves another one…and she's black_! I wonder what her name is. Sorry, but this is just too funny!

Wait, wait, wait: so we _are_using it today! Joy! I didn't want to be nosy, but there was still something I wanted to do.

"Can I drive?" my voice sounded timid to my own ears.

He was silent for a few moments, thinking, looking at the car. _Seriously, what's the problem? It's a car!_

"Uh…alright," he said, finally, "Just be careful with her."

_Let's get you started, baby._

I wasn't disappointed at all when we were inside the car. If all, I was glad to be driving it. The white leather seats were comfortable and low, just how I like them. The steering wheel felt perfect in my hands and, before we both knew it, I had already started the car and we were on our way.

"Where do you want to go?" I asked.

"I don't know. I'm not exactly an expert when we're talking about food."

"How did chocolate taste?"

"Pretty good, actually."

"Do you like pizza?"

"Last time I checked it tasted like dirt."

"Maybe this time you'll like it. I think it's delicious."

"Is there a nice place to have lunch in Forks?"

"Not really. But we could always go to Port Angeles."

"Uh…fine," he didn't sound so sure of himself.

I casted him a glance. He was staring out of the window, as we passed a green blur. His fists opened and closed nervously.

"Something's wrong?"

" Why would it be?" he turned to me. "Everything's great," he didn't fool me. But if he didn't say it I couldn't do anything. I wasn't a fucking mind-reader.

"Eyes on the road, Jacob."

"Maybe it was a bad idea."

"No, we're having lunch in Port Angeles," the way he said it was somehow too strange, he spoke firmly, like he_had_ to do it, like it was some kind of task. If he really wanted to, I wouldn't stop him. "Uh…Jake, can you drive faster?"

"I'm driving fast."

"Please," he scoffed. "My grandma would get there before you did. On foot!"

"You don't have a grandma."

"I did."

"Are you talking about when she was young or when she was old enough to be your grand-mother? Was she a good runner?"

"Probably when she was young. I don't think she got to be old. She died before I was born."

"I'm sorry."

"Why? I never met her."

"I'm sorry if I'm being slow."

"Don't apologize. Drive faster."

I smirked, remembering something.

"What?"

"You called me Jake."

The drive to Port Angeles lasted much less than I expected, due to Edward's protests of my slowness. Each time I got faster it wasn't enough. If he drove a car while I was in it, I had a feeling I would have a panic attack. How fast was he used to drive? He must be a demon…on the road!

We were now entering a not so known small restaurant called "The Mullet". It would take a lot of my time trying to understand what kind of drugs the owners are on, so I won't even bother. I want to see the waiters with the hairstyle though. Oh, the eighties!

Edward got in first and I couldn't help but watch and admire the way his ass moved in front of me, in those dark-wash jeans. I had borrowed Emmett's jeans and a black V-neck T-shirt. Edward's clothes wouldn't fit me, that was for sure. He had a slim, yet defined, body, mine was more like bulky. And I was much taller than him. Bear's stuff was a little bit large for me, though. Just a little bit, ok? Don't exaggerate. Edward was covered upwards with a white sweatshirt. He really looked good in sweatshirts. I don't know what has gone through his mind to start wearing these kinds of clothes, not that I object. He looked like a real teenager. The adult shoes he usually wore were replaced by brand new white Air Force Nikes. _What's with the white?_ I had no idea what kind of sneakers I was wearing, but they were comfortable enough. He was also wearing a black scarf and gloves. For that I was glad. His nose was red enough as it was.

We chose a small table away from the crowded area (our talks weren't exactly what people needed to hear nowadays) and sat. He seemed relieved to be inside. Not that I noticed it, but it must have been really cold outside.

Five minutes later a waitress came to get us our menus. Edward didn't seem to pay much attention to her, but I didn't like a bit the way she was staring at him. _Is it possible to fuck someone with your eyes?_ Not because I wanted her to look at me instead, no. She wasn't even that pretty: brown hair, blue eyes, skinny, nice tits though, but I bet they were fake. Not only it was a disrespectful act, because she was acting like I wasn't even there, but yes, I was fucking jealous. No one should look at him that way besides me…and Bella (they were engaged after all, I just hoped that would change soon). Yep, I was definitely falling for him.

I decided to see what was there good enough to eat, taking a look at my menu. Edward was reading his in pure concentration, his brows furrowed.

I laughed my ass off when I saw that the specialty of the place was their mullet with sautéed vegetables. I was pretty conscious everyone in the restaurant had shut up and was looking at me, but I didn't care. Edward was no exception and was giving me the oddest stare.

"Jacob, are you okay?" he asked, lowly, looking around embarrassed.

"I was really hoping to see the hairstyle! Damn it," I said, dramatically, laughing harder.

Edward smiled, but it looked more like a grimace as he leaned closer and looked around, nodding once to some fucker.

"Jacob," he hissed."What's going on?" he whispered/yelled.

"When I saw the name of the restaurant I thought the waiters would have that eighties' hairstyle, but…" I couldn't talk. "Just read the menu!" he did as I said. His eyes travelled down the page until he stopped and looked up, eyeing me disapprovingly.

"What?" I said and he simply shook his head.

Leave it alone to Edward to laugh when he's not supposed to and not do it when it is.

_Or maybe you're the one who's stupid and he knew all along a mullet was a kind of fish._

"Have you picked yet?" I tried to change the subject.

"No, I did not," he frowned. "Is ice-cream good?"

"Yeah, it is good, but it's a dessert."

"Oh. Am I supposed to eat things like rice and pasta and stuff before eating dessert?"

"Yep."

"That sucks," I chuckled.

"You can have that after soup, for example."

"Does it taste nice?"

"It depends of what soup it is, I think. I'm not very fond of it, but maybe you'll like it."

"Okay. I guess I'll take that first, then."

"I'm picking the mullet," I cackled. "Might at least be healthy just once."

"Me, too."

We ordered our food and Miss Eye-fucker swayed her hips as she walked to tell the cookers what it was. So subtle…Not! What was she trying to show? Her ass bones or the skin that covered them? I didn't respect whores, not a bit, but some of them at least could give some view to a man and make him hard, but holy shit this one didn't have a mirror at home!

We had both ordered coke. Well, I ordered coke for us as soon as the word wine started getting out of his mouth (because he thinks he's a very grown-up man and can drink alcohol, worse: he think it tastes nice) and then reminded him he wasn't twenty-one yet. He answered me by scoffing and informing he was older than my own father. I retorted he had to be careful with his health, then. "But I'm seventeen!" he replied. Do you see my point? How confusing can it be? I could have easily asked for the bottle and drink it, as long as they made sure Edward didn't touch it. I could pass as a twenty-five-year-old, but his physical appearance screamed "I'm a minor!"

Edward practically devoured his soup and much to my surprise he didn't get any on his face or clothes afterwards. He needed to use the napkin though, of course. However, he was making faces as he ate his fish. I really didn't want to think about its name or I would crack up laughing.

"I don't like mullet," he said, quietly and I choked. _Man, I'm trying over here!_

"Me neither," I choked out between coughs, trying to contain my laugh.

The waitress came soon to take our almost full dishes and ask what we wanted to have then. Guess what? She noticed me! Joy. Now she started an Eye – ménage à trois! She is creepy, she is a slut, she is bitchy, she is a klutz, she's E-Y-E-F-U-C-k-E-R-W-H-O-R-E! Ok, the klutz part was made to rhyme, 'cause I think she walked just fine, not gracefully, but she didn't trip or anything.

As expected, Edward ordered chocolate ice-cream and I chose the same, but mine was strawberry. It was nice to see that finally something was making him at least just a little bit excited. I hadn't seen him react to basically anything since we'd arrived the restaurant. Normally no one distasted ice-cream, but it would actually suck if he did so, because he'd be disappointed. Luckily, the ice-cream was pretty good and Edward let it melt in his mouth, while he closed his eyes. He seemed to be enjoying himself and I smiled at it. Watching him savoring a simple, yet precious, moment made me feel warm inside.

Edward paid for our lunch, obviously. I hadn't brought any money with me and I wasn't exactly a rich prick, so I didn't put up a fight with him. I wouldn't even if I did have money. 'Cause it's fucking stupid when people fight over shit like that. I mean, if someone is offering to pay the bill and being generous, why the trouble? Snooty people are not smart people. Money is more important than pride, that's what I use to say.

It was now almost three in the afternoon. It didn't bother me a bit, but it was fucking cold in Port Angeles. It wasn't a wet cold, thankfully, but the air was truly icy. As I use to say: Antarctic heat. Edward's body didn't react nicely to this kind of weather, that much was obvious. He had already scared a little kid away with the chattering of his teeth and, if possible, his hair had gotten even messier, sticking up to every direction. His lips had gained a purplish color and his freckles were more noticeable. We needed to go indoors before he caught hypothermia.

"Hey, man, do you want to go and watch a movie?" I suggested, fighting the urge to say something stupid like: "If you want to, blink once, if not blink twice." I think he could at least nod or shake his head.

"O-o-o-k-k-k-k-a-a-y," Oh, good, he can talk. He stutters, but he talks.

Once we were inside the theatre, we went to choose a movie. Edward made a face to almost every poster, but stopped, suddenly, as his eyes lit up and he pointed with his thumb. I walked over to where he was.

""Rio"?" Seriously, Edward?"

"We're not twenty-one yet," it was all he said, as he left me standing there staring at his back and went to pay for the tickets.

Although animated films were not really my type (maybe because dad had told me to man up and start watching action movies), I was enjoying myself. A lot. It was fucking hilarious. Most of the people in the room were parents with their kids, which made me think two men watching talking birds was ridiculous, but did I care? Nope. There were a few people our age, too. We were sitting in the back of the room, away from everybody. It was Edward's decision, but I went freely along with it. I preferred it this way, too. He didn't laugh as much as I did, he simply chuckled from time to time and smiled weakly. He wasn't really into it; I could see that, but I guess it's pretty understandable. He's taking this pretty well…too well. This would only make things worse.

When the movie ended, I got up to leave, but Edward's now warm hand stopped me. I looked down at him and, even in the dark, I could perfectly see his puppy-dog emerald eyes, pleading with me, but I had no idea what he wanted. He pushed my arm gently and I leaned forward.

"Wait a moment. Don't leave now. Please," his voice sounded scared as he whispered his plea in my ear and I sat immediately, taking a closer look at him. He seemed to be hiding himself in that spot, sliding down on his seat so no one could see him and was trembling slightly.

_Symptom 1._Shit, I knew something like this would happen sooner or later. Until now he had stayed away from big crowds, but there were too many people now, all leaving the room at the same time. Of course he was scared. I was scared myself. I was scared someone just grabbed him and he got hurt. I was scared he simply disappeared. I needed him and I wasn't afraid to admit it. He was an important part of my life now. If some male stranger touched him I'm sure I would slip and carry him over my shoulder all the way home. He didn't trust people. He had all the rights to not do so. It was still early and he was doing well. I didn't expect him to just go back to the same he was before and get over it. I'd actually waited for the moment he would finally freak out, because it seemed normal to me, given the circumstances.

I crouched in front of him and took his hand. I used my left one to put a hand on his shoulder, rubbing it, trying to comfort him.

"I'll wait. Don't worry. It's okay," I said, gently and he squeezed my hand.

"Thank you."

We stayed there and waited until the crowd vanished.

"There's no one here. No reason to be afraid. We can go now," I encouraged him. "Are you ready? Do you want to go?"

He nodded curtly and we both got up. We took a step at the same time and took it back simultaneously.

"Uh…after you," he said.

"No, you go first," I tried to be polite and I could see he was trying, too. But let me tell you: that shit was fucking pathetic, because we were no ladies, so we just shrugged it off and Edward went first. Of course, I joked a little about the awkward situation and I couldn't be happier when he gave me a warm smile in return. I was so proud of him.

It wasn't as cold as before, so we decided to just walk around the city. It didn't have much interesting to see, not in my opinion; it was kind of a commercial place. Not my thing, really. I didn't like too crowded places nor concrete pavements every-fucking-where. This place is sort of useful because it's the closest to Forks where you can go shopping. The damn town not even a theatre has. Oh, but I do know of some bitches that love Port Angeles. We had just bumped into them.

"Edward! What on Earth are you doing here?" a high-pitched voice said and Edward cringed. I saw it belonged to a blonde tall girl. She was average, to a certain point, I guess there had to be some guy interested.

"Oh, hey, Lauren," he greeted, not too enthusiastically. _No, Ed, no one noticed you were bored or annoyed. No one. "_Yeah, you know, just hanging out…with…" he pointed his thumb at me. "…Jacob."

"Weren't you like…ready to kill each other the other day at school…because of…y'know…Bella?" Before, I would have been angry by the way she spat her name, but now I had the weird attitude of internally screaming _Go, Blondie!_

"Oh, that," he shoved her off. "It was just a misunderstanding. We're good now."

"Well, that's good to hear," she smiled. "Where is she?"

"She's in Seattle with the Chief," I answered for him.

"Mm," she stared at him and her eyes widened. "I swear I've never noticed you had freckles."

"Oh, well, but I do," he said, nervously.

"Hey, are you wearing contacts?"

"Uh…no, this is my natural color," it wasn't a lie.

"It looks awesome on you."

"Thanks."

"I like your clothes," she commented.

"Yeah, me, too," it took me a while to understand I had said it out loud, because Lauren was giving me a funny look, Edward the oddest stare and Jessica, I think her name was, well…I couldn't quite figure out her expression. Her eyes kept travelling from him to me. She looked sort of fascinated with something. We were silent for a few moments, the girls looking at us, as we observed our feet. _Hey, nice shoes. Are those Vans?_It was actually a cool activity, I liked my borrowed footwear. _Awkward? Nah._

"My God, you two are so hot!"

I raised my head to find who had spoken – Jessica, who was smiling like crazy. I guess she couldn't contain it any longer. Oh, women! Lauren was blushing furiously. Edward cleared his throat.

"We should get going. It was nice to see you. Bye," before we knew it he had started walking. I waved goodbye to them and followed him. Behind me I could hear them giggling like the high school bitches they were. Whatever…

We kept walking until we got into a desert place, not far away from the woods. I didn't know where we were going nor did I care, but this place was probably the best area I had seen in Port Angeles. There was no one there at the moment. It had a few houses, but most of them were abandoned. On the other side of the road we could see a small old park. It seemed so dead, but at the same time so alive. Never mind me, I have these confusing thoughts frequently. We had both noticed it so I decided to go there. Edward followed me. We sat immediately on the swings, listening to their squeaking and the hissing of the wind.

"My sisters and I used to go to parks all the time when we were kids," I decided to start a conversation and Edward turned his attention to me.

"Really?" he seemed genuinely interested.

"Yeah. I miss those times," I smiled at the memories. "No matter what people say, the truth is everyone has been a child before, everyone was innocent once."

"Yeah," he agreed.

"What about you? Don't you have good memories of your childhood?"

"I don't remember much," he shrugged, then a small smile slowly filled his expression. "Wait…yeah, I remember when my dad and I played baseball together and when I did something wrong he used to steal my cap so I had to run after him," I laughed when I tried to imagine it. In a few months, I hoped I could see a small version of Edward and eventually play with him. I loved children. I just crossed my fingers so the baby wouldn't be like _him_, whoever the fucker was. I didn't care if he was good-looking.

"And when Dad invited his friends from work for dinner, Mom always made pie. I loved her pie," it was amazing the adoration he carried in his voice and I realized something. Edward had always been against Bella turning into a vampire and now I had a feeling I knew why. He had probably had a good life. Life in the literal sense.

"You had a good life, didn't you? That's why you didn't want Bella to become like you were."

"Yeah," he confirmed. "In that time, things weren't exactly nice, but my family was an exception. In our house, there was no sign of financial problems. My mom and dad didn't marry because their parents decided for them. No, they were in love. And both loved and cared about me. They always made sure I grew up healthy and happy, not forgetting to teach me good manners and giving me a decent education. Most only children wanted a brother or sister, but I was pretty content with what I had. I had all the love I needed as it was."

"You had money?" _Seriously, hadn't he ever been poor?_

"My dad was a successful lawyer in Chicago," he explained.

"That's why you have its picture in your room."

"Yeah."

"City boy," I mumbled.

We were silent for the next minutes, just watching the trees shaking and the sun falling. It would have felt good, if it wasn't for the damn metal seat that was hurting my ass. I got up and sat on the floor, Indian-style, instead. The concrete wasn't much better than the swing, but whatever. A few seconds later, Edward came and sat next to me. It mustn't have been nice for his perfect ass (don't even dare to judge my pervert thoughts) either. I noticed he was shivering. It was still cold, but not so much, it was just windy. I approached him.

"Come here," he did as I said and put my arm around his shoulders. He leaned into me automatically. It was twilight now and if I thought it felt amazing to simply watch it, it didn't compare to how it felt to watch it with Edward in my arms. It had only started a few hours ago, but I hadn't ever felt more at peace my whole life. I stared at the beauty of the vivid green forest as well as the colorful now clear sky.

"It's beautiful," I murmured, since we had both grown to enjoy the silence or the low talking, so we could hear what other wonderful sounds Mother Nature offered. Edward nodded against my neck. "Better?" I asked, referring to his body's temperature. I already knew the answer, he was warm, but I just needed to know how he _felt_.

"Uh-uh," I smiled and rested my cheek on his head.

We stayed there for an hour or so. Edward checked his watch, saying it was now seven o'clock. He decided it was time to go home so we got up to leave. We had no idea where we were, so it would be better if we went how we came. However, above the mass of the trees, I could see the top of a big building I had noticed when I parked his Aston. Oh, the Aston…Anyway, it would take a fucking long time and would cost Edward aching feet if we went the same way, so I suggested we used a different path, going through the woods. I found a thin trail which we followed and, after a couple of minutes, we reached a small library. Edward eyed it curiously and so did I: there were Quileute books. Now, I wasn't really interested since I already knew all the legends, but he liked reading so I asked him if he wanted to take a look.

"It's getting pretty late. Maybe next time."

We followed a dark alley that lead to a desert street. Edward's breathing was coming in short gusts of air and I became worried. Was he in pain or something? I asked if he was okay, but I didn't get much. It was always the same answer: "I'm fine." Once we reached the street, he had started hyperventilating and I couldn't avoid it anymore. I had to know what was going on.

I didn't get to do so, because the moment I put my hand on his shoulder he jumped and took a step back.

"Edward? What's going on?"

"No, no," he shook his head, his expression of pure horror, as he slowly backed away. "Not again," he mumbled, mostly to himself. And then he started running.

I have to tell you: he's fucking fast even as a human. I ran after him, because I knew he wouldn't stop until he got lost or something happened. But it wasn't needed. This time, I blessed his semi-clumsiness, because if he hadn't tripped I wouldn't have caught him. I kneeled beside him to see if he was alright. Well, of course, he wasn't alright. I was trying to see if he was physically alright. As he turned his face to me, the fear filled his eyes again and, still on the ground, he tried to move away from me.

"No, please," he cried, shaking his head. "Don't. Not again," he sobbed. "Not again."

It didn't take too much to figure out what was going on. At first, it scared the shit out of me not knowing why he was reacting like this so suddenly, but now I had to calm myself and then figure out a way to bring him back. _Symptom 2 –_panic attack. I had no idea what I should do, I had never gone through this nor had I ever witness it. And as you know, I wasn't a fucking professional in psychology. But I had to figure out a way to end this situation. I tried to take his hand in mine, but he flinched. I knew I was taking a big risk and would possibly make things much worse, but I had to try. I took his face in m hands, obliging him to look at me.

"Look at me," I ordered as he grabbed my wrists, trying to push me away. "Edward, look at me! It's me, man. It's Jacob. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm not going to do anything. It's just me, it's okay."

He refused to give in at first, but slowly he managed to recognize me and calm himself until the point he was barely panting and simply trembling.

"Jake?" he choked out.

"It's me," I hugged him as he sobbed into my chest. "It's just me," I caressed his hair. "It's okay."

But was it really?

**AN: It's up, finally *sigh* Thank you for reading and reviewing and also for adding my stories to your favorites. If there is an orthographic mistake or something like that please let me know. This chapter was longer than I expected and I have to admit I loved it. It was more difficult to write than the others though. Next one will probably take a week or so before I post and it will be a lot more dramatic than this one.**


	4. The car's name's Sylvia

JPOV

Since the incident in Port Angeles Edward hadn't said a word all the way home and I was starting to get worried. Not that I should; it's pretty understandable being unusually quiet after you have a panic attack. Witnessing it first hand was the hardest thing I had ever done. Not only was horrible the state he was in, but it had also hurt my feelings that he had been afraid of me. He had thought I was _him_. I still didn't know why he had reacted like _that_ in that street. I hadn't stopped trying to remind myself this was normal behavior and it had nothing to do with me, but something in the back of my head told me what I had seen in his eyes earlier would haunt me till the day I died. Fear, complete and utter fear. It was heartbreaking. No mullet or Mrs. Eye-Fucker to distract me. Tragedy had struck again and now Edward and I had to prepare ourselves for what still was to come: the Cullens were home. And we had to face this; we couldn't run away. And it wouldn't be pretty.

The Cullen women had taken Rose's M3; I had figured that out for myself. The red car was in the driveway, as well as Carlisle's Mercedes. I could see light from inside the house, but not a single sound could be heard, except for the forest's lovely natural music.

I parked the engine and turned it off. We were both silent for a minute or so, before I spoke up, quietly:

"Are you okay?"

"No," he scoffed, surprising me. This time he was being truthful and for that I was grateful. This wasn't the answer I was used to hear from him. He never wanted people to worry about him and I knew why – he thought he didn't deserve it. I could read him like an open book. I haven't seen his poker-face since he had turned human. However, as I had said before, we had to face this and we couldn't stay in the same spot forever.

"You ready?" he slowly turned his head to me and sighed. He looked tired. Did he really have the strength to go through this now?

"Let's do this," he opened the door and hopped out. I did the same, as he started climbing the stairs to the front porch, taking his keys out of his pocket. I stood next to him as he opened the door to his house with a trembling hand. As I suspected, everyone was home, waiting for him (just him, of course, I wasn't exactly welcome). They were all in the living room and I wrinkled my nose in disgust because of the smell. I swear I don't do it on purpose, but they fucking stink. Barbie was pacing back and forth; the sound of her expensive high heels hitting the floor echoed in the house. Emmett sat on the head of the couch, having already given up of trying to calm her. Jasper was sitting on an armchair, with Alice on his lap who was staring at nothing with an empty look. None of them gave away their feelings. Esme, though, was easy to read at the moment. What I saw gave me chills – she was clearly upset and defeated. As if I didn't know what it meant…She wasn't upset with Edward; no, she was upset with Carlisle who kept casting her quick regretful glances. Whatever he had decided or said wasn't something we would be relieved at hearing. Doc turned his full attention to his human son, who shifted his weight from foot to foot and contracted and distended his fists, while looking everywhere but his father's eyes.

"I've explained everything to them," he started, making me clench my fists in anger. How could he explain something when he didn't even know what had happened? Bastard. "As you know we couldn't hide this. You know the rules of this family," Wow, they had rules, too. Sweet.

"How could you do this to her?" a piercing voice that sounded like bells said; it was unmistakably Pixie's, who got up in a second, eyeing her brother with anger, disappointment, hurt and even a hint of disgust. "I thought you loved her," Of course she had to defend her dear friend. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. And of course the first conclusion they would achieve would be that he cheated on her. My mouth ached to spill the truth.

"I do love her," he affirmed in disbelief. It made my heart stir a bit in sadness, but I let it pass, knowing I loved her, too. Not in the same way he did, but I loved her.

"Oh, yeah? Are you sure? Do you want to think a little bit about it? Do I need to remind you why I doubt you?" There were no arguments from him. What kind of excuse could he use without telling them what had occurred? "Bella has always been loyal to you and in return you betray her!" I felt my anger growing with her wrong accusation. Jasper, the empath, sensed this and used his gift to calm me down while frowning in confusion.

The annoying noise of Rosalie's pacing had finally stopped by now, thankfully and she then took a step forward.

"You always get what you want, don't you?" she said. "Not only what you want, but also what I want."

"Rose, don't go there," Esme warned.

What she wants…What the fuck? Did she want to be sexually abused? Oh, right, sorry, they're not on the same page we are. Freaks.

"So," Emmett spoke up. "Who's the guy?" I could see he was trying to lighten the mood, but wasn't being successful. Not a bit. And he was conscious of that. He was uncomfortable, undecided.

Rosalie rolled her eyes and everyone else in the room shook their heads. But when her face turned thoughtful and then shocked, I feared what he said made something click in her mind. She laughed without humor. God, she sounded so much like a pretty evil witch.

"It's him, isn't he?" she pointed with her index finger to me. "Of all of them you had to choose not only a guy, but also your mortal enemy. Gosh, Edward, could you screw things up more?" the bitch was enjoying herself while provoking him. I could feel my temper getting the better for me as my body shook and ached to turn into a wolf. Jasper managed to calm me down, reducing the shaking to light trembling.

"Rosalie, that's enough," Carlisle silenced her, but even him seemed skeptical. Could this get even worse or confusing? It made sense, in their point of view, of course it did: Doc gets a call from one of the wolf pack saying his son needs his help. He comes home to find them together in their room and when he does some tests, he verifies the one he turned into a vampire is now human because he's pregnant. He also knows the person's semen is a shape-shifter's. He puts two and two together and _viola_: the guy who got his son knocked up was none other than me. Perfect, just perfect. "Is this true?" he asked us.

I was at a loss of words. This was just turning too complicated. We couldn't say anything in return. The smallest reply could give away too much and I knew Edward wouldn't risk doing that. But right now, though, it wasn't just about him; I was involved as well. _Come on, just think about something._ Before my brain could start working, his warm hand grabbed my arm as he started walking quickly. What can I say? His tendency to run away is sometimes helpful. None of the Cullens moved to stop or follow us. They simply stood still as statues as he climbed the stairs, forcefully dragging me along. I couldn't quite bring myself to complain…

Once we were inside his room he headed for his wardrobe, grabbing a black hoodie, the red sweater he had worn this morning, a pair of black skinny jeans and a pair of trendy sneakers, shoving them into his grey schoolbag.

"What're you doing?" I questioned and his moves, which had been urgent like he was in a hurry, stopped all together. He looked up at me.

"I think it's pretty obvious," That's all he said before searching for another backpack and putting some other clothes in there. His hands, which had been once very graceful and gentle, possessing an incredible strength though, weren't careful with his apparel that looked as if it had just gotten out of a washing machine. He opened a low drawer and kneeled. He remained in that position for a few seconds and when I saw him wiping his right eye I knew at least a single tear had been shed and whatever was in there was its cause. He took an old small and worn-out notebook, placing it inside the backpack.

"Are you sure about this? I mean…where are you staying?"

"Yeah, I'm sure," he stopped to look at me and I felt my stomach not when I saw the emotions swimming in his eyes. This pained him. His family was important to him. He looked away. "I c-can't stay here anymore, okay? It's not just the comments…You saw it, you saw the way Dad looked at me. I can't…I can't bear it," his voice broke. Before I could move an inch to comfort him he had moved to his wardrobe where he took some other belongings as well as some money (yeah, I realize it was a lot of money). He grabbed the two backpacks, putting the grey one on his shoulders and the black one on his right shoulder, the other strip hanging at his side. Before he could head to the door Esme came in, closing it behind her. I'm sure that if she could cry she would do so right now. Edward froze dead on his tracks. They looked at each other with the same expression that showed neither of them wanted this. "Mom…" he whispered and in the second she was in his arms, both hugging each other as if their lives depended on it. I knew it was rude to not give them privacy, but I couldn't take my gaze out of the mother/son scene in front of me. Esme finally released him, but couldn't keep her hands to her as she took his face in them.

"Will you be okay?" she asked in her usual motherly tone. Gosh, she puts Angelina Jolie to shame.

"I'll be fine," he nodded and, after a few seconds of mutual stare, he embraced her again, resting his forehead on her shoulder. "I love you," his voice cracked.

"Oh, sweetie, I love you, too," she caressed his reddish hair.

He left the room without another word and I started following him when she pointed to me with her finger to come closer. I did.

"I don't know what your intentions are," she started. She didn't seem like she was going to give me "the speech", so I waited and listened. "I don't know if you and him really…" she looked down, not being able to say it and then raised her head to stare at me with a serious expression. "Both of you committed a terrible mistake, but I don't want to judge neither of you," she touched my cheek and we both cringed with the difference of temperature. "Just promise me you'll take care of him."

"I promise," she hugged me and, although her vampire scent was intently present, I found also some comfort in her other smell: fresh and clean, with a hint of chocolate cookies after getting out of the oven. She smelled like a real mother, like a housewife.

I gave her one last hopeful look before leaving the room and went downstairs, not taking my eyes off of my feet. All the Cullens would be able to see would be my back. I wouldn't risk losing control and lashing out at them. Their presence repulsed me as it was; I definitely didn't need to see their stupidly perfect faces.

As soon as I entered the living room, Edward opened the door. He, like me, didn't look back. But I was sure he was forcing himself to do so. I was only one step from the front exit, when Rosalie's harsh comment rang in the house like thunder:

"Yeah, go, mutt. Go and take that human bastard with you. I'm sure you two will have a great future together!" I, without a pit of shame and not turning back, showed her my middle finger. There was a collective gasp, but I didn't give a shit what they thought about my gesture and continued walking away, following Edward to his car, as he hopped in and slammed the door. I wasn't sure if he wanted to go alone, but after a minute and he hadn't started the engine, I realized he was waiting for me so I indulged him, with all my pleasure.

As soon as my two feet were inside the car he sped off, completely leaving the house. Before I knew it, we were on the road leading to Forks. I sincerely understood this was a huge deal and maybe he was in no condition to think about this at the moment, but my old man was probably wondering where the hell I was and I haven't given him the simplest clue. We both needed to figure something out; I couldn't let my dad have a heart attack but I couldn't leave Edward alone either.

"Where are you planning to stay at?" I asked, looking at him. He really didn't seem to be in condition to think about the subject right now. His elbow rested on the awn of the open window, as his fist covered his mouth. The other hand gripped the steer wheel so tightly his knuckles had turned completely white. Some tears had fallen and were starting to dry off, but his eyes were still glistening.

"Stop the car," I demanded, gently though, and we were both shoved forward, our seatbelts restraining us from hitting the glass with our heads, as he stopped the car abruptly. The road was completely desert, no car passed by. I hopped out and went to his side. Realizing what I wanted to do, he opened his door and got out. We exchanged positions, leaving him on the passenger side. He curled into a ball, knees to his chest as he rested his chin on them, staring ahead, expressionlessly.

I had to consider our options. I didn't want him to be on his own; even if he was safe I knew I wouldn't be able to relax. I had to go home though. Sam had probably explained to Billy what had occurred, but that didn't explain why I hadn't returned yet. I had no phone with me and even if I asked Edward for his, I couldn't remember the phone number of the house. Where would he go anyway? To a hotel? No fucking way in hell. I wouldn't let that happen. To a friend's house? I mentally snorted. What friend? His BF was in Alaska and I was sure his schoolmates didn't give a shit about him. _Mutual feelings, assholes!_Then it clicked: he was no longer a vampire; that had to somehow change things. My father was a stubborn person, but he would certainly understand. Also, he no longer lived with the Cullens. That was it. I was taking him to my house. Here goes nothing, I thought, as I started the car, heading to La Push.

I wouldn't dare to go back now, I was too close for that, but my heart beat wildly in my chest as I neared the Reservation. What would Dad say? What if he did not allow Edward there? Would he feel comfortable in my room? What would he think of my small house comparing to his mansion? Jesus, I was starting to sound like a girl. However, there was still one thing I had to think about: for how long would he stay? I didn't mind a bit. He could stay for as long as he liked and I would feel awful once he did go. Knowing him, his staying would be brief. As if he would let other people take care of him.

This would work better in the day light. I knew it was inappropriate, but I couldn't stop daydreaming about my mates' faces when I parked the Aston Martin in front of my house. They would drool…Focus, Jacob, focus!

By the time I turned off the car, Edward had fallen asleep. I considered waking him up, but he seemed really out of it and I knew he was exhausted. I still had to talk to my dad about him living in our place and I didn't even know if he was awakened. I didn't even know what time it was. I could hear voices and laughter from inside the house so I figured he wasn't asleep yet and he wasn't alone. _Right, let's do this._

"Dad?" I called out as I entered the house. They were all in the living room (if you could called it a living room), sitting on the couch, looking at the small screen which showed some crap old series. He turned to me, his face looking relieved and also a bit angry. Sam and Emily took their eyes off of the TV to look at me. Sam was giving me a questioning look, probably wondering about Edward's condition and also where I had been all this time. I sat on an armchair, opposite to the sofa, resting my elbows on my knees and sighed.

"Where the hell have you been, son?"

I found myself struggling to figure out a way to start the conversation and tell him the truth.

"I've told him what happened," Sam confirmed what I had thought earlier. I nodded, gratefully, because things wouldn't be as complicated now. I knew Edward wouldn't like the idea of my father knowing, but we couldn't do anything now.

Billy carried sympathy in his eyes. Maybe it wouldn't be so difficult after all…

I cleared my throat.

"Does she know?" I asked Sam, referring to Emily. He nodded and I cringed. Edward wouldn't be happy at all. "Ok…I…" I still had to tell them what had occurred next and our new discoveries. "Edward's pregnant," I blurted out and they all looked at me in shock. "It's complicated to explain…He has turned human so he can carry the child," I continued. Their eyes didn't widen any less. I started fidgeting with my hands. "He's outside,…sleeping," I pointed with my thumb to the door. Sam nodded, but the other two were still too stunned to move a muscle, "He refuses to tell his family what happened to him, so they all came to the conclusion that he cheated on Bella," I took a deep breath. "He couldn't bear the staring and the comments so he left," this time Emily frowned and shook her head softly. "He's got no place to go," At this, Billy seemed to come out of his daze and furrowed his eyebrows. I think he knew what I was going to say. "Can he live here, dad? Just for a while until…I don't know…I know you don't like the Cullens and he's not even supposed to be here at all because of the treaty, but I just thought that now that he's human…"

"What kind of cruel creature do you think I am?" my dad interrupted me. "Bring the boy in," he said with a welcoming smile. Does that mean he can live here? _Yeah, take that, bitch!...Sorry…_ I grinned and, without thinking, offered my fist for him to bump with his own. He shook his head and muttered something that sounded like "kids", before bumping fists with me.

"Sam, will you help me?" Truth was: I wanted him to see the car. Yeah, I knew it wasn't mine but the fact that I drove it had to have some meaning, right? Besides, he could always help locking it and opening the door to the house, because I may be a werewolf, but I'm not fucking Superman.

Nothing could take my smug face when we were both outside. Sam was gawking at the precious vehicle.

"I drove it," I informed, taking the special pleasure of rubbing it in his face.

"It's not yours though," he retorted.

"Of course it's not mine, you idiot!"

"It's his, isn't it?" he asked, referring to the sleeping boy inside the car. I nodded.

I picked Edward up bridal style and he leaned his head into my shoulder, sighing. Only now I understood what a prick I was: I fucking left him outside unprotected. What if something had happened? As much as I wanted to, I couldn't keep these thoughts away from my mind. I was afraid I was becoming paranoid, but I couldn't help it. As I passed the living room Billy looked at Edward with sympathy. He had all the rights to do so. Edward did look fragile, even in his unconscious state. From the confident leech we all knew to the scared boy in my arms there was a very big difference, although I thought it was just outside. There are times it is needed a tragic event so things can change for the better after it. He had always been breakable behind the indestructible body and mask. Just now it became much more noticeable. _Just don't tell him that, 'cause I'm sure he'll get pissed._

I laid him on my bed and took off his shoes, accidently brushing my index finger on his foot. He made a soft sound that I could only describe as a lovely giggle. _**Ticklish? Aw**__…God, you girly bitch, shut up!_

I grabbed a wool blanket from my closet and covered him with it. I casted him one last glance, noticing that he stirred lightly.

"Jake," he murmured. A bright smile filled my lips when he said my name. "The car's name's Sylvia," at first I had no idea what he was talking about but then I remembered about his Aston and the way he treated it…or her. Sylvia…is a pretty sweet name, I thought.

"How is he?" my dad asked as I sat on the couch. I had brought some blankets and a pillow, planning to sleep right there. I shrugged in response.

"Dreaming about cars," I said and he chuckled. My dad had always been hateful and distrustful towards the Cullens, he had always been a believer of the legends and had respect for our ancestry. However, when I needed their help, they freely accepted to help me and Dad was truly grateful. Now that one of them was going through a bad time it was our duty to help him, 'cause I hadn't fucking forgotten the night he assisted Carlisle after I had been attacked by a newborn, much less his expression of genuine concern.

"The pack is trying to find out who did this to him," Dad informed. At this, I felt my blood boil in anger and my ears fuming. I would gladly kill that motherfucker. "It was one of us," he whispered.

"I know," my voice was strained. "But I don't care. Not a bit."

"Jacob, you can't kill a shape-shifter."

"And he can't go around raping people either!" I retorted loudly and stood up, scolding myself after and then sitting down. Dad sighed. There wasn't really an argument against this. And I was decided to murder the guy, nothing could stop me. Once I found who the fuck he was I would track him down and rip his head off. But there was still something I could not understand… "Dad, there's something I don't understand and maybe you're able to explain it to me. Edward didn't want this, obviously. He probably tried to defend himself. How can one of us be stronger than a vampire?"

Billy sighed again and looked up at me.

"We have a theory. When you said the kid was pregnant it was confirmed. There are a few legends about the Incubus; they…"

"I know," I cut him off. "Edward told me. He's an Incubus," he nodded.

"As you know, Imprint exists so we can carry the genes. There are also a few legends of our tribe about members of the pack imprinting on cold ones…Incubus or Succubus, to be precise. It's possible since they can carry children. It's very rare, but it has happened before. Anyone's imprint is always weaker than the one who imprinted, no matter the circumstances."

"So…are you saying the guy who…" I gulped. "… raped Edward imprinted on him?"

"Yes, we believe so. But these are not healthy imprints. The shape-shifter usually becomes obsessed with the vampire, enough to hurt him. In these cases, they are not meant to be together."

"That little piece of shit is fucking crazy."

"Language, young man!" Dad scolded.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"You sleepin' here, kid?"

"Yeah."

"Goodnight, then."

"You want help?"

"No, son, I'll be fine, thank you," I watched as he wheeled himself to his room and murmured a small "Goodnight", before lying on the couch and closing my eyes, welcoming the dreamless sleep.

**AN: Five pages less than usual, but I think this chapter should be separated from the next one, so forgive me. IMPORTANT: I'd like to ask you and I'm counting on you to let me know if you want me to give you a small preview in the end of each chapter. Reviews make Edward less traumatized and Jacob more horny, so please don't forget to do it xD I also want to ask you (if you don't mind) to go to my profile and read the summaries of my future stories and tell me which one you want me to write first. I will only write one at a time, so keep in mind that I will only do it once I finish this one. I'm sorry that this chapter is much smaller but I promise there will be a good surprise for the next one :D I know you all know it, but I think I should say (and it's stupid I'm only doing that now): all characters belong to Stephenie Meyer…unfortunately XP**


	5. Welcome to LP

**A/N.: Ok, so, as some of you know, I'll write short previews in the end of each chapter from now on. The author notes will be in the beginning, because there are people who don't want to read the previews. Keep voting for the future stories, please. About this chapter: it's Edward's point of view, so you can see what he really thinks about all of this, because you know he likes to suffer silently. Besides, I haven't made one in a while and I really miss getting into my favorite character's mind. My beta pointed it out, so I feel like this needs to be said: this Edward is a little different from the one in the books, because I believe he is too reserved in front of Bella. There's no need to point out the mistakes when you review anymore, because I have someone to do it for you now. If you want to read the preview read what's below the chapter, if not just don't look at it. There's gonna be a small surprise just before the end of the chapter and I suggest you to listen to the Water for Elephants' soundtrack (the name of the song is "Jacob sees Marlena") while reading it. So…enjoy and leave a review. Thank you.**

EPOV

I woke up in a familiar room. I had the feeling I had been there before, but I couldn't quite figure out when or why. It was small as was the bed I was lying on. There was a wool blanket covering me and I sniffed it, finding comfort in its scent and refusing to get up. It had a relaxing smell, like fresh wood and pines and somehow, it also smelled a bit spicy. It was a manly odor. Now, I didn't usually find comfort in a man's scent, except Jacob's and…Dad's.

Dad.

Even my normally forgiving and understanding father had judged me and jumped to conclusions. Carlisle, the man that had forgiven me for killing and contradicting everything he'd taught me, didn't hesitate in making wrong assumptions. He had given me the opportunity to explain, but what could I say besides the truth? I couldn't tell the truth, I wouldn't. I prefer having my family thinking badly of me to pitying me. I didn't want their faces of sympathy reminding me that I was a victim, that I was weak.

However, this time I didn't blame myself. Enough with that shit. I had done that too many times; I had always tortured myself throughout the years. What they did had no excuse. That wasn't how our family functioned. Not initially anyway; not before I met Bella. We were loyal to each other, but when we failed, we didn't judge, we found a way to solve things. I thought Bella was as much a part of the family as I was. I was wrong. She was more than that. She had replaced me. I had been his favorite. I had been Dad's favorite; his first. Then, she came along. I thought it was everything so easy and she got me so wrapped up around her finger that I didn't notice how my emotions changed. I hadn't been in love with her. I had been completely obsessed. Thinking about it now made me sick. Love was supposed to be a good thing, something that made you happy. I had been more miserable than happy with her. She was like a black hole, dragging me and my family into it. I had escaped, but my family was still there. It was _their_choice now. Although I was pretty sure they chose her.

I wasn't going to lie – I felt betrayed. I had believed they thought better of me.

I had to exclude Esme though. I hoped I could keep in contact with her. She hadn't judged me like the others. She hadn't ever judged anyone. I couldn't be more grateful for her love and loyalty towards me.

Then there was Jacob, the most unexpected person to help me. He understood. _Well, that's because he knows._It had never crossed my mind he would comfort me though. And I couldn't complain. I was actually thankful, very much so. I had the feeling that if it was someone else I wouldn't open so easily. He had a certain aura around him that made me feel safe. Many would think I should fear him, because he resembled _him,_but fortunately, Jacob hadn't inherited anything from that monster, besides _his_blood and Alpha genes.

There were also my growing feelings for him which, surprisingly, hadn't scared me yet. I've never felt like this towards another male, let alone a werewolf. But he was an exception, because he_was_ amazing.

Every single thing about him was amazing. His personality, his strength, his hazelnut eyes capable of melting your entire being, his beautiful, smooth and flawless russet-colored skin, his full dark lips that fascinated me to no end and made me want to kiss them, his perfect white teeth building an astonishing smile and his soft black hair… He was stunning.

Thinking about him made me realize where I was: his room. I had been there before to help Carlisle when Jacob was hurt. His screams of pain echoed in my head and I cringed, trying to clear it. Even when I thought I hated him it had been heartbreaking. Someone so kind-hearted like him shouldn't endure such agony.

The room was simple and way smaller than mine. The bed was next to the wall which had a rectangular window that gave a good view of the "backyard" and the forest behind it. I noticed his Rabbit was parked next to where I could guess was the garage. There was a shabby wooden wardrobe on the opposite side of the bed. On my right side was a bedside table with a lamp on it. There was a small red oval rug in the middle of the room's floor.

I felt a brief sharp pain in my stomach and hissed through my teeth. It only lasted a few seconds, but it was enough to remind me of another important deal: my little one. He (or she) had certainly caused a lot of trouble already. If I wasn't pregnant it would be easier to deal with my family, but when it came to what that bastard had done to me, he/she had helped…a lot. It's nice to know something good came out of this. Don't get me wrong, the traumatizing occurrence was the worst thing that had ever happened to me; worse than my transformation into an immortal. If I could go back in time, I would have locked myself at home, I would have done anything in my power so _he_couldn't get his hands on me, even knowing that, if he did, I would become human and have a child. But I couldn't change the past. There weren't many good things in my life or existence, but, of all of them, the fact that I was going to be a daddy in nine months was the best. It was just a seed inside me, but I had already become attached to it. I loved him/her, my little angel with no defined gender.

I felt tense and scratchy, because I had slept in my normal clothes and I also felt like having a shower. Maybe I was just being paranoid, but now I had human needs and I had to worry about my hygiene. Everything about my new human life was still a bit foreign to me, not having eaten, slept or cried since 1918. I should know by now some simple things, because of my no longer resident gift and having lived among humans for so long. Truth was: there were a lot of things I couldn't remember, because a human brain isn't as capable as a vampire's (well, except Emmett's). When I was a vampire, I could remember every single detail about what I saw, heard and smelled. Now I hardly remembered simple situations, but the most important events were vivid. And unfortunately the most recent haunted me.

I was suffering more than I was letting on and I knew that, but I hoped I was the only one. Jacob worried about me enough as it was, I did not want to give more reasons to. I could still feel _his_rough hands on my thighs, hurting and preventing me from escaping. I shuddered at the memory, trying my best to not have another panic attack. _His fast, hard thrusts._I shook my head fiercely to clear the image out of my head. _The agony it caused me._I bit my lip from screaming for him to stay away from me, as the sudden image of his naked body pressing against mine flashed through my mind for a second. _The blood dripping out of…_ It was too sickening and I felt a brief urge to throw up.

"Stop it," came my strangled whisper. "He's not here. He's not here," I breathed out a sigh relief as the fact stamped on my mind. I needed to get up and move; do something and entertain myself, otherwise I wouldn't be able to keep these thoughts at bay.

I decided to see who else was up. I knew Jacob didn't need to sleep as much as an average human, but I figured he was probably tired. And Billy…

Billy.

Jacob had probably taken me here, but had his father approved? It seemed unlikely, but thinking better about it, the last couple of events had also been shocking, to say the least. Billy was a good man, I knew that much, but one of the things I hadn't forgotten about my previous life were his glares every time he saw me. I swear if that shit could perforate I would be cheese for Mr. Ratatouille by now.

It would be easier if he wasn't sleeping, at least I wouldn't have the feeling I was being rude for walking around someone's house without their permission. It made me feel uncomfortable, but once again, maybe it was just me being paranoid.

The silence I had grown to love was now heavy and suffocating. I felt alone and, at the same time, like someone was watching my every move. Seems impossible, but that was what I sensed. Jacob was sleeping peacefully on the couch and when I say I felt bad I mean very fucking bad. He fucking slept on the couch so I could use his bed. _That is just…so cute._Gosh, I sound like a girl.

I couldn't help but observe him. He really was beautiful. I watched his eyelids fluttering as he dreamt. Good dreams, I hoped. My legs started hurting after…well, I don't know really how long, but I figured it was quite a long while. And after another while not as long as the previous, they started shaking. _Seriously, what's up with those bitches?_ Before I knew it, my knees had given up and I hit the floor with a loud thud.

Well, of course I hadn't thought about biology. Not only had I turned human, I had also tuned into a retard. Just great! I really needed to practice this shit more. I had used some human habits along the years, but I wasn't used to practice them when I was alone. _Now, remember, Edward: when your legs start hurting, sit the fuck down!_

Thankfully, I hadn't done any self damage. However, I had woken up Jacob and, probably, his father as well.

As I predicted, Jacob was right by my side, helping me to get back on my feet. _Human, pregnant, retard, invalid…what more?_

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked. Many would think I found it annoying that he asked that so many times, but the truth was I appreciated it. It was good to finally have someone who cared about me. I didn't like to worry him too much, though.

"Fine," I mumbled, annoyed at myself. Jacob didn't look too convinced and concerned. This time, I got annoyed at him as well – I mean it.

"What happened?"

"I forgot to sit down and stood in the same position for too long."

At this he chuckled and I rolled my eyes.

"What were you doing standing there anyway?"

I lowered my eyes, embarrassed. I could feel my cheeks burning up.

"I was kind of…uh…watching you sleep," I prepared myself for some kind of outburst, but he didn't say anything, so I looked up to find him grinning. Not a mocking grin, it was a happy one, so I smiled slightly in return.

"So, what do you feel like doing today?"

_First, have a shower. Second, have breakfast, 'cause I'm fucking starving. Third, cry and scream for the rest of the day._ _Sounds like a good plan, doesn't it?_I shrugged.

"What about going to the beach? It's sunny today," he frowned a little, confused. "Surprisingly," he mumbled. I couldn't really refuse. I couldn't remember the last time I had gone to the beach.

"Yeah, sure."

Hot water wetted my skin and relaxed my tense muscles. Jacob had let me go first, which I didn't think was too fair, this was his house after all. I massaged my hair with the first shampoo I had found, it smelled like chocolate.

I looked down at my body. All the bruises had disappeared when I had turned human, in the physical sense, at least. It was just psychological, I knew it, but it didn't make it hurt any less. I still felt sore from the violent touch of _his_hands. Again, it was just psychological. No painkillers could ease my damaged mind. It was a complete wreck. And there were so many fucking thoughts running through it, shattering it even more. The first emotion was anger. I was mad at _him_for raping me, for hurting me, for being obsessed with me. Fuck, I was mad at him for making me see some reason! I was mad at my family for jumping to conclusions, for forgetting I was their brother/son, for judging me. I was mad at myself for not being able to protect myself, for being a coward and running away from them, for not having the courage to tell the truth. And I was frustrated, because there was nothing I could do about it.

I slid down the wall, hugging my knees to my chest and sobbing like a small child. And I let the water wash away my pain.

Quickly drying myself, I grabbed my black skinny jeans and white V-neck T-shirt. I wore a dark green squared shirt over it and put on my Black Converse. I had brought enough clothes to make at least three outfits. I had grown to love sweatshirts, or maybe I liked them all along, but Alice always tortured me when I wore them. Well, now I say: fuck her. I never liked the clothes she chose for me anyway, I looked like an old man. Well, I was an old man, but in a teenager's body…fuck, you know what I mean. Or maybe it was just because I was pissed at her. Whatever. I didn't exactly consider myself an adult anymore. Maybe it was one of the things that had changed along with my body. I think I lost some of my maturity. The point was: I really liked sweatshirts. They were comfy, warm, covered your entire torso without failing an inch and mine always smelled good, because I asked Momma to wash them. She cared enough to use natural soap. My mom was the best! See what I was talking about? I really start sounding like a kid! And it wasn't that bad, to be honest. An antiquated and mature mind usually becomes boring at some point.

I casted a quick glance at my reflection in the mirror and smiled slightly at the new color of my eyes, although they were tinted with red from all the crying in the shower. They were my biological mother's eyes. They traveled down to a glass that was on the basin containing two toothbrushes and a toothpaste. I no longer had venom to burn the food particles that resided in my mouth, which meant: I had to go shopping. And I also had to buy some clothes. I wouldn't go to Port Angeles to do so though. I wouldn't put my foot on its ground for a long, long time. It brought back dark memories: the first, when I had saved Bella and the second, when I had a panic attack because I remembered it. _Oh, Bella, you don't know how lucky you are, you really don't._

I tried to tame my hair as best as I could, but to no avail. It looked like I had just gotten out of bed, sticking up to every direction. My fingers only made it worse, so I just let it that way. Even when I was a vampire, it had always been untidy and I couldn't remember anyone who had complained.

I really liked my new appearance, to be honest. A vampire's beauty is usually used to attract their prey – it disgusted me. It was too perfect, too inhuman. I smiled falsely, cursing myself for my ridiculous act, but noticed that my teeth didn't look sharp and scary anymore. It wasn't exactly the best of smiles, basically because it didn't reach my eyes and it wasn't perfect. Some of my lower teeth were a little bit misaligned. My canines weren't sharp or much longer anymore; they were almost the same size as the rest.

The freckles completed my ginger look and were also a reminder of my mother. Unfortunately, my skin shade didn't change much, going from ghostly white to milky white, but now I could get flushed and if I got under the sun, probably at least a bit tan.

I looked…normal. And I appreciated it. I'd never felt uncomfortable under so many dazed and loving stares. The last thing I wanted now was someone looking at me that way, like…like _he_did. Or still does. Maybe he was still out there, maybe he was close, watching my every move, maybe he would come back for me, maybe he would do it again…

Before I knew it, I had fallen on the floor, ignoring the pain in my knees as I did so. My breathing quickened and I found myself hyperventilating. Glimpses of _his_face kept traveling through my mind. I jumped when I felt _his_burning touch on my thigh, hurting my knees again as I toppled. I started feeling dizzy, my vision getting filled by black spots. _He's not here. It's just your mind playing tricks on you. Jacob will hear you. You don't want to worry him._ At this, Jacob's beautiful face contorted in concern made an appearance in my head and my newly beating heart that seemed to want to erupt through my chest until then slowed its pace. And then I realized: Jacob made it all better.

My skin was stained and puffy, my nose was red and my eyes were almost black. I hadn't cried to the point of sobbing, but it was enough to be noticeable afterwards. And my nose had also started producing this…liquid. _One single word for you: ew!_I quickly washed my face and grabbed a tissue to blow my nose.

"Are you okay?" _Here we go again._

"I'm fine, Jacob," I sighed, as I headed to the living room where he stood.

"'K, I'll just go and take a shower myself. I made some cereal for you," he pointed with his thumb to the kitchen. I nodded and he threw me a concerned look before disappearing into the bathroom.

Eating feels much, much better than drinking, I thought, as I sat by the small round table. Jacob had prepared a bowl with some unidentified cereal, which tasted pretty good, actually. However, if you looked at it, mixed with milk, it kind of looked like vomit. Never judge something or someone by their appearance. How true could a statement be?

I put my phones on and turned on my silver iPod, deciding I needed some music to relax and keep my mind off of sad subjects. Music always helped. But not the depressing piano songs I wrote, nu-huh, not today. I decided I was in no mood for rock either, so I chose Florence and the Machine's Cosmic Love. I savored the song for the first minute, simply enjoying the energy it brought, but then I grew tired of the lyrics, so I changed to Paramore's Misery Business. Rock, but not the one I usually listened to. Besides, the lyrics were distracting enough.

_Whoa…well I never meant to brag_

_But I got him where I want him now_

Yes, I realize the song was about a guy, but I wasn't afraid to admit to myself I was gay, or bi, or…whatever. Jake was a dude and I thought of him as beautiful, but I also got aroused thinking about a girl. It's not like I cared anyway…

_Well, there's a million other girls who do it just like you_

_Looking as innocent as possible to get to who they want and what they like_

_It's easy if you do it right_

_Well, I refuse, I refuse, I refuse_

The song made me think about when I was back in high school and all those self-centered whores I had to face almost every day. They were disgusting, yes, but now I realize not everything about high school was bad. What I had always thought as a purgatory now seemed pretty endearing to me. I really felt pretty depressed now, as I realized what I had lost. If I had been human all along, I would have probably been some kind of messed up kid…in a good way. If such things as vampires and werewolves did not exist, I would pull the craziest stunts, drink till I dropped, play human Pacman in the mall. I really didn't know why, but I felt a sudden urge to hang out with people my age and have a good laugh with them. Was this natural?

_Just watch my wildest dreams come true_

_Not one of them involving…_

…bloodsucking monsters and giant wolves? Yeah, I'm watching, I'm imagining – I'm fucking daydreaming! I mean, who am I kidding? Within a few months I'll give birth to a child and…that's it. That's my fate and from then on that's my life. Or not, I thought. Maybe I could start building a nice life once this was over. Maybe I would be able to let someone in so they could help me. Now, I realized: I had my days counted; I no longer had eternity. I had started to grow up and in a few years, I would start getting older and older. And my maturity would become more expansive. This was just a phase, but it didn't mean I didn't have the right to enjoy it. I already had my plan: I would have this baby safely, then get a nanny so she could take care of him/her while I skated with my friends. It seemed pretty appealing to me. Of course, I wanted to be with my son/daughter, but I also wanted to enjoy a little of my last teenage years. I also wanted to go to college, graduate and get a job. I knew it would be extremely difficult while raising a kid, but I thought if I worked a little more than the others I would get there. There were a lot of single moms doing the same, right?

By the way, this thing of a guy getting pregnant was pretty fucked up. My world was all fucked up, but, unfortunately, that's where I belonged. The point was: people would think I was some kind of freak when they saw me. But I guess if I wore large clothes it wouldn't be too noticeable. The last months I wouldn't go out in public, though. It would be kind of impossible to hide. Strange…me with a belly. Nope, I couldn't imagine.

_Ignorance_by Paramore started playing. The song didn't bother me at all, I couldn't relate the lyrics to my life in any way, so I decided to enjoy Hayley's voice, as she sang with a hint of sarcasm and anger. I started singing lowly along.

_If I'm a bad person, you don't like me_

_Well, I guess I'll make my own way_

_It's the circle, a mean cycle_

_I can't excite you anymore_

I really didn't know why, but I liked to imagine the situation of the song. So, I pictured Hayley Williams singing this to…Mike? Yeah, that goes. They were…in a bar, with people all around them. She circled the jerk, with a sarcastic sweet smile on her face, speaking to him like he was a small child.

_Where's your gravel?_She pushes him, all traces of false affection gone, replaced by an angry scowl. Man, she looked hot when she was mad! _Your jury?_

_What's my offense this time?_

_You're not a judge but if you're gonna judge me_

_Well, sentence me to another life._

Well, _that_ I could relate to. I fucking hated those people who thought they were gods and had the right to judge. Example: Rosalie fucking Hale!

_Well you treat me just like another stranger_

_Well it's nice to meet you sir_

_I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out_

_Ignorance is your new best friend_

Apparently, she was mad at him for ignoring her, because he decided to hang out with his jock friends and completely treated her like shit. By the middle of the song, I was already internally screaming "Go, Hayley!" She seemed to be a pretty nice person and Mike…well, Mike was an idiot. I definitely hated him. I _hated_him. I wasn't _jealous._I wouldn't be jealous because of that bitch (and you know who I'm talking about). Nope. Not anymore. Call me childish, call me an idiot, but I since I'd left home I had immediately started hating her. It seemed impossible: not long ago I thought she was my everything, but now I truly despised her.

In the end of the song, Hayley punched the douche, breaking his nose and I made a party inside my head.

Suddenly, I felt a presence next to me. I kept my eyes down at first to hide the panic and make it disappear. I looked up, releasing a breath when I saw it was just Billy. He was looking at me with an amused expression. He said something but I only saw the movements of his mouth, because I still had my phones on, as some crap pop song started playing. Emmett had probably put it there just to annoy the hell out of me. I took them off.

"Sorry, I didn't hear you. Can you repeat that, please?"

"I said you have a very good voice."

Shit, had I woken him up?

"Sorry, was I singing too loud? Did I wake you up, sir?" he shook his head, chuckling a bit.

"No, kid, you weren't. But I'm guessing you were so distracted you didn't see me come in. I didn't want to interrupt you."

"Oh…" I said, embarrassed. The man had been there all along! "Uh…thanks," _Yeah, for not interrupting me._ I get really fucking pissed when they do that while I'm thinking. And holy shit, for letting me stay. I could hear Esme's voice scolding: _where are your manners, Edward Anthony?_ "Uh…thank you for letting me stay, sir. It was really nice of you."

"Nonsense, boy. When my Jacob needed, you and your creator were there to help. I believe it's time to show how thankful I am."

_Sure, you're really doing this just because of that and all. Not!_

"Is it because I'm human now?" I asked, skeptical. Really, if he was, I was ready to get out of that house in an instant. Judging someone just by what they are is unacceptable for me. He sighed and looked at me in the eye with a serious expression.

"I may not like your coven, but not enough to be that cruel to one of you," _Shit, I was getting confused._

"Wha…I mean, sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. I don't believe you're cruel, sir. It just…I-I don't understand."

"I know everything, kid. I know what happened."

I felt a lump in my throat.

"Who told you?" I could see myself trembling and breathing faster in anger.

"Sam did. He was there too when Jacob found you."

This made me realize there were more people who knew. I had noticed the presence of more members of the pack through the haze, but I didn't know who or how many.

"Who else knows?" I talked as quietly as possible, trying to keep my voice from cracking.

"No one else," he lied. He wasn't helping if he thought I was stupid. Not only did I have the urge to hide somewhere, but I was also getting pissed off at Jake's father.

"Don't lie. I know there were more people with Jacob in the woods."

"Leah, Quil and Jared…and Emily."

"Emily?" I questioned, confused. "She wasn't even the…"

And then it sank in. I'd always respected Sam, he'd seemed like a decent guy, but now I just wanted to rip his head off! And talking about accomplishing that wish: look who just arrived, in their fucking perfect gracefulness like nothing had happened, as I looked through the window.

I only realized what I was doing after I had walked out the door.

Do you know that feeling you have when you're about to do something you're still not sure of and have no idea what the outcome will be? Have you ever felt your blood traveling so fast through your arteries that you thought they would explode? Have you ever _heard_your heart beating? Have you ever felt capable… strong? Feels good, doesn't it? And, although I had felt it many times before, when you were _alive,_it was much, much better.

Sam and Paul were moving towards the house, both unaware of my presence as I walked to where they were. Sam was laughing at some silly joke Paul had probably told him. Before I knew it, my hands were shoving Sam's chest…hard. He stumbled a bit, confused, until he looked at me, with a puzzled and also smug expression.

"Who the hell do you think you are, huh?" When he didn't answer, I pushed him again. "Who the hell do you think you are to go around spreading my shit?" At this, a look of realization crossed his face. "So?" I raised my eyebrows.

"They had the right to know," he simply replied and my rage grew so much I was almost seeing red.

"They didn't have the right to know anything!" I shouted. "This is _my_shit! You have nothing to do with it."

"Have you forgotten who did this to you?" I shuddered at this, forcing myself to not remember _his_face. "He's one of us."

A bitter laugh escaped me.

"So what? You decide to tell your buddies how strong werewolves are? Strong enough to take down a bloodsucker? Oh, you must be proud!"

"I only told Billy and Emily."

I was relieved and yes, I felt a little bit like an idiot, for making wrong accusations, but the point was that he talked about my private subjects when it wasn't his place to do so. Billy didn't need to know. And Emily neither, for God sake! I hardly knew the girl!

"Well, guess what?" I screamed. "I didn't tell my fucking family!"My vision got blurry, but I refused to let the tears fall. "I didn't tell my own family, damnit!" I whispered, my voice breaking in the middle of the sentence.

"Hey," I turned my gaze to Paul, who had spoken and was looking at me with an odd amused expression. "Aren't you that mind-reading leech?"

I looked down at my feet.

"Not anymore," I mumbled.

"Is it possible for them to turn back?" he asked Sam, confused.

"It's complicated ," he sighed.

"How the hell…?"

"It's none of your business!" I snapped, cutting him off. He looked at me, visibly irritated and took a step forward. I realized we were merely inches from each other; he was only a bit taller than me, so I didn't have to look up.

"What are you gonna do about it, dickhead?"

"What are _you_gonna do, asshole?" I replied back. I honestly didn't know where so much courage had come from, but I didn't give a shit.

"Paul, back off," Sam tried to separate us, as he saw his friend trembling.

"Are you gonna hit me?" he asked, sarcastically.

"Don't push yourself, clown."

"Oh, no, I'm sorry, I forgot, you're human now, you'll have to call your sparkling vamp buddies to help you."

With that, something inside me just snapped and, faster than I thought it was possible for me, my fist had connected with his jaw. Yes, it hurt and I was sure it would bruise slightly, but, damn, it was worth it!

"I told you it was none of your business," I said with a wry smile and turned my attention to Sam. "And the same goes for you. You're not more than anyone else. You're not even an Alpha, but if you were, it wouldn't change a bit: as I said before this is _my_shit. You're in no position to deal with it. And in the end, you're just Sam fucking Uley."

And with that, I turned around and started walking away, leaving a dumbfounded Sam and a very pissed Paul behind. Maybe I had acted impulsively, maybe I had exaggerated, but what's done is done and there's no turning back. I had always had problems controlling my anger issues and not once had I been afraid. I had been indestructible. I was pretty conscious I could get hurt now and that I should be more careful, but damn, it felt so good.

Imagine my surprise when I saw Jacob standing there grinning like an idiot. I wondered how much he had seen and why he hadn't done anything. Not that I objected.

"Man, you got balls," he said, coming out of his daze.

"Well, duh, that's why my name's Edward, not Edwina."

"Ready to go?" I nodded, noticing he wore a plain dark blue T-shirt and denim shorts and for that I was grateful, because that shit of going around half-naked bothers me…a lot. "Can we take your car?" I would have laughed at the way he asked, but decided against it. Instead, I nodded and let him drive. I guess we could call repayment for…everything, basically. His slowness annoyed me a bit. Yeah, I did realize he wasn't going that slow, but I was used to surpass the limits. Old habits never die.

I could hear the faint sound of waves crashing as we reached the parking lot. The view was definitely beautiful, but through a glass it wasn't the same, so I hopped out. A light morning breeze made my air go wilder and I simply stood there, watching the activity of the powerful ocean. The sky's reflex on the water made it midnight blue.

"Welcome to LP," Jacob said with a triumphant smile. I frowned, confused. LA made sense. Well, not really, not here. "La Push," he clarified. _Great, I'm really becoming a retard._

I took off my shoes and socks, so they wouldn't get filled with sand as soon as we reached it.

"So…" I decided to start a conversation as we started walking. "Did you see the whole scene?"

"I was getting dressed when I heard shouting, so I decided to see what was going on."

"Were you enjoying it?" I smirked.

"No," he said, looking suddenly ashamed. I chuckled.

"Liar."

"Yeah, ok, I was," he confessed. "But seriously, man, I have seen many people messing with Paul, but Sam is a different deal, y'know. _No one_messes with him. That guy really needs someone to put him in his place."

"You don't seem to like him very much."

"It's not…He sometimes gets ahead of himself, like he is better than us. And I hate that shit," I nodded.

"Yeah, me too."

"I really liked what you said to him."

"I just…flipped out. When your dad said Sam had told him about…you know…I was already pissed, but when he said Emily knew…I couldn't hold it anymore. He didn't have anything to do with it. It wasn't his place to tell."

"I was scared as hell one of them would snap, y'know. You should be more careful."

"I know," I nodded. "I sometimes can't control it."

"Really?" he furrowed his eyebrows. "You rarely got angry at me."

"Well, I guess that's because I didn't have the heart to do so," I said, lowly, looking down. Before he could say anything back I started walking.

I had realized the previous day that these feelings for him had always been there, but I had always ignored them, because my mind had been too focused on Bella. I couldn't help but feel all warm inside when he asked me if I was alright and when he said he had been afraid for me when I confronted his friends I couldn't describe how happy that made me. It meant he cared about me. A part of me still thought he only cared because of Bella, because he knew how much it would hurt her if something happened to me. _Too bad, it already did._But he had told me: he had felt it, too.

As I started turning around to ask him if he was coming or not I felt something hit my leg and I fell, not expecting it. I looked down and saw pieces of wet hard sand, the result of a destroyed sand ball. _Oh, no, you didn't._ I got on my knees, turning my back to him and started shaking, pretending I was crying, as my hands subtly formed a revenge. _You asked for a battle, I'll give you war!_ As I predicted, he started running towards me, calling my name and apologizing. As soon as I felt his hand on my shoulder, I turned around and threw the sand ball. Too bad I didn't exactly see where and didn't control my strength, because a) I threw it too hard and b) I sent it straight to his package. He gasped and hold them, as he fell on his knees as well.

"You…" he choked out.

"Oh, don't be a pussy," I laughed. "It didn't even hurt," I guffawed so hard I fell on the sand, holding my sides.

What I wasn't exactly expecting was payback. I gasped in surprise as I felt a load of sand crashing against me. Some of it got under my clothes and I started feeling itchy.

"You little shit," I cackled, throwing some at his face.

We got in a sand fight, throwing it at each other, mucking our clothes in the process. I tried to divert, but most of the time he managed to hit me with it. I wasn't too bad myself. He was pretty dirty after a while, but I realized I was much worse.

I was laughing at him, because I had succeeded in hitting his face with sand. Without seeing where I was going, I tripped on what felt like a small rock and fell flat. I laughed harder at myself and started moving to get up until I felt someone grabbing my shirt and something wet and disgusting sliding down my back. I gasped at its iciness, realizing it was probably freshly wet sand.

"Ah, cold, cold!" I complained and I heard him laugh. What a beautiful sound, I thought. It was music for my ears. Oh, what the hell am I talking about? This means war!

I threw myself at him, catching him off guard and we both toppled, laughing hysterically.

Once I noticed our positions (me on top of him), my laugh slowly died down, as did his and we looked into each other's eyes. I got lost in the sweet brown of his orbs, watching in slow motion as he blinked. He looked at me with uncertainty and want. We unconsciously leaned in towards each other and when my lips were merely inches from his I closed my eyes. Then, I felt his full warm soft lips touching mine. I opened my mouth slightly, giving him access and slowly, our lips started moving in sink. He sucked my lower lip as I licked his upper one.

And I swore I would never forget what I felt in that moment. It was something I had never felt before. It felt so right and so perfect and like I could do it forever, non-stopping. It felt magical and special. It was heaven.

It could have been days when we broke apart, but for me, it was just mere seconds.

Jacob looked at me intensely and once he came out of his daze, he said exactly what I didn't want to hear:

"We should go home."

**~Chapter 6 – preview ~**

_**I snapped my phone shut and looked ahead, as my leg shook in annoyance.**_

"_**What's the matter?"**_

"_**Bella's home."**_


	6. You're a Bulls fan?

**A/N: I'm getting pissed off, you know. I'm simply asking you to do a quick visit to my profile and read the summaries for the future stories. Some of you review and I appreciate it, but I would do so more if you told me what story you want me to write first. I got some lovely comments about this story, but there are a few that simply say "It's good. Update soon." It's not the comment in itself that bothers me. In fact, just knowing that there are people who like it means a lot to me. However, if you took some of your time to write that small review, it certainly would not hurt if you just did what I asked you to. I get the impression that some of you don't even read the author notes. You should. They're important. Read them - PLEASE! Now, behave like good little girls (and boys?) that you are and don't forget to review (properly, if it is not too much to ask). This chapter is in Edward's point of view and I think the ones who read the preview know this one will be…intense.**

EPOV

Shit! What was I thinking?

I couldn't even look at him now. I knew he had liked it, too. We had kissed each other after all. That wasn't the point though. It just felt like we were going too fast. We were supposed to hate each other, not being lovers. I had no doubt I was falling for him. I felt safe and happy with him. He eased all my fears and worries. And most important: I was my true self in his presence. What could I say? He was amazing. In fact, he was the best person I have met in a long, long time. He was all I had left. I needed him now more than I ever needed anyone.

I wondered if he had felt the same as I did when we kissed or if it had been something meaningless for him. He seemed to be feeling it as well – this was something that hadn't completely disappeared with the change, I couldn't hear people's thoughts anymore, but I still had a talent to read their facial expressions.

I also wondered: why him? Why couldn't I feel the same for Tanya? I loved her as a best friend, but it didn't go far from that. She loved me, too, but as more than a friend. Did such things as soul mates exist? Did I want it to? What if this was just an illusion? Like…with Bella. This was why I thought we were going too fast. I was too afraid it was just a mere illusion and I would end up hurting someone again.

I felt a sudden vibration in my leg. Realizing it was probably my mobile phone, I took it off of my pocket and opened it. I looked at the ID, sighing, and closed my eyes.

"Hi!" I tried to sound cheerful, but it came out sarcastic even to my own ears.

"Hey, baby," _Seriously, what was the last time she called me that? 'Cause I can't remember._

"What's up?" she giggled into the phone at my tone.

"I've just got home. Do you want to come over or something?"

_No!_

"Uh…yeah, sure."

"Charlie's at work, so…"

_So you can try to persuade me to have sex with you?_

"Okay," I said curtly.

"I miss you," I swear I could imagine her ridiculous pout as she said that. I hummed in response. "Don't take too long."

"I won't," I sighed.

"I love you."

_I hate you._

"I love you, too," I replied unconvincingly. Alright, maybe I was a little harsh, but hey, don't blame me, blame the hormones.

I snapped my phone shut and looked ahead, as my leg shook in annoyance.

"What's the matter?" Jacob asked, without taking his eyes off the road. It surprised me how he could sense something wasn't right.

"Bella's home, that's the matter," I snapped, regretting it afterwards.

"Are you gonna tell her?"

"I don't know," I answered truthfully, rubbing my chin. Would I tell her? Would I be able to give her the news and simply stand and watch as she freaked out? And with that I realized that maybe, just maybe, I didn't hate her, at least not enough to enjoy seeing her suffer. Would she make assumptions like the others? Would she let me explain? I had to tell her, though. Sooner or later she would find out anyway. "I-I think I will."

"Do you want me to be there?"

"No," I shook my head. "This is something I have to do on my own," he nodded. "She asked me to pass by, so…if you don't mind dropping me off…"

"You and the car," he chuckled.

"Yeah," I agreed. I couldn't go back on foot. Well, I could, but it was a long way. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"How will you go home?" he simply smirked. "Oh."

He parked a few houses from Bella's and turned to me.

"Will you be okay?"

"Yeah. You?"

He rolled his eyes, before looking at me intensely. He seemed to be struggling with something, like he wanted to ask something but didn't know if he should.

"What?"

"Can…can I kiss you?" he asked, already leaning in. I nodded weakly, half-dazed by his beautiful brown eyes, that closed when his lips were merely inches from mine. "If it becomes too much, tell me," he murmured.

"Jacob," I breathed, before our lips touched, tenderly. They kept moving slowly in sync for a minute. I opened my mouth giving him access and his velvet tongue gently entered my cave, exploring it. Our tongues fought in a pure bliss battle, the kiss no longer soft and timid, but hot and breathtaking. He spun his arms around my waist, pulling me to him and I embraced his neck, playing with the hair on the back of his head with my fingers. Fire met gasoline, resulting in an ecstasy explosion. If I thought the other kiss had been heaven, it was no comparison with this one. I swear I even saw stars behind my eyelids. It was perfect. He was perfect. In the same way we started, we slowly broke the kiss, both gasping for breath. Jacob smiled slightly, revealing his white pearls. I found myself staring at his full lips and without thinking I crashed mine against his. We opened our mouths simultaneously, our tongues wrestling in a full length war. I felt something hard pressing against my stomach and, out of pure instinct, pulled away, trying to control my ragged breathing. _It's Jacob. It's just Jacob._

"I'm sorry," I choked out. After being able to breathe properly, I sat in my seat, torturing myself internally for screwing the moment. It wasn't his fault, I knew it wasn't. His reaction was perfectly normal, so why couldn't I help but panic? Would it be like this every time we kissed? _If_we kissed again. I enjoyed it at first, I really did, but there were still these…problems. I trusted him, I knew he would never…I felt protected around him, so why did I keep freaking out?

I waited for Bella to open the door as I clenched and unclenched my fists nervously. What would she think of my new appearance? Would she like it? Would she hate it? Shit, since when had I become so vain?

"Hi," she greeted me with a bright smile that soon vanished as she noticed I was different. "Are you wearing contacts?" she frowned confused, looking amazed at the same time.

"Uh…no."

"Edward," she gasped. "You're…"

"Human," I finished for her.

"Oh my God. How…?"

"Can I come in?"

"Sure," she moved aside to let me enter, shock never leaving her face. I sat on the couch, resting my elbows on my knees. She sat beside me. I could feel her eyes on me, pleading for answers, all the while staring in amazement. I sighed, not knowing what to say. I knew I wouldn't tell the complete story, but what should I do? Should I tell her I was pregnant and let her take her own conclusions?

"Bella," I started, knowing this would be the easiest way, at least for me. "It's over," I said in a low voice.

"What is?" I looked at her in the eyes, realizing that no, I did not hate her after all. If I did hate her I wouldn't be reluctant in breaking her heart.

"Me and you. It's over."

"You're kidding me, right?" Her expression of wonder was replaced by disbelief and anger. "Do you seriously think I'll believe you this time? I don't know what your reasons are to do this now, but don't you doubt that I won't forgive you when you come back for me."

I closed my eyes, frustrated.

"I'm not…leaving. I'm just breaking up with you."

"You're _just_breaking up with me? After all we've been through together?"

"It's complicated."

"I have time," she insisted.

"Bella, I can't keep doing this. Our relationship is not…healthy. I don't feel happy with you. I don't…" I looked away. "I don't love you."

I sat in silence for a few minutes and let her take in what I had just said, not being able to look at her. I stared at the black TV screen instead. I knew now that I had been wrong once again, that I did not hate her. In fact, I loved her, I had been in love with her. Unfortunately, it had ended up in obsession. And I felt bad for betraying her, for kissing Jacob when we were still together. Not that she could say anything about it. She had done the exact same thing after all. She was like a good friend to me now. She was someone I once shared a lot of my life with and comforted when she needed. We had gone through a lot together to simply let go completely. I did want her in my life, just not in the same way I did before. But she was still important and still owned a part of my heart. I didn't want her to suffer, but this needed to be done, so we could both go on with our lives. Funny how my thoughts changed in such a small period. Maybe I was bipolar or something. Or maybe it was just the hormones.

I heard a sniff and turned to Bella immediately. She was crying silently, her head bowed down, as she shook lightly. I gently lifted her chin. Her eyes and nose were slightly red and her cheeks were wet as more and more tears kept falling down her heart-shaped face.

"We can still be friends," I tried and she hugged me tightly…too tightly. "Bel…can't…breathe!" she released me immediately and we both chuckled.

"I guess I'll have to be more careful from now on," she smiled. "You fragile human boy," she ruffled my hair.

"Hey," I pushed her shoulder lightly. "I'm not fragile."

"No," she shook her head. "You're not," she agreed sincerely. "But you have to be more careful, Mister," she pointed her finger at me. "I don't want to see you hurt."

"Don't worry," I smiled, but it soon disappeared as reality came crashing down on me. If we were going to be friends, then I had to tell her the truth. "Bella, I have to tell you something."

"I'm listening."

"When you were doing some research about vampires, didn't you find something about Incubus?"

She was thoughtful for a minute, trying to remember, before answering. "Yes, I think I did. I read somewhere they were demons that seduced women. Is that true?"

"No. But did you read something about Succubus?"

"Yeah, I also read something about them. It said they seduced human males and could carry children. But what does this have to do with what you're going to tell me?"

"Bella, the legends about the Incubus are wrong, or at least not complete. Incubus are vampire males that can carry children."

"But…they-they exist?"

"Yes," I nodded. "And I'm one of them. Or was…whatever. But I have never seduced anyone. The point is: when an Incubus and another male…" I swallowed. "…uh…sleep together, it's possible for the first to get pregnant. I just want you to know, before you jump to conclusions, that I didn't do anything. I did not cheat on you. Do you trust me?"

She took a moment to absorb it all. She nodded.

"I trust you," she said, sincerely. "But…does this mean that you're…pregnant?" I nodded. "Wow," she breathed. "How do you feel about that?"

"I'm happy," I replied, truthfully.

"Can I be the God-mother?" I nodded, chuckling and she grinned, before hugging me again and pecking my cheek. "I'm gonna miss my vampire boyfriend, but I want to see you happy and if this is what you want, then I support you."

"Thank you," I sighed into her hair. This was very surprising for me, I never thought Bella would accept the news so well. She didn't judge me like my family had done and it meant a lot to me that I had someone who was offering to be there for me, someone who trusted me. We were interrupted by the sound of my stomach churning.

"You're hungry?"

"Starving," I admitted.

We made small talk as she cooked lasagna and I set the table. I asked how her weekend had been and she told me about how Charlie talked more than she had ever seen him do and like they were old buddies. I couldn't help but laugh as the sudden image of Bella and her father talking about the latest Yankees victory or the Miami Heat's improvement flashed through my head. She rambled about all the shopping she had done, grateful she hadn't taken Alice with her. She had bought new clothes and a stupidly big amount of novels. Charlie had also bought a few things for himself. In the end, she had gotten home happy because she had been able to finally spend a good time with her dad.

My mind automatically drifted to a not so happy area: there wouldn't be father/son bond between me and Carlisle anymore. I would miss him, I knew that, but I couldn't bring myself to do something so our relationship turned back to what it was before. I couldn't bring myself to tell the truth, not only afraid of what he would think, but also knowing how much it would hurt to explain it out loud and that I would probably have a panic attack, embarrassing myself in the process. I was also scared that they would try to track him down and get hurt while doing so. If _he _was that much stronger than me as a vampire, then _he_was able to do serious damage to one of my loved ones. I wouldn't endanger them like that. I was mad at them, very much so, but I still loved and cared about them and I wouldn't deny it even if I wanted to.

"You know Alice is gonna kill you, right? That damn pixie is super excited for the wedding."

"Was," I corrected. "I've already told my family."

"What did they say?" I looked down, playing with my fork, having suddenly lost my appetite.

"They think I cheated on you," I tried to cover the anger and hurt in my voice, failing miserably, as tears threatened to fall.

"Don't worry. They'll forgive you," she covered my hand with her own. I shook my head.

"I left," I took her a minute to understand what I said.

"Where are you living now?" I considered lying and telling her I was living in a good hotel, but decided against it.

"This may seem pretty impossible, but…Jacob's father let me stay in their house."

"Wh…What?"

"They know the whole story. They know what really happened."

"What happened?"

"Bella, please," I looked at her, my vision blurry with tears. "Don't."

"Hey," she gripped my hand. "It's okay. You don't have to tell me."

"Thank you," I nodded and started eating again. "This is delicious, Bella," I changed the subject. "Good job."

"Thanks." She smiled, "So…you and Jacob…have you been getting on well with each other?"

"Hell yeah," she frowned confused at the way I said it. I really wanted to tell her what had occurred between us, but I knew she loved him, too and not simply as a friend. I got a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach as I realized who she would probably turn to now. Would I be selfish enough to interfere with her own happiness? "Bella…how much do you love Jacob?"

"A lot," I cringed. "But not enough to be in a relationship with him," I sighed, relieved. "Why do you ask?"

"Because…fuck, I feel like an asshole for doing this to you." Her eyes widened at my choice of words. "I think someday you'll find someone who really loves you and you love back, but…that's not me. And I think neither is Jacob," she furrowed her eyebrows, confused. "We kissed," I slipped in one breath and looked down, unable to meet her gaze. She gasped.

"Edward, are you…g-gay?"

"I don't know," I sighed, frustrated. "I-I think I'm falling for him and he seems to feel the same way about me. And when we kissed it was…I don't even know how to describe it. It was incredible, Bella. I should have known sooner, I think it has been there all along, but I just ignored it. I don't know if I'm gay or bisexual or whatever, but you know what? I don't care."

"Neither do I," she replied and I looked up to see her smiling. She shrugged. "As long as you're both happy, I'm happy."

If possible, I felt even worse as she said that. She really was a good person and deserved the best. I couldn't believe I had thought so badly of her. I was too angry with my family to see that it wasn't her fault they had chosen her over me.

After we had both finished having lunch, I helped Bella washing the dishes. I found that I wasn't too good with the task, letting her do it for me, as I dried and put them in their place. We decided to spend the rest of the afternoon watching TV, seeing as we were both too tired to do anything else. We settled down on the couch and Bella turned the TV on. She opted to watch a soccer match (unexpected much?) and I was thankful. Soccer wasn't my favorite sport, but I liked it enough to be fully concentrated as I watched it. Besides, there wasn't probably anything else on that didn't qualify as pure crap. I couldn't consider myself luckier as I saw which teams were playing: Brazil and Argentina. This sure would be a fierce game.

I sighed in frustration when thirty minutes had passed and neither of them had scored a single goal, although they both tried hard to do so. Our country wasn't very good at soccer, so I rarely had a chance to see them playing, but I usually supported Argentina, because Messi was my favorite player. The guy had talent. It's funny how I could remember some small thing like these so easily and others not.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Bella's chocolate eyes observing me. She was reacting pretty well to the news, or at least she seemed to. I knew she still loved me very much, but I didn't know how much she was suffering. I had a feeling she was holding it inside, like she always did. But I also believed that one day she would be able to move on and find someone good enough for her.

I turned my attention to the screen, almost missing for a second as Stracqualursi's right foot connected with the ball, sending it straight to the right side of the goal. The Brazilian goalkeeper jumped in the air, but couldn't reach it. The ball entered at full speed and my ass automatically jumped from the couch and I shouted "Goal!" I ended up sitting again in embarrassment, as I heard the sound of the door closing. Chief was home. My cheeks heated up and I looked at Bella's father, who was watching me with an amused expression.

"Hi," I greeted, barely audibly, gesturing an awkward wave and Bella giggled under her breath.

"Having fun, kid?"

"Uh…yeah."

"What're ya watching?"

"Soccer."

"Mind if I join ya?"

"Not at all," he sat on the couch next to me, stretching his legs.

"Bells, go get me a beer, please." She rolled her eyes and got up, muttering a "sure". "Make them two, sweetie," he added to his request before she disappeared into the kitchen. "Kid, consider yourself lucky. I usually don't let anyone under twenty-one drink on my watch, but I'm making an exception for ya this time."

"I don't drink, sir."

"There's a first time for everything."

"There you are," Bella put the two beers on the table, before sitting next to her father. Our positions would be funny if me and Bella still dated, her dad between us, completely forbidding us from physical contact.

"Go ahead, kid. Drink it. It doesn't hurt if you just do it once in a while," I moved to grab the can and opened it. Still reluctant, I brought it to my lips and drank it. I admit it didn't taste so bad, maybe a little weird, but not bad.

We continued to watch the match. Bella was obviously not interested, I could easily hear her sighs of boredom. Charlie and I, on the other hand, were focused on the game, one of us doing a certain remark about it from minute to minute. Brazil scored one goal five minutes before the end.

"Shit," I cursed under my breath.

Charlie changed channel, only to switch to another game, this time a basketball game: Knicks vs. Chicago Bulls. I grinned, knowing fully well which team I would support – my Bulls, of course. Bella's dad, though, wasn't too happy when he saw we were winning for a difference of nine points. It wasn't much, they could do better in my opinion, but as long as they won, everything was okay.

"You're a Knicks fan?" I questioned, taking a sip of my second can of beer. He nodded, visibly annoyed.

"You're a Bulls fan?"

"Hell yeah," I grinned. He looked at me, his brow furrowed questioningly. "What? I was born in Chicago."

"Really?" he seemed genuinely interested. I nodded and focused on the game, wishing he didn't make any further questions so I didn't need to make up a story about my real parents or their death, for that matter.

"Ooohhh," the commentator and I said in unison, as Omer Asilk made an ankle breaking crossover, leaving his defender, Douglas on the ground, and passed the ball to Bogans, who dunked, scoring two more points to his team.

"…the hell?" Charlie muttered, only to laugh at my face when Fields blocked Boozer.

"You're no fun!" Bella huffed, all of a sudden, and we both looked at her, mumbled a "yeah, yeah" and focused on the screen again, ignoring her. "I'm gonna grab a book."

"Uh-uh."

I prepared for an amazing 3-pointer by Nicola Mirrotic, who shoot in a perfect angle.

"Take that, mother fu…" I didn't get to finish, because it ended up being a mouth hanging airball. Un-fucking-believable. "Uhh…never mind."

"Don't fucking curse, that's rude,"

_And what the hell did you just do then?_

Every time the Knicks scored I took a sip of my beer, irritated. Before I knew it, I had finished my fourth can and was already feeling a bit dizzy and my stomach felt like an active volcano. However, I couldn't help but throw my fist in the air when Derrick Rose made a 3-pointer, his defender very close to block him but not being able to do so. _That's right, Derrick, show 'em who's the boss!_

In the end, the Bulls won for a difference of 17, scoring 98 points. Charlie was fuming and I wanted to grin, but it was coming out like a grimace, because damn, my stomach was killing me. My body convulsed slightly as an acid liquid hit the back of my throat. I swallowed it nevertheless. After a minute I understood what it was, but didn't have time to think about what to do, as it came again and this time I couldn't hold it. Out of pure instinct, I ran to the kitchen counter, spilling all the lasagna I had eaten at lunch. Damn, it did look like the breakfast I had had that morning…that came out right after. My throat burnt with the acidity of the disgusting liquid that I had already recognized as vomit. I felt a soothing hand rubbing my back. I gripped the edge of the counter when another wave came and I felt a strange wetness on my forehead. I groaned after a painful coughing fit as Bella patted my back. I looked at her through a foggy vision, as my nose wrinkled because of the awful smell.

She showed me where the bathroom was, so I could brush my teeth and wash my face, insisting that I took a nap after it in her bedroom, because, apparently, I was "whiter than the color itself." I disagreed: I was "greener than my eye color." Seriously, I looked like crap. Maybe Bella's suggestion *cough* order *cough* wouldn't be so bad after all. I washed my face first, because it was not a difficult task (depending on how you considered it). Brushing my teeth, though, wasn't coming out so easily. No, scratch that, it wasn't coming out at all.

"Bella?" I called.

"Yes?" she said from her room.

"Can you come here for a second, please?"

I heard a low "sure" and five seconds later she was at my side, eyeing the toothbrush in my hand with amusement.

"First, you wash the toothbrush. Then, you grab the toothpaste and put a little on the brush," I did as she said, annoyed that she was speaking to me like I was a four-year-old. "Now, you brush your molars back and forth," she laughed when foam fell down my chin. "You don't need to open your mouth so much," I rolled my eyes and closed it slightly. "Smile," I frowned confused, but smiled anyway. "Now brush them in circles," she made the movements and I imitated her. I had to spill it into the basin after five minutes or so. I cleaned my chin and mouth.

I followed her as she headed to her room, all the while trying to convince her that I was absolutely fine, when in reality, I was exhausted. Bella ended up confessing she wanted to see me sleeping, as it was something she had always wanted to do and now she had the opportunity. I could at least indulge her, since I had broken her heart. I knew I couldn't ever make up to her for all the times I had caused her pain, but I hoped she wasn't holding in resentment and I was forgiven.

I took off my Converse and lay on the bed, allowing the sleep to engulf me, but, not too long after my eyelids dropped, I started shivering. Bella, sensing this, reminded me I could make myself comfortable, so I hid my body under the covers. I closed my eyes, enjoyed the warmth of the soft sheets and allowed myself to fall into a dreamful sleep.

_I ran. I ran as fast as I could, but, at the same time, I didn't remember the last time I had run at such a slow pace. My bare bloody feet weren't silent like I was used to. This time, when they touched the ground, they added intensity to the sound of my ragged breaths and hisses of pain. I was running from something, from someone, from him._

"_Edward…" his voice called with a mocking tone. "You can't run away forever."_

"_Yes, I can," I choked out, the pressing in my chest and burning in my lungs intensifying._

_His devilish laugh echoed in the dark forest, followed by a soft tiny crying. I stopped and looked around, trying to find the sobbing girl. But she wasn't anywhere to be found. She didn't need help though. Her cries were not desperate or scared, just sad. I felt a wet warm soft hand caressing my forehead. It felt good and soon I found myself relaxing, but it wasn't good enough. Those fingers weren't warm enough. They weren't long enough. They weren't Jacob's._

"_Edward…" the voice called again. "Come to me."_

"_No," I shook my head and started running again, as rapid as my hurting legs could carry me._

"_You're mine," he growled._

"_I'm no one's," I murmured more to myself than him._

_Suddenly, my foot caught something that I could guess was a tree branch and I fell flat on the ground, my already messy clothes getting muddy. I moved to get up, but as soon as I looked up, tears poured down my face and sobs rocked my body. Around me, in a perfect circle, was my family, all of them laughing at me. Every single member showed their sharp teeth in a menacing and terrifying smile, as their loud and hysteric laugh made the wood's mammals hide and the birds fly away in panic._

_Large wolves emerged from thin air, also showing their dangerous canines, not in a mocking smile, but in pure rage. Their dark eyes glowed in fury, as frightening snarls kept being heard. The vampires didn't show any signs that they had acknowledged them. A wave of panic hit me as the animals opened their big mouths, ready to rip their heads off. I tried to scream, but I could barely breathe, let alone use my voice. However, they ended up swallowing only air, because, in a mere second, my family vanished, not one of them left behind. They had left me again. I was all alone._

_The enormous wolves moved towards me, their anger not lessening a bit. I closed my eyes, preparing for the pain, preparing for my death._

_But I didn't prepare for the one thing worse than my funeral: a burning hot hand on my thigh, bruising me. I turned around, my pleas of mercy caught in my throat, unable to come out. And I faced the monster, his eyes filled with lust. I faced the worst of my torments: the monster who had raped me._

"…wake up! Edward, wake up!"

I woke up with a gasp, my eyes filled with tears and my chest heaving forcefully. I felt a soft shaking hand caressing my face and wiping the wetness on my cheeks gently. Bella had her head laid on a pillow next to me. She, too, was crying, or had cried. Her eyes, cheeks and nose were red and puffy.

"Hey," I frowned. "Were you crying?" she nodded.

"Don't worry about it."

"Of course I worry. What's wrong?" A sob escaped her and, in an instant, she was in my arms, crying into my chest.

"I'm gonna miss you, that's what's wrong." I put my arms around her waist and rubbed her back soothingly.

"You can visit me whenever you want to."

"B-but it wo-won't be th-the sa-me."

"Bella, it's for the best."

"I-I kno-ow. But I love you so m-much."

"I loved you, too, honey, but this isn't working," she nodded and her sobs softened. After half an hour or so, I decided to relieve the atmosphere. "How long was I asleep?"

"Three hours, I think. You were having a nightmare so I woke you up."

"Thank you."

"No problem. I couldn't stand to see you like that anyway," she sniffed. "What were you dreaming about?"

I shook my head and closed my eyes, refusing to tell her. I had already managed to forget most of it and I was doing my best to clear what was still left.

"You don't want to talk about it," she concluded and I sighed. "By the way…" she raised her head to look at me, slapping my shoulder lightly. "Why did you drink so much, you idiot?" I shrugged.

"Blame your father, not me," I chuckled.

"Yeah, he and I will have a serious talk! And for punishment, he'll have to clean the mess you both made," we both laughed. "Are you feeling any better?"

"Yes, thank you," I said honestly. "What time is it?"

"Twenty-five past seven."

"I should get going then," I kissed her forehead and stood up, grabbing my shoes.

"Do you mind if I call you later?"

"Sure," I gave her a small smile. She grabbed my hand and squeezed it gently before I walked out.

"Goodnight, Chief Swan."

"Do you feel better?" he seemed genuinely concerned.

"Yes, sir, thank you."

"Goodnight, kid."

"Goodnight."

It was twilight now and it was way colder than in the beginning of the afternoon. My teeth chattered violently and my body started trembling. I ran to my car, hopping in and turned on the heat. I relaxed in my seat, until I was warm enough.

I wondered if Jacob was worried about me. Maybe I should call him. The problem was: I didn't have his number. Deciding it would be better if I simply headed to his house, I turned on the ignition. Then, I was on my way. I tried to be as careful as possible, I knew I couldn't go as fast as I was used to or else I would end up killing myself (or worse, someone innocent) in an accident. Besides, I wasn't exactly in the best form, so I tried to go slow.

I got the feeling that this town was some kind of maze, because as much as I tried to I couldn't head back to La Push and, much to my surprise, after what seemed like an eternity of numerous turns, I ended up in the parking lot of Forks High. My humanity seemed to be a mere joke, because I couldn't remember the most important things like food and paths, but superfluous stuff like basketball rules or my favorite soccer player were incredibly vivid in my mind. I was royally tired, my muscles ached and I had a major headache. And I didn't have a clue of how to go home. I rested my head on the steering wheel, frustrated. My phone started ringing then, as if it was my salvation.

"Hello?" I didn't even care to check the caller ID. My voice sounded tired to my own ears and I was sure the person on the other line had noticed it, too.

"Edward?" It was Bella. "Are you okay?"

"My head hurts and I feel like I'm going to fall asleep any minute. Oh, and I can't remember the way to Jake's house. I'm perfectly fine, why wouldn't I be?" I replied sarcastically.

"Where are you?"

"In the school's parking lot."

"Jeez, Edward," she giggled. "How the hell did you end up there?"

"Seriously? I have no idea," I sighed.

"Don't get out of there. I'll pick you up."

"I'm not gonna leave my car here."

"Afraid your baby will be stolen?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I am. It's my Sylvia, not the Volvo, just so you know."

"Your Sylvia?"

"My Aston," I could hear her trying to muffle her chuckles. "You know what? Just give me Jacob's number."

I hung up, a paper with numbers in my hand. I didn't want to bother him, but I could not think of any way else to get home. I casted a quick glance at my phone, before dialing his number. It was already past nine o'clock. I waited for him to pick up, growing more and more frustrated when it rang at least ten times and nothing. I was ready to press the red button when I heard his husky voice.

"Hello?"

"Thank God," I sighed with relief. "What took you so long?"

"Edward?"

"Yes, it's me. Can you come pick me up?"

"Why? Where are you?"

"I'm in my school's parking lot."

"You're such a nerd," he joked and I rolled my eyes. "Why are you there anyway?"

"I can't remember the way to your house."

"Uh, ok. Don't worry. Can you just wait ten minutes?"

"Sure."

Exactly ten minutes later, I heard someone knocking at the glass window and I turned to look at Jake, who looked more beautiful than I had ever seen him. His bright smile highlighted in the dark of the night and his skin glowed with the moonlight. I closed my mouth before I could allow myself to drool. I opened the door and he entered, as I moved to the other seat without getting out of the car.

"So…" he started. "How was your day?"

"It was cool," I shrugged. "I broke up with Bella," I said, matter-of-factly.

"How did she take it?"

"She was sad, but I think she'll get over it in time. I told her we could still be friends."

"Did you tell her about…the baby?"

"Yeah. She wants to be the God-mother," I smiled.

"And what did you do next?" I looked at him, confused as to why he was so interested.

"Why do you ask?" He turned to me, seeming a bit embarrassed.

"Because," he shrugged.

"Ok. I watched TV with Bella. And then Charlie came home and we watched NBA together. Oh, we won, by the way."

"We?"

"The Bulls. They played with the Knicks. Charlie was fuming."

"Yeah, I can imagine."

"What about you?"

"I was on patrol today."

"Oh. Did you…find anything?"

"No," he sighed.

We made small talk until my eyes dropped and I welcomed the much needed rest. This time, it was peaceful.

Because Jacob was there.

**~Preview~**

"_**Edward, I may not have seen you grow up physically, but I saw as you became more mature over the years, all the while still a hormonal teenager," she chuckled, caressing my face. "I know who my son is. Loyalty is one of your best qualities, dear. I know you'd never betray someone like that."**_


	7. Loyalty is your best quality

**A/N.: Sorry for the wait, I had to do a project work and I'm also out of crutches now (:D) so I've been going out more. I got more reviews this time and more votes: thank you! Oh, for the ones who don't know, "He was a lamb" is the one winning, so if you want something else, I would hurry my ass up and start voting. Keep in mind to do it when you review, because there's no other way to do it. I decided to ask you about other thing: boy, girl or twins? You can now start voting for Edward's baby(ies). It's up to you guys, so don't disappoint me or your favorite characters :p I hope you like this chapter, which is mostly in Edward's point of view. Again, sorry for the wait.**

EPOV

One week. One delicious week. Literally. The first week went perfectly well. Well, aside for the nightmares, panic attacks, sobbing sessions and other symptoms indicating a possible PTSD. During that precious week, I was able to…_eat,_basically. Now I regret not having enjoyed it as I should. I found out, though, that I loved salt. Well, not salt itself. Although Jacob had to stop me from shoving it down my throat. But you know what I mean. Chips, God bless them, were not only salty but also incredible. Now, chips, God rest their souls, just…drowned. In the toilet. And I hope God forgives me, but I just couldn't keep them down.

So as you could already guess, the morning sickness started. Three days ago, to be precise. The few things I have eaten have been immediately thrown up. So now this is my new routine: wake up, have breakfast, throw up, take a nap just because, have lunch, throw up again, take another nap, faint as soon as I wake up almost getting a concussion in the process, being carried by Jacob as if I was a damsel in distress (not saying that's exactly a bad thing), cry myself to sleep, wake up in the middle of the night with nightmares, be comforted by Jacob and go back to sleep.

And now here I am, my face shoved down the toilet, because I decided to break my routine and had dinner yesterday. It's probably four o'clock in the morning and I can stop puking my guts out. The chips, God rest their souls, don't look like chips anymore. My throat burns, my head hurts, my vision is blurry and I'm not even gonna talk about my stomach.

One step, two steps, three steps…And here we go again.

"Edward," he sighed. "Gosh."

Uh…yeah, that's a good way to describe it. _Gosh, your mouth stinks! Not gonna kiss you again, nuh-uh!_ Oh, yeah, that's right, I forgot to tell ya: Jacob hasn't said a word about our oh-my-god-kiss nor our oh-my-_fucking_-god-kiss until now. The situation has been sort of…awkward.

He put his warm hand on my forehead, brushing away my sweaty hair. Well, I think it was his hand anyway, it could be his foot…or…something. It was large. No, but it was probably his hand, it smelled good. I opened my eyes, but all I could see was a brown blur. The simple effort of trying to clear my vision was giving me a headache, so I closed my eyes again and let darkness consume me.

Ringing…

Phone…

Phone ringing…

_Damn it! Coherency, where the hell are you?_

I heard a phone ringing.

_Gotcha!_

I got up slowly, feeling strangely much better than in the last few days. No stomachache, no dizziness. I felt perfectly perfect. But I was sure my mouth still smelled like shit. Hell, it tasted like shit. I was in Jacob's room, under the covers of his small but comfy bed. My phone was on the bedside table, vibrating as its screen flashed light. I felt well rested, but the truth was: I just wanted my lazy ass to keep itself under the covers, so I waited until whoever was calling me gave up. But no, the motherfucker had to keep ringing. It's just to annoy the hell out of me! I grabbed the trembling object, holding it to my ear.

"Hi, this is Edward. Leave a message and I'll call you back. Or not," I snapped the last part. I heard a muffled giggle. Jessica fucking Stanley must have gotten my phone number. Go figure.

"Sweetie, did I wake you up?" I grinned, recognizing the voice.

"Sorry, Mom," I chuckled. "And no, you didn't," I lied.

"How are you?" she asked, concern evidently laced in her voice.

"I'm good. Thanks for asking. You?"

"I'm fine, honey," a pause. "Actually…no, I'm not," she sighed. I sat up quickly, worried.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm…I don't know what to do. I don't buy it."

"What don't you buy?"

"Edward, I don't believe you could have…" she trailed off. I closed my eyes and sighed, hoping she would simply drop it. "Honey, you know you can always talk to me."

"I know," My voice was strained as a lump formed in my throat. "I just…please, I can't…I'm not strong enough. Not…now," I wiped the small tear that fell.

"Oh, baby, I didn't mean to upset you."

"It's okay. Just don't…I don't want to talk about it," I got up and put on my sneakers.

"Can we meet? I miss you."

"Of course," I smiled. "Time and place?" I got out of the room, talking as quietly as I could so I didn't wake up anyone.

"I'm thinking about a new coffee shop that just opened here in Forks."

"I don't drink coffee, Momma." As soon as I stepped into the living room I noticed a tall and large form sitting on the couch. I knew it wasn't Jake. Although the figure was very similar, I couldn't imagine Jacob with that posture. He had a bag of chips in his hand and he had his feet crossed on the small table, as the TV screen showed some Mexican soap opera. I snickered silently.

"Well, we could always…What are you laughing at?"

"Sorry," I apologized, my voice with a hint of amusement. The boy turned to look at me. Paul. I quickly adverted my gaze, my fists clenching in anger. I made no move to leave, showing I wasn't scared. "You were saying?"

"I wasn't saying anything," she replied, confused. I felt Paul's gaze on me, so I turned to him to see him glaring daggers at me. "Edward, where are you? And what is the person next to you eating? It sounds like there's a shredder working or something!" I covered my mouth with my hand so I didn't laugh out loud.

"Chips." It took me a moment to realize what I was saying. Chips. Crispy, salty chips. I looked at the bag in Paul's hand, my stomach grumbling quietly, infatuating my need to grab it. I gulped and bit my lip.

"…re you?" I snapped out of my daze, remembering Esme was still on the phone.

"Huh?" was my dumb response.

"Where are you?"

"I'm…uh…" I trailed off, being distracted by Paul's confused stare. "I'm at Jake's."

"Jake's? You call him Jake now?"

"Yeah." My eyes were glued to the chips.

"Has he been treating you well?"

"Yes," I smiled, quickly forgetting my hunger. "He's been great. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, just checking if my future son-in-law is good for my boy," she said, matter-of-factly. I gasped and my eyes widened. How did she…?

"W-what?" She giggled.

"Oh, hun, do you seriously think I didn't notice how you two interacted with each other?"

"It's not what you think."

"Of course not," she chuckled. Damn it, how does she know these things? "Mother's intuition never fails, Edward," she sang. I sighed.

"And you don't care?"

"Not a bit, sweetheart," I smiled.

"Whatever. So, where are we meeting?"

Paul had turned his attention to the TV, so I moved to the stairs outside the house. I sat on one of the steps, breathing deeply the cold morning air. "Does that coffee shop sell chips?"

"I don't think so."

"I'm starving," I rested my forehead on my knees.

"Oh, poor thing," she said in her usual motherly tone. "Hasn't Jacob been feeding you?"

"Momma," I chuckled. "I don't need to be fed. I'm human, not invalid."

"Oh, but you've been feeding yourself correctly, right, baby?"

"Yeah," I replied, but it sounded unconvincing to my own ears.

"Edward," she stressed, audibly concerned.

"I've been throwing up a lot in the last few days," I admitted, sheepishly. "And I passed out a few times."

"Sweetie," she gasped. "I…God, Edward. Y-you…You have to be seen by a doctor."

"Which doctor, Mom?" I chuckled dryly. "What would Dr. Snow say about my…situation?"

Silence.

"Momma?"

"Maybe your father-"

"Don't. I don't…I can handle myself. I don't need Dr. Cullen's help. I'll be fine. And I'm sure your husband has a very busy schedule. He surely doesn't need some irresponsible pregnant kid wasting his time," I could hear the anger and hurt in my own voice.

"I'm not gonna lie. He's mad. He doesn't talk about it, but I know he is."

"There. He'll certainly be very grateful."

"Edward, don't say that. He loves you. He cares ab-"

"What time do you wanna meet?" I interrupted her, changing the subject. For once, I had woken up in a good mood and the last thing I wanted was having my nice morning screwed up by this.

"In an hour, maybe," she sighed. "Is that okay for you?"

"That's just fine. Can we meet somewhere else and then go to that coffee shop? I don't know where it is, so…"

"Oh, that's okay, sweetie. What about that friend of yours' shop? Mike Newton. Isn't that his name?"

"Yeah, I think. I'll be there."

"Okay, baby. See you in an hour. I love you."

"I love you, too," I said and she hung up.

I breathed out in relief, thanking the freezing breeze for helping me to get Carlisle's face out of my head. I could see a large, tall figure emerging from the trees and grinned, pushing all the worries to the back of my head. He, too, was smiling and I found myself entranced with his perfect white teeth. I got up and started walking towards him. Maybe it was my morning good mood, maybe it was my talk with my mom that I missed dearly, maybe it was just…him, but I couldn't hold myself anymore. So, I did the first thing that came to my mind, what I wanted, what I needed to do. I hugged him, standing in the tips of my toes and smiling against his neck, as my nostrils sniffed his pinewood scent. He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me close to his warm body and resting his chin on my shoulder.

"You're freezing."

"I didn't even notice," I chuckled. "Where have you been?"

"Just went to the beach with Quil and Claire."

"Who's Claire?"

"The little girl he imprinted on." I released him and frowned.

"Can that happen?"

"Yeah," he shrugged. "He'll just have to wait until she's old enough so they can become more than friends."

"You can imprint just like that? Can you imprint on an old lady, too?"

"I don't think that has ever happened before," he chuckled. "But yeah, I think so. We can imprint on our enemy as well," he said but not even a second later he covered his mouth with his hand, like he shouldn't have said that.

"It's okay. I'm not telling anyone," I smiled warmly and he relaxed visibly. "Oh, Esme called. I'm having breakfast with her today."

"Where?" he sounded like a protective father in that moment.

"In a new coffee shop in the centre."

"I'm taking you."

"What? Why?"

"Because I don't want you getting in trouble."

"I can take care of myself, Jake."

"Can you?" he raised his eyebrows at me. I dropped my gaze, fidgeting my hands. Could I? After all that has happened in the past days I wasn't so sure.

"I guess not," I whispered, defeated. He lifted my chin, caressing it with his thumb.

"Come here," he opened his arms and I accepted his embrace. "I'm just looking out for you. I just don't want you to suffer more than you already have."

I felt all warm inside at his confession.

"I appreciate all you've done for me. I really do. And I have to admit it feels good having someone who cares about me. But I just…I don't deserve it."

"Yes, you do," he rubbed my back. "You've been too selfless for a long time. Let me take care of you."

My eyes stung with emotion.

"Thank you," I clutched him tighter. "Thank you so much."

"No problem," I smiled against his chest. He really was amazing. "Now go get dressed."

Seeing as it was freezing outside and it would probably rain soon, I put on my jeans, along with my white cotton Nike sweater and my black hoodie over it. I wore the same sneakers and grabbed my backpack, putting a raincoat in it, as well as some money. I needed to buy a few hygiene items. Jacob had taught me how to shave, but the first time I had done it alone, I had gotten a few cuts. They were almost healed by now, but I definitely needed to buy him a new razor. I also had to do some groceries; I had to contribute for the house expenditure. I couldn't let Jacob and his father keep wasting their money on me. Eh, as if I needed it. I quickly brushed my teeth, getting rid of the vomit taste and smell in my mouth. I washed my face and hands, resisting the urge tame my messy hair. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and, although I knew I wasn't anywhere near beautiful, I had to admit my eye color was pretty impressive. Right now they looked like they had no pupils at all, a rich dark green filling them.

I put my backpack on my shoulders, heading to the living room, where Jacob was waiting for me. He was wearing the same shorts, but he had a blood red T-shirt on, as well as some old sneakers.

"Sorry if I took too long," I said. He turned to look at me, eyeing me up and down and smiling.

"You didn't," he shook his head and I walked towards him. "Do you have everything you need?"

"Yeah. Hey, can we take your car this time? Sylvia needs her rest," I said half-jokingly.

"That's fine," he chuckled. He turned to Paul, who was watching us and drinking coke, his eyebrows furrowed. "Man, I'm going out. Don't destroy the house."

"Hey," he called, before Jake could take a step. "When is your sister coming home?" _Jake has a sister?_

"Probably next week. Why do you ask?"

"Just because," he shrugged and I chuckled under my breath. _There's a lot more to it…_

"Whatever," Jacob looked at me. "Let's go."

Jacob's Rabbit wasn't exactly big or fast, but I guess it could make a sixteen-year-old who just got his license excited. He had a small smile on his face, probably enjoying the ride.

"I didn't know you had a sister."

"I have two: Rachel and Rebecca. Rachel's coming home from college next week."

"Good for Paul," I commented and Jacob looked at me, his eyebrows furrowed. "I mean,…he obviously likes her." Jacob's hazel eyes widened.

"They haven't even met yet."

"Oh," I said, dumbly. "It just…Didn't you notice the look on his face?"

"No," he answered, confused.

"Trust me, he has a crush on her. Has he seen any of her pictures or something?"

"Uh…yeah, probably. There a few in the house."

"There. He's excited to meet her."

"How…How do you know?" he asked, dumbfounded. I shrugged, at a loss of words. I just…knew. There was no explanation. When I was human it worked as a talent, when I was a vampire it worked as a gift. That was the best I could come up with.

"So," I started. "Ready to hang out with Mrs. Cullen?" I grinned.

"That sounds like fun," he laughed. "But no, I'll just leave you two to spend the time you need together." My smile flattered a bit.

"You can come if you want," I said, almost pleading.

"Edward, really, I'm sure your mom will feel more comfortable if I'm not there. You haven't been with her in a while. It will be good for you."

I smiled at him, despite my hopes having just been destroyed. I ended up convincing myself this alone time with my mother would be good. Jacob looked at me, seeming content.

"You're in a good mood," he pointed out.

"Yes, I am," I nodded. "I'm feeling splendid today."

"That's good to know," he replied, sincerely.

I vaguely remembered Mike. For all I knew he could be my worst enemy or maybe we were best buddies. I had no idea what he looked like nor where I "knew" him from. Esme had said he was my friend. Perhaps a classmate? I had no idea, but the name was very familiar. I did know his parents owned a shop named Newton's Outfits. I was aware Bella had worked there and where it was. Apparently, Jake knew as well where it was located. I scanned the area when he parked, but Momma was nowhere to be seen and neither was her car. Jacob snickered next to me.

"What?"

"I was just remembering when Bella and I went to the cinema with this dude."

"Who?"

"Mike."

"You know him?" he nodded. "Is he cool?"

"I have no idea," he chuckled. "But I didn't use to like him much. The guy had a huge crush on Bella," he smirked.

"And now?"

"Doesn't warm me, doesn't cool me," he shrugged. "I don't have those kind of feelings for her anymore."

"Why is that?" I pressed, having no idea what the answer would be, but hoping it would satisfy me. Jacob looked down at me, licking his lips and I found myself fascinated by the simple act. He took a deep breath, contemplating what he would say.

"Because I like someone else now," he quietly replied, locking gazes with me. The intensity of his stare left me breathless and, at the same time, my eyes filled with moisture. There was someone else. Jake liked someone else. I looked down and swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat. Could I have also turned into a crying baby? Or maybe I was one all along. I had always felt the need to cry and remembered some of the frequent times I had sobbed tearlessly. Maybe I should work on that. Two warm fingers lifted my chin, making me look at him again. "You should know by now that someone else is you," he whispered.

Something inside me clicked. Did I really want to hear those words from his mouth? Don't get me wrong, they made my day. It was truly incredible to know my feelings were returned, but…What if this turned into something more? Something much more powerful in such a short length of time? What if I couldn't give him what he wanted? He was a boy, he had needs. If this did develop, he would certainly want to…

I closed my eyes, trying to clear my thoughts. Jacob's hand held my cheek gently.

"Edward," he said. "Please, open your eyes," I did as he said. "I know what you're thinking. You're undecided, hesitant. That's normal, but Edward, I would _never_hurt you."

"That's not the problem, Jake. I trust you, I really do. But if whatever is going on between us turns into something more, if it turns into much more, you'll obviously want…" I took a deep breath. "I understand, Jacob, and I understand if you grow impatient, but I just don't know if I'm prepared for more sorrow."

"I can handle myself and my…issues, Edward. I'll wait. You're not getting rid of me anytime soon," he smirked. I smiled at him, touched by his words. Not knowing how to thank him properly, I leaned in and pressed a tender kiss to his cheek, backing away with my shoulders shrunken, my cheeks heating up involuntarily. Suddenly, his nostrils wrinkled. "Your mom's here."

As soon as I stepped into the sidewalk, Esme's icy hand grabbed my wrist pulling me into a hug. She felt much colder and much harder than I could remember, but none of it mattered. She was Mom, I would always feel good in her arms. Specially now, since so much time had passed since the last time I had seen her. It seemed so much time now. I no longer had eternity. Now I counted days, hours. None of that matter when you had forever. You could be so careless it was depressing. Now I had past, present and future. I had plans, objectives. Now I could live. For Esme, although she was a vampire, minutes were important. She made everything in the Cullen household look normal, being the perfect housewife, spouse and mother. Her emotions, thoughts and morality were more human than humans themselves. Of course, she would willingly hug me for two entire minutes. She missed me just as much as I missed her.

She gave Jacob a short nod and a warm smile and he returned the gesture.

"Where do you want to go first?" she asked me as I watched Jacob drive away.

"The coffee shop," I replied immediately. My stomach grumbled and I grimaced in embarrassment. "It won't shut up today," Esme chuckled.

"Let's get you fed then."

The new coffee shop was just in front of the Newton's Outfits, across the street. Most of people were away on holidays, so it wasn't crowded. It was definitely spacious. The walls were painted in white and midnight blue and there were several tables painted in black next to the window, each of them between two traditional garden benches. On the opposite side, there was a small space with grey bean bags and pillows, as well as a few small low wooden tables. Although, it was based on modern design, there were simple items resembling the past, with a hint of Broadway style. It was actually pretty impressive and probably the first truly modern place in Forks. Esme and I sat at one of the tables next to the huge window, both looking out as if there was something outside to admire. I decided to start a conversation:

"So, what have you been doing?"

"Nothing too interesting," she chuckled and then looked down. "Basically trying to convince your father to forgive you or at least let you explain." Her voice sounded defeated.

"Not being successful?"

"Not a bit," she sighed, shaking her head.

"He doesn't trust me."

"Honey…"

"The funniest part is that he forgave me for killing humans, but he won't even listen to me because he thinks I've been fucking with some dude." Esme looked ready to scold me for my bad choice of words, but obviously decided against it and closed her mouth. She then smirked. "What?"

"I knew it," she leaned in, resting her elbows on the table. "You said _he thinks._But you didn't, did you?" she sounded so sure of herself and this time I couldn't lie. She knew it was not true; there was no point in lying to her. I shook my head, confirming her suspicions and she nodded.

"How did you find out?" I questioned in a hoarse voice.

"Edward, in your father's head, it makes perfect sense. The pieces fit together. The biggest ones do. However, there are small details that spoil the scheme. For example, the front door. When I arrived, I immediately noticed it."

Blurry pictures came into my mind, vague memories of that tragic day. At the time I had simply felt numbness, not aware of my surroundings until his husky voice made me listen.

_Sam, would you please open the door?_

But Sam didn't. Not in a gentle way, at least.

_Momma won't be happy._

_Momma will understand,_he replied.

I gasped.

"Were you the only one who noticed?" I asked her.

"I'm pretty sure everyone noticed, but no one said a word about it," I waited for the relief to come and make me exhale, but it didn't. Instead, I felt anger. I was angry because damn it, they were fucking vampires, they were supposed to be intelligent, they were supposed to know something wasn't right, they were supposed to fucking stand up for me and say it: _the front door is broken!_ They were supposed to think about what could have caused it! Were they so blinded by envy and disgust they didn't see it? Of course, it would be fucking easier for them to judge me instead of trying to understand. "Alice has stopped looking for your future, but I heard her tell Jasper she saw you having a nightmare a few days ago when you were with Bella. She said you were sobbing," Esme's voice cracked. "_I'm no one's,_that was what you said, wasn't it?" I shrugged, not being sure.

"I usually forget what I dream about," I explained. Then I realized what she had said: Alice had seen me having a nightmare. Anger welled up inside me once again, but this time hurt came along. Alice hadn't cared and neither had Jasper.

"I've considered…" she trailed off and I raised my head to look at her. "Well, what I was thinking didn't make much sense. It's just very confusing. But I just _know,_Edward, I know you couldn't have betrayed Bella. Edward, I may not have seen you grow up physically, but I saw as you became more mature over the years, all the while still a hormonal teenager," she chuckled, caressing my face. "I know who my son is. Loyalty is one of your best qualities, dear. I know you'd never betray someone like that."

My eyes stung with emotion and I leaned into her cold but otherwise comforting touch.

"Just promise me something," I pleaded. "Once you figure this out, _if_you figure this out, please, don't tell anyone."

"Of course I won't, baby."

Soon a waitress in black trousers and a thin stripped blue and white sweater came, greeting us politely. I asked for bacon, eggs and orange juice, while Esme simply said she wanted coffee. We both knew none of us would drink it. It was one of the best things I had tasted until this moment. Salty, just as I liked it. I still felt a bit hungry after it, but I could handle it just fine. Esme paid, of course, ignoring all my protests.

We both needed to do some shopping so we went to the supermarket. I took the opportunity to buy shampoo, soap, razors, toothbrushes, toothpaste and other hygiene items, as well as food for an entire month. And chips.

I remembered Billy complaining about lack of beer in the house a few days ago, so cans, bottles, here they go. Enough for him and a few more friends. I also brought a bottle of scotch, to offer him as a gift. I knew no gifts would be enough to thank him, but I hoped he could be somehow pleased with the gesture.

We, well I, had lunch in a small restaurant nearby, satisfying my stomach completely.

All the while, Esme kept reminding me she thought I looked lovely as a human and each time she did my cheeks heated up and I mumbled a shy "thank you". We went for a walk after it and when I felt the skin of my lips crack with the cold we knew it was enough and it was time to go home.

I hugged Momma, telling her goodbye, only to be embraced by Jacob's arms not too long after, as he rubbed my back, warming me up, all the while teasing me because of my red nose.

All in all, this day only urged me to go on with my life and smile for the moment, even knowing I would have ups and downs all the way there and hoping Jake would be there as he promised.

JPOV

One month. One month since then. And I was there all the way to witness his worst moments, each of them breaking my heart as my feelings for him grew stronger and stronger. I held him every time he had nightmares, rubbed his stomach every time that sharp pain came, calmed him every time he had a panic attack. I took care of him as best as I could and each minute with him only made me love him more. That's right: love. I loved him. I haven't told him yet, but I couldn't deny it to myself.

And although this brought us closer, it was not a good thing. At all.

Edward's emotional state wasn't getting any better. If all, it got worse.

Bella had visited a few times, always telling a funny story just so it would be easier to breathe in the house and to make Edward feel better. She had told Charlie who was now a much happier man, now that he knew his daughter was single.

The pack and I still tried to find out who had done this to him by tracking the bastard's scent, but it seemed impossible to do so. We couldn't figure out by ourselves.

Edward needed help. I could give him all the comfort he needed and protect him, but I couldn't help with his pregnancy. We couldn't go to a normal doctor and as much as I tried I couldn't convince myself I shouldn't do this. I knew the one person who could help, but I knew it would only work if he knew the truth. I had tried to keep it a secret, but I couldn't hold it in anymore. They needed to know. I couldn't stand one more single day watching Edward suffer and go through such a difficult time without his family. I realized how much it would hurt him, how much it would hurt them and damn it, it pained me as well, but this needed to be done. They should be there for him as well.

Taking a deep breath, I forced my feet to move in the direction of the front door of the Cullen's house.

**~Preview~**

_**Jacob looked at me, his expression dead serious, his heart beating wildly. After taking a few deep calming breaths he opened his mouth and said:**_

"_**It's time for you to know the truth."**_


	8. F you, Carlisle!

**A/N: Ok, here it is. It took a little longer than usual, but I hope you like it. You can see how the Cullens are dealing with this in this chapter. Rosalie is not a bitch, she just doesn't have much control over her mouth xD You can stop voting for the future stories. "He was a lamb" wins. But…you can vote for the baby's gender or the babies' gender, in case you want them to be twins. And please, please, please, review!**

Carlisle's POV

I was shocked, to say the least. My first son, my beloved son, had betrayed us…again. When Jacob called me, I had a feeling something really bad would happen. At first, I couldn't believe it. I've never thought the legends were true, but then again, vampires are supposed to be mere legends as well. I had heard of a case once in Volterra, but I hadn't believed. The Volturi have always tried to impress their guests by making up stories. Most of them were believable, but the one about the existence of an Incubus lefts us all skeptical. Aro had told me the man was killed along with his mate. He had feared the child would cause trouble, putting the vampire race in danger. Of course, I did not believe in a single word. The evil glint in his eyes and his proud tone told me he was only showing off. Never would I dare think it was true, let alone my boy being an Incubus.

Edward had always been undisciplined. Outside, he was a golden boy, smiling for his proud teachers and being a gentleman for the ladies. At home, he didn't have to hold it inside, so he simply behaved like the kid he was. I sometimes expected something more of him, a little bit more maturity, since he had seen this world change for more than a century, but apparently, he was still the unruly boy I had first met. The difference was: a vampire Edward caused much more trouble than a human Edward. He was a good person, he really was, but he was also the sneakiest fellow I have ever met. He always managed to get his way and there were times when he didn't think about the consequences. I was a very collected person, but it did unnerve me, because I couldn't deny him anything. I just couldn't and it frustrated me that I didn't know why.

Esme, though, loved his behavior, saying he had a "strong personality" and a "teenage spirit". The boy had her completely wrapped up around his little finger. When she scolded him, it was always half-jokingly.

However I had to admit it: he was my favorite. I loved all my children, but Edward, although he was the one who caused more trouble, he was the one who shattered my loneliness, my first son. We had gone through a lot together, good and bad moments, but now I wondered: Was it all a lie?

It made perfect sense. I knew the other father had to be a werewolf. Edward was with Jacob. Edward always got what he wanted. What did he want? Humanity. The only way to change back was by getting pregnant. I wondered, though, why he chose a werewolf. Why not a human? Perhaps because shape-shifters were stronger. Why would Jacob impregnate my son? Probably because he was seduced. Edward was an Incubus, that's what they did – they seduced people. My son was a demon, a danger to my other children, wife and even myself, principally if the Volturi found out about him.

My head was a big mess. I loved Edward, I cared about him…a lot. I didn't want him to get hurt, but what about the rest of the family? And if Edward really was a demon, was it worth to worry about him?

Then there was another thing: the fact that he had betrayed Bella. I knew it wasn't my place to judge him about that, but I couldn't help but feel betrayed, as well. This family has gone through tragedies because of his love for her and now we find out it was a lie. He didn't love her after all. At least not enough. But I could have forgiven him; I could have forgiven him if he apologized, if he was genuinely regretful as he was when he came back to me after ten years of murdering. I had forgiven him, because he seemed to be torturing himself enough as it was.

But there was no regret here, only crocodile tears, which were probably his way to get what he wanted once again. But this time, I refused to give in. What kind of person could Edward really be? What kind of mean monster was underneath the mask?

I explained this to my sweet wife, Esme, when she yelled at me for letting Edward simply walk away. She stared at me with a shocked expression. I thought she was shocked because of the fact that her son was a demon, but no, she was angry at me.

"I can't believe this, Carlisle. He's your son!" she screamed and I cringed. Esme rarely got angry. We were in my office and she paced back and forth, a hand on her hip and the other covering her mouth as her high heels hit the floor violently. "This is ridiculous!" she stopped, throwing her hands up in the air.

"Love, please-"

"Don't," she growled. "Don't you dare!" she stopped her pacing. "I…I can understand that you believe he has cheated on her, but… really, Carlisle? A demon? Do you really think so little of him?"

"For the love of God, Esme, don't you see? He's dangerous!" I screamed back and she gasped, shaking her head. "He is, dear. Edward made us think he was good, but he isn't. And once the Volturi find out about him…" I trailed off, refusing to think about it. Esme had her hand over her mouth and a horrified expression on her face. If she could cry, she would. Although I hated to see her sad, this was a good thing. It meant she was finally understanding what I was trying to tell her. I moved to comfort her, but she pushed me roughly, making me stumble, anger returning to her beautiful face.

"Are you that stupid? How can…How can you even…?" she stuttered. "You're talking about your son! How can you be so selfish? Don't you care about his safety?"

"Do you think he's worth it?" I roared. "It pains me, Esme. It pains me knowing someone I love deeply has been lying to me all this time, but he doesn't deserve it."

"You're so obsessed with that idea that you don't see anything else. How can you be so sure he's a demon?" she sneered.

"The legends say-"

"Fuck you, Carlisle!" she screamed. "Fuck you, your stupid theories and those ridiculous legends!" With that she walked away, closing the door with a loud bang, almost breaking it. I sat in my armchair, dumbfounded. Esme _never_cursed.

The next day, as Alice had predicted, the sky was surprisingly clear and the sun shone visibly. I called the hospital, telling them I was sick, pretending casual coughs and sneezes. I took the opportunity to search my wife. She was in the kitchen, baking. I frowned.

"Esme, dear, why are you baking?"

"Because," she snapped immediately, massaging the pasta in her hands more forcefully.

"So, you're still mad at me," I concluded, uncomfortable and not knowing what to do to make things okay. "I'm…sorry?" I tried, but the only thing I received in return was a death glare. Esme dropped the pasta and washed her hands, before rapidly leaving the house. The door didn't close.

Alice's POV

"We need to fix that thing," Jasper said, pointing with his thumb to the door. I nodded, although I didn't care a bit. Carlisle turned to us, sighing and rubbing his cheek in frustration. I gave him a reassuring smile, even knowing it didn't mean anything. The future wasn't certain. What was certain, though, was that he was considering following Mom right now. And from what I was seeing, it wouldn't end up well.

"Dad," I called. "Don't do it. She won't listen to you. Give her some time," he nodded, defeated and climbed the stairs at human pace. We heard then the quiet closing of the door of his office.

Jazz opened his mouth to talk and I let him, even knowing what he was going to say.

"He must have gone mad," he commented, too low for Carlisle to hear.

_Why is that?,_I would ask.

_A demon, Alice? Seriously?,_he would reply. The idea wasn't all that unbelievable. It made sense in a sort of way. Edward had always been able to manipulate people and was probably the best liar I have ever met, so why not? Besides, why would Jacob, of all people, have sex with him? Probably because he was seduced. But no, although the pieces fit together, I didn't believe he had been lying to us since the beginning.

"It's a guess," I said in the same tone. "And not a bad one, but…" I shook my head. "I don't believe he's what Carlisle thinks he is."

"Me neither. He loves us, Alice. I know it," he hissed. I nodded in acknowledgement.

"I do believe he loves us. My reasons to be mad at him are not the same as Carlisle's."

_Then why are you mad at him?,_I saw him asking.

"Isn't it obvious? He cheated on Bella, Jasper. He hurt my best friend. He hurt _me." _To my big surprise (I didn't really see it coming) Jasper laughed bitterly.

I saw a glimpse of him saying _You care more about…_but he wasn't able to finish, because the vision abruptly ended. Now I could not anticipate anything of what he would say, I could only see slight glimpses as he kept changing his mind. I turned to him, frowning.

"Why do you care? Why is the human more important than your own brother?"

"Jasper, they are-they _were_both important, but _he_acted wrong, so now I'm with her."

"Alice, there will be no battle. There's no need to pick sides."

"Damn it, Jazz! Don't you see? She's my best friend. It hurts me that he keeps screwing things up with her. He's constantly hurting her!"

"He doesn't do it on purpose!"

"Oh, so what? He had sex with someone else because he slipped?" I asked, sarcastically. With that, Jasper slid down in his seat, resting his arm on the arm of the sofa, and holding his chin with his hand. He had a thoughtful look on his face, but he obviously wasn't planning to tell me what he was thinking about.

Deciding to break the tension, I moved closer to him.

"Cowboy," I called, sliding my fingers down his arm. He snapped from whatever trance he was in and turned to me. "What are you thinking?" I whispered in his ear.

_Do you know where Emmett is?,_ he asked through the future. I pouted at him, disappointed that my efforts to make things better between us didn't do any good.

"He is hunting with Rose not too far from Forks." He nodded, simply pecking me on the lips with no enthusiasm at all, before leaving the house.

I stared at the empty spot where I had last physically seen him.

We really needed to fix that door.

Emmett's POV

Rosalie sat completely still on the tree branch, legs crossed and arms at her sides. Her golden eyes had no focus. She was concentrated, clearly. She was thinking about the same damn thing she has been for hours. Not everything was bad, though. At least, she wasn't breaking rocks and cursing at the wind anymore. It irritated me quite a lot, to be honest. After all, it was my little brother she was talking about.

My head was a big mess, really. Messier than Edward's hair.

This whole thing about Edward cheating on Bella and getting pregnant in the process was very confusing. I understood his reasons though. Having to hold back all the time so you don't hurt your girl must be difficult. I bet he hasn't been innocent for a long time but only now we found out. A hundred-year-old virgin seems quite impossible. I was happy his balls weren't covered in spider webs, but…

A guy. Edward fucked with a guy. I was just pretending that wasn't freaking me out a little bit. Edward with a belly: I was pretending that wasn't freaking me out either.

In fact, I was pretending I was taking Rosalie's side, because I couldn't deny her basically anything. I had to admit it was frustrating. For three entire hours, she has been pacing back and forth, destroying pretty much of what was around her and insulting our brother. She didn't have the right, in my opinion.

Rosalie didn't give a shit about Bella or the fact that Edward had cheated on her, for that matter. It won't take too long for her to come into my arms, sobbing and telling me how unfair it was. And _then,_she will want to have sex. But I won't do it.

I'm a bit mad at her and I would be a real prick if I fucked her while thinking these things about her. Rosalie is being selfish, irrational, childish. She's envious of Edward - I don't blame her. He has now everything she wants but can't have, but that's not a good enough excuse for treating my bro like shit. Yes, he acted wrongly, but he had his reasons. Edward had always despised this kind of life just as much as Rose does and he had told me once that if there was any way to become human again he would happily do it. That was the same for my wife. If she was a Succubus, she would probably betray me to be human and have a child.

But she's not a Succubus and that's why she's angry.

Deciding to break the tension, I flew to the tree where she was, climbing up until I was on the same branch. I felt it giving up a little, hearing a very low crack, so I moved to another one a little lower.

"So," I started and she blinked, turning to me. "What have you been thinking so hard about?" I asked as if I didn't know. Rosalie sighed and shook her head.

"Nothing," she simply said.

"It's about this whole thing about Edward, isn't it?" She nodded and looked away. "Oh, come on, Rose. Admit it. You would do the same."

"I deserve this. He doesn't," she spoke through gritted teeth and I gaped at her. "What?"

"He deserves this just as much as you or any of us do!" I exclaimed and she scowled. "For God sake, Rosalie, he's your brother!"

"That piece of trash is no brother of mine!" she spat and my eyes widened. I couldn't believe in what I was hearing. This has gone too far and I was sick of it.

"You know what?" I said, throwing my hands up in the air, letting them fall at my sides with a thud. "I sometimes wonder why I even put up with you." Her expression was of shock, but before she could reply, I ended our conversation. "I'm going home. There may be someone rational enough who I can talk to."

Jasper's POV

A demon. A fucking demon. What a joke. Carlisle's mind isn't functioning right, that's for sure. And neither is Alice's. _Never bet against Alice._Eh, why wouldn't I? She didn't see Edward doing…things. No one did. No one knew what really happened. For most of the people in my family, it made perfect sense, but for me…Even though I was pretending I believed this bullshit, the truth was that I knew something wasn't right here.

First of all, the door. It seemed pretty insignificant, but I couldn't get it out of my head. Who had broken it? One of us? Edward? If it was indeed one of us, they would say it. But no one did. And why would Edward break the door? Perhaps an accident? If he did damage it, why didn't he say anything? Why didn't he fix it before we arrived? Fuck, my brother is smart, he would have known what to do. He always has control over things. He can be a bit immature from time to time, but he's loyal, responsible. Something happened, I know it. Something made him lose control. I just didn't know what.

His emotions told me he was hiding something. He was slightly scared, claustrophobic, panicked. And in emotional pain. Very so.

But what could it mean? Truth be told: this was confusing as hell.

I was on my way to Forks when I bumped into my bear brother, who was feeling angry and undecided at the same time. And my gift wasn't needed to know that.

"I've been looking for you, man," I said. "What's going on?"

"I'm just so sick of this," he sounded exasperated. "She's not even thinking right!"

"You're talking about Rose," he nodded. I sat on a big rock, resting my elbows on my knees. Emmett sat on the ground in front of me, Indian-style. "Do you think he really…?" I trailed off, knowing he would be aware of what I was talking about.

"Yeah, I mean…it makes total sense, but I don't give a shit, really. It's his decision," he said, sincerely. I bit the inside of my cheek. "You don't?"

"I don't know. It makes sense to a certain extent, but there's more to it than you guys think."

"What do you know?" he asked, curiously.

"I know that the front door is broken," he nodded. He was aware of the fact. "And that Edward wasn't feeling guilty at all. In fact, he was denying everything internally. He was also a bit scared. Scared of us, that we would hurt him," Emmett furrowed his eyebrows, confused and shook his head. "Yeah, I know. It confuses the hell out of you."

"So he didn't…"

"I don't think so, no."

A moment of silence.

"I'm gonna miss him," he blurted out. I bit my lip, agreeing internally. "I mean, who's gonna play video games with me now?"

"Uh…me?"

"No, Jasper, you cheat."

"Jackass," I muttered under my breath.

When we came back home, we noticed the werewolf scent all around the house. And not just one wolf, there had t be at least four of them.

A week later, Alice told me about the vision she had of Edward having a nightmare in Bella's house. I grew more confused.

A few weeks passed, as this coven slowly fell apart. I couldn't imagine how Edward was dealing with this. How he was dealing with his pregnancy.

When one month had finally gone by, Emmett and I were hunting, when we found someone's clothes. My little brother's clothes. Ripped. And there was a stain of dried blood on the ground next to them.

If I was able to throw up, I would have, but I wasn't, so instead I breathed the first thing that came to my mind:

"Jesus fucking Christ."

Rosalie's POV

It was only three days after our argument that Emmett and I finally talked. Well, we didn't exactly talk, but everything was good between us again. However, his voice repeats what he said to me like a mantra in my head: _I sometimes wonder how I even put up with you._ Now I wonder: how much of a bitch am I really? Has he always thought this about me?

I regret what I said about my brother. It was stupidly silly of me to call him all those names, especially in front of him. I wonder if I hurt him. But I was just so blinded by envy and it hurts so much knowing there is actually a way, but I cannot have it. I should have kept my mouth shut, I knew it. I should have suffered in silence and not let it all out on him and Emmett.

Edward and I are too much alike. We are both impulsive and we sometimes do not choose our words carefully. I have an envy issue. He has an anger issue. We both hate what we are. Well, what I am and he was. And we are both sneaky, persistent, always wanting things to go our way and working hard for it. We're able to manipulate and calculate. We rarely give up. That's why we fight a lot. There's not one stubborn person if there's not another. We always have something to say in return, we _talk_. I like having someone like me to talk to, someone who doesn't back up, who confronts me, who doesn't treat me like a sulky child. Emmett supports me. He _puts up_with my fits. And I appreciate it. He's my mate after all. But everyone else in the family just roll their eyes at me, some even look amused. Edward doesn't. He makes me see some reason. He's a fighter. That's what I like about him. The guy has a strong personality. He's truly a force of Nature.

I totally understand why he would want someone like Jacob. The mutt has a temper. Bella doesn't. She's too soft for him. He had his fun taking care of someone, I suppose, but he must be sick of it. Not that he really likes to be taken care of, it's just really once in a while and I have to admit it does feel good. Besides, she changed him, she made him loose his toughness. Edward needs someone who knows how to hide their feelings, how to cover their weaknesses. Someone like him.

And someone equally clever and good-looking, for God sake.

I hope Jacob changes him into what he was before. Even as a human, I'm sure Edward is capable to hold his chin up in the air and say "I'm the boss". He has it in him. That's just who he is, even though it has been hidden for the last months. But the old Edward will come back. I know it.

I find myself missing him, I really do. I have considered talking to him, but I'm not sure if he he'll want to. Probably not. I acted like a bitch towards him. Besides, it's sometimes sincerely difficult to get him to forgive you, although he normally analyzes the situation carefully, being forgiving most of the time.

Mom is still mad at Dad, who has also gotten frustrated because of her behavior. He spends most of his time in the hospital, but when he's home she leaves. She doesn't talk to him at all. I can see Dad is getting stressed (which is not normal for a vampire, but who am I to talk?). He snaps frequently at us now. Although he doesn't say it, I know he misses Edward, too. A lot.

Alice and Jasper's relationship had better days. My sister spends most of her time shopping and Jasper had the balls to confess he has no patience for that (surprisingly). I have a feeling he's a bit pissed at her. The Cullen boys are pretty united, they're not just siblings, they're best friends. I'm a bit angry myself at Alice. She's being childish, as I was two weeks ago. She loves Bella, but not as a sister, just as a friend. Translation: she loves her as her Barbie doll who she can play with and chooses her over her brother who she has known for more than fifty years.

Emmett and I haven't talked about Edward since then. We've been fucking more than talking. Our relationship has gotten almost awkward. It's like we both want to say something, but we're always reluctant, afraid we'll screw things up again with a bad choice of words.

Our family is not complete without Edward and it's clear as crystal for me: the Cullens are falling apart.

The good thing in the middle of this all? The front door has already been fixed.

Esme's POV

It was times like these that I wished I could cry, I wished there was some way to let it out. I knew that what I was going to do would have a big impact in our family, maybe even destroy it, more than it already was. I loved Carlisle, I loved the old Carlisle with all my heart. But not this man who was irreversibly convinced that my beloved son was a demon. I had tried. I had tried to make him see some reason, but he hadn't listened to me and now we would all pay for it. I hadn't spent much time with my children in the last days. I missed them dearly, it was true, but I knew we wouldn't have a good time together anyway. Our once lovely home was now somber. Something was missing.

Someone was missing.

Edward.

Nothing was the same without him.

I was glad there was someone there for him. All these theories and excuses didn't fool me. I knew he was going through a hard moment. I knew something was very wrong with him.

If I believed he had betrayed Isabella? No, not a bit.

I had considered something heartbreakingly awful. He seemed so broken that it was the first thing that came to my mind. And it gave me chills. I couldn't imagine my son going through something like that and I came to the conclusion it had to be something else. Shape-shifters were stronger than average human men, but there was no way they could overpower a vampire.

Was there?

It hurt me deeply seeing my son so sad, but I wouldn't press him. I would try to figure out what had occurred by myself.

Jacob was a good boy. I knew that in my heart. I was sure he would take good care of my son and love him as he deserved. I had a feeling Jacob was the right person for my Edward and I didn't care that he was a boy. As long as they were both happy, that's what mattered.

I was afraid Carlisle would sign the papers in my hand. I would only show them to scare him, as a rough way to make him listen to me, but I was terrified. What if he accepted?

Carlisle's POV

"Sign them."

I stared at the papers Esme had practically thrown at me, trying to figure out if what was written was English. Even though I knew it was, I found myself unable to get the words together and form coherent sentences in my head. I was sure this was not a nightmare, for vampires did not sleep, so was it reality? Was she really so angry at me that she had the courage to divorce me?

"I'm waiting, Carlisle," she pressed, but her voice wasn't as hard as she was trying to be and neither was her face.

"Come on, Esme," I said quietly and gently. "We both know you don't want this."

"Yes, I do," she retorted, unconvincingly.

"This is hurting you."

"I'll get over it," she shrugged, but her voice gave her away.

"And what about me?" I questioned, my own tone showing my pain.

"Let's make a deal, then." I raised my left eyebrow. "You'll talk to Edward, you'll let him explain and you'll apologize." I gawked, dumbfounded. Apology? "Don't give me that look. If you love me, if you want us to be together-"

"Don't," I snapped. I couldn't believe in what I was hearing. She was trying to blackmail me!

She looked away, unable to contain her sobs.

No, this was someone else's sobs. Esme wasn't moving an inch and the sound was too tiny to be my wife's.

Alice.

My wife and I looked at each other, none of us having a clue about what our daughter was so upset about. It certainly wasn't about clothes.

Alice was in the living room, sitting on the white sofa and hugging her knees to her chest, as her body shook lightly. We sat next to her and I put my hand on her thin shoulder.

"Alice, sweetheart, what's the matter?" she raised her head to look at us, a tortured and guilty look on her face.

"Oh, Dad," she sobbed. "How could we do this to him?"

Rosalie, who, too, was in the room, frowned, confused. She had her arms crossed over her chest. It surprised me she hadn't done anything to comfort her sister. It seemed as she was a bit angry as well. Were these two mad at each other, too? How much had I missed?

"Honey, who are you talking ab-"

Esme was interrupted by the sound of footsteps in the front porch as a very familiar and sweet scent called our attention. Rosalie scowled.

"Human's here."

Alice ran to the door, opening it and threw her short tiny arms around Bella, who grimaced slightly.

"Alice," she choked out, trying to warn her friend about her need for oxygen, but stopped short when she noticed Alice's fragile emotional state. "Alice, what's wrong?" My daughter released the girl and shook her head, coming to sit next to us. Bella followed her. "Can someone fill me in, please?" she pleaded, worried.

"We don't know," Rosalie answered. "I was just here reading a magazine and Alice was watching TV and then I think she had a vision. I think that what she saw made her cry."

"Alice, honey," Esme tried in her usual sweet voice. "Can you tell us what you saw?"

The short girl kept sobbing and shaking her head, refusing to say anything for now. I couldn't think of any way to make her talk.

It wasn't too long after that Emmett and Jasper finally arrived. Neither of them looked good, both with nervous, disgusted and angry looks on their faces. Emmett greeted Bella emotionlessly, which was very unusual of him, and took his place next to Rosalie, who took his hand, squeezing it in a somehow comforting manner. Jasper embraced his wife, obviously overwhelmed by all the emotions in the room. I put my arm around Esme's waist and she, surprisingly, let me.

"Emmett," I said. "Do you two know about something?" They both nodded. Emmett swallowed nervously and Jasper released Alice, frowning. "Do you mind telling us what this is all about?" They looked at each other, both clearly reluctant. My oldest son squeezed his eyes shut and, before Emmett could say anything, all the noses in the room, except Bella's, wrinkled, recognizing the disgusting scent immediately. Jacob Black.

_What is it with people always coming right before we have the chance to know what is going on?_

"Wolf?" Bella asked. We nodded. "Shall I open it?"

"Yes, please," I said. Bella complied and Jacob entered immediately, not bothered by Bella's disappointed face at his lack of good manners.

"Jacob," I sighed, closing my eyes. "Now is not the time."

"Carlisle," Alice called in a small voice and I opened my eyes to look at her. She turned to Jacob. "You knew all along, didn't you?" Jacob nodded.

"We're sort of in a different page, so would you mind telling us what the hell is happening?" Rosalie said sharply. I resisted the urge to scold her, but I had to admit I really wanted to curse out loud myself. The only things I knew so far were that Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Jacob (surprisingly) knew about something terrible and it somehow had to do with the rest of us, who supposedly hurt or put someone in a difficult situation. And that someone was a male. I had no more clues.

Jacob looked at me, his expression dead serious, his heart beating wildly. After taking a few deep calming breaths he opened his mouth and said:

"It's time for you to know the truth."

JPOV

Doc looked at me with his eyebrows furrowed and I shifted my weight uncomfortably. I opened my mouth several times, not knowing where to start and my hands trembling nervously. I looked around, my brain registering each face. Pixie was curled up on the sofa, clutching her chest with a pained and guilty expression. Esme gave me a smile, which turned out to be more of a grimace than anything, so many emotions on her face that I didn't know how to read her. Blondie Bitch hold Emmett's hand tightly, biting her lip, confused. Her mate looked ready to throw up and I swear I could imagine a light green covering his cheeks.

And if I thought Bear looked sick, he had nothing on Joker. The guy looked like he was about to pass out, but still he hold the psychic in his arms. Bella was biting her nails.

"Why don't we all have a seat?" Doctor offered calmly and we complied. I sat in a comfy armchair, resting my elbows on my knees. I rubbed my chin, trying to decide how I was going to do this. The shock might come in the end, I concluded.

"Ok," I breathed. "How much do you guys know about imprint?" Bella smiled slightly. She knew a lot, but not enough.

"Not too much," Carlisle responded for his coven. "Does this have anything to do with what you're going to tell us?"

"Yes," I nodded. "Yes, it does. Ok, for the ones who don't know, when werewolves imprint, it means they've found their mate. It's very powerful and its objective is carrying our genes, so it's only possible to imprint on people who are able to get pregnant," I paused, giving them time to absorb it.

"Please, go on," Carlisle encouraged.

"Imprinting is usually something good; it's supposed to bring happiness to the people in our tribe. I found out, though, not too long ago, that it's possible to imprint on vampires, being them Succubus or Incubus, since they can carry child." A look of realization crossed the doctor's face. Before he could open his mouth to say anything, I told him to let me explain everything first. "This kind of imprint is not good. It's not…healthy. The one who imprints, the werewolf, is always stronger than his imprint. Vampires are not an exception. An Incubus who has been imprinted on can be overpowered by the werewolf and he usually becomes an obsession."

We stayed in silence for a few minutes; I was trying to give them time to put the pieces together.

Then, the most unexpected person started sobbing – Blondie. Emmett embraced her in a comforting way, rubbing her back and whispering soothing words in her ear. Esme was next, but she wasn't being comforted. Her husband was not himself at the moment.

For what I remembered about Doc he had always been a peaceful person, always collected even in the most stressing situations. This could not be the same man. All the items on the small table next to him were being completely destroyed. One by one, they were embraced by his cold hand and, as he slowly closed it into a fist, loud cracks were heard. When he opened it, all that was left was ash. His usual warm expression was replaced by the one of a monster, his eyes narrowed and almost black. Low growls erupted from his chest. And crumpled in one of them, came out the one word I needed:

"Ephraim."

**~Preview~**

"_**You're no God, you don't decide what's good for me and what's not."**_

"_**Oh, as if you could talk!"**_

"_**Ugh, I hate you!"**_

"_**I love you!"**_


	9. You'll still be the sweetest one in town

**A/N: Here it is and I hope you like it, sorry I took so long but I just found this chapter difficult to write. It wasn't corrected by my beta, because I decided to not keep you waiting anymore. Just review and tell me what you think. Thank you.**

JPOV

"Excuse me?" I said, completely oblivious to why the name of my great-grand-father was being mentioned. Carlisle spoke with such venom in his voice that I was sure he wouldn't hesitate in ripping whoever he was talking about to shreds.

Oh, who am I kidding here? We were probably the only group of shape-shifters in the world. It couldn't be a coincidence.

"Jacob," Emmett started. He seemed to be the only one in the room sane enough to talk civilly, but I could see he was struggling to keep calm. The comfort he was providing Rosalie seemed to be the only thing holding him. "Are you _sure _Ephraim Black is dead?"

"Here's the thing: now that Doc mentioned him, I'm not. I mean, there are documents that say-"

"Documents?" Carlisle scoffed, interrupting me. "Jacob, documents don't prove anything. They're paper, _just _paper."

"They're papers that contain important information," I argued. "They exist because people wrote them."

"It doesn't mean what they wrote is true though."

That shut me up. This had somehow turned into a small debate and I didn't even know how it was related to our previous conversation.

"What's your point?"

"Documents, _Jacob." _His voice was harsh. "Don't mean anything in the supernatural world. Documents, _Jacob, _can't prove a werewolf or vampire's death. This means, _Jacob,_ your bastard of a great-grand-father is still alive. And that, _Jacob, _is my point."

Let's see my reactions to this: a) Annoyance, because my name was repeated way too many times; b) Nothing. Numbness. Oblivion; c) _Holy shit_! Ephraim's alive; d) Holy _fucking _shit. It's almost certain he imprinted on Edward, who just happens to be the boy I love.

"He…he imprinted on Ed?"

"Why do you think he accepted to make a treaty?"

My jaw dropped, my spirit baffled. I felt like a fool, really. And here I was, thinking I was very smart and a know-it-all, when in reality, I was just a fool, an ignorant fool. What other things didn't I know? Did the Elders know about this?

I was angry. The only thing keeping me from snapping Doc's neck was the knowledge of the pain it would cause Edward. The fucker knew that his son had been imprinted on. Goddamnit, for a doctor he sure was stupid.

And I couldn't move, I couldn't decide which way to go for a moment, while the wheels churned in my head. There was no chance in hell someone else had hurt Edward. A relative of mine was responsible for his pregnancy and fragile emotion state. And he was out there. I should feel ashamed, perhaps my father would scold me, but I couldn't bring myself to not hate him, to feel disgusted by him, to want to kill him. Why would I feel otherwise? Why would I choose a monster I didn't even know to the boy I loved?

"I'm totally in the dark," Alice's high-pitched voice said. "I can't see him…at all." A pause. "Why were you with him right after it?"

"Sam, Jared, Leah, Quil, Paul and I were on patrol when we found him. Sam and I brought him here while the others tried to follow the scent, but they told me it disappeared because of the rain."

"It doesn't matter," Emmett growled. "We _will _find him. We'll torture him before we kill him." I was slightly taken aback by the fierceness of his voice.

Sensing this, Jasper intervened. "_No one _touches our little brother," he almost snarled protectively.

I laughed bitterly. "Too bad. They already have." At this, the object Carlisle was holding fell from his marble hand. His eyes turned back to normal, his expression clearly changing to pain and guilt. Eh, serves him right. "I think your son deserves an apology…at least." All the eyes in the room focused on me. "Remorse is a bitch, isn't it?"

"Where is he?" Carlisle's voice was strangled.

"He's at my house."

"I have to see him." Concern filled his features.

"Eventually, but not in the Rez."

"I have to see him _now."_

"You know…" I stood up. "I'm only doing this for Edward. Although you don't deserve it, he still loves you and, much to my dismay, he needs you, but don't expect him to run into your arms and forgive you so soon, Doc. He's still pissed at you.

He winced. "I respect that. I just need to see him, make sure he's fine."

"Fine?" I scoffed. "He's far from fine."

Carlisle shut his eyes as if he was in physical pain.

"I really need to see him," he whispered.

If I was a bloodsucker like him I would probably keep torturing him, but damn it, I had a beating warm heart and his agonized face was fucking touching me and although I knew Edward would be mad at me, I knew it would be needed a storm before the sun. And he also needed to be examined.

"I'll do what I can." I turned to leave, but something caught my eye. There Bella was, standing next to the white sofa, both hands covering her mouth, low sobs rocking her shoulders and tears sliding down her cheeks. The sight was heartbreaking. Without a second thought, I grabbed her wrist and pulled her into an embrace which she returned. I rubbed her back, hoping it would ease some of her pain. Some of Edward's pain. We were all suffering with him. Too bad it was just happening now. He needed it earlier. Now what he actually needed was a punching bag. "You can come, too, if you want."

Somehow, things had changed in the last week. The broken, scared boy I had come to know turned into angry, revolted person so quickly it made me dizzy. I haven't held him in the last few days. He would snap at me every time I questioned about his well-being. He always apologized, though, after seeing my hurt expression. He was never rude to my father, Rachel (she had decided to stay at Paul's, whose crush didn't seem to be a crush anymore but more like a…an imprint) or Bella, but he was still pissed at Sam and Paul. I could see how he felt because of simple acts like eating and writing and even his posture. He usually smashed his food with his fork, only to throw it at his open mouth like it was trash. It was two weeks ago that he decided to go on with school after the baby was born, after his life was settled, starting as a senior and do his best to keep up with everything he had forgotten. He hated Maths. Every time there was a too difficult equation he would scribble down with his pen until he ripped the paper. He couldn't stand being in the same position for too long, so he didn't sit down frequently, but when he did, his leg would shake. When he was lost in thought, his knuckles would turn white and he sometimes scratched himself.

I hated this. I hated what this had turned to, how complicated everything seemed to be. How complicated things were because some monster I had once recognized as my great-grandfather chose a vampire to imprint on, because he became completely obsessed with him, abused and impregnated him, because his family misunderstood everything, judged and hurt him, because I had to break my Edward so I could put him back together after it.

And that was the worst part: I _had _to.

That was my reason to drive towards La Push, Bella in the passenger seat of my Rabbit. Maybe she could help me convince Edward into coming with us. I still had hope, it was a very tad bit of hope, but it survived. I knew he would be pissed at me; I knew he would probably tell me to fuck off. The worst part was that I feared he would leave me. I couldn't deny it – I was scared shitless.

Bella's sniffling took me out of my mental rambling. I looked at her briefly and noticed her red and puffy eyes.

"Are you okay?" I knew she wasn't, but I just hoped she was recovering from the bad discovery.

"To be honest." Her voice was thick. "I had already considered it. I saw him having a nightmare and it just…it was the first thing that came to my mind, but I just _couldn't _believe, I refused to believe it. So, I was content with ignorance and…God knows, maybe if I had just been thoughtful and strong for once in my life, maybe…I don't know." Her voice cracked. "Maybe I could have helped him, maybe he wouldn't be so broken by now."

"Bella," I sighed, shaking my head. "You listened to him, you trusted him and offered a shoulder for him to cry on even if you didn't know what was wrong with him. Edward has already told you how grateful he is for that. And he's not the only one." She looked at me, surprised. "I am, too."

"Gosh." She smiled weakly. "It seems it was just yesterday you were at each other's throats."

"Too bad we're good now because of something like this," I whispered.

"You'd eventually fall in love, Jake. That's soul mates for ya."

"You believe in that shit?"

"It's not…that thing you said, it's…I don't know, I thought Edward and I were meant to be together, but now I think soul mates feel something more for each other. Maybe complete. With Edward, I felt _almost_ complete."

"From zero to ninety-nine point nine per cent…?"

"Eighty…fi…no, three. Yes, eighty-three."

_Between you and me it's seventy-five, between Edward and I it's…shit, one hundred per cent._

Edward was sitting on the living room's floor, Indian-style. Piles of books were sprawled on the table, in front of him. He was clearly focused in what he was reading, because he didn't notice our presence. He was biting the tip of his pencil, a habit he had quickly picked whenever he was extremely concentrated. Bella and I sat behind him, on the sofa. I was thinking about how I should approach him, how to tell him.

"Good morning, Jake," he murmured and I blinked, dumbfounded. I could have sworn he wasn't aware I was here.

"Hey, ex-leech," I greeted and he chuckled quietly. I had accidently given him the nickname a few days ago and figured out it was one of the very few things that made him laugh, even though it was half-heartedly.

"Hi," Bella said in a small voice. Edward froze for a second before turning to look at us, smiling. Today, it seemed, he was in a good mood and I immediately felt bad, knowing I would soon ruin it. Edward's smile quickly faded as soon as his gaze landed on Bella.

"What's wrong, Bells?" he said gently, always the caring gentleman.

"Don't worry about it," she waved him off. "I've just been through a dramatic chapter of a novel I'm currently reading." For the first time since I've known her and have been able to witness, Bella lied efficiently.

"Really? What's its name?"

"Uh…" She opened and closed her mouth like a fish and turned to me, her eyes begging me for assistance. I gave her a what-the-fuck look, wondering why she was asking me for help. I wasn't exactly a literature fan. Edward raised his eyebrow at her. "It's…uh…why do you wanna know?" He simply shrugged, seeming confused.

"So…" I decided to change the subject. "What were you studying?"

"Spanish," he answered, tilting his head to the right and narrowing his eyes.

"Do you like it?" He nodded and licked his lips. _God, that tongue…_

"What did you do?" _Fucking ability._

"What do you mean?" I feigned innocence and shifted nervously. He was about to respond when Bella cut him off.

"Hey, Edward, don't you wanna go for a ride or something?"

"Yeah, I guess," he said slowly and turned to her, smiling slightly. "I'm tired of always being at home."

"Then what are we waiting for?"

Bella shut down once we were in the car, her attempts to not look at Edward quite visible to me. Edward, on the other end, wouldn't shut up. Not that I really objected, I loved his voice and the fact that he seemed to be unusually talkative today, for that meant he was probably feeling better than he had in a long time. If it was possible, I felt even worse. Happy days seemed to be a non-frequent thing in his life and I was about to completely destroy one of them. But perhaps a bad mood wouldn't be appropriate either. Scratch that, a bad mood wouldn't be adequate at all.

Right now, he was rambling about the weather and his preferences. Then it shifted to sports – baseball and basketball, how the White Sox seemed to be doing this season, how good Derrick Rose was. It was soon followed by his distaste of anything related to Mathematics, which meant not being too fond of any kind of science. He preferred Languages and History.

Before he knew it, I had pulled into the bloodsuckers' driveway.

He stopped talking, then. His jaw clenched and he pursed his lips.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" His tone, much to my surprise, was casual, trembling too slightly for a human to notice. When I didn't answer, he demanded I stopped the car.

"No," I said, simply.

He scoffed. "Exactly: no, you don't mind stopping the car right this instant. Then, what are you waiting for?"

"No, I'm not stopping the car until we reach our destination."

"Do you need a fucking GPS? You do realize where this road leads, don't you?" I remained silent. "So what? You decided it would be nice to have a tea party at the Cullen's house?" Nothing from my part. "Jacob, stop the car." I shook my head. "I'm gonna jump," he threatened, but I didn't fall for it.

Well, at first I didn't but when I caught a glimpse of his hand on the knob, ready to open the door, I stopped the engine abruptly, sending our bodies forward.

"Are you fucking suicidal?" I snapped at him. He rolled his eyes.

"Don't overreact," he sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. "Why are we here?" I closed my eyes, sighing. Fuck it. He would know sooner or later.

"Your family-"

"They're not my family."

"The _Cullens _know…Edward, they know what happened."

I was expecting an outburst, I swear I was, but I didn't brace myself for silence. Terrifying and perfect silence.

"How?" It was somehow fascinating how he could make the bravest people shiver with one single word.

"I don't know, but they would all find out without my help."

"But you did help."

"It's not like that-"

"You're no God, you don't decide what's good for me and what's not!" he screamed and I flinched, caught off guard. His cheeks were flushing with anger and his eyes held a strange spark.

Before I had time to think, it was out of my mouth and I immediately regretted it: "Oh, you're one to talk!"

"Ugh, I hate you!"

"I love you!" I screamed back. A collective gasp, time stopped, he stared at me wide-eyed, lips parted, begging me to kiss them.

So I did.

It was slow and gentle, almost like a simple peck. I didn't want to push him. He, however, had other ideas and I yelped in surprise when he grabbed my hair and pulled me down, his velvet tongue entering my mouth. I lost myself in his salty taste…chips again? Not that I wanted to complain. I, too, let my tongue explore his mouth, holding his face with my large hands. I swear I saw rainbows behind my lids and I felt a bit pathetic, but Jesus, this boy had an effect on me.

When we parted, oxygen seemed to be the last bottle of water in the desert. Edward's breathing was heavy and fast, while my lungs were already calming down.

"Calmer?" I asked and he nodded slowly, his beautiful green eyes staring at mine, holding me captive. His pupils were dilated. These ones never failed to amaze me, they made him look adorable. "Your family can help you. They want to help you." The words were coming out of my mouth almost involuntarily, my own voice sounded like someone else's. His eyes were hypnotizing. He seemed to be in a trance as well, but nodded nonetheless. It was feeling fantastic, it really was, until someone cleared their throat.

I rarely blushed, or at least I thought I did, but right now, I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks, as Bella tried to contain her smile, which was unexpected for me. I knew she liked to see other people happy, always the selfless lady, but…okay, I thought maybe seeing her best friend and ex-fiancé kissing would make her sad, or at least uncomfortable. Not that I wished she did, but I simply wasn't expecting her current reaction.

Edward looked like a character of a fairytale, with his lovely blush, freckles and cat eyes. I swear if I was a girl I would be squealing by now how adorable he was. But I wasn't, so I settled for grinning at him.

I started the car, now that the air was lighter. Edward stared at his lap, as his leg bounced up and down. He could be nervous…or angry. I just hoped it wasn't the latter.

I was nervous as well, afraid of his reaction once he saw his family. Would he hug them and say he missed them, as a result of the time he was away from them? Would he break down in front of them? Would he tell them what they needed to hear? What he needed to let come out? I was also unsure if I was putting too much pressure on him all at once, not knowing if he would be able to take it.

For him, for me, for the child growing inside him, for the ones who cared about him, I just hoped he did.

We were there, the huge white house in front of us. Again, the terrifying deathly silence made our skins crawl. My arm automatically wrapped Edward's shoulders in a comforting way, but I didn't look at him.

"Doc wants to see you. It's gonna be okay," I assured him.

EPOV

My heart drummed inside my ribcage. Looking at the house in front of me, a place I've called home for far too long, things came crashing down on me. I missed it. I missed the people who lived there. I missed all I had left behind. Deep inside, I knew that it was where I belonged, where I had lived some of my best memories. Although they were vague and blurry, I knew they were happy ones.

I missed my two big brothers. I missed Emmett's jokes and Jasper's ability to calm.

I missed Alice's hyper activeness and her constant cheerful mood and even Rosalie and her bitchiness.

I missed Momma, even though it was just last week I had last seen her.

I missed Carlisle. I missed him with all my heart.

But was I ready to forgive them?

I refused to cry, I refused to panic. It was not too long ago that I had made that decision. I would try to get better, I would try to be a better person, so that afterwards I could be a good father, friend and, if things with Jacob developed, a good lover, too.

I realized that, sometimes, we need to fall, so when we get up, we're stronger.

I wanted to do that. I wanted to get up stronger on my own. I didn't want Jacob to help me, because I knew this was hurting him, because, although he had already fixed a part of me, I knew this couldn't keep on, he couldn't keep watching me suffer.

So, I would be happy. I would leave all the pain behind. I would reborn a braver man, ready to outrun the storms in my path.

But fuck, it wasn't that easy.

The pain and fear were still there but they had somehow decreased and a new emotion took control of my body: anger. With every little movement, with every simple breath I took, I wanted to scream, I wanted to break things, I wanted to kick walls. I wanted to shout loud and clear how I felt to the ones who had hurt me, make them feel bad about it, make them feel my pain. I wasn't against the idea of them knowing. I knew they still loved me, so they wouldn't simply pity me. Their dead hearts would break with remorse, they would hurt. I wanted to hurt them the way they did to me.

And maybe it wasn't just want, maybe it was a need.

Maybe I needed to do all that, get this rage out of me.

And perhaps, the moment had finally arrived.

That's why I climbed up the stairs to the front door. I didn't need their help, I just needed them to hear what I had to say.

I didn't knock. They would know I was here, they would know I wasn't alone, that Jacob and Bella were just behind me. I didn't want them there. I didn't want them to hear this, they didn't deserve it and neither did Esme. I would ask her to leave, for Alice to stop looking for the future, for Jasper to not use his power. We would do this as humanly as possible.

"Momma," I called in a whisper, knowing she would hear me and in less time than I was counting on, she was in front of me. I could hear her sobs, but refused to look at her. She kept chanting my name, murmuring in a broken voice how sorry she was and my fists clenched. I didn't want her pity. "Leave, please," I said in the same tone. "Take Jacob and Bella with you."

"What?" Jacob screeched. "Edward, there's no way I'm leaving you alone with them." I turned to him, my mouth shut so I wouldn't say something I would regret later.

"I'll be fine. They won't hurt me. Not physically, at least."

"I don't trust them."

This time I couldn't contain it. "You made your decision, now deal with the consequences."

"But I thought I would be there-"

"Why would they hurt me?" I shot, knowing there was no argument against it.

"Your blood!" he blurted out, most likely without a second thought and I rolled my eyes.

"If my blood tempted them, Jacob, they would have already attacked me, don't you think?" With this, Jacob shut up and looked away and I wondered if I had been too harsh. Esme stepped in front of me.

"Honey," she said, her hand inches from my face, like she wanted to touch me, but didn't know if it was the right move. "Why?"

"Trust me, you don't want to hear what I have to tell them. It's not directed to any of you three. You've done nothing wrong." Her eyes studied my face for a few seconds before she dropped her hand and nodded. She took Bella's hand, wrapped her arm around Jacob's waist and started walking.

"Why don't we all go for a walk, huh?" she offered, practically dragging them to the woods. Jacob twisted his neck to look at me.

"If you need anything, just scream, ok?" That earned him a muffled laugh, followed by a thumbs up. Once they were out of my sight, I turned around and faced the door, which was not even two seconds after opened by none other than Rosalie, who, for the first time since I could remember, had a heartbreaking pained expression on her face.

"Edward," she breathed. "I'm so sorry." Her voice cracked.

The words got stuck in my throat, along with a small lump. The old me would have consoled her, we would cry together. The new me missed her and her emotional strength and even some of her remarkable comments, but at the same time despised her and couldn't forget her hurtful words. So, I didn't say anything. I stared at her in what I hoped was a cold way.

_Yeah, go, mutt. Go and take that human bastard with you. I'm sure you two will have a great future together._

She had said it. She had stabbed me deep. It was a good enough reason to treat her the way I intended to, right?

I moved past her, with little difficulty. Although her body felt like marble, it seemed as if it wasn't able to tense, with a weak push she would fall.

She had been there. She knew how it felt. That's why she seemed so broken, that's why she felt guilty. She had her revenge, mine still was to come.

They were all there. Four pairs of eyes all staring at me, silently asking me to forgive them. I held my head high and looked at Carlisle, who opened his arms as an invitation.

"Son, welcome home."

Then, I surprised the ones around me and even myself. I laughed. The sound was genuine and not a bit bitter. It quickly became hysterical and I found myself wrapping my arms around my stomach. And Jasper had nothing to do with it. It was all me.

"Ow, shit," I doubled over, because of the ache in my stomach. "Oh, my God." I wiped the water that was threatening to leave my eyes. "Oh, Carlisle, y-you're hila-hilarious!" They all looked at me as if I had grown two heads and that made me laugh more. "Wait, wait, wait, Doc, let's see if I got this straight," I said once my laughter had died down, but it was interrupted by small chuckles. "So, you make up this ridiculous story, go around telling your family I was some repulsive whore, make no effort to know where I am or if I'm okay, let alone find out what really happened and then, you want me to run into your arms? Is that correct, _daddy_?" I teased. Carlisle's face made my heart stir a bit, but I ignored it. I couldn't let myself weaken right now, not in front of them. He shook his head and opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. I smiled. What could he deny? Everything I had said was true. "It hurts, doesn't it? It hurts like a bitch when someone you love cuts you deep."

"I'm sorry," he croaked.

"You're sorry," I crossed my arms over my chest. "You know, a lot of people have said the same thing. The funny thing is that none of them means it."

"I-I didn't know. I wouldn't have done what I did if I knew."

"Doesn't matter!" I screamed, losing control of my emotions. "I don't give a shit what you _would _do. It's what you _did _that I can't forget."

"It just made sense. I-"

"Again, I don't give a shit! Even if it had been true there was no reason to give me the cold shoulder. You fucking forgave me for killing people, for God sake! I know Bella is like a daughter to you now, but…seriously, Carlisle? Here comes a human fragile girl who needs people to pay attention to her and she immediately replaces me? I'm not even blaming her, it's not her fault. I'm blaming you. What is this? Pity? Or you're afraid it will weigh on your conscience if you don't help me? Don't bother, really. If I mean so little to you and if you don't care about me, then I can leave now. You've already apologized."

"Edward." He looked horrified. "What makes you think I don't care about you? Bella could never replace you, son. I love you with all my being."

"Then, why?" I stomped my foot, frustrated, as the first traces of moisture filled my eyes and I cursed internally at myself for it. "Why?"

"I thought…I thought you had lied since the beginning, that you were manipulating us."

Maybe someone should take a picture of my face, I thought, it must have been priceless. Carlisle's imagination had to be endless, that was for sure. Or maybe I deserved this. How much bad could I had done to make him think something like that?

"What?" I breathed out.

"The legends say an Incubus is a demon and that they're capable of seducing people and I…I…it made sense…"

I turned around, walking baby steps, cautious, so I wouldn't fall, because in that moment, my legs felt like jelly. The room suddenly felt smaller and I found it more difficult to breathe. The moisture in my right eye left a trail on my cheek. _It made sense. _I knew who I was, I had closed that wound a long time ago, I had stopped blaming myself, hating myself. I had started respecting myself. What impression had I given as a vampire? Had I been so bad Carlisle didn't even trust me?

_Compose yourself._

I wouldn't let this get to me so much. I was good. I was a good person. Fuck Carlisle. He's the bad guy here. Not me.

"Say something," he pleaded. I turned around and looked at him in the eye.

"You want me to say something? How about this: Carlisle, you are the _biggest_ douche I have ever met," I said slowly and put as much venom in my words as I could. I was done with him. He heard what he had to. I turned to look at the rest of the group of vampires. My eyes landed on Alice's petite frame. Jasper was not using his power and she wasn't looking into the future. I could only guess she had seen my decision to ask her to not do it.

In Carlisle's eyes, I was more important than Bella, but I doubted Alice felt the same way. It didn't surprise me. She was spoiled, she threw people away when they weren't as much fun to be around with. My "betrayal" was the perfect excuse to not put up with me anymore. Well, why not have some fun myself? Maybe tease her a little?

"Hello, Alice," I greeted as sweetly as possible. "Did you have fun while I was away? I bet you did. Poor Bella, I can only imagine what she's been through while you played Bella Barbie with her. But it has nothing on what _I _have been through, does it? Did you laugh at me, too?"

"Edward." She shook her head, her face contorted in pain. "I…I'm sorry."

"Oh, great, another one." I rolled my eyes. "As if you mean that. You couldn't care less if I stabbed myself, as long as you had your human doll to dress up."

"That's not true, you know it. Of course I care about you."

"Oh, yeah? What about that vision you had of me having a nightmare?"

Her eyes widened in surprise. "How did you…?"

"Esme told me. She heard you and Jasper talking about it. Neither of you cared."

"Hey, hey, get your facts correct," Jasper intervened and I raised my eyebrows, wondering what he meant and also why he was so quiet while I was speaking to his wife. "Emmett and I were suspicious."

"Ah, thanks a lot," I said sarcastically.

"_We _cared, Edward. We've been trying to find the truth for a long time." I looked at Emmett and he nodded. "We were hunting today when we found your clothes."

I drew in a sharp breath.

"I'm sorry we didn't talk to you sooner, but we just thought that maybe you needed some time to yourself and it would be better to find out what really happened before speaking with you."

"Thank you," I said sincerely. Knowing this new information made me feel better. "I'm glad to hear my big brothers still trust me."

"C'mere." Emmett walked towards me with open arms and I couldn't hold it anymore. I run to him, colliding with his hard chest and wrapping my arms around his waist. His embraced my shoulders and he pulled me to him, making me stand on the tips of my toes – Jeez, bro, what happened to your height?" I chuckled into his chest.

"Transformation's secondary effects."

"Yeah, yeah, call it secondary effects. You don't fool me, this is your real height."

"Oh, shut it. I bet you weren't that tall when you were human either."

"At least I stood above six feet."

"God, Emmett, five ten, five eleven, six feet, there's no big difference."

He snorted. "Right."

"I missed you," I confessed, already getting emotional.

"I missed you, too, little bro, this house isn't the same without you." He released me. My heart almost jumped out of my chest when I spotted Jasper next to him.

"Man." I put my hand over my chest. "Don't do that again."

He chuckled. "Don't I deserve a hug, too?" He opened his arms. I pretended to think for a bit and he gave me an annoyed stare, but smiled nonetheless. I hugged him and only then I noticed the temperature difference between us. It seemed as if I had gotten used to it easily.

I still couldn't understand how these two managed to make someone smile with such simple acts in the worst moments. I couldn't have asked for better brothers.

A sharp pain in my stomach interrupted the moment and I couldn't help the hiss that escaped me. In less than a second the pain multiplied and I grabbed Jasper's shirt to contain the cry that threatened to come out. My knees gave out, but before I could fall more than a few inches, someone caught me in their arms from behind and scooped me up. I could tell they were walking and could hear voices talking hastily, but I couldn't make out what they were saying. The pain was unbearable. Much worse than the last times I had experienced it. My stomach felt like it was exploding repeatedly. I could hear screams and pants. My head was starting to throb and my lungs couldn't get enough oxygen.

I wasn't being scooped in cold hard arms anymore; I was on a soft surface. I opened my eyes, but my vision was blurry. I felt an icy hand on my cheeks.

"…dward, can…hear me?" My eyes seemed to gain some focus and I was able to make out Carlisle's golden eyes and blonde hair, the rest was a sea of white and black.

"D-dad?" I choked out, gasping.

"I'm here."

When this happened Jacob was always there and now I had to recognize this was my mistake, I had been the one that made him leave. It seemed as if the baby somehow knew Jacob was there when he needed, that he was asking him to calm down.

But he wasn't here and I had to think despite the pain I was going through in that moment. After all, _I _was the father and I should be able to make things better for my little angel.

An idea occurred me and it seemed silly at first, but it was the first thing that came to my mind and I _had _to do something to make it stop. I began singing internally.

_Hush, little baby, don't say a word_

_Papa's going to buy you a mockingbird_

The pain was barely decreasing.

_And if that mockingbird won't sing_

_Papa's going to buy you a diamond ring_

It still hurt like hell, but my vision seemed to come back to normal. Only then I noticed I was gripping Carlisle's hand. Jasper, Emmett, Alice and Rosalie were all there eyeing me with concern and panic. Rosalie seemed scared. For what I could see, I was in my bedroom.

"And if…" I paused, taking a few deep breaths, trying to control my breathing. Carlisle stared at me, confused. "…the diamond ring tur-turns…brass…" My voice was strangled and I realized I wasn't singing, the lyrics were coming out more like a statement. "…papa's going to buy you…a-a…looking gla-glass," I sighed the last word, feeling suddenly drained. The pain had reduced considerably, being now a simple dull ache. I closed my eyes, my breathing slowed and I felt the bed shift. I was being pulled into a strong embrace, my forehead resting against a solid chill chest.

"If that looking glass gets broke," he sang quietly, his voice almost a murmur next to my ear. "Papa's going to buy you a billy goat."

"Dad," I sighed. "I'm sorry." And I was. I had hurt him, too. And after you hurt someone, you apologize, no matter what. I was no longer mad at him. I had taken it off my chest. I had said what I had to. And it felt good. I felt good. Although I was physically exhausted, I felt, at the same time, emotionally strong, peaceful.

I didn't want to stay away from my family anymore. We had hurt each other in a somehow monumental way, but we still loved each other. It was time for peace, for all of us to surrender and forget our previous actions. Some say forgetting is not healthy, that it is not the right away to solve things. I didn't completely disagree. From these tragedies and problems, it always comes something good, there's always a moral. That's why we shouldn't completely erase it from our minds, but I refused to linger on the subject.

Things get better when we want them to, when we make a decision that will change it all.

I made my decision.

I would forgive my family. I would take a step forward in my and Jacob's relationship or whatever you want to call it. I would be happy.

Because I wanted to.

And damnit, when Edward Cullen wants something, he gets it. Period.

I didn't know where I would live yet. Billy and Jacob have been amazing and I couldn't be more grateful, but I believed it was time to come back to where I belonged to. My house. My home. Jacob and I could still see each other whenever we wanted to and, honestly, I preferred it that way. If things did develop between us I didn't want us to live in the same house. I wanted things to be normal and healthy and let's face it: two teenagers living in the same house don't fit in those categories. I wanted us to smile every time we saw each other. I didn't want this to become sickening and obsessive like it had with Bella.

"If that horse and cart falls down, you'll still be the sweetest one in town," he finished and gently kissed my head.

And with this lullaby sung not just for my baby but also for me, I fell into a peaceful sleep.

**Sorry, no preview :/ I have nothing planned yet.**


	10. I love you too

EPOV

I had learned, not too long after I turned human, that sleeping in your day clothes wasn't good. It made your body feel stiff and even slightly sore and sometimes itchy, depending on the fabric. My cotton sweatshirt definitely helped, but still it would be better if I had put on a T-shirt or something. My jeans, though, spoiled the scheme. Denim + bed + turning around God knows how many times during a nap equaled to a very unpleasant feeling on my leg's skin. Someone must had taken off my sneakers and put me under the covers and maybe placed a heater next to me, which was strangely feeling good (I didn't know heaters could be made of such a soft material), but I had an inkling the disgusting smell all over me was my own sweat. It didn't surprise me that I hadn't woken up during the process, because even if it hadn't been an efficient vampire doing it, I wouldn't be disturbed during my sleep, unless my own mind did it by replaying a nightmare. If it wasn't for my constant turning, some would think I was in a coma, because the house could fall down and I would only wake up once I was dead. If that made any sense…

Modern technology is, hands down, amazing. I didn't know it had developed to the point when heaters had their own fantastic scent and arms capable of massaging your head. Okay, okay, let's stop it, I'm not that dense, I know it's Jacob.

"I need to take a shower," I mumbled groggily. He snickered.

"That you do."

"I sweat like a pig and you think it's funny, but I'm tellin' ya: it's not." My words were muffled by the comfy pillow under my head, as I tried to contain my sleepy smile.

He snorted twice, imitating a pig. I burst into giggles (not girly giggles, manly giggles, well, not really manly, more like boyish. Oh, fuck, you know what I mean).

"Doc told me what happened." His voice took on a serious tone. "You should tell your kid to be more careful."

"He's careful when you're here." I opened my eyes and blinked a few times to adjust my vision and then realized he and I were face to face. "He already likes you."

"Oh yeah?" He raised an eyebrow, smirking. I rolled my eyes playfully, but nodded nonetheless. "Then maybe he'll listen to me." He touched my small one-month tummy with his right hand and looked down. "Hey, buddy," he greeted and I laughed softly. "I know you wanna be a famous soccer player and all, but your daddy here is not a ball, so it would be nice of you if you stopped kicking him." A pause. "Okay? Thank you."

"Who said he's a boy?" I chuckled.

"You did. You keep saying 'he'."

"That's because I don't know the baby's gender yet. He can be a she."

"There are feminine soccer teams, y'know."

"Yeah," I cackled. "I know." My subtle laughter died when I remembered something. I felt all warm inside just thinking about it. Jacob had said he loved me and I certainly believed him. Our relationship was each day stronger and our feelings were mutual. Now that he had admitted it, it seemed fairly easy for me to do the same. Besides, he deserved it. "I forgot to tell you something," I whispered, but cleared my throat for the next part. I wanted to tell him loud and clear how I felt. Jacob stared at me, expectant. I smiled, knowing my next words would change some things in our lives for the better. "I love you, too."

Jacob's grin made my day and I couldn't help but grin back, but I was sure mine was goofy, because his perfect teeth framed by his full dark lips were dazzling me. I leaned in, confident of what I was doing, and planted a chaste kiss on the side of his mouth.

"So what are we now?" he asked, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me to him.

"Boyfriends?" I suggested. He nodded.

"That seems good. Edward Cullen, would you like to be my boyfriend?"

"Why are you asking?" I chuckled.

"Just to make it official."

"Okay, then. I'd love to be your boyfriend. And you Jacob Black, would you give me the honor of being my boyfriend?"

"Of course, dude," he answered, with a peace-and-love voice and I laughed out loud. "We should sell the deal with a kiss, y'know."

"Ugh," I hid my face in the crook of his neck. "This sounds so cheesy."

"What about a make-out session?" he said half-jokingly and I swatted his arm playfully.

"Asshole," I mumbled. In a sudden second he jerked away slightly, making a strange noise that I could only describe as a grunt. "What?"

"Nothing," he snickered. I furrowed my eyebrows, even though he couldn't see me. "Stop it."

"Stop what?"

"Just…don't blink," he pleaded, chuckling lightly.

"I can't…" he snickered again. "…help it." That's when I understood what was happening and chuckled silently. Without any type of warning, I fluttered my eyelashes and got what I wanted: he giggled. "Are you ticklish?"

"No," he said, but I could tell he was lying. I did it again. He moved his neck away from me, cackling. "Now you're doing it on purpose," he pointed his finger at me, accusingly.

"So you _are_ ticklish."

"No," he replied in a convincing tone, but it wasn't enough to trick me.

"Why won't you admit it? There's nothing to be ashamed of," he laughed.

"And you're just saying that because you're ticklish, too."

"Really?" I asked, because, to be honest, I didn't know yet. Faster than I expected, Jacob's hand shot to my neck and he moved his fingers. I giggled, shutting my eyes and tilting my head, blocking his hand. So, yes, I was ticklish. It was a weird feeling; a funny and uncomfortable one at that and any type of laugh seemed unavoidable. He did the same just above my ribs and I squirmed, laughing out loud. "Okay, I got the point," I said, as he leaned in, brushing his lips against mine softly. My eyes closed automatically and I crashed my lips to his more forcefully, savoring his spicy taste and the happiness and peace of the moment. I pulled away slightly and brought my hand to his cheek, caressing it. He, too, lifted his and let it fall on the top of my head, ruffling my hair slowly and gently.

"Your hair is really cool," he commented and I furrowed my eyebrows, trying not to smile.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes," he nodded. "It's strange but it's cool. It's really thick and soft. It feels like silk."

"It's all messy," I complained.

"It fits you."

"How so?"

"Uh…" He huffed. "I don't really know. It just…does. It makes you even more beautiful." I smiled, happy with his confession. Although not directly, he had called me beautiful and even though I knew I wasn't, it felt good to know that in his eyes I was. "And then the color is really weird, I've never seen anything like it, but I think it resembles the autumn."

"Wow, Jacob, you just used a figure of speech! I think you're becoming a poet," I joked.

"Shut up," he laughed. "What have you got anyway, smartass?"

"Your eyes…" I started, not knowing what to say next. "Your eyes, …uh…"

"My eyes?" He smirked.

"Hush, I need to concentrate." I pinched his arm.

"Ow!"

"Your eyes remind me of hazelnuts," I blurted out. He shook his head with mock disappointment. "It's not like yours was that good," I retorted. "Okay, let's just be honest," I chuckled. "We suck at this."

"Well, you shouldn't. You're a compulsive reader."

"No, I'm not," I said, confused. I liked reading, but there was no way I was some bookworm.

"Then why are there so many books in your room?"

I tilted my neck and looked around. There were, indeed, a lot of books in the room.

"Because a vampire's life is boring and there're not many things besides reading to fill your schedule, but now I can't remember much of what I read."

"I don't understand how someone could want to be bitten."

"Me neither."

"I heard it hurts like hell to become a bloodsucker."

"Literally. It feels like you're on fire."

It was in this kind of moments that I cursed my own mind and my memories. It seemed as if I couldn't forget the worst things that had happened to me, but I wasn't even aware of some good and important ones. Things that I could classify as useful had to be taught and explained, because I couldn't remember them, while awful events were resident subjects in my mind.

"This may seem pathetic, but I couldn't stop crying for my mother."

"It's not pathetic. It's normal. We all do in that type of situation."

"Even you?" I asked. He fidgeted uncomfortably and it took me a moment to understand what I had just said. I knew Jacob's father and sister (who was a really nice girl, by the way) and I knew he had another sister living in Hawaii, but I didn't have a clue about his mother's whereabouts, that is, if she was alive at all. I could see this wasn't something he liked to talk about. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry."

"You didn't."

"When?" I questioned quietly, now sure, by his expression, that the woman that gave birth to him had indeed passed away.

"I was eight. It was a car accident." His voice was thick and his eyes were watery. I didn't know what to say. I hated seeing Jacob like this and knowing that he, too, had gone through something heartbreaking. And Billy and Rachel. They were all incredibly kind people and didn't deserve that kind of suffering.

"I'm sorry," I said, finally, but it sounded sad and all I wanted was to make it up to him. "But you know what? I bet she's up there clapping at you. I'm sure she's really proud of you." His eyes immediately lit up like a child's on Christmas' day and I couldn't help but grin at his adorable expression. I reached up and kissed his forehead, before resting mine against his. There was something Carlisle had told me when I was a newborn about the death of my biological parents and I would remember it until the day I died (completely). It seemed proper to say it in that moment. "One less lovely human on Earth, one more beautiful angel in Heaven," I whispered. He stared at me, stunned, before attacking my lips with his own. When he pulled away, I laid my hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat under my palm. It was strong and steady. "We all need a mother when she isn't physically there, but your real one, the one who loves you unconditionally is always inside your heart. There's no reason not to cry out her name when you feel the need to do so. Not just your mother, it can be your dad, one of your sisters or all of them.

Jacob shook his head, a small smile gracing his lips and his hand found his way to my shoulder where he let it rest.

"I wish I had really known you sooner," he whispered.

"I'm still here," I murmured. "It's never late."

"I know," he sighed. "But I wish I hadn't been so judgmental towards you before this all happened." I raised an eyebrow at him. What was he talking about? "You don't remember?"

"What?"

He shook his head and closed his eyes. "Never mind."

Curiosity got the best of me. "No, now that you started it, you have to finish it. I wanna know," I said, firmly. I knew that Jacob and I had hated each other before…I tried not to shudder. I sometimes still panicked over it. Translation: I always panicked at least a bit if I thought about it.

Now thinking about it, I didn't exactly remember why Jacob had hated me. And honestly, I didn't know why my feelings had been mutual either. Bella could be the main reason, but surely such hatred couldn't be out of mere jealousy.

One second.

"Oh…I got it," I blurted out. "Mortal enemies and stuff." He gave me an amused look, but it didn't last long and was then replaced by a serious expression.

"You remember Leah's brother, Seth?" I nodded. How could I forget? Oh, right, memory loss. But I did remember the kid. He was such a good soul. "He actually likes you…as a friend, of course," he rushed out.

"Did the others get along with me or my family, too?"

"No." He shook his head. "What I'm trying to say is that all of us could have made an effort to just get to know you guys a little better or simply not think about you the way we did. If Seth could do it there was no excuse for our behavior. Most of us still think the kid is naïve-"

"He's not naïve," I cut him off. "Far from that. He's actually really smart. He has a very interesting mind. He…understands, y'know? He doesn't judge my family because he tries to see from their point of view." Jacob looked away for a few seconds and licked his lips before settling his gaze on mine.

"How does it feel?" he asked, almost shyly.

"For a normal vampire, it's fascinating. They love the power, the strength, the beauty. They love watching their innocent victims' plead for mercy," I spoke through clenched teeth. "It's disgusting," I whispered. "But the Cullens and Denalis..." I shook my head. "None of us chose this. None of us wanted this. And it tears you apart when you look in the mirror and all you see is a monster. It tears you apart knowing there's no turning back and that you'll just have to be like that forever, that you can't cry, sleep or eat. And it hurts so much when someone you love just throws away a normal life, a normal family and everything you ever wanted like it was trash just before your eyes. And it's so frustrating having to hold back all the time not to hurt them. And you just hate yourself because you're a fucking moving corpse that sucks away life and because as much as you don't want to you can't help but imagine how good it would feel to taste human blood." It took me a moment to realize I had silent tears running down my cheeks, which Jacob gently wiped away with his thumbs, his face shocked. "I'm sorry," I sniffled, apologizing for my outburst.

"N-no,_I_ am sorry. If I knew that was how you felt I wouldn't have treated you the way I did."

"How could you know?" I shrugged. "You couldn't read my mind," I tried to lighten the atmosphere.

"Neither could Seth, Edward. Why do I always have to be so damn impulsive?"

"Uh…good question," I chuckled, mocking him. He smiled at me and pulled me in for another kiss. When we broke it, I threw my arm around his waist.

"And why do you always remember the worse things?"

"To hell if I know," I sighed, moving closer to him so that our bodies were pressed against each other. His skin was soft, but his body was hard and muscular. And beautiful. Now that we were both in silence, simply enjoying each other's presence, I was reminded by an awful odor that I still needed to shower. Today I needed to do a lot of things, but first I had to take care of my physical needs. "Hey, Jake, aren't you hungry?" I felt his chin move up and down against my forehead. "Then why don't you go downstairs and grab something? You can even ask Esme to cook something for you. I need to take a shower and I'll be there after I finish, okay?

"Okay," he whispered, pulling away. I leaned in for a kiss. Our tongues simply relaxed against each other as our lips did the work. My hands fisted in Jacob's hair, while his moved up and down my back. This is heaven, I thought. It was pure happiness and peace. I couldn't help but smile against his lips. I broke the kiss, breathless. Jacob pecked my forehead.

"Don't take too long," he almost panted.

I closed my eyes. "I won't."

I watched him cross the room only in his denim shorts, hanging his sneakers on his right hand. He opened the door, but before he walked out he turned to me with what was supposed to be a seductive look, which I just found amusing.

"Hasta la vista, baby," was the last thing he said before stepping out and closing the door behind him, leaving me laughing uncontrollably on my king-sized bed.

This boy never failed to amaze me.

I was used to quick showers in a small bathroom accompanied by the usual breakdowns, the sound of my sobs muffled by the water running. I wondered if Jacob had been able to hear any of it. Showers were, for me, the perfect occasion to simply let it go, do what we wanted to. No wonder there were people who had the habit of singing while washing themselves. But right now, there were no tears, only sighs of contentment.

Well, maybe it was because I was having a bath instead.

Jacob's plea to not take too long must have fallen deaf on my ears, but he would understand. I was enjoying myself right now, inside the huge bathtub, my body covered by warm perfumed water and foam.

I felt like a fucking prince.

I had used at least a bit of every single shampoo and body wash in the bathroom. My hair smelled of a strange mix of fruits and flowers. And chocolate. I couldn't forget the chocolate. My body, on the other hand, carried by now a jumble of other fragrances like oats, cashmere and well, body wash. All in all, bittersweet.

A foam bubble floated in the air and I watched it carefully until it reached the smooth surface of the edge of the bathtub, popping ever so softly and disappearing.

It was official. Jacob and I were boyfriends. I resisted the urge to say it out loud to see if it would make it more real. Well, of course it is, I remembered. We even asked each other and sealed it with more than one kiss. Snap my neck if it wasn't one of the most amazing moments in my entire life.

I couldn't ask for a better person to love me. This didn't just made my day, this made up for weeks of silent suffering.

Life was rolling on the right path. Soon I would be entirely happy. I could feel it.

I knew I would never forget what had happened that day in the woods and there were certainly a lot of things that still needed to be solved. But as long as I didn't think about that unfortunate day, everything seemed to be fine. I just needed time. Time would seal my wounds eventually.

Not planning on leaving the house, I put on a pair of grey sweatpants and a plain white T-shirt. It wasn't my intention to impress anybody and I was in my house, after all. Besides, I didn't want to make the same mistake and accidently fall asleep with jeans on. Today I just felt like cuddling up with Jacob.

As soon as I entered the rarely used kitchen, the smell of bacon and eggs assaulted my nose and my stomach grumbled quietly. Only now I realized it had probably been a long time since I had last fed. Long time meant this morning, of course. For a vampire it would mean three or four days.

"Well, good evening, sir," Esme greeted with a loop-sided grin. My eyes widened. How long had I been asleep?

"What time is it?" I asked, noticing she had an apron on.

She threw a quick glance at the clock on the wall before answering. "It's a quarter to seven, dear. You could have figured that out for yourself," she chuckled.

"Eh, I'm just too lazy," I joked and looked around, my gaze settling on the table where I found a full plate with eggs and bacon, along with a glass with orange juice. My mouth watered. "Is this for me?" I pointed at them. Esme nodded, smiling and I sat on a chair and started eating. As I expected, it was delicious and I _had_ to ask for more, only then killing my hunger. Esme commented about my overwhelming smell and I realized maybe I shouldn't have used so much hygiene products because of their too sensitive noses.

"Trying to impress someone?" she questioned, amused. I shrugged, but failed to contain my blush.

"Where's Jacob?"

"He's in the living room with your brothers." She took my plate and glass, placing them on the sink. I stood up.

"I'll just go and see what they're up to," I informed half-truthfully (it was a good enough excuse to see Jacob again) and turned to leave, but before I could step out of the kitchen, Esme called my name. I twisted my neck to look over my shoulder at her.

"I'm really happy for you and Jacob," she said. I smiled.

"Me, too. And thanks."

The three boys turned simultaneously to look at me. I thought I saw a distressed expression on each of their faces, but I wasn't sure, because they were now staring at me expressionless, except Jacob who couldn't hide his smile. I returned it, sitting next to him on the couch.

"Dude," Emmett said. I turned to see both he and Jasper wrinkling their noses. "Why so much fragrance?" I shrugged and turned to Jacob ignoring them. "It's bad enough as it is with the dog here." This time I turned to look at him, fury taking over me. I grabbed the collar of his shirt, bringing his face to mine and giving him my best scaring glare.

"Call him dog one more time and I'll bite," I sneered, only to frown soon after as all of them burst out laughing. "Ok, I won't bite, but I'll make your life hell, got it?" Jacob was the only one who found it funny. Emmett and Jasper knew what I was capable of. I decided to tease him a little. "Now, Emmett, be nice and polite," I said sweetly, straightening his collar. "Apologize," I commanded. He gulped and looked down.

"I'm sorry for calling you a dog, Jacob," he mumbled like a child after being caught. I grinned evilly, content with the results. But I wasn't finished yet.

"Say 'Jacob, you're not a dog'." He raised his head to glare at me, but I simply glared back warningly.

"Jacob, you're not a dog."

"Say 'you're a very sweet person'."

Emmett furrowed his eyebrows, confused, but complied anyways. "You're a very sweet person."

"Tell him you like him very much."

"Wha-"

"Tell him!"

"Jacob, I like you very much."

"And that you want to marry him." I tried to sound authoritarian, but it came out between chuckles.

"Oh, come on!"

"Okay, okay," I laughed. "That's enough. Good boy." I ruffled his hair. Emmett huffed and Jasper snickered. Jacob was staring at me, dumbfounded, but I could see he, too, was amused. I shifted closer to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and laying my head on his shoulder. He brought his hand to the top of my head and let his fingers play with my reddish hair.

"You smell good," he commented.

"I'm glad someone thinks so," I cackled. Someone cleared their throat. I looked at my bear brother, who was watching us, visibly uncomfortable. Emmett was a very cool guy, he really was, but if someone in the family didn't approve of my and Jacob's relationship, that would be him. Not because Jake was his "mortal enemy"; it was because he was a boy. I didn't believe he would feel disgusted by it, but it would definitely take a while until he could completely accept it.

"So…" he started. "You, him…"

"We're dating," I clarified, knowing it wasn't needed. He had probably heard our whole conversation.

"That's…" he narrowed his eyes, searching for the right word. "…weird."

"You'll get used to it eventually," I assured him.

"Yeah." He nodded. "I hope so."

"Em, let's go hunting. I'm starving," Jasper said with false enthusiasm. He was definitely not starving; his eyes were almost yellow. I knew he was dragging Emmett with him to leave me and Jacob alone. It couldn't be more obvious, he fucking winked at me before he left. But why did I have a feeling there was something else? That they would do something else? And that Jacob knew?

"They didn't go hunting, did they?" I asked, quietly. Jacob shook his head, but I could see he wouldn't give me more details. I decided to drop the subject for now. It was probably something I didn't want to know anyway.

He yawned loudly and I frowned, only now noticing the dark circles under his eyes. He had been on patrol the previous night and I was sure he hadn't gotten any sleep today.

"Are you tired?" He nodded slowly. I made my way to the other side of the couch, sitting and patting my lap. He laid on his side, facing the opposite wall, his head on my lap, as I ran my fingers through his dark hair gently. I caressed his cheek from time to time and within minutes his breathing evened out and I knew he had fallen asleep. I watched his torso and shoulder rise up and down rhythmically, until I was distracted by a flash of blonde in my peripheral vision. I turned my head and faced Rosalie who sat in an armchair, nervous.

"Hey," I murmured. She raised her eyes and looked at me, surprised. She probably thought I was still mad at her. I had to get things clear, because I wasn't. I knew she had the tendency to act impulsively when blinded by envy and I didn't blame her. She regretted it and she had already apologized. Besides, I respected her for knowing what I had been through.

"Can we talk?" she asked, timidly. I nodded and lifted Jacob's head, careful not to wake him up. I slowly stood up and laid it after grabbing a pillow and putting it under his skull. Rosalie seemed confused by my actions.

"Not here," I explained lowly.

We ended up in her bedroom. We both sat on the bed next to each other, silent, not having a clue how to start. I decided to make the first move, since she seemed to be struggling. "I don't want you to think I'm mad at you." She looked at me, caught off guard. I shook my head. "I'm not." Instead of relief, I found disbelief.

"Why?" she whispered.

I shrugged. "It wasn't you, Rosalie. It wasn't you who hurt me the most. I…understand. When I just ignored you earlier today… I was pissed at everyone and I _needed_ to make them suffer, but I didn't say anything to you because…because there wasn't anything to say. Because you had different reasons and I understand them. Besides, you didn't surprise me."

"So I'm forgiven?"

"Yes," I smiled warmly.

She smiled back. "So, are you ready to be a daddy?"

I nodded. "You can be the Godmother," I offered. Her smile grew impossibly huge. She was practically beaming.

"Really?"

"Yes, really," I laughed. She threw her arms around me and I hugged her back.

After releasing me, Rosalie looked down at my stomach, thoughtfully.

I gently grabbed her cold hand and placed it on my small covered tummy. She gasped. When she looked up, her eyes were glistening and I knew she would be crying if she could.

"Thank you," she whispered truthfully.

For many, Rosalie was a bitch. I disagreed deeply. She was slightly bitter, that was certain, but, after all, who wouldn't with a story like hers? She could be intimidating when she wanted to and had the tendency to scare away people she didn't trust, but once you got to know her, you would gladly enjoy her company. Well, when no one mentioned sore or too serious subjects, that is.

"Edward," Carlisle called, before I could climb down the stairs.

"Yes?" I turned around. He walked towards me confidently, in contrast with what I had seen earlier.

"Can I have a word with you in my office?"

_Something in the back of my mind tells me you won't be the only one wanting to "have a word" with me._

"Sure."

It figures Carlisle wanted to talk to me about my and the baby's health. After examining me the only way a vampire doctor could, he proceeded to explain to me a few things about my pregnancy. If I were a woman (a normal one at that), I would be seven weeks pregnant. He said that my child had developed very rapidly that first night and by the time he arrived home in the next morning, it equaled to two weeks in a normal pregnancy. When he finished telling me how much the baby had changed in form, I was close to tears. My little angel already had a heartbeat. He gave me some information about the symptoms I was most likely to experience and explained how I could reduce the morning sickness. He told me to be careful with my food nourishment (seems like I have to stop eating chips) and that I was forbidden to have some substances. _No alcohol, no coffee, no tobacco, no drugs._By the end of it, I felt like saying _No shit._

The conversation flowed easily and it was nowhere near awkward, but when he finished speaking, we were both completely silent.

"Thank you," I murmured, remembering all of a sudden of good manners. He closed his hands into fists, as if preventing them from moving. I stood up and walked over to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face above his collarbone. Slowly, his own arms encircled my waist, keeping me close to him, his forehead pressed against my chest.

"I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself," he whispered in a broken voice. Hearing my father talk like that made my heart stir in pain, even though a few hours ago it would have brought me pleasure.

"Well, you should." I swallowed the lump in my throat. "'Cause I've already forgiven you."

«-»

I didn't like feeling people's eyes on me, specially a group of vampires. It's understandable that someone likes to watch you sleep or simply think, because we, humans, have strange and humorous reactions in those moments, but when you're eating…Like… seriously, it's not even funny. I wondered what was so interesting about my actions: was it the way my jaw moved? How I swallowed? It didn't make much sense, really. For all I knew, my brothers and sisters thought of human food as repulsive, so why would they want to focus on me while I had dinner?

Dinner was rice with mushrooms and fish. Well, for me, at least. Jacob was devouring ribs and I bet he wasn't even aware of the four pairs of eyes watching him. What I was chewing wasn't exactly delicious, but it wasn't bad either. I supposed this kind of food should be part of my routine. Esme's cooking skills were awesome, but such tasty food couldn't have less than a scandalous number of calories.

"Ugh, how can you eat that?" Jasper made a face.

"The same way you drink blood," I shrugged, giving him a "duh" look.

We were now in the living room, each couple snuggled up, watching some cheesy movie I couldn't remember the name. It was supposed to be a romantic comedy, but, as every movie of the type I had seen before, it bored me to no end. Not like my opinion on the matter was in any way valuable. The Cullen women had been the ones to decide what we would watch. Emmett pretended he was snoring and Jasper sighed dramatically. I couldn't describe the others' posture, because the lights were out, just like in the theatre. Alice and Esme were the only ones who chuckled occasionally. My legs were on Jacob's lap, my head on his shoulder and his arms around me. In the dark, it seemed as if we had more privacy, even though the people in the room could still see and hear us. Nevertheless, I took the moment to talk to my boyfriend. Eh, boyfriend. I liked the sound of it.

"Jacob," I murmured right next to his ear. "I'm going to stay here." I decided this was probably the best moment to tell him I would leave his house. I felt him freeze and only after a few seconds, he replied in the same tone:

"Why?"

"I can't stay away from my family anymore. We can still see each other. Every day, if we want to. Well, of course I want to."

"It won't be the same…"

"Jake, I wanna do things right. I wanna do them as humanly as possible. Let's behave like the teenagers we are, okay?" I chuckled a little. "Face it: teen couples don't live together."

"So this is goodbye?"

"Don't be silly. Of course it's not goodbye. I'll see you tomorrow." _I hope._

"Alright. I'll come back next morning and I'll bring your stuff."

"No, I…I'll go to your house instead."

I felt his lips brush against my jaw, then my cheek, then my own lips. They moved in sync but our tongues didn't touch. It was simple, sweet, gentle. Perfect.

Jacob refused to leave until he made sure I was in my bed, warm and comfortable and close to succumb to exhaustion. He kissed my forehead and told me goodnight. Then, I was alone. Within a matter of minutes, my lids finally dropped and I welcomed the much needed sleep.


	11. Breathe!

**A/N.: Okay, imagine this: a blue-eyed kitten looking at you with puppy eyes (if that makes sense xD) trying to get you to forgive him. See, he's actually trying to get you to forgive ME. How can you not do it? I thought you were more sensitive than that LOL But seriously, I am so so so so sorry! School started, as well as basketball practice (I'm a coach now eheh), English private lessons and now I joined a gym club. Add that to house duties and homework and my teenage and social needs and…BANG – very little time to write. Also my computer screen just…freaked out and the first part of the chapter had to be written on paper until my dad bought a new one. And then there were those days when I found a really good story and didn't feel like writing, because I honestly didn't know how to put my ideas into English words. So, yes, I feel guilty and ashamed. This chapter isn't even beta'd, because she couldn't correct it – busy lives suck! I just keep disappointing you :s Buuuuut, I finally updated. Come on, please, review, you can even tell me what a fuck up I am, but please just review (think about the kitten, please :p). So, enough with that. This chapter is in Jacob's point of view and I hope you like it. QUOTATION MARKS ARE NOT USED FOR DIALOGUE IN THIS STORY, DASHES DO INSTEAD. I just felt like this needed to be said. I've already explained to some people why I write with dashes. If you don't know, I can tell you it's because of my first language and I think I'm not able to write with quotation marks yet. It might get too confusing for me. But maybe in the future I'll use them So, I hope you enjoy this chapter and please review.**

**Oh, and I don't own Twilight.**

**(If I did it would have definitely have a different ending ahah)**

JPOV

"Edward's coming over today," I informed, all of a sudden.

"Cool," Rachel said. Paul swore under his breath.

It figures my suspicions were, indeed, correct. Paul had imprinted on my sister. It was actually pretty obvious; no one started dating just after meeting. Fate was a little cruel, really. It could be anyone. There were a lot of members of the pack who hadn't imprinted yet. So, from all of them, why Paul? He wasn't a bad person (like, really deep inside he wasn't), but he was…unstable. I didn't trust him completely. One simple thing could set him off and I couldn't bear the thought of my big sister getting hurt because of him. He had definitely changed; he was visibly calmer now but there was still that voice in the back of my head telling me to be on alert. But, behind it all, I was happy she had finally found someone. They both seemed completely normal and relaxed, cuddling up on the couch. I worried, but, for now, I was happy for them.

Unlike Paul, Rachel was very fond of Edward (which wasn't difficult; he just had the ability to make people like him immediately – unless he punched them, of course). I was afraid, though, that her opinion would change once she knew about us. She was aware of the existence of werewolves and "the cold ones", but she didn't know a thing about Edward's past, his pregnancy or our relationship. For some reason, he had introduced himself as Edward Masen, not Cullen and, thankfully, Paul hadn't said anything about it. So, for her, he was simply a friend of mine.

My dad, too, had grown to like Edward. In fact, he had been clearly upset when I told him he would live in the Cullen's house from now on. I explained to him why and that it was better this way. I even asked him to put the legends aside and not judge Edward's family by what they were, because I, too, had stopped doing it when Edward told me what it felt like. I almost felt sympathy for them. I still disliked them; not because they were my "mortal enemies", but because they had hurt someone I deeply cared about. In the end, Billy had finally dropped the subject.

I had to admit, though, that I was slightly against the idea of my boyfriend (the word sounded strangely good) living with six vampires. Yes, they had proved they had control over their powers and thirst and I doubted they would hurt him on purpose, but…an argument, a slip, an accident…anything could cause him to get hurt. I had to agree with him about wanting to have a normal relationship (although it wouldn't ever be exactly normal, but I knew what he meant), but I just…worried. I would gladly check if he was safe every day, make sure he wasn't in danger. I loved him and that's why I would do anything for him (you know that doesn't involve destroying a continent, lifting a house, killing whales, etcetera).

I was distracted from my musings when my phone rang. I threw a quick glance at the ID before picking up.

"Morning!" he almost shouted. I laughed at his enthusiasm.

"Well, good morning to you, too," I greeted. Rachel poked my arm, calling my attention and mouthing "Who?". "Edward," I mouthed back.

"Put it on speaker phone," she almost demanded.

"Ed, you're on speaker phone," I warned him after complying, so he wouldn't say anything he shouldn't.

"Why?" he sounded confused. I placed my phone on the small table in front of me.

"Guess who's here?"

"Oh, my God, is it Obama?" he laughed.

"Hi, Edward," Rachel waved, even though he couldn't he couldn't see her. I rolled my eyes, chuckling.

"Hey, Rachel, how's it going?"

"Pretty good, actually," she replied. "You?"

"Fantastic."

"What time are you coming?" I questioned.

"Is three o'clock okay?"

"'S perfect." I tried to hide the disappointment in my voice. I had actually expected him to come earlier and have lunch with me.

"Do you wanna watch a movie then?"

_Speaking about disappointment, I was planning on spending the afternoon making out with you._

"As long as it's not that shit we saw yesterday," I said, knowing it wasn't. He had seemed just as disinterested in that poor excuse of a movie as I had. He snorted.

"Absolutely not. Don't worry. But I found this horror movie in my room which I probably haven't seen yet, because the DVD box was still wrapped up." I was surprised. Wouldn't he be scared or at least be reminded of some of the worst thing he had been through? "It's about ghosts, I think. The more fictional the better." Well, that explains it.

"Who said ghosts are fictional?" Rachel intervened.

"A lot of people," he replied, matter-of-factly.

"That doesn't mean they don't exist," she retorted. Yeah, Rachel actually believed in that shit. Go figure.

"Have you ever seen one?"

"No."

"Me either. There's no real evidence…I think." She just scoffed playfully. "Anyway, you wanna watch it or not?"

"I'm in," I said. Most of the horror movies I had seen had only made me laugh because they were all ridiculous, so this one would probably end up being a comedy. Rachel and Paul nodded (whatever, it's not like his opinion mattered anyway). "We're all in."

"Ok, see you then."

"Be safe," I said. This was somehow my way to say "I love you". I was still resisting the urge to do it, but I didn't want to deal with my sister's questioning.

"I will," he almost sighed. He had understood it and I could tell that he, too, wanted to tell me loved me, but he ended up hanging up instead.

Now it was time to deal with serious subjects.

I threw a glance at Paul, the one that said "We need to talk". It wasn't just between us and the conversation would not take place in my house. It was time for a pack meeting, in which we would have to discuss how to track down Ephraim Black.

Rachel noticed the exchange of looks and opened her mouth only to close it right after. She pointed with her thumb to the kitchen.

"You know what? It's almost noon. I think I'll start making lunch now. How does lasagna sound?"

"Sounds great, honey." Paul smiled slightly. _Wow, "honey", something I never thought would come from Paul's mouth. _She pecked his lips before standing up, her perfectly straight hair bouncing with the speed of the movement.

"I'll be in the kitchen if you need anything." With that, she walked away, leaving us alone.

"Pack meeting?" he asked lowly.

"Not everyone," I answered in the same tone. I didn't want more people knowing what had happened to Edward. The ones who did would be enough to help me find the motherfucker who had hurt him. The Cullen's were in, too, of course. I had already talked with Jasper and Emmett about it. "And not in wolf form." I also couldn't risk someone listening to my inner thoughts. I knew I had to tell them about Edward and I eventually, but it was still too soon for that.

"Are you hiding something from us?"

"Yes," I said, matter-of-factly. He raised his eyebrows. "It's none of your business."

"Where are we meeting?" he, thankful and surprisingly, changed the subject.

"Sam's house. Text Quil, Leah and Jared. Tell Leah not to bring Seth." I stood up. "I gotta talk to my dad."

Billy was at Charlie's house, he had said he missed his best bud. I'd rolled my eyes at him. Those two were inseparable. They were like two old ladies; once they started chatting it took a lot of whining to make them stop. And here I was, joking about something like that. I would probably be worse once I was their age. And Edward…I hoped Edward was there with me, too, chatting like an old lady.

I parked my Rabbit in front of Bella's house. First of all, I had to get a way to talk to my dad without Charlie hearing our conversation. Then, I had to make him believe his grandfather was alive. He would probably think I was crazy. I could just imagine him giving me _the look._ You know, the I-want-to-put-you-in-a-mental-institution look. I had to tell him anyway, though.

I hopped out of the car and walked to the front door, knocking lightly. I could hear my and Bella's fathers laughing loudly. I waited for someone to open it, but when a minute had passed and I was still in the same spot, I knocked again, figuring they hadn't heard it the first time. Charlie opened the door and greeted me cheerfully, saying he was happy to see me. There was something in his eyes…hope?

"Bella's upstairs, son," he informed.

"I'm not here to talk to her, though." He raised his eyebrows, shooting me a look of confusion. He seemed almost…disappointed. "Can I have a minute with my dad, if it's not too much to ask?"

"Sure," he nodded. "Come in." He motioned for me to enter, opening the door fully and stepping aside. I complied. He closed the door behind him and moved to climb up the stairs. "I'll leave you two alone."

"Thanks," I said.

"No problem," he shouted from upstairs. I walked over to the couch and sat down. Dad stared at me in wonder. I sighed and rested my elbows on my knees.

"Ephraim's alive," I blurted out. His eyes widened in shock. "He imprinted on Edward," I continued. "A long time ago. That's why the treaty was made." He simply blinked, but didn't say anything. "Dad?" No response. I was starting to get worried. "Say something," I pleaded. Seriously, it hadn't been my intention to give him a heart attack. _God, don't even joke about it!_

"Are…" He cleared his throat. "Are you sure?"

I nodded. "Who else could have hurt Edward?" I said.

He took a deep breath. "You're right. What are we gonna do now?" Although he still looked a bit dazed with shock, I found it surprising how easy he had accepted this.

"I have to tell Sam and the others, the ones that know what happened. The Cullens will help us tracking him down."

"You're planning on killing him?" He seemed a bit against the idea. I didn't give a shit about his opinion on this matter and I had to admit I was slightly pissed that he didn't think this was the right thing to do.

"That man…" I spat. "…stopped being one of us when he raped Edward. Do you realize the impact it had on Edward's life? He scarred him mentally. In fact, he didn't do just that. He could have caused a war. He attacked a Cullen in their land, remember?" Billy sighed defeated. I could see he now agreed with me. "I don't know why I didn't tell you this yesterday. I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it, son." He shook his head.

"You're coming home now or do you want me to pick you up later?"

"I'm staying here for a while longer. And don't bother, Charlie will take me home."

We dived into an awkward silence after that. He was taking it all in, I just knew it. I understood it perfectly. It wasn't everyday that you received news of this kind. Charlie, then, came in and sat down next to me. He cleared his throat, visibly uncomfortable with the lack of vocal sound, although he was a man of few words. He just wasn't used to this. My father and I talked constantly. We talked a lot, it was true. I could admit it was annoying from time to time, but we couldn't help it. Now, though, wasn't one of those occasions. I chose that moment to take a good look at Chief Swan. He looked happy, relieved, laid-back. He wasn't like this last time I had seen him. It had been more than a month since then. I knew instantly the reason. Yes, Edward and Bella's break-up was a good thing. Hell, it was good for all three of us. We all needed it. However, I was almost… pissed at Charlie, because he still held grudges against Edward. I had already realized (and felt fucking guilty over it) that Edward had always been civil and nice and some people just didn't see his struggle. Fuck, _I _hadn't seen it. I would be lying if I said I wasn't happy that he wasn't afraid to reveal his feelings anymore. As a vampire, he had tried his best to keep his anger inside and he had, indeed, been successful. But now, he was letting it out. It only did him good to let it out. I didn't want civil Edward back. I wanted badass, bipolar, weird Edward forever. He wasn't exactly badass yet. One day, though, he would be. Once he was okay, he would. Swear words sounded sexy as hell when he said them.

"Hey, kid," Charlie patted my arm, distracting me from my thoughts and breaking the silence. "Bella told me the Cullen boy broke up with her."

"Oh, yeah? How is she? She must be devastated." I feigned surprise and concern.

"She was pretty upset at first, but now she seems happy."

"That's good," I commented.

"You know, now that she's single…" he trailed off.

"Sorry, Charlie. I've already moved on. I'm with someone now." It wasn't a lie. I had indeed moved on and I was taken. By said Cullen boy.

"That's great." He smiled falsely. I resisted the urge to laugh. "I just hope my Bella and that guy are done for good." I threw a glance at Billy, who shook his head in a disapproving manner.

"Oh, trust me, they are," he looked at me, confused. "I mean, she wouldn't forgive him twice, right?"

"I hope she doesn't," he sighed. "Hey, why don't you take her with you? It's been so long since you've hung out together." I furrowed my eyebrows, confused, but nodded nonetheless.

"That sounds great."

Bella came down a few minutes later, greeting me with a hug and pretending she hadn't seen me in a long time. I went along with it. We told our fathers goodbye and then we were off. Now we would have a serious talk!

"Why haven't you told your father you were coming over?"

"He thinks I've been going to Angela's house. You know how unpredictable Charlie is. You never know when he may appear. If he knew I was at your house, he could go there and then he'd see Edward."

"But my dad…"

"Billy promised to keep the secret," she cut me off.

"So he knows!"

"Of course. That's why he's been coming to my house instead of Charlie going to yours."

It was, certainly, a good plan. Of course Bella would be the one inventing it. That girl should work for the FBI or something. She was diabolical.

"I'm going to Florida next week."

"Why?"

"To visit my mom."

"How long will you stay there?"

"Two weeks." She grinned. I could tell she was excited to see her mother.

We talked about random things for the rest of the drive. It was good to spend time with Bella. She often said the funniest things. We hadn't hung out together, just the two of us, in a long time. I had to admit I missed these moments with her and I worried I wasn't giving her the attention a best friend should. She seemed to be doing okay, much better than I ever thought she would. I just hoped this wasn't a mere façade and that she was suffering inside. If I told her about my relationship with Edward, would I hurt her? Would I put salt to a wound? Maybe I should wait…Yes, I should wait.

Nevertheless if Bella was happy or not now, I knew that one day she would be. In fact, things for her were much simpler. She would find someone good enough for her eventually.

I could see Paul was making an effort. A big effort. My sister would be his salvation, really. It was clear that he was trying to change for her sake. Who knows? In the end, he could even become a friendly person. He was never fond of Bella (who was he fond of, though, anyway?), be he was visibly attempting to please his girlfriend. Because I never imagined I would be alive to witness Paul and Bella making small talk. Rachel's almond-like eyes were sparkling with delight.

Not even Bella's cooking could beat Rachel's awesomely delicious lasagna and that was saying something because Bella was an incredible cook. Three full plates and only then was I satisfied, not full, but not hungry either.

Sometimes, when we desperately want time to pass quicker we make ourselves do the stupidest things… like killing flies, which weren't many by the way. I let all of them have their fun (which consisted in flying around like crazy bitches) before I finally got tired of watching them and smashed them with a kitchen glove. They say insects are important. To hell if I care. There was nothing much more interesting to do. Rachel was chatting with Bella. By their serious expressions and low voices, I was sure I didn't want to hear it. Paul wasn't exactly someone I liked to have a conversation with. Besides, he was sort of…unavailable at the moment. He was too busy crooking spoons. He was actually making them look kinda stylish. I glanced at the microwave's digital clock. 2.59 pm. He would be here soon, he had to. I started folding napkins. 3.06 pm. Paul suddenly froze and looked up at me. I froze, too. The only thing I could think of in that moment was:

"Ops," he grimaced. I covered my face with my hands and groaned. How could I have forgotten about something like this? "They're gonna be so pissed."

"Wait, what time did you tell them to meet there?"

"Two o'clock, actually," I breathed out a sigh of relief. Hey, it could be worse.

Well, yes, it could, but now Edward would have to wait and that was seriously fucked up, I spent a whole hour "entertaining" myself with ridiculous tasks, wanting him to come as soon as possible and now I would be the one making him wait. I would try not to take too long, but guessing by my luck today, such thing wasn't likely to happen. I didn't know what was with me these days. I just kept forgetting important shit. Yesterday with my dad and now this! I could only blame the lack of sleeping. And maybe, just maybe, I got distracted by my desire to be with Edward again. I fucking needed him. However, that was not a good enough excuse. His safety and happiness were above all else. Forgetting to tell the pack about Ephraim wasn't unforgivable or a matter of life or death at the moment, but damn it, now I had to hear from them, that was if they were still there.

Deciding to let loose a little, we changed into wolves. We would get there faster this way. I hadn't phased in a while, I recognized that fact and I couldn't deny that I missed it: that feeling of power and freedom as I cut the wind with my speed.

It was one of the best things I had ever experienced.

Almost as good as kissing E-

_What the fuck is with me today? Are my brain cells dying?_

It seemed the more I worried about something the easier it was to forget it when I _shouldn't._ This was already getting on my fucking nerves! Shit, I needed to concentrate on the task ahead, because it would be difficult to convince them Ephraim Black was alive. They would think I was insa-

_What the fuck?, _Paul thought, stopping dead on his tracks, abruptly. I slowed down, coming to a stop eventually, keeping a reasonable distance between us. His big nostrils flared. His thoughts were jumbled, shocked, confused. Then, as I expected, they became amused, although he was internally debating with himself, _Is this some joke?, _I decided it wouldn't hurt if he knew sooner than the others. But that would be the only thing he would know for now. I shook my huge wolf head and took off again, not bothering to wait for him. I forced my own mind to drift off to a completely different subject, which happened to be, oddly enough, the global warming. Don't judge, it's a serious problem these days!

Soon Paul caught up with me, thoughts of him and Rachel filling both our minds.

_Dude, gross, stop thinking about my sis!, _I complained, trying to erase the disturbing pictures from my head.

_I can't help it, _he whined. Wow, Paul whined. I guess this shit was payback for all the moping because of Bella. He was one of the people that had to endure my pathetic suffering. He audibly agreed with me. I wasn't expecting anything else. But Bella was Bella. And Rachel was...well, my older sister. He could at least respect that and focus on something else for a minute. We weren't too far away from Sam's house. He could daydream all he wanted about his imprint when he was in human form. Images of them making out made me resist the urge to throw up. Now he was provoking me, the son of a bitch.

_Goddamnit, Paul! Cut it out! That's disgusting!, _I mentally screamed. I ran faster, desperate to get to Sam and Emily's house. I unclenched my jaw, dropping my denim shorts. I phased back so abruptly that it hurt and I ended up rolling down on the ground. I closed my eyes and sighed, relieved. I could hear Paul's guffaws. I quickly stood up and grabbed my shorts, putting them on. Would it be too weird if I asked Edward to buy me some pairs of boxers as a late birthday present? 'Cause this thing of going commando was uncomfortable as hell. Not that I wouldn't have to experience it every time I phased into human form, but I was in need of boxers. And fuck, Edward was more than able to afford them. I wasn't even picky, although some Calvin Klein briefs sounded appealing. Why in the hell was I thinking about underwear anyway?

"About fucking time!" Leah, in all her usual courtesy, spat, as we stepped in. Emily, who was kind enough to open the door, shook her head in mock disappointment, smirking. They were all sitting around the round table. Leah was the only one looking annoyed. I almost laughed when all the others simply looked up at me and shrugged, their mouths full. God bless Emily's muffins. They literally saved me from an embarrassing lecture.

"So, Jake," Quil said after swallowing. "'Sup? Paul said you wanted to talk to us."

"Yeah…" I nodded, exhaling. This was the hard part. Should I just blurt it out? Should I prepare them before simply say it? If I got straight to the subject right now, they would certainly tell me to stop smoking so much weed (I swear with my whole being that I haven't ever touched that shit in my life, though). Maybe convince them before telling them was the best way. "So, as you know, we, shape-shifters, as long as we keep phasing, don't age." They just stared at me as if saying "No shit". "Which means that there's always the possibility that our ancestors are alive, even though there are documents that say otherwise. I don't know about the others, but I do know that one of them is not dead." _Yet, _I added mentally. They all seemed skeptical and confused, probably wondering why in the hell I was telling them this. Then, in an almost inaudible voice, after a long pause of silence, Sam spoke up:

"Who?"

"Ephraim Black," I breathed out the name with disgust. Their eyes widened in surprise. It was a good sign. At least they believed me. "And we're going to track him down."

"Ugh, he's one of us, that's no fun," Leah whined.

"He's not one of us," I snapped. "And we're not killing him "for fun"." I made air quotes. "This is a serious subject."

"Why are we the only ones here? Where's the rest of the pack?" Jared questioned. I took a deep breath.

"Because you're the ones who know what happened to Edward." He gave me a confused look. "Edward Cullen," I clarified. Their expressions became slightly annoyed and I growled internally. Quil seemed curious. "I found out recently who…hurt him."

"Your great-grandfather," Sam said. It was a statement, not a question. I swallowed my retort. I couldn't exactly argue with him, as much as it enraged me that such monster was blood related to me. It was the truth and I had to live with it, but that didn't mean I considered him family. He was far, far from that. He had become my enemy when he corrupted the boy who now owned my heart. I would gladly end his existence, even if it wasn't by my own hands. We would all work together again, the Cullens and us. Not only for revenge but to protect Edward, because _he _would probably come back for him. Although this imprint was different from the others, there was still something that didn't differ: Ephraim would only stop obsessing over Edward when one of them died. And there was no way in hell I would let my boyfriend's life end. Period.

I nodded.

"You'd kill your own…" Sam started, but I cut him off, angrily.

"I don't give a shit!" They were all shocked by the tone of my voice, which was close to yelling. I took a deep breath, hoping it would calm me at least a bit. It did. "What he did is not acceptable."

"Why do you even care?" Leah shot. "I mean, I get that it was horrible, what happened to him, but…you hated him. Why do you care so much 'bout this? Besides, why should we bother? He has his coven or family or whatever. They're more than capable to do it."

"Because he's my…" I shouted, stopping before I told them something I shouldn't and which probably they didn't want to hear. "…friend," I finished in a much lower tone. It wasn't entirely a lie. Edward was my friend…and my boyfriend, too.

"It seems to me that you're becoming too attached to that guy," Sam contested, eyeing me with a raised eyebrow. I understood in that moment that I should definitely calm the fuck down, or else they would get suspicious. That is, if they weren't already.

"As a friend," I said with my most obvious and convincing voice. Sam looked thoughtful for a moment, considering my "suggestion". Not like it really mattered if he said no. I was the true Alpha, thanks to a certain motherfucker. I was doing this out of respect. I shouldn't just make a decision without his consent. I had refused to be the pack leader, so it would be way too hypocrite of me if I started simply giving orders and waiting for them to comply as if I was one. But I wanted them to be focused on this. I should convince them gently. You always got what you wanted when you were gentle. Well, not always, but most of the time. "Look, they would help, too, if it happened to one of us. If some day we need them, they will remember this. They'll owe us."

"Jacob, there's a problem," Sam said. "We've tried to follow the scent, but it has faded. We know who he is now, so what? He could be anywhere." My head bowed in defeat. He had a point. I_ had _to do this, but how? What-the-fuck-ever. Jasper and Emmett had said they were trying to find ways, not mentioning anything specifically. Hell, they were freaking bloodsuckers, they _had _to figure something out.

"I'm sure the Cullens have a plan," I lied confidently. They had proved they were pretty stupid when they judged Ed, but hey, a little hope doesn't hurt. Maybe they were intelligent for other things. Who knows?

Sam sighed. I could tell he was undecided, probably over-thinking all of this and I involuntarily huffed. What was there to think about anyway? All the others seemed completely at ease. I wondered if they had internally agreed or if they really didn't give a shit. _Come the fuck on, say something, man._

"Ok," he said finally. I looked up at the ceiling and mouthed "Thank you", sarcastically.

"I'll talk to the Cullen's and suggest a meeting. I'll tell you guys when I know when and where." They nodded, not looking very interested. Oh, well, they had agreed, hadn't they? It was a start. Maybe they would grow at least a bit excited once the action began. "See ya," I mumbled, already walking out the door, Paul following. I needed to get home. I had spent too much time away from my ginger boy and I fucking missed him, even though it had been just yesterday I had last seen him. I had to start getting used to _not _be with him, or else our relationship would become so sickening we would both puke our guts out in less than a few months.

_And that, my dear friends, was how Paul found out my secret._

I had read it in his thoughts. He had already been suspicious, but now he knew everything. Very surprisingly, he didn't judge me. He wasn't even shocked. Had I been that obvious? It seemed he had thought about it before and decided it didn't bother him. Rachel and Edward were friends, so he would _try _to get along with him, although he was still slightly pissed because of that punch over a month ago.

_This imprinting shit was changing him…and I sure as hell was thankful._

There it was, the shinny sliver Volvo, parked in front of my old house. _When had he arrived? _I realized I didn't know what time it was. _Would he be pissed? _I wouldn't blame him if he was. I didn't like to wait myself. That was certainly something I had yet to find out about him. Paul called me, telling me he had to go to his house first to "sort out some shit", his words, not mine. I gave him a quick nod and he disappeared of my sight in less than a minute, contouring the left side of the house.

I readied myself for Edward's reaction, which turned out to be…pretty good, actually. I couldn't help but smile at him as he showed me his crooked grin, his emerald eyes sparkling. He was wearing a too big sweatshirt (as usual), long enough to cover his butt entirely, its dark green color matching with his beautiful orbs. His hair was sticking up to every direction. I glanced at his hands to see that he was holding a bowl full of popcorn. I closed my hands into fists, preventing myself from running to him and pulling him into my arms. I was aching to touch him, but Rachel was not too far away from us. She and Bella were chatting quietly, they didn't even seem aware of my presence. One kiss. They wouldn't even notice. They were too caught up in their conversation. I fucking needed to touch him. Edward bit his lip staring at me, shyly. I almost laughed at him when he kept stepping forward, but then stepping back immediately. He noticed my amusement and smiled sheepishly. Shit, he was so damn adorable, but this was ridiculous. The distance between us was way too long. I didn't have my sneakers on, because it wasn't worth the effort of taking them with me. They would be destroyed anyway.

Rachel and Bella were facing each other and didn't see me approaching Edward or me placing my hand on his back, guiding him to my room. We both sighed in relief once I closed my bedroom door behind me. And then…I nearly jumped him. Nearly. There was something in the way. Fucking popcorn. I took the bowl from his hands and almost threw it at my bed, not caring if I got it all messy with popcorn. I wrapped my arms around Edward, closing the distance between us and pressing my lips to his. He brought his left hand to my jaw, caressing it while we kissed furiously and the other rested on my hip. He pulled away almost too quickly, panting. I, too, was a bit out of breath and rested my forehead against his as we breathed in each other's scents. Today, it was citron. Fucking refreshing. He closed his eyes, his eyelashes creating small shadows across his slightly flushed cheeks, and smiled lazily. I pecked the top of his head, getting a full sniff of his auburn hair.

I realized how much things had changed because of Edward's family. He was definitely much happier now, he seemed finally satisfied and hopeful. That made two of us. The word "happy" plagued both our minds now. We could now see the sun after the thunderstorms we'd been through. _Oh, yeah, baby, with lines like those you'll only make Edward fall even more in love_ _with you. _Uh…not.

"You're late," he whispered. He wasn't judging or complaining. He simply sounded curious about my reasons to make him wait. I had noticed some time ago that he was patient with me most of the time, but he was a naturally hot-headed person with most people.

"I had to do some shit," I answered vaguely. I didn't like to lie to him. And honestly? I didn't even know why I was doing it. The guy was talented and could see right through me. And he wasn't Bella. I loved that girl, but boy, was she reckless! I didn't have to keep him in the dark. I was just afraid to mention _his _name in front of him. No matter how good everything seemed now, what Ephraim had done to him was still a sore subject and I was certain it would be that way for a long time. But if I didn't tell him…would it be better or worse? Wouldn't he feel safer once he knew we were doing everything in our power to keep danger away from him?

Edward raised his head from my chest to look at me with furrowed eyebrows and pursed lips. I knew that look. He was trying to figure me out.

"What shit?" he questioned slowly. _Tell him, Jacob._

"There was a pack meeting," I replied curtly. Damn it, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't want to talk about it. Not today. He tilted his head to the side. He seemed ready to make more questions, but I cut him off. "So, what's the movie's name?"

"_Alone_." His expression didn't change for a minute, but then his eyes widened and he tensed visibly, gulping. "Was it about…_him_?" I held his worried and scared gaze, figuring it was too late now to answer "no". So, I just nodded nervously, afraid of his reaction, preparing myself to calm him in case he needed it. He was breathing heavily, his eyes travelling around the room, almost in panic. I automatically embraced him, feeling his chest heaving up and down against me. "I…"

"Shh, baby, don't think about that now." I tried to comfort him, rubbing his back. "He won't hurt you. I won't let him."

"J-Jake," he murmured. "What…what have you decided? What are you gonna do?" he rushed out. I hushed him urgently, telling him to lower his tone or else Rachel and Bella would hear us. "Jake?" he stressed.

"We'll do everything we can to find him. Then…we're killing him," I confessed finally. Edward gripped my upper arms tightly, not strongly enough to hurt me, although I knew he wouldn't be able to do such thing even if it was his intention to, unless he wounded my feelings…or unless he stabbed, shot me or something of the sort, of course.

"No," he deadpanned.

"No?" I said, confused.

"I don't want any of you to get hurt," he hissed, looking up at me with fire and also fear in his eyes. I rolled my eyes and he gritted his teeth in annoyance. "I'm fucking serious. He…" he closed his eyes, swallowing, before opening them again. "He's dangerous. He can easily hurt any of you." He chuckled bitterly. "Hell, he can easily hurt my family!"

"What the hell makes you think that?" I was almost amused that he thought such thing. It only pissed him off more.

"He's fucking stronger than I was as a vampire!" he snarled angrily, although his eyes shone with tears. Shit, I should have just changed the subject. "Which means that he's much stronger than you!"

"He was only stronger than you because he imprinted on you!" I tried to shut him up with the truth. And I succeeded…unfortunately. He was unmoving, completely static. For a minute I worried he wasn't even breathing. He didn't blink. I shook his shoulder lightly, trying to get him to snap out of his daze. Only then he started reacting. Only then he started panicking. He was gasping for air, his body shaking like a leaf and tears made trails down his cheek. It was a heartbreaking sight and I didn't know what to do, not aware of what had caused this reaction. I, too, was panicking, my heart twisting just by seeing my Edward like this.

"How…Wha…" He took a deep breath, obviously attempting to calm himself if only slightly. "What the hell are you talking about?" His voice was low and broken. And then I understood what had happened… what I had done. Ephraim had imprinted on Edward. Edward didn't know…until now. I could already imagine what my boy was thinking at the moment if he realized what imprinting was. Shit, of course he did. He knew how much Sam loved Emily, how much Paul loved Rachel, how much Quil loved Claire. He knew they were all bound to be together until they died…maybe even after it. But he now knew how much Ephraim "loved" him. And he now mistakenly thought that he and his rapist _had _to be together sooner or later. I could imagine how that would fuck up my own brain.

Before I knew it, Edward's eyes had become unfocused, his breathing shallow, uneven, frenetic. He was already swaying and I caught him, completely terrified, when his knees gave out. My breathing accelerated substantially. I had to do something now, before he passed out. I picked him up with little effort, although he, through his state, managed to struggle a little. I immediately placed him on my bed, kneeling at his side and holding his hand. I touched his face with my free hand. My eyes stung when he flinched slightly. I stared into his unfocused fearful eyes.

"Breathe!" I tried to command, but my voice broke. I leaned down. "Baby, please, breathe," I whispered in his ear, as finally a tear fell. "I'm here. No one will hurt you. I'll _always _be here. Calm down, please."

"Ja…" I heard a sob. "J-Jake." I squeezed his hand, my heart beating wildly inside my rib cage. My lips travelled to his cheek, where I placed a kiss, tasting his salty tears.

"I'm here, baby." I gulped audibly and tried to control my breathing, thinking of ways to make him control his. He _needed _to know this imprint was different. He had to know they didn't have to be together. "Listen to me." This time, my voice sounded sufficiently demanding, yet gentle. "_I _am the one, you hear me? You belong with me, not him. Of that I can assure you. But please, Edward… just breathe!" I raised my head to look at him, desperate to see some sign of improvement. His eyes, thankfully, had gained focus. He was still having difficulty respiring, but he was slowly calming down, although he couldn't stop crying. I wiped his cheeks with my thumbs and pecked his forehead. "We're not meant to be with our imprint when they're our enemy." I informed him. I could explain more, but I hoped that, for now, this was enough. "You're safe."

"I-I'm so-sorry," he croaked. I pulled away, taking a good look at him. He was breathing heavily, but he didn't look ready to pass out anymore, Thank God. I shook my head, baffled that he would apologize when he hadn't done a thing that could explain it.

"'S not your fault, Edward."

"I didn't mean to freak out," he cried.

"I know you didn't. Relax, baby. Everything's gonna be okay." I hugged him to my chest, his breath fanning over my flesh, his thin frame still shaking lightly. I caressed his hair and took the moment to let some of my own tears fall, too. It hurt me deeply every time I saw him in this state, but this was the first time I cried because of it. It felt good to let it out, although I knew I couldn't let _all _of it come out in front of him, or else he would worry, blame himself, yada, yada. That's why I didn't like to show weakness, especially in front of someone I loved so much. My Edward was broken and scared now, these reactions were natural. But this wasn't how he was born. He was a naturally tough, feisty, brave and strong person. I'd seen casual hints of it. It made me proud of me and each day more expectant to see him act that way completely.

He stirred in my arms, probably uncomfortable with something. I pulled away to look at him. He was frowning.

"What is it?" I asked, worried.

"Popcorn," he smiled weakly, slightly amused. That's when I looked down to see his leg covering a now half-full bowl. It mustn't have been comfortable for him in the position he was in. But the worst part was the amount of popcorn glued to his jeans, which made me chuckle.

"Oh, well," I picked the bowl. "I guess we have to eat it before it causes more trouble," I attempted to make a joke, just to see him smile wider, which he did, but truth was that I was starving, so I picked some popcorns from his clothes, one by one and shoved them into my mouth. Edward ate some as well, but not before shooting me a guilty and pained look, leaving me confused, until I remembered the wetness on my cheeks. I proceeded to wipe them, but Edward's slender fingers wrapped around my wrist, stopping me.

"Let me do it," he rasped. His voice was still thick and rough from crying. He placed one thumb on each side of my face, caressing my cheeks and wiping the dampness there. I had to admit it felt good to be touched like that. He was doing it with so much gentleness and love, making me feel taken care of. It was comforting. This showed what I already knew: that he cared about me. He reached up, brushing his lips against my facial skin, kissing my tears away. I felt so cherished in that moment that I promised myself mentally I would do the possible and even the impossible to make Edward happy. He had told me he had a good life before he was changed, but the felicity I would give him would go far beyond that. He deserved it all.

His mouth traveled down my nose, where he placed a sweet kiss, hot and wet because of his own tears, until it reached the final goal – my own lips. I opened my mouth giving him access as his tongue slowly entered. He fisted his hands in my air and I blindly reached for his hands, entwining my fingers with his once I found it. It felt spectacularly good and right as every other time we did it, until the heat and passion was becoming too much for my hormones and I found myself getting too excited and bringing Edward's body closer to mine almost roughly, making him sit on my lap, his legs resting against each side of my waist. He yelped against my mouth. My hands wandered down his torso, feeling every inch of it. I was panting. I wanted to touch him so bad. I could feel myself getting aroused.

And as much my dick – the fucking devil – taunted me, my brain spoke louder and I broke the kiss completely, my hands dropping to the sides but holding his face upon seeing his hurt expression. He now smiled tightly at me, uncomfortable, yet his eyes were understanding.

"Mind if I go check on the girls while you wait here? I won't take long, I promise," I said. He nodded and pulled off of my lap. I stood up and made my way to the door, but not before planting a kiss on the top of his head.

This hadn't been the first time I got carried away while kissing Edward, but I always stopped myself before doing something I shouldn't, knowing fully well that there were a lot of limits in our relationship concerning this part of it. I was just sixteen and as such, it was completely normal to have these reactions, but I _had _to control myself, not just for his sake, but for mine as well. Although I was a virgin, I knew what sexual relief felt like. The pretty brunette chick in my Calculus class last year had shown me by giving me my first blow job. And, of course, like any sixteen-year-old, I masturbated regularly. I had felt ashamed the first time I'd done while thinking about Edward's magenta lips wrapped around my cock, but I had given up _not _doing it after a while. It felt too good to be given up on. However, things couldn't go far beyond that when I was with him. It left me frustrated, yes, but definitely not at him. I was frustrated at everything, basically – at my self-control, at the situation and at the bastard who had made things go this way (although frustrated was certainly not a strong enough word to describe my feelings for that motherfucker). But I would wait. I promised him I would. And everything I promised to him, I did.

Only now I noticed that I hadn't heard any voices outside my room in a while and that was explained when I walked into the living room to find no one there. I felt slightly worried that something had happened to them, because I expected them to warn me that they were leaving before they did. But then again, maybe it was because they didn't want to interrupt Edward and I's "conversation", which made me feel worried, too, but for another reason. Had they heard it? Did they get suspicious or did they guess right away?

I looked at the small table in front of the couch, noticing that my phone was there. Maybe they had called or texted. I picked it up to see that I had one unread text message from Bella, which made me feel relieved, if ever so slightly.

_Rachel went to Paul's. She dropped me off at home, so Charlie didn't need to come to your house to pick me up. Your sister will take Billy home. I thought you and Ed would want some time alone :) Love you – B_

I definitely loved her, too – enough said. What had me getting pissed at myself was that I realized I had forgotten of another thing today: Charlie. He would have come to pick his daughter up and would have seen Edward at my house if Bella hadn't been smart enough to leave before he could do so. Today was definitely one of those days: you know, those fucked up ones when you suspect you may be developing a serious case of Alzheimer.

But enough of that – we had a horror movie to watch!

«-»

The movie was reasonably good…for someone who got scared easily. For Edward and me, though, it was maddening. It was always good to watch this kind of movies with chicks, watching them yelp and cover their eyes, horrified. But there was no chick here, only on the screen. And Edward was nowhere near the least bit frightened. In fact, I don't think he was paying attention to the movie at all. It's not like he could see it when his nose was inside the chips bag he had in his hands. The little shit didn't even ask me if I wanted some.

I sighed loudly.

"Can you at least pretend you're scared?" I said, laughing when he turned to look at me, chewing like a ruminant, his lips smudgy.

"Huuhh?" he scrunched up his nose adorably, confused before sucking on the tip of his middle finger, cleaning off the salt. I chuckled.

"You know, that's not very healthy," I commented. He froze and then raised his head to look at me with wide eyes.

"Do you think I'm fat?" he questioned, obviously afraid of my answer, but then rolled his eyes and slapped himself lightly. "Jesus, I sounded like a fucking girl just now. But anyway, do you?" I smiled at him, amused. I thought about saying "yes", just to rile him a bit, but then decided against it. I shook my head instead.

"Far from that. I just worry about your cholesterol," I replied. He frowned.

"I should really stop eating this stuff, shouldn't I?"

"Not completely. But you shouldn't eat _that _much."

He shot me a jokingly defeated look before handing over the chips. I grabbed the bag from his hands, but put it aside instead of eating what was left of the content.

"C'mere," I said. He complied and I threw my arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer to me. I leaned down to kiss him as he rubbed my chest soothingly.

"Jacob," he whispered with his eyes closed. "If I find out you said that so you could get the rest of the chips for you, I'll make sure you'll be fossilized in your bedroom's wall for more than ten years."

I laughed out loud.

My boyfriend was awesome.

**~Preview~**

_**I slammed on the breaks abruptly, my heart racing in panic, afraid of hitting the dark figure in front of the car. What could this person be doing in the middle of the street at almost one o'clock in the morning?**_


	12. Tuna soup made of spinach

**A****/N: Sorry I took so long, but it was with good reason. This chapter is the longest so far and it may make you gasp in some parts. It's not beta'd, unfortunately. Honestly, I don't know why. I sent it to my beta but I got no response. Please, I need some feedback ;)**

**I don't own Twilight, as you know.**

**Oh, and…happy Halloween!**

EPOV

_You're just a sad song with nothing to say_

_About a lifelong wait for a hospital stay_

I wasn't really playing attention to the lyrics of the song coming from the stereo of my Volvo. They were just made of meaningless words…for me, at least, of course. I was simply enjoying it as a background song. The melody, although a bit sad, was strangely comforting and fitting when you drove in a deserted street at night with rain pounding on the glass parts of the car. It did not reflect my mood though. Despite of being ready to immediately crash in my bed once I got home, I felt relaxed. Jacob being the cause, as always.

The incident from earlier had shaken me up, but, of course, my beautiful Jacob had made all my fears and worries go away. I had felt such torment when I heard those words from his mouth. It had scared the shit out of me; it had made bad memories come back to torture me. I'd felt as if I was in those woods again, beneath _him. _I couldn't imagine myself and that monster being together in the future and thankfully, we wouldn't. It was definitely bad news, knowing that I had been imprinted on by _him_, but I had already known that he was completely obsessed with me, that he had enjoyed what he'd done to me.

My stomach flipped in disgust, killing my good mood.

Hearing it from someone else's mouth had made "reality" kick in and panic had struck me. Somehow, Jacob had managed to calm me down considerably, easing my preoccupations by telling me how this kind of imprint actually worked. I had never felt so relieved. Of course, his soothing and loving ways had helped me "coming back" to him. My boyfriend was an angel, a gorgeous angel. It had been awful to see my angel cry.

_Now will it matter after I'm gone?_

_Because you never learned a goddamned thing_

After that, everything had gone back to normal again. Jacob and his kisses, a horror movie that had lost all its fun because the girls had left and _chips_ had made my day, making me block all the bad thoughts for a long good while.

_And where did you hide?_

_Go find another way, but you pay_

I had grown to love _My Chemical Romance_ since I had turned human. They had songs good enough to fit any of your moods. This one was sad and I think it would be adequate for a goodbye or when you were heartbroken. Although I didn't feel any of that, I thought it was a proper song for a dark silent night. It was playing in a low tone, calming me from my previous excitement. I enjoyed these moments. I loved company, but being alone felt amazingly relaxing from time to time.

The rain was pounding more and more, making it difficult to see as the wipers of the car moved almost frenetically. I was being careful not to go too fast. I still had some sense of self-preservation and I realized how many people would suffer if I got hurt. Besides, I didn't want them to worry or treat me more like a porcelain doll than they already did. From what I could see, there were no more drivers in this street aside from me. The street was framed with dense and wet woods. No houses. No people. Now, I would be lying if I said I wasn't at least a bit scared. I wouldn't be if I was just a normal human with a nice human family and cool human friends, with defenseless enemies that secretly hated you but did nothing about it. No, I had a vampire family, my boyfriend was a shape-shifter and I guess I could say I had more enemies than friends. Maybe I was being paranoid, but I had this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach that warned me that danger was near and not the kind that could be taken care of by the hands of police men.

There were no people on this street, but maybe there was something else that could not be quite qualified as a person.

_Fucking paranoia. I should start sleeping more and stop watching those fucking movies with pointless suspense._

Yeah, I was worrying for no reason at all. I was just being paranoid…

Right?

I threw a glance at the moon through the humid glass of my Volvo. Full moon. Round, white, the craters visible. It was beautiful out there tonight. Too bad I was already heading home and the rain was making it hard to see it. I daydreamed about me and Jacob laying on soft grass, bathed by moonlight, his skin glowing and his arms around me, engulfing me in warmth. Maybe one day. Yes, one day we would certainly do that.

I was so caught up in my daydream that I almost didn't notice the dark figure in the middle of the street, a few meters away from my Volvo.

I slammed on the breaks abruptly, my heart racing in panic, afraid of hitting the person in front of the car. I came to a stop on time, thankfully, barely touching the figure.

What could this person be doing in the middle of the street at one o'clock in the morning?

The rain, in all its taunting triumph, made it difficult to describe whoever it was. From what I could see though, it was a man – the shape was of a man, but…something wasn't right with him. I found myself feeling sympathy over him. Not all humans were born the right way, some were born with deficiencies or disabilities and the shape of the man in front of me led me to believe he was one of those humans. His head was too big – taking a good look at him, I could see that it seemed more like an animal head than anything; there was something on top of it…ears? _Horns_? His arms were too long. His posture was that of an animal, too. He stood in a weird way, like a dog…but in vertical position, if that made any sense. I couldn't see his face, so I could guess he had his back to me. There was something between his legs as well…a tail? Everything about him reminded me of an animal…a dog or a wolf, but at the same time a human. Both in just one being.

Fuck me, what was I talking about? This was no man.

_Paranoia my ass._

I would have laughed, if my heart wasn't drumming against my ribcage fifty miles an hour. Full moon and the exact shape of what most people would believe to be a werewolf, identical to the ones you saw in movies and in the Internet – that was the picture I found myself on. I knew better than that. Jacob wasn't like this…thing. So, I had to be dreaming…or maybe it was tiredness taking its toll on me. That's what I kept telling myself, but after pinching my own skin and rubbing my eyes countless times, I couldn't deny it anymore: this was real.

In spite of being fucking scared, I was curious. I wanted to know what this thing was. I was ninety percent sure that it was dangerous and I shouldn't even dream of approaching it. I could get hurt. Jacob would worry. Dad would worry. Everyone would. But it was there, it was fucking there. There was a weird thing in front of my car and I wanted to know what it was and why it was standing there. I had the right to know.

But what if something happened?

If I didn't risk it, though, I would probably never see this again. I would never have the chance to know what it was. Curiosity would eat away at me. I would be restless.

_Curiosity killed the cat…_

_But satisfaction brought him back_

I put on my black raincoat and, taking a deep breath, opened the door and got out of the car, closing it lightly as if that would be enough to avoid being heard. My human instincts were making me take useless precautions. The falling water hit me full force, chilling me to the bone, making me want to go back. To go home and not turn back. But I put those thoughts aside, because I was a crazy motherfucker who couldn't mind his own business.

It was clear to me now that this was an animal. It had hair everywhere, drenched dark brown hair. After a few moments of hesitation, I took a step forward.

"Hey," I called loudly, but the animal didn't move. _Well, what were you expecting? It's a freaking animal! _Or not. Honestly, I could only describe it as some kind of mythological creature: half-human, half-animal. It was just too weird for my head, but I stupidly hoped a part of it understood English. "Sir?" I shouted, afraid that it hadn't heard me. This thing could be anything. If it was, indeed, a man or if at least it had a rational brain, politeness was probably welcomed. If it was something else, though,…well, it's not like someone would make fun of me over it. That's why some people liked to talk to their pets: they didn't talk back!

I walked towards the thing, slowly and somewhat reluctantly. I did not dare approach it more than I already had. There was a still a distance of one yard. Not exactly a safe distance. I took two steps back.

"Hey," I yelled again. "Get out of the way!" The words were out of my mouth faster than I had predicted. It was in my way, yes, and it was the reason I had stopped the car, but I could have just used the other side of the road.

The creature didn't move.

I was getting impatient. I was tired, scared, alone, fucking soaked from head to toe and damnit, I was still curious. But that…thing, whatever it was, just wouldn't budge, it wouldn't turn around so I could see its face, it wouldn't say anything back and I simply refused to approximate to it more.

I wanted to go home.

Screw…the thing.

So, in less than a few seconds, I was inside the car again. I was freezing, too numb to notice the temperature difference. My teeth chattered either I was outside or inside. I turned on the air conditioner and took off my coat, hoping that I got warm enough during the drive home. I was just drying off my hands when I looked up. The sight that greeted me made me drop the red flannel blanket I was holding and my breathing quickened considerably. This looked like a scene taken out of a horror movie.

The creature was no man. Fuck, it was no animal. It was a monster.

Not a deadly beautiful monster like the vampire I had once been, nor a huge wolf (although I couldn't really call those monsters). This was by far the ugliest creature I had ever seen and I was beyond terrified, because this was new. This wasn't normal, even in the vampire world. I never knew about the existence of werewolves. Jacob was a shape-shifter. He didn't need full moon to phase. And he was way more attractive than…this. He wasn't a werewolf. _This _was.

The first thing I noticed was its teeth. That was what scared me the most. The werewolf had shark teeth, but his canines belonged to a real wolf. Their shape was terrifying as it was, but there was more to it. Most of them were yellowish like a smoker's, some were even black…putrid. And all of them were tainted with blood. And they were forming a smile. A fucking devilish grin.

I felt like crying in fear.

The next thing I saw was its eyes. Where it was supposed to be white, it was black. The pupils were minuscule. The beast had yellow eyes. Not amber. Not dark yellow. Its eyes were bright yellow, staring down at me as only a predator's would.

The werewolf's head was that of a real wolf in general, but its eyes and teeth were what distinguished them. Whereas a wolf's were simply animalistic, the beast's were… _beastly, _unreal, even to someone who had seen so much – the possible and the impossible. But this didn't fit in any of those categories.

I wished I had just driven off when I should. Now I was frozen to the spot, hyperventilating, almost as if I was waiting for the monster in front of my car to kill me.

_What the fuck are you waiting for?_

I pressed down on the gas pedal, my hands flying to hold the steering wheel as if the action in itself would save my life. Well, maybe it would. I let out a choked scream when I hit the werewolf. A sob left my throat as the force of the impact made it fall on the car roof and roll down the vehicle. I sped like a maniac, not caring about what I had just done or that it was dangerous to go at such a high speed. My life probably depended on this. I could hear my own heart beating at a crazy velocity, feel it pound in my chest, almost as if it wanted to come out. My stomach churned. I resisted the urge to throw up. I could feel the hot dampness on my cheeks, signaling that the waterworks had started. I was shaking like a leaf…from cold and fear and panic.

I needed to get home _now._

I raced down the street, desperate to get to fucking reality, to a house full of vampires that could protect me from this abomination.

That feeling grew more intense when I threw a glance at the rear mirror. What it showed made my foot press down harder. The beast was following me. The beast was fast. Faster than it should be. Faster than my family members.

"Please, go away," I murmured, shit scared. "Leave me alone."

It didn't take long for the werewolf to catch up with me. It smiled evilly at me through the window. Everything was a blur, a dark blur, but not the beast running next to my car. I could see it clearly. This would definitely be the new theme of my nightmares. That is, if I would get out of this mess alive.

I thought about Jacob. His smile, his eyes, his body, his soul. I wished I had some way to say goodbye, but I didn't and the mere thought left me shaking as sobs rocked my frame. There were no words that needed to be said. We both were aware of how much we loved each other.

I thought about my family. One by one, their faces filled my mind. Again, no words were needed. I loved my brothers, sisters and parents. And they loved me.

Finally, I thought about my little angel, still growing inside me. My heart twitched violently, because my baby wouldn't even be able to see the light of the day.

But then I reprimanded myself. What the hell was I doing anyway?

I could just stop the car and wait for the beast to kill me.

But I wasn't. I was fighting against my death.

Because I had reasons to live, one of them not even born yet and at the same time the most important of all. Because I wasn't destined to die. Not now. Not because of a fucking werewolf!

So I looked ahead, determined to get to my destination safe and sound, pressing down the gas pedal. The beast wasn't quite catching up. I may have smiled triumphantly.

I may.

A loud howl was heard in the distance. I jumped in my seat, taken off guard. It was undoubtedly a wolf's. _Wait, there are more? _The sound was shrilling, as if coming from a wounded or anguished animal. I looked at the window. No werewolf. I looked at the rear mirror. Nothing. I even twisted my neck to look back. Just road. I slowed down, now that hope and relief filled me in all their glory.

That would be the right moment to meditate about what had just occurred, but I didn't do so. I was numb and exhausted and wanted to go home…badly. That was the only thing I thought about as I rushed down dark and lonely streets until I pulled in the so known driveway.

I parked the car inside the garage, since it was raining. I was home, finally. Now I needed to get inside my bedroom. I needed to shower. I needed to throw up.

So I did. I puked the dinner I had had, gripping the base of the toilet, my throat burning. Alice came into my room to help me, rubbing my back as I vomited the last contents in my stomach that churned painfully. Once I was done, she proceeded to tell me she couldn't see my future just a while ago and that she had been worried but had assumed I was with Jacob. I nodded grimly. Jasper had left to hunt, she told me, the others were all home. I didn't need to know what Em and Rose were doing, but Carlisle was in his study and Esme was reading. I smiled weakly, unconvincingly. I wanted her to get out so I could have my shower. I was going to politely request her to do so, but she was gone before I could even open my mouth.

I washed myself quickly, working almost robotically. As I had said before, I felt numb. I dressed up in my sweats and hid myself under the covers of my king-sized bed, waiting for sleep to claim as a few tears of exhaustion slid down my cheeks.

A few minutes later, I fell into a restless, nightmare-filled sleep.

«-»

Half past three. I woke up at half past three in the morning, sweating and crying, only to run to the bathroom and throw up some more. I wiped my mouth and washed my teeth and face. It was too hot. I felt like I was suffocating. I took off my sweater and put on a T-shirt. I placed a waste basket next to the bed. Just in case.

I tried to go back to sleep.

I couldn't do it. My stomach was doing back-flips, my head throbbed. I felt like crying in frustration. I just wanted to sleep, but I couldn't bring myself to do it, afraid of the tricks my own mind would most likely play on me. I couldn't remember what I had dreamt about nor did I want to. I knew it had been terrifying.

I looked at the glass wall. Full moon stared back at me over dense dark woods, mockingly, haunting me.

I got out of my bed, throwing the covers angrily. I grabbed my iPod and the waste basket and left the room. The wrong room to sleep in tonight. I stumbled throughout the hallway, my vision blurry with tears and tiredness.

I ended up inside my parents' bedroom, drifting off on their bed, under their covers, finally finding the courage to rest decently.

«-»

A cold hand brushed a strand of hair off my forehead tenderly. I exhaled shakily as my body shivered. My eyelids fluttered open. I was still exhausted. I could barely keep my eyes open. Carlisle stared at me lovingly, as only a parent like him could, which meant only he was able to do it. He was one of the few people I would let watch me sleep. He caressed my cheek with his thumb.

"Are you okay?" he asked, visibly concerned. I nodded. His brow furrowed in worry. "Put this on." He handed me a sweater, which I took with a shivering hand. Only now I realized how cold I was. He helped me put the clothing on, since my arms seemed to be reluctant to move. "I'm going to the hospital now. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Morning sickness, that's all," I mumbled groggily with my eyes closed. "What time is it?"

"A quarter to six. Get some sleep, son. Call me if you need anything." He ruffled my hair gently and I lay down again. I barely heard the door snapping shut.

«-»

Twenty past nine. I had been awake for two hours now. Not by choice, of course. The bad dreams that had plagued me were the cause of that. I felt like I was going to pass out. I didn't dare look in the mirror, afraid of what it would show me. I could imagine though. It didn't seem like a pretty sight in my head. I had tried to read, but the words had blurred together, giving me a bigger headache. I was watching TV, just for the sake of it.

Needless to say, I felt like shit.

It was breakfast time. Maybe I should go grab something, although I had no will to do so. But today my emotions didn't really matter. I was a living zombie. I wasn't walking, I was scuffling. I didn't want to feel. It was awful as it was with the morning sickness, I didn't need fucking supernatural creatures making it worse. I had decided I would forget last night. The dreams were making it difficult and I would have to sleep eventually, but perhaps I could ask Carlisle to prescribe me some pills.

I lay in fetal position on the couch in the living room, a blanket that Esme had insisted to wrap me in around my shoulders. She had prepared oatmeal for me, but as soon as the smell of food had hit my nose, I'd asked her in a strained voice to put it away from me. She'd looked a bit hurt and I realized I wasn't entirely numb, because I felt a bit guilty over it. I'd apologized to her, but she'd just brushed it off, saying she understood. I would make it up to her once I felt better, that's what I had told her. I was watching a baseball match. For the first time, I wasn't paying much attention to it. Jackals against Phillies. I didn't even know which team was winning. I was just dozing off when the bell rang.

The bell fucking rang!

Who the hell visits other people's houses before ten o'clock in the morning anyway?

I groaned.

Alice answered the door.

And then the fucking noise started. Laughing, talking, greeting. Voices, too many voices, too loud, making my head pound even more. I winced. I recognized the voices. Sam, Leah, Paul, Quil, Jared. Why were they here? Why hadn't Jacob talked yet? Where was he?

I needed him.

"Boo," he whispered next to my ear and I gasped in surprise. I opened my eyes and there he was, kneeling in front of me and staring into my eyes with concern. "Hey, are you okay?"

I sighed and shrugged. There was no point in lying to him. I was sure I looked like shit and he mustn't have been the only one noticing it. I wondered why he hadn't touched me yet, he normally would, especially when I wasn't feeling okay. He seemed to be holding back. That's when I remembered there were other people in the room; people that didn't know about our relationship. I groaned internally. Why did they have to come _now_?

I sat up slowly, making the blanket around my shoulders fall. I swear Jacob looked like he was in physical pain, his beautiful hazel eyes worried. I wanted to kiss him in that moment, take all of his pain away, but I couldn't.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked hoarsely. I cleared my throat. He seemed apologetic and opened his mouth to talk but nothing came from those breathtaking (and talented) lips. I understood immediately what he couldn't bring himself to say. They were here to discuss how to track _him_ down. Yep, they really were going to do it. Once again, my family and the pack would work together. Nothing I said could change their minds. Well, it's not like I exactly wanted them to. This was, indeed, important and needed to be solved. I actually wanted to know how they were going to do it; I didn't like to be kept in the dark. This wasn't the best day for me, but it was the day they had decided to show up. Speaking about bad timing. But oh, well, that's life for ya, you poor bitches.

"Where's your dad?" he asked.

"Hospital," I sighed. He closed his eyes and shook his head. He put a hand on my shoulder in a friendly way, just for appearances. I could tell, though, that he wanted to hold me in his arms, just as I wanted to kiss him.

"Come on, let's get you to bed."

"No," I shook my head. "I wanna stay. I want to know what you guys are going to do."

"Edward, you need to rest," he said sternly.

"I'm fine," I insisted. He rolled his eyes. "Please, just let me stay here," I pleaded with him. He was about to protest, but I cut him off. "It's not like there's a difference. What would I do in my bedroom all alone anyway?"

"Sleep," he replied, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

I stared at him and fisted my hands into balls. "I can't."

He raised an eyebrow, waiting for me to explain, but I didn't say anything. How could I do so without telling him what had happened? Finally, a look of realization crossed his gorgeous face and all of a sudden he seemed angry. Yep, nightmares. It figures there were a lot of bad things I dreamt about. Being fucking raped one of them and Jacob knew that.

Mom was calling Carlisle. Rosalie and Emmett sat opposite us. She, too, was giving me a worried and almost panicked look while Em comforted her the best way he could…by acting like a clown, which left her giggling slightly. Hell, even _I _chuckled. But seriously, the guy was kissing his biceps! Jasper was…nowhere to be seen, actually. Alice had said he'd gone hunting, but surely a hunting trip couldn't take this long, could it?

And the pack, _surprisingly, _was in the kitchen. I ate a lot, I usually did, but they _devoured_ food. Not all of them were there. I wondered why only some of them had come. Remembering each voice I had heard, I figured it was because they were the ones who knew. The others would have probably come, too, if they were aware of what had happened to me. I felt relieved they hadn't told anyone else.

I suddenly didn't feel as drained. Not excited, but I wanted to know what their plan was. After all, this was about me, too. I was basically the reason they were doing this. For a moment, just a very short moment, I wished I was a vampire again, so I could kill _him _myself. I had once been a red-eyed creature who loved to play with his prey, taunting his victims before draining them. I had thought it was right, at the time. They did deserve it, after all. But only after a few years I'd realized it wasn't my place to judge them, that I'd messed with a world where I didn't belong. Now, though, I wanted to rip _him _to pieces and I felt pathetic knowing other people would do it for me. I thought of myself as a weak and defenseless human and, honestly, it wounded my ego. I wondered…had Bella also felt like this?

But then I thought about all I would have lost if that happened. Humanity was full of possibilities and imperfections and _love. _Now, I didn't know how much Carlisle loved Esme exactly, for example, but I did know that none of what I had felt during the years I wandered on this planet like a corpse could compare to what I felt now. I had seen a lot, from wars to epidemics, from carefree children to grieving soldiers' wives, from inventions and changes to improvements that made this world a whole lot better. Even when I saw things I disliked on TV, it didn't make my opinion waver. Humanity was not about perfection and beauty, but it sure was magnificent in its own way. Feeling was something entirely different when you were _alive. _Your body's reactions to emotions were what made you believe that you had a life ahead of you, that you were still here and weren't going to disappear into thin air. I hoped I could build a family of my own, with Jacob by my side, live in a big city and meet different people, get a job, buy a simple house. And if Jacob didn't phase, if I could get a way to prevent that, we would grow old together. Adding my family and the pack to the scheme didn't exactly spoil it. I wished they could all be human, but it was the way it was and there was nothing I could do. Although I would be always connected to this supernatural world that did have some spectacular things of its own, I knew that this was what I wanted. This was who I was. _What_ I was. _Human._

So, was I willing to give that all up because of revenge? No, I was not.

Carlisle arrived shortly after, Jasper just behind him. Since Jacob couldn't exactly be too close to me at the moment and Rosalie, Alice, Esme and him had basically begged me to lay down, I laid on the biggest and most comfortable couch in the room with my head on Momma's lap as her fingers combed my hair gently. Hell, even Emmett had insisted that I laid down with a "For your dear bro's sake". I had chuckled and only then I'd complied. I actually felt a little better now. My head still throbbed a bit and I was in desperate need of sleep, but thankfully the nausea had given me a break from the constant need to empty my stomach.

Everyone gathered in the living room. For some reason, no one was sitting. Dad hadn't even remembered his good old etiquette, skipping the greeting part and the usual "Why don't you have a seat?"

"This place is so awesome," Quil commented mostly to himself, but loud enough for all of us to hear, looking around in amazement and earning a chuckle from each of us. It was enough to relieve some of the tension. Rosalie walked to the middle of the room, which made us all confused. She crossed her arms over her chest (her usual position when she meant business) and raised her head.

"So, as you all know, we're here to discuss how we're going to track Ephraim Black down," she said. I grimaced slightly when she pronounced _his _name. "Not only because we want him to pay for what he's done, but also because there's a big chance he might come for Edward." I panicked a little inside just thinking about it. "We can't let that happen."

"Well, that's good to know," Leah spoke, rolling her eyes. "Do you have a plan, sweetheart? Or are you going to keep babbling?"

"For God's sake, Leah…" Jacob groaned and grabbed a pillow covering his face with it, adorably. Leah scoffed and I suppressed a laugh. Rosalie was checking her nails.

"Three fucking sentences and it was enough to make you embarrass yourself," Rose sighed, still looking at her left hand and shaking her head. "Well, congratulations, _sweetheart."_

"What's your name again?" Quil asked her, smiling.

"Uh…Rosalie?" It came out as a question.

"I think we're gonna be great friends, Rosalie," he cackled. Leah glared at him. It was obvious that she didn't want to be here. I didn't object her decision to come. Well, she may not have a choice at all. But since she was here and if she _had _to be here, she could _at least_ be quiet. Why did she have to be so bitter anyway? I couldn't believe she and Seth were siblings. They were so different.

"Guys," Jasper interrupted the exchange. "Focus, please."

"Hey, by the way, where have you been, man?" Emmett questioned him.

"I went to Portland to visit Peter and Charlotte."

"How are they?" I said.

"They're good," he smiled. Then, it quickly faded. "Focus. Rosalie, please, go on. What do you have in mind?"

Rosalie's face wasn't completely serious; there was still a hint of smugness there. Well, now I understood why she was the one thinking and making decisions. She did know how to plan a "good and sweet" revenge. Royce became aware of that fact in the worst way. Knowing that she was decided to make _him _pay for what he'd done to me filled me with hope and confidence. Rosalie may not have a power, but she was much more than a kitten pretending she was a lioness. One would guess just by looking at her. And she was stubborn. If she was determined to make it happen, then it _would _happen.

_She really was going to be the Godmother._

"Since the scent has faded and we can't follow it, we're not behaving like dogs." She smirked at Leah. "And we're giving our noses a rest. Until we find a scent again, we're gonna behave like humans." She paused. "And use our minds."

«-»

_Well, what a fucking genius._

It's not like I thought the plan was bad, but I was expecting something more…diabolical or at least complicated, specially from Rosalie. But who was I to talk? My lazy ass hadn't even bothered thinking about some other way.

So, basically, the plan was to…study. Yes, study. For the past two weeks, werewo…uh…shape-shifters and vampires sat in the living room or in the kitchen of our house, sighing in boredom as they read the countless stories of the Quileute tribe. There was no doubt that this was absolute tedium for the pack. I wasn't even sure if the Elders approved of this – sharing this kind of information with their enemies. Sam's "screw it" attitude left me speechless. The leader of the pack was one of those people that followed rules severely (which was rather annoying, in my opinion). I don't think he was sure if this was "legal" or not either. Maybe my family was an exception.

They were all clearly disappointed that there was no other way to find _him. _They obviously wanted to hunt _him _down, as they did to nomad vampires that crossed their lands. The "sickly sweet" smell of my family didn't help either. Add that to the fact that this was probably the last place where they wanted to spend their evenings. Some of them worked, since school only started next month and they had to contribute in their homes by earning enough money to put food on the table. Of course Esme offered to help when she knew about this. The answer was no, unambiguously, with capital letters. I could see from their point of view and understand their situation. Barely anyone liked to be treated like a charity case. I hoped that, one day, I, too, would _have_ to work to sustain my family. The thought was rather exciting. _Have _to work. Have something to do. Have ambitions and be challenged.

Honestly, I think it was pointless to read those legends, but Rosalie insisted that they could get some clue about _his _whereabouts. But what would the legends that had nothing to do with the treaty or the Cullen's reveal?

Sigh.

Pointless.

For some reason, Jacob was the one studying what I thought was more important – the legends about us, the Cullen's, and the treaty that was made when _he _had stumbled upon us. Of course, Rosalie, Emmett, Carlisle, Esme and I knew how it had gone. It was one of the things I could clearly remember, but had no desire to think about at the moment. That would mean remembering _his _cruel face. It was important, though, to know what had been written by the tribe, to know what they had thought about us. _That _could give us some clue about _his_ current location. I knew I had read their minds when we'd hunted for the first time in La Push, but, unfortunately, I couldn't remember what they had exactly thought about us, only _his _infatuation with me and the others' disgust as well as curiosity.

The morning sickness had been terrible, but hadn't lasted long. Only three days after the first meeting, the strenuous, despising symptoms started to dissipate. Sleep didn't come easily, seeing as I still had disturbing nightmares and, for that reason, I had yet to rest soundly and peacefully.

The images that plagued me at night were rarely about _him, _but about _it _instead, if I'm making myself clear. During the day, I simply blocked it and I was oddly good with that task. These meetings with the pack kept my head busy, as well as the text messages exchanged between me and Jacob and the countless movies I forced myself to watch. I couldn't deny that I missed him profoundly. He was here every day, but he always brought along his mates that didn't know about our relationships. Sometimes, he'd tell them he needed to go to the bathroom, but not before nodding at me almost imperceptibly. Then, I'd dismiss myself, giving the short explanation that I was tired and I'd go to my room. My family was aware of our little plan and I was almost certain that the pack knew, too, although I didn't say anything. There was a bathroom downstairs, for God's sake.

And when we were finally alone, we'd kiss passionately and stare at each other with goofy smiles on our faces until the usual five minutes had passed and Jacob had to get to work again.

Jacob had to go to the restroom a lot.

And I got tired very easily.

Eh, what a coincidence.

I missed a lot of things. I missed being with Jacob without having to worry about getting caught. Earnestly, I wish he'd tell them already. Maybe I was being irrational and I wasn't thinking about the consequences. I didn't know how accepting or understanding Jake's friends were, but I really didn't think it was that big of a deal. Well, that's when self-consciousness began. Was Jacob ashamed of our relationship? Was he embarrassed about his sexuality?

No, I then decided. He was just afraid of what Sam would do and of the impact, no matter how small or big, it would have in our lives and relationship, although I didn't believe he would react in such way. Once again, he probably already knew.

One other thing that I missed was going out. I was starting to feel suffocated. I guessed I had become so dependent of other people to accompany me wherever I went that I had forgotten that I was old enough to go on my own, both in human and immortal years, in spite of still being a little apprehensive. I had to stop dwelling on my own fear, though. It wasn't healthy.

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn't even know if the book in front of me was in English. I verified. Yep, English. Some shit about atoms and other chemistry related content. Rather disinteresting, to be honest. At the same time that my family and the wolves read the tribe's legends, I studied so I could catch up with everything that I couldn't remember. Some subjects were hard to follow, but I was doing fairly well, in my point of view. It was sort of strange, having difficulties with this. For many years, studying, for me, hadn't been needed, but now I found myself knowing just as much as the average junior in high school.

The pack wasn't supposed to come here today. Alice had gone shopping (big surprise) and Emmett and Jasper were wrestling outside. I sort of wished I could join them, I missed kicking Em's smug ass, but I definitely couldn't do that anymore and I wasn't really feeling like getting drenched just to watch them. It was raining fucking daggers today. Rosalie was doing so, though. It's not like she would catch a cold anyway. Dad was working (poor man has such a busy schedule) and Momma was watching _Oprah_.

I grabbed my laptop that was just inside the backpack next to the kitchen chair I was sitting on, turning it on, as my thoughts began to drift to a dangerous subject. I felt like I couldn't ignore it anymore and now that the fear didn't prevent my actions as much, curiosity started to grow within me. What I had seen two weeks ago wasn't something easy to forget. I would be reminded of it eventually and it was happening now. I'd already named the creature. _Werewolf_. It simply made more sense than calling Jacob one. Jacob did not require full moon to phase and when he changed form, he phased into a real wolf, much bigger than the average, but a wolf nonetheless. There were a lot of myths out there about these creatures. I'd just never believed they were true.

Did Carlisle know anything about it? If yes, then why hadn't he told me? Maybe he had when I'd been a vampire, but I just didn't remember. I tried to recall a moment when he'd mentioned something, but my head throbbed slightly with the effort because some things were too fuzzy. I had to try, though.

Werewolves. When had he mentioned the word?

Fuck, whenever we talked about the Quileute tribe. That didn't help.

I knew something that could help, though. God bless technology. It surely saved me from a boring book research. I quickly typed what I wanted in the famous Google search bar and hit Enter, anxious for the results. I clicked the first link I saw.

There was a lot of unnecessary information in this site, but there were a lot of things that caught my eye as well.

_Lycanthrope – _also known as werewolf.

Apparently, werewolves were humans that after being bitten by said mythological creature were able to shift into wolves (or something similar to the animal), but could only do so under full moon. They also had far better senses than either wolf or human beings and supernatural abilities. They were casted as European individuals and were vulnerable to silver bullets (I'd remember that next time I left the house alone). The myth was perhaps created during the ancient Greece era. There were a few tales about their appearance and how they could be recognized. Some said they had bristles under their tongues and feed off human corpses, others said you would find fur beneath their skin and they walked on three legs, the forth one portraying a tail.

I huffed in frustration. There were so many damn myths that I didn't know what to believe in. Carlisle and I would really have to talk about it. He _had _to know something, or else I would go insane.

I then decided to see some pictures. And then I wished I hadn't done it. My breathing picked up just by looking at some of the disturbing images on the screen, very alike to what I had seen that night.

"Sweetie, are you okay?" Esme called from the living room. I closed the page immediately and exhaled.

"Yes," I murmured, knowing she could hear me. "Yeah, I'm good."

I turned off my laptop and decided to do a break. It was already five o'clock. Time for a snack. There was a little guy inside me that needed to be fed. I touched my stomach tenderly, smiling. It had grown slightly. I was now eight weeks pregnant but my belly was barely visible. Some of my jeans didn't fit me as well as before and I even had to throw one or two pairs away. No worries, though. Alice would take care of the problem. It had been yesterday that I had received some great news. Tomorrow we'd be able to do an ultrasound. I was beyond excited, but I was slightly nervous, too. I just hoped everything would turn out okay.

I took a yogurt out of the fridge, made a simple sandwich and started eating.

I missed Jacob a whole lot. I wanted to really _be _with him, the way any other boyfriend did. I wondered what he was up to, if he missed me as well, if he was thinking about me, too. I couldn't keep doing this any longer. There was nothing wrong with today. We could be together _today. _That's why I sent him a text message, asking him if he wanted to come over. I'd rather go to his house instead, have some fresh air, but his buddies were probably not far away and there was a fat chance one of them would see us.

_I'll be there in twenty. Love ya, ex-leech– J_

I laughed quietly and quickly sent back:

_Love you 2, my boy – E_

Since I didn't feel like studying at the moment and had nothing to do (seriously, I needed to get a life), I decided to make Esme some company and watch…_Oprah._

Shudder.

Fucking women TV shows.

I sat next to her with my legs Indian-style and threw a brief glance at the TV, rapidly looking away.

"Uh…Jacob's coming over," I said. "Is that okay?"

"Of course it is," Esme smiled at me. "You don't have to ask, sweetheart."

"Ok," I smiled, too. Then, I remembered something. "Momma?"

"What is it, honey?" She turned to me. I took a deep breath.

"Have you ever…heard anything about…werewolves?"

She stared at me blankly before brushing her cold hand against my forehead. She tilted her head.

"I'm not sure if I can distinguish, but I don't think you're running a fever."

I sighed and closed my eyes, frustrated with her answer.

"I meant…_real _werewolves, not shape-shifters. You know, full moon, silver bullets…ring any bells?"

"Oh," she said, seeming a bit embarrassed. She started to shake her head but then stopped. "Actually…I remember your father saying something about that." I instantly sat up straighter. It seemed I would finally get some true information. "He heard about them when he lived with the Volturi, but I don't think they were called werewolves."

"What…what are they called?"

"Children of the moon. Wait, didn't Carlisle tell you?"

"I can't remember," I replied, sighing. "So they do exist."

"Their race is near extinction, if not completely inexistent."

"No." I shook my head, looking down. "Not inexistent."

"How do you know?" Her question startled me and I realized I shouldn't have said that in the first place. I chose to make another question to distract her:

"How did so many of them disappear?"

"Caius got into a fight with one of them many years ago, long before any member of our family was even born. Rumor is that it is a very powerful creature, capable of destroying one of us and Caius almost got killed. So, the Volturi started a war against them and of course, won. But why do you ask?" she quizzed.

"Curiosity, that's all," I lied. "I was just surfing in the Internet when I found some pictures and well… it made me wonder if it really was true, since vampires and shape-shifters exist, that's all."

She nodded, although with furrowed eyebrows and focused on what was on the screen.

A child of the moon. That's what I had seen. And apparently, there were not many of them around. Well, what can I say? I'm a lucky motherfucker that had the pleasure of being chased by one. There was still a lot more to know about the children of the moon, but if the Volturi had been scared enough to attempt to end their race, it probably meant that they weren't the kind of monsters to fool around with. Well, no monster was, but…

Damn, Caius almost got killed. What if it had been one of us? One of my family or one of the pack. What would have been of them? Again, there was still a lot more to know about these creatures and I had to tell Carlisle what had happened that night, before someone got seriously hurt.

_It could be Jacob._

No.

I wouldn't let anything happen to him.

I would tell Carlisle. Tonight.

«-»

"And then, we're going to a McDonald's…" I said. "…somewhere in Forks…" I added sarcastically "…to buy popcorn," I completed. Jacob didn't dare laugh out loud, for that meant interrupting my rant and ruin all the fun, but he had to wipe his watery eyes occasionally as silent chuckles rocked him. "And we're gonna eat "pastelburgers." This time neither of us could hold it in. I snorted. He guffawed. It had all started with a simple question: _What are you thinking? _After the usual (and magnificent) kissing, Jacob had wondered why I was so silent and why I looked so thoughtful. Then I had answered something completely different to what I had actually been thinking about: _I was thinking about where I would take you this weekend. _That led me to a very absurd one-sided conversation, which left us cackling. At some point, I'd heard Emmett's booming laugh from downstairs. I didn't know where I came up with such things; I didn't know I had such a fertile imagination, but it figures I could come up with some ridiculous things to say. I was aware of the fact that I sounded like a drunken little bitch, but I didn't care. Besides, I was enjoying seeing Jacob smile so much. His smile was glorious. So I kept making him smile.

"And then what?" he asked through chuckles.

"Then, we're going to my house…"

"But we're already in your house." He threw his hands up in the air.

"No," I practically whined, punching him lightly in the arm. "I'm not talking about this one. The other one in the garden is cooler and nicer."

_Except that we had no garden._

"Cooler than this one?" he asked in mock disbelief. I nodded, grinning.

"And I'm gonna let my cat get a sniff of you, so the next time you come he doesn't attack you."

"Yeah," he snickered. "You do that. Then what are you going to cook for dinner?"

"Tuna soup made of spinach." I burst out in laughter. Jacob joined me and we fell back on the bed, holding our stomachs.

Sweet and romantic moments with Jacob were indispensable. But most of it was just physical and objective. It was mainly about the feel of his lips touching mine, our tongues clashing, our hands roaming each other's skin. There was heat and softness and it was _heavenly, _because we could transmit our love for each other.

But then there were these moments that I only had the honor of experiencing when I was with him that made me feel truly happy and carefree, like any normal seventeen-year-old. In these moments, we obviously didn't forget we were boyfriends, but we acted as if we were childhood buddies. It was just me and him. Him and me. Two crazy and funny teenagers in love. It was lightness and peace and security.

I loved it.

I loved every minute spent with Jacob.

I rolled over and rested my head on my palm, using the other hand to caress Jacob's cheek. His eyes fluttered closed and he gave a lengthy exhale. I took in his appearance. Jacob's eyelashes weren't as long as mine, or maybe his darker skin color gave away that feeling. He had such a peaceful expression on his face, a small smile playing on his full lips. I ran my thumb across his left eyelid.

Breathtaking, I thought.

My eyes traveled across his muscular body. I couldn't see his abs, because he had a T-shirt on, but I had seen them before and it was truly a marvelous sight. His biceps, unlike my own that usually went unnoticed because of their relative slenderness, were bulging and well-designed, making him look much more appealing than an infamous man supermodel. He was so…sexy. And the thought of my hands roaming that body, licking, kissing, caressing…

Made blood rush down to a certain place down there.

And instead of feeling scared and apprehensive of my body reactions to such pictures, I felt…relieved. Slowly, I was gaining trust in myself. I certainly wasn't prepared for sexual activity between us, for I feared my mind would betray me and that I would panic, but for now…I wanted to touch him and be touched, explore unknown fields.

This realization and want in the pit of my stomach (along with the tightness in my pants) made me move closer to Jacob until our bodies were pressed against each other. He rolled over to face me and I attacked his mouth hungrily, my hand under his T-shirt, the feel of his abdominals beneath it, turning me on more. Jacob draped his arm around my waist, pulling me impossibly closer. Our kisses were clumsy, our teeth colliding. His hand traveled down…and down, until it was resting on my thigh, hitching it over his leg.

I gasped.

Jacob opened his eyes, looking like a deer caught in headlights.

And then I smiled. Because that had felt _oh so good_.

"Don't stop," I pleaded breathlessly. He seemed skeptical. I kissed him again to assure him I was okay. "Please keep doing it."

He looked down. When his head rose to meet my eyes, his face broke into a grin.

And we kept doing it.

We were both panting. At some point, I may have moaned. We whispered _I love you_'s and touched each other as we hadn't ever done until then. It was blissful.

His hand wandered, drawing circles on my thigh and started moving up-

_Knock. Knock._

We groaned in unison.

The door opened and we quickly separated and sit up, our cheeks flushing with embarrassment as Carlisle stood leaning against the door, arms crossed over his chest, his lips shut tightly and his eyes narrowed.

_Great way to kill a hard-on, Dad._

"Am I interrupting something?" he asked, sarcasm evident in his voice.

"No," Jacob answered, at the same time I said "Yes". I wasn't afraid of being frontal with Carlisle. There was no point in lying to him.

"Jacob, I believe it's getting late. It's past dinner time. Your father must be worried about you." His British accent (that was more noticeable at the moment) made him sound much colder than his usual self.

"Uh…sure," he replied and got up, but not before pecking my lips. I wanted to tell him to stay and have dinner with me, but the look Carlisle shot me as I opened my mouth made me close it immediately. Jacob smiled tightly at me and I waved him goodbye. He nodded at Carlisle politely and before I knew it, he was out of my sight.

I sighed, already missing him and suddenly pissed at my father.

"What was that about?" I questioned. He shrugged and looked away. I wasn't expecting this reaction. Not from him. He was always so understanding and accepting. Why was he acting like such a jerk? "What's gotten into you? You're never this orthodox when it's about…this."

"It's different," he sighed.

"How come?" I screeched, annoyed that he thought such things. All the others were free to do what they wanted. Why would I be any different?

Carlisle's expression was pained.

Oh.

"Oh, Dad." I stood up and crossed the room to embrace him. He wrapped his cold arms around me and rested his forehead on my shoulder. "Jacob would never hurt me."

"I know that. I just…feel very protective of you after what happened."

I cringed.

"There's no need for that. Honestly, Jacob would never hurt me that way." I raised my head to look him in the eye. "We love each other, Dad. He makes me happier than I've ever been." I chuckled quietly. "Besides, you know I would totally kick his ass if he tried anything."

He shot me a disapproving glance because of my language, but I could see the corners of his lips twitching up.

"Okay," he nodded. "Just…be careful."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, but nodded nonetheless.

"Uh…Dad?" I called, before he could open the door. We had some things to talk about.

"Yes?" he said, turning around.

"I need to talk to you, if you don't mind."

"Of course I don't, son. What is it?"

"I think we should have a seat."

Carlisle stared at me with furrowed eyebrows, but ended up complying, sitting on a chair next to the bed. I sat in front of him, fidgeting with my hands.

"What do you know about the Children of the Moon?" I asked. "Please skip the Volturi part. I already know that."

"Why do you want to know?" He seemed even more confused than before.

"Tell me what you know about them and then I'll tell you."

"Okay," he agreed slowly, then started explaining. "I presume you know the myths about werewolves?" It came out as a question, so I nodded – Well, contrary to what people think, silver bullets don't affect them," he continued. _Isn't that just wonderful? _I thought sarcastically. "They sort of resemble newborns, only even more feral. They don't know such things as packs, if you know what I mean. But sometimes they run with one companion of the opposite gender as well, which means, of course, both women and men can be infected."

"Infected?" I interposed. "Is it some sort of disease?"

"No," he shook his head, appearing slightly amused. "Children of the Moon have many similarities to vampires. The only way they can spread their species is through a bite. They feed off blood, too. They're completely normal in their human form though."

"How come Caius almost got killed while fighting with one of them? Esme told me that, by the way."

"Aro told me they were very difficult to kill while in animal form. Their strength is enough to destroy a lone vampire. They're very fast, as well, of course."

"But…Caius could use the venom to his advantage, right?"

"They're immune to vampire venom, in both human and wolf forms. And when I say immune, I mean…_immune," _he stressed.

"Nothing happens?" I asked in disbelief.

"They don't even feel pain."

"Wow." My eyes widened. It figures these creatures were even more powerful than I had first thought. It definitely wasn't good news.

"Now…my turn. Why did you want to know?"

"Uh…" I struggled to find it in me to tell him. I knew it needed to be done. The sooner the better, but I was also afraid of the consequences. I was sure that after I told him it would be complicated to…leave the house, for example. There were two things I couldn't live without: privacy and freedom. And those two could be taken away once I revealed what I had seen to my father. Maybe he would react calmly, which was his usual response. But judging by the way he had handled everything that had happened from the moment he found out I was pregnant until now, it wasn't likely. However, this wasn't just about me. There was a very dangerous monster out there and we needed to be ready. All of us. I couldn't let that _thing _hurt someone innocent. It needed to be stopped before something of the sort happened. "I…sort of…saw one." I mumbled almost incoherently, staring at my lap. He didn't say anything, probably too shocked, so I decided it would be for the best if I gave him further information. "Like…two weeks ago," I said a little louder. "I was coming from Jacob's house and it was just…in the middle of the road. At first I thought it was a person and I offered help but I was given no answer so I got in the car. That's when I saw what it actually was and I was just…terrified so I simply drove off. It chased me, but after a while I heard a howl and that's when I noticed it had vanished."

One minute. One hour. Who knows how much time could have passed? I certainly did not. One thing I was sure of though: the silence was killing me. I slowly raised my head and looked up at him, wondering what he might be thinking. His gaze was stern but also perplexed and there was even some fear in his eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" he finally spoke.

"I've been blocking it for the past days." I shrugged. "I couldn't even _think _about it. It gave me chills. I've had some nightmares about it," I sighed. "Only today I grew some balls, it seems."

Carlisle rolled his eyes at my vocabulary, his face becoming once again serious and almost frantic.

"You could have gotten killed, Edward!"

It was my turn to roll my eyes. "That's very comparative. I could have fallen down the stairs just now and died as well."

"Edward," he insisted.

"Dad, I do realize what could have happened. Hell, I was convinced I was gonna die. I'm just asking you not to treat me like I'm made of glass from now on. Do what you think should be done, but please do not suffocate me."

His eyes lingered on my face for more than necessary until a heavy sigh escaped him and he nodded solemnly.

Now I just hoped he was being truthful.

**~Preview~**

"_**Dad…I…I think I'm g-gay."**_


	13. We're not perfect

**A/N: Oh, hey. I'm back. I resurrected. Oh, yeah, long story. So, I died, then, I went to Hell because there's no place for me in Heaven and now I'm back. Oh, I managed to write a chapter while I visited my dear friend Mr. Devil.**

***looks down embarrassed* Not funny, I know.**

**But…**

**Here it is. FINALLY!**

**I hope you like it, although Ed and Jake don't share a very romantic moment in this chapter. Oh, well, you'll see.**

**Ok, this chapter is not beta'd. Honestly, I lost track of my beta. So, if any of you would like to correct my chapters, please review and tell me. I need a native speaker who is older than me (older than fourteen, since I'm not thirteen anymore – yay!). Merci, my friends.**

**I don't own Twilight.**

***smiles maliciously* You know it would be completely different if I did, right? **

JPOV

If you asked me if I was mentally okay, I'd say yes. If you asked me about my emotional well-being, I'd say I was more than fine. But if you asked me if I was comfortable at the moment, I'd shout loud and clear NO! I mean, is it possible to be completely fine with someone watching all the moves you make, speculating, evaluating? It's been like this for the past few days now. For some odd reason, my dad has been watching me more carefully than usual. Much more. It's like he knew I was hiding something and he was trying to figure out what it was. His stare was unnerving and almost judgmental.

That's why I was reluctant about sharing my secret with him.

I didn't like to lie to my old man. It always got frustrating for both of us. I didn't usually do that. My dad and I were very close. Therefore, we rarely kept secrets from each other. When my mom had died, we found solace in each other, although I had been only eight years old, going on nine. As I grew up, our relationship became even stronger. When my sisters had left, things had gotten even more difficult. But we'd always been there for each other. Not only as family, but as best friends, as well. Then, because of his diabetes he was confined to a wheelchair.

To say we had had a tough life would be an understatement.

But we always had each other and that simple fact made us both reasonably happy.

Whenever I needed, he was there for me. During my transformation, he was there to comfort me and give me advice.

So, yes, I felt bad for not telling him about Edward and me. It's not like I knew what I should say. It would be fine if I explained why I was in a relationship with him, but what could I say about my…sexual preferences? I didn't even know if I was gay. And if I said I was, how would my father react? He was very understanding when it came to his son, but…what if he didn't accept it? We'd never talked about something like this before.

At the same time I battled with my own thoughts, considering what was best, Billy stared at me, his plate already empty, while mine was still full. One would think I was sick. Even _he_ had looked at me with concern. Now all he did was watch me with an unreadable expression. My eyes were fixed on the table, my left hand gripping a poor fork.

Well, why not start by putting my stomach out of its misery?, I thought as I began eating. In a matter of minutes, I had managed to completely empty the plate. The silence was torturing me, making my head swirl with indecision.

"Alright ," my dad's deep voice startled me. I looked up to find him gazing at me intently…again. "Spill it."

"Spill what?" I feigned innocence.

"I know you're hiding something. This has gone for too long. Just tell me, son."

The sincerity of his voice almost made me cringe. Here he was, accepting my decisions as he usually did and still, I acted like a fucking pussy, afraid of his reaction towards what I had yet to tell him. And then, there was that fucking image in my head of a small version of myself dressed in red with a pitchfork in my hand, shouting "Busted!" and laughing like a maniac.

_Motherfucker._

I sighed.

It was now or never.

"Dad…" I took a deep breath. "I…I think I'm g-gay," I gulped and looked down, embarrassed. When I looked up, I found him giving me the most unexpected expression: amusement. "You think it's funny?" I asked, both angry and shocked.

"Oh, sorry, son," he chuckled. "It was just the way you said it."

I rolled my eyes. "Glad I entertain you," I grumbled.

"Now, Jake, it's not my intention to make fun of you."

"S'okay," I shrugged. "But…wait, you're okay with this?" I questioned, perplexed.

"Well, don't expect me to give you advice when it comes to…you know." He cleared his throat, uncomfortable. In truth, I wouldn't ask for advice even if I was completely straight. It just wasn't me, sharing that kind of information with someone. My sex life was my and only my business and well, now Edward's, too, of course, since I didn't plan in breaking up with him any time soon and I'd never betray him. "I suppose you developed feelings for Edward. Am I correct?"

"Yes." I nodded with furrowed eyebrows, wondering how in the hell he knew about that. "Is it that obvious?"

"Not exactly, but…you're my son, Jacob. I notice those things."

"Of course you do," I murmured, resting my arms on the table.

"I just don't understand why you never said anything. I thought you loved Bella."

"I did love her, Dad. This is very new to me, too. I think that…behind all the hate and jealousy, I've had feelings for Ed all along. When I found him in those woods, broken and scared, I think it became clear to me that I actually liked him. Then it soon became love," I whispered the last part, afraid that he might think I was rushing things. "Dad, Edward and I are together…as a couple. I'm sorry I didn't tell you any of this sooner."

He smiled warmly. "Edward is a good kid. I'm happy for you two. Just…be careful with his family. The last thing I want is for you to get hurt."

"I'll be fine, Dad. Thank you." I stood up and approached him. "Now give your favorite son a hug." I leaned down and wrapped my arms around him. He laughed, returning the gesture. "I love you, Pa."

"I love you, too, kiddo."

«-»

One of my favorite things about being a werewolf is our speed. It feels fucking amazing – much, much better than riding a motorcycle and that's saying something. We, supernatural creatures, do not get burning limbs when we run. Instead, it feels like we're flying. When we're alone, it's like being underwater; we're separated from the rest of the world.

There were some other good aspects about being a werewolf, some of them being our healing abilities and awesome reflexes.

So, yeah, being a werewolf seems really cool, it has a lot of advantages, blah, blah.

But then there are wolf's responsibilities like keeping our tribe and also the "pale-faces" safe, protecting them from the cold ones.

And that's the shitty part.

Hell, I was sixteen. Most sixteen-year-old kids had the right to have fun. But of course, dear me had to be different. Instead of partying with my friends, I was on fucking patrol.

_Quit whining, Jake, you're giving me a headache, _Embry complained.

_Poor you, _I commented sarcastically.

Of course the others agreed with me. Sam had told us to think of this as our own way of "hanging out". It's not like the company was bad or anything, but I'd rather be somewhere else, doing something else. Searching for bloodsuckers on our land or their scent for that matter wasn't exactly my favorite hobby. Killing them was a totally different story though.

The problem was that there was no sign that some leech had passed by whatsoever. It was fucking frustrating.

My eyesight in wolf form was very accurate. The colors were much more vivid and I could notice the smallest of things. My hearing and sense of smell were way more advanced, too. Being in wolf form was, basically, like entering another world, where everything looked very real but at the same time seemed impossible.

_Holy shit, _I heard Collin whine. We were all startled from our mental rambling. It was sort of weird, being so far away from people who were "talking to you". Collin had ended up in Forks and from what I could see, he was in the same spot Bella, Edward and I had camped before the big fight with the newborn bloodsuckers. I hadn't forgotten that night. It was back in the time when I'd thought I hated Edward and that Bella and I should be together.

I snorted at the irony.

Apparently, Collin was complaining about some sour stench up in the mountains, admitting it was almost as unbearable as a vampire's scent. From what his mind showed us, the smell wasn't similar to anything we'd smelled before. Collin searched for any dead animals (because that's how it smelled like) in the area but couldn't find a single vestige.

All my mates sounded confused and curious.

There were five of us today: Embry, Collin, Seth, Jared and me. We were all in different areas and immediately stopped running when we heard Collin's thoughts.

It was, indeed, strange. Collin's description of the repulsive scent made us all feel lucky that we weren't there with him. It wasn't just dead animal stench, it was _decomposing_ animal stench. I did know that there were not many different species in that area. It had to be a big animal to smell that bad.

What did the Cullen's hunt?

_Jacob, it's not just one animal. There have to be more. Too bad I can't freaking find any of them!, _Collin intervened.

_So? They hunt a lot, you know, _I replied.

_But of course they do, _Jared agreed, _Their favorite hobby is sucking blood. You should know that by now, kid._

_Shut up, will ya?, _Seth snapped (a not so usual reaction from him). Jared complied.

The only thing I could come up with was that someone had killed those animals and taken them with them when they left. But why would they do that?

_I would know if some bloodsucker had been here, Jake, _Collin disagreed with my suspicions.

I was out of options of what to think. I would have to ask the Cullen's.

«-»

"So, how're you doing?" she asked.

"I'm fairly alright," I answered. In a way, I was much more than alright. How couldn't I be? I had the best boyfriend in the world. "What about you?"

"I'm on cloud nine," she giggled. I rolled my eyes, but smiled nonetheless. It was good to see my sister this happy. I'd been apprehensive at first and maybe in denial, but now I was sure Paul was the right guy for her. The proof was visible.

"Don't you ever get sick of it?" I wondered. Sam used to describe imprinting as a way of creating a beautiful relationship. Imprinting meant more than that to me. It meant being sick when you were away from your mate and being completely focused on them to the point of…obsession. It didn't feel right. Shouldn't we be able to choose who we wanted to be with?

"No," she shook her head with furrowed eyebrows. "Why would you think that?"

"'Cause…" I took a deep breath, not knowing how to explain. I took a sip of my coke and stared at the green and dense forest in my backyard. We were both sitting on a broken tree trunk, enjoying the peace of the early morning and each other's company.

"Are you afraid of imprinting?" she asked quietly, almost shyly even.

"Yes," I sighed, figuring there was no point in denying it. I was fucking terrified of how it would change everything. Edward and I had gone through so much and the last thing I wanted was to be with someone other than him. I had _chosen_ him. I wasn't with him because I had just looked at him and fallen in love. I'd chosen him because of his emotional strength and sarcastic comments. I'd chosen him because he was trustworthy and loyal. I'd chosen him because of his selflessness and loving and caring ways. It was a good thing he was fucking beautiful, but I would still love him even if he was ugly.

One of my worst fears was imprinting, because there was no one who could replace Edward. There was no one who could make me laugh like he did, who could surprise me like he did. He made me feel like I was some sort of God's gift walking on Earth. And when we fought, I felt even better afterwards.

Because we had survived it.

Who knows? Maybe there was someone out there with a personality that resembled Edward's. But whoever they were…

They just couldn't replace him completely.

He was unique.

"Are you dating someone?" she questioned, catching me off guard.

"Yes," I admitted. I was tired of lying all the time. I was tired of keeping secrets from the ones I loved. My dad already knew. I was sure Rachel wouldn't judge me. She usually scolded me for my mistakes, being the good big sister she was. But she had never judged me.

"It's okay, you know," she assured me, smiling. "It's perfectly normal not wanting to wait. You deserve to be happy."

"Thank you, Rachel," I murmured, taking her hand in mine and squeezing it. Her coffee brown eyes were warm and understanding.

"So, who's the lucky girl?"

I remained in silence. Should I tell her? I still thought it was too soon. She would probably pretend she understood and support me, but I was afraid that she would find it weird and stop hanging out with me.

"Yes!" I heard her hiss. I looked up, startled and confused to see her grinning. "I won," she giggled. "I won the bet!"

"What bet?" My eyes widened.

"Emily kept saying you were straight. But I knew it!" She clapped her hands. "You and Ed are in love," she sang. "We made a bet. Twenty bucks. And I won." She threw her fist in the air.

"Wait, what?" I screeched. "You made a fucking bet?"

"Language, bro." She slapped my forearm. "You and Edward are so cute together, I swear!"

Seriously, I was starting to doubt my and Edward's subtleness. This wasn't good. At all. If Rachel and Dad had figured it out it was possible that the others had also done it by now.

Oh, well, at least Emily didn't notice.

"What are you talking about?" I put on a confused expression, seeing if she fell for it.

She did.

And it was really fucking funny.

"Oh, shit," I laughed. "You should have seen your face!"

"Holy Mother." She put a hand over her chest and breathed out in relief. "Don't do that again."

"Sure, sure," I chuckled. We both knew it was unlikely.

«-»

It was one of those days.

Those days when Edward was pissed and ended up pissing _me _off. I didn't know what was wrong with him. He looked extremely frustrated with his arms crossed over his chest and his leg bouncing up and down frenetically as he stared off into space, refusing to talk. He would nod from time to time, pretending to agree with whatever I was saying. I had my arm around his shoulders but he was making no move to touch me.

I'd known for quite a while that he had these mood swings that would leave you huffing and stomping your foot in frustration. I was usually patient with him, but I was having none of that today.

"What's your problem?" I snapped. He slowly raised his head to look at me and his eyes softened.

"Nothing," he sighed, shrugging. And now he'd gone from pissed to upset.

"Don't give me that shit. What's wrong?" I said, this time softly, squeezing his shoulder slightly.

"It's…Bella told me pregnant women could do ultrasounds at this stage of the pregnancy. I really thought I could do it and I asked Carlisle. I was so sure, but…" he trailed off.

"But?" I pressed. This news was supposed to make him happy. Maybe they had done. There was a "but" though. That's probably why he was acting like this.

"I can't. I have to wait. I don't have a fucking vagina," he huffed but then blushed. "Not that I wish I had, of course. You know what I mean, don't you?"

No, I didn't, actually, but I nodded nevertheless. But I sort of understood the part in which he said he didn't wish he had a vagina. I _really _did. I wouldn't wish that to anyone.

"Sure, sure. Your baby is fine, Ed. Don't you worry." I smiled reassuringly. Honestly, I didn't know shit about babies and pregnancies, let alone Incubus and their weird ability to carry children. Fuck, I was worried, too, because as weird as it may sound I think I loved the little boy inside Edward as well (I really hoped it was a boy).

"I know," he sighed, closing his eyes. "He hasn't given me a good kick in a while, that is true." The corners of his lips twitched up. "I just wanted to see him."

"We have time." I kissed his cheek. "Just be patient, baby."

He turned to me and captured my lips.

"You're amazing," he said and I rested my forehead against his. I looked into his green eyes tinted with golden speckles. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

We stayed like that for two whole hours, just enjoying each other's company and talking about random things. I suddenly remembered that I still had to talk with Carlisle about the scent Collin had found yesterday. It was just beyond strange and plainly confusing. I'd chosen not to dwell on the subject, knowing that I wouldn't figure it out by myself.

I could smell him from downstairs. I could presume he was in his office.

"Carlisle's upstairs," Edward said. Whenever I thought he was oblivious to my inner thoughts, he managed to surprise me. "What do you need to talk to him about?"

"Wow, you're talented," I chuckled, but then I sighed, remembering what had happened yesterday. "Do you remember where Bella, you and I stayed before the battle with Victoria and the newborn leeches?" I asked to verify if he did remember, since there were a lot of things he couldn't recall. He nodded, interested in what I was about to tell." Collin; I don't think you know him but anyway, he's one of the pack; smelled something…awful…there."

"Define awful."

"He described it as sour…it was really bad, like decomposing dead animals. There was no vampire scent there and he _couldn't _find the corpses."

"Odd," he mused. The burning in my nostrils intensified, warning me of the presence of a vampire.

"Definitely," Carlisle agreed, sitting on the opposite couch with furrowed eyebrows and pressing his hands together. Edward pursed his lips, pensive. He had a look of concentration on his face that made him look even more adorable than usual. He squinted and ran his hand through his hair a couple of times before dropping it to his lap and raising his head.

"Is there…" he started very lowly so he cleared his throat and spoke louder. "Is there any way this could have anything to do with the Children of the Moon?"

_The what?_

Carlisle's black eyes widened.

"Perhaps," he narrowed his eyes, contemplating.

"It makes sense," Edward almost whispered. "The scent may belong to one. Perhaps the one I saw." I noticed his shudder. Seriously, what the fuck was going on? Why did Carlisle look almost panicked? Why was Edward's heart thumping so fast? Who were the Children of the Moon?

"I'm lost," I declared. "What are you talking about?"

"Werewolves," Carlisle answered immediately. _Nice, I got stuck on the same page. _At my bemused expression, he proceeded to explain. "I can tell you consider yourself a werewolf, Jacob, but true werewolves are the Children of the Moon. Unlike you, they can only phase under full moon."

I'd always thought shape-shifters and vampires were the only supernatural creatures that did exist. When Rachel had asked if we needed full moon to phase, I'd laughed out loud. I'd always thought it was a mere myth. Fuck, I was so naïve.

Wait, Edward saw one? Why the hell didn't he tell me?

No, seriously, I was getting pissed off. At Edward.

He was the one who needed protection, so why did he keep omitting shit? I stood up, my anger sensed by Edward's dad that stared at me alarmed.

"You should have told me," I growled. He looked up at me, startled and shocked. "You shouldn't have kept me in the dark. When did this happen?"

His eyes searched for something as he watched me. He parted his lips and furrowed his eyebrows.

"Two weeks ago," he murmured. My anger was replaced by hurt. Two fucking weeks without knowing that my boyfriend could have gotten killed. I knew very little about these Children of the Moon, whatever the fuck they were. By the emotions displayed on Carlisle's face, I knew this was a big deal and I had the right to know. They were most likely very dangerous. But Edward hadn't said anything. He'd lied to me with little to no shame.

I was not only mad at him, but also hurt by his actions. He needed to know that he couldn't keep doing this shit, that I wouldn't tolerate this behavior. I was fed up with his cowardice.

"I trusted you, Edward. But I don't know if I can do it anymore. I thought you trusted me, too, but it seems I was wrong."

"Jacob…"

"Shut up!" I snapped loudly, as tremors cursed through my body, warning me that I was starting to lose control. I took a few deep calming breaths and they went away as quickly as they came. Carlisle's icy hand on my forearm and furious eyes admonishing me made me realize that maybe I'd gone further than necessary. But what almost made me forgive Edward in that moment was his pained face and watery green eyes. I wasn't done yet, though. "I thought you'd have learnt your lesson by now. You should know better than lying to people. Look where it got you last time you did it. Not only you're a masochist, but you're also a coward, Edward. And honestly, I'm fed up."

Faster than I believed was humanly possible, he stood up as well, pushing me angrily. I took a step back to give him space. He obviously wanted to fight. I suddenly remembered that he hadn't apologized yet and that made me even more pissed.

"Stop telling me what I should do," he said through gritted teeth.

"Jacob, you should leave…" Carlisle started, his voice low and dripping with fury.

"Stay out of it," Edward whispered. His father looked taken aback. "Please."

"I'll be in my office," he glared at me with coal eyes, the message clear. I'd be a dead man if I forgot my boundaries. But I wouldn't dare physically hurt Edward. We all knew that. Carlisle walked away slowly, pausing to verify that his son was safe before disappearing from our sights.

"You're overreacting." He crossed his arms over his chest.

"I'm overreacting?" I laughed bitterly. "Stop being such a selfish prick. What if it had been me? How would _you _react?" I knew I had him there. He didn't reply. He just looked away.

"I'm sorry," he finally apologized in a quiet and small voice.

"Sorry won't do it, Edward. How can I be sure that you won't do it again? First with Bella, then with your family and now with me. You keep hurting yourself and the people who love you. I know you'd never tell anyone about my personal shit. I thought you knew that I would always do the same for you as well."

"I said I was sorry," he looked up at me fiercely. "Do you want me to get on my knees and plead for forgiveness? Get a fucking punch bag if that's what you need, but I won't have you verbally fighting with me over something so insignificant!"

"Insignificant?" I roared in his face. He didn't even flinch. "You could have died! But of course you don't care, do you? I would be the one to deal with the pain of losing you."

He stared at me blankly with his famous poker face that I hadn't seen in a long time. It was one of those expressions of his that annoyed me to no end, so it definitely wasn't helping my case now. He bit the right side of his lip and moved his head up and down with a bitter scoff.

"I'm going for a walk," he whispered.

"No, you're not," I scowled. He narrowed his eyes at me. Was he insane? He had just told me he'd seen a…werewolf and now he wanted to go for a walk alone? No, seriously. His brain mustn't be functioning rightly at the moment. I was mad at him, yes, but the last thing I wanted was for him to get hurt. I couldn't let that happen.

"We'll see," he defied me. My hands curled into fists, but my furious expression didn't stop him from moving. I took a step towards the door, but stopped when I realized he was heading upstairs, taking two steps at a time. "And don't you follow me," he growled over his shoulder. I laughed out loud.

"Like I would, you pompous ass!" I shouted, since he was already out of my sight. I then heard a door slamming closed.

Okay, maybe I had been too harsh, but he had it coming. I almost chuckled at the irony. Not too long ago I'd thought of him as trustworthy and loyal and now I was facing this situation. He was obviously pissed, but so was I and while I had a reason, he didn't. I knew that when he lied, he did it with good intentions, but this was simply unacceptable. For fuck sake, I was his boyfriend! He couldn't keep shit like this from me.

At this point, I realized I didn't quite know what had actually happened. The only thing I knew was that Edward had seen…a child of the moon. And Carlisle knew. Edward had told his dad. Why in the hell didn't he tell _me_?

Did I overreact? I tended to do so in these cases. I hated to be kept in the dark. I _really _did.

But no. Yes, the way I had spoken to him hadn't been very nice, but I had every right to be angry. There was no excuse this time.

I figured he would probably lock himself up in his room and listen to Linkin Park's angriest songs really fucking loudly.

But I heard no Linkin Park.

I heard drawers slamming closed instead. And footsteps.

Still, I certainly wasn't expecting him to come down with different clothes. He was wearing black basketball shorts, a red T-shirt and a grey hoodie over it. The straps of his backpack resting on his shoulders reminded me that he was here for some reason.

He was "going for a walk", as he'd said he would.

He barely looked at me as he crossed the room with a cold expression on his face. I simply glared at him, somewhat defeated. I couldn't force him to stay here and honestly, things between us were too fucking tense. We both needed space and being in the same house certainly didn't help. I was shit scared that something would happen to him and it would have been wiser if _I _had left, not him. I still trusted him to call someone if he was in danger. He was smart and very likely able to escape unfortunate and risky situations alive and unharmed, but…who knows? His freaky Pixie sister would tell me if she saw something, right? But what if she _didn't _see anything? What if she thought her brother was with me when he could very well be with someone she couldn't see? Like…Ephraim.

Edward had given me his family members' numbers when we'd started working together to find Ephraim. "In case you need", he'd said. I definitely needed it now. I pressed "call" and waited for Alice to pick up. Finally, after three rings, I heard her high-pitched voice:

"Hello?" she giggled. "Jazz, stop, can't you see I'm on the phone?"

"Hi," I greeted curtly, rolling my eyes. I didn't know what those two were up to or what I'd interrupted nor did I want to.

"Jacob. Why are you calling me? Where did you get my number?"

"Edward gave it to me in case I needed it. Listen, can you see Edward's future?"

"Uh…yeah," she answered slowly with a rather unsure tone. Her reply was followed by silence that was soon interrupted as she proceeded to tell me what she had seen. "I saw him playing basketball alone. He looked angry. What happened?"

"We had a fight," I sighed. "If his future disappears or if you see him in danger, tell me, okay?"

"Of course."

"Thanks, Pixie."

"Any time."

With that, I hung up, feeling both relieved and frustrated. I could relax…for now.

I covered my eyes with my hand and leaned back on the sofa.

This definitely wasn't how I expected my day to go.

«-»

"I hope you have understood everything," Carlisle finished and broke eye-contact with me, giving me some time to think about what he had just told me.

Children of the Moon were dangerous. Almost as dangerous as vampires were. Maybe more, actually, since they didn't act rationally in their "wolf" form. I figured I could call them "leeches", too. They did drink blood after all. I was glad they didn't have too many similarities with shape-shifters. In fact, these werewolves only had one characteristic which I could relate to – their animal form (which wasn't even that akin to ours).

By the way Carlisle had described them, I could confirm that Edward was very lucky.

He told me that those bloodsuckers from Italy had to step in when they thought these creatures were a threat (and when one of them had almost been murdered by said creatures). It wasn't difficult to understand.

What was difficult to understand, though, was why Edward hadn't said anything. Didn't he trust me? Did he think I wouldn't believe him? I just couldn't wrap my head around it.

Looking back at our fight and some of the things I had said to him, I realized I had been too harsh. _Maybe _I had overreacted. I just…

Why? Why the fuck didn't he tell me?

"You better apologize to him," Carlisle's voice startled me from my thoughts. I furrowed my eyebrows, both confused and angry.

"What?"

"You heard me. It will be difficult enough for him to forgive you as it is, but you should at least give it a try."

"He was the one who lied to me!"

"First of all, he didn't lie to you, he simply omitted the truth." I opened my mouth to protest, but he held up his finger, silencing me. "Before you say anything, it is _not _the same thing. Secondly, he had his reasons to not tell you what happened. And thirdly, the way you treated him today is not the way a boyfriend should treat his…well…boyfriend."

"What were those reasons?" I asked, genuinely interested. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose before raising his head to fully look at me.

"Did it ever occur to you that he didn't tell you because he was too traumatized to even think about it?"

"That's bullshit. He told _you."_

He narrowed his eyes and clenched his hands into fists.

"He told me two days ago," he said through clenched teeth. "And trust me, he didn't look very comfortable."

Uh…yeah…

Do you know those moments when you wish you could just dig a hole to bury yourself in? It sucks, I know. Guilt is a torturous bitch. It makes you hate yourself to the point of self-disgust. It makes your muscles stiffen. You want to hit something so hard that you have to stay in a rigid position to control yourself. Then you realize you should be hitting your own head, because it's _your _fault.

It was _my_ fault.

I felt like crying, really. I was surprised at how inconsiderate I had been with the one person I loved most in the whole world. But the worst part was that I now realized I had hurt Edward. I knew he loved me just as much as I did him. What if Edward had said those things to me? What if he had insulted me in that way? How would I feel?

Like shit, I can guess.

He had every right to be angry at me. Hell, he had every right to hurt me. Physically or emotionally. It didn't matter. I was a depriving, disgusting and worthless asshole. Edward was too good for me. He deserved someone much better than me.

I heard someone snort as I climbed down the stairs shakily. I had already figured someone had got home because the sickly sweet scent had intensified a few minutes ago. I entered the living room to see Jasper sitting on the couch with a book in his hands and an amused expression on his face. He probably knew how I was feeling and, for some reason, it entertained him.

"So you think it's funny?" I snapped, although my voice was raspy and didn't sound as strong as I wished it would. Jasper looked up and chuckled.

"You just remind me of someone with your self-hate, that's all," he clarified. "A certain brother of mine," he mumbled with a snicker. I realized I was, indeed, imitating Edward when he was still immortal. The knowledge made me feel even guiltier.

"Where's Alice?" I tried to change the topic.

"She's at Bella's."

I nodded, not able to find my voice. I leaned against the white wall, fidgeting with my hands.

What now? I didn't know what to do. I had fucked up big time. I doubted Edward would forgive me. Would he break up with me? The thought brought tears to my eyes. What would be of me without him?

"Why are you giving up?" Jasper suddenly inquired. I cleared my throat, trying to get rid of the huge lump there. His question left me bewildered. I had hurt his brother. Did he really want us to be together? "He'll forgive you, you know. If you apologize, of course. He loves you too much to let you go."

With that, he left, giving me time and space to process his words.

«-»

"Come on." My leg bounced up and down, anxiously. "Pick up, please."

It was the third time I tried to call him in thirty minutes. He just wouldn't pick up the phone. I was starting to doubt Jasper's words.

No. I couldn't.

I loved his brother too much to give up.

This had to be done face to face. I had no idea when he would show up and I decided I couldn't wait anymore. Besides, it was getting late and I didn't want him out there by himself. I just had to figure out where he was. Alice had said he was playing basketball. I only knew of one place in Forks where he could do that and I didn't believe it was very safe. Not many people went there, so if someone tried to hurt him, no one would be there to help him. I knew Alice would call if she saw something, but what if we got there too late?

I didn't hesitate. I was outside the house before I had time to really think about it. I hopped in my Rabbit with a destination in mind. I pressed down the pedal and drove through the lonely streets of Forks. I hadn't gone to that basketball field in a long time. I used to hang out with Quil and Embry there before I phased for the first time, although basketball wasn't a sport I was exactly fond of. The field was surrounded by trees (as any other place in Forks was). The backboards were old and dirty as were the baskets which were mere hoops. The nets had disappeared long ago. The lines on the cement ground had already faded. It certainly didn't look like an adequate place for Edward to hang out.

Yet, here he was, doing crossovers and shots. I breathed out in relief when I saw him. He was okay. Physically, at least. I paused for a moment to watch him. He was definitely a good player and the way he moved…

Damn.

It was graceful, in a very manly way. His chest moved up and down frenetically as he panted and sweat made its way down his back and face. He was gritting his teeth with a very concentrated look on his face, which seemed angry and pained. He didn't dribble calmly and cautiously, but with anger and strength instead. It was as if someone was defending him, although he was playing alone. He hesitated, he jinked past, he even protected the ball. And finally, he ran straight to the backboard and jumped, shooting. And…

He missed.

A groan fell from his lips and he doubled over to catch his breath. The ball ended up next to his backpack, which was leaning against a tree. I noticed that he was wearing only his T-shirt. It wasn't too cold today, but he was sweating and I was sure catching a cold wasn't on his list of "Favorite wishes". He stood up slowly and ran to get the ball. Then, he was on the field again. One dribble. Two dribbles.

And he stopped all of a sudden, holding the ball under his arm.

Deciding to break the silence, I took a step forward and spoke. "Hi."

It wasn't much, I knew, but it was the first thing I'd thought of. He didn't answer. He just stood there with a rigid posture. I continued, figuring he wouldn't collaborate until I really apologized:

"I'm sorry. I know it's not enough, but…" I sighed. "I'm so sorry."

I took a few more steps in his direction. My voice wasn't loud and I wanted to him to hear the sincerity in my words.

Before I knew it, there was a ball flying in my direction. Thanks to my good reflexes, it didn't hit my face, although I didn't catch it; I simply covered my face with my arm and the ball hit it instead. It happened so fast, I couldn't quite understand what had happened until I saw that Edward had turned around and was staring at me, fists clenched tightly and furious green eyes staring at me. No ball under his arm. He walked towards me in a fast pace, reaching me in less than two pint five seconds. He grabbed the collar of my dark blue T-shirt and pulled me down so he could sneer in my face:

"I should punch you right now!"

With that, he released me, shoving me with all his strength. He barely managed to make me stumble backwards a little. I watched him with parted lips and wide eyes, not expecting him to react this way. I knew he would be angry but not like this. The guy seemed ready to beat me into a pulp. This was good. He didn't look sad or disappointed. Just angry. I could handle that. It gave me hope.

"Why won't you?" I asked.

"Because I would probably hurt my hand," he scowled. "Don't think it's because I don't want to hurt _you."_

I almost smiled. My Edward was a feisty one.

"Feel free to hurt me with a wooden stick if you want," I said calmly. He narrowed his eyes at me and tilted his head, studying me, trying to read me. He shook his head and closed his eyes after a few seconds.

"I don't know why you bother," he whispered and then reopened his eyes. "Last time I checked, I was a selfish, pompous ass. And a coward. You shouldn't be wasting your precious time on me."

"You are a coward," I murmured. To my surprise, he smiled slightly.

"And you're hypocrite," he chuckled half-heartedly with a strained voice. I was glad he didn't look angry anymore, but the tears in his eyes made my heart ache. I nodded.

"I am. But you're not selfish. You're the most selfless person I know. And you're not a pompous ass either." I grabbed his wrist gently. "Please, forgive me. I didn't mean to hurt you. I know there's no excuse for what I did but I want you to know that I truly regret it. I swear I'll make it up to you. Just give me a chance, please."

"Jacob…" he breathed out, before stepping closer to me. I enveloped him in my arms. Slowly, his own snaked around my waist and his head rested on my chest. "I'd just like to know why," he mumbled.

"Why what?" I asked, confused.

"Why everyone judges me," he answered. My face contorted in pain. This was partly my fault. He wasn't supposed to feel like this. People weren't supposed to judge him. Yet, a lot of them did it.

"Because you're good. They put you on a pedestal. When you fail, everyone is on your ass. You're better than them. You're better than me. I should have given you time to explain. I should have listened to you and understood your position. Everyone fucks up from time to time. You're no exception. I'm no exception. We're not perfect. No one is. But you're good, baby. You're so good. That's why I love you so much."

His arms tightened around my waist.

"I love you, too. You're forgiven."

_**~Preview~**_

"_**You can open your eyes now."**_

_**As soon as I did, I gasped. This place was beautiful. Not like the meadow. Not like La Push. It was much smaller, but, at the same time, so much bigger.**_


	14. You brought napkins, right?

**A/N: Merry Christmas! I wish you a super-mega-extremely awesome New Year's Eve. Mine will be great, I just know it. Champagne all the way!**

**Sorry for taking so long, people. Send me some love Be happy and don't forget to smile!**

**Oh, I keep forgetting: I don't own Twilight!**

EPOV

As a vampire, I'd had the ability to read minds. There wasn't much I could remember about my gift. I couldn't remember which thoughts had deeply amused me or which thoughts had disgusted me. So, I couldn't recall if humans liked to run or not. I knew (from experience) that vampires loved to run. Until this moment, I'd thought: "How boring it must be for humans to run. They get tired so easily and do it so slowly."

I never thought it would be this exhilarant.

Running was just as I remembered it. My muscles ached and my lungs burned as I struggled to get enough oxygen into them – none of this had ever happened when I'd been immortal, though. But none of that mattered. I was free. Just like before. No people, no worries, no bad memories. It was pure freedom and joy. I was contradicting the wind; I was eluding the rocks that adorned the abused ground beneath my hurting feet. I was indestructible once again.

At the same time, though, I was the complete opposite. My exhausted and aching limbs, my panting and the scratches on my hands (result of the many times I had already fallen in a matter of two gratifying hours) were the proof of that.

I'd known for while that I sweated like a pig, so the awful smell coming from my body didn't surprise me. I'd been running for quite a while now and had only paused for a few minutes to catch my breath and drink some water. It didn't help matters that I was carrying a fairly full backpack. As the sun rose up high in the sky, I knew it was time to go home.

I'd decided this morning that I needed to do some kind of physical exercise. I needed to let loose a bit and get rid of the tension that had been accumulated for the past weeks. Besides, I had to start thinking about my appearance if I didn't want to become a fat lad. Jacob would still love me, I knew he would, but it would be a bit…weird. He was much better-looking than me as it was.

There wasn't much to see besides the dense and green forests. I'd seen those more times than I could count. I concentrated in the fast pace my heart was beating, as well as the song coming through the ear buds which were connected to my iPod. I got lost in the melody and energy of the song. I'd never been into folk rock, but I'd added a few music styles to my list of favorite ones after becoming human. _The Cave _by Mumford and Sons was one of the songs I was very fond of.

_The harvest left no food for you to eat,_

_You cannibal, you meat eater, you see,_

_But I have seen the same,_

_I know the shame in your defeat_

As I approached my Volvo, I couldn't help but hop in immediately, somewhat grateful that I was finally going home. I was hungry, tired and in desperate need of a shower. As much as I had enjoyed the run, I was glad it was over. My body had its limits. I started the car as the song came to a close.

_And I will hold on hope_

_And I won't let you choke_

_On the noose around your neck_

The landscape was just a blur as I sped through a wide path, knowing that my tires considered me the enemy at the moment. They liked Rosalie. She would take care of them.

And maybe wash them for me.

And maybe wash the rest of the car, too.

_And I find strength in pain,_

_And I will change my ways,_

_I'll know my name as it's called again_

It was a very nice song, indeed. It was mostly about hope and knowing how to overcome difficult situations in our lives. I could relate. It'd been a while since I'd last thought about _him _and I didn't have as much nightmares as I did before. Despite the fact that we had just found out there were werewolves (not shape-shifters) in Forks, things were going fairly well for all of us. Jacob had told his family that he and I were together and they'd accepted it without any problem.

My family and the pack had made an agreement: the pack would take care of _him _and the Cullen's would take care of the Children of the Moon. It seemed more appropriate. Vampires had better senses than shifters did and the pack knew way more about the Quileute legends than we did. Some of them weren't very happy about it. While Carlisle insisted this was the only way we could make it work, the young shifters whined about "losing all the action". In the end, they'd accepted it. My family investigated the area where Collin had found the scent as well as the zone where I had seen one. It wasn't as difficult to talk about it now that everyone knew. I still shuddered every time I remembered the beast's yellow eyes and terrifying teeth, but I'd somehow learnt how to _not _remember the werewolf's physical appearance (I just failed from time to time). Jasper had suggested they separated: Jasper's group would follow the scent starting where Collin had found it and Carlisle's would do the same but they'd start where I'd seen the werewolf. Result: Carlisle had ended up in the mountains and Jasper had stopped in _the _street. Coincidence? I didn't think so and neither did my relatives. They were surprised the scent still lingered in the air, although faintly. They'd have to wait until moon reached its fullest form and only then they would strike.

We were in the beginning of September. Bella was in Alaska; school year would soon start. She was nervous about going without me but we assured her that everything would be alright. I felt bad that she would spend her birthday alone though she told me she preferred it that way. I'd persuaded Jacob into going to school, too. After a few kisses here and there and _maybe _a make-out session, he'd agreed to go to school and start his junior year. I knew this meant spending less time with him, but I had a plan in mind. By the time he finished school, my little angel would be three months old or so and when summer break was over, we would both start our senior year. Together.

As soon as I got home, I had a long and relaxing shower, feeling the tension leave my shoulders and legs. And my balls, too. Jerking off under a spray of hot water felt fucking amazing. I hadn't done this in who knows how long. As time went by, I'd gotten sexually frustrated (you'd think I would just ignore it since I was more than a hundred years old and still a virgin). Knowing it was my fault that I wasn't getting any certainly didn't help matters. I was stuck between a blade and a wall. I desperately wanted to try new things with Jacob, but I was afraid of panicking. It would be embarrassing for both of us if that happened. I wasn't ready to have sex with him yet. Or was I? Anyway, I figured we could try other things.

I smiled.

Oh, I did want to try other things…

I quickly put on a T-shirt and sweatpants and went downstairs to have lunch. Esme's food, as always, was delicious and I found myself craving for more. I ate quickly and thanked Esme, kissing her cheek, before going to my room to take a nap.

In the middle of my slumber, though, my phone rang. I cursed lowly before picking up.

"Hello?" My voice was thick with sleep.

"Shit. Were you sleeping?"

Jacob.

"No, I was just resting my eyes," I answered sarcastically and still groggily. He chuckled.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'll just call you later. Go back to sleep, baby."

"No," I yawned and looked at the clock on my bedside table. I was wrong. He didn't call me in the middle of my siesta. I would have to wake up in a few minutes anyway – It's almost dinnertime. Thanks for waking me up – I rubbed my eyes and sat up on the bed – So, why did you call me?

"Are you busy tomorrow afternoon?"

"No, not at all. Why?"

"I want to take you to this place I found a few days ago. What time do you want me to pick you up?"

_You can pick me up anytime, anyplace, any way._

Wow, where did that come from?

"Uh…" I bit my lip, "Two o'clock?"

"I'll be there, ex-leech. I love ya."

"Love you, too."

I hung up smiling. I couldn't wait for tomorrow. I wasn't very fond of surprises, but I trusted Jacob (yes, I _did_ trust him). Besides, I wanted to spend some quality time with him. Alone. I was tired of being watched by my family all the time, though I knew it was necessary. I wanted to escape their grasp a bit and enjoy an entire afternoon with my boyfriend. I wanted…

I wanted to try new things with him and take a step further in our relationship. And I was sure I wasn't the only one. I had a feeling that tomorrow would be fucking awesome.

«-»

I hated lectures. I hated them with every fiber of my being. I hated _Carlisle_'s lectures. If it was someone else, I could always say something to contradict them and be a stubborn ass, because I would still be able to prove my point and win the argument. But not with Carlisle. The man was technically two centuries and biologically six years older than me. Besides, I was an immature motherfucker and he…well, he was my _dad_. There was no way I would argue with him about my child's well being. He was the doctor, not me. So, I decided to behave decently and hear what he had to say: "Blah, blah, what were you thinking? Don't you know you have to take it easy? Blah, blah, no more running like that, blah, blah. Don't you dare do it again or you'll be grounded (…) I don't want you to go alone. Next time ask someone to go with you, blah, blah. Don't roll your eyes at me, young man!"

Ops. I couldn't help it.

_Fuck you and your big mouth, Alice._

I casted a quick glance at the old clock on Carlisle's office wall. Where the hell was Jacob? He was supposed to be here five minutes ago. Oh, God, I sounded like such an edgy little bitch. Which I was…

Sort of.

A bit.

Okay, okay! A lot! I know.

As if on cue, the doorbell rang. I swear I had to hold my breath to keep from exhaling in relief. Carlisle finally let me go and I ran downstairs right into the arms of my fuck-hot boyfriend who awaited me. I breathed in his pinewood scent and held him tighter, my edginess vanishing. Jacob kissed my temple and asked me to go dress something warmer. I pecked him on the lips before heading to my room. I put on my softest and warmest sweatshirt and dark wash jeans, along with a heavy raincoat that looked too big on me and slipped on my Timberland boots. I also wrapped a wool scarf around my neck and put on a bespoke beanie and gloves. It was freezing outside and I could tell Jacob wanted to go hiking. I couldn't figure out how I knew that. I just did.

Jesus, I was such a freak.

"Ready?" Jacob asked once I was downstairs again. I took his hand and nodded, smiling. He stared at me with tender and dazed eyes before cupping my face with his large hands and leaning down to kiss me firmly. "You're so fucking cute," he breathed as we both pulled away and chuckled. I rolled my eyes, somewhat annoyed. He could call me handsome or hot, but cute? I hoped this was the last time he ever said something like that.

_As if I didn't think he looked fucking cute sometimes, too._

_God! _And I called him a hypocrite.

I didn't know where we were supposed to go so I let Jacob drive, under the condition of taking my car. As I watched the landscape become a mere blur, my thoughts drifted to the conversation I'd had with Carlisle. I was so fucking irresponsible. What the hell was I thinking when I decided to go for a run yesterday? Thankfully, nothing had happened, but it could have. I had a baby inside me; an innocent human being that needed me to be careful because he was completely dependent on me. I kept forgetting that the ones I loved were expecting something from me. More maturity. More responsibility. It wasn't my fault that I was pregnant but…I loved my child. I wanted to be a dad. I was biologically seventeen years old and I wanted to be a dad. But was I ready? Would I be a good father? I still wanted to do a lot of things. I was a dreamer. And very fucking stupid. The question was: Was I able to handle this? I wanted to believe I was, but lately I've been showing signs that I wasn't.

It was time to grow up.

"What's on your mind, ex-leech?" Jacob interrupted my thoughts. I blinked and turned to look at him, smiling weakly. I guess I should tell him. I knew how upset he got when I lied to him and I didn't want another fight. I vowed to myself I wouldn't fuck up again. I sighed heavily.

"I…was thinking about…the future," I confessed. Jacob gave me a puzzled look. "My future. Our future. My child's future. I have doubts. And I have fears. Everyone does. I know that, but…Do you think I'll be a good dad?"

Jacob raised his eyebrows, surprised, before furrowing them.

"What kind of question is that?" he asked rhetorically. He obviously thought I was being silly. He trusted me more than I trusted myself. So, yeah, I realized all these questions were pointless. I could be better. I shouldn't be acting like a pregnant teenage girl who's afraid of telling her parents she got knocked up because she'd been stupid and irresponsible and who asks herself every damn day "What am I going to do?" and "What if I had done what was right?". I didn't have a plan. Not yet. But Jacob was right. I would be a good dad. Shit, I would be a _great _dad. Not only because I wanted to, but because I had to. I loved my little angel and I was ready to do anything for him.

Problem fuckin' solved.

Why did I keep making things complicated? Thank God I had Jacob. He made everything easier.

"Thank you," I smiled at him. His hand reached out to hold mine as the corners of his lips lifted slightly. I intertwined my fingers with his and immediately relaxed. This was why I loved him. Bella was a sweet and interesting girl, but she had nothing on Jake. He was the one who made me happy.

The rest of the ride was silent and I found myself bouncing my leg up and down, impatient. I couldn't wait to see the place Jacob had mentioned when we talked on the phone yesterday. Finally, he stopped the car and we both hopped out. We'd reached a deserted wide trail which had come to an end, too. I figured this wasn't the place Jacob wanted to show me, which meant we had to go into the woods and walk.

"Hey, can you take this?" Jacob asked as he handed me a backpack.

"Sure," I said, taking it and slipping my arms through the black straps. Jacob was wearing one as well. I was thankful that mine didn't weigh much. I didn't know how far it was, but I had a feeling it would take us a while to get there.

Jacob took my hand and led the way through the dense woods. We talked about random things as we walked, discovering a little more about each other. We could live together for years and we would still have something to tell, something to find out about each other. The conversation became somehow intimate. Jacob told me about his feelings as I listened carefully. He talked about his mom and how close they were. I squeezed his hand gently and comfortingly, knowing this was a sore subject for him. His voice was thick and quiet as he spoke and tried to hold back tears at the same time.

"It's okay to cry, Jake."

He stopped to stare at me with wide and watery eyes. I stopped, too, and reached out to touch his cheek tenderly. I wanted him to let it out. It was my duty as his boyfriend to comfort him when he needed, as he had done so many times with me. I had no idea if he let it out when he was alone, but I wanted him to do it in front of me. I wanted him to know that he could trust me, that I loved him just as much as he loved me, that this wasn't a one-sided relationship. I wanted him to know I cared about him. A lot. And I wanted him to feel…cherished and treasured. He deserved it.

Finally, he let the tears fall. They left shiny wet trails on his dark skin as they descended. Fat and translucent, they made his beautiful eyes literally look darker and his gorgeous face seem vulnerable. I was amazed by his beauty that resembled a sad angel's in that moment. I stroked his cheek soothingly and used my free hand to rub his arm. He relaxed into my touch, his eyelids fluttering closed. I closed the space between us, wrapping my arms around his waist. He let his head fall on my shoulder and I turned my head to kiss his neck and whisper in his ear:

"Don't ever allow someone to say you're weak. Break the douche's nose. Because you're not. You're one of the strongest people I know," I hugged him tighter. "You're beautiful, do you hear me? Fucking beautiful. And I love you. I love you so much."

I felt him nod slowly and inhale deeply. His right hand rested on the small of my back while the other was placed on my hip.

I felt he needed to hear those words, because they were entirely true. I knew Jacob's life wasn't easy, despite what some people might think. I knew that losing a parent was hard, especially when you had no one to replace them. I'd craved the presence of a mother figure when it was just me and Carlisle. Jacob had no mother, his sisters rarely visited and his father was in a wheelchair, which meant he had to take care of him. As if that wasn't enough, he phased into a wolf whenever he got very angry (something he'd never asked for). So, yes, his life was difficult. I couldn't bring his mother back. I couldn't make his father walk again. I couldn't force his sisters to visit more often. But I could be there for him and give him hope. I could give him the comfort he needed.

I held him for a few minutes, as his hot tears tickled the skin on my neck. When they finally stopped, he pulled away slowly and smiled at me weakly before leaning down to kiss me.

"Come on." His voice was raspy and low. We started walking again, no more words exchanged. I knew he didn't want to talk, but I could see he wasn't enjoying the suffocating silence either, so I decided to babble. I knew he _loved_ to hear me babble. I prattled about random things, noticing the way Jacob's eyes lit up every time I said something amusing. I got him to chuckle at my ridiculousness after a while and before we knew it we were back to our happy mood. I kept rambling:

"I'd really like to visit London sometime. Did you know Carlisle was born there? No? Oh, now you know. I'm sure you've noticed his accent. I'd love to take you there. It's a very interesting city. But do you know where we _should _go? My hometown. I really miss Chicago."

I finished my jabber with a loud yelp, as I tripped over a rock. I put my hands in front of me to prop the fall, not expecting Jacob to catch me and scoop me up in his arms. I had to admit it was quite impressing, how fast he did it, but I couldn't help but huff, exasperated.

"You just _love_ to do that, don't you?" I questioned, annoyed. He laughed. He was pressing the backpack against my back and it certainly didn't feel comfortable so I told him to place his arm under it. "That's better," I said, crossing my arms over my chest. I knew shape-shifters were strong and Jacob was one of the strongest of the pack, if not the strongest, but I still couldn't quite grasp the fact that he could carry me as a human male carried a thin toddler. "Don't your arms hurt?" I asked after a while. Jacob snorted.

"Yeah, Ed. You're _so _heavy," he answered sarcastically. "How much do you weigh anyway? A hundred and fifty-four pounds?"

"One hundred and sixty-one, actually," I scowled. He chuckled.

"My bad, man."

I scoffed, although I wasn't mad. I was actually smiling.

"Show off."

"Okay, close your eyes now," he said. I indulged him, feeling somewhat ridiculous. I guess I was about to see the place Jacob had talked about. I felt my stomach knot in anticipation as we neared it. I could hear the distant sound of water rushing. I didn't think we were near a beach; there was no sound of waves. Maybe a river? Yes, it sounded like the motion of a river's water. Calm and quiet…Wait a minute. No. It wasn't that quiet. It sounded like water…falling. A waterfall? – You can open your eyes now.

As soon as I did, I gasped.

"Put me down, please."

Once I was back on my feet, I took a step forward, mesmerized. This place was beautiful. Not like the meadow. Not like La Push. It was much smaller but at the same time so much bigger. The first thing I noticed was the big tree on my right. A fir. Tall and green, it stood there, alone, as ivy climbed its trunk. In front of me, there was a waterfall. The water fell between two huge rocks in a thick white blur that made its way to a small pond surrounded by multiform stones. The water of the pond reflected the green moss that covered the rocks and stones, leaving me awestruck by its color. I was assaulted by the smell of wet turf and looked down, noticing that the ground was roofed by grass, ivy, weeds and clovers. Like the rest of Forks, this place was extremely _green_, but the difference was: this was…unbelievably breathtaking. There was so much we could do here. I wanted to swim in that pond. I wanted to lay down here with Jacob as we laughed and kissed. I wanted to decorate that fir with Christmas adornments. This would be _our _place, my and Jacob's secret place, where we could be together, all alone.

I felt Jacob's arms wrap around my waist and I leaned against him, closer to his warmth.

"What do you think?" he asked against the skin on my jaw.

"It's beautiful," I smiled and turned around to face him. "Thank you for bringing me here."

"I know you've already forgiven me, but I just…I wanted to show you how sorry I really am. When I found this place, I thought that I should bring you here to make it up to you."

"Jacob," I sighed. He shouldn't feel guilty. I'd already forgiven him. "There was no need. But once again, thank you. And I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have lied to you."

He grinned, showing his amazingly white and perfect teeth.

"Guess what?"

"What?"

"I brought chips!"

«-»

I didn't think it was possible, but _guess what? _It was. I fell even more in love with this guy.

M&M's.

Tuc's.

And holy shit: _Pringles!_

He didn't simply bring chips. He brought _my favorite_ chips, the best crackers in the world and the most delicious chocolate candies I'd ever eaten. He also brought a blanket where we both sat on as we ate, talked and listened to the songs my cell phone was playing. We were in our own bubble. We were just being…us. And I loved every minute of it.

But I wanted more.

I sat on Jacob's lap, feeling nervous all of a sudden. I didn't quite know what I was supposed to do, but I wanted to give it a try. But where should I start? I didn't want this to be a simple make-out session. Maybe I should start by pleasuring him. By touching him. I snaked my arms around his torso and brought my mouth to his neck, kissing it gently. Jacob's hands rested on my back as I licked and bit his skin lightly. I turned off the music without stopping what I was doing as I felt Jacob's arousal.

_Gotcha!_

My hand travelled down until it found the zipper of his denim shorts. I slowly pushed it down and Jacob's erection sprang free.

"Edward," he rasped. "What're you doing?"

"Hush. I need to do this."

My own cock strained against the fabric of my jeans, but I decided to ignore it and tend to Jacob's needs first. My mouth moved to his jaw, then his chin and finally, his lips. Our breathing was labored as desire and arousal consumed us. I pulled away slightly, giving us both some space so I could touch him properly without hurting him. I took a moment to admire his cock, excited. Before I started thinking of him in the way only a lover could, I'd never thought I'd look at someone else's dick and think it was beautiful. But here I was, hot and horny, staring at my boyfriend's penis like it was the Eighth Wonder of the fucking World. Tan, thick, long and _gorgeous_, it stood erect and proud, begging me to touch it. Without a second thought, I enveloped Jacob's cock in my hand, hard as steel, but covered in smooth skin. Slowly and somewhat timidly, I started to pump him. I imagined I was doing it to myself. I stroked him slowly and gently, watching his striking face as he parted his lips and his eyelids fluttered closed. His chest heaved up and down and I decided to speed up the pace, just like I'd do to myself. I liked it hard and fast. _Who didn't?_

"Is this okay?" I asked him shyly, though I knew the answer. Jacob gasped and looked down at me with half-lidded eyes before replying.

"Yes," he hissed. "God, yes!"

Pleased with his reaction, I pumped him harder and faster until I finally saw _little Jake _- ah, little, that's funny - dripping with pre-cum. My own hard-on got a little painful and my jeans only made it worse, but I'd take care of it later. I was taking care of my boyfriend now. Jacob's muscles went rigid and his breathing got hastier as his climax approached. His mouth opened but no sound came out and he shut his eyes tightly. And with a quick jerk of his hips, he came all over my hand.

And sweet Jesus, did he look beautiful when he came.

"Fuck," he panted. "That was amazing."

I couldn't help but smile.

Then I looked at my hand and my smile became a grimace.

"Uh…Jacob? You brought napkins, right?"

«-»

Days faded into weeks and the big day came sooner than we expected. Tonight the moon would reach its fullest form and my family would be on patrol. Only Rose and Em would stay behind since Carlisle refused to let me stay at home completely alone. I agreed under the condition of Jacob spending the night with me. If my siblings would be having some fun, why couldn't I do the same? Besides, I missed sleeping next to him. It was also a way of keeping the nightmares at bay.

The last few days were hell. Morning sickness followed me around like an annoying little bitch and I even fainted once. I felt much better now, thankfully, but I had missed the opportunity of spending some time with Jake in our favorite place. His school year had already started and he, like promised, attended all of his classes. He came to our house afterwards and I helped him with his homework, only pausing to have a snack and steal a few kisses.

It was already seven o'clock. Jacob said he would be here at nine, so I only had two hours. Two hours to behave like a fucking thirteen-year-old girl.

I'd already seen him without a shirt. I'd seen his chest, his abs. I'd seen _his cock._ Yes, he'd seen me naked, too, but at the time none of us knew very well what we were feeling. I wanted him to see my body, my bare body. But first, I had to make sure I looked _presentable._

I stared at my reflection in the mirror, wondering if I should change something. I wasn't scrawny. I wasn't. My arms packed on a little muscle, actually, and my legs were firm and hard. My abs were long gone, replaced by a slightly swollen stomach. In reality, I thought my hips were a bit too wide for a guy, but I let it slide. I looked down at my feet and chuckled. They were big.

You know what they say about men with big feet.

I had a bit of chest hair and my legs were *a tad* hairy as well. Should I shave them? Honestly, I believed Jacob would rather touch smooth skin instead of hirsute human hide. The problem was: I'd never shaved my legs before. Should I use a razor blade? It couldn't be too difficult, right? It probably wasn't very different from the way I took care of my facial hair every morning. Was it?

Oh. Shit.

I couldn't even ask my sisters how to do it, because they didn't need to. Besides, they would tease me until I screamed at them to stop. Most of my friends were vampires who didn't need to shave. So, I'd have to ask a _human _friend. I'd have to ask Bella. Could this be any more embarrassing?

"Hello?" I heard her voice after the third ring.

"Uh…hey, it's me," I stuttered and ran my hand through my hair nervously. "I was wondering if you could help me with something."

"Of course. What is it?"

"Bella, do you…shave…your legs?" I asked, blushing furiously. I was humiliating myself, I knew that, but this was important and I knew Bella wouldn't make fun of me, no matter how uncomfortable I felt.

"Why do you want to know?" she sounded confused.

"You see, I want to shave my legs, because… " I sighed. What was the best way to explain this? I was talking with my ex-girlfriend, for God sake. I couldn't give her many details. "I think they're too hairy," I finished lamely.

"Oh," she said. "Okay. I normally use _Veet…_" _she used what?_ " …but I don't know if you have that at home. Do you have wax?"

_No way. I heard that shit hurts like hell._

"Bella, what's the _easiest _way? The one which doesn't require weird hair removal products."

"Just use a razor blade, okay? But wash your legs first and keep them covered in foam while you shave them so you don't hurt yourself. You're a boy, so I think you have to do it more than once."

"Thank you so much, Bella. It was nice to talk to you. Bye," I hung up quickly. Yes, it was a bit rude, but I didn't have much time.

I sat on the edge of the bathtub and used a sponge and a bar of soap to wash my legs, doing as she had said. And she was fucking right. I had to shave them twice so I removed all the hair on my legs and I took a long-ass time. By the time I was finished, my arm ached and I still had to clean the tub.

Women were masochists.

And apparently, I was a masochist, too.

After cleaning the bath, I took a quick shower, using an apple shampoo to wash my hair since Jacob was so fond of its smell. I put on a graphic T-shirt and a crimson red shirt over it and wore my skinny black jeans and grey Vans. Yeah, Alice would definitely approve.

I went downstairs and watched some TV while I waited for Jacob to arrive.

"Carlisle said you're to stay at home tonight," Rosalie stated with a confused expression as she sat down next to me. Emmett sat on my right, which meant I was squeezed between them two. _Great._

"I know," I replied.

"Then why do you look so sexy?"

"Rose!" Emmett rebuked.

"What? It's true!"

"Thanks," I chuckled. Em glared at me. "She thinks I'm sexy, Em," I taunted him. "What are you gonna do about it?"

"Well…" he stretched and placed his arm around my shoulders. _Uh-oh_. "First, I'm going to carry her over my shoulder to our room. Then, I'll take my clothes off. She'll immediately change her mind, but you know how I roll. I won't stop there."

I put my hands over my ears so I couldn't hear the rest. It didn't work so I started singing loudly, but he still didn't give up. He tickled my sides and I shrieked, dropping my hands involuntarily.

"I'm gonna fuck her like an animal!" he shouted, laughing.

"You _are _an animal. You're a pig," Rose giggled.

"Seriously, Emmett," I cackled. "You need to stop listening to Kings of Leon and get your own lines."

"Whatever," he shrugged. "So, why are you dressed like that?"

I looked down at my clothes and wondered what they were talking about. They were normal clothes. I didn't understand why they were making such a fuss over it. Okay, _maybe _I did look more well-dressed than usual since I wore sweatshirts all the time these days. The truth was: I wanted Jacob to look at me in_ that _way, too.

"Well, Jacob is coming and we're having dinner together…"

"I knew it," Rose cut me off. I glared at her but she just smiled smugly. "Wait a minute. I thought you didn't know how to cook."

"I don't. Jake is bringing pizza."

"I see," she eyed me pensively before throwing a quick glance at her husband. "Emmett. Room. Now."

"Yes, ma'am," he saluted her.

After they were both gone, I turned my attention to the TV and ran my hand through my hair, anxious for Jacob's arrival. Finally, the doorbell rang and I jumped, slightly startled. I ran to get the door.

"Hi," I grinned as I opened the door for him and he entered slowly. His eyes took in my appearance and widened slightly before they settled on my face.

"Hi," he breathed, smiling and closing the door behind him. He was wearing the Levis jeans I had bought for him (Alice helped me choose) and a tight black Yankees T-shirt. Well, damn, he looked pretty edible himself.

_Speaking about edible… _

"Pepperoni!"

«-»

My tongue battled with his as we savored each other's taste. My hands found his hair while his gripped my hips. We pulled away for a few seconds, breathless, before my lips attacked his mouth. He pushed away the empty pizza boxes and lay down on the couch, pulling me on top of him. My heart drummed inside my ribcage and my breathing came in short gasps that I was sure my siblings could hear, but I couldn't care less. I whispered his name against his scorching cheek and he hugged my waist tightly, burying his face in the crook of my neck. I moaned quietly when his teeth grazed my skin. His hand moved lower and he slipped it beneath my T-shirt.

That's when I remembered we were still in the living room, making out on the couch.

"Wait," I rasped. His hand stilled and he looked at me with concern. "Not here," I shook my head.

"Your room?"

I nodded and we both stood up quickly. I took his warm hand in mine and we climbed up the stairs taking two steps at a time. I pushed the door of my bedroom open and we stepped in. He turned us around and backed me up against it, causing it to close. I gripped the front of his shirt tightly while he took off his pants. Our movements were frenetic as we fumbled with our clothes, desperate to get them off. Our mouths connected again in a mixture of love and heat and our cocks strained against the fabric of our boxers. He took his time to take mine off, admiring my body, admiring me. I pushed his boxers down and he seemed to snap out of the daze he was in. He helped me with the task and finally, we were both naked. I stared at his perfect, muscular body. He was a Nature's gift, with strong rippling arms, hard abdominals and cinnamon skin.

"You're beautiful," he whispered, leaning down to kiss me. He pulled away and rested his forehead against mine. "You're so fucking beautiful."

I shivered at his words, my arousal growing. I knew what I wanted. I was tired of waiting. I'd changed my mind. I didn't feel like it was too soon anymore. I _needed _to do this. I needed to feel wanted by someone I loved. I felt like I belonged to someone else, in a sexual way, obviously. I didn't want to belong to _him_. Jacob was the one, the only one, but I wanted to be his in _every_ sense of the word. Because I knew I would feel so much better afterwards and our relationship would be even stronger. I knew we would both feel like we belonged to each other. I didn't care about the pain. Sex involved pain, especially between two men, but it also involved pleasure and in a relationship like ours, it would also involve love.

"Jacob," I murmured and took a deep breath. "I want you to make love to me."

Jacob's eyes widened in shock. I knew this would happen. He would think it was too soon, that I wasn't ready yet, but I didn't care. He _would _make love to me tonight. I knew he wanted to and I wouldn't let neither my fears nor his concern ruin this. How could I convince him that this was what I needed? I couldn't just say: "Hey, I want you to fuck me so I feel like I belong to you instead of your great-grandfather."

"Edward," his eyes bored into mine and his thumb stroked my cheek. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," I nodded furiously. _Please, don't say no. Please, don't say no._

"I don't want to hurt you. Are you sure about this? Would you like me to bottom instead?"

_Well, I wasn't expecting that. _I didn't know he had done his research, too, and I definitely didn't expect him to make that offer. It was really sweet of him to ask though, since I knew he wasn't really fond of the idea. I could see it in his eyes: he'd rather fuck than be fucked. It was his nature. It should be mine as well, I think. However, it wasn't and let's be honest – it didn't look right. I couldn't imagine myself fucking him. He took the lead in our relationship. While he was almost supernaturally strong, I was relatively weak and breakable. Besides, I needed him to claim me, not the other way around.

"No," I shook my head. "Please, Jacob. I need this. We need this."

"We need-"

"Lube," I finished for him. "And condoms. I know. I've made my research. They're inside the top drawer of my bedside table."

I took his hand and he followed me as I walked towards my king-sized bed. I turned around and looked up at him, bringing up my hand to caress his chest. I rubbed his nipple gently and he shuddered beneath my touch, mumbling a "Jesus". I sat on the edge of the mattress and slowly crawled backwards before laying down. Jacob edged his body until he was on top of me, his lips parted as he breathed heavily. I grabbed his shaft gently and started to stroke him, hoping it would stimulate him more and keep his nervousness at bay. He groaned softly. I stopped once I could feel his arousal pressing against my stomach and pointed to the wooden bedside table with my index finger. He reached out to open the top drawer, grabbing the bottle of lube and a condom. I took the condom from him and ripped the packet with my teeth. Jacob's eyes followed my actions and grew darker, hungrier. I rolled the condom down to the base of his cock.

"You know what you have to do, right?" I asked breathlessly. Jacob nodded and leaned down to kiss me before coating his fingers with lube.

Once he applied enough lube (a bit too much, in my opinion), he slid his hand between my legs and I opened them eagerly. No flashbacks, no fear, no panic. Just pure love and raw need. He caressed my entrance lovingly and, slowly, ever so slowly, he pushed his finger inside me. I gasped at the sensation. It didn't hurt, it was just a bit uncomfortable at first, but then…then it felt fucking _good._ In and out, his finger moved, making me beg for more. Jacob added another finger. This time it took me a few seconds to adjust but soon I was jerking my hips to meet his hand. He buried his face in the crook of my neck, like he had done in the living room, and sucked my skin softly.

"Jacob," I moaned softly and gripped his forearm. He pushed the third finger inside me. I winced slightly. This time it hurt a bit but the slight pain turned into pleasure in a matter of seconds. I panted and gripped the bed sheets roughly. "I need you…inside me, please," I whimpered lowly. Jacob raised his head to look at me, asking me with his beautiful eyes if I was sure. "Yes," I hissed. Couldn't he see I was ready to be his?

I watched him coat himself, winded and already sweating a bit. This was it. This was my first time. It was Jake's first time, too, and we would experience it together. I'd waited for this moment for years, decades. I'd waited so long for the moment I would finally lose my virtue to someone I loved deeply and who loved me back just as much.

I wrapped my legs around his waist and he lifted my behind slightly.

"I love you," he said quietly. And then, he filled me up. That's exactly what it felt like. It was painful, but I'd gone through worse. I could handle this. I concentrated on the blissful sensations my body was experiencing, trying to ignore my rear's protests. Jacob's upper body was pressing against mine, engulfing me in warmth. I felt filled, complete. Jacob's cock inside me made me feel more alive than I had ever felt. The pain was quickly becoming a dull ache. I wanted more. And I wanted it now.

"Move," I pleaded. He moved out completely and I immediately felt empty, but thankfully he quickly thrust back.

Our bodies worked in a perfect rhythm, connected in a joyful heat and indescribable passion. Our skins glistened with sweat and our gasps of pleasure echoed in the room. My hands rested on his back, my heart beat at the same tempo his did. We kissed, we grunted, we wheezed. At a certain point, my breaths became dry sobs. Happy sobs. He suddenly hit a spot inside me and my back arched off the bed. My prostate. He had hit my prostate. I'd never imagined it would feel like this. It was _heaven. _I actually saw stars.

"Faster," I whimpered as he kept hitting that spot.

"You're so tight," he groaned, his half-lidded brown eyes never leaving mine. Watching his face made my stomach recoil and my muscles harden. I wasn't going to last.

"I'm close," I told him. "Jacob, I'm gonna cum."

"Me, too," he grunted. "Oh, God! Edward…"

"Kiss me," I whispered. He complied.

My vision exploded. All my body exploded. It was the best thing I'd ever felt. Hot and fiery, ecstasy ran through my veins, taking me to another world. I barely heard myself crying out as my orgasm took hold of me. My legs shook and I shuddered violently as my back arched. Warm spurts of cum were shot, covering our stomachs with the sticky fluid. I didn't know how long it lasted but I was drained as I woke up to reality.

Jacob lay on top of me, breathing heavily. I caressed his hair with a tired hand and sighed contently.

And despite my exhaustion, I'd never felt better.

Because now I was his. I was completely his. No one else's.

_I'm yours, Jacob. Only yours._

And he was mine.


	15. A notebook

JPOV

I woke up to the peaceful sound of birds chiming and deep breathing. My eyes opened somewhat reluctantly and I squinted as rays of sun hit them. It took me a few seconds to adjust to the light, but once I did I smiled contentedly. Edward lay on his side, facing me, gripping the sheets that covered him with his slender fingers. Watching him sleep made my mind drift to what had occurred last night. I had yet to grasp the fact that I wasn't a virgin anymore. I'd always thought my first time would be embarrassing, to say the least. But it wasn't. Last night had been the best night in my entire life. I never felt as good as I did in the exact moment I exploded inside my boyfriend's tight ass. I kid you not: that boy had a _really_ tight ass. I was surprised he hadn't cried out when I entered him. My cock was big. I couldn't come up with any other word to describe it. I knew he'd felt pain, but he had barely shown it.I traced his bottom lip with my thumb and smiled.

_My beautiful, strong boy._

I was so proud of him. When he had asked me to make love to him, I had been shocked, to say the least. He was getting better – everyone could see that – but, at first, I hadn't believed it was enough to be ready for this. But then I saw it in his eyes, that burning desire. And when I was finally pounding into him, those green orbs had shined with nothing but love, pleasure, and happiness. I vowed to myself in that moment that I would never call him a coward again. He sometimes acted gutlessly, but then again…who was I to talk? I wasn't much better. Yesterday he'd proven just how brave he actually was; braver than I could ever be. I cursed myself for not seeing it earlier, his strength, and how much it meant in our relationship.

So much had happened last night. Even when he had taken off his clothes, I hadn't expected things to go the way they did. I was truly grateful we both had had the opportunity to relieve our sexual tension. Just seeing his nude body had been enough to make me want to fuck his brains out. Edward's body didn't resemble a Greek God's or a male model's, but it was beautiful in its own way. His form was well-drawn, lean and covered in soft vanilla skin. His cock was a bit longer than mine, but not as thick. And his ass…His ass was fan-fucking-tastic.

Edward suddenly stirred, but did not wake up. He moved closer to me, closing the space between us. Having his body pressed against mine made something down there wake up as well.

These reactions of mine were no surprise to me. After that day in our favorite place, where Edward had given me a hand job (which had been amazingly mind-blowing), I started wondering about my sexuality. Well, nothing better than a porn video to confirm my suspicions, right? I liked men, indeed. Women turned me on, too, but not as much as some of the guys I saw in that video. Some of them were too big or too tan for my taste while others were like Edward – pale and slim. I also found some information about gay sex – a subject I hadn't thought about until that moment – and learnt how it should be done. Preparation and lube were essential in order not to hurt my Edward.

I heard a snicker and looked down, chuckling at the scene that greeted me. Edward was laughing in his sleep. His shoulders shook lightly and a smile graced his lips as his hands played with the hem of the sheets.

"_So fucking adorable_," I murmured as I ruffled his hair gently and he stopped laughing. I watched as his eyelids fluttered open, revealing vibrant green eyes that stared at me lazily. He buried his face in the crook of my neck and...purred?_ Holy shit, he did purr? "_What was that?" I cackled.

"Piss off," he grumbled. I responded by chortling.

"Oh my, what has your British daddy taught you, kiddo?"

"For your information," he started, raising his head to look at me, fully awake now. "Carlisle does not swear. In fact, he normally scolds us when we do so. And my other daddy, God rest his soul, was American."

"I'm glad to know." I grinned. I loved to learn these bits of information about Edward and his biological family. I'd never liked History very much, but I'd gladly pay attention in school if it meant knowing a lot more about how he'd lived when he was just an ordinary human.

I was taken out of my thoughts when I felt Edward's tongue licking my neck. He had no idea how good that shit felt. He did it a lot, for some reason, and he also liked to bite me. Well, I guess some things never change, right?

I snaked my arm around his waist, my hand moving up and down, rubbing his silky skin. I was already hard as a rock and I could feel Edward's erection pressing against my stomach as well. Feeling brave all of a sudden, I took his cock in my free hand. He gasped. Slowly, tentatively, I started to pump him, pleased with his reaction. His hot breath tickled the skin on my shoulder, encouraging me to move faster. I realized now that it wasn't as difficult as I first thought it would be. In fact, pleasuring Edward by touching his cock was beyond amazing. It came naturally, the same way I would pleasure myself. His sounds of approval were hotter than anything I'd ever heard before and the way he grasped my shoulders and jerked his hips to meet my hand was one of the most sensual things I'd ever witnessed.

"Jacob," he whispered. "God…"

I peppered his face with light kisses and stopped once my lips found his. Our tongues collided ineptly and I smiled against Edward's mouth. I opened my eyes as I picked up the pace to see his face contorting into an expression of delight as his unfocused emerald eyes gazed at me lovingly before his cum shot between us, wetting our stomachs and the sheets below and above us. I had this theory that everyone seemed good-looking when they came, but Edward…his beauty was angelic, surreal even, when he came.

"We both need to shower."

"I know." He nodded and then yawned. "You go first. I'll just stay here…" he mumbled as his eyes closed again. I kissed his temple lightly and chuckled.

Once I closed the bathroom door behind me, my eyes widened. I'd guessed this part of the house would be super classy, but…why were there so many shampoos? I shook my head and laughed quietly. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and gaped at the hickey on my neck. Great. Now I'd have to mark Edward, too. I wouldn't go through this embarrassment alone. I took a quick shower, washing away the remains of our previous activity. I rinsed my hair with a chocolate scented shampoo I found between the several bathing products that adorned the huge bathtub on the opposite side of the room. I stepped outside the shower and dried off, wrapping a towel around my hips. I walked silently towards Edward's bed, planning on taking him by surprise. He was lying on his stomach, completely stretched out. Once I was close enough to him, I immediately commenced providing his pale neck with all of the loving attention I could summon, which was VAST and before Edward had any suspicions of my devious motives, I carried out my plan and SUCKED HARD.

"Jacooob…" he whined, tittering slightly. He raised his hand to tap my head. "Stop."

"Revenge is sweet," I growled as I lifted my mouth from his neck. His emerald eyes stared at me dreamily. I leaned down and kissed him, pulling the sheets that covered him and wrapping my arm around his waist. "Go take a shower, ex-leech. You stink," I complained playfully.

"Now that you said that…" he started, frowning. "You know what? I won't. I'll stay here and you'll have to deal with my awful smell all day."

"Go take a shower," I ordered through gritted teeth.

"Make me." He shrugged. _You asked for it._

"Alright," I said. I quickly picked him up in my arms and started walking backwards. I expected him to struggle against my grasp, but instead, he hugged my shoulders and snaked his legs around my hips. I certainly didn't expect him to move his foot so it rubbed against my towel and make it fall. I was already hard. Being so close to him without clothes, made my dick act on its own.

Who am I kidding here? It always acted on its own. As did Edward's.

I understood then his plans. I wished I could indulge him, but I'd already cleaned up and I had things to do. I still had to talk to Carlisle and find out what had happened yesterday and I had something to tell him as well. Edward and I were living in our own bubble. Although we were not oblivious to the problems we had yet to solve, we were ignoring them. We had the right to do so and enjoy some time together away from it all, but not for too long. If we wanted to get this over with for once and for all and live a happy life afterwards, we had to get to work.

I knelt down and carefully placed him on the floor, knowing this wasn't the best way to let him go. Edward frowned once he realized what I was doing, but he nodded without saying a word. He stood up and kissed my chest, looking up through his eyelashes. Goddammit, he was beautiful.

I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. He was teasing me, the dipshit. I leaned down and whispered in his ear "Go".

He sighed heavily and pecked my lips before turning around and walking towards the bathroom. I watched him go, feeling somewhat guilty. He would understand; I knew he would. Once he closed the door, I picked up the towel and cleaned the vestiges of cum on my stomach that Edward had left when he touched me. I put on the clothes I had worn yesterday and left the room. The too sweet scent I had somehow gotten used to assaulted my nostrils as I climbed down the stairs. The smell wasn't as bothersome as it was before and I didn't feel the need to scrunch up my nose, but I could still sense the presence of a cold one just as easily.

I was hungry as hell, but I figured I could eat something later. This needed to be taken care of now.

The Cullen's were all reunited in the living room and every single one looked at me as I walked towards them and took my seat next to Emmett. Some of the stares were slightly angry while others were amused. Only Esme's expression seemed warm and accepting. I couldn't even face Carlisle. They obviously knew what we had been doing. Too bad they were only perceptive when it was inconvenient for us, I thought.

"So," I started. "How did it go?"

They seemed to finally focus on the serious matter at hand. I was curious, but I was also nervous. Just by looking at their faces, I could see it hadn't gone as good as they'd hoped. Jasper was the first to speak:

"There were five of them. We only managed to kill one. The others are still out there. They're just as powerful as we thought." He sensed my confusion as I wondered why they hadn't killed the other ones and answered my unasked question. "The other three stepped into your territory. Your friends were supposed to be on patrol. That's what you told us, Jacob."

"And I told you the truth. Sam sent me a text message yesterday, after…" I paused, not sure of what I should tell them. "After Edward fell asleep." I settled for that bit of information. "He said they found a vampire and followed him all the way to the Canadian border. They killed him."

"And when they came back? Didn't they sense their scent?"

"Sam didn't say anything about that, so I guess they didn't."

"It took us a long-ass time to catch those werewolves and destroy them," Emmett spoke up. Carlisle threw him a warning glance, probably disappointed with his son's manners. However, Emmett ignored it. "It was almost six o'clock in the morning when we came back. It's always difficult to do this without Edward. He is, I mean, he _was_ the fastest. And his gift would have helped us find them more quickly."

"Sam came back at half past three, I think," I said.

"That's why he didn't sense anything," Jasper concluded.

"This damn treaty is only complicating things," Alice sighed, visibly annoyed. "I don't even know why we still stick to it. It has already been broken."

"The Elders don't know that, Pixie," I informed. "Only my dad knows what has happened to Edward. He can't make or enforce such a big decision alone, though."

"Maybe we could explain the situation to them," Esme tried. "Not what happened to Edward, of course. What I mean is: we could try to convince them that we're all in danger, your tribe included, Jacob. It would be easier for all of us if we could step into your territory. We promise not to hunt there. In fact, we promise to only go there when extremely necessary. Is that okay for you?" she asked her family. They all nodded and then looked at me.

"I'll see what I can do." I finally gave in. It would be easy to convince my dad but I didn't know how the rest of the council would react. I could always try, though.

"Thank you." She smiled at me. I nodded in response.

"I will also invite Sam to come with me and follow the scent those werewolves left in La Push. Maybe we'll find something."

"We're truly grateful, Jacob," Esme said and stood up. "You're probably hungry. Edward must be coming down soon and he needs to feed that little baby inside him. I'll go and cook something for you two. Ops, you three," she chuckled lightly.

"Thanks," I beamed. I fucking loved Esme's food.

"No problem, dear."

With that, she walked away. I turned and faced the others. I needed to tell them something as well.

"I found something," I let them know. They eyed me confusedly. "About Ephraim. I mean…I think it is, but I'm not sure."

"What?" Rosalie immediately inquired. "What did you find?"

"A notebook," I answered as I remembered what I had come across yesterday evening. It was a small red notebook. I had found it in my room, inside one of the drawers of my wardrobe. I had been searching for something to wear when I saw it.

"Did you open it?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes," I replied. "But I couldn't read its content. It was in French."

"I know how to speak French," Alice sang. The others raised their brows at her. She rolled her honey-colored eyes. "Well, we all do."

_Why am I not surprised?_

Alice's eyes suddenly became distant and Jasper was the first to sit by her side and hold her hand. Emmett threw me a worried glance and I furrowed my eyebrows in response. As the pixie finally woke up to reality, Carlisle knelt in front of her.

"Alice, what did you see?" he asked. She gasped and raised her head to address me.

"The notebook…" she said quietly. "The notebook you're talking about. It's red, isn't it?" I nodded. "Someone will take it."

"What?" My eyes widened, for I was incredulous.

"A man. A human man," she explained. "He's going to break your bedroom's window and step into your house."

The Cullens' expressions mirrored my own. They all seemed shocked and confused. Why would an ordinary human steal something from me? I had to stop this man, whoever he was, from entering my house. My dad wasn't at home and that was a bonus. The last thing I wanted right now was for him to get hurt.

"How much time do I have?" I questioned urgently.

"Damnit!" she cursed. "The future disappeared. I can't see anything else."

"We have to go now!" Rosalie exclaimed. I cleared my throat and she huffed. "Fine. _You_ have to go now."

"I saw him going to Sea-Tac Airport before you decided to stop him."

"Alright." Carlisle stood up. "Alice and Rosalie, you go to Seattle. Jasper and Emmett, go with Jacob. Once he crosses the treaty line, you stop and stay there. If anything happens, you know what you have to do. Esme and I will stay at home and keep Edward protected."

«-»

The boys and I raced towards the treaty line. Rosalie and Alice had taken the yellow Porsche I admired so much and were on their way to Seattle. Carlisle and Esme had stayed with Edward. I certainly didn't expect this day to go like this. I'd come to the realization that my relationship with Edward had developed…a lot. Now, all of a sudden, there was a man planning to break into my house and I had to leave the good life for a while in order to stop the motherfucker. I was sure I didn't look very happy.

Once I caught the douche, whoever he was, I'd teach him a lesson. A very memorable lesson.

I crossed the border, leaving Jasper and Emmett behind. The trees blurred past me, reminding me of how fast I actually was. I fucking loved running in my wolf form. Riding a bike or driving a speedy car was nowhere nearly as much fun as this.

As I ran towards my house, I heard the distinct sound of glass breaking. I cursed myself for being so slow, but then I remembered I was anything but and ran faster. I still had the chance to get there before the guy left. I wondered how in the hell he would know where the damn notebook was. This was all so confusing. Everything was fucking confusing, but deep inside, I had a feeling this was all connected. Ephraim, the Children of the Moon, the notebook. It was hard to believe this was happening just because, but I couldn't dwell on the subject now. I had no time for contemplating theories.

I finally reached my backyard but not before I heard the terrifying sound of tires screeching and a powerful engine working. And then, a car speeding up. I paid no mind to the broken window and decided to follow the sliver Jaguar that was almost out of my sight. I trusted my hearing and penetrated the woods, running as fast as I could. If I could, I would have followed right behind the car, but I couldn't risk being seen.

I figured this wasn't necessary since he was headed to Sea-Tac and Rosalie and Alice would get there first. Unless he suddenly changed his mind and decided to head to some other place, which would cause things to get even more complicated. Funny how tracking a human seemed more difficult than killing a vampire right now. The man was driving full speed and, although my velocity was incredible, I couldn't beat the potent Jaguar. On his way to Seattle, he'd have to deal with the traffic and slow down eventually, but that also meant I couldn't go after him as I didn't wish to be seen and jeopardize the supernatural world. This was pointless. I could only hope Alice took hold of him once he reached his destination. Meantime, I'd have to head back to the treaty line and inform the boys of what had occurred. Jasper would know what to do.

I could smell them from afar, which meant nothing had happened and they were still waiting. As I approached the treaty line, I felt a wave of calmness wash over me and my irritation disappeared until I was finally able to phase into my human form. All this shit made me forget about minor details. Consequently, I was now naked in front of my boyfriend's siblings. Although I didn't feel annoyed (thanks to Jasper's ability), I sighed. I came up to them and fidgeted slightly, somewhat embarrassed. They simply smirked at me without looking at my lower body. I explained to them what had happened and their faces quickly became serious as they listened attentively. Emmett was the first to speak once I finished:

"So what do we do now?"

"We go home and wait for them," Jasper said. "I'll call Alice and tell her to bring the guy with her. This man may have answers we seek."

I transformed back into my wolf and ran with them in the direction of their house. Luckily, La Push was pretty quiet today. I figured my mates were still sleeping and I was thankful for that. I'd have to answer a lot of questions if any of them were around or phased. I didn't have the patience for that and I didn't have time either. I just wanted to be back in the arms of my boyfriend and eat a decent breakfast. I was fucking starving.

Surprisingly, I didn't long to enjoy some anti-vampire action as strongly as I did before. Before Edward, I mean. I was rather tired of this abnormal life. Yes, running was cool and fun, but this werewolf life (I guess I could call it that) wasn't exactly what I wanted. I never wanted to be a shape-shifter but, in time, I'd gotten used to it. Now, though, I simply yearned for a normal life.

Shit. Was I becoming…more mature? Was that even a good thing?

I figured it was, since Edward wanted the same thing and there was a baby on the way. I just hope someday our dream would come true.

…_Let's just pretend I didn't sound like a Disney princess right now, okay? Thank you very much._

Edward was sitting on the front steps when we arrived, already dressed up. I was still in my wolf form and felt a bit embarrassed. I heard Jasper's chuckle and I suppressed a growl now that I was the one who controlled my emotions. Emmett said he would get some clothes for me, his dimples making an appearance as he smirked, and was gone in a flash. His brother followed him. Edward stood up, a relieved and serene expression on his face as he came up to me. He looked even smaller now, as my wolf figure was beyond tall, huge was even an understatement. His hand reached out to caress my fur in a loving way, the same way he treated me in my human form and not like I was some dog.

"Would you rather go into the woods so you have more privacy?" he asked softly. He didn't wait for an answer and started to walk. I walked right beside him and his hand never left my pelage, reminding me that he would always be with me, human or not. And that's how fucking amazing he was. That's how we worked, giving and taking, playing and laughing, sharing and loving. Despite our fights, our relationship was strong and, in my opinion, it was how every relationship should be. We weren't just lovers; we were best friends, too.

In a matter of seconds, I was back to my six feet seven, almost hairless figure. Edward watched me with wide eyes and took me in slowly, gulping audibly as his gaze settled on my private parts. I chuckled at his expression and took a step forward, closing the space between us. I leaned down to kiss his lips gently, pulling away rather reluctantly as I sensed a vampire's presence a few yards away. The clothes I was supposed to wear hit my chest and fell to the ground. Judging by their size, I could tell they were Emmett's. I slipped on a pair of boxers first and then put on the other clothes.

Edward took my hand once I was fully dressed and we moved ahead, not a single word exchanged between us. I wondered why he was so quiet and calm, as he was usually talkative when he was with me. I supposed Carlisle had told him why we had to leave momentarily. Maybe he was just thinking about what this could mean and how important that notebook could be. Or perhaps he was thinking about…last night.

I shook my head in an attempt to clear my thoughts. If I started reflecting about that, I would soon get horny as hell and this wasn't the time for that.

He led the way to the kitchen where a huge plate with eggs and bacon awaited me. I ate quickly, my hunger making itself visible. Edward watched me silently, smiling at my manners. Yes, _smiling_. I swear to God that boy finds the weirdest things endearing.

After I was finished with breakfast we headed to the living room and sat next to each other on the couch. Carlisle sat on the opposite sofa, and Jasper and Emmett stood next to Esme who eyed us all with concern. You could cut the tension in the room with a knife.

"The guy is oblivious," Jasper spoke. "Alice called. She said he's just a normal human."

"Yet, he broke into Jacob's house and stole the notebook," Edward retorted. "He may not know a thing about vampires and werewolves, but he's more than just a normal human."

"This is just confusing the hell out of us," I mumbled.

"Perhaps he's under orders," Emmett mused. We all turned to him with quirked eyebrows.

"He's not as stupid as he looks," Ed snickered. His brother glared at him and he raised his hands in surrender.

"It's possible," Jasper said.

"It's probable," Emmett corrected.

"We must wait. We all need to be careful not to give us away," Carlisle warned.

We fell into silence and waited. All of this because of a notebook which may not have anything to do with Ephraim. Despite my fears, I knew it meant something. Because just two weeks ago I had organized my drawers and I'd only seen clothes. So, yeah, this was _important_.

We stood up quickly as we heard Alice's Porsche arriving. Carlisle gave us all a warning glance before walking towards the front door and opening it. Alice walked in first, followed by the man and Rosalie marched just behind him. The guy must have been in his mid-thirties. His blue eyes narrowed as we came into his view. He obviously worked out because he was almost as big as I was, although he was shorter – shorter than Edward, even. His head was shaved and his lips formed a small smirk. Cocky, I see. Maybe in a few minutes he won't be, when I break his fucking teeth.

"Mr..."

"Khan," he said. "My name is Oliver Khan." He had a clear British accent.

"Right, Mr. Khan. Please, have a seat." Carlisle motioned with his hand to the sofa. He was being too polite for my liking, but this was his house and as such, I had no saying. Oliver sat down and looked around him.

"It's a nice house you have here," he commented. Carlisle nodded and murmured a "Thank you". "Miss Brandon told me you wished to speak with me."

Carlisle nodded again. I supposed Miss Brandon was either Rosalie or Alice. They probably decided it would be best if we didn't mention our real names.

"I believe you have something that belongs to us."

"Not anymore, actually," Rosalie contradicted and raised her hand, showing what we have been fretting about in the last few hours. She sat down next to Ed and handed him the notebook which he took with uncertain hands. He turned his head to me, his green eyes hesitant and I gave him a small nod, silently reassuring him.

"So, Mr. Khan," Carlisle said. "May we know what lead you to break into someone's house and steal something from them?"

Oliver chuckled lowly.

"Listen, I'm only doing my job. Ethan gave me a mission and the notebook was the target…"

"Who the hell is Ethan?" I growled, cutting him off.

"He's one of the people I work for. It's not the first time a mission gone wrong, but he could have told me about you and I'd been more careful."

"So," Edward spoke up. "You steal for a living."

The guy smiled at his boldness and nodded.

"That Ethan dude," Emmett said. "What does he look like?"

"Five feet ten, late forties, hazel eyes, greasy hair." He shrugged with a relaxed posture. I could see he was telling the truth, but as I looked at Ed and saw the way he tilted his head and stared at Oliver quizzically, I began to wonder if I was wrong. The guy was obviously experienced; he could be acting for all we knew.

"How do we know you're telling the truth?" Edward inquired.

"Simple." He looked him straight in the eye. "You don't."

My copper-haired boy rolled his eyes, before asking:

"So where's this Ethan guy from? Oh, and you have to give us a second name before you get out of here."

"He lives in Madison, Wisconsin. And it's Nelson. His name is Ethan Nelson. And you're probably wondering why he ordered me to steal the notebook, but honestly I have no idea. You'll have to ask him."

Edward narrowed his eyes, studying him, but shook his head after a minute and sighed.

"Whatever," he muttered. "You're just doing your "job"."

«-»

French love poems were the content. Something so simple, but they probably had some meaning. However, we were getting nowhere and some started to think that we couldn't figure this out because of our own stupidity. Ephraim, children of the moon, and even a fucking notebook. Was it all connected or was karma making fun of us and this was happening at the same time just because?

Edward was trying hard to understand the poems, _find _something behind those words, something that would give him a clue. I could see this was tiring him down as he still hadn't found a thing.

We even searched for Ethan Nelson only to find out he didn't exist. The few people we found didn't match with Oliver's description.

Oliver? Maybe I should name him _Someone _instead, because that wasn't his fucking name. We checked everywhere. We didn't find him.

I, too, was starting to believe that our own idiocy was what prevented us from discovering the truth.

But with a still slightly traumatized and pregnant boy needing our attention, a psycho on the loose, dangerous werewolves haunting Forks and La Push and an enigma waiting to be figured out, how could anyone possibly think clearly?

**A/N: Hey, people. It's been a while, eh? I'm really sorry for taking this long and I know this chapter is short and has somewhat confused you, but I promise the next chapter will be very long and a lot of things will happen. This time, I have a solid plan. I don't know when I'll be able to post it. School is a pain in the ass, specially this year because of the national exams, buuuuut…I'll try to finish Chapter 16 as soon as possible, okay? ****See ya soon.**

**Love,**

**Carolina **


	16. Adele, huh?

EPOV

"Honestly, Carlisle, what is so amusing?" I asked, slightly out of breath and somewhat annoyed. I knew he could hear my heart beating furiously. Hell, even _I _could hear it. Certainly, he couldn't understand. He'd never gone through this. He'd never felt his stomach twist with so much anticipation. But I knew. Jesus, I did know.

I gasped lightly as Carlisle's hand spread a cold gel over my three and a half month into pregnancy belly. He rubbed my skin gently, trying to ease my anxiety. Jacob, who stood next to the marquise I was lounging on, squeezed my hand and we both glared at Carlisle as he chuckled. Jacob looked ready to jump out of his skin; his leg bounced up and down. Although I found it endearing, his reaction confused me a little. Jacob seemed to be even more nervous than I was.

I turned my head to look at the ultrasound monitor which showed…

Oh, Lord…

Was that my kid's head?

And…his legs…his little arms…

_Fuck, that's my kid. That's my kid!_

"Look, Jake," I grabbed his arm and pointed to the monitor. "Jake, look! That's my kid!"

Carlisle snickered, but this time I ignored him. Jacob's eyes were wide as he stared at the screen, completely amazed. He slowly twisted his neck to gaze at me and we grinned at the same time. Carlisle took a closer look and studied the picture for a moment before a smile spread over his face.

His words made me tear up. "It's a boy."

A boy. A little boy. I could already imagine our future. Me, Jacob, my son. Playing with cars. Jacob and I teaching the little one how to kick a ball. Taking care of him. Supporting him. Loving him. He was already so damn beautiful and seeing those images made my heart swell with adoration and pride.

Despite all the complications that we would most likely find in our path, I vowed to myself that I would make this little boy an extremely happy child; I would educate him the best way I could so that when he grew up he could use what I'd taught him to his advantage. He would live a candid life; become a good-hearted man. I would support his decisions (as long as they didn't prejudice him); I would protect him from any harm and make sure he was healthy. He would have everything a child should take for granted.

The screen didn't show high quality images, but I could easily make out my son's figure and that was enough to make my heart beat faster and a huge smile spread across my face.

_Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry._

"Don't cry," Carlisle laughed, "There's no need to do so."

"I'm not crying," I tried to retort over the lump in my throat. My vision was blurry, but I managed to control my emotions. What did he expect? I'd been waiting for this for a long time now. Even before becoming human, I'd wanted to be a father. It had always been a desire of mine that I hadn't shown. Truth was, I hadn't known what I wanted, always stuck in my seventeen-year-old body. In that time, it had been a faraway dream and I'd been sure that it wouldn't ever happen.

But this was real. It _was _happening and I was just so fucking happy.

I wanted to see more of my little boy, but Carlisle turned off the machine before I could protest. He gently wiped the gel off my belly with a tissue and I sat up straighter as he finished. I adjusted my baggy T-shirt and slid off the marquise, taking Jacob's hand and smiling at him. I could see he was just as happy as I was.

The ultrasound lifted my mood visibly. With everything that had happened and the tension accumulated inside every one of us, I hadn't had much time to think about my child. The last few weeks had been horrible – my bad mood had affected my family and Jacob as well. He and I had fought at least twice, each time over ridiculously simple things. He, too, was getting frustrated and had snapped at me when I hadn't been able to discover a message behind those French poems. All hell had broken loose. I was naturally hot-headed and he should know by now that I wasn't one to back down. I had screamed at him to do it himself if he thought I wasn't trying hard enough and had left his house without another word. He had sent me a text a few hours later, apologizing. I'd forgiven him…some days after, of course.

The second quarrel had been yesterday. We fought over a fucking Math problem.

I had asked Carlisle to do an ultrasound as I knew that it would be possible to get some perceptible images now. I had been worried about my child's well being since the little one could have been suffering from all the stress I was being subjected to. Thankfully, everything was okay with him. I just hoped that wouldn't change.

I'd called Jacob and had told him of my plans yesterday, grumbling an apology as our conversation came to an end. He'd chuckled and accepted it without any problem.

I put on a warm sweater and grabbed my backpack quickly. I wasted no time as I descended the stairs and I seized an apple from the bowl fruit in the kitchen before leaving the house. Jacob was waiting for me in his car and he smiled as I rushed to get inside his red Rabbit. I was still a little breathless by the time he took off; perhaps because I was staring intently at him –his good looks affected me greatly.

"What has you so hurried?" he questioned with an amused tone of voice.

I shrugged slightly, not knowing how to answer. The excitement that traveled in my blood was making it difficult to do things slowly. Soon we would be in our favorite place, near a translucent waterfall, away from our problems and away from curious gazes. We could do whatever we wanted together and release all the tension that had built up during the past few weeks. We could…do _those_ things. It was sunny today and the air was just a bit chilly, but it was only half past nine. In a few hours, it would be warm enough for us to take off our clothes…

_God, I'm horny._

I closed my eyes and shook my head lightly in an attempt to clear my thoughts. Getting hard now wouldn't help my situation. I very much wished we were already there, but I needed to be patient.

As the song coming from the car's stereo filled our ears, my head turned automatically to look at Jacob. A small smile played on his full lips, giving him a serene aura. His fingers irrationally tapped the steering wheel with the rhythm of the song and his breathing was deep and regular, indicating how peaceful he felt. The morning sun illuminated his dark and soft skin, and from what I could see from his eyes (since he was squinting because of the light that hit them), they were a lighter shade, almost amber-colored. He was celestially handsome; a breathtaking creature whose beauty could only be a gift bestowed by the heavens.

The song that was playing wasn't unknown to me, which wasn't surprising. I was a music addict, constantly seeking a melody to load my dreams and lull me into calmness when I was upset. I knew the lyrics of all my favorite songs, – so poetic, but so easy to memorize – and I was an appreciative listener. I was an admirer of many styles of music, only disliking pop and many of the tunes that kids listened to nowadays, the kind that was heard in parties and nightclubs. I was completely in love with folk; it brought me such tranquility that I could only smile contentedly when I listened to it. Ben Howard's _Old Pine_ was one of the songs capable of calming me down, so I was truly grateful that it was the background chanson at the moment. It was right what I needed to relax. Rock had a very big impact on my emotions and that was one of the reasons that made me absolutely adore it, but it wasn't what I necessitated now.

I missed playing my piano. I hadn't played in such a long time – since the incident that had totally changed my life. Sometimes, I would ogle at the majestic instrument with longing that was, very possibly, noticeable, and I would wonder why I couldn't bring myself to do it. It was a dear passion of mine, but it brought back many memories of a lonely existence. Happy melodies frequently inundated my mind and, piece by piece, they built a soothing tune. I'd written some phrases, but nothing very coherent, just loose bits that could go well together. Maybe if tried to connect them, I would get a reasonably decent product.

_Maybe if I tried to connect _him_ with the Children of the Moon and perhaps if I threw "Oliver" and the notebook into the mix…_

Yeah, maybe, I would become mentally unbalanced.

_We stood steady as the stars in the woods_

_So happy-hearted_

_And the warmth rang true inside these bones_

_As the old pine fell we sang_

_Just to bless the morning_

Thank God we had music to pacify our souls and brains.

I had to think about what I wanted to call my son. The range of names I could give him was ludicrously extensive, but I could only choose one – well, maybe two. I was certain that an English name would be the most adequate. I knew how some children reacted to unusual names and I didn't want my kid to be made fun of because I'd decided to call him Dagmar or something alike. Yet, I wanted to give him a special name; a name with meaning. Perchance I could name him after someone I admired or someone who I had kept inside my heart; someone who couldn't easily be forgotten.

I did know of a certain man who I still thought about from time to time; a man that I effortlessly recognized from the hazy memories of my human past.

Thomas.

The name wasn't extraordinary by any means, but I had a strong urge to honor the man who had helped me when my father died and my mother fell into a depression, just before the Influenza infected us both. I remembered that day as if it was today.

I had been sitting on a garden bench, in a somewhat deserted part of Lincoln Park Zoo (where I usually went when I needed to clear my thoughts), when a strange man sat next to me. He was very obviously a stray entity – his appearance and smell told me much about him. With rough and dark skin that hadn't been washed in weeks and a greasy beard that refused to be cut, the man was barely taller than my mother and his bodily odor was appalling. I didn't move, not wanting to be rude, regardless of the man's origins or social status. For me, he was just like anybody else, simply less well-groomed and most likely with less money. I tried to hide my teary face by looking away and crossed my arms over my chest as a sudden shiver ran through me.

A scraping sound caught my attention and the focus of my eyes unconsciously shifted to look at the man who vainly attempted to light a match. The phosphorus quickly turned black when the cold wind hit it, and the small flame died down. The man's sigh was muffled by the cigar in his mouth. I was surprised to find him smoking, or at least _trying _to do so. No homeless man could buy those things; no homeless man would choose cigars over food.

But then again, no poor black man would sit next to a neat white boy these days. Mother and I hoped that such discrimination would stop in the near future. Father hadn't expressed his opinion on the subject.

My dead father.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, finding comfort in the scent of tobacco that now lingered in the crisp morning air.

"This plague…" the man murmured. "Such a pain in the neck."

His voice, much like his skin, was rough, like he hadn't talked in days, or maybe it was the first sign of the flu. Astonishingly, I found myself not caring a bit if he was sick or not. He seemed like a good companion, so I politely nodded and threw him a sad glance.

He extended his hand and I took it without hesitation. He had a firm handshake, just like I expected. His fingers were calloused and I wondered if he did have a job; if he worked in a farm or a factory.

"Thomas," he introduced himself.

"Edward," I said in return with a raspy voice, no different from his.

Thomas narrowed his ebony eyes and scoffed.

"What?" I questioned, confused.

"You too?" he raised his eyebrows, "I swear to God it must be a disease."

"My name?" I chuckled. He took a puff of his cigar and bobbed his head. I shrugged awkwardly and fell silent, unsure of what I should say, and trying not to free my mind, afraid of my own traitorous and pessimistic thoughts.

"Everything will be okay," he whispered all of a sudden. Those four words stirred something inside me; something that flourished so swiftly that a crooked smile spread across my face.

_Hope._

That hadn't been the last time I saw Thomas. We'd meet at the park now and then and we would make wicked comments about society in those days. People who passed by used to throw us incredulous looks, both because of our skin differences and rejection towards the masks everyone wore as a protection. We hadn't shared any information about ourselves, and we had almost kept it that way until the end of our human days, but both our secrets were furious beasts awaiting freedom. Of course, at the time, there hadn't been much I could tell him, other than my father's death and how difficult it was to watch my mother become a shell of the energetic woman she'd once been. Thomas, on the other hand, had spent a whole afternoon telling me his life story.

He had fought in the war – something I had envied him for, until I remembered how economically miserable he was. Obviously, in that time, people of color didn't have the same privileges white individuals did. Also, being a man with no family, Thomas had gone unnoticed by most people, despite him being a surviving soldier. That day, he'd told me the horrors he had endured during the war of the trenches. By the time he was finished, I could only grind my teeth and reflect on my own wishes. Being a soldier wasn't a walk in the park, but I'd always been unafraid of the conflict raging in Europe and willing to help people.

He had simply scared me a little.

Thomas parents had died when he was nineteen and he had married a curly-haired woman as soon as he turned twenty-one. However, she hadn't survived the deadly tuberculosis that consumed her body after a few years. At thirty-six years old, Thomas was a survivor of numerous heartrending and traumatic events, and my admiration for him enlarged radically.

That day, we had hugged each other for the first time, mindful of our close friendship.

And _that day_ had been the last day I saw him, since a lethal virus had already caught me.

I'd come to know, after my first year being a vampire, that he had fallen victim to the disease, too, but no one had 'saved' him.

I released a long breath as my eyes focused on Jacob once again. I wondered if he would approve of the name. It was somewhat old-fashioned, but it sounded elegant and masculine, and I hoped my son would like it, too, when he grew up.

Thomas Masen. Not too bad.

Thomas Cullen. Yes, it sounded superb.

Thomas Black…

_Wait. What?_

My eyes widened on their own accord as realization settled in. Jacob was such an important person in my life (second most, in fact) that I didn't want him to miss out a single event in my child's living. Still, marriage wasn't something I had thought about since we started dating. I'd always had that idealistic and outdated way of thinking about it. Worse, I'd only found it natural between a man and a woman. However, things had changed significantly. Was I ready for marriage? It seemed likely, since I was expecting and prepared to raise a child. Yet, I had no idea if it brought any benefits. It would make mine and Jacob's relationship completely official, but was that relevant? Jacob and I were faithful to each other. Wasn't that enough?

Besides, I didn't believe my boyfriend's youthfulness would permit such thing.

But then again, he seemed eager to see my son grow up. _Didn't that prove that he would willingly marry me?_ I recalled the sparkle in his eyes during the ultrasound earlier – it was clear that he loved the kid, already. Regardless of his age, Jacob was an expert in taking care of people and I could imagine him playing the role of devoted father. However, his opinion could be far-off from mine. Perchance he wasn't as mature as I took him for, although such doubt was somewhat nonsensical. Ultimately, I would have to ask him.

Matrimony would have to wait, however. It was too soon.

I straightened up in my seat as the car came to a stop, and playfully pinched Jacob's arm before hopping out. The usual "Ow, what was that for?" came from his mouth in an almost girly squeal, making me erupt into loud guffaws. I slung my backpack over my shoulders, which contained water bottles and more than ten (no hyperbole) sandwiches, most of them for my bear of a boyfriend. Jacob had his own load of food to carry – which would cause him no trouble – plus some blankets where we could sit and our beach shorts. Alice had foreseen the weather for today; consequently, I'd planned the whole thing: a picnic, a swim near our beloved waterfall, and, obviously, a wonderful love-making session. So, I'd placed a bottle of lube and condoms inside my backpack, which I fully intended on using today.

Jacob and I walked through the dense forest, both talking non-sense and laughing at full volume with no shame. A significant part of my blood had installed itself on my cheeks due to the hot air surrounding us – one of the bad things about having fair skin. Whether it was hot or cold, my skin always reddened. In this case, it was flushed because I was overheated; the rays of sun were stretching across the vibrant woods vehemently, warming the atmosphere. The umbra offered by the huge evergreen trees was a relief, for I was quite sure I'd burn without it.

We paused for a few minutes so I could take off my sweater, which was afflicting me to no end, and I took the moment to drink some water and rest a little – I didn't want to put a strain on young Thomas.

"The Mariners are playing today," Jacob informed casually.

"Against…?"

"The White Sox."

A crooked smile blossomed across my face.

"How much?"

"Nothing, man. Your team always wins. Besides, you always end up giving me the money back."

"Stop acting like a looser!" I walked over to where he was and nudged his shoulder with my hand. Emmett and I had always betted against each other, and, for me, bets were like candies – sweet and tempting. Mine and Jacob's bets weren't as serious – we never had more than five bucks in our hand when we watched baseball games – and I always won. Jacob didn't really mind; he knew I didn't have it in me to keep his money, and besides, he was usually rewarded with a make-out session.

Jacob's hands found my cheeks and his eyes penetrated my own, as if they had managed to hypnotize him. The intensity of his stare lit a fire within mine, forcing my lungs to move faster as my heart's pace accelerated. His hot breath fawned over my forehead for a moment, before he leaned down so his mouth could level with mine.

"Ex-leech," he whispered and we both chuckled breathlessly. "You know I lose control when you smile like that."

"Good," I murmured, "I like it when you lose control."

With that, our lips collided and our eyes closed. His right hand slid down my torso until it touched my hip as my arms circled his waist and our bodies drew closer. My heart's palpitations were music inside my chest – staccato beats that formed a nimble sonata when combined with Jacob's. He too, was dazedly enthralled, his arousal growing dangerously fast, pressed against my slightly swollen stomach. My own cock was hard as a rock – it was almost painful. Our kisses became feverish tongue battles; our lips ached to touch more skin and our hands ran up and down passionately. My fingers played with the hem of his t-shirt, slowly elevating it so I could take a look at his sculptured abs. Jacob quickly understood my intentions and wasted no time removing his upper clothing, showing his amazing body.

In no way did his outer shell change; his muscles were always bulging and solid, and his skin never lost its enviable color. He looked like a Hollywood actor at all times. No, scratch that. A Hollywood actor would kill to have such a stunning appearance.

My feet were guided backwards by Jacob's confident steps, and soon I was the only barrier between him and the monumental tree behind me. His teeth caught my earlobe and held it in place without hurting me while his tongue licked the skin just below my ear. An abrupt and very audible exhale left my mouth at the same time as my fingertips left an undetectable trail on Jacob's shoulder.

"Should I take you here? Against this tree?" The huskiness of his voice had me breathing in sharply. "Or maybe on this lush earth…" he suggested. "Which one do you prefer?"

He got no response from me, as I was too busy unbuttoning his denim jeans and thinking about how desirable he was. I attacked his mouth without warning, and shared the hot wind that was consuming my lungs with him. He wrapped his strong arms around my waist, his heat engulfing me, and his hands lowered slowly until they located my glutes. There, his hands for a moment, but, almost immediately, they squeezed my behind gently, forcing my chest to expand with a violent intake of air. I pulled his pants impatiently, wanting him to be naked as soon as possible.

Obviously, I wasn't the only one in a hurry, because Jacob managed to take them off in no time, and then proceeded to remove my clothing as well. He started with my t-shirt, exposing my upper body and revealing my pregnant belly, and got rid me of my jeans afterward.

Now that we were only in our underwear, the burning ardor that had possessed my blood increased severely, so I curled my hands and fisted Jacob's dark hair, bringing his head down and kissing his full lips aggressively. While our mouths moved in sync, I pulled the elastic of his boxers and grabbed his thick (and fucking beautiful) cock and started pumping him. His forehead met my shoulder when I moved faster, and his breathy noises of satisfaction filled my skull with courage. My tongue came out to lick his collarbone, _caress_ the softness of his skin, and he groaned, unconsciously promoting my actions. His nipples were the next to be cherished and painfully pleasured as I rubbed my teeth against the dark and tender flesh that begged for my attention.

Jacob's forearm leaned on the enormous tree that rubbed my back, and his head dropped suddenly, his enjoyment of my sensual fondling triumphantly getting to him. His sturdy hand covered the back of my cranium and gently stroked my hair as my knees finally hit the ground and my fingers dragged his boxers down. His pulsating cock sprang free and implored me to touch it. But my mind divided itself all of a sudden as my nervousness and devastating lust fought fiercely. My tongue wanted to reach out and taste him; my palate would sing with joy and my heart would scream with happiness, for my true intent was pleasuring my beloved. But my inexperience was an obstacle that couldn't easily be surpassed. I'd never done this before and I was afraid of executing it wrongly.

Such fear was erased from my spirit when Jacob's vocal cords and mouth produced a raspy "please". Insecurities forgotten, I let my boldness and intense yearning control my actions. I began licking the head of his cock, which was dripping with pre-cum, and a devious smile spread across my face as a wave of confidence washed over me.

The liquid was a mix of bitterness and sweetness; completely different from anything I'd ever tasted. My tongue swirled a few times, tentatively getting used to the strange flavor, and my audacity swelled after a few licks. I was ready to surround my boyfriend's dick with my eager and hot mouth. I wrapped my bruised lips around his shaft and a spark of delight radiated inside me when Jacob moaned loudly. I sucked as well as I could, always with the same rhythm, but didn't take it too far, afraid of gagging. It was clear that Jacob didn't mind a bit about that; his moans proved just how enjoyable this was for him. I looked up to see his face. His eyes were shut tightly and his mouth was slightly open while soft gasps of pleasure made his chest heave up and down.

My member was now agonizingly begging for relief and I knew that Jacob would probably be spent afterwards if he came now – we would miss the opportunity of using the items I had in my backpack. Therefore, I released his cock with a soft pop and scrambled immediately for a condom and a bottle of lube. I ignored Jacob's loud groan as my frenetic hands seized what I needed, and I stood up hastily, turning around to face him. My back hit the tree when Jacob all but threw himself at me. I didn't even register the pain I would certainly feel if we weren't in this situation. He peppered my face with wet kisses while my tongue worked on his jaw, and his digits brought my underwear down when I tried to rip the condom wrapper. My clumsy motions were frustrating: all I wanted was to have him inside me as soon as possible and I was being slowed down by my inept fingers.

"God damnit…" I swore lowly. A breathy laugh escaped me as I realized my own stupidity. My teeth caught the border of the foil pack, and wasting no more time, I tore it open. Meanwhile, Jacob had coated his fingers with lube and grabbed my thighs, pulling me to him vigorously. His scorching skin tickled mine, and my eyelids slid closed as I sucked in a pleading gasp. Our lips crashed once again with the same fervor and enthusiasm.

I rolled the condom down his cock and smoothed out the latex carefully before taking the lube from his hand and painting my own with the substance. My digits embraced Jacob's desperate dick, quickly greasing it as we shared a searing kiss, and suddenly my feet left the ground as Jacob got hold of my legs and wrapped them around his waist. He pushed our bodies against the tree as my arms hugged his shoulders. He then proceeded to prepare my opening (too carefully, in my opinion) and only after I told him that I was ready did he remove his fingers from my channel. We both adjusted our positions and his arms circled my torso. My wolf was preventing me from getting hurt due to the hard peel that covered the arbor's trunk he had chosen to fuck me against.

I placed my hands on Jacob's broad shoulders and pushed myself up, positioning my entrance above his fully erect and awaiting cock. I swallowed a mouthful of air, preparing myself for the pain that was soon to come.

I lowered my ass until I felt the head of his member entering me ever so slowly and shut my eyes as Jacob carefully pushed me down. My hold on him tightened once he was finally buried deep inside me, and I flexed my jaws, biting his shoulder _hard._

An instant surge of overwhelming pleasure consumed me after a few seconds; the heavenly feeling of being complete made my toes curl and my cock throb. Jacob's arms girdled me again in a protective stance as he started thrusting into me. Our faces were merely two inches apart – my oxygen was his oxygen – and our eyes pierced each other's souls. His full lips were parted and his dark irises forced my heart to beat implicitly faster.

I devoured his mouth and hugged his shoulders forcefully while he fucked my ass into oblivion, and I dug my nails into his flesh when he hit my prostate. A loud curse escaped me out of the blue; my vision blurred and my chest shrunk, so blissful was the fire that traveled within me. Our frantic breathing and dirty-talking echoed through the vast forest; glorious screams and grateful hisses shook the atmosphere. My cock was ready to burst and the tightening in my stomach and balls warned me that I wouldn't last much longer. We were both sweating, already – having him so close to me, _fucking _me so hard and fast, as if the air was not hot enough was like being swallowed by a delightful combustion.

Gravity was unknown to me in that moment. His taut body began moving faster and faster and, suddenly, I felt like I was flying; I nearly lost all my senses and I let myself be possessed by my love for him. I screamed his name and grabbed his hair, as my vision went black and my cock erupted like a raging volcano.

I didn't know how long my orgasm lasted, but when I was finally able to see again, Jacob was kneeling on the ground, panting tiredly, and my legs were still embracing his waist. His member hadn't left my channel either.

I laid my head on his shoulder, trying to catch my breath and smiling contentedly, and Jacob's hand found my damp hair while I gave his neck a soft kiss. I knew we had to clean up, but I decided to stay in his arms for a while longer, seeing as my legs were numb and my vision was hazy. Sex was tiring, undoubtedly, but it was worth it.

All of a sudden, it dawned on me that I hadn't panicked for a single second and I'd just had an _intense _fuck. This was the first time Jacob and I had such a fiery love-making session and I was definitely proud of myself for completely blocking my traumatizing memories. Of course, Jacob's ability to make me feel safe helped, but, this time, he hadn't gone slowly like he usually did. I could only guess that we were both so aroused that we completely disregarded my fears. That is, if I still had any fears at all, seeing as I didn't have nightmares anymore and I could not fully recall the last time I'd had a panic attack.

Although there were still various problems waiting to be solved, I was genuinely high-spirited and ready to confront them. What had happened to me was not absent from my memories; the remnants were simply hiding in the back of my mind. The evil's cowardice was indulging me and my loved ones since they deeply disliked to see me upset. This newly found peace was also good for my Thomas – my emotional state's development would allow him to grow healthy and hopefully, in peace.

Slowly, I removed Jacob's cock from my ass and stood up, getting used to the slight soreness that now lingered there. I doubled over and pecked Jacob's temple before reaching for my boxers and putting them on.

"Are you hungry?" Jacob asked, twisting his neck to look at me. I touched my stomach and nodded, flashing him an apologetic smile. Honestly, I was starving.

I cleaned my seed from Jacob's chest with a tissue while he took care of the condom, and I covered the dirty items with another piece of paper. I hid them in my backpack and didn't even consider throwing them away. Sincerely, I wouldn't dare leave any remains of my sexual activities in a forest. Not only was it detrimental for the environment, but it was also plainly repulsive.

Jacob didn't find the idea of carrying a condom inside my bag very pleasant, though.

"God," he frowned. "Why does sex have to be so messy?"

I chuckled while my fingers zipped up the fly of my jeans.

"Because that's what makes it sexy," I answered with a playful tone of voice. The butterflies in my stomach danced when Jacob laughed, because his smile was beyond beautiful, and knowing that he felt happy because of something I did or said always left me pleased with myself.

Once we were fully dressed, we sat down on a broken trunk and started eating. Well, devouring would be the most fitting word, since we almost finished with all the food we had brought. Our random choice of subjects to talk about ended after a while and I decided to ask him if his father had made up his mind regarding the treaty matter that Carlisle had mentioned.

"He has," he shrugged with an apologetic expression.

"And what did he decide?" I pressed, fearing his answer.

"I'm sorry, ex-leech," he shook his head and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "He thought about it and even consulted with the Elders, but they said they don't allow it."

I closed my eyes and mumbled a low curse, sighing heavily. If only they knew the whole story, they'd plead for our forgiveness. Partly, I was thankful for the big twist taken by fate when my family found out I was pregnant. In the end, the Quileutes and the Cullens had done favors to each other and that was one of the few reasons why a war hadn't been waged. Still, one of them had broken a rule and serious consequences had followed _his _actions. If it weren't for my relationship with Jacob and my family's decency, the wolf pack would have been attacked.

I didn't let silence take over, deciding to change the subject quickly. We packed our things when we were finished, and carried on with our walk, holding hands and exchanging jokes. A slight headache slowed me down at a certain point, but I kept going, merely quieting and desperately wishing for it to vanish at the same time. Thankfully, the dull pain faded by the time we arrived at our much-loved place. We sat under the canopy of our favorite fir, and waited for the sun to fall a little.

Once it was safe to take off our clothes without hiding under an awning and our stomachs had digested everything they should, we undressed hastily and put on our swimming shorts. Jacob looked downright godly with the simple garment, and I watched the way his ass moved for a moment before flashing him a cheeky grin. He was the first to step into the crystal clear water and I followed soon after, slowly getting used to its cold temperature.

My legs were already under water when Jacob approached me, shaking his dripping wet head and steeping me in the process. I cringed slightly, as I was still trying to ignore the chills that ran up my spine.

"Too cold for ya, ex-leech?" he cackled. I took a hesitant step forward and ran a hand through my hair. My shrug was almost unnoticeable.

Suddenly, my whole upper body was hit by a wave of freezing water, and I gasped like a fish on land. Jacob guffawed loudly while I stared at him with an expression of horror and anger. My teeth chattered and my body shivered, but I could feel my skin adapting to the temperature. Still, there was no need for Jacob to do that.

_Oh, I'll get my revenge…_

"Oh, yeah?" I shouted, playing the role of an enraged rebel. Jacob shot me a terrified look, playing along, and I lowered my back, bathing my forearms. I narrowed my eyes, pretending to be furious while my hands curled slightly under the chilly aqua. Without any kind of warning, my arms shot up, soaking him in the process, and it was my turn to laugh victoriously.

With that, we waged a splashing battle, laughing obnoxiously and behaving like two animated infants. Jacob grabbed my wrist, pulling me to him and forcing me to dive with him. I couldn't see much under water, but I couldseehis huge smile, which I gladly returned. There was a part of the pond that was deeper than I expected, and we swam in its direction. It didn't last more than ten seconds; our heads were soon above the surface. I found myself standing on the tips of my toes as Jacob leaned down to kiss me, and my wet hands reached out to grip his arms.

The feeling of being surrounded by water was surprisingly good – I was literally floating. It wasn't a _really_ big deal, but I was definitely liking the experience. I couldn't remember the last time I'd done something like this; I only recalled going to the beach several times when I was younger, but, until now, I'd had no idea how it actually felt like.

Jacob and I were both breathless when we stepped out to dry off, and we sat on the verdure-covered earth with our legs crossed, facing each other. Afterward, I approached him slowly, all but dragging my behind, and my legs laid on top of his while my stern planted itself between Jacob's shanks. I rested my head on his chest, and he circled my torso with his arms, sighing contentedly.

"Jake…" I mumbled against his skin. The idea of telling him about my choice regarding my son's name seemed appealing in that moment, so I decided to do so. "What do you think of the name Thomas?"

"It sounds like the right name for a good-hearted guy, I guess," he answered truthfully. "It's a bit common, on the other hand."

"Yes, but so is your name…and mine, too. It's just… There's someone who I'd like to honor – a man who has died a long time ago, to be specific – and I'm asking because…"

"…you want to name our son Thomas and you want my opinion," he completed.

"Exactly," I smiled, but I immediately froze when I realized what he said.

_Our son._

A strange warmness blossomed inside my ribcage, and my stomach did flip-flops as inconvenient tears filled my eyes. I managed to contain myself in time, but my hold on him tightened automatically.

"Hey, what…?"

"I love you," I interrupted him.

"I love you, too, ex-leech," he returned with a confused voice. "Is something wrong?"

"No," I shook my head and kissed his chest. "I just…love you. You and…our son," I smiled. "I love you both."

And I did. More than I could put into words.

«-»

In all honesty, my playing was no here nearly as good as it was before. _Seriously…_

I recalled the way I easily played Vivaldi when I was a vampire – I used to reach perfection without any difficulty. Now, though, it was a terribly complicated task. I'd tried to do play "Winter" dozens of times, but I had simply managed to spoil the masterful piece.

However, I knew that I'd just have to practice harder. For a beginner, such struggle would become upsetting after a while, but I was an experienced player and as such, I had to be patient. Besides, I had a whole afternoon to get used to the ivory keys and the beautiful sound behind each one.

Jacob was at school and he wouldn't be back until six o'clock. Meaning, I had enough time to start working on a song of my own. I planned on showing it to him once it was ready – it would be his (and only his) song.

I gathered all the small papers where I had written loose phrases and headed for the kitchen. I sat in front of the table, a music notebook and the torn sheets spread out on the polished wood, and started working. I copied the pieces into the neat book (carefully imagining how they would sound in that order) and I smiled at the results when I was finished. Now I just had to play it on my piano so my ears could evaluate it.

As expected, the final product was satisfying, to say the least. I only had to change some notes until the song fully pleased me. It was a fast and powerful piece, which perfectly suited Jacob's personality, and I really hoped he would like it. I played it a few more times, enjoying myself and perfecting my skills until I heard the doorbell ring.

I casted a glance at my watch and furrowed my eyebrows, confused. Only half an hour had passed since three o'clock – Jacob wasn't supposed to be here. On the other hand, it could be someone else, though that was surprising. Everyone thought that only Carlisle and Esme had stayed in Forks, convinced that the Cullen kids had gone away to college, so it couldn't be anyone from school. Perhaps it was someone from the coven Denali. I hoped it was Tanya – I hadn't talked to her in a long time and I really missed her company. It suddenly dawned on me how much of a horrible person I was. So caught up in my relationship with Jacob, I had completely forgotten about my _best friend._

No more waiting, then. I would give her a call tonight.

I heard a door closing and decided to head off to the living room to see who was here. The only sound I could detect was the clicking of high heels on the hardwood floor and, as I got closer, I spotted Rosalie holding a small box in her hands. Her eyes immediately met mine while I approached her slim figure, and they held an odd emotion which I couldn't quite recognize. The box she was carrying was red and rectangular, with a white ribbon wrapped around it and a sticker on the front that said "For Edward".

All my theories about the person who had rung the bell went out of the window as I realized it had been a deliverer, and I internally laughed at my own silliness while Rosalie slowly handed me the small box.

"It's for you," she said. I frowned suddenly, eyeing her with a skeptical expression – which she returned – and took the box from her with hesitant hands. My breath caught in my throat as I thought about who could have possibly sent it and what it contained. Was it a gift? Or was it another enigma like the notebook Jacob had found?

Rosalie and I sat on the white couch without taking our eyes off of the small package.

With a fast-working heart and a cold spine, I tore the ribbon and slowly opened the box, my hands trembling slightly. A simple and tiny paperback was the only content and its cover was worn and black. Rose and I shared a curious look, capturing each other's nervousness, before I decided to open the miniscule book.

A dramatic text occupied the first three pages – it wasn't difficult to figure out it was a play – and it had been written by a talented hand, because the calligraphy was undeniably exquisite. The text was in English but I was almost one hundred percent sure it was a translation. I had _seen_ this before. At some point – in my vampire life – I must have read it.

It was a single scene that consisted in two conversations between a fool, the Devil himself and an angel. The language used was very old (probably from the sixteenth century) and I could easily identify some swear words in the Fool's speech.

Except…

He wasn't exactly a fool.

"Come on," I murmured, shutting my eyes and trying to remember where I had seen this before. I knew that this character was important; that he was _not _a fool. He was a stock character, just like the other characters in the…

"The Act of the Ship of Hell!" I blurted out all of a sudden and, just like that, my memory caught up with me. "Originally Portuguese and written by Gil Vicente with the intent of criticizing society in that time," I said quickly. More details about the story crept into my mind as I tried to recall when and where I had read it.

Rosalie analyzed the paperback's content with narrowed eyes before addressing me. "It's an interesting scene, as far as I'm concerned," she commented. "It's remarkable how the Fool spells out his hate for the Devil. He speaks with such boldness and carelessness and yet, the Angel accepts him."

I wagged my head. "Read the last part," I said and she complied to my wishes. Her face only showed recognition as she read the Angel's speech. I proceeded to explain. "The Fool is forgiven for his actions, because it wasn't his intention to sin. He's too innocent to be judged."

"So, he's insane," Rosalie concluded. As soon as she said that, it dawned on me that she was wrong and it all started to make sense suddenly.

"No," I countered. "He's not insane. He's a child, hence his name. In that time, infants were called fools…" I trailed off as I saw where her gaze was directed at. Two meaningful words at the end of the page caught my eye, and I sucked in a breath when I realized that we had another enigma to solve.

'Please, understand' was what was written below the text with beautifully printed letters. It was clearly a message that I could – should – relate to the scene I'd just read, and the character we'd been discussing was more important than I had first thought. I knew the whole act – the story's synopsis, in reality – and I knew that the Fool was a fundamental character, but now he was more than that. Now I felt like I had to relate him with someone else – someone I knew…

It didn't really matter if he was insane or just a child, because, either way, he couldn't exactly be blamed for his actions.

Honestly, however, I didn't want to think about comparisons, because, _willy-nilly_, they would bring back bad memories.

«-»

"Coke or Sprite?" I asked as I stared at the two bottles. Neither the price nor their taste was a problem to me, however. I just needed to know which one Jacob preferred.

"_Vodka,_" he replied. I tilted my head so I could sandwich the cell phone between my shoulder and my ear, and bent down to seize the distinct plastic bottles. I placed them inside the shopping cart and grabbed my phone, giving my neck a little rest. Shopping and talking on the phone simultaneously was a rather difficult task.

"Keep dreaming," I chuckled. "I'm taking both _sodas_."

"_You're a spoilsport_," he accused playfully. "_What are you going to make, anyway? Tuna soup made of spinach?"_

I was forced to stop suddenly as he said that. I held the phone away from my ear and covered my mouth while a loud snort escaped me. The few people who passed by threw me disapproving glances and I involuntarily blushed, trying to control my amusement.

"It's a surprise," I told him sincerely.

"_Oh, damn,_" he snickered. "_Do you know what I'd really like to eat?"_

I stepped into the vegetables section and went en route for the ingredients I needed.

"What?" I questioned, genuinely curious. I put three eggplants into a bag and added a fourth when I remembered how beastly Jacob's stomach was.

"_Something edible,_" he replied with a mocking tone of voice.

I scoffed. "For your information, Esme has taught me a lot about culinary art and, as you know, she's a wonderful teacher. I can't believe you're doubting my cooking skills," I playfully scolded him while my eyes found savoy tufts a few feet away.

"_Sure, sure._"

"Oh, let me see…" I said as my hand seized a cabbage bunch. "Food poisoning. Just what I need for Jake's dinner."

He chuckled. "_You wouldn't. You love me too much._"

"Eh…unfortunately," I teased him.

"_Fortunately, Edward. It's _fortunately_."_

"Don't flatter yourself," I retorted as I searched for fresh mushrooms.

"_Sure, sure,"_ he repeated. "_So, I've been reading that play…"_ he trailed off.

"The Act of the Ship of Hell?" I guessed. Jacob knew that I had received a 'gift' and vowed to read the piece when I told him that it was one of my favorites.

"_Yeah. I've just finished reading it, actually."_

"So, what do you think?"

"_I honestly don't understand what you find so interesting about it."_

"Blasphemy!" I riposted.

"_Don't overreact." _I could imagine him rolling his eyes.

"Alright, but why do you think that?" I inquired, truly curious.

"_It's just so…sad, for lack of a better word. It makes us believe that everyone is going to Hell and only the innocent and those who die to protect their religion can go to Heaven."_

I grabbed a package of rice and placed it inside the shopping cart as my head shook.

"The play is interesting, Jacob. It's humorous. You just misinterpreted it. It's supposed to be a satire."

"_So, is it like…making fun of aristocrats, hookers, friars…?"_ he trailed off.

"And on and on," I laughed. "Just…society in general. I'm surprised the piece wasn't censored."

"_Well, they didn't cut the author's head off, so it's only understandable."_

"How would you know that?" I questioned, confused. I'd really thought that the poor man had been killed and someone had found his piece and then it had passed from generation to generation.

"I googled him," he explained. "He was the pioneer of Portuguese theatre, actually. His plays were presented in the royal court. There must have been some funny business between him and the King," he chuckled.

I laughed. "Yeah, most likely."

"_Let's change the subject, ex-leech. Sharing general knowledge with you is making me nauseous."_

"Asshole," I whispered. "Trust me, if I wasn't the one cooking for you today, I'd definitely keep 'sharing general knowledge' with you until you puked. You're lucky I'm not willing to make a superb dinner for nothing."

"_Are you saying that I'll have to eat _everything_?" _he made a gagging noise.

I pulled over a somewhat _people-empty _corridor and lowered my voice significantly. "Keep that up, Black, and you'll see where you'll stick your dick for the next month."

Jacob gargled. "_As if you could wait that long…"_

"Oh, don't worry. I'll manage."

After getting all the items I needed, I headed for the cash register and paid them, refusing to keep the change. The grocery clerk tried to object, but my no-nonsense look immediately quieted her.

Being around strange people on my own felt somehow refreshing, to be honest. When I'd decided to do so yesterday, Jacob had asked me more than once if I was absolutely ready. At first, I was rather afraid, but soon I chose to forget all my fears and concentrate on my determination. Only now I realized that leaving the Cullens' house without company was much better than being inside a mansion full of vampires who had nothing to do.

My initial paranoia was, apparently, completely irrational. Before entering the supermarket, I'd taken a moment to look around and just…think. A smile on my face was the final result, much to my surprise. The perceptive side of me had been quick to notice how distracted each individual seemed to be. Although Forks was a small town, its habitants, in general, obviously lead either a stressing or vivid life. I'd detected the way some of them walked – hurriedly – and their involuntary movements – their quick glance at their watch, the way their steps faltered when they saw something out of usual, or even the faraway look which some carried in their eyes.

They didn't want to hurt me. They didn't want to hurt anyone, in fact.

When I'd hopped out of the car, instead of feeling anxious, I'd felt safe. In many places, a crowd would be of no use to me if I was in danger. Here, on the other hand, a public scandal would be easily noticed. I know that, if something were to happen to a normal stranger, I would help that person. Therefore, – and in all honesty – I expected them to do the same for me.

As I thought about my primary dilemma, I realized how miniscule it was. There wasn't much I had to worry about, as far as I was concerned. After all, I was just a normal human being. I was simply the strange Cullen kid who had decided to come back from Alaska to visit his parents. What could possibly go wrong?

The likelihood of someone noticing my baby bump was scarce. My stomach wasn't very big in the first place and I was wearing one of Jacob's large sweaters, so it was barely visible, if not unnoticeable at all. Honestly, I had been somewhat worried that Thomas wasn't growing fast enough, but Carlisle assured me that it was absolutely normal. In all his courtesy, he had even added that in a few months I would be bursting.

How terrifying he could be at times still stunned me.

I was walking towards my car, carrying two bags with food and drinks, when I was stopped by a smiley blonde girl who I had seen before entering the supermarket. She seemed to be delivering some kind of pamphlet to each person who walked by and I was apparently her current target. I took the small paper she had in her hand with the tips of my fingers and smiled politely, even though I was internally cursing her for complicating my small journey.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," the girl said. "Do you need help with those?" she offered, pointing to the brown paper bags in my arms.

I flashed her a grateful and genuine smile this time and bobbed my head. Carefully, she took hold of one of them so I could seize my car key from my back pocket and unlock my Volvo's doors. I placed the bags in the backseat before thanking the girl for her help.

"How inconsiderate," I heard her sigh. My head whipped in her direction and I wondered if she was talking about me, but when I saw where her gaze was aimed at I relaxed immediately. Her arm was resting on the roof of my car and she was grabbing her hair, visibly frustrated. "Dollars and dollars have been spent to make these pamphlets and it's kind of hard to see everyone throwing them away," she huffed.

I really felt bad for her. She looked downright exhausted and I could understand her annoyance, but I tried to make her see from a normal individual's point of view. "Maybe they're just not interested and it's pointless for them to keep those," I explained, gesturing to the papers which she was holding.

"Please," she scoffed. "They don't even read them."

I suddenly realized that I still had one between my fingers and I decided to read it, just for the sake of it. It was an invitation for a bar party in Seattle that was bound to elapse tomorrow. An enjoyable afternoon, one free drink and good music were printed promises that didn't escape my eye, but what really picked my interest was the name of one of my favorite singers, Adele, in big letters.

"They planned the whole thing with the intent of raising funds for an institution for disabled people," the blonde gal informed. "I'm sure you understand why I sound so annoyed," she chuckled softly.

"I do, indeed," I smiled. "Adele, huh?"

"She agreed to do it for free. Can you believe that? I'm not getting a lot of recognition here, but considering the success my work buddies are making in other places, I bet the bar will be bustling tomorrow afternoon. Her performance will only last two hours, as she has a busy schedule, but I'm sure it will be worth it."

"Yes, it will," I agreed.

"You pay for the tickets at the entry. They're a bit expensive…" she trailed off.

"Oh, don't worry. Money is not exactly a problem for me."

"Does that mean you're going?" she questioned, suddenly enthusiastic.

I was at a loss for words, in all honesty. I was certain that if I did go, I'd bring Jacob with me, which assured me that I would be safe, but that wasn't really the point. Arriving home early was an unlikely possibility and that was why I feared Billy and Carlisle wouldn't let us go. Also, tomorrow night the moon would reach its fullest form and my family definitely wouldn't let the opportunity pass. There were many cons, but, to be frank, I really wanted to go.

After a few contemplative seconds, I replied. "I'll try."

"Great," she beamed. "Now, if you excuse me, I have to take a smoke. I've been doing this for God knows how long. I need a break."

With that, she walked away, placing the pamphlets inside her bag and taking a pack of cigarettes from her jacket's pocket.

I shook my head, somewhat amused, before moving to the passenger side of the car and hopping in.

Knowing that it was almost dinnertime, I rushed to get to Jacob's house. Billy had invited me for dinner and I'd accepted without a second thought, promising to cook for the three of us. Jacob was constantly teasing me about my cooking skills, not really aware of how good they were. I didn't mean to brag, but I could make some delicious food when I was in the ideal mood. I knew he was simply kidding, but I wanted to show him one of the reasons we should live together a few years from now, and this dinner was the perfect occasion.

As I parked in front of their house, Jacob's form came into view and I had to stop for minute to admire his cheeky smile. I turned off the engine before opening the door and stepping out, while he moved to where I was. We shared a greeting kiss and a simple hug, briefly breathing in each other's scents.

"Come on. I'll help you with these, ex-leech."

Billy was in the kitchen waiting for us when we came in and I rushed to greet him with a warm hug. I had really missed the man.

After that, I wasted no more time and started preparing everything to make dinner. Jacob offered to help, but I refused vehemently. I was getting somewhat nervous, because it was almost eight o'clock and I had nothing ready. Giving in a little, I let him set the table and chop the vegetables while I cooked the rice and tempered the steak. Throughout our work, I told Jacob about the bar party I had been invited to today. Knowing that Billy was listening, I asked him if his son was allowed to go and explained to him that I had everything under control – which I actually didn't, but a little lie wouldn't hurt anyone – and that I would look after his boy.

"_You_ looking after _me_…" Jacob snickered.

I glared at him. "No one spoke to you."

"Well, as long as Jake does not drink anything out of his league…" Billy said.

"He won't. I promise," I reassured him.

"Then, I guess it's alright."

Satisfied with his decision, I grinned and proceeded with the work that needed to be done. I placed the beefs on the frying pan after sprinkling the kitchen utensil with oil and Jacob put the vegetables which he had cut into squares in separate bowls.

"Sautéed vegetables…" Jake whispered in my ear with a sly grin.

Remembering the first time we'd had lunch together, I chuckled a bit and shook my head. I hadn't even thought about that before choosing what I would cook today.

"Do you like Adele?" I questioned, out of the blue.

With a shrug, Jacob replied: "She's okay, I guess. Why?"

"Because she's going to be there."

"Really?" he asked, surprised. I gave him a slight nod and continued to cook.

Once dinner was ready, we sat next to each other and started eating immediately, since we were both starving. I was pleased with our effort; it had definitely been worth it. Billy and Jacob agreed with me, although they weren't used to this kind of food, and we chatted and laughed for the rest of our meal. At some point, I involuntarily tangled my calf with Jacob's, like a physical link was supposed to be established between us most of the time. We smiled knowingly at each other, but we made no comments, and the hours passed by in a rush until I had to go home.

After hugging Billy goodbye, Jacob took me home, since I was too tired to drive, and promised to pick me up tomorrow morning with _my _car.

_Sneaky bastard._

I guess I could call it payback, given that, _miraculously_, the Mariners had won and I hadn't opened my wallet. Besides, it wasn't my wish for Jacob to run all the way to La Push, werewolf or not.

Before I could move a single foot to go to my room, Carlisle asked me if we could talk. Request accepted, he told me that one of his patients had randomly mentioned that there would be a bar party in Seattle which he suggested me to attend. Knowing that it was the same party I had been invited to, I simply said that I gladly accepted and he explained to me that it would be better that way, since the whole family would leave by noon to hunt and they would only be back after tomorrow. There was no need for him to enlighten me about what they would be doing at night; I was very obviously aware of their future activities. Carlisle, then, proceeded to tell me that he had already talked with Sam, so Jacob was excused from pack duties with the intent of looking after me and making sure I was safe.

Stupidly, I hadn't even considered the possibility of Jacob being on patrol or Carlisle not letting me go, but now that everything was settled, I didn't worry much about it. I simply told him 'Good night' and headed to my bedroom, where a very comfortable and warm king-sized bed awaited my arrival.

«-»

The next morning, as he had promised, Jacob came to pick me up, and I had to throw a quick glance at the mirror in my bathroom before leaving the house. This was the first time since I'd become human that I went to explore a rather big city like Seattle, and, although it wasn't my purpose to call attention, I wanted to present myself decently. Looking good for Jake was important; I was sure he had chosen something attractive to wear as well. I'd decided to bear a somewhat large red plaid shirt that easily hid my small baby bump and dark grey skinny jeans, along with a waist-length black leather jacket. At last, I'd completed the look with a pair of Vans.

Feeling rather smug, I checked if I had everything I needed – wallet, cell phone, ID, Jacob's fake ID (_Jenks does wonders_) and keys – before going downstairs and telling everyone that I was leaving.

After putting my seatbelt on, I gave Jacob a hasty peck on the lips, but my mouth couldn't resist him when he pouted in disappointment, so I brought his face down until our noses met with an awkward collision and forced my tongue into his cave. Stunned, Jacob took a few seconds to kiss me back and, once we separated, we laughed in chorus before he finally took off. Just as I had expected, he had carefully chosen what to wear. He looked undeniably dashing, dressed in dark-wash jeans that gave away just how strong his thighs were and a black wife-beater under a denim shirt.

The ride to the center of Seattle was considerably tiring. Being inside a moving car for almost four hours left me slightly grumpy, so Jacob decided to find a nice restaurant to have lunch only after we had the chance to see the sights and, consequently, stretch our legs. We only got to see Space Needle from afar, but simply walking around and enjoying the view was very satisfying. Despite being slightly afraid of being _too_ stared at, I snaked my arm around Jacob's waist while he threw his own over my shoulders. Thankfully, we didn't notice anyone glancing our way in a disrespectful manner. A couple of months ago, I would have panicked with so many people around me, but now I was grateful for the amount of entities surrounding us. It gave me a strange sense of privacy that I definitely appreciated.

We had lunch in a small but busy Japanese restaurant, where a very _affectionate_ young couple caught our attention. It was nice to know that we weren't the only gay duo in this establishment, but the way those two were so at ease made me somewhat envious. I wasn't accustomed to public displays of affection between my boyfriend and me, and I honestly wasn't certain if I was ready for that, but I…_sort of_ wanted to give it a try.

Jacob and I were sitting next to each other behind a wooden table in the corner of the room, which meant that the likelihood of someone noticing us was slim. Since we had already finished, I slowly moved my hand until it touched his while he ranted about his sister, Rachel, and some of the things they used to do as children. At a snail's pace, I tangled my fingers with his and waited for him to take notice of my timid approach.

But he didn't.

Embarrassed and amused, I slapped my forehead with my free hand and then covered my eyes as a low laugh escaped me.

"You _idiot_," I whispered.

Jacob stopped talking suddenly and it took him a few seconds to realize what was happening.

"Oh," he chuckled. "I'm so sorry."

When he attempted to place his arm around me, I playfully pushed him away and another apology fell from his full lips as we both laughed.

"I don't care. It's over!" I tried to say in a straightforward voice. To add emphasis, I picked a fork and a knife from the table and held them above my shoulders. "Do not object! I'm armed."

He brought his right hand to his chest and, in a fake broken voice, said: "You're breaking my heart, Edward."

"Oh, in that case…" I shrugged and put the silverware in its place. "I don't have adhesive tape with me, but I can think of other ways to mend it."

"Oh, really?" he smirked.

Taken away by his devilish and extremely attractive smile, I simply nodded and let his warm eyes melt my playful resolve. Jacob chuckled softly before presenting my nose with a gentle kiss.

The couple we had been watching earlier was now observing us with amused and endeared eyes, so I shyly smiled at them before looking away.

It was almost three o'clock when we left the restaurant, meaning we had plenty of time to walk around. Adele's performance only started at five, but we had to find the bar first. I had kept the pamphlet in my car because it had the place's address on it, since my GPS wouldn't magically get us there.

We visited Freeway Park, which had very pleasant sights, and our hands were joined from the moment we got out of our Volvo until we came back. If anyone threw us strange looks, I didn't notice (thankfully), because I was too distracted talking to my hilarious boyfriend.

When we arrived at the bar's entrance, a lot of people were already waiting in line to buy tickets, hence the long wait we had to undergo. I was positive that it would be worth it, though. In fact, I thought it was a great idea to create this event, since it was a successful way of raising funds for people with disabilities. Knowing that I was helping filled the pit of my stomach with satisfaction, even if I hadn't given it much thought before.

Inside, the bar was much bigger than what I'd imagined and definitely more good-looking than its outside appearance. The walls were covered by warm colors – from coffee brown to light beige – and the tables were all made of mahogany wood, as well as the modern chairs that surrounded them. Dim lights adorned the white ceiling and a not so tall stage appeared in my front vision. On my left, an extensive counter served as a bracket for drinks and food, while rather elevated stools made a line in front of it. Behind said counter, busy waiters and glass shelving that supported alcohol bottles completed the picture.

Although the bar was practically bursting with people, we managed to find a place where we could sit. Almost everyone was near the stage, obviously wanting to get the best view of the singer's performance, so we chose a table in the back of the room, where very few people passed by. Just before we were presented with Adele's presence, a waitress came to us and asked if we wanted anything. I didn't allow Jacob to speak, telling her right away that she could bring us two cokes. When everything was settled and all the players had their instruments ready, the British singer finally stepped onto the stage, beautiful and well-humored as ever.

Her voice floated in the air, powerful and melodic, and I couldn't help but sing along with her in low murmurs.

_Baby, I have no story to be told_

_But I've heard one of you_

_And I'm gonna make your head burn_

"Are you enjoying yourself, gorgeous?" Jacob whispered in my ear.

Turning my head, I met his warm eyes and flashed him a genuine smile. With a quiet hum, I replied. "Without a doubt, love."

He took the intimate moment to caress my lips with his briefly, but the short kiss was enough to spread a joyful warmness across my chest.

My answer to his question had been one hundred percent honest. Today had been one of the best days in my entire life and, although I had experienced many pleasurable moments with Jake, I was certain that this would be one of those that I would remember for a pretty long time. Being with him in public was more refreshing than I had first thought. Wandering through a city with no serious purpose while the ablest person to make me happy held my hand could only be compared to the freedom of a young animal. It was a strange similarity, I knew that, but I could think of no other way to describe it.

So lost inside my head, I didn't even notice the waitress who was attending us a few feet away. She was carrying two full trays and seemed to be struggling with their weight, but she managed to get to us quickly. She placed one of them on the table before distractedly putting the 'coke-filled' glasses we had ordered on the board's edge. Just as she was leaving, her arm must have rubbed against one of the glasses and made it fall, because, before I could take notice of it, icy soda stained my shirt and forced me to back away.

"Oh, Jesus! I'm so sorry," she immediately apologized. "You better go to the bathroom right now and clean that or it will leave a permanent splotch. Come on, I'll take you there," she said in a rush.

I wasn't an expert on clothes-washing, but I didn't really believe that such a simple accident could ruin my shirt. I had an inkling that she had some hidden intentions behind her concern for my clothing. Perhaps she was interested in me – I didn't mean to brag, but she wouldn't be the first. Not wanting to be rude, I stood up to follow her.

"Wait! I'll go with you," Jacob said.

Then, as if someone had cursed us, two things happened so fast that I wasn't sure if they occurred separately. In fact, I didn't see any of them happening; I merely heard the sound of a chair scraping against the floor before I collided with a burly body. The force of the impact forced me to take a few steps back and I looked up, coming face to face with a man in his early twenties.

"Watch it, faggot," he sneered.

My flinching was an involuntary reaction, but it was almost imperceptible. Before I knew it, Jacob was up and ready to put the young man in his place.

"You were the one who went against him on purpose, asshole!" he hissed. The man wasn't fazed by his size and anger, though.

"Yes, I did. So what? He's a fucking queer! Who cares?"

_Yeah, I forgot that being homosexual is a reason to be discriminated in this goddamn country._

Gaining some courage, I touched Jacob's arm and pleaded with him to calm down. "Come on, Jake. He's not worth it. Let's go."

Without having the decency to look at me, he replied: "Go? No, we're not going anywhere. If this guy has a problem, then _he _is the one who has to go."

On my right, a middle-aged woman tried to hush us and only then did I realize that this could cause a scene.

"Hey, if you two want to fight, do it outside," the waitress intervened. Stunned, I turned to her, open-mouthed, and asked her in a whisper yell if she was out of her mind. She simply shrugged and mentioned the stain on my shirt again.

"Yeah," the man agreed. "I'd like to see who would win: the real man or the goddamn fairy."

"I'll show you the fairy," Jacob spat. In my opinion, he looked calmer than what he was feeling, and it surprised me how well he was handling this, considering he could morph into a giant wolf in measly seconds because of his anger. Despite being afraid of a bigger turmoil, I was pleased with his self-control, within the circumstances.

"That's it, guys. I want you two outside _now_!" the waitress pointed to an open exit on the right side of the room.

"I'll be waiting for you,_ bitch_," the man said before turning away.

Still angry, Jacob moved to follow him, but I grabbed his warm forearm, trying to stop him. What I didn't expect was what happened next: he angrily freed himself and walked away from me, without so much as acknowledging my concern.

Surprised and hurt, I gasped, and the waitress placed a hand on my upper arm in a futile attempt to comfort me.

"Come on, honey. Let them solve their own problems. I'm sure your boyfriend will be fine."

I simply shook my head, still mulling over Jacob's actions, and followed her without a single word.

Dozens of questions ran through my head miles and miles an hour. Jacob's reaction to the offensive man's insults was pretty natural, yes, but what threw me off was what had just happened. He had walked away from me because of a miserly _son of a bitch_. What gave him the right to do that? I was simply watching out for him and trying to stop a serious fight from being waged. Was he so blinded by his anger that he couldn't even acknowledge me and the people around him? How ridiculous was that?

I was still hurt, but I was royally pissed off, too. His carelessness had left me baffled. I was not accustomed to this sort of neglect from him and I didn't like it. Not a bit. As much as I tried, I couldn't fathom his reasons for doing what he did.

I could see the sign that indicated a restroom for men on my left just a few feet away and I didn't even take notice of the waitress's sudden absence before entering.

Getting to the point of this brief visit, I used the first lavatory I saw, quickly and angrily scrubbing the stain on my shirt with a water-soaked hand. I wasn't being very successful, however, so I utilized a piece of wet toilet paper. I was desperately attempting to remove the bothersome splotch, when I heard _his _voice, clear as a sunny day, proving that this was not a hallucination.

"Hello, beautiful."

My heart sped up in speed of light and, in a fit of panic, I didn't think about the consequences of my involuntary reaction, so I raised my eyes, regretting it immediately.

There he was, a reflection in the mirror in front of me. He looked just like the last time I'd seen him – strong, tall, and easily able to crush me. His obsessed dark eyes roamed over my smaller frame with want and irrational _love_, and, all of a sudden, an uncomfortable nausea joined my labored breathing. To think that he was here – that Ephraim was here – and that we were completely alone made my entrails twist with panic and fear, while his predatory smile showed that I had every reason to be frightened. I wanted to _hit_ him, I wanted to beat him to a pulp and unveil the fury and disgust that had been hidden all these months, but my burning lungs and weak legs wouldn't let me move a single muscle. The rational part of my brain fought fiercely until I came to the conclusion that calling for help was the best option.

Through my gasping, my throat attempted to produce a loud sound capable of attracting attention, but, before a simple noise could be heard, his scalding hands were on me. Too swiftly for me to see, he turned me around and backed me up violently against a wall, placing a hand over my mouth. A sharp pain spread across the back of my skull and my vision blurred, while Ephraim shushed me like an adult would do to a child. Flashes of our last encounter sped through my head, and my eyes filled with tears automatically. I was almost certain that if someone didn't save me now, I would have to endure the same horror he had put me through months ago, and the mere thought had me whimpering in fear.

"I've waited so long for this," he rasped, while his hand snaked around my waist. Disgusted, I tried to push him away, but my effort was in vain. "Hush, now. Don't ruin this moment, Edward."

As I wasn't able to do anything with my arms, I irrationally tried with my legs in the hopes of kicking him where it would hurt him most. Unfortunately, a piercing pain in my abdomen stopped my movements, and my arms unconsciously hugged my belly.

_Not now, Thomas, please._

"Love, you don't look so good. We need to get you out of here," he whispered in my ear. I cringed at the fake concern in his voice. Unperturbed, he continued. "I know. It's an urgency. _However_, you might want to know some things before we leave this place."

The acute discomfort in my stomach started to fade until it was a just a dull ache, but it still didn't make me sigh in relief. Salty drops cascaded down my cheeks as his hands seized my wrists and held them above my head, and a strangled and pitiful plea fell from my lips.

"There are a few people inside this bar that I'm sure you would be pleased to meet, but there's no time for that now…" his hot breath fanned over my cheekbone. "You see, they aren't exactly people. In less than a couple of hours, the full moon will be waiting outside for them. They're under my control. If I tell them to go outside, they will comply. Imagine that: there would be a bloodbath. Think about all those innocent people who could die, killed by feral monsters. Your _friend_ could be one of them. _But_, if I tell them to stay here, they will stay until the sun rises and nothing will happen. In the end, though, those people's lives are in your hands. It's up to you to decide. Either you come with me willingly or they die," he smiled sadistically.

His association with the Children of the Moon left me speechless, while the puzzle pieces started to fit, all of a sudden. Still, I was aware of the serious decision I was being forced to make and, along with the panic that consumed my whole being, my mind simply couldn't dwell on that subject.

I was certain that leaving the bar with him and sticking to his obsessive plan meant that nothing would ever be the same. I would be his prisoner and possibly endure the most unspeakable cruelties, but being selfish now was not an option. I could see it in his eyes: he wasn't making bluff. Those people would be brutally murdered if I made the wrong decision.

Almost unnoticeably, I nodded, and a sob made its way up my throat. Ephraim smiled, satisfied.

"Wonderful," he said. "Now, the only thing you have to do is what you are doing now. You look sick, love, and you're obviously feeling unwell, and so I'm coming to your rescue. Do not speak. Do not give us away. You know what will happen if you do so."

I bobbed my head once again, but I couldn't stop the tears that fell continually. Carefully, he released my wrists, only to wrap an arm around my torso and using it to pull me to his body as he started walking.

I went numb in a successful attempt to protect myself from the feelings of horror that took hold of my internal organs. I had forgotten how it felt to be so scared…

I barely registered our footsteps as we walked towards the front entry, and the worried questions of some waiters sounded so distorted that I wasn't sure if I was hearing correctly. While Ephraim answered them, saying that I was feeling rather sick and that he would take me home, a light went on above my head and my eyes immediately searched for Jacob's black hair and tan skin amidst the multitude.

But he wasn't there.

Meanwhile, my captor practically carried me to the bar's entrance, where two security guards prevented anyone who wished to enter without tickets from accomplishing that goal. Seeing my condition, they let us leave without a word and Ephraim took me to my Volvo on the other side of the road.

More sobs rocked my frame and there was nothing I could do to stop them. I was in the wrong place, accompanied by the most wrong person. I was being kidnapped – there was no other for it – by my worst nightmare. I did not dare think about the ones I loved dearly, for that would cause a royal breakdown that could set him off. I simply winced when he reached for my car keys in the back pocket of my jeans, and I allowed him to guide me inside in silence.

At last, we left the place with him driving _my _car, while I stared at my lap, paralyzed with fear.

I didn't look up. I didn't speak. I didn't move.

I was simply too tired and too afraid to do anything, and, when I felt his burning hand covering the back of my neck, I didn't even flinch.

I simply let his thumb pressure my vagus nerve.

The fabric of my jeans, stained with dark dots that were a result of my continuous crying, was the last thing I saw before the world faded away.

**Author's Note:**

**Yes, I do realize that my writing has changed a bit (only in Edward's POV, I promise) and that I took an absurdly long time to update, but I hope you liked this chapter. Unfortunately, I don't think it has given you a chance to understand what is actually going on, but…if you think harder, I believe you will find an answer.**

**Please, for what it's worth, don't come with the sarcastic remark "I love cliff-hangers", because, although I'm terribly sorry for taking so long to update, such comments are likely to piss me off. This chapter is the longest chapter so far (28 pages) and I made a really big effort to make it good, so do not **_**whine**_**. If you wish to review, feel free to do so (I'll be delighted to know what you think about what I wrote), but either be constructive or simply appreciative.**

**As you have noticed, I started using quotation marks and left the dashes aside. Bear in mind that when I started writing this story I was only thirteen and I've changed a lot since then. Meaning, I'm not so self-conscious and stubborn. Also, you're probably wondering "Why has her writing changed all of a sudden?" I'll just explain: I've been writing some other stories (loose pieces, in reality) and I've been experimenting. This is the result. I finally believe that I'm able to write more maturely. I actually think that I **_**must **_**do it. I'm fourteen, not ten ;) I do sound like a different person, don't I? Don't worry, sweethearts, I'm haven't changed. I'm still crazy xD**

**Have a nice Easter, folks :D**


	17. He's gone

JPOV

"Let's see what you've got, fairy," the guy sneered, raising his fists threateningly. I laughed inwardly at his antics, but in no way did I show my amusement. Despite knowing that this fight would be a piece of cake for me, my spine was cold as an ice cube.

The guy was either very stupid or a masochist because, although he was tall and well-built, he had nothing on me. I didn't really care about who he thought he was. I was going to teach him a lesson. Although Edward had tried to hide it, I knew that the dickhead's initial comment had affected him for a few seconds, and I couldn't let this bigot get away with something like that. He needed to know that being gay didn't mean you were less of a man, and, who knows, maybe next time he would be more careful with what came out of his ugly mouth. His ridiculous remarks were making me angrier than I was letting on. Frankly, I couldn't bring myself to let his shit roll off my back. Perhaps if I made his stupid face look like a rotten tomato, I wouldn't be so upset afterwards.

Therefore, that was what I was going to do.

Without answering him, I swung my arm, forcing my fist to collide with his jaw _gently_. My punch would leave a nasty bruise, but it wasn't strong enough to affect the bone. Immediately, the lad's head whipped in the opposite direction. He almost lost his balance, but he managed to remain on two feet, facing me, after rubbing the place where I'd hit him. His facial expression shifted from surprise to anger in less than a few seconds and he brought his closed hand forward to strike me, but I moved out of the way.

Perhaps I should have stayed put and let him hurt himself.

A repulsively sweet scent suddenly alerted me of an unwanted presence nearby, so I simply grabbed the guy's throat and sandwiched him between me and the alley wall. He yelped, because of my sudden and too swift movements, but I chose to ignore him and try to figure out where the awful stench was coming from. On my left, where the alley ended and various lights illuminated a sidewalk, a tall and slim figure stood, and it wasn't difficult for me to guess _what _it represented.

It wasn't until the vampire approached that I finally got a view of his face. Like all the other bloodsuckers, he was inhumanly attractive. I analyzed his appearance quickly, noticing that his eyes were golden and his hair was short and blonde. He was barely an inch taller than Edward's brother, Jasper, and I could guess he had been in his mid-thirties when he was changed. The color of his eyes left me extremely confused; as far as I knew, the Cullens were the only animal-drinkers among the cold ones. It took me a few seconds to remember that there was a coven of 'vegetarian' leeches that lived in Alaska, led by one of Edward's closest friends. Perhaps this man was part of the group.

I couldn't understand _why_ he was here, though. Maybe he thought that the guy who was struggling against my strong hands was the victim here and he had come to save him. However, as he walked towards us, I could see that his true intentions distressed him. He obviously wasn't looking forward for what he was going to do.

_Shit, is he going to kill me?_

I wondered why I hadn't already phased. I was beyond angry and conflicted, which meant that I was supposed to be in wolf form by now (not that I wanted to). Phasing at this moment wasn't exactly convenient since there was a fat chance someone would see me.

I was stuck.

I didn't want to kill either of these guys. One of them was human and the other was probably friends with the Cullens. The human deserved to get his ass kicked, but there was no time for that, so I just shoved him in the opposite direction and told him that he had five seconds to disappear. He looked frightened (I would have laughed if I wasn't in the presence of an apparent enemy) and the time he took to stand up and run away from us was _almost_ brief.

_Slow motherfucker._

Shaking my head, I turned to the vampire a few feet away from me. I was about to ask him what the hell he wanted from me when his icy cold body collided with mine, forcing me to lose my balance and fall on my back. Surprised and in a bit of pain, I tried to push him, but he barely moved. In an instant, my heart's rhythm sped up, due to the unwelcomed fear that filled me. I was really fucking lost, because, between trying to control myself and attempting to figure out why he was actually attacking me, I didn't know what to do. The bloodsucker's inner torment was evident, but I had no idea what that meant. Was he going to kill me? According to most leeches, shape-shifters' smell was repulsive, so I knew that he didn't want to drink my blood. Besides, his eyes indicated that he only hunted animals.

Once again, I wondered why I couldn't phase. I really _couldn't. _I wanted to, but my body wasn't doing anything besides being a pain in the ass.

"He's gone," the vampire whispered like it was a secret. "He took him."

Confused, I simply managed to stutter out: "Who's…who's gone? What the hell?"

His amber eyes bored into mine and, for a moment he looked like he was concentrating. For some strange reason, I felt different, defenseless. I had no way of knowing if it was because I was in a relatively vulnerable position or if it was something else. Either way, I was definitely powerless, because a simple flick of his wrist made my head collide with the hard concrete ground and black out.

«-»

The first thing I became aware of when I woke up was the bothersome pain in the back of my head. Lost and dazed, I tried to recall what had happened, only to be interrupted by an awful pounding in my skull. I opened my eyes reluctantly, wincing at the discomfort I felt, before I finally realized that I was surrounded by evergreen trees.

I sat up slowly, holding my head like it would fall off at any moment, and I took a minute to find out where I was. The pain in my head started to fade until it was just a dull ache. I figured that it was automatically healing, like it always did, and it wasn't long before I was able to stand up, feeling like I'd just woken up from a good night of sleep. I was near the treaty line, I knew that much, but I didn't know why. Had the fucking leech brought me here? This was getting even more confusing! I remembered what he'd told me before I passed out. _He's gone…_

_Edward!_

Almost immediately, panic took hold of my body, as I finally understood the blonde man's words. I'd stupidly left my boyfriend in that bar, vulnerable and alone, and now he was most likely in danger. There was no one else the vampire could be referring to. Someone had taken Edward, surely against his will, and I had no way of knowing where he was. Worst of all, I was the one at fault. How could I have been so fucking careless?

I was almost hyperventilating; my lungs were struggling because of my very rational fears and my stomach was twisting with guilt. I had never experienced a panic attack, but I was damn sure I was about to have one. So many things were happening at once and on top of it all, I was still unable to phase. Knowing my location didn't calm me down, but convincing myself that I needed to find Edward as soon as possible forced me to snap out of it. Being carried by my emotions would be of no help.

I had to keep my mind void of any kind of pessimistic thoughts and start _thinking._

In all honesty, considering _who _had kidnapped Edward didn't seem like a good idea.

Taking a deep breath, I became aware of the heavy and sickeningly sweet scent that permeated the early morning air. I couldn't phase, but I could follow the scent and maybe find the leech.

A familiar smell tickled my nostrils and I turned around to see Alice running in my direction. She stopped abruptly before she could cross a line that she was not allowed to overpass, but the look in her eyes told me that she needed to speak to me and the distance between us was not convenient. I rushed to her side, noticing that she seemed even more anxious than I felt. During the time I was unconscious, the Cullens must have had some trouble with the Children of the Moon or perhaps they knew what had happened to their adoptive relative.

"I saw you," Alice whispered, visibly shaken up. "I had a vision of you! Jacob, where is my brother?"

Devastated, I told her everything I remembered, fighting the urge to cry with all my might. She listened to the report attentively, growing more panicked with each part of the story.

"Do you think it was your great-grandfather?" she questioned, obviously fearing my answer.

"Fuck, Alice! Of course it was him!" I cried. Just thinking about what Edward was possibly going through made the tears spill over.

"Oh, God…" she murmured, horrified. "You were planning on tracking the vampire that attacked you, weren't you?"

"Yeah, maybe he would give me some clues about Edward's whereabouts…"

"Don't. Go to our house. I'll follow the scent," she interrupted me.

"Alice…"

"Jacob, something terrible has happened." Her voice was pained. "And I'm not talking about Edward's disappearance. Please, just go. Tell the others what happened. They'll know what to do."

Although the new information worried me beyond words, I knew that my main purpose was to find Edward and bring him home. Alice's order had me panting like I was an ordinary human who had just ran a marathon, because my mind was divided. I could only trust myself in that moment; could I put such a big responsibility on her hands? Remembering who I was dealing with didn't exactly ease my worries, but rather reluctantly, I decided to do as she said, while she started running.

_It's not like I had a choice, anyways._

I chose to sprint, not wanting to waste the brief time I had, and I became aware of my body's limits. I didn't know I could run this fast in my human form, and the knowledge made me remember why I _had _to keep pushing my legs until they burned. As I got closer, my ears detected high-pitched screams that definitely came from Edward's house.

I stopped suddenly, petrified.

Never had _her _voice sounded so pained, so loud and so damn pleading, like someone was burning her alive. Bella's deafening cries shook me to the core, as my mind ran through the list of things that could have happened to her. I knew, despite my pathetic hopes, that my best friend's heart would stop beating within…hours, days? I honestly had no idea how long a vampire's transformation could last, but I did know that Bells was going through something so painful that it could only belong to the supernatural world. I desperately wished that something could be done to stop it, but I was sure it was too late now.

"Fuck!" I shouted, tugging my hair painfully. Hot drops slipped from my burning eyes as I struggled to keep calm.

Goddamnit, why? Why did all these fucking tragedies have to occur simultaneously? They shouldn't have occurred at all! Edward did not deserve this. Bella did not deserve this. Worst of all, we had no way of knowing how to solve these dilemmas. There was no hope for Bella; I just had faith that she would accept the change once the venom did all its evil work. Without a mate by her side, though, what did an immortal life have in store for her? What acceptable reason did she have to go on? I only hoped that she could get used to her future body and instincts. I knew enough to recognize that it would be difficult, but the Cullens would be there to help her and hopefully, give her hope.

But what about my love? I felt so fucking lost without him, already. How would we find him?

Ever since that monster had put his hands on him, our lives were thrown into some kind of sick game, one that we were ashamedly loosing. As I gave it some further thought, I had an epiphany of sorts.

How was it that all these enigmas were falling on our doorstep now? Before Edward was disgustingly violated, Children of the Moon and mysterious messages were out of our league.

All these events were doubtingly coincidences. Could Ephraim Black be obsessed to the point of creating such a meticulous plan? I had no way of knowing how that vile being could be connected to what had happened or how his possible arrangement worked, but I did know that we (the Cullens and _my _fucking pack) had to function in unison so we could make all the pieces fit and find out where my great-grandfather and the love of my life were.

My thoughts were interrupted by Bella's screaming, and I honestly felt awful for not doing anything. Saving Edward was my principal objective in that moment, but there was nothing I could do until Alice arrived. Shaking my head and wiping the few tears that had fallen, I started running again, cringing each time Bella's tortured pleas fell on my poor ears.

I had to be there for her. Wallowing in my own misery was not an option.

When I saw the Cullens' house in front of me, I didn't have time to move a single muscle before a rock-hard body ran into me, making me fall on my back _again._ I grimaced in pain before looking up. Rosalie had me pinned to the ground and the emotions that swam in her amber eyes as she stared at me made me recoil slightly. I had to confess that I feared for my safety for a minute, but she seemed to get a hold of herself after a while. She was still conflicted, I could see that, but at least she didn't look like she was about to kill me anymore.

"How could you have been neglectful?" she asked through gritted teeth.

Torn, I threw her a sad glance before trying to move her off me. "So, you already know," I concluded.

"I wasn't very far. I could hear you and Alice talking," she admitted, sitting beside me. "I told the others what happened. Jasper is needed here, as well as Carlisle and Esme, but Emmett is on his way to Seattle and he will try to track Edward's scent."

I was suddenly filled by hope as I considered how easy this could be, given that all Emmett would have to do was following his brother's odor.

"Don't look so happy, mutt," she sneered. "Do you actually think that it will be effortless? My husband will _try _to track Edward, but he's unlikely to find him. Unless Ephraim is taking my brother to a deserted place, Emmett will not be able to follow the right path. His scent will get mingled with the other humans'. In fact, it will probably fade with the oncoming rain."

Taken aback by her outburst and shattered by her words, I shut my eyes tightly and cursed mentally. I still believed that we would find my boyfriend, but I frankly didn't think it would happen in the near future. Our hard work would have to be relentless, but considering all the shit we probably had to figure out first, it would not be sufficient to save Edward soon enough.

Of all the places he could be right in that fucking second, where the hell was he?

My mental questioning was interrupted by Bella, whose screams had lost volume. Her voice was becoming raspy, but her sobs were very audible.

I wondered who had done this to her. I was fucking angry at the unknown leech that had attacked her, so much that I could feel my body shaking. My anger eclipsed my understandable surprise, so it wasn't long before I felt myself changing until I was in wolf form.

_My luck was so fucking ironic._

A loud crash that came from the house echoed in the air, startling both me and Rosalie, and not two seconds later, Edward's sister was in front of me. She looked up at me pleading, confusing me beyond words.

"You need to leave," she rushed out. "Your emotions are not in control. They're overwhelming Jasper; it's becoming unbearable for him." I did not move, so she continued. "We'll take care of Bella. Within two or three days the transformation will be over. Until then, stay away."

Her tone was demanding this time and although I fervently wished I could do something to ease Bella's suffering, I complied. Imagining my best friend writhing and crying out in pain for so long had me silently suffering, too, so I rushed to the Reservation as fast as I could, willing the horrific images to go away. I felt really selfish for not being there for her and not wanting to even _think _about her and what she was going through, but it was the only way I could get my shit together.

I had always been against her stupid decision to become one of _them_. Was this her fucking karma?

Either way, mulling over it was pointless, so I focused on something that was honestly more important to me than Bella's transformation. In my wolf form, my sense of smell was more acute. Therefore, I could easily detect the blonde leech's stench from a longer distance. On our land, it was fainter, which led me to the conclusion that the bloodsucker had stepped into Quileute territory and dropped me off there before running away in another direction (the direction that Alice was following). Meaning, if I went this way, I could reverse the vampire's journey and find out where he had come from, which might give me some clues about my boy's location.

I was too worried to know if that made sense or not. I just couldn't stay here and wait for a solution to come to my head.

I began to run in an instant, consumed by fear and panic and not the usual adrenaline I felt when I sprinted in wolf form. The longer I ran, the fainter the scent was, but not enough for me to lose track of it. I paid attention to every little sound, although I didn't let them disturb me. I could only hear the wind's rustling and the rushed movements of wild animals as they backed away from my fast approaching figure. My accurate hearing did not take notice of any sound out of ordinary.

It was like Mother Nature was against my strong will to find my love. Light drops of water had started to fall from the grey clouds that adorned the sky, and the wind had begun to misdirect the bloodsucker's stench. It was getting more and more difficult to follow the right path. My paws seemed to be oblivious to the apparently hard earth beneath them; they were not quite touching the floor, in fact. At least, it seemed like it. I only knew that I had never run so fast before.

Both Forks and La Push had long been left behind, I was sure of it, but I fervently continued running. At some point, the ground became flatter, as the change in height became gradually noticeable.

I was sprinting through familiar forests; these areas were definitely not foreign to me. As I passed each region, the sounds of the cities nearby were detected by my talented ears.

After a rather short period of time, I stopped, realizing that I'd just reached the wet Seattle woods. The direction I should take was still unknown to me. The scent would lead me to the west, where most of the city's habitants resided, which meant that this was where the leech had started his journey after capturing me. But something threw me off: the trail I was supposed to follow was not interrupted. Meaning, he had stopped his initial journey to come to me, but he had marked this spot and returned here.

This didn't seem like he was playing with me. This seemed like he was under orders and hadn't even bothered being careful enough. As I remembered his tortured expression, I realized that it made sense, to a certain extent.

I started running again, relentless and determined.

«-»

I didn't know how long it took me to get to Vancouver.

After I passed the Canadian border, I was a little afraid that the blonde bloodsucker had come from a really faraway place, but as I reached Vancouver, I realized that I wouldn't have to follow the scent anymore. It came from the city, which meant that I had to stop, because I didn't want to reveal my tribe's secret and I honestly was not keen on going around naked in a place full of people.

A familiar smell began to burn my nostrils, suddenly. With each passing second, it became stronger and I immediately recognized it as Alice's. It wasn't long before I saw her petite figure running in my direction. She was coming from where the strange leech had come as well. She seemed frustrated and disappointed when she saw me.

"It's just you," she sighed after sitting down on a big rock a few yards away from me. "I was ridiculously hoping it was Ephraim. Rosalie told me that you had run off under her command," she added softly. "You've been trying to find out where the vampire came from, I see."

I approached her small frame slowly while I concluded that she had bad news for me.

"He arrived here. He did what he had to do. He has already left," she informed bit by bit. "By airplane. There's a long list of places that he could have chosen as a destination. I checked the flights that departed recently."

I sat on the ground by her side. Her lips formed a small pout, giving away how sad she felt, and I fought back a growl of dissatisfaction. There was nothing we could do in that moment, but I was hoping that we could form a plan once we got back home.

"That monster must be in a plane, too, right now, and he probably has my brother with him." Her voice was strained.

I rested my head on my paws and whimpered.

I was so fucking worried about Edward. Was he being treated decently? Had Ephraim hurt him? Was he scared?

Well, that's a stupid question. Of course he was. He had been doing really well these past weeks, but I knew that he was afraid of even _thinking _about Ephraim. That man had really damaged him, but Ed had managed to block him for a while. But that was not _physically_ possible. There was nothing that he could have done to stop my great-grandfather from accomplishing his goal, and now he had to face his biggest fear. Wondering what he would possibly be subjected to had me silently crying. I could barely stand the thought of my love getting hurt.

I honestly didn't know what to do, but of one thing I was certain: once we had a solid plan, I wouldn't rest until I had Edward in my arms, safe and sound.


	18. Ethan

EPOV

The soft rumbling of an engine that I knew very well was the calm sound that I woke up to. One hundred pounds rested on top of my head, painfully weighing me down, as I desperately attempted to open my eyes. My poor stomach churned like a fevered man and my temple bumped lightly and occasionally against a smooth and cold surface, which I recognized as my car's window. Despite my discomfort, my body could feel the warmth that I needed so much in that moment. For a few seconds, I imagined that Jacob was the one engulfing me in his heat and not the soft fabric that covered my upper body.

I briefly recalled what had happened before I slipped into unconsciousness, too weak and emotionally deadened to panic like I was supposed to. Throwing a fit would be ridiculously futile – it was too late for that. My hands were literally tied, as were my feet, and the bothersome pounding inside my head was not exactly facilitating my train of thought. I felt like someone had flipped a switch inside me, like a part of my brain had become somewhat oblivious to what was going on. I _knew _what was happening, but the unwelcomed knowledge did not make my heart race like a cheetah or my mind drift to dark scenarios.

I was in my own world, apparently unaware of the danger I was most likely in. Beside me, there was no one – _no one _– and I was _not_ on my way to Hell. The world did not exist; only blackness did.

I refused to open my eyes, allowing my own breathing rhythm to lull me into a state of numbness (not a deep slumber, just numbness). Although this was the most depressing place my mind had ever travelled to, it was safe enough. Its hollowness was strangely comforting. No one would save me, but no one would hurt me either.

I could deal with that. Just for a while longer.

"Sleep. I'll wake you up once we get there."

His voice, surprisingly soft and quiet, seemed to echo in my little haven, shattering a piece of my imaginary shelter. As much as I didn't wish to think about it, I involuntarily wondered what would become of me. Where was he taking me? What would he do to me? For the love of God, I hoped he would not harm me in any way that could affect my son. Any innocent child should not be involved in such pandemonium. Evidently, Thomas was already a part of this; at least until March, he would be. But I desperately wished that something could be done before the date or that someone trustable could take care of him after I gave birth, at least.

_Better safe than sorry. _I hadn't exactly lost all hope, but plans needed to be made in order to prevent my child from having a miserable life.

_As miserable as mine was turning out to be._

Sighing dejectedly, I took _his_ advice and slowly fell asleep, expecting my nap to be void of pointless dreams and terrifying nightmares.

Much to my dismay, my brain only rested for an hour or so, and this time I was unable to keep my eyes shut when I woke up. My headache seemed to be a persistent reminder of the situation I was in, because it wouldn't go away, no matter how vehemently I wished it away. Although I was now fearful (more than I could actually put into words), I was also curious. For some reason, I was truly inquisitive about our destination, even though this sounded tremendously stupid to me. I was almost certain that the psycho who was driving my car would not let me do anything that could prejudice his obsessive plans, so knowing where I was going to would be of little to no use to me. He would get his way, just like he had that day in the woods.

I shuddered, suddenly _very_ aware of his presence. I felt sick to my stomach. _Honestly_.

Reluctantly swallowing the bile that rose in my throat, I pushed the memories away, like they were furnishings out of place in a fairly tidy room. They should be placed in the darkest corner, where they could not be seen. Of course, the ridiculousness of this thought was all but baffling, but I liked to imagine it was _that _simple. Even now, after fruitless attempts at forgetting that appalling afternoon, flashes of what he had done to me didn't cease their taunting.

I wanted to cry. I wanted to mourn over the loss of my freedom. I wanted to kill him and end this shit for once and for all. But instead, I bit my tongue and opened my tired eyelids, focusing on the passing landscape on the other side of the window. The highway was almost clear of vehicles, and the few that passed by were not driven by attentive conductors. Surely, none of them would notice the tied up teenager in the silver Volvo that blurred past them. What's more, my position didn't exactly make it easy to see my bound hands and my tear stricken face. My body was turned against the car door and a dark hood was covering a part of my features.

It was hard to believe that I was the one responsible for my current position.

Meaning, _he had touched me._

All the warmth that had somewhat comforted me until that moment dissipated like steam. Physically, my skin was as clean as last time I had showered, but I felt like viscous worms were crawling up my arms and leaving mud in their wake. Worst of all, I badly wished I could just scratch my skin until I bled, as long as the disgusting little creatures stopped pestering me. But I couldn't, and the realization almost brought me to tears. There were so many fucking things I should be crying about and yet, this _feeling _had me keeping my eyes wide open, because if I shut them, the water drops would certainly fall.

I felt…_lost and powerless_. Unquestionably, I had felt much worse in the past, but this was horridly suffocating. It was literally knowing that something was wrong (hideously so) and not being able to do anything about it – not like it was forbidden, but like it was physically _impossible_.

The sensation did not allow me to breathe properly. In all honesty, if I didn't know that Elizabeth Masen was six feet under, she would be the first person I would be calling for. Of course, a pitiful spectacle now would likely get me into more trouble, so I had to stamp my lips and gulp down the colossal lump in my throat.

I figured that not much time had passed since I left the bar. The lights were still out, and if my calculations were correct, I hadn't been unconscious for long. Certainly, the stimulation of my vagus nerve hadn't taken away my senses for more than half a minute or so, but that was enough time for…_him_ to use the small bottle that I could see from the corner of my eye. It was behind the gear shifter, hiding from prying gazes like a fucking coward. Every time we passed by a lamp post, I shifted my eyes quickly and tried to decipher the letters on the label. The content of the bottle was almost surely liquid, so I ran through the list of substances that could have put me to sleep. It could have been ether, but I soon noticed that the word on the sticky tag was too long and it ended with an 'M'.

_Chloroform. Never gets old._

The fucker could have caused some serious damage with that _shit_. Thankfully, he must have been meticulous with his dirty work and used a safe dose. I could guess that I'd only inhaled it, which according to my knowledge, had made me unconscious for…thirty minutes? One hour, perhaps?

I reckoned that I had been out for less than two hours.

Not knowing if we had made stops, I had no way of gathering all the places where we could be now, so I didn't bother thinking about it. It wouldn't make a difference, anyway. I was clearly at disadvantage here, thus my lack of hope. Despite being mentally ill, _Ephraim_ was anything but dense. I had seen and heard enough to deduce that he was nothing short of a twisted genius.

All these speculations were making my poor head feel like it would explode at any second, so I tried to distract myself by speaking.

"Where're we going?" I asked the first thing that came to mind. I could not deny that I was terribly afraid of hearing his voice again and I briefly wondered if it had been a bad idea to even open my mouth, but the mistake had already been made.

"Portland," he said quietly. "Portland International Airport."

The gentleness of his voice surprised me more than I would like to admit and it didn't scare me that much, contrary to what I'd expected.

His words, on the other hand, sent my brain into overdrive. Were we going to leave the country or simply travel to another state? Which way would be easier for my family and Jacob to find me?

"Listen…" he suddenly said in a soft voice. "You may think that you will never be happy again, but that's not true. You have my word."

"I don't want your word," I murmured.

His promise did not repulse me, despite the circumstances. From time to time, I had to remind myself that although my hate for him was justified, he couldn't exactly be blamed for his actions. I…hated him (or at least I thought I did), but he had been nothing but kind to me in the last few minutes.

And I could take advantage of that. I just didn't know how yet.

"What do you want?" he questioned, sounding genuinely curious.

"I want you to let me go," I replied without hesitation.

There was a moment of silence during which I wondered if I had crossed a prohibited line and stepped into dangerous territory. Thankfully, he answered after a few seconds, saddening me beyond words, but somehow putting me more at ease.

"That is something I cannot give you."

_He could. He fucking could. His will was just weak._

Exhausted and more than a little frustrated, I closed my eyes and sighed. I couldn't fall asleep, because his words had been carved into my mind; the echo of his voice inside my skull wouldn't let me shut down completely.

Once again, that revolting feeling of helplessness consumed me, but this time I let the tears flow.

Within my ribcage, all sorts of disasters were happening. My heart was being stabbed by a million needles, for the prospect of never seeing Jacob again bitterly painful. Right now, I couldn't bring myself to think about anything else – to think about _anyone_ else – and it hurt to imagine how he was doing. His long term disappearance worried me; to be frank, I had expected him to come back to me in less than a few miserly minutes. He was not supposed to take longer than that, unless he had gotten into serious trouble.

My thoughts took an alarming turn as I considered what could have happened to him. Out of the blue, I made the question that would finally upset Ephraim, without having time to reflect about the consequences of my inadvertency.

"Where's Jacob?"

As his name left my lips, a guttural growl was heard, and I recoiled immediately, all but shaking with fear.

"He is well," he rumbled. "The person I sent will not harm him…much."

"Much? Is he injured?"

"He will heal," Ephraim spat. "Now keep your mouth shut. I don't want to hear one more word about that _thing._"

_He's not a thing. He's the one I love, not you._

My retort was stuck in my throat, begging to come out, but I managed to contain myself. I didn't want to add gasoline to his already flaming rage.

Knowing that Jacob was hurt was making my entrails bend and curl. My worry for him didn't lessen, but another emotion inundated me. My hands were itching to be set free and kill the _thing _beside me. _How _dare_ he put my beloved in such a situation?_ He was obviously not aware of the fury that roamed my veins. I should be strangling him; I should make him pay for _everything. _These ropes around my wrists didn't allow me to do much, but I suddenly felt like it didn't matter what I could or not do. I was reaching my limit, and at this point, consequences were a foreign concept to me.

I turned in my seat and faced the flat road in front of me.

Growling warningly, I let the rage take hold of my muscles, and in an instant, my body shifted in the psycho's direction, ready to strike.

I didn't know where I hit him first; I just knew that my bounded wrists were moving in inevitable unison while my cold fists struck his hard body with all the strength I had managed to muster. I forgot about his own force, his burning skin and what he was capable of. I forgot who I was and _what _I was, as a way of reversing all the pain and fear he had caused me into scorching anger and blinding hate. Between shoves and punches, I was unable to register his own hand on my skin until it was too late.

The screams woke me up from my frenzy. At first, they were mere echoes that sounded just too distant, but they slowly became louder and realer. The time it took me to realize that they were coming from my raw throat was ephemeral, but the screaming lasted for a longer while, only ceasing when I finally felt his hot and hurtful fingers wrapping around my arm.

The fear kicked in again while I uselessly attempted to get free.

"Do you want us to have an accident?" he roared. "Do you want to die?" When I didn't answer, he shook me roughly. "Do you?"

_Blistering hands grab my thighs. _

_Soreness._

"_This is going to hurt a little."_

_Pain._

_Agony._

"_Why are you doing this to me?"_

"_Because you're mine."_

"Answer me!"

"Let go!" I gasped.

"Answer the question!" he pressed.

"Damn you!" I screamed. "No, I don't want to die. I don't want to have an accident. Let go, please!"

At last, my forearm was released, but the damage had already been done. I was certain that a hideous bruise was forming on my arm, but truth be told I'd rather be covered in shapeless contusions than be hurting so much inside.

Reality was harsh. That's why my whole frame was being rocked by loud hiccups. At times, everything that I bottled up inside because I was afraid of admitting my weaknesses, resurfaced like this. It's always been this way and I highly doubted that it would change some day.

If I opened my eyes and saw beauty and joy all around me, I would be bursting with happiness.

My actual situation was very different from that scenario, but very much alike, at the same time.

That brief moment between fleeting innocence and enduring peacefulness could only be defined as an emotional phenomenon. It could be good or bad, depending on the situation. It was the moment when you finally realized what was waiting for you, what kind of life you would lead. Whether you liked it or not, the intensity of your feelings would increase severely (almost impossibly) and it would only decrease once those emotions became part of your daily routine.

_Now _was that moment. I had opened my eyes and seen a shitty future ahead of me, instead of clouds and sunshine.

And just like that, I crumbled.

My chest heaved up and down in a frenetic and irregular rhythm, due to my too sudden and sharp intakes of oxygen. Three curt inhales would only let me exhale a small portion of air right after. This was the type of crying that was excessively genuine – the type of crying that held your poor heart in a vice-like grip and made your shoulders rise and fall like someone was lifting and dropping them continuously.

_Jacob… Thomas…Family…Will never see again…_

_Prison…Purgatory…Freedom no more…_

_Rape…Was raped…Will be raped…_

"_Please, stop…"_

"_So tight. So fucking tight…"_

"_Please, no more. No more…"_

_Jake…_

"_Breathe!"_

With a loud gasp, I came back to reality. My eyes struggled to regain focus and, as I looked down at my hands, I noticed that their blurry shape was shaking. Although I felt terribly sick, I forced myself to raise my gaze and _stop._

I did not shift my eyes and I did not move. So very slowly, my bodily functions reverted to their normal state, but until then I didn't budge.

Only when my eyelids began burning did I lean against the car door again, utterly exhausted.

Curling my hands into fists, I carelessly threw a warning at _him_. "Don't ever do that again."

My rough and low voice sounded satisfyingly threatening, like I was actually strong enough to defeat him if he so much as touched me with his smallest finger. In truth, though, I couldn't stay awake with the intent of being on alert. I couldn't stay awake at all, in fact.

I merely hoped that he had taken heed of my warning.

And that, one day, said warning could become as real as what I was living through.

«-»

When icily cold fingers touched my hand gently, my eyes opened automatically and, for a moment, I honestly thought that I was being saved. A small knife was being used to cut the ropes around my wrists, but the feminine hand that held it was in no way familiar (not that I had the bizarre habit of observing people's hands). Truly curious, I raised my head to see an obviously immortal woman sitting on the driver's seat.

Her chin-length brown hair framed her sharp features beautifully and her honey-colored eyes drew any straight man in. Seeing as I was accustomed to the presence of vampires, it was understandable that I had almost failed to notice the sweet scent she emanated. She must have been in her early twenties when she was changed, but her wise gaze told me that she had been this way for a really long time.

"You're Edward, I assume," she said. Her voice was womanly deep, fitting her entire image perfectly. "I'd like to say that it is a pleasure to meet you, but that's not true."

Her tone of disdain reminded me of Rosalie and her constant moodiness.

"Nice," I rasped.

Although she had already gotten on my nerves, I had to thank her for releasing my hands. The tender skin on my wrists was red, so I gently rubbed it with my thumbs, trying to ease the soreness.

"Before you ask, no, I am not here to save you. Ephraim went to buy food, so I'm just keeping an eye on you."

Her answer to my unasked question did not surprise me. It was unlikely that a stranger would help me for no apparent reason.

"Do you work for him or something?" I inquired while she bent down to cut the cords around my ankles.

"No," she whispered sullenly. "But Myles does."

I raised an eyebrow in question.

"My mate," she clarified. "I agreed to join the plan because of him."

"Plan…" I scoffed.

This whole ordeal seemed ludicrous. To be honest, I firmly believed that the attention I got from Ephraim wasn't justified. I could be the devil's son, for all he knew. Nothing guaranteed him that my presence would be pleasant, despite the irrational adoration he had for me.

He had resorted to extreme measures to capture me. The Children of the Moon, an almost extinct species, were proof of that. How he had managed to multiply their kind and why he was using them were questions that I couldn't find the answer to.

Also, he was paying _vampires _to follow his instructions.

_Wait a minute…_

"Your mate is being _paid_?" I all but screeched.

The woman tightened her lips. I couldn't quite decipher what she was feeling, but I could guess my assumption was correct. My brief amusement couldn't exactly be hidden and that was probably why she looked ready to bury herself.

"What? Don't tell me he cannot afford food. Or maybe he wants to buy a Ferrari, even though he's faster than a car. Couldn't he do something else for a_ living_? Perhaps he's too dense to get a decent job," I chuckled.

"How's your _daddy _so much better?" she growled. "Your own ridiculousness surpasses that of a vampire in need of money. Rumor is that you used to go to _school_."

I inhaled sharply. "Rumor?"

_How much did these people know about me?_

"Myles told me," she sneered. "He said your sire is a doctor. He works for _humans_."

"Yes," I confirmed. "But I can see you have copied his way of life. You should at least give him some credit."

Sincerely, I couldn't fathom my exact reasons for provoking the vampire, but I found that I did not feel as powerless and scared when I talked to her like that.

"I do not pretend to be harmless and kind," she retorted.

"Neither does he," I stated. "He _is_ kind and he has great self-control. And what he does is not simply a way of getting money. His true intention is to help people, something that neither you nor your mate is willing to do."

"Oh," she mockingly grimaced. "Don't tell me we are going to Hell for that."

"That's not my business, _stranger_. I just think that you could do something _useful_, instead of following the orders of a sick and obsessed bastard."

Just as I finished talking, I was startled by the sound of a car door opening next to me. I turned around swiftly, momentarily forgetting about the woman in the driver's seat and the dull throbbing in my head.

"Sick and obsessed bastard?"

All the air left my lungs as I took in his dark appearance. I couldn't quite decipher his expression, because I honestly wasn't keen on staring at his face for too long. Certainly, not much time had passed since my outburst and that was one of the reasons why I could not bring myself to try to get accustomed to his presence.

"Oh, thank God," I heard the woman sigh. "Feed the redhead. I'm ready to leave this place."

"Since when do you give orders, Elaine?"

His gaze did not leave my trembling frame, although his question was directed at the vampire behind me. Elaine did not answer, Ephraim did not move and I avoided his stare. All in all, it was a very awkward situation, but I could not care less. I would very much rather be red as a tomato than so afraid.

The brown bag of food in Ephraim's hand was calling my name in a soft murmur and I could not tear my eyes away from it. It'd been a while since I'd last eaten and my stomach was all but growling. If I just asked, would he be _decent _enough to give it to me?

I honestly doubted he would, hence my fear of speaking.

As I looked around, I noticed that we were near civilization. In fact, we had already reached our destination. Portland International Airport was just on the other side of the road, looking emptier than it should be and yet, I viewed it as my refuge. A public scandal, an unpredicted phone call or even a goddamn exit could be my salvation. I hadn't memorized Jacob or any of my relatives' phone number, but calling 911 and summing up a story that could easily get my captor in trouble didn't seem such a bad idea.

The consequences of this kind of rising scared me more than I was willing to admit, however.

The 'I need to go to the bathroom' trick didn't seem very effective either. Perhaps I only needed to distance myself in a way that neither of them could detect my absence.

But for that, they needed to be stupid.

"Come on." Ephraim tilted his head towards the airport.

Taking a deep breath, I stood up slowly, knowing that my head would not be too happy if I did quick movements. I was also feeling rather faint; I was certain that it wouldn't be long before I finally collapsed, or maybe I would simply blow up. Either way, I was sure that I wouldn't stand this for much longer. I was all but seeing the world through a red haze and yet, I was still intent on finding a way to escape.

Perhaps this was the lucky minute of my tremendously terrible day.

There were a few people who were also leaving their vehicles, ready to cross the street.

_Scream!_

I tried to.

I tried to call for help, but as soon as my lips parted, Ephraim's repulsive mouth collided with mine and his arms circled my upper body. Instinctively, I tried to push him away, but my strength could not compete with his. His touch sent shivers down my spine – paralyzing shivers that warned me of the danger I was in. Once more, images of the traumatizing evening when he had seriously hurt me assaulted my mind while I desperately attempted to shrink away from him.

Through water-filled eyes, I saw a man shaking his head at us, disgust painting his wrinkled face. Yet again, I tried to push Ephraim away, only this time I was intent on making the stranger see that I was in need of help. When his eyes met mine, I sent him a tacit and pleading message, but all I got was another shake of his head before he turned his back on me and walked away.

He just…walked away.

He could have been my salvation. If he had so much as carefully addressed my situation, my future could have taken the right turn. Why did he fucking turn his back on me? Why didn't he forget about his goddamn prejudices and _saved _me? The selfish bastard wouldn't have broken a bitch of a nail if he had just acknowledged me – if he had just shouted at the rapist who walked beside me to stop touching my body.

I was damned because of him – because of his motherfucking egoism.

I hated that man. I hated him so much that I wished his mistake was so heavy on his mind that he would not be able to sleep tonight. And as I watched him drive away, the only thing I could think of was what I had lost because of him.

When a heavy arm tightened its hold on me, I was roughly pulled away from the angry stupor I was in. Gone were the livid thoughts that had consumed my mind for a few seconds. Now, I was absolutely terrified, because Ephraim didn't look happy – at all.

"I know what you just tried to do," he said, not even casting me a look. "And you won't do it again."

I nodded silently, though I wasn't entirely focused on his words. Elaine was walking beside me and her hands were holding two wheel bags. The fact that everything had been so meticulously thought about – that nothing seemed to be missing from Ephraim's obsessive plan – frightened me immensely. I didn't own the hoodie I was wearing and I'd lost track of my leather jacket, as well as my ID and mobile phone. Had he actually packed my belongings?

"What's in those bags?" I asked. My voice sounded too small, even to my own ears.

"All you need, sweetheart." He glanced at me with kind eyes.

His mood swings were unsettling; in fact, every single thing about him was.

Shaking my head, I looked forward and raised my chin. It was my way of compressing all the dreadful feelings inside. There was a bothersome lump in my throat, telling me I needed to let it out, but I refused to acknowledge it. My gaze followed the dark clouds that partly hid the round figure that beautified the starless sky above.

"I actually hoped we wouldn't have to go through this again," he said. "But I see you're still planning on leaving me."

The focus of my eyes moved in his direction as I lowered my chin a little.

"Your careless attempts can lead to catastrophic consequences. Anything you do that can possibly draw attention will cause the death of an innocent being. Elaine will not hesitate, specially now. She misses human blood," he explained.

"I'll start with the younger ones," she informed. "Their mothers are the next on the list."

"Tragic, I know. Only you can prevent something so horrible from happening," he added.

The lump in my throat enlarged, but no tears were shed. Atrocious scenarios flashed in my head endlessly and my heart constricted at each one of them.

Knowing how serious he was, I couldn't bring myself to contradict his will, so I simply nodded.

«-»

"Is there even a destination in mind?" I muttered to myself.

It had been a long and tiring flight, which had led us three to a rather unlikely place. I wouldn't have guessed what it was even if I'd tried.

We were crossing the Brooklyn Bridge.

From all the places we could have travelled to, we had ended up in New York City. Ephraim's choices stopped baffling me when we landed. _Of course_ we had to land here. There was a multitude of possible victims all around us and his blackmailing game had yet to prove itself useless. When it did, his employee would probably begin slicing people's throats, while he incessantly chased my ass.

Well, that's a terrifying way of putting it.

Ephraim seemed disgustingly satisfied. That had to mean that everything was going as he had initially planned. In no way had I perturbed him and thanks to my 'good behavior', we were now driving across the country's most populous city. The flight had been overall uneventful; I'd slept soundly, while my captors kept an eye on me.

I wasn't taking any risks and although I firmly believed I was making the right choice, I still wished I could find a way to run off.

Or a way to break the driver's nose.

I could do it if I tried. He was just as human as I was, though he was definitely stronger than me.

I glared at the back of his shaved head as my hands curled into fists inside the pockets of my hoodie. He hadn't changed in the slightest bit since I'd last seen him. Only now his name was different, and so was his part in Ephraim's plan. It was clear that the notebook he'd stolen had been a mere distraction; it'd been his way of contributing to his boss's arrangement. Suddenly, the series of bizarre occurrences that had taken place during the last few months didn't seem so relevant. The Children of the Moon hadn't been sent to kill anyone and there was no message behind the French poems that I'd received. Were Ephraim not the main subject of my nightmares, I would applaud him. His obvious intention had been to play with my family and the wolves, as well as leave me oblivious. He'd been so successful that I couldn't even bring myself to dwell on my foolishness. I was just too astonished.

Myles was the driver's real name. It'd been somewhat stupid of me to assume that Elaine's mate was a vampire. She hadn't said otherwise, but knowing what I did about relationships between humans and supernatural creatures, I shouldn't have immediately supposed that Myles was immortal. Still, there was no way I could have guessed _who_ he really was.

I'd been _almost _sure that _Oliver Khan_ was lying. I hadn't spoken out; I honestly didn't know why (perhaps I'd doubted myself). Now, I knew the truth, but it didn't make me feel any better, which was understandable, taking my situation into account.

I was curious, really. How many people worked for Ephraim? Myles and his lover were only two of them. The Children of the Moon represented a part of his 'staff' and someone else had been sent to hurt Jacob.

I had to make sure this nameless fucker died of food poisoning, regardless of the extent of my wolf's injuries.

I killed me that I had no way of knowing neither how nor where he was.

_Fuck this. I need to know._

"Is Jacob very much hurt?" I questioned with a hoarse voice.

At this, Ephraim's finger dug into my shoulder, while I shut my eyes tightly.

"Stop it," I pleaded. "You're hurting me."

"_So tight… So fucking tight."_

Almost instantly, he eased the pressure on my shoulder and I opened my eyes with a low gasp.

These hideous flashbacks just refused to cease their pestering.

As Ephraim took a silver cell phone out of the front pocket of his jeans, I tried to put some distance between us. The beginning of the ride had been marked by his physical approach, which had me panicking and thinking of ways to kill him right on the spot. The feeling of his heavy arm around my shoulders was all types of disturbing and my body was not failing to respond to the dark images in my head. I honestly didn't know how much longer I could suppress my nausea.

Suddenly, throwing up on the monster's expensive suit didn't seem like such a bad idea.

"Ephraim," Elaine called just as he put the phone to his ear. He only raised his gaze in response. "Maybe we should stop. Edward looks a little green."

"He's fine. We'll stop at lunchtime," he said.

"Don't say I didn't warn you."

"Ethan," he greeted the person on the other end of the line.

_Ethan? So, he does exist…_

"There's someone who wants to speak with you." With that, he handed me the phone. I took it with a shaky hand, confused as to why he was doing this. Even so, I brought the small device to my ear, for I wished to know who Ethan Nelson really was and what he had to do with Ephraim's arrangement.

I cleared my throat before speaking. "Hello?"

"_Edward?_" a smooth voice replied. "_Is that you?_"

"Yes," I answered confusedly. According to Oliv…_Myles_' description, Ethan had an ordinary appearance that certainly belonged to a human. Living with six vampires and listening to them bicker back and forth every day had given me the ability to recognize an inhuman voice when I heard one.

"_I've heard a quite a lot about you,_" he chuckled. "_I'm Ethan, Ephraim's right arm._"

"That's great to know," I remarked sarcastically.

_Right fucking arm…_

Suddenly, I remembered that I was looking for answers, especially regarding Jacob's condition, so I started shooting.

"Where's Jacob?"

"_I left him near the treaty line, so…_"

"So _you _were the one who hurt him, you…"

"_Jacob is alright_."

That was good news, but I needed more information. Breathing was much easier now that I knew that my wolf was _alright. _Nevertheless, I was still concerned. The thought of my Jacob being in pain left a bitter taste in my mouth and an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach, but it was even worse not being able to do anything to aid him and ease his fears in case he was scared. He most likely was. If roles were reversed, I would be petrified. I cared about his wellbeing more than anyone could ever imagine; losing him so abruptly to such a harmful enemy would shatter me. But he was not like that. He would fight for me – the knowledge gave me some hope, but I sincerely hoped he didn't forget about his own welfare.

"Really?" I questioned, seeing as I was still somewhat unsure.

"_Yes, really. He…hit his head and fell unconscious, but he must have already healed._"

Worry consumed me yet again. "Must?" I almost shouted.

"_I can assure you that your family will find him. That is, if they haven't already._"

"I don't care! You hurt his _head_!"

"_Not hard enough to cause any serious damage. Please, calm down._"

"You're lying! If it wasn't serious, he would have healed immediately and then he would've killed you, you bastard!"

My heart was practically attacking my ribs. I failed to understand how I could be naïve enough to believe that Jake was fine.

"_Just let me explain,_" he pleaded.

"Explain, then," I spit.

"_I have a gift and thanks to it, your sister, Alice, probably saw what happened to him and Jacob only healed after I was gone. Edward, he's okay. You have to trust me."_

Trusting him now was out of question. I didn't even know him. Nonetheless, if he really was as nice as he came across, I could give him a chance in the future. Perhaps he could be my free pass to freedom, regardless of how strange that sounded. Ethan's explanation was decent enough, but I was still slightly wary. His gift, whatever it was, seemed rather peculiar. The way he spoke gave me the impression that his power was the kind that was sought after by the leaders of the vampire world.

"Not yet," was my simple reply.

"_I understand,_" he sighed. "_I'm looking forward to meet you in person._"

"How soon will that happen?"

"_Very soon, Edward. I beg you not to kill me,_" he half-joked.

"Say goodbye," Ephraim whispered suddenly.

"I have to hang up," I said, sounding more dejected than I intended to.

I didn't want to finish the conversation. I didn't even know this man, but talking to him had given me a sense of self safety that had been completely taken away from me last night. Indisputably, said sense hadn't been entirely returned, but I was definitely calmer now.

"_I'll see you soon_," he said. "_Just…Stay strong_."

The line went dead, then, while his words spun around my head.

I'd try to be strong. For Thomas, my little angel, and for Jacob, too.

It wasn't like I had a choice, anyway.

**A/N: I am terribly sorry for taking so long, but **_**terrifying **_**technical problems got in my way. So, you got two chapters in a short period of time and I hope you have enjoyed reading them. See ya whenever, **_**amigos**_**! **


	19. Boss

**A.N.: A cow somewhere must have coughed, or maybe a saint fell from the altar, because **_**hey **_**here I am! Already fifteen, in secondary school and only now posting four thousand miserly words that cannot compensate for the time I've spent looking at the walls. Send me some hate – I deserve it. Alright, you might want a bucket next to you to read this chapter, because there's some disgustingly intense stuff in it. Yes, people, this is Ephraim's mind.**

**Oh, note: AS A LUSITAN FEMALE, I DECLARE THAT I SHALL NEVER LEAVE MY STORIES UNFINISHED! WE SHALL NEVER GIVE UP.**

**Enough with the patriotism… I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: Twilight is Stephenie Meyer's, not mine.**

**/ **

"I don't think this is a good idea."

Ephraim was distracted by the voice of his employee. Frustrated, he suppressed a growl; the image of his sweet boy had kept him entertained until now. Only Myles – just one of the most irritating people that he had ever met – could be brave enough to shatter such a happy moment. The man should thank the Heavens for being inside a plane full of innocent humans. Were they not flying across the ocean, the shape-shifter would certainly make him pay for that.

"We've talked about this before," he grumbled. "There is no reason for you to be worried. Limit yourself to doing your job."

This was not the first time that Myles fretted over Ephraim's plan. Apparently, the human failed to understand how well the arrangement was bound to work. The location that the shifter had chosen was simply ideal, but Myles refused to agree with him.

"It's too close…"

"Exactly," Ephraim interrupted him. "I know what I'm doing, Bailey. Anthony's _family _will never guess where we are."

He knew that wasn't what Myles was worried about. The famous Volturi were supposed to be taken into account, since they were not known for their benevolence. If they happened to hear of the existence of an Incubus, Edward's life would be brought to an end. Ephraim knew this, but he also knew that the Italian leeches were not as wise as they came across. Their fear of exposure prevented them from investigating the unknown; therefore, the shifter and his employees, along with his beloved, were not in danger.

Myles gave him a wary look before shifting his attention to his laptop.

Ephraim's head moved in the direction of the sleeping boy who occupied one of the airplane's middle row seats and, almost immediately, a smile flourished across his face. It seemed like five or more centuries had passed since that day, when he'd been enveloped by Edward's narrow channel. He'd dreamed of touching the boy for years; the memory of the conflicted golden eyes that had bored into his when they had met had chased him relentlessly until he finally decided to pay him a visit.

And what a visit it was… That day would forever be engraved in his mind.

The image of his imprint's breathtaking face contorted with fear had him shifting in his seat, while electricity traveled through his veins. He wanted to think that Edward's happiness was his drug – that he only wanted what was best for him – but his brain said otherwise. From time to time, he admitted to himself that there was no greater joy than hearing the boy's cries and seeing his white skin redden beneath his rough touch. Edward could make pain look beautiful; he could make it look like the most magnificent sight ever known to man. Purple and blue contrasted against his paleness in the most perfect way and the agony that swam in his eyes only enticed the shape-shifter.

Ephraim hadn't ever put his urge to hurt Edward into words. Really, he didn't want to seem like the bad guy.

Only an aisle separated him from the redhead and he wondered for how much longer he could keep his hands to himself. His mouth watered at the thought of plunging his member into his sweet boy's ass yet again. The adrenaline that followed the flow of his blood when Edward fought against him in vain was more gratifying than anything he'd ever felt before. It was pleasure in its rawest form. His muscles were begging to be used – to move towards the boy and take him right on the spot – and though he desperately attempted to convince himself that he wished to see Edward's green eyes shining with ecstasy, a taunting voice in his head whispered that he hungered for the complete opposite. The mere sight of the redhead's _peaceful_ face made his blood boil. Having him so close – knowing that he would be his and only his until their hearts stopped beating – eased the pressure on his chest, but a much more significant matter pleaded for his attention.

Something was out of place and Ephraim was certain that it was Edward's serene expression.

Edward's torment made it easier for the shape-shifter to sleep at night. It made it easier for him to feel in control and walk erectly. Much to his dismay, there was no way he could travel with the boy without pretending to yearn for happiness.

Ephraim lusted for _more. _He longed to claim the redhead _against _his will. There was no denying that the experience would be much more enjoyable that way and ignoring his wishes now seemed like an impossible task. Sometimes, he forgot that desire was far more important than love.

Sighing, the shape-shifter placed his elbows on his knees and covered his mouth with the palm of his hand. Edward still seemed to be under the impression that Ephraim was completely sure of himself. He knew the boy was perceptive; even without his mind-reading gift, he could detect people's weaknesses very easily. But the recent series of events had taken its toll on the redhead and consequently, he hadn't noticed Ephraim's distress. The shape-shifter's head was a dark maze – there were so many paths he could follow, but only one would take him to the right place. Sometimes, his train of thought took dangerous turns, making him wonder if he should put an end to his own life.

Or an end to Edward's life, instead.

But then there would be no power, no control…no fire. Then, the need to feel stronger would disappear. He took pleasure in knowing that Edward was at his mercy – that he was powerful enough to possess such an exquisite creature. Many predators had the need to victimize the foolish and the weak; Ephraim, on the other hand, had the need to bring down his natural enemy – to claim the bloodsucker that he'd imprinted on and turn him into a prey.

There was no grander victory than seeing Edward's body shake with fear – than seeing the boy's eyes dancing with panic at the thought of being touched by the shape-shifter. It was such a heartwarming victory, yes, and Ephraim was very much addicted to this game. Edward's moods shifted in speed of light – one minute he would look terrified, the next he would be ready to murder whoever stepped in front of him. Ephraim would destroy the boy's confidence and triumph would seep into his bones; then, he would wait for his imprint to recover and the game would restart.

And the wolf hoped that it would never end.

"I plan on leaving," Myles said suddenly. Ephraim decided that it wouldn't hurt to give his employee a piece of his attention, so he turned to look at him. "After this, Elaine and I will go somewhere remote…"

"Where she can change you," the shape-shifter deduced.

"Yes. I thought you should know."

Ephraim only grunted in response. This bit of information did not sadden him in the least. Myles was a loyal worker, but he doubted his boss's intelligence more often than he should and Ephraim absolutely despised the man's mate. Despite being very useful, Elaine was arrogant, disobedient and she had an excessively long tongue. At times, Ephraim actually feared someone would find out about his plan because of her, though he tended to believe that her love for Myles prevented her from rebelling against him.

"And when will you leave exactly?"

"As soon as we land…"

"No," Ephraim interrupted him. "You can go _after_ we arrive at the house."

The wolf paid no mind to the glare that Myles gave him. He knew that the idea of being within a short distance to the city where the leaders of the vampire world resided terrified the human, but he couldn't let any of his staff leave before everything was settled.

"Are you sure the kid won't give us trouble?" Myles tilted his head in Edward's direction.

"Bailey, you're here for a reason."

Edward _would _give them trouble. That was why Ephraim needed Myles for a while longer. The likelihood of the boy trying to escape and succeeding was high, so having his employees nearby was essential.

Having Ethan nearby was essential.

Ephraim knew of many bloodsuckers that possessed remarkable abilities. Edward's had caused him a lot of trouble, but Ethan's power, on the other hand, was of great use to him. The shape-shifter had experienced firsthand the effects of the leech's gift. At first, he hadn't even taken notice of the change that his body was being subjected to, but he had soon realized that all of his supernatural abilities had vanished. Ethan's power was completely physical – a characteristic that was both frightening and enthralling. From what Ephraim had heard, the Volturi twins had the infallible capacity to _delude _one's brain without the victim being aware of it, and that was why most bloodsuckers deemed them invincible. In the wolf's eyes, their 'perfect' gifts couldn't beat the greatness of Ethan's special ability.

He often wondered how the vampire felt… He knew that, were he in his right hand's place, he wouldn't hesitate in putting his peculiar talent to use and get what – who – he wanted in a mere flash. He could just imagine… He would be feared; he would _know _that he was feared. By everyone. Could anything else be more gratifying than that?

Edward's pain, most likely.

But he knew that, in spite of his contemplations, that was not how Ethan felt about his gift, mostly because the blonde leech was a fool – the biggest fool out there. His belief in _'true love', 'the thick line that separated good from evil' _and _'moral and values' _was all but nauseating. These were all meaningless terms that, despite their ridiculousness, seemed to control the lives of many people around him.

That was how he came to a startling realization.

Ephraim felt like his stomach had dropped, all of a sudden. How absolutely idiotic of him it had been to allow Edward to exchange so many words with Ethan! His right hand was a fool, but the redheaded boy certainly wasn't…

He thought worriedly, as he casted a glance at the sleeping figure next to him, that he'd made a big mistake and the only way to stop what he obviously considered a tragedy from happening was to make sure that Edward never talked to the blonde vampire again.

Or else his plan would surely go down the toilet.

«-»

It was a little after midnight in Italy when they landed in Rome.

The sky was obscured by fog and it was reasonably windy for an October night. Ephraim's high body temperature didn't fool him – he was well aware that the air was just a bit cool. Neither Miles nor Edward seemed affected by the weather, so the shape-shifter deduced that it was actually pleasant, compared to the cold climate of New York City. Edward appeared to be uncomfortable – well, he probably felt much worse than _uncomfortable _– and Ephraim forced himself to suppress an appreciative remark. A cheerful attitude and a happy smile were neither expected nor desired.

As they walked en route for the black Jaguar that awaited them outside the airport, Ephraim's burly arm snaked around Edward's tense shoulders. The redhead attempted to move away, but the shape-shifter tightened his grip, preventing his imprint from escaping.

Ephraim felt his insides become lighter, as if something almost unbearably heavy had vanished, as if he was almost at the final point of his journey. Perhaps it was the Jaguar, which was not very far from Edward; he was nearly sure that nothing could stop the two of them from being together for as long as the boy lived. The car was but a symbol in that moment. Edward would get in and he would have no chance of breaking away once he was inside the automobile. Ephraim reluctantly questioned himself: had he been afraid before? Had he been afraid of failing? _Well, of course_, he thought. He still had to get in contact with his right hand, or else the fear – the bone-chilling fear – of losing Edward would control his every action until something truly dreadful happened.

The short distance to the airport bothered him, somehow. Behind him was the place that represented Edward's exit. He chose not to look back, then, and he also decided that they would stop at an abandoned warehouse nearby, so he could call Ethan and make sure that he stayed away. He would be the one driving, this time, and his imprint would occupy the passenger seat of his beloved car. It was the idea of being so close to the boy that pushed him forward. It was the knowledge that in a mere second, he could reach out and have a confirmation that he was not alone, by feeling his imprint's trepidation.

It was the view of the boy's countenance that reminded him of the endless power that coursed through the werewolf's veins. Edward had noticeably changed since Ephraim had left him in the woods, but many things about him were very recognizable: the cat-like shape of his eyes, the delicate bow of his upper lip, the straightness of his nose, and even the length of his dark eyelashes. His features were still angular, though they weren't as sharp as before, and he still moved with the grace of a lithe feline. It seemed childish, thinking that it would be a lot of fun playing with Edward. It was his ambiguity, his subtle dangerousness and his visible fragility, that awakened the werewolf's senses like a shower of frigid water and inundated his mind with dark fantasies.

Rome hadn't undergone any alterations since Ephraim had last been there. He took the liberty of driving through the city, burning minutes that could be essential, just to give Edward the opportunity of seeing the beauty of the outside world. This would be his last time and the werewolf was not cruel enough to steal from his imprint the chance to gaze at the monumental and sumptuous sights of Rome before locking him up like the prisoner he was bound to be – Ephraim's prisoner. However, when he saw the uninterested look in Edward's green eyes, shadowed by a discernible sadness, the shape-shifter made the immediate decision to turn in the direction of the warehouse. Frankly, his imprint's sulkiness was getting on his nerves and it was taking every bit of his self-control not to smash the boy's head against the windshield.

If it weren't for the certainty that he could use Edward's body however it pleased him, Ephraim would most surely lose his cool and release his tension by using his fists.

The abandoned warehouse was not a memorable sight. Ivy climbed the outside walls until it reached the roof and the few windows of the decaying depot seemed to have suffered years of vandalization. The space that surrounded it was replete with neglected vegetation that grew in every form and in every direction. Ephraim parked the car in front of the rusty gate and with a deep breath, he moved his gaze to his imprint's pale face.

"Bailey," he called lowly. "Take him for a walk. Elaine, go with them. This will only take ten minutes."

He looked away when Edward squinted.

After mumbling a respectful 'Yes', Miles assumed the role of a well-mannered employee, which wasn't usual of him, and quickly got out of the car to open the door for Edward, who still had his eyes narrowed.

"What?" Ephraim questioned impatiently. Again, the cheerful idea of letting his fury break free and wipe away the small smirk that painted his imprint's expression got into his head. It seemed like he was only now discovering the scariest parts of the boy's personality and he was more than a little wary.

His imprint didn't answer him. Instead, he shook his head, green eyes sentencing him for stupidity, perhaps, as if Ephraim was the one in a tight situation, and he left the car in a brusque movement. The three walked away in a hurry, courtesy of Miles' desire to get away from his boss as soon as possible, and when they were out of his view, Ephraim took his phone out of his suit jacket inside pocket. He hoped Ethan wouldn't present any objections. He had enough on his plate, now that Edward started to reveal the side of him that he would rather not meet. Honestly, breathing had begun to feel like an extremely hard task due to the extra time that it was taking him to get to his destination. He couldn't wait to get this over with.

"Ephraim." The concern in the vampire's voice was evident. "Is something of the matter?"

"I need you to stay away," the shape-shifter said curtly. "From the house, I mean. Edward can't see you. He can't talk to you. Your presence will make him uneasy."

There was a moment of silence before Ethan spoke again. "Why?" he asked sadly.

Ephraim released a dramatic sigh. "Well, you're simply too much alike the man who hurt him. Physically, of course. You must understand, Ethan: I can't stand seeing him upset."

He prepared himself for the kind of answer that would prove to him that his right hand had eaten it up. Ethan was much too considerate, much too submissive, to go against his orders, because – _Christ – _it was Edward's emotional wellbeing on the line. A rape victim, whose attacker was viewed as a monster. The vampire knew how deeply Ephraim loved that kid – the kid who was fragile and different and easy to feel protective of. Ephraim would do everything in his power to prevent any harm from coming to the boy. And Ethan would gladly help him.

_Oh, bloodsucker, _Ephraim thought with a mocking smile. _You're a fucking idiot._

"Oh," the vampire said at last. "It's quite alright. The last thing I want is to upset the kid." _There it is. _"I really do hope he recovers from that horrible event."

"So do I, Ethan," the shape-shifter sighed. "So do I. Hopefully, with my help, the painful memories will vanish and his mind will be put at rest at last. You cannot possibly imagine what his happiness means to me." _Swallow the lie, leech. _"I'm terribly sorry for this—"

"It's no problem at all—"

"No, Ethan, no. You've helped me come this far and I can't even grant you the chance to meet Edward. It isn't fair. If only I could have stopped that monster from…" he trailed off there, because Good Ephraim couldn't contain his rage and absolute disgust at the thought of someone else hurting his beloved in such a brutal way.

Well, Real Ephraim couldn't do that either. Edward was _his _to touch so intimately.

"Please, friend, don't blame yourself," his right hand pleaded. "So, you want me to help…from afar? Is that correct?"

"It is," the shape-shifter answered after a careful pause. "_Tuscany_, Ethan. Remember, you must keep a low profile. There are quite a lot of people you have to hide from. But whatever you do, do not come anywhere near the house. This is strictly essential."

"Of course, friend. I'm looking forward to speaking to you soon."

"As I am. Goodbye, Ethan."

He hung up his phone in high spirits – in a dangerously high state of mind, in reality. Intoxicated by confidence, comfortable in his own skin at last and certain that all would turn out as he'd planned, he relaxed against the car seat. His muscles lost the stone-like rigidity from minutes before and his lips idly curled up. He had to admit it – exchanging conversations of this kind with the bloodsucker was like standing under a spray of hot water. Not because of Ethan's soothing words or friendly voice. It was simply so fulfilling, successfully practicing the art of acting. Ephraim had it all – in his hand, ready to be either crushed or played with. His right hand looked up to him with almost youthful admiration. It'd been Ephraim who had found the vampire with his head in his hands in that filthy alley. It'd been Ephraim whose body was the first to be subjected to the leech's scandalous power.

It'd been Ephraim who, simultaneously fascinated and terrified, had offered him a hand, who had aided the man in the discovery of his new world. He'd actually helped him with the change of his hunting habits, granted him the chance to choose to be a man, instead of a monster. As if there was an implicit rule that did not allow the vampire to counter anything the shape-shifter said, Ephraim had made him feel like an actual person.

That had been the first of many lies. Vampires could never be people; they could never be more than pretty and powerful worms that crawled up and down the world's true beauty and decency. They could never be more than a shape-shifter's greatest nuisance.

His senses were suddenly put on alert when he heard heavy footsteps. Raising his head, he focused on the approaching three figures at the corner of the warehouse. Edward wouldn't look up. His auburn hair shielded his forehead and eyes, not allowing Ephraim to figure out what those green orbs mirrored. Elaine and her mate were doing the exact opposite. The shape-shifter knew that the two were wondering when the hell they could get out of there.

As he stepped out of the car, the shape-shifter took notice of the change in Edward's walking. He wasn't shuffling like before; his steps were a trifle quicker, a bit more certain, as if he was completely unafraid of what awaited him. The werewolf's nostrils flared, as the tightening in the pit of his stomach became more insistent. _Wrong picture. Wrong posture_. His imprint was testing his limits simply by overcoming his own fear. He suppressed a growl, so immense was his ire, so consuming was the desire to put the boy in his place. But he would soon capture his rage and store it into the back of his mind. All he needed was Edward's flesh in his hands. He got a hold of his imprint's wrist as the boy reached him and threw him against the car door, intent on calming himself.

"Did you have a nice walk, sweetheart?" he whispered in his ear.

Edward's fluttering heartbeat rang within his skull, overshadowing the shape-shifter's logic. His collarbone was right under his nose, covered with the soft pale layer that was the redhead's skin. And it seemed to implore to be touched, caressed and then marked. It seemed to call to him with its apple fragrance – tempting beyond words – and its frenetic rise and fall, in perfect harmony with the delightfully loud _thump-thump_ of the boy's heart. He felt Edward's hands move against his stomach and his labored breathing against his chest. His fingers settled on the slight curve of the redhead's hip and slowly, ever so slowly, travelled downwards.

And that was when he saw the sharp end of the screwdriver that rested against Edward's belly.

It happened much too fast for human eyes to register – at the same time as Edward raised his arm and pointed his newest weapon at Ephraim, the shape-shifter seized the boy's wrist and forcefully put it above his head, but not before the redhead was able to hurt his shoulder, the cut almost causing him to loosen his grip. It was an old rusty screwdriver, the dangerous object in his imprint's hand, and it was unusually pointy.

Seething and more panicky than he would like to admit, Ephraim released a low growl that made Edward tighten his hold on the screwdriver. "Where did you get this?" he demanded between gritted teeth. The redhead's green eyes fixed their glare on a spot above his shoulder. "Where _the fuck_ did you get this?" he shouted this time, his voice dripping with venom.

Looking up at him with angry and teary eyes, Edward struggled against his clasp. "It was Myles," he accused shakily. "_He_ gave it to me. He wanted me to kill you, s-so he…he gave it to me. We share a wish, you see." He lowered the volume of his voice to a provoking tone. "We both want you dead."

"What the fuck is this kid on?" Myles spoke behind him. "Boss…" he said warily, as his employer released the redhead and turned to him. "He's lying. I'm completely clueless as to what he's trying to do, but you have to trust me. _He's lying_."

It was Elaine whom the shape-shifter glued his stare to while he approached him. With narrowed black eyes and a defensive stance, the bloodsucker moved in front of her mate, intent on guarding his physical wellbeing. _How dare they? _the werewolf questioned himself. How dare the fucking universe play tricks on him _now_? He controlled the tremors that rocked his sturdy limbs and the screams in his head that incited him to phase so abruptly. _Destroy. Make them pay. They are the toys, not you._ His hand reached for the silver object in the pocket of his slacks and as his gaze travelled to Myles' frightened countenance, he smiled widely.

He smiled even more widely when he threw the open lighter in the bloodsucker's direction.

Her screams echoed in the night, shrill and inhuman and so amazingly satisfying. The flames spread over her entire body in less than a second and she fell to the ground, while they licked her icy insides and transformed her into ash. _How dare they even _think _I wasn't prepared to punish them? _Ephraim briefly wondered if he hadn't been strict enough, for them to question his authority in such a revolting way.

Myles let a scream of a dread escape, but he would seem decided about what he should do after a moment if it weren't for the violent shaking of his brawny figure and the unfocused look that he directed at his boss. But before he could so much as lunge at the shape-shifter, this latter quickly snatched the cold gun pressed against his flank from its usual place and pulled the charging handle, as well as the trigger right afterwards. The shot left a hole on the human's forehead and rendered him unable to do anything besides losing his balance and falling to the ground.

This was it, Ephraim thought contentedly. He'd finally put an end to all the goddamn tricks, to all the goddamn drawbacks. The smearing blood, the gleaming ashes, the purple smoke… The smell of death… No, after this, nothing could fucking stop him. _Nothing_.

Except the unexpected screwdriver that perforated his throat. The pain was overwhelming, thought-consuming, disabling. He didn't even have a chance to look at Edward one last time, to damn the boy to hell in his head and regret even having fooled himself into believing that he was omniscient and inexorable. Purple, orange and red were darkened by the impossibility to stay awake.

By the impossibility to stay alive.

But he could've sworn – before he hit the flush grass that covered the earth, before he really lost all his senses – that he heard Edward's triumphant laugh.

/

**A.N.: I think the asshole had it coming. What do **_**you **_**think? Yeah, reviews are welcome. Hate is welcome. Love is welcome. Merry Christmas, you lovely people! **


	20. My time was up

EPOV

My sanity was gripping the darkest corners of my mind with the ends of its tentacles. Too close to some forsaken part of my head, slipping and falling and hiding, it seemed to me that it was giving territory to the gory side of me on purpose. And I laughed. I laughed, because the monster's mouth was dripping with blood and his unlit brown eyes stared up at me in their wide horror and absolute disbelief. The side of his neck was tainted by the crimson liquid that didn't cease to pour out from the hideous wound, caused by a downward and meticulous movement of my arm which had succeeded in the puncture of both his right common carotid artery and his windpipe. His limbs spread out like fallen tree branches, he lay in an awkward position, completely unmoving.

The monster had been brought to the ground at last.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, a sorrowful voice whimpered in self-disgust, as the pale skin of my hand was now covered in blood. It was Carlisle, or maybe the Pope, or maybe me, who found reasons to believe that I could have thought of some other way to clear the obscurity of this dilemma. Because this was wrong; something about it was wrong, because it was written somewhere that taking life was a condemnable action and that it was a sin and that it was immoral_. Wrong, wrong, right._

_Right._

Because he touched me, stripped me away of my dignity, shoved his fucking cock in me, despite my cries and pleas. He stared into my horrified eyes while the last bit of self-esteem I possessed was taken away and he didn't for a second consider what was going through my head or what the dark smudges that he left on my skin would remind me of. But that was what he wanted – to make sure that I was aware that it was him whom I belonged to. And for months, he played with my family's sense, nearly brought them to the point of madness with his sick tricks and shadowed power. I took away that power, caught him after I'd perceived how fallible he was and understood how idiotic of me it was to wait for this _moron, _this monstrous, life-wrecking moron to destroy my _son_'s life. Time and again, I told myself that he was not worth the panic attacks, the nightmares, the fear of being touched, the feeling of having dirt inside me; time and again, I vowed to my wounded soul that he would pay for it.

Oh, Jacob would love to see it, the creature that he'd abominated for so long bleeding to death at my hands. He should be here with me to see with his own hazelnut eyes what I'd done, the blood that travelled down my hands in broad rivers of dark red, leaving scarlet dots on the dry grass beneath my feet, caressing the piece of earth where the monster had become a victim of his own trap. His _helpers_ had had their end, too, so consumed in overconfidence and false hope. Hope that they'd get it bright and blue, while I was left alone to be feasted upon. Idiots. They were all a bunch of idiots, idiots_, idiots_. What right did they have to put Thomas' life at stake, to take me from Jacob? What fucking right did they have to push me over the edge and turn me into a killer again?

No, Jacob wouldn't be proud of me. My hands were tainted, my soul was fading, my touch was filthy.

The monster's eyes glued their darkness to my surely horrified face, as he turned his disfigured neck to me with a sickening crack.

Blood leaked from his mouth as he spoke. "He hates you." His voice was no more than a laughing whisper. "With all his being. He'll never forgive you for what you've done."

"No." The sky was moving in a back-and-forth dance, its dark hue wildly clashing with the amused white of the stars. "N-no…" I breathed, feeling the ground trembling beneath my unstable feet and closing the distance between us until my back finally collided with straw and grass. And blood. It was everywhere. On the russet skin under my chin. Near my lips. Reaching for my tongue. Creeping as languidly as the slow ping-ping of rationality breaking free from the confines of my skull. Cool, guarded sanity being stored away in the tips of my pale fingers, hanging off the edges of my broken nails, screeching and pleading and almost gone, but it cannot be gone, it cannot, because… _It's gone_.

"You're mine, Anthony, only mine." He smiled under the crimson lake that idly spread over his amused countenance. "You know why?" he said quietly. "Because we're both monsters."

Somewhere within me, a child cried in despair, shrilling wails ringing in my ears like sirens. The creature's eyes gleamed, mirroring the image of my back arching off the stained ground and the green of my own eyes freezing in horror, as the skin of my stomach was ripped open. The child's screams overcame any other sound in my head, any thought I could possibly have, and my lungs were scrunched up until I could no longer cry out in pain. All I could do was gasp, watch the face of a monster contorting in agony in the reflection of Ephraim's amused eyes.

The young pale face of a monster. Me. No one but me.

"Monsieur, est-ce que vous êtes bien?"

_Bien_ was the last word I'd use to describe how I was feeling at the moment, no matter how romantic it sounded.

"Oui, merci," I replied as strongly as I could, even if the back of my throat ached when stretched, constricted with emotion and dry as a desert. The sound of the next train approaching caused the woman who'd been kind enough to ask me if I was alright to turn her head in the direction of the railways and wave distractedly at me before taking off.

I reckoned that she hadn't been the only one who'd taken notice of the immense discomfort that a mere daydream was causing the dark-clothed teenager sitting on a sheltered bench near the station entry. My fingers wouldn't cease to tremble; my heart wouldn't slow down. Only the chatter of Swiss citizens and the commotion that accompanied it assured me that I was safe now, reminded me that it'd been three days since I'd left Rome in _his _car, intent on getting away from the crime scene as soon as possible. My eyelids were on fire, having been kept open for far too long, and my teeth chattered violently as the cold air of Fribourg enveloped my weakened body in its frigid grasp.

At times like these, I constantly questioned myself why I deserved to be so badly punished.

_At times like these,_ everything that had happened to me retreated inside my head like a movie. Its images were scars in my heart – haunting reminders of my lonely existence and the loss of my happy innocence. Right when I thought everything would change – when my life became full of vivid colors and expectations – my vigor was taken away by someone I barely knew. Pictures of a life that had long been forgotten (of a green-eyed woman who loved me unconditionally and a bright future ahead of me) ran through my head, filling me with peace and taming my emotional torment. Back then, nothing seemed to be out of place, like the world's defects and qualities were puzzle pieces, fitting perfectly in spite of what many people said. Everything moved but nothing changed, and I often thanked God for giving me such an unobscured life. It had never occurred to me that one day my happy _reality_ would be shattered and my dreams would forever be just that: mere dreams.

Why had it all changed so suddenly? Why had my life become hell without warning me first? And why didn't it give me a chance to move on?

Really, it never took too long to figure out why I had to go through this shit, why I deserved to have bruises on my arms and crescent shaped marks on my palms from when my nails had broken my pale skin. I'd lose all the precious stones in my life (the ones that I had devotedly searched for), because of my insatiable desire for revenge. And to think that I'd been able to laugh before the evidence that I truly was a monster, to be filled by such overpowering joy, was sickening and painful and most of all, maddening, because the memory of my mistake would not quit its pestering. For a fleeting period of time, I'd been able to lie to myself and think that I had done nothing wrong and that Ephraim had deserved it.

He _had_, but I could have thought of some other way to break free from his terrorizing grasp. I have absolutely no idea what else I could have done… _I don't know, Damnit, I don't know, _but I just…could have…_not_ added one more murder to my endless list of sins.

Dragging my hands through my hair, I heavily breathed out the frigid autumn air, my lungs becoming void of fuel for a couple of seconds. I needed this from time to time, to allow my mind to go into a state of near unconsciousness, so that when it reawakened, I could think clearly, no black mist enlaced with self-destructive thoughts clouding my judgment and consequently, preventing me from doing so much as moving an inch. Ever since I'd left _his _car in Milan and caught the train that would lead me to relative safety, I'd been attempting to free myself of my recent memories and the occasional dreams that went together with them. And the insistent, nearly unbearable, self-reprimand eventually turning into a chaotic crisis of values that I struggled to solve. It would all get me nowhere, I was very much aware of that; I felt as if I no longer could rely on instinct or emotions, for they were fleeing in every direction, returning with no purpose and causing a knot to build up in my throat.

I'd love to be a ghost now.

But someone was waiting for me, and I missed, I needed, I couldn't live without that someone; without his heavenly warmth, or his intoxicating pinewood scent, or his smoldering hazel eyes burning into mine with the comforting promise that I was home; without him shooting great evidence of his sense of humor in the most unlikely situations, the lingering taste of his scalding mouth on my lips, his freeing whispers lulling me to sleep after an unexpected nightmare, the blissful feeling of his rough thumbs on my cheeks and his chin resting on top of my head, or even his outbursts of anger. I missed him, from his playful smile to his strong chest, along with everything in between and everything beyond all that. And I hurt because of that. It was a most distinguishable kind of hurt, even amidst the maelstrom of feelings wearing me down. I knew I didn't deserve it, not after what I'd done to his great-grandfather, regardless of my beliefs concerning his hatred for him, but right now I just wanted him here (_so, so much_) and I longed to have his sturdy arms around me and his assurance that I could sleep at last.

At the same time, I quietly fretted, all but oblivious to the commotion around me; for, I wasn't quite certain that he really was alright, if his head had yet to heal completely, if it had begun to heal at all, or if he lay unconscious in a remote part of the forest, where he couldn't be found. There was only one way to know and the means of making sure that Jacob wasn't hurt was dependent on the silver cell phone inside the pocket of the dark hoodie I was wearing. I couldn't hold over this life-deciding call for much longer, because not only was I intent on returning to Forks as soon as possible, but I was also aware that I wasn't the only one concerned in this situation. Even if Ethan had been sincere with me while affirming that physically Jacob was in no danger, I was desperate to soothe my wolf's surely immense worry. Also, the last three days had blurred past me, my exhausted mind, my nearly empty stomach, and my poor, poor Thomas. No matter how sick I felt at the thought of digesting anything right now, it was my duty to take care of my son.

I worriedly prayed that his health wouldn't be affected by the unkind circumstances.

I headed for the station's restrooms, relieved when I found them void of curious ears. The likelihood of someone understanding English was not exactly low, so I had to be cautious. _Besides_, talking on the phone in a bathroom full of people seemed kind of awkward.

I leaned against the tile wall nearest to the back of the room and nervously fingered a thin piece of paper as my pale reflection appeared in my line of vision, under the fluorescent lights in the ceiling.

If vampires didn't possess inhuman beauty, I could affirm that I looked like one right now.

Running my gaze through the list of Ephraim's contacts, I swallowed the bile that inevitably rose up in my throat and quickly searched for Ethan's number. I was afraid, terribly so. There was so much I could deduce about someone only having heard their voice and words; Ethan was Ephraim's right hand, which meant that they'd shared a bond of loyalty that I wasn't able to measure. When he found out what I'd done, I was likely to be buried in an impressively big pile of trouble, friendliness be damned. Also, I wasn't so much of an idiot that I actually believed that Ethan wasn't getting anything out of his affability towards me, or even his faithfulness to Ephraim, if it existed in the first place. Frankly, I was completely clueless regarding his intentions. I'd thought for some time that I should trust him, convinced that he would give me access to freedom, but now I was wary of innocent passers-by, of flashes of designer suits, and even the mere hiss of the wind. I trusted no one – not even myself.

My hand shook as I held the phone to my ear. When the beeping sound that signaled that we weren't yet connected stopped, I held my breath, my lip caught in my teeth, and I nervously waited for some kind of hint that Ethan and I really could talk now, but I couldn't hear a thing and that honestly scared me somewhat. "H-hello?" I stuttered slightly, almost unable to hear my own voice. I cursed my nerves for causing me to sound so pathetic, until I remembered that playing the victim card now wasn't that bad of an idea. I just had to evaluate his tone, his words, register them with the spine-chilling feeling that they would decide my fate, and then I could choose which role it would be advisable to fit in.

"_What did you do?_"

Not angry or threatening, the manner in which he spoke comforted me somewhat, as he sounded only fearful and concerned. There was also doubt beneath his question – had it been me who killed his boss? Had I fled for a different reason, under the pressure of another kind of threat? It also came to mind the fact that he knew about Ephraim's death without me ever coming across him. Had they planned something? It was probable that when we'd stopped near the warehouse, Ephraim was only waiting for him to arrive. In that case_, hell_, it took Ethan a good while to do so. I wondered with an involuntarily brusque inhale if he had followed my scent and was now closer than I thought, or if he had remained in Rome.

"_Edward, what did you do?_" he questioned again.

No, he was definitely certain that it'd been me who had murdered Ephraim.

Murdered – the word made me flinch.

"I need your help," I whispered. The scared green eyes of the boy in the mirror offered me only the realization that there was no need to _try_ to sound weak, or broken, or lost. The truth was that I was baring myself to a practically unknown entity through the phone and the tremors that rocked my frame, the much too fast thump-thump of my heart and the burning in my lungs proved that there was no other strategy I could use to get him to come to my aid. "I…I'm…I'm sorry."

"_It's alright._" He quickly took on a soothing tone. "_Just tell me what happened._"

"Y-you can't imagine it." I struggled to gulp down the lump that clogged my gullet. Somehow, the words spilled out of my mouth as if it was technically impossible to be silent – I couldn't hold it inside anymore. My shoulders heaved, despite my attempts to muffle my emotions. "I saw it all, I-I remembered everything I went through because of him and I…I couldn't… I'm sorry," I sobbed. Tugging my hair so hard it hurt, I began pacing. The mental turmoil that I'd blocked for the sake of movement returned with a vengeance. This time, there were no rational thoughts anchoring me to normalcy or reasonable tranquility. I was alone and scared and I wanted Jacob and Dad and I had no idea what the fuck I was supposed to do. "I know, maybe, maybe I shouldn't have, but every time I looked at him I imagined how _lovely _it would be to snap his neck. I mean, you don't know, you have no idea…" I gasped. "What it feels like to be…to feel like absolute _shit_, violated and broken and pathetic. A-and I'm sorry if it's my fault that I felt that way and for…for ending his life."

There was still a lot I felt the need to get off my chest, but it had all been divided into a series of distorted fragments, loose calls for help, insults that I couldn't direct at anyone but myself. For now, I was unable to do much besides sliding down the door of the bathroom stall, watch the figure of the pristine white toilet in front of me become nothing but a smudge, blurred by the scalding tears that continuously streamed down my face, and hold my stomach as I sobbed. This was one of those days – frankly, not at all unlike many others of my first, second, third lives – when I was vaguely conscious of how strange it was that I couldn't decide what had pushed me towards this point, or what the droplets that descended my contorting face were for, or most importantly what event had caused me to break down, how it had worked to compromise my sanity so tacitly. I didn't know. I didn't know why I was crying, even if only a couple of minutes ago I could have made a list.

And the worst part was that I couldn't bring myself to stand up to confront a faceless enemy, or even to try to discover the root of my pandemonic mental state.

"_Edward, please, calm down._"

I looked up for a moment, and through wet eyes, I imagined that the flaming white lights in the ceiling, flickering without a rhythm, would soon diminish in intensity, until artificial dimness was the only source of illumination I had, until even that weak font died down and I was left in the darkness, completely alone. In the middle of this suffocating reflection, I wondered, as well, how I could feel so cold, when my clothing was so warm, when my face blazed so naturally behind slight paths of salty water. As I violently shuddered, my hand once again came up to grab my hair and I pulled it with a growl of impatience. Just stop, I told myself, and Ethan's words rang in my ears like sirens. _Put yourself together, you pathetic loser. _But I couldn't, because somehow, busy days went by with me foolishly believing that everything would be alright, and I easily forgot the thousands of people I'd murdered, the wreckage that was left behind when I parted from Bella, when I'd endangered her and my family, the thoughts I'd picked from angry minds, holding hatred for me, hatred that I understood with complete effortlessness.

I couldn't get rid of it. I shouldn't, really, because I probably deserved it.

"Shit," I chuckled into the phone as I used my sleeve to wipe my face. "Can you believe this, Ethan? I killed your boss, your friend, and now I'm demonstrating how much of an idiot I am."

"_You're not—"_

"But, you know, some people are idiots," I cut him off. "Save your kindness for someone who deserves it, Ethan, because I don't. And you can say whatever you want about me being a poor rape victim who's too young to vote, give all kinds of excuses for what I've done, but in the end, nothing can bring your friend back to life. Have you found him yet? It's disgusting; you can only see the handle of the screwdriver and there's blood all around his neck. H-his eyes," I swallowed, "are wide open. So, Ethan, I'm going to be honest – I called you, because I need your help to return to the U.S.. How do you feel about that?"

For a minute, the hum of the ceiling lights was the only sound I could hear.

"_Where are you?_"

"Hell – I mean, Fribourg, Switzerland."

He sighed heavily. "_Have you found accommodation?_"

My lips curled up under the weight of the absurdity of this conversation, of this sequence of events, of this stupid, stupid life. "I haven't."

"_Where are you at exactly?" _

"At the train station, inside a nice little stall – much better than American public toilets, that is for sure," I mumbled, leaning my head against the cold wall, while a persistent lightheadedness took hold of my senses. The paper holder in front of me was blurred around the edges.

"_I will try to get there as soon as possible. I'd say, within three hours."_

My eyelids slid shut, pushed down by the exhaustion I could no longer battle, and I could swear that for the most fleeting of moments, I was fit to be loved, not whole, but free of the spinning chaos of thoughts weighing on my chest, imprisoning my mind. I didn't care that when I woke up, this soft mental state would vanish, taken by the memories of my mistakes, and that I'd go back to questioning the life Jacob and I had built for ourselves, our hopes, our expectations. For now, I was unable to scold myself for giving in to a need I didn't deserve to have satisfied, to trust Jacob to appear out of nowhere and say that what I'd done was completely justifiable, and to believe that everything would work out.

Eventually.

«-»

JPOV

"Mr. Black?"

The number of students in this school barely brushed the one-hundred mark and yet, teachers treated us as if we didn't bump into them more than a dozen times a day. The distance that they put between us and them was long, as long as the path we still had to follow before we found Edward. So long was that path (or at least it seemed to be) that Dad had had the gayest of ideas and decided that while the Cullens ran back and forth, or in circles, without ever stopping, desperately attempting to track scents and the simplest of clues concerning their relative's whereabouts, I should give my body a rest and try to keep my mind off the worry that tainted my every thought. His plan was ridiculous, to say the least, and I could barely suppress my rage at the idea of Edward suffering at the hands of a psychopath while I was practically forced to attend Mr. Harris' useless classes.

Of course, Ed's _saintly_ father had agreed, promising me that he would do everything in his power to find Edward as soon as possible. Now, no one could say I had no reason to doubt him; I certainly hadn't forgotten what the Cullens had done to my ex-leech when they found out he was pregnant. No matter how much time I'd spent with them and how familiar they'd become to me, I still wouldn't put it past them to betray _us_ again, so that was why I kept asking for more updates regarding their investigation. Alice had a list of places where the blond vampire who had attacked me could be at the moment. Finding Ephraim depended on another long list of flights, too, which Emmett had made when he arrived in Portland. According to him, there was another vampire scent mingled with his and as expected, Edward's permeated the air, as well. He'd brought his Volvo back home and noticed that everything his brother usually kept in the car trunk had vanished.

Had Ephraim had the decency of taking something that belonged to his imprint with them so that it could serve as some kind of comfort?

I didn't know what to think of it, honestly.

"Pst, Jake?" Paul hissed next to me. Throwing him a brief a glance, I became aware of the amount of expectant gazes focusing on my hunching figure. I made an uninterested effort to remember what our History teacher had asked, but I came up blank and ultimately decided that there was no point in trying to answer him.

With a frown, Mr. Harris tuned back to the class and picked a more attentive student.

"Jake," Paul called quietly. "You want to skip the next class and go somewhere?"

In any other circumstances, I would have been tempted, since I always found much better things to do at home than being at school and registering no information, but if I went somewhere, like Paul suggested, I still wouldn't get rid of my explainable sulkiness and I was likely to visit the Cullens against their protests. They'd told me to stay away, since there was a certain vampire who wasn't quite stable at the moment – Bella, obviously. Yesterday, her heart had stopped beating. To a certain extent, I could understand their wariness: if newborns were frighteningly dangerous after they'd been around for a few months at least, a vampire that had woken up only a few hours before was bound to do some damage, following their instincts like an animal would. I was her enemy and I was almost certain that she would see me as such if I suddenly showed up. To be honest, I really wanted to see how she was doing, regardless of the danger that it would put me in. By now Jasper was probably with her, in case she suddenly snapped, and Carlisle was likely to be there, too, teaching her how to hunt animals, while I was left to wonder if she really had accepted her fate.

If she didn't, there was always someone to blame – the vampire who'd appeared out of nowhere to fuck up our lives beyond explanation. To say that this sequence of events was confusing was stating that water was wet. I was anxious to know who the hell had hurt my best friend, anxious to have Edward in my arms and make sure he was okay and anxious to get out of this classroom. Basically, I felt like my boiling blood would suddenly tear open my skin, for even sitting still seemed like an incredibly hard task. Dad's command rang in my ears while I tried to block out the urge to bolt out of the room, until I realized with a start that it was possible that I would never actually see the face of the fucker who had bitten Bella and found myself unable to keep up this pathetic charade.

"Mr. Black, where do you think you're going?" I heard my teacher ask behind me.

But I didn't answer and I didn't spend any more of time listening to a shitload of information I would never use. As I ran across the school's parking lot with only my backpack in my hand, I fought my anger with everything had, waiting until I reached the forest to change into my wolf form. I was seething – the reason why I'd never find out who had done this to Bells was because _no one_ in the Cullen family had remembered to follow the vampire's scent. I was told that she was found in a remote part of Alaska, so I couldn't think of any obstacles that could prevent them from completing that simple task. I'd completely lost my faith in the Cullens. Why the fuck were they so stupid, really? They failed Edward; they failed Bella. _Fucking failures._ I was sick of their incompetence.

'_Damn, Jake, you could have warned me first,' _Paul complained as he, too, ran through the dense forest of La Push as swiftly as the wind. The sound of my heartbeat was almost as loud as my shallow breathing, my large paws thudding against the earth and the wind rushing past my jaws, and the greener my surroundings seemed to me, the faster I tried to escape them and reach my destination. I no longer cared if the Cullens were okay with someone from my pack being in wolf form in their lands or not, and I honestly appreciated Paul's company and silent support, despite my awfully immense rage and impatience. I swear even the wildlife's almost frightened noises incited me to close my jaws around something, someone, and destroy, destroy, destroy.

And it was with this thought that I felt my ribs cracking as a solid body collided with my flank.

"Bella, stop!" I heard Jasper scream with an authoritarian tone.

My huge body rolled across the thankfully foiled ground, and when I came to my senses, I cursed so loudly in my head that Paul howled in protest. Through our mental bond I thanked him sarcastically, and he apologized with a tone of concern, seeing as the image of me shaking on my side and growling softly had him rightly assuming that I was hurt. My left side burned with searing pain and I tried to control my breathing and stifle any complaining sound in order to allow my wolf genes to heal my injured ribs. Meanwhile, with my eyes closed, I listened to someone else's growls, which were not the kind that a human could produce, but they weren't so feral that they belonged to an animal. I saw through Paul's astounded mind a brown-haired vampire attempting to fight off Edward's blonde brother, but clearly he had the upper hand, even if he seemed to be struggling. It was Bella, I acknowledged sorrowfully, my no longer clumsy, harmless best friend.

The healing of my ribs and Bella's abandonment of her vampire instincts took about the same time. I refused to phase back to human, not only afraid to lose my composure, but also decided to appear as angry as I felt. I got up on all four paws and casted a glance at the red-eyed vampire at Jasper's side, repeating to myself that this was beyond messed up. Of course, she was still Bella, the girl with the heart-shaped face and doe eyes, but her beauty was far superior now; her features were a trifle sharper and her body appeared to be more womanly than before. Yes, she was still Bella, but I couldn't help but freak out a little in my head as I stared into her blood-red eyes and took notice of her dangerous aura. She had on a blue dress, which during her hunting session had lost a few pieces of fabric. While I observed her new appearance, my wrath was gradually softened by an exterior force. Clearly, Jasper had sensed my disorderly emotions and was attempting to figure out why I was so upset. Glancing at my now crimson-eyed friend, I phased abruptly and fell on my knees with a loud thud, before I quickly stood up and approached Jasper with three long strides.

"Don't you think it's enough?" I snarled as I seized the front of his shirt. "Don't you think it's time to start thinking?"

Jasper lost his manners. "What the fuck are you talkin' about?"

"I'm talking about none of you idiotic people going after the shithead who changed Bella."

"Jake, man, I think you should calm down," Paul stepped in.

I didn't spare him a glance. "Shut the fuck up," I told him simply.

Jasper grasped my wrist in his cold hand. "Ya need to let go of me, or I swear, dog, I'm goin' to lose it."

Indeed, he seemed ready to carry out his promise, eyeing me with narrowed eyes and a warning sneer, so I loosened my grip on his shirt and let my hand fall as soon as his released my wrist.

"Why wasn't he told?" Bella asked quietly. We both turned to her, me with a raised eyebrow.

"Told what?"

"Listen here, mutt." Jasper shielded her from me. "I couldn't care less what you mean to Edward. You two being boyfriends certainly doesn't give you the right to act like a sanctimonious prick and forget that Ed is my brother and our top priority at the moment, which means that we're doing everything in our power to find him. But we ain't no superheroes, dog. More than one person at a time has to stay here with Bella, while the remaining members of this _family _try as hard as they can to rescue Edward. Only three days have passed and we're already considering going overseas. None of us has stopped yet."

Giving him a more attentive look, I realized that his eyes were pitch-black, staring up at me above purple bags. It came to mind the possibility of all the other Cullens bearing the same hungry and despairing look, due to all the trips that they were making, which left them no time to feed, and I felt guilty for being angry at them for not being able to do two things at once. They were vampires, yes, but as Jasper said, they weren't superheroes and this tantrum of mine hadn't been helpful at all. In fact, I could have demoralized Edward's brother were he not such a seemingly focused guy. I groaned internally.

"Jake," Bella called softly – her voice sounded incredibly more musical. I raised my eyes to hers. "Just so you know, even if Edward wasn't missing, following the vampire's scent would be of no use. We know who it was. Trust me, it's better not to cause conflicts with his coven."

"Coven?" I groaned.

"Royal family, that's more like it," Jasper said. "It was Demetri, a member of the Volturi. I suppose he was sent to either kill or change Bella, since Aro is intolerant to the existence of non-oblivious humans."

"Don't worry, Jake." Bella smiled, and I fought the urge to shudder – her teeth were much sharper now. "My time was up."

Her theories didn't comfort me in the least, but I forced myself to smile back, even if another matter weighed on my mind like a ton of bricks. If the Cullens were considering going overseas, it was probable that the list of flights to other parts of the country was completely useless, and I found it difficult to swallow the lump in my throat as I imagined my boyfriend, carrying _my son_, unable to fight off the psycho who had hurt and traumatized him, so many miles away from me and the place he called home.

_Please, ex-leech, be safe._


	21. Do you need help?

EPOV

My eyes blinked open, and I sensed a sheet of sweat veiling my surely white face only seconds after I'd regained consciousness. The lights still flickered, though their brightness diminished and augmented through a gray haze that had me questioning my ability to stay awake – alive – maybe dead? – a minute longer. The stall walls swirled, and my stomach tumbled down the rest of my body, jumped up again, and then repeated the process. There were many things I was unaware of, and one of them was how my hands had gone from fisting my damp sweater to gripping the sides of the toilet bowl in front of me. I dry heaved and felt somewhere within me one hundred sirens alerting me to the state that my body was in, forcing me to put up a weak fight against the mist that blocked most of my thoughts. I questioned myself regarding the last few days. Had I so much as stopped to eat? When had I last slept? Had I felt as sick during that period of time as I did now?

I coughed weakly and put all of my energy into the act of standing up, leaning heavily on the restroom door and, after opening it, on every vertical surface I had the chance to lay my hands on. My head hurt so much I swear I wished for a couple of miserly seconds that someone would just rip it off my neck, and every step that I took was intercepted by waves of dizziness that refused to cease their pestering. I stumbled on the shadow of my feet, bumped against the walls as if incredibly strong gusts of wind were coming from all directions, and left my handprints there, with the sweat that had gathered over my palms. I wanted to drop on the floor and sleep until I woke up next to Jacob; I wanted to _forget _this. It sounded absurd, even to my fogged mind, but I wished more than anything that the recent events had been erased from my memory, that even the knowledge that I had to eat something, anything, as soon as possible, could completely vanish. I needed a bed…floor…something, where I could finally collapse. _Goddamnit, stop moving._ I couldn't keep up… I couldn't… There were so many shadows, replacing singular human figures, and colors didn't seem like colors anymore. _Just what the fuck is happening?_ Where was Jacob? Hell, this place was so different from Forks… No… Fribourg? Ethan – the monster's right hand – had said he would be here soon, but I couldn't see a pale face anywhere. A blur – maybe if I caught a blur… But everything was a blur, so how could I distinguish him from every other ill-defined shape? _Edward, come on… Help me out…_

Wait, that was me…

"Hey, pal, do you need help?" a deep voice said. I felt a warm body brush against mine and a strong hand around my elbow. An unwanted image appeared in my head, making me take a sharp breath and stumble forward. This time, a pair of arms wrapped around my torso, as my legs finally gave out, and in my semi-conscious state, I didn't know whether to be afraid or grateful.

"Yes," I croaked. Unable to help it, I leaned against the stranger's body and attempted to find my footing while trying to make out his features. He was pale, I realized, and I was about to sigh in relief, thinking that Ethan had found me at last, when I noticed that his eyes were too light-colored to belong to a vampire. And he was warm and solid…I could just fall asleep…

The stranger led – or dragged – me to a bench, which seemed to be miles away from wherever we had been, and when I sat down, the warmness that had seeped into my flesh, the _odd_ odor he emanated, deserted my narrow field of detection. Vaguely, I heard the churning of several train carriages and their cutting the air as they passed by with impressive speed, heard low and distorted voices and quiet footsteps, all the time wondering if being underwater would make me feel differently. Some seconds must have passed before I found the courage to open my eyes; when I did, shapes had a more defined outline, and they didn't go back and forth, like they had done just moments before. I swallowed heavily and took notice of the dryness in my throat, before I realized that my hands were gripping the bench as if my life depended on it.

"Here, kid, drink this."

The stranger had come back, and I noticed that he was tall and buff, with fair hair that didn't go far beyond the limits of a military haircut. He wore a friendly smile, which, somehow, looked out of place on his roundish face, and I must have recoiled when he crouched down next to me, because it completely vanished after that. Still, he handed me the glass of water he'd brought, and I took it with shaky hands and a tentative smile – I hoped it _was_ a smile, at least –, without thinking for a second about this man's reasons to help me. _Maybe Europeans are all nice and trustworthy…_

"Are you okay?" he asked, after I'd finished drinking whatever was in the glass, hoping that it was just water with sugar. Immediately, I gave myself a mental reprimand – not everybody in the world was out to get me. _He's not going to hurt you. He's not him. He's not _him_. _

"Yeah," I replied truthfully. I could feel some of my awareness returning to me, my head clearing a little, and the aridness in my throat being replaced by something that enabled me to speak with more ease, even though I still wished that I could close my eyes and sleep for a few decades. The blonde man – the _kind _man – stared attentively at me for a minute, with his lips curled up, and there was just something odd about his grin, as if it wasn't truly sincere, as if it hid second intentions. He was a stranger to me, but was I stranger to him? Even though these distrustful questions didn't cease to run through my head, I said, "Thank you."

"You're American, yes?"

I answered that I was and tried to remember where I'd heard an accent like his before. It wasn't very noticeable, but hints of it sometimes transpired through his speech, a rather heavy, sharp intonation weighing down on some words. Despite my doubts regarding his true intentions, I accepted the chocolate bar that he then offered me, so that I could regain some energy and think clearly afterwards. While I ate the delicious piece of unhealthy junk he'd kindly handed me, however, I could only focus on its heavenly taste – how long had I gone without giving in to the pleasures of life? – and the little pieces of peanuts that it contained, refraining, nevertheless, from making strange sounds. It occurred to me that the chaotic way I'd handled things after killing Ephraim could have endangered my son's health (perhaps it had), and I cursed my lack of consideration for the fact that _I had life inside of me_ and for the vow I'd made to myself, to Thomas. To Jacob, also. I suppose there was no need for me to promise out loud that I would always try to come back home in one piece, that I wouldn't be thoughtless and inconsequential and disrespectful – because I considered taking someone's ever-present care for granted disrespectful –, seeing as Jacob and I's relationship, in spite of suffering from weak moments, rested on a base of mutual trust, and that was how we worked. We had to attempt to put ourselves' in each other's proverbial shoes before making certain decisions. Of course, I hadn't decided to starve myself and break down in a stall, but, perhaps, I could have tried to focus on something other than my disquiet.

As I finished eating the chocolate bar, I realized that the man was still smiling, rather eerily, in my opinion, as if he was analyzing my every gesture without wanting to make it obvious, as if he didn't intend to drop a ping of unease in the pit of my stomach, despite the fact that he was very clearly searching for something in my posture and in my facial expression – a sign that could prove whatever theory he had running through his head. This man wanted something from me, and trying to convince myself that he was helping me out of pure solidarity could lead me to another mount of trouble. For the love of all that was holy, it was _enough_. I wanted to go home. I needed to go home. I couldn't stand this maddening chain of events – disaster after disaster –, any longer, and damn it all to Hell if I was going to let a stranger prevent me from ending this for once and for all.

With this in mind and after clearing my throat, I slowly sat up, wobbling only a bit, and subtly moved away from him. "Thank you so much." I smiled. Openly. Like a sincere person would smile. "I honestly don't know what would have happened to me if it weren't for you. Is there anyway I can repay you?"

_We might as well get over it. _

The sides of his lips lowered a bit, and I was grateful for the slight change in attitude. "There is, indeed." He took a step forward, and I held my breath as a way of preventing myself from taking a step back in turn. "Have you, by chance, heard of a family named Cullen?"

"Who wishes to know?" I asked warily, hopefully without betraying my innocent façade. The blonde's clear eyes danced yet again over the lines of my face, searching for some kind of clue, which I wasn't at all willing to give to him. He was _rather_ beefy, just a bit of a challenge for my physical strength, but I trusted – no, I didn't, but I told myself I did – that I could rely on my natural swiftness, and surely, someone here would take notice of a teenage boy being chased by an older man. I looked around. Well…maybe not. What the hell had happened? Had there been an epidemic while I was unconscious for two seconds? It seemed as if mostly everyone who had been waiting here before I'd gone to the bathroom had vanished into thin air, and the only ones left were me, this _guy_, who had woken up the cynic in me, and some workers. Or, at least, those were the ones I was aware of. I thought I heard voices behind me, but I couldn't be sure. Going back to Plan A, I could see that the likelihood of me getting into a fight with this stranger and living to tale the tale wasn't nearly high enough for me to risk my handsome face, which Jacob liked most ardently, so it would be best to see _what_ he wanted from me and my family, exactly.

"We do," a female voice answered. Spinning on the heel of my shoe, I began to count the elements that formed the circle that was closing in on me, and I was inevitably reminded of times long gone, when I thought I was in love with Bella, and what could have happened to her in Port Angeles. A shudder ripped through my body. There was that word again, scraping my memories, leaving gashes on those that I intended to lock away for good. The shadow of that day in the forest filtered through the cracks in my mind. My heart reacted to it.

There weren't more than six people around me, including the blonde man, and they all approached me with the clear desire to get the answers they wanted. Four of them were fair-haired, relatively tall women, and they bore fire in their light-colored eyes. The accent – it indicated that they had come from Northeastern lands. Who was known for living in these areas? Which legends went from mouth to mouth there?

"I do know the Cullens," I stated. There was certainly in my expression something that they could pick up on. A hint of resentment. The sting of being falsely accused. I'd been quick to catch on. These were Children of the Moon, creatures that lost all free will when the beams of the full moon shone down on them, but they were also _people, _apparently not more harmful than I was. They were grieving the loss of their companions, members of their kind, who had been killed by my family. My throat ached. They'd _had _to do that, I convinced myself. Humans had been in danger, unaware of the threat that skirted their living area.

A curvy woman, perhaps the shortest, fixed her green gaze on me. "You're Edward Cullen, I assume. The youngest one," she said.

"Masen," I corrected through gritted teeth. "My name is Edward Masen. I don't want to have any connection to those people." I made sure that my eyes became glassy, as if I was reliving what had happened when Carlisle found out that I was pregnant.

They loathed my family. It was evident in the way they eyed me, like I was to blame for the deaths of members of their species. If I could make them believe that I wasn't fond of the Cullens either, then perhaps they'd keep me alive until Ethan arrived. When he did… Well, I had no idea what would happen. The present was what I had to focus on.

The green-eyed woman shifted her gaze to the one that stood beside her, a beauty with long platinum hair, and drew her eyebrows together. The blonde returned her look, before turning her head in my direction with an air of wariness.

"So, you know about their being…" she trailed off, and I nodded. "You're human, though, because you mated with Ephraim Black."

Immediately, a cold spark shot up my spine. _Mated with Ephraim Black. _The name, the phrase, the way she said it – it all made me sick. Mixed with the foul taste in the back of my mouth, a yawning anger threatened to steal all my self-control, push me towards a path that I didn't wish to follow. There came those images again, cutting through my sanity, almost forcing me to feel again what I'd felt when _he _put me through _that. _How dare she assume that I had been willing to… I wanted to throw up, lash out, break something. Or run. My hair stood on end, and I got the sense that if I didn't do any of those things, I'd eventually find myself in a very bad situation.

"As if I'd ever be willing to do that…" I bit out, before I could stop myself. A lump formed in my throat. I tried to see if what I'd said had shocked them, if they were aware that their _boss _was capable of doing something so horrible, but I found, much to my dismay, acknowledgment in their eyes. They weren't pawns. They were no better than Myles, who had chosen to participate in such a twisted plan in order to earn more money than he needed to survive. The world was filled with excessively ambitious individuals, and their greed pulled them to such low levels! I couldn't say it appalled me, because I'd heard too many thoughts and seen too many dark fantasies to be so greatly affected by this sort of thing, but now, inevitably, I looked at these people with negative criticism clouding my mind. "What do you want from them?" I asked softly. I couldn't let these new bits of information ruin my little performance. "Um…" I chuckled with no amusement. "I'm willing to bet you wish them no good. Who _does?_ They're life-wrecking, careless monsters."

A thin young man and the green-eyed woman nodded at the same time, obviously agreeing with me.

"And what is it, then, that you want from _me_?"

_Get it over with. Just get it over with._

The blonde man who'd given me the chocolate bar stepped beside me. "We should do this somewhere else."

"They don't care," I said loudly, as soon as I saw him reaching for my arm. "After what happened...with Ephraim, they thought I'd been lying to them all along. They thought I was…a demon. I ran away from home, and we haven't spoken since then. They don't care about me."

I honestly didn't know what it was with most supernatural creatures. In this world, revenge was carried out with radicalism, directed at an innocent target, as if killing the object of your enemy's affections would give you some sense of power, as if the pain, the loss, that your enemy felt could alleviate yours in any way. I didn't know. Even when I'd been a vampire, I'd always thought that if something were to happen to someone I loved, I would fix my wrath on the one who'd been responsible for it, not their mate, or their child, or even their friends. But these werewolves' true wish was to make my family suffer even _more _than they had, and they now had the opportunity to carry out their plan.

Another woman, tall, redheaded and older-looking, approached me slowly, with a sympathetic expression on her pale face. "We can see you've been through a lot," she said softly. "It's alright. We don't wish to harm you in any way. We just want to know a few things about the Cullens."

"Like why they killed Walter and Alina," said the thin young man. "Or, better, why Ephraim sent them to America to distract your coven if they had no business with you anymore. Why did he need our services if you weren't under their protection?"

I refrained from asking in turn why in the hell they'd followed Ephraim's instructions if they didn't expect some of them to get hurt. Instead, I pretended to be shocked, all the while cursing myself for digging a hole. "What are you?" I questioned. "In fact, how do you even know that they are a _coven_ and not a family?"

A girl with startlingly blue eyes decided to speak up. "You must have heard the legends…about the lycanthropes." _Indeed. _"And our boss…you must already know what he was." I nodded solemnly. "He told some of us to travel to the Olympic Peninsula and hide in the forest at night. He said our presence would distract the bloodsuckers, that it was the only way to get to you. Most of our missions failed."

"And some of us died by their hand," the boy added.

"Ephraim wasn't exactly fond of the Cullens, if you didn't know," I said. "Whether he sent your friends on a suicide mission, or if he just wanted them to kill my fa–the Cullens, I have no idea. I suppose you wouldn't accept the job if he'd told you what he actually had in mind. But, as I said, I haven't spoken to them in a while, so I didn't even know about this. I was under nobody's protection. I simply tried to hide from Ephraim."

There was a moment of silence, in which they all shared looks and small nods, as if they were having a tacit conversation about what their next decision would be. Clearly, they had something against Ephraim, as well, and they absolutely despised my family, though they now knew that their friends' deaths hadn't really been their fault and their revenge plans suddenly seemed ridiculous to them. Knowing that the person that they'd been about to destroy shared their distaste lessened my chances of getting killed today, because they also thought my expiration would have no impact on the Cullens' lives. And neither would their attempts to end my family. They didn't stand a chance. Still, they looked forward to asking something from me.

"I hope you don't think we intended to hurt you," said the blonde man. "We just needed some answers."

"Of course," the redheaded woman rushed to assure me. "We also wanted to thank you. We've had our suspicions about Ephraim Black's true intentions for a while. We're glad someone finally got rid of him."

There came that spine-chilling feeling again. "How do you–"

"We were to meet in Tuscany, where he planned on taking you," the girl informed. She was perhaps the only truly nice person amongst the group. "We saw his car, but he wasn't the one driving it. If you had simply escaped, he would have called us and burst our eardrums telling us to look for you. We followed you, and I saw you washing your hands by a river nearby, when you finally stopped."

I breathed out a shaky sigh and closed my eyes. "Okay. So what do you want now?"

The blonde man didn't look very keen on letting me go without taking something from me first, but before he could reply, the redheaded woman took a step forward. "Nothing," she said firmly, glaring at her friend. "Enough with the adventures and the schemes. You know that if you try anything against us in the future, you will have someone worse than Ephraim at your doorstep."

"Nice to know." I smiled sarcastically. "Trust me: after this, I wouldn't dare threaten anyone's safety."

"We know, Edward." She nodded. "We know."

«-»

I huffed for what seemed like the millionth time now. I was glad that Ethan's gift made him undoubtedly more powerful than most vampires, because speed simply wasn't his forte, and that was a vampire's most important ability, in my opinion. I'd taken the opportunity to steal a pack of chips from the station's bar while I waited for him, and I'd already pampered my starved stomach. There was a little finger poking my mind – I think it was called guilt –, a result of the action that my lack of money and extreme hunger led to. Honestly, I attempted to distort my moral standards, make it seem as if stealing a pack of chips was no big deal, but that goddamn finger wouldn't stop prodding my brain. _Well, I might as well indulge in self-loathing while I wait for Ethan, the slowest vampire on Earth_. No _– for the thousandth time, Cullen, stop going down that route_. It wasn't healthy.

What had happened only a couple of hours before still confounded me somewhat, and now that I gave it some thought, I felt like I'd been hallucinating. To summarize, a few werewolves had followed me here, figuring that, since their boss was dead, they could just take revenge on a vampire family that'd been responsible for the deaths of close ones, despite the fact that they'd endangered themselves and practically waved a red flag under my family's noses; then, under the belief that the one they planned to kill also hated the Cullens and that these 'careless monsters' hated him in return, they backed off and went home with a wounded conscience, knowing that it was impossible for them to avenge their friends' deaths, and one or two of them clearly wanted to extort a large sum of money from me. I wasn't sure if grief could mess with one's head so badly. The Children of the Moon were no longer these culturally miserable, analphabetic people who lived in caves and focused on staying alive. They were an abundant species, a group of civilized citizens who displayed, unfortunately, a type of behavior that I would never be comfortable with. I didn't really want to think about the reasons for that, because they made me see people that I was supposed to love in a different light. My biological father, for instance. I'd loved him – I still loved him –, but he hadn't been a very honest man, really, and I felt sort of…ashamed, as if I didn't deserve any of the presents I was given, or such a good education, or even the music lessons… It simply wasn't fair that people who worked harder than my father had weren't able to provide their children with the means that I'd had access to without lifting a finger.

Anyway, that didn't mean I had to be like him. I touched my stomach and immediately smiled, thinking that Thomas would be given a stable life thanks to my hard work and not a couple of lies that could get my ass saved.

My eyes travelled in the direction of the large clock that hung on the wall I was facing. Ethan had said he'd be here in three hours, which meant that I honestly didn't have to wait so long. I could see through the tall window the sun falling and the sky being painted in messy stripes of orange and pink. I used to think that the beauty of twilight was nothing but an illusion, a fleeting pleasure that I could indulge in, always aware that darkness approached, that yet another day of light, when, perhaps, I'd had a chance to feel a little better, was coming to an end – there was no hope left, no dreams to attenuate the loneliness that rested inside my bones.

But, right now, in this nearly empty station, with sleep clouding my vision, I could only smile faintly, appreciate whatever I had to appreciate – I couldn't exactly remember what it was, but I knew I had something to be thankful for – and allow the loveliness of the sunset to calm my spirit. I rubbed my hands against my arms and hugged myself for a little while. And I thanked the Lord. After that, I closed my eyes and leaned the side of my head against the wall.

«-»

"Hey, kid," a gentle voice whispered, and an equally gentle hand landed on my shoulder. "Come on, Edward, wake up."

The sky had become a flat Persian blue rug while I'd been sleeping, so deeply that it took me more than a minute to realize that I was not alone, and when I opened my eyes, I saw, first of all, a pair of ochre orbs. Ethan, like most vampires, was a very handsome man, and I was willing to bet that he'd been in his thirties when he'd been changed. I took a deep breath and scrubbed my hands over my face, brushed the sleep off my eyes. The strands of Ethan's sandy hair gained a definite outline. The dim light that shone down on us from above made me squint, realize that it was probably time to leave this place and notice the sincerity in my new companion's kind smile. I wanted to trust this man. Maybe I already did, seeing as I allowed him to guide me towards the exit without asking him where we were going, what he was planning to do. I knew only that he was kind, that he wished me no harm and that he owned a very nice-looking car.

"You must be cold," he murmured once we were inside, turning the heater on. I rubbed my hands together.

"Ethan?" I said quietly. The car was parked in a dismal street, sided by houses that appeared to be about to crumble, and the silence of the night – the kind of silence that doesn't speak – enabled every word we exchanged to be heard with perfect clarity, no matter how lowly it was uttered.

"Yes?" he said, handing me a dark blue backpack.

"Hi."

I heard him chuckle while I rummaged through the contents in the backpack. "Hi," he whispered. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you."

"Likewise," I said distantly. Picking up the large sweatshirt that I found in the bag, I wondered if he knew what the piece of clothing meant to me, how much comfort it gave me, and I immediately shrugged off the hoodie I'd been wearing for days, so that I could put on the recently bought sweatshirt. It still bore the smell of a clothes shop.

"There's something in the bag that I'm sure you'd like to use now."

Indeed, there were things there that I'd thought I'd never have the chance to set my eyes on again. My documents. My mobile phone. Sleep deprivation usually made me edgy, but tonight I just craved silence, and I was just a trifle weepy. A line of salty water rested on my lower eyelashes.

"Where did you find this?"

Ethan grimaced. "Ephraim hid your things in the car trunk."

"Thank you," I mumbled, and the threads of water became heavier. As soon as I got a hold of my cell phone, I searched for Dad's number in my contacts' list and immediately hit the call button when I found it. I couldn't have heard more than two rings, before Carlisle's voice reached my ear, strained and panicky.

"Edward? Edward, is that you?"

"Dad…" The sides of my lips curled up. I blinked, and two weighty tears fell. "Dad, I'm fine. I'm fine," I rushed to reassure him. How was the family doing, I wanted to ask. How was Jacob? I hoped in vain that my disappearance hadn't caused them too much stress, that they hadn't exploited themselves as they tried to get some information about my whereabouts.

He sighed heavily, and I swear I heard him curse under his breath. "Thank God. Thank the Lord. Where are you, son?"

"I'm in Switzerland right now, but please don't come here. I'm with…I'm with someone who's going to help me get back home. I'll be home soon. I promise."

"Edward, you have to give me more than that. Who are you with? May I speak to them?"

Ethan had already started the car, and he now stared at me with serenity in his tawny eyes, showing that he didn't object to the idea. Yet, the more we delayed our return, the weepier I got, the harder it was for me to contain my restlessness, the more I missed Jacob, my family, my room. I knew that explaining everything to Dad right now wasn't the wisest idea, because I could already imagine him posing questions that Ethan would only be able to answer in a face-to-face situation, when we weren't being pushed by the recent events, by the fresh memories, in an environment where neither of us felt comfortable.

I felt so _tired_.

"Not right now, Dad," I murmured, letting my head rest on the car window. "You'll meet him soon. Tell Jacob not to worry too much, please."

I hung up before he could say anything else, closed my eyes and fell asleep to the rumbling of the car engine, my mind finally at ease.

_Maybe not tomorrow, but soon. Soon, I'd be home. My sweet, sweet home._

**A/N: Well, hello, faithful readers, and thank you so much for sticking with me. I do realize that the time I waste doing nothing while you patiently wait for another chapter causes many of you to think that I've given up on this story, but that isn't true. I can't promise you that my updates will be quick, only that I **_**will **_**finish this fic before we move on to the ones I've already begun to write. Finally, Ed is free of all this drama, and now he can come back into the arms of a very worried Jacob. I hope you've enjoyed reading this chapter, and, who knows, maybe it won't take me too long to write the next one.** **If you wish to review, oh, please, do follow that lovely wish – I really, really don't mind. Also, happy birthday, Edward. How old? 17? Again? Damn, boy…**


	22. Of course, it could only be you

EPOV

My cell phone was ringing.

I was certain that I hadn't slept for more than a couple of hours, and the urge to go on snoring and dreaming about something that was not related to furious werewolves and obsessed kidnappers almost won against the realization that this was an important call. The ringing was relentless, however, and after a while, it was impossible to ignore it. I pushed myself up on my elbow, wiped the drool off the corner of my mouth and picked up the vibrating device from the bedside table. The window on the opposite side of the room showed a starless sky, congested with clouds that seemed to be on the verge of tears.

"Hello?" I croaked.

"Where the fuck are you?"

I laughed. Because that was the voice I wanted to hear right now. Because of the way he spoke. I laughed in relief, and sinking beneath my joy, I slid off the low mattress and sat on the floor with my back against the side of the bed. Outside, the sky rumbled, and the dark clouds finally began to weep.

"Jake," I sighed. "Is that any way of greeting your boyfriend, you dickhead?"

"Ed…" His voice was only a whisper, but I could hear both the worry and the relief, and I wondered how it was possible to reconcile the two, wondered what he could possibly be thinking to sound like that. "What happened? Did you run? Are you okay?"

I was tempted to mock him a little for making so many questions at the same time, take the pressure off my own chest, but the idea completely vanished from my head when I imagined him in his bedroom, walking back and forth and breathing heavily, possibly overrun with anxiety. It wasn't my intention to stress him out any further, so I chose not to be an inconsiderate little prick and answer all of his questions. Ephraim was dead. Yes, I had run. God, yes, I was more than okay. It didn't matter that my eyelids were burning, or that my limbs resembled butter in that moment. Jacob was on the phone with me, and we were both safe. Contentment was practically coming out of my pores.

"I thought…" I heard him swallow heavily. "I thought he'd…done…something to you."

_I thought he would, _I wanted to say. Perhaps, then, I could just tell him between chuckles that I hadn't given him the chance, make his great-grandfather's murder seem like a victory, laugh in triumph just as I had after plunging a screwdriver into his neck. But that wasn't how I felt about what'd happened, and I doubted that Jake would believe me if I tried to pretend that this hadn't scarred me. I couldn't quite understand why getting used to something didn't mean feeling less horrified. I'd killed people before, and so had Jacob and my family – whether they knew this or not, vampires and lycanthropes were also people, because they also had free-will. Minds – mine in particular – were very confusing. I could tell myself that I'd done what any other person would do and what my family and the wolf pack were planning on doing as many times as I wished, but that wouldn't erase that black spot in my head, that small whirl of memories and guilt.

"Just…He shoved his tongue in my mouth a couple of times." I shuddered. "And I think he left some bruises. Aside from that,…nothing."

He was quiet for a few seconds.

"Are you really okay?" he said at last.

I considered the question for a minute, feeling like we were still communicating through our happy inhales and tired exhales. His breathing told me that he was patiently waiting for an answer, that despite his discreet delight, he was still worried about me. But he was willing to wait. I dropped my chin between my knees and smiled into the rumpled fabric of my sweatpants. I remembered when we'd begun to get closer to each other, what it'd felt like to be cared about by someone I didn't know that well. The warmness within my chest expanded, just like it did then, and I hummed in appreciation, because the feeling was not foreign now. Because a lot had changed for the better. That was a pretty good reason to smile. I could be honest with Jacob, talk to him about anything I wanted and unashamedly admit that I _wasn't _okay. Perhaps he wouldn't understand, but at least he would try.

"No."

The sound of the rain was a calming, comforting one. Combined with Jacob's breathing, it had a lulling effect on me. My eyelids were beginning to droop, but I forced myself to stay awake, so that I could talk to him for a bit longer. I had plenty of time to sleep on the airplane that would take me home, or in the passenger seat of Ethan's car. Tomorrow would be filled with naps, drives, and conversations that I didn't want to think about for now.

"Jake…" I murmured, his name nearly blending in with the silence in the room. I remembered his hazel-brown eyes, the odd mixture of emotions that so often swam in their depth, and his full lips, their simple taste, which made it unbelievably easy to kiss them. I rubbed my forehead against my knee, and the fabric of my sweatpants reminded me of the silkiness of the russet-brown skin that covered the high planes of his face, the overwhelming adoration that softened his eyes when he looked down at me, his arms locked into place around my waist. He'd make a joke, and I'd laugh, and even if we'd been fighting just seconds before, it would all be okay again. And then he'd promise me the most incredible of things, and the absolute sincerity that would stretch across his beautiful face would have me vowing to myself that I would do everything in power to keep him in my life until it was all over for good. He promised – he promised he would stick with me through the pregnancy, that he would raise my child as if it was his. My hand found my swollen stomach, and my head searched wildly through all the possible futures that we could stumble upon. In every single one of them, happiness was a certainty. It was all because of _him_. My Jacob.

"Yeah?" he breathed.

I waited a second or two, and then said, "I love you."

"Well, ex-leech, I love you, too."

"But _I love you, _Jacob."

"Most ardently?" he teased.

I chuckled. "Most certainly. You're a precious one, kid." And he was. I'd wandered this planet for more than a century and I'd never found someone whose soul blazed so brightly as his, whose exquisiteness remained untouchable through such hard times, attached to all that _snark_, all that simplicity, which washed over you like a breath of fresh air, straight out from the sea.

"Oh, man, gotta start writing poems for you now," he said with a heavy sigh. "Wait, I can just say it back again – I love you, too. And, you know, I'm sorry."

I tried to blink away the bleariness that cloaked my eyes, but it was in vain. "What for?" I asked sleepily.

The question was met with utter silence, and I waited for more than a minute, until I realized that I couldn't so much as hear his breathing. Panic took hold of me as I distanced the cell phone from my ear and held it in front of my face. Its dark screen offered no signs of utility upon my touch, and I sighed in frustration when I remembered the faint bleeps that I'd heard during our conversation, which were a warning for low battery. I hadn't intended to end the call so soon, but the truth was that my eyes were straining to stay open and my mind was drifting in and out of reality. I lay down on the motel bed again, feeling almost angry at the realization that I would only have a chance to talk with Jacob again when I finally arrived in Forks. Soon, however, all my frustration faded as sleep clouded my mind and took me to an imaginary land.

When I woke up again, it was well past ten in the morning, and the dark clouds that had overloaded the sky during the night were beginning to disperse, allowing mid-morning sunrays to dance over the furniture in the modest room. There was an expected throb behind my eyelids, and despite my somewhat long siesta, my muscles still felt drained of most of their energy. My bones popped when I stretched, and the sound made me wince slightly. Remembering that Ethan had told me to be downstairs before midday, in the breakfast area, I stood up to go take a much needed shower, hoping that it could put a stop to my zombie-like behavior. After all, I had more than enough reasons to be in high spirits: Ethan had about everything ready for my return, including the plane tickets and the reasonable deal of luggage that I would take with me. I was well aware that there were still things that needed to be taken care of and a lot of questions that had yet to be answered, but when the realization that I was mere hours away from getting on the plane that would take me home truly sank in, I freed a heartfelt laugh, while I also took in the flowery sheets that covered the two motel beds and the Georgian unvarnished furniture predictably distributed around the small room. Esme would cringe in horror, I thought amusedly.

Ethan was already waiting for me when I showed up in the breakfast area, and when he sensed my presence, he looked up from the French newspaper that he'd laid on the table and offered me a small smile. I'd put on a simple pair of jeans and a plain sweatshirt, seeking, as always, only warmth and comfort, but I knew that I looked nowhere near as tired as I had the night before, and Ethan was clearly happy for that. I could _definitely _trust him, I thought with a sigh of relief. I wasn't so much of a fool that I was unable to perceive the guarded longing in his eyes, of course – not for me, but for something or someone that I could lead him to –, but he was a genuinely kind person.

"Good morning," I greeted him as I sat down. There was basket with croissants on the table, as well as a pot of coffee and a jar of orange juice.

"Good morning," he returned. "Did you sleep well?"

I smirked slightly, pouring some juice into my glass. "Who is it?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Who is it that holds your heart?"

Ethan stalled. His eyes were wide as saucers, burning with secrets that he'd kept for too long, and my playful smirk quickly turned into a warm smile. It was the least I could do for him – listen to what he had to say, and do so attentively and with openness. Ethan gulped, and I understood then that this was a particularly difficult subject for him. And I also understood, with some wariness, that the person he'd fallen in love with was someone that he thought I felt protective of.

He dropped his gaze suddenly and took a deep and readying breath. "Should have known you were more perceptive than the others," he muttered.

I swallowed a mouthful of juice. "You can tell me," I said, trying to encourage him.

"I married young," he said quietly. "Things were difficult at the time. I don't think you remember much of it, especially because, from what Ephraim told me, you were from a high-class family." I nodded, confirming what he said. "But I wasn't. Child labor seemed to be merely frowned upon, and so as soon as I was able to walk, my single mother got me a _job." _He chuckled humorlessly. "I worked in many different factories, in many different places, until I stopped in Washington D.C., where I met someone that brightened my hopes for the future. Maud was her name." His eyes glazed over. "She was lovely," he whispered.

I readied myself for a sad tale, while I attempted to veil my surprise at the fact that Ethan and I had been born around the same time.

He continued, "Maud and I were both poor, so it was a long while before we had enough money to travel. That was our dream, the one thing that kept us strong and connected through all the wretched events that made so many of us give up – the Great War, the epidemic, and even the roaring 20's."

Anyone would be baffled by the last part of what he'd just told me, but I could see where he was coming from. More than simply difficult to deal with, the 20's had been horrifying for me, despite my attempts at thinking of my 'dark years' as a normal period in a vampire's course of existence. The amount of depravity that filled the heads of the vile beings I'd killed was enough to traumatize anyone for the rest of their lives. But I could also see it from Ethan's point of view – a sensible person such as himself was bound to feel significantly revolted upon seeing so many people wasting all they had on a vast number of trivialities, when he'd worked so hard to sustain himself. I couldn't help but label all those poor souls' behavior as a response to an existential crisis. I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes and decided to focus on Ethan's story.

"We knew, of course, that life in Europe was much more difficult than in the States, but what mattered to us at that point was meeting different people and cultures," he explained. "We left just after the Wall Street crash, faintly hoping that things would look brighter in England on an economic level."

I raised an eyebrow. "That was kind of stupid," I observed without a second thought. My face reddened when my own rudeness registered in my mind.

Ethan released a humorless chuckle. "Indeed," he mumbled. I was sure that it was not the table cloth that he was seeing right now. "My dear Maud… I should have listened to her. I should have stayed with her."

"You fought in the war?" I guessed. I needed no calculations – Ethan hadn't been a vampire for very long. Yet, he had the self-control of a one-hundred-year-old immortal.

It was undeniably impressive.

He nodded slowly, still lost in his memories. "We argued. Heatedly. This time my patient nature could not outweigh her usual hotheadedness, and I made the rash decision to join a war that I knew nearly nothing about. I volunteered in Spain."

_That was kind of stupid, _I wanted to say again. I stuffed my mouth with nearly half of a croissant in order to be sure that nothing embarrassing came out of it.

"I never saw her again," he whispered, and a deep crease appeared between his eyebrows. His eyes looked pained. "It was after our company had taken over a small town which had been occupied by rebels, on a hot, dry night. That was when I fell prey to an unknown vampire, in the middle of an olive tree field. As you must already know, it is not uncommon for us vampires to take advantage of a human war to better feed ourselves. She – I do believe it was a woman – caught me while I was... taking care of needs." He squirmed slightly. I, of course, didn't laugh at this, no matter how strange the situation that he was describing appeared to be. I gave him a small nod, encouraging him to go on. Ethan took a deep breath. "I was left there, in the field, with enough blood necessary for the venom to take effect. The fights between Republicans and Nationalists continued, shots rang out, and screams were heard. Overall, there was enough noise to mute the sound of my agony."

"What about your company? Didn't your colleagues search for you?"

Ethan's lips curled up a bit, but his caramel-colored eyes were filled with sadness. "Edward, as I said, the fights continued."

I grimaced, imagining a village with white houses and a small church being destroyed as dozens of men fell to the ground, howling in pain. "So… what did you do when you woke up?" I questioned, effectively erasing those awful images from my mind.

Ethan's smile faded. "I had no idea how I had survived, of course, or why I felt so different. I hid in a vacant old chapel and soon found out that I didn't need to eat or sleep, even though my throat burnt with the need for something. Despite my confusion, I decided that returning to England, to my Maud, was the best course of action. At least there were people there that I could trust. Even if they didn't know what was wrong with me, they would help me without a second thought."

For about half a minute, I waited for him to carry on with his story – rather anxiously, to be honest –, but Ethan seemed to have immersed himself in his memories. His shoulders had sagged while he told me his tale, and his lips were now pressed into a narrow line. There was something about him, about the jaded expression that was fixed on his face, that I found oddly familiar. Nibbling the rest of my croissant, I thought about what it could be. Obviously, Ethan had every reason to look so miserable, considering his awful past, but there was something besides _that, _a dark feeling that I remembered being very well acquainted with. Suddenly, he raised his hand and took a look at the silver watch on his wrist.

"Have you finished your breakfast?" he asked, but he didn't wait answer. Instead, he stood up and said brusquely, "We have to go now, or else we'll miss our flight."

And he didn't breathe another word in my presence until we were on our way to the Charles de Gaulle Airport, in Paris, which was about four hours away from Strasbourg, where Ethan had stopped the night before so that I could rest appropriately. His demeanor didn't surprise me, but it did make me uncomfortable. I was a bundle of nerves, anxiousness crawling beneath my skin at the prospect of going back home, combined with joyous anticipation, and the silence that hung in the car as Ethan drove us to our destination certainly didn't help my situation. But I tried to distract myself as best as I could, deducing that Ethan needed some time to think about what else he should tell me. Strasbourg really was lovely – lovelier than most of the cities I remembered visiting in the past, although it shared some resemblance with Frankfurt, in Germany. I was so used to walking past white Victorian houses and facing intimidating skyscrapers that I often forgot that there were places on Earth that didn't look so different from what they had been like hundreds of years ago, with their timber-framed houses and gothic cathedrals, tall enough to be seen from a considerable distance.

We soon left the streets of Strasbourg behind, however, and entered the freeway. The air seemed to become thicker with tension, and this time I had no idea how I could stop myself from wondering just how bad the next part of Ethan's tale was and resisting the urge to ask him what had happened when he arrived in England. I diverted my gaze from the blurring woods on the other side of the car window and cast a glance at him. His jaw was tightly locked and his brow was heavy with apprehension and…something else…

It was self-loathing, I realized with a sharp inhale. Why would someone as kind as Ethan despise himself?

"You okay?" he questioned distractedly.

"What happened when you went back to England?"

Ethan's hands tightened around the steering wheel, before he threw me a glance from the corner of his eye. I waited with bated breath for a verbal response, growing hopeless when almost a minute had passed and he still hadn't said anything.

But eventually he opened his mouth to speak. "For years, Ephraim and I were simply friends," he quietly said. "He found me in a rat-infested alley, with my head hanging between my knees, and he came to my aid. Like a desperate fool, I accepted his help with no questions. He told me simply that he knew what I was, that it was all okay and that I didn't have to be a monster – he told me about the yellow-eyed vampires, who drank only from animals. The idea made me hopeful, of course. And knowing that I was no longer alone also lifted my spirits considerably. I hadn't spoken to a single soul in years. Right then, Ephraim was my savior." My stomach clenched at his words. I honestly couldn't imagine Ephraim as anything but a monster. "He confessed that he wasn't human either and then started making questions about my gift, which I didn't know about at the time, claiming that there were times when he felt drained of his supernatural abilities. This usually happened when I was in distress, we soon found out – it was an immediate reaction to a possible threat."

"What can you do exactly?"

"Well…" he chuckled unexpectedly. "It's a weird gift, I suppose. I can make shape-shifters, werewolves and vampires lose all their supernatural abilities – their strength, their heightened senses, their ability to heal so fast, and even their gifts – without even thinking about it. I've learned how to control it with time and only put it to use when I really want to now."

Ethan was way more powerful than I could have imagined, I thought with widened eyes. "You said that their ability to heal faster than a human also vanishes. That means that it's not a mental gift."

"That's correct." He nodded.

"Holy crap," I mumbled under my breath. "So, what happened after you befriended…Ephraim?"

He frowned. "We had an easy friendship, even though there were things about him that I couldn't understand, like why he disappeared for extended periods of time, or where he'd gotten all that money. I never asked him, afraid that he'd push me away, but I always suspected that–"

"–the money wasn't his." I smiled wryly.

"Exactly. Some years went by, and finally, you came up in one of our conversations." He stopped for a couple of seconds, eyeing me with sadness. "He described the moment he saw you for the first time in perfect detail, said that he _knew _you loved him as much as he loved you."

I fought the urge to shudder. "N-no, I…I never…"

"I know," he said quickly. "But, at the time, I trusted him more than I trusted myself, and I didn't doubt that what he was saying was true. He told me also that you were a member of an antagonistic coven, that he could see that you weren't happy there. So, he asked me for a favor – in the gentlest way, he pleaded with me to go to Forks and use my gift to, well, abduct you, to take you to where you belonged, where he would make you happy. I know now that wasn't what was bound to happen, but, right then, I didn't question his true intentions and, without a second thought, I travelled to the Olympic Peninsula… Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," I ground out, touching my stomach carefully. Thomas was having one of _those_ moments, and the fact that I was listening to the methods Ephraim had used to make me his certainly didn't help. The mere thought sickened me. "Just…Just go on." My eyes were screwed shut, so I couldn't see his reaction to this.

"Um…As I was saying, I travelled to the Olympic Peninsula, where I first saw you…with…Bella. She…I knew – I just knew – she was the one for me."

This made me sit up straighter, despite the pain in my stomach. "What?" I breathed out.

"The more time I spent watching you two, the more enamored I became and the more I admired you for your self-control, the physical pain that you put yourself through to be with her," he whispered. There was a broken edge to his voice. "You were so much better for her than I could ever be."

"Ethan…you…" I'd had my suspicions, of course, but hearing him say it aloud made me realize that he and I had more in common than I'd expected. While I'd berated myself, thinking that Bella deserved better than me, someone else had admired my efforts from afar, thinking that he was _worse _than me. "Why would you say that? Your self-control is perfect, or, at least, damn near perfect."

"In case you were wondering, you didn't hear my thoughts because I exerted my power on you."

"You didn't answer my question."

Ethan drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. "I managed to convince Ephraim to wait… while you were still with her. I gave him the impression that it wouldn't be a long-lasting relationship. The last thing I wanted was to separate you two, even if it hurt me to watch you together. Eventually, though, I found out, during one of my regular visits, that you were getting married. And when Ephraim discovered this, after coercing me into telling him why I seemed so upset, his demeanor changed somewhat. He still treated me as his friend, but he started to bring strange people into the house we shared – suspicious-looking humans and Children of the Moon. And he seemed more…agitated. He disappeared for a while and when he came back, appearing to be more distressed than ever, he said that someone had…hurt you."

"Someone?" I bit out. "The bastard! It was him."

"I figured as much when I found him dead," he murmured. "But I believed him, then. And when he said that your family and Bella had turned their backs on you and that it was time for us to help you, I agreed. My…visits…became more frequent, and I realized that, after all, you were not alone. You had Jacob. You weren't together yet, but you seemed very close. When I reported this to Ephraim, he seemed almost…angry. I didn't understand at the time, because I'd never thought he wanted something besides _your _happiness. He didn't ask me for any more favors for a while, until he told me that he wanted me to go to Forks and keep Jacob busy while he…took you away from there. And that was when he started to treat me not only as a friend, but also as his right arm."

My nostrils flared as the pain in my stomach grew stronger. "Why in the hell did you agree to do that?" I groaned.

"I'm sorry," he rushed out. "I thought you deserved a chance at real love, the kind that Ephraim could give you."

"Agh, no…"

"I'm sorry," he repeated. "I didn't know. I swear I didn't know. And…the whole time I helped him with his plan, I felt awful for tearing you two apart. I convinced myself, however, that it was for the best. Ephraim had everything ready: a beautiful house in Tuscany that overlooked great plantations. No one would look for you there. I thought of this as an advantage: in case your family decided to bring you more pain, they would never guess that you'd be so close to Volterra. It was a rather isolated place, perfect for the development of your pregnancy. Edward? Oh, Lord, what's wrong?"

"I don't feel so well," I admitted. The pain in my stomach had intensified while I listened to him, and although his words had managed to register in my mind, I couldn't really decide what I felt about what he was telling me, so distracting was the tightening in my belly. And there was just something, down below, that seemed to be going through a rough stretch, as if two hands were trying to rip it apart. _Oh, God, please may Thomas be okay_. I braced myself against the glove compartment as a wave of dizziness hit me in full-force, feeling as if the car had suddenly been lifted from the road, and my vision swam when I opened my eyes. A freezing-cold hand touched my shoulder, and I inhaled deeply through my nose, trying to get my breathing under control.

"You're sweating," he informed quietly. _Indeed_, I thought. I felt much warmer than usual, and the roots of my hair, just near my forehead, felt damp. "Do you want me to stop?"

I curled my hand into a fist and attempted to organize my thoughts. Did I want him to stop? Was it worth it? This wasn't the first time that something like this happened, and the pain had eventually vanished all those other times. I didn't want him to stop – not now, when the truth was finally being spilled, and not when I was so much closer to getting on an airplane. I shook my head quickly, and a few droplets of sweat ran down my temples.

"I'm…I'm okay." It wasn't a lie, entirely: I was on my way to being okay. The bearable ache in my stomach was proof of that, even if that _something, _in a lower region, was still being…pulled. It both surprised and worried me: this had never happened before. "Please, go on," I said with a strained voice.

"Edward, really, if you need anything, tell me." He gave me a sincerely comforting look. "Please."

"Don't worry. I'm fine," I assured him. This time I meant it. "So, you didn't know about the little game he played with my family?"

Ethan furrowed his eyebrows. "Why would he do that?"

"To distract them, obviously. He just threw these… fake signs in our way to confuse us further."

"I thought they'd abandoned you," he said, surprised.

"I…No…" I shook my head. "I was the one who left them. Couldn't handle being judged for something I hadn't done. But I made peace with them a long time ago. Didn't you ever wonder why Ephraim took so long to carry out his plan? He couldn't do it with my family in the way."

"Makes sense…" he mumbled.

The play that I'd been sent, about the Fool who could not go to Hell for being so innocent, and the small message that accompanied it were also fake signs, I realized suddenly. Not a plea from Ethan.

Ephraim definitely wasn't stupid. But what had been his intention? Make me believe that he wasn't really at fault for what he'd done so that I accepted whatever he was planning on doing to me afterwards? Because this wasn't a plea for a bit of sympathy, or a cry for forgiveness, or even an attempt to win me over – Ephraim didn't care if I understood him or not; he didn't care if I loved him or not. Even the way he'd described me in his head that day in the forest was – I remembered with a shudder – laced with sarcasm, with joy at the fact that I was weaker than him, that he could easily hurt me.

Ephraim didn't love me. He'd never loved me. He'd just wanted to see me suffer at his hands.

I released a shaky breath.

"He had his _employees_ do all of that for him," I deduced. "And he hid himself behind your name. Made a fool out of you."

I cast a glance at Ethan, who stared ahead pensively. I noticed that his chin was trembling slightly, and, with a hard gulp, I recalled all he'd said about their friendship. It was difficult for me to put myself in his shoes, so I could barely imagine what he was going through right now. Ephraim had been all he'd had: it must have hurt like hell to find out that he'd been lied to all these years.

"I'm really sorry, Ethan," I whispered. "Is…is there something I can do for you?"

Ethan smiled sadly. "Perceptive as you are, you must have guessed that there is, indeed, something that I long for."

"What?" I asked, trying to keep my voice neutral.

"A moment with Bella. Just that. Just a chance to talk to her, even if nothing comes out of it."

I chuckled. "That's something that can certainly be arranged."

"Thank you."

"No." I shook my head. "Thank _you_."

With that, I leaned my body against the car door and closed my eyes as sleep threatened to overcome me again. I felt drained after that horrible moment of pain, which had thankfully passed, and it didn't take long for me to fall asleep, lulled by the hum of the car engine. Ethan had to shake my shoulder to bring me back to the real world.

"Edward," he called in a low voice. "We're here."

Blearily, I took a look around me and realized that we were already at the airport.

"Ethan," I said suddenly, while I lifted my luggage from the car trunk. "What happened when you arrived in England?"

Ethan froze, his posture stiffening as if someone was about to come out of nowhere to attack him. I understood now that whatever had taken place after he left Spain had caused him to hate himself. My mind jumped from possibility to possibility. Perhaps his bloodlust had been too much and he'd accidentally killed an innocent, or maybe he'd found his singer and had been unable to resist the temptation. Or, perchance, someone he loved had passed away during his absence…

"I killed her," he murmured. "She was just standing there, in the middle of our field of lettuce, in the back of our little camp house, with her face turned up. Her dark hair was dampened by the pleasant drizzle that fell from the sky. She was just as beautiful as ever, my Maud…" His voice got thinner. "But her blood… it sang to me. And I couldn't… I couldn't walk away."

It was even worse than I'd expected, and I tried to think of something that could make him feel better, but nothing came to mind. It was a truly awful thing to happen to someone like him. _Goddamn vampire instincts_.

"I went back to the United States," he continued. "Eventually, I embraced my vampire nature and lived as a human-drinking nomad for a while, until loneliness caught up with me. That's when Ephraim showed up."

We walked in silence towards the terminal building, until I spoke up. "You don't deserve any of this, Ethan." I received a hopeful look from him. "You're a good man, and I'm sure Bella will love getting to know you."

Ethan's eyes slid shut as the wind picked up and ruffled his sandy hair. "Yes," he said in a stronger voice. "Let's hope so."

«-»

It was about six o'clock in Seattle when our plane landed.

I descended the rolling staircase with the sense that my head had been filled with cotton while I slept, but when I became aware of my surroundings, when I _really _took in the fact that I was only four hours away from home, my heart almost jumped out of my chest. Hope and relief coursed through my veins, heating my blood until it shimmered in excitement. I still felt a slight ache when I remembered what Ethan had endured and how he still felt now, but as I looked over my shoulder at him, I was met with a joyous smile and a pair of twinkling eyes, so I pushed it aside while we waited for a cab. The sky was overcast with dark clouds, and, judging from their apparent heaviness, I guessed that it wouldn't be long before it started raining buckets. I reached for my backpack, in search of something that could protect me from the weather, but, apparently, Ethan hadn't bought anything that resembled what I needed now.

"Hey, E…" I trailed off when I saw that he wasn't behind me anymore. I looked around to see if I could spot him, as a tendril of panic wrapped around my heart and squeezed. Had the idea of meeting my family scared him? Where the hell was he? Surely, he couldn't have simply left without saying anything–

A large hand suddenly fell on my shoulder, and as I tried to cast a glance at the person that it belonged to, already panicky because of Ethan's unexpected disappearance, I saw dark skin and a towering frame. Inevitably, the memory of Ephraim gripping my shoulder in the backseat of his car, while Myles drove across Brooklyn, flashed through my mind, and I yelped loudly.

"Shh, it's just me."

"Jake!" I nearly cried out. His hands ran up and down my arms as he leaned down. Damn, he was even more beautiful than I remembered, even though there were dark circles under his hazelnut-brown eyes, which…were staring into mine in a very strange way. "Hey, you okay?"

I got the odd sense that Jacob couldn't even hear me, not with the medley of emotions that seemed to pour out of his eyes. I'd seen him look at me with adoration adorning his face many times before, but this was… This was more – so much more. Jacob was looking at me as if I'd won the Nobel Prize and walked across the stage in my best suit to receive my trophy; there were tears in his eyes, and his full dark lips were parted. And the image was so intense that I felt like I could barely breathe.

"Jake?" I tried again, bringing my hands up to touch his face and tracing the circles under his eyes with my thumbs. This whole ordeal had caused him to lose the sleep he needed. _Goddamnit._

Jacob chuckled wetly. "Ex-leech, what the hell happened to your cell phone?"

Before I could answer, he tilted my chin upwards with a gentle movement and leaned down to capture my lips in a deep kiss, just as a violent gust of wind ran past my ears and the clouds reached their saturation point. Jacob's strong arms snaked around my waist, bringing me closer to him, to his heat, and I opened my mouth when his velvety tongue ran along my upper lip, not caring a bit that it'd started to rain heavily. His pinewood scent filled my lungs, fresh and so _familiar, _and I could swear that there was nothing in the world that could feel so much like heaven. I sighed into the kiss.

Jacob pulled back slightly, his chest rising and falling under my hand. "Of course, it could only be you," he breathed out.

And all of a sudden, it clicked.

"Jacob, did you just–"

"Yeah!" He laughed, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and pecking my temple. "Fuck, yes… Let's get you home, ex-leech."

«-»

**A.N.: Okay, my lovely people, here is our 22****nd**** chapter, and I hope you liked it. Just in case you were wondering, no, it wasn't beta'd, because I lost track of my beta. Again. Okay. Um, yeah, you can be a dear and leave a review if you want, and I sincerely hope you're having a great day or night. 'Till soon, folks **


	23. Do you think they know about Thomas?

JPOV

The moment when Edward's green eyes met mine was when it happened, and I was certain, right then and there, that it would be a permanent mark in my existence, a perfect picture, painted in vivid tones, forever carved in my mind. All at once, I took notice of the dark dot on the side of Edward's nose, a tiny rebel that stood out amongst all of his other freckles; the birthmark on his long neck, not any bigger than my belly-button, somewhat shaped like an oak-tree leave; and the point where his upper lashes met his lower lashes, forming an angle that pointed just slightly upwards. At the same time, I was aware of the worry that colored his face, engraving two short lines between his eyebrows, the evident concern in his voice as he spoke to me, asking me if I was okay, and the fast, steady thumping of his heart.

The world had never known such a blissful sound.

The beating of my own heart drummed in my ears, loudly and majestically – I thought my chest would burst with the sheer _glory _expressed in these tunes. Because this was victory, I was sure. This was _proof _that there could be no one else for me – there couldn't possibly be anyone else in the world with enough power to complete me as he did.

I'd found who I needed a long time ago, and not long after that, I'd made him mine. And now the spirits were giving me the certainty that I was his, too – _completely his. _I saw myself in the near future, holding him in my arms, his back to my chest, while I rubbed his swollen stomach. I saw him lying on _my_ bed, in _my_ bedroom, sleeping soundly, as morning rays of sunlight played over the alabaster skin that covered his lean back. I saw us two kissing under the moonlight, in our private place, his long legs wrapped around my waist as I pounded into him, on top of the soft grass that bordered our pond. Tears sprang to my eyes, and I tried in vain to conceal the sensations that washed over me by asking him what'd happened to his cell phone. It was stupid thing to do, I realized – Edward deserved to know how much I loved him.

So, before he could answer, I kissed him.

And I could feel it, then, although our lips didn't move together for more than a few seconds. I could feel something changing in me, a flicker of heat in my chest, which quickly flared up and consumed every fiber of my body, printing a vow on every single one of my veins. _I promise to cherish Edward Cullen until my heart stops beating. I promise to protect him with all the strength I own. I promise to love him more than I could ever love anyone or anything from now onwards. _I had all of this on the tip of my tongue – had had it for more than a couple of months now –, ready to be said out loud, but I hadn't really thought of it like this, with so much honesty and confidence. I hadn't really thought of it as an eternal oath.

I hadn't felt like this before – like Edward's heartbeat was the only thing anchoring me to the ground.

Despite all this, I still managed to notice the change in the atmosphere while I caressed Edward's soft lips with my own, and just as I thought it wouldn't be long before it started raining, a massive torrent of rain gouts descended upon us, soaking our bodies from head to toe. The force of the change quickly diminished, and though the world seemed a whole lot different now, I gained some semblance of the reality that I knew before. Suddenly, Edward was just Edward, and Jacob was just Jacob, only now we shared an irreparable bond. I remembered that the Cullens were still waiting for us in Forks, that Edward – my imprint – had just untangled himself from a hell of a mess, that he wasn't less jumpy than he'd been during those first weeks after he'd been attacked, and that he'd been brought here by the same blonde bloodsucker who'd nearly cracked my skull open.

And now that I thought about that… Where had he gone? I'd watched him leave Edward's side, of course, and I'd assumed that he must have sensed my presence and decided to give us some privacy, but he didn't seem to be anywhere to be found now.

Not that I really cared.

For now I just wanted to savor the joy of having my ex-leech locked in my embrace, the feeling of having my arms wrapped around his narrow waist, the gentleness of his touch. His parted lips let out quick, shallow breaths, and there was a gleam in his already bright eyes that was all too familiar. I recalled the morning when I'd woke up next to him, after we'd had sex for the first time, and being more than just a little pleased that I was the one to make him feel so good.

"Of course, it could only be you," I said.

_Of course_. It made perfect sense.

"Jacob, did you just-"

"Yeah!" I nearly shouted, my chest rumbling with joyous laughter. "Fuck, yes…" I breathed. "Let's get you home, ex-leech."

As I took a look around me, I took notice of the sandy-haired head that rested against the wall of the building, at a…reasonable distance, near the corner. Reasonable, yes. I didn't want that guy anywhere near me or Edward. It was bad enough that he'd been in his presence all this time. I didn't care that Edward hadn't seemed uncomfortable with him there, didn't care about the reason _why _he was here in the first place. If there was anything that I was willing to deposit on that guy, it was a series of well-given blows. Not my trust. Definitely not my trust. 

"Hey," Edward said, trying to call my attention. His fingers squeezed the flesh on my side gently, and my eyes drifted down to his. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I replied with a smile and then repeated the word in my head. It was nothing. The leech wasn't important; I'd wasted too much time thinking about what his true intentions could have possibly been, and it hadn't been worth it. He wasn't worth my time. As long as he stayed far, far away, I couldn't give two shits about him. There were more significant matters at hand, like the fact that Edward was back and that I wouldn't let anyone separate me from him again, except Edward himself. But the chances were low, so cloud nine was my new home, and I walked to my car with my arm around my imprint's shoulders, a smile on my face and a spring in my step.

"Ethan must have gone ahead," Edward mused once we were on the road. "The family is home, right?"

I raised an eyebrow at him. "I sense a connection there and I'm not sure I like it."

"Someone's got to be there for him when he arrives at the house. But then again there's a slight chance that might not work out well, though I trust Carlisle to handle the situation as best as possible."

"Wow," I mumbled, feeling my throat clogging up with anger and… hurt. The sudden shift in our relationship should have given me the surety I needed about this, or helped me understand why Edward didn't absolutely despise the leech for injuring me, but the truth was that I couldn't come up with any reason why he would be seemingly ignoring it. _Like he didn't care. _"And here I thought that me getting my head almost busted was a good enough reason for you to dislike someone."

The silence that settled in the car, overshadowing the sound of the engine and that of all the traffic surrounding us, made my muscles tense. I didn't quite know what I wanted from him; wanting him to be angry seemed so pathetically immature and petty. The more I mulled over it the more the ache within me grew, spreading like benevolent flames over my chest. I imagined that if it were the other way around I'd be furious, and I thought that, despite how basic it sounded, in order for this to be a fair relationship I should be stopping him from chasing the leech around the town right now. It was ridiculous, I knew that, and because I _knew_ that I felt like I'd just humiliated myself.

"Jacob," he said carefully. His warm hand came up to touch my bicep, and a moment later I felt his lips against my skin. "I still think that something else could've been done which didn't put your safety at stake," he murmured. "You are the most important person in my life next to Thomas, and I don't ever want you to go through any kind of pain at all. But, as you must know, that's inevitable–"

"Are you serious?" I chuckled wryly.

I heard him take a deep breath. "In this case it wasn't, I know. What I meant is that you're made of flesh and bone, and you're bound to feel pain at different points of your life. It means you're not in a stagnant state."

"If you're going to change the subject I'd rather you didn't speak at all." My foot pressed down on the pedal. Edward tightened his hold on my arm.

"You are cared for, Jacob. Do you know how much the thought of you in any sort of dangerous situation disturbs me? I used to imagine that one day you'd become one of… his targets, that he'd find some way to hurt you, and remembering when you _did _get injured made it all the more difficult to tone my worry down. And after how much you've done for me and due to how happy you make me, I can't help but think 'not him'. You, of all people, don't deserve to go through that. You deserve the very best."

My muscles had slackened throughout his small speech, but my heart still beat erratically, this time for a different reason. Every single word that'd left his mouth had managed to empty my mind of the dark feelings that had invaded it for a moment, warming my chest at the same time. And yet, my gaze kept sliding towards the right, my throat somewhat tighter than usual. Edward still had his hand on my arm, his lips pressing against the skin there, like he needed to be in contact with my body in order to show me that he was absolutely serious about what he'd said.

And if there was any word to describe how I felt, it would be _right._

"Well, now I feel kind of stupid." I cleared my throat, and my cheeks became hotter than usual, something that didn't happen frequently.

"It's a legitimate doubt," Edward said. "I _was _quite angry when I found out what Ethan had done to you, until he assured me that you were safe. Besides, he's been helping us both, despite what you may think. And I… owe him one."

"What is it that you owe him exactly?"

"An encounter with Bella."

The ghost of the taste of black coffee swirled inside my mouth, while my butt squirmed on top of the cushioned car seat. I glanced at him from the corner of my eye and saw that he was staring up at me with caution, like he was considering what he should do depending on my reaction. The realization that his sudden alertness was a product of what'd just succeeded hit me like a punch in the gut. What if he thought that I didn't appreciate all the times when he'd comforted me, when he'd been patient with me while I stressed over something I couldn't understand, while he explained things to me? I knew that he cared about me, as strongly as one could care about someone else, and I could recall many times when he'd proved that to me. The last thing I wanted was for him to be at war with himself because I hadn't been able to face something with the maturity I should have by now. Goddamnit, I was going to be a father – I had to start sizing up the consequences of my actions, at the very least.

"Um…" I cleared my throat, my focus returning to what I'd just heard. The idea wasn't as bothersome as much as it was confusing. Why in the hell would the bloodsucker want to meet Bella? Now that she had enough strength to crush me to death, I wasn't too worried. She was perfectly capable of defending herself; the only thing that disturbed me was the possibility of him trying to involve her in some kind of strange business, like the one I believed he'd had with Ephraim. "Why?" I asked simply.

"She's his mate," Edward said. "Ethan submitted to Ephraim's wishes because he was the only friend he had. He had no idea what kind of person he actually was, I can assure you of that."

"That's what he probably _told _you–"

"I _would _know if he were lying to me, which he wasn't. I know it as well as I know that you're not worried about Bella, because you're certain that she is absolutely safe, and it's very likely that you wouldn't feel the same way if she were still human." Edward had sat back in his seat and now stared ahead pensively, his face a bit paler than usual. With a quiet gulp, I remembered that he was the one who was absolutely against Bella's decision to become immortal. He'd told me he didn't wish it on anyone, especially not her, so I could only imagine what he was going through now, knowing that all his efforts to stop her had been in vain.

"What do you mean she's his mate?"

"He's been sort of spying on us for a while…"

"'Sort of'?"

"And that's how he fell in love with Bella, back when I was still with her. Trust me, he'll back off if she decides that she doesn't want anything to do with him. For now he just wants to actually talk to her. Nothing else. Now would you mind telling me what the hell happened while I was gone?"

The few things I'd discovered about Ethan didn't make him any more trustworthy as far as I was concerned. The only things I had to guarantee me that he didn't mean any harm was Edward's word and his nearly infallible talent.

"Bella was attacked on the day that you were taken. According to Alice, it was Demetri, one of the members of the Volturi guard. Your family says there's no point in tracking him down."

"Alice was supposed to have foreseen it," Edward muttered to himself. His green eyes were glassy. "Unless Demetri was given that function… It's not the first time that Aro chooses someone from his guard to make decisions on the behalf of the coven, only now he had to choose someone else besides Jane."

"Do you know why he would decide to change her?"

"The most important question would be why he would decide to change her _now._" Edward's voice was laced with wariness. "The Volturi have been pressuring my family with this for a while… I'm confused about why they didn't outright kill the whole family under the excuse that we've broken the law. They've been waiting for a mistake on our part... We're too big a coven, with powerful members, and they're afraid we might become a threat, provided that Alice and I continue refusing Aro's proposal."

My eyes narrowed. "I don't think you'd be any use to them now."

"But they don't…" he trailed off, his gaze lost in a world that only he could see. A short, wry laugh escaped his mouth. "I mean, how would they know?"

"You think the Volturi know that you became human?"

"Why would Demetri track Bella down? Why didn't he search for our family instead? If he wasn't trying to tell us something, all of this would be more formal. What'd stop them from barging into our home and do their business, Jake? They know, of course they know. Even if they don't, Demetri must have suspected that something's going on, and he won't… He won't leave it alone, Jake."

Sensing that his thoughts had started to go down a dark path, I quickly put my arm around his shoulders and pulled him to my side as much as I could. His body trembled slightly against mine. I had the sudden urge to stop the car and embrace him properly, only now distinctly aware of the stress he was undergoing. The itch under my skin had been bothering me since I'd laid eyes on him this afternoon, as if my own body was telling me that something was not right with my imprint. That was one of the ways our connection had become more intense; now even my tissues moved with the need to move against whatever it was that was troubling Edward. Someone with allergies felt more irritable than usual when the weather changed suddenly – I thought that from here onwards it'd feel like that, like a change in him would ring out through my insides and leave me in an uneasy state.

It was a way of knowing if something was wrong, and for that I could only be grateful.

"Don't tire your head any further, okay?" I said, before kissing his temple softly.

Edward nodded, although he was still tense against my side.

«-»

When I reached the Cullen driveway, it was almost one in the morning. A slight drizzle fell from the overloaded clouds up above, and even with my naturally high body temperature I felt the hairs on my naked skin rise. It wouldn't be long before it started pouring again.

Edward was nodding off against the car window, his arms crossed over his stomach, and my heartbeat quickened at the sight of his long eyelashes flittering softly over the shadows under his eyes. My own tiredness suddenly yanked a yawn out of me, and I smiled weakly as I thought of us both sleeping together in his bed again. It was funny how neither of us had to ask Carlisle if I could stay at his house anymore; everybody thought of it as a completely normal, recurrent occurrence by now, and even Rosalie had begun to warm up to me, in her own distant and hostile way. As far as I knew she and Edward had seldom treated each other like best friends, so it didn't surprise me that this was how she'd treat me for as long as our… unconventional friendship lasted.

I stepped out of the car at the same time as Emmett appeared next to the door on Edward's side and opened it, before sliding his arms around his brother's shoulders and under his knees to pick him up.

"How is he?" Emmett whispered as we climbed up the stairs to the front door of the house. The quiet voice and careful manners were so unlike me that I had to wonder if something serious had happened while I'd gone to pick Edward up from the airport.

"He could be better," I replied. "However, considering the circumstances, I'd say he's doing pretty well."

Esme was the one who opened the door, a warm smile tugging at her lips. Rosalie and Alice were standing next to each other near the bottom of the staircase, their faces somehow tense and relieved at the same time. Emmett's heavy footfalls sounded awfully loud against the silence in the ample division.

"Carlisle and Jasper are in Alaska with the Denali coven," Esme informed me. "They'll watch over Bella until they think that she's adapted well enough to her new life… and her new mate."

My eyes widened. "Edward said it was just an encounter," I said quietly, although my blood was running at a faster speed than usual.

"It'll happen," Alice chimed in. "I've seen it. Bella will love him, and he'll make her as happy as one can be."

"Jacob, we have reasons to believe that what Ethan has told is the truth." Esme's black eyes were filled with sadness when she shifted her gaze to her sleeping son. "It's simply disconcerting… Ephraim Black has been watching our Edward for so long and we had no idea…"

"Well, that's over now," I said firmly. "Ephraim is dead."

"Damn right he is," Rosalie spoke up. "Kudos to Edward."

"Yeah, well, you can all applaud him when he's awake," Emmett said as he walked up the stairs with my imprint in his arms. "Until then you'll all make as little noise as possible, because my brother needs his rest."

"Seems like your brother had to be kidnapped for you to grow up some," Rosalie muttered jokingly, winking at her husband when he turned his head with a grave expression, which quickly dissolved into a smile.

"Good night, everyone," I whispered, following Emmett in the direction of Edward's room.

I had to wake my imprint up as soon as Emmett left his bedroom in order for him to put on some sleeping clothes. The idea of doing it for him occurred to me for a moment, seemingly normal considering his trust in me, but then I thought of how close he'd been to the man who had hurt him, the kind of memories that it must have awakened, and I frowned. For some reason I had the feeling that Edward's progress had been shoved down the toilet, and the oncoming times would be a reflection of those that we spent together at my house, when his family had been under the absurd belief that he had betrayed them. I thought of what Rosalie had said then, and it dawned on me that Edward had probably been responsible for Ephraim's death; although I was glad that the whole ordeal was over and that there were no chances of it happening again, I had a clear idea of how excruciatingly critical the thoughts that were bound to run through his head would be. Because I knew him, perhaps better than I knew myself, and the idea of progress included the vanishing of his self-hate.

And the lump in my throat grew when I imagined this shaky house of cards tumbling down.

"Do you have to go home?" Edward mumbled, looking up at me through half-lidded eyes. I removed my clothing as quickly as possible and put on the shorts and t-shirt that Emmett had lent me.

"What do you think?" I whispered with a smile.

Lying down next to him, I threw an arm over his waist and pulled him closer to my body, while his own arm snaked around my shoulders. He tucked his head under my chin, a whispered "goodnight" falling from his lips, and after a couple of minutes I heard his breathing even out. It didn't take long for me to fall asleep either; my eyelids had been burning since nightfall, protesting against my efforts to keep them open, and soon enough I was sleeping like a rock, dreaming of something that I probably wouldn't be able to remember in the morning.

Or in the middle of the night, for that matter, which was when I woke up suddenly, the itch under my skin strong enough to rouse me from my slumber. Edward was gripping my shoulder, his face set in a pained grimace, his chest rising and falling at a worryingly fast pace.

"Ed?" I called, touching the side of his head gently. A thin noise escaped his mouth. "Edward, wake up." My other hand reached up to shake his shoulder lightly. "Wake up!"

He startled awake with a loud inhale, and when he opened his eyes I saw that they were brimming with tears. My thumb slid across the skin under his lower eyelashes, as I tried to swallow down the ache in my throat.

"I'm sorry," he rasped. "I'm sorry. I want to say I didn't mean to kill him, but I did…"

"Hey, hey, listen to me," I said softly, looking into his watery eyes. "You don't have to be sorry for anything. You shouldn't. That man hurt you in the worst way possible, abducted you and tried to steal your freedom from you." I cringed inwardly as I listed the things that my imprint had been through because of that asshole. "Sooner or later someone had to do it, okay? You are so brave," I whispered, and then kissed his forehead. "You were smart enough to get yourself out of that mess on your own, and you were strong enough to destroy the one who tried to destroy _you. _There's nothing to be sorry about."

"I'm sorry for waking you up anyway," he said after his breathing had slowed down and his body had ceased to shake. I trailed my hand up his back gently.

"Well, yeah, that wasn't cool of you," I joked, and, much to my delight, he chuckled. "Do you want to talk about something?" I asked, hoping that I could distract you from whatever was going through his head then.

Edward shrugged. "I don't know… Oh, I might as well tell you that you needn't worry about the Children of the Moon."

I leaned back somewhat. "Is that so?"

He scoffed. "You wouldn't believe the number of people who worked for Ephraim. Oliver Khan's actual name was Myles…"

"Was?"

"They were all very friendly towards each other, you see, so much that Ephraim killed him in cold blood after I told him that he'd been the one to hand me the screwdriver. His lover, Elaine, burned to death."

"Je–"

"She was a vampire," he cut me off. _Still, _I wanted to say. That was a hell of a massacre, something that no human should see, specially my imprint.

"Wait, what screwdriver?"

"The one I used to kill Ephraim." He cleared his throat and squirmed slightly. "Anyway, I was telling you that the Children of the Moon are none of our concern now. They agreed to keep away from us as long as we didn't mess with them, which is not going to be very difficult, I'm sure. They came to talk to me when I was in Fribourg, Switzerland. I pretended to have lost all connection with my family so that they thought I was on neutral ground, and they left after realizing that they wouldn't get anything from me and that it was probably best for them if they kept their distance, seeing as they're easy to destroy."

"Why did they decide to talk to you?"

"I think they wanted to get revenge on my family for killing some of the members of their group. Apparently, throughout the conversation they came upon the conclusion that they'd been played by their boss all along. And also that their plan wouldn't have a happy ending for them."

"Come, now, let's go to sleep," I said. He'd just had a nightmare about the recent events and instead of talking about something that could distract him from the subject he delved right into it.

"I just thought you ought to know that all this time Ephraim has been playing with the minds of everyone around him. He gave us fake clues to distract us, convinced Ethan that he had the best intentions and refrained from telling his werewolves that the outcome of their visits could be so catastrophic. And that all these people, excluding Ethan, are a bunch of greedy bastards who wouldn't think twice before making someone's life fall apart. And this is what the world's made up of."

Hearing the bitter tone in his voice as he spoke, I felt the need to hug him to my chest and making all this new jadedness disappear. I wanted my youthful ex-leech back, as vulnerable as he might be, but I knew that this kind of experience had to have some impact on him, although I wished that it hadn't brought back the bitterness that I knew had plagued his mind before we really got to know each other.

We fell asleep after a while, locked in a tight embrace, and only woke up at almost lunchtime. Edward's family was somewhat taken aback at his reluctance to hug them and concerned with the slight awkwardness that weighed on his posture. I, too, watched with worry as he flinched from time to time while he was helping his mother get things done for lunch, when someone appeared suddenly or went to touch him. Once again the image of a house of cards falling down flashed through my mind, and I went through the day with an icy finger consistently poking my stomach and an itch that couldn't be alleviated if I scratched my skin.

Meanwhile, Alice looked into the future, and the news she gave us made me twist my nose slightly. Bella and Ethan were the new Alice and Jasper, seeing each other for the first time and lacing their fingers together as if signaling the start of an eternal relationship. Edward seemed happier than I thought was understandable; sure, everyone in his family – well, except Rosalie, who seemed absolutely indifferent – appeared to be content with the outcome of their meeting, but his smile hid something that the others didn't know about, a particular reason why he was glad that things had turned out well for my best friend and her new mate. I still felt rather wary when it came to the leech, and I hoped that Carlisle and Jasper – and I trusted Jasper in special to do this for me – watched over them and made sure that he was really the right person for her.

Edward exposed his doubts about Demetri's true intentions to his family. Rosalie seemed particularly concerned, and the way she eyed her brother's noticeable baby bump sparked in me the desire to shield him from her staring. I knew for one that it was making him uncomfortable and inciting in him more worries than the ones he already had.

"Do you think they know about Thomas?" she asked at some point, and I glared at her.

The dish in Edward's hands almost slipped from his fingers. He turned his head to her for a moment, before putting the dish in the sink.

"It's none of their business," he answered quietly.

"What if when he's born they think he's an immortal child?"

A tortured laugh reverberated through the kitchen. Edward turned around, his knuckles devoid of color as he gripped the edge of the sink.

"What if they go on finding excuses to extinguish our family, Rosalie?" The rhetorical question echoed in the area with an undertone of fear. "It doesn't matter what they think. They will pretend they _think _that the Quileute pack is constituted by Children of the Moon, and they will pretend they _think _that Thomas was bitten after he is born, and they will pretend that they didn't know that he has a beating heart. And they'll be just as pathetic as they were until this point, searching for more power which they cannot use."

Everyone was silent after Edward's outburst, so silent, in fact, that the droplets of water that dripped from the faucet sounded like they were falling right into my head.

"Maybe they knew even before Demetri came to the States," Emmett spoke up. "Didn't Tanya say that Irina had some hard sentiments as far as the pack is concerned?"

"And?" Rosalie said.

Alice's bell-like voice stopped us all. "And Irina disappeared in the beginning of September, when the school year started."

"When Bella went to study in Alaska," I added.

We all started at the sound of glass shattering. I turned to find Edward bent over the smithereens, picking up the bigger pieces angrily.

"Fucking great," he mumbled through gritted teeth.

«-»

**A.N.: Thank you to all of those who reviewed and have stuck with me despite the fact that I don't have an updating schedule and only publish stuff three centuries after the dates that I set for myself. Indeed, eleventh grade is much harder than I was expecting, and the amount of school work I still have to do **_**tonight **_**is proof of that, but it's no excuse. So forgive me. And review. If you want. Anyway, the next chapter probably only needs to be re-read and then it's fine to publish, so it's unlikely that I'll take more than necessary to post it. Thanks, everyone, and happy carnival!**


	24. They're going to get burnt

"Hey, Edward, I've been thinking…"

Edward raised his gaze from the book that he held in his hands the second I finished speaking.

"You've been thinking about the fact that we haven't had sex in a considerably long time," he deadpanned, and the sharp look he sent me, combined with his tone, made me imagine him with a pair of glasses hanging off the tip of his nose and speaking with a posh accent. For the first time ever, I felt intimidated by the vivid green of his irises, until the corner of his lips curled up and the blank mask was replaced by an expression of mirth. "You're not the only one."

Chuckling, I took my feet off the edge of his bed and stood from the comfy armchair that I'd been sitting in for half of the afternoon. My bones popped when I stretched, because I _had _to stretch. When had been the last time I'd actually done something? Not that I was complaining, really; I was quite thankful for the lack of activity during the last two weeks. I thought I'd had enough of commotion and anxiety to last me a lifetime. Well, a month, at least. I could do with a month like this, no obsessed ancestors barging into mine and Edward's lives, or weird-ass werewolves coming into town and putting people's lives at stake. Like this – Edward and me sitting contentedly in his bedroom, in comfortable silence, _alone in the house… _Doing something other than listening to the rain outside. Because, truly, I could come up with much better suggestions on how to entertain ourselves.

I sat next to Edward on the bed and crossed my ankles. He was reading – pretending to read – one of those self-help books that you'd often see in local bookstores. The color of his cheeks betrayed the direction that his thoughts had taken. Sighing, I reached for the ignored object and ripped it from his hands, before tossing it carelessly to the floor and putting my hands behind my head in a relaxed stance. Edward blinked, staring at the spot where the book had been, his hands still in the same position.

"While that might have seemed quite sensual," he said, "there's a very small chance that I will find the page that I was on, and I will have to hold you respo–_ung_."

Resting my forehead against his, my arms forming a cage around his slight figure, I touched my lips to his and swallowed his surprised grunt. My tongue slid along the underside of his upper lip, and Edward sighed into my mouth.

I drew back for a moment, watching the red on his cheeks spread and become deeper. "Admit it. You were getting a kick out of it," I said with a low laugh. "Self-help books are your worst nightmare."

Edward brought a hand up to caress my neck, and I winced inwardly at the coldness of his touch. "'S not a self-help book," he whispered, and if there was any way to visually describe a sound, then I could say that what I'd just heard was molten butter dripping down a warm, crusty toast. As innocent as he could be at times, I knew that _my _imprint had learned to perfect the art of seduction. Really, making me compare my boyfriend with food and inducing an LSD-like effect was hardly an easy feat.

"No?" I rasped, and felt him shiver beneath my body.

Edward smirked. "Well, I didn't write it, did I?"

"Congrats, smartass." I laughed. "That wasn't half-bad."

We kissed again, this time with a little more fervor. Edward's tongue pushed into my mouth, while his hands grasped my tee-shirt, motioning for me to take it off. The natural red lights in my head began blinking suddenly, when I thought of how little time had passed since he'd been so close to being hurt by the one who'd scarred him mentally. Edward's reaction to me struck me as odd; it hadn't taken much for me to notice how he sometimes flinched slightly when someone went to touch him, the momentary fear that left his face paler than usual. So, why did this happen so naturally? Why did he have no issues with being touched so intimately by me? Deep inside I found the question to be absurd; obviously he had to have some issues, and that was what scared me the most. I never wanted him to feel any kind of discomfort because of me, especially in moments like this, and so I had to count on him to tell me if I ever did something wrong.

I pulled away with a loud exhale, my eyes opening to search for any traces of fear or uneasiness on his flushed face.

"I'm fine," Edward whispered, like I'd so much as given away my concern. His green eyes were wide and dark, and the sincerity in them was evident. The warmth of his hand on my cheek made me lose focus on my doubts for a moment. "Trust me, okay? If something happens I'll tell you."

My nod was small and distant at first, but before I knew it I was bobbing my head eagerly, the knowledge that this could really go on without problems and that Edward – at least for now – didn't have any issues with sex allowing me to breathe more easily. I seized the hem of my shirt and quickly pulled it over my head. Edward's gaze melted onto the defined lines of my chest and the bulging muscles beneath the skin of my arms, and his pupils inundated more of the grass-colored territory of his irises. I smirked – it seemed that one of the advantages of being a werewolf was that it was pretty difficult to get out of shape. And I guessed that if I'd said that out loud this would be the moment when Edward rolled his eyes and pointed down at himself like his physique could in no way compensate, but the truth was that… he looked perfect. For me. The swell of his baby bump, which was very much noticeable now and, dare I say, quite large (Carlisle wasn't kidding when he said that it was very likely that Thomas would at some point begin to develop quite rapidly), rose fascinatingly between the blades of his hipbones.

My lips puckered upon invisible spots on the pale skin that covered his stomach, my hands holding his waist gently and my stomach warming up at the thought that the creature in there was my son. And that hopefully I'd be there to raise him and dedicate myself to him with Edward by my side.

"Jesus, you must be starved," he huffed out with a quiet chuckle.

"Indeed, but I'd rather savor my meal slowly," I said, as my lips reached the skin above the waistband of his jeans. _Indeed, _my cutoffs felt much too tight against my swollen girth, so much that I had to lower my zipper to let it free. I took it in my hand and gave it a couple of tugs with a barely contained hiss, while Edward removed his own jeans and underwear with quick movements. Apparently, he wasn't really up to any kind of foreplay. Not as much as I was. And not more than I was.

Goddamnit, he was right – I was starving. The sight of his long, pale legs increasing the distance between each other and bending at the knees certainly wasn't helping, not only because, goddamn, I loved his legs – I loved what I could do with them, how amazing it felt to have them wrapped around my waist –, but also because it allowed me to see his long cock standing at full mast and…

"_Shit_, Ed," I croaked, my mouth dry. I fumbled with the waistband of my cutoffs, desperate to get them off as soon as possible.

"Mother Theresa of Calcutta, you're terrible with words."

"You're the one blaspheming here." I threw the piece of clothing aside and climbed on top of him. Leaning down, I took his bottom lip in my mouth and breathed in his heavenly scent. "You unruly boy."

Edward's eyes opened suddenly, and for a second I felt as if my stomach had retreated and hid behind some remote part of my body. But then his lips curled upwards, slowly; his eyes shone brightly with mirth. (And something else that wasn't altogether unsettling; in fact, I quite liked seeing it there.) A laugh burst from his mouth and it lingered in the air for a moment, while he quickly calmed down.

He bit his lip, his face serious all of a sudden. I blinked.

"I want to try something," he said.

With his hands he gently pushed me backwards, and I was left kneeling on the bed, confused as all hell, as he opened the first drawer on his bedside table and reached for the bottle of lube that he had there.

"That's sexy, Ed, saving the goodies in your top drawer. You're one to just stare death in the face."

Edward laid the bottle on the bed next to my knee and then turned around. It took me some time to realize what he was about to do, but when I did my cock began to throb impatiently – the sight was simultaneously shocking and breathtaking. In a sort of perverted kind of way. I imagined that the first word that would come to someone's mind upon seeing such a plump – _tight, pale, irresistible _– ass up in the air was certainly not _breathtaking._

But it was. He looked so fucking beautiful like this. The steep curve of his back ended in a set of sharp shoulder blades that cast slight shadows over the slight bumps of his spine, and on his face rested a half-smile, topped by trusting eyes. His hand curled around the edge of his pillow, and the lean muscles in his arm flexed. There was something like a flash of light that was all at once whimsical and unexpected, and the idea that it simply existed in my mind only vanished after I'd been able to appreciate the blazing of the red undertones in his air, the tightening of his eyes to shut out the light, the mash-up of yellows and greens in his irises. My gaze wavered between the freckles on his cheeks and the gleaming tips of his lashes, before I realized that the effect was not a product of my imagination. The beam of light dispersed, brightening up a mantle of clouds instead, but I still waited for the haze in my head to pass.

My hands settled on his hips, and I bent over his curved back to kiss the middle of his spine.

"Fuck," I breathed against his skin. "I love you so much."

My cock rubbed against Edward's crack, and suddenly another kind of haze infiltrated my mind. My fingers ran along the lovely shape of his buttocks, while the throbbing of my member became more intense. Fuck, I needed to touch him. Needed to have him around me. To be inside him. The sight of his puckered hole made me tighten my hold on his cheeks. In a second I had the bottle of lube in my hand, spurting a considerable amount over my fingers. Edward shivered beneath my dry hand when they ghosted over his tight entrance. I looked up to see his teeth pressing against his bottom lip, while my thumb slid along his crack. 

I felt my stomach tighten slightly as Edward released a long sigh through his mouth, the middle of his back declining further when he tensed in anticipation. The rising of his slight muscles ignited the embers in my lower regions. Slowly I inserted a finger in his tight hole, inch by torturous inch, and drew from him a keen moan, which made my cock harden impossibly. The ache brought from my own chest a low growl, a rumble that resulted from a variety of sensations that left me trembling: the warmness of his walls around my finger, the way they pressed against it so snugly, the vision of Edward's entrance enlarging to receive a bit of me. I thought there was no way I could wait, but the sight was so magnificent, the sounds that were freed from his open lips, moist and red against the whiteness of the pillow beneath his head, as I moved my finger in and out of his channel, were so captivating in all their soft breathlessness…

I cursed under my breath. At the same time, I nudged Edward's knees open, further away from each other, exposing his behind fully to me. Licking my lips, I removed my digit and leaned back to snake my arm around his hips and to take his member in my hand, before pushing into his hole once more with two fingers. Slowly. More slowly than before. Watching my digits disappear into him, watching his ass take more of me, had me exhaling a lungful of air that wouldn't dare leave on its own. And the replacement of the image of my fingers with that of my cock didn't fail to make me hiss in expectation. Edward's hands fisted the sheets beneath the coiled muscles of his body. I looked for any signs of pain on his face, and upon finding his eyes closed, his lashes flittering slightly like he was watching a movie behind his eyelids, and his mouth open in an 'o' shape, I stroked his cock with languid caresses and moved my fingers inside his channel, tapping that one special spot within him.

"_Jacob,_" he whimpered; his voice rang out in the ample bedroom with an undertone of desperation. I heard his breath catch in his throat. "I want you."

I bended over him and planted a kiss at the top of his spine. "I need to prepare you, baby," I whispered.

The word fell from my tongue with a weight that was both blissful and difficult to bear, all at once a reminder of how much I cared about him, how much he meant to me, and how long it'd been since we'd shared a moment like this. I had the sudden urge to show him… To hold him. I felt like saying I loved him wasn't nearly enough, or perhaps that it was too much, or maybe that it didn't quite portray what I wanted to say. My mouth slid over the soft surface of his shoulder blade, the lightly freckled skin, while my fingers retreated and entered him again and again, with strong and dawdling movements of my wrist. _I need to prepare you, baby, _I wanted to say again, letting it transpire through the look we exchanged. Edward gazed at me from the corner of his eye, his stare gently and warmly poised over my fixed dark eyes. _I need to make sure you're safe. Need to make sure you're taken care of. _Because I never wanted to feel as hopeless as I did on the day I discovered he was kidnapped.

I never wanted to fail him again.

And I never wanted to let him go.

Edward smiled, like he'd heard every single word I hadn't voiced, and the hand that had been pumping his cock descended along the pronounced line of his belly, where it rested for a moment, until it reached the near-flatness of his chest. My thumb and forefinger closed around his nipple as my fingers pressed deeper into him. "You are so fucking _important _to me," I murmured, and Edward gasped through the sudden burst of pleasure that ran through his body. His arm suddenly wrapped around my neck and brought me in for a passionate kiss, with his tongue touching the top of my mouth, his lips securing my upper lip, like he wanted to echo my words back to me.

"I'm ready," he said after we'd broken the kiss. His arm went back to its place on top of the bed, and suddenly his position was the same as it'd been at first. Just ready for me. Ready for me to take him.

My cock, swollen and dark with need, throbbed incessantly, and a bead of pre-cum leaked from the head. I positioned it in front of Edward's exposed, prepared hole, my other hand curved around his hip, and with measured slowness and bated breath watched his ass open up further to accommodate my girth. Inch by inch. The coil in my stomach grew impossibly tight, like a spring ready to jump. Edward trembled beneath my touch, and I heard a gust of air escaping his mouth in a shaky whoosh. His walls were warm and tight, as I knew, but knowing and feeling seemed like radically different concepts in that moment. To actually feel his channel surrounding my cock, to have such a sensitive part of me inside him… I wanted–I needed to move. My legs shook with the effort to stay still. I raised my gaze to see Edward's elbow pointing up at the ceiling, a position that caused his shoulder blades to come closer to together. It struck me that I had an odd fascination with the two sharp bones, their vague resemblance to a set of angel wings, and in a daze I placed my hand over the top of his back, tracing the edge of one of them with my thumb.

Edward's elbow was perpendicular to a pale forearm, marked by lines and shadows that danced across his skin when the muscles beneath tensed, bringing out the blue of his salient veins. His physical strength was so deliciously subtle, so reserved and simple. The image of his long fingers tearing the sheets flashed through my mind, and instantly the blood travelling within my heart bubbled in anticipation. I had in me the desire to make him react to my touch, more loudly, more intensely, than he had until now, and to be in sync with him in the most intimate way possible. My lungs expanded when I inhaled deeply, my hands settling on his hips once more to pull them flush with mine. I was at last fully sheathed in his channel, and when I lifted my eyes to Edward's face both pleasure and supplication were mirrored back to me.

I pulled out for a moment, my hold on his hips tightening, before plunging back in with a strong thrust. Edward cried out, and that undid any sort of reservations I might've had. My hips rolled backwards and forwards with eager calmness – I wanted to savor every second of it, every rub of my cock against his inner walls, feel the dark skin on top of the bulging veins grazing his hot cavern, the sound of my ball sack hitting his flesh when I brusquely thrust into him. I wanted to enjoy each and every one of Edward's grunts, the rumbling of my chest when I was so deep into him that not even an inch separated my pelvis from his plump ass. Nothing separated us, I remembered hazily – I never pulled out completely, leaving the tip inside him for a moment before plunging back in abruptly, and he took me in always, his channel embracing my cock every time. My breathing was labored, as was his. I thought my muscles would tear open any moment, the way they buzzed underneath my slightly sweaty skin.

Edward's hand disappeared beneath his upper body, and a second later I saw his forearm move up and down.

He was touching himself, I registered with darkening eyes.

"I need to see your face," I rasped.

With my arms around Edward's torso, I quickly leaned back and sat on the bed, pulling his back against my chest. My hand reached down to wrap itself around his fist. Edward's head dropped onto my shoulder, and through half-lidded eyes he stared at my face with a mixture of emotions that collided against one another and dispersed all over the differently hued meadows of his orbs, though they all merged into a general look of ecstasy and love that made his eyes glimmer wildly. His left arm snaked around my neck, bringing my mouth down into an urgent kiss, while our fists pumped his cock in unison and my hips thrust upwards. I swallowed Edward's whimper, thinking for some reason that it was responsible for the trembling of my insides and the tightening in my stomach. I felt like something beneath my skin was aching to give itself fully to the moment.

So I let it go.

My hands gripped Edward's hips as I pounded up into him, fast and hard, and neither of us held anything back. With each forceful thrust a loud grunt ripped from my chest, and the new position allowed me to hit his prostrate nearly every time I slid my cock deeper into his ass, making him cry out repeatedly. My eyes travelled along the defined lines of his face, up to the droplets of sweat that had gathered just below his hairline. I panted, the scent of perspiration and the distinct and indescribable smell of sex thickening the air that rushed through my airways. The agglomerate of knots that'd formed in my middle got more and more concentrated; I knew I was about to come, that I would do it inside him, no latex barrier preventing me from emptying myself into his ass. From giving him something that was mine. Edward had his eyes tightly shut, as if he wasn't able to hold on for much longer either.

My lips fell upon the alabaster skin that cloaked his sharp collarbone, on which I bit down with a cry as my body shuddered and my vision blurred.

I came back to reality with a satisfied sigh, my mind blissed-out and nearly unaware of my surroundings. My chest heaved up and down like I'd been running in a marathon, my muscles felt like they'd been immersed in lukewarm water, and my arms were loose around Edward's waist. Only after a few seconds did I realize that he hadn't come yet. His face was contorted in pleasure, the kind that only hits you once you're nearing your climax, and so I reached down to fondle his balls, while my pelvis moved upwards just one more time.

And afterwards, as I lay in bed with Edward in my arms, shielded by his warm covers, I remembered how his face had slackened after that. And how I'd thought that no other sight could be as divine as that of his flushed, damp skin stretching over his high cheekbones, crowned by his long eyelashes.

How his lips had parted just slightly to release a shuddering sigh.

How much I loved him.

"You look beautiful when you cum," I mumbled. I kissed the bite-mark on his collarbone as softly as possible.

Edward chuckled. "Thanks, I guess."

I held him closer against me, feeling his baby bump against my stomach. "I missed you so much, ex-leech," I whispered into the hollow of his throat. "I was worried sick about you."

"Don't make yourself _sick _because you're worried about me," he replied, his thumbs running along the inexistent shadows under my eyes, as if he was remembering the moment when he'd seen me at the airport, the effects of the sleepless nights I'd spent wondering about his whereabouts visible and disconcerting. He planted a gentle kiss on my forehead. "I missed you, too, love."

"I need to make sure that this is not ever happening again, because–"

Edward tensed. "He's _dead_."

"There are other dangers out there," I said, and I saw a flash of recognition in his eyes, mingled with worry. The subject weighed on the whole family like something that would only fall from their shoulders once it brought them to their knees, and inside Edward's head a miscellany of problems became darker and darker, if the nightmares that had been plaguing him most nights were any indication. I couldn't bear to see him like this anymore, but at the same time I needed to make sure that he was physically safe.

"Then I'm not leaving the house on my own until all the upcoming mess is over. Perhaps until Thomas is born." His green eyes were honest and serious as they gazed down at mine.

I frowned. "Really?"

"I'm not…ready," he said cautiously, taking a deep breath. "I don't want to lie to you about this and pretend that I am. I'm also afraid for Thomas. But most importantly I don't want you to feel like I'm going to disappear all of a sudden. It's time to face the fact that I am, indeed, more vulnerable at the moment. I just need you to understand that I'm not the only one."

I grabbed his neck and caught his lip in my mouth. It seemed to me that the knowledge that Edward cared about me with all he had in him was clearer now, that he was willing to do much more for me than I'd previously given him credit for. I felt it in the gentle way his fingers rubbed against my shoulder, heard it when he spoke to me and saw it in the smile that lit up his face when we broke the kiss. It was present in every single one of his movements, like a set of invisible wires that embraced our souls and held them together.

"This imprint thing really has its perks," I said, caressing Edward's stomach.

_One more reason to stay with him_.

"Don't say that. The spirits might start charging us."

«-»

The two weeks that followed Edward's return to Forks might have been filled with apparent calmness as far as we two were concerned, but for Carlisle and Jasper time had passed by at an incredibly fast rate. The news about his son's arrival made Carlisle practically flee from Alaska to come see for himself that everything was okay with him. Admittedly, I felt relieved that he'd come – it was true that it seemed to me as if he wasn't the actual leader of the coven, since all the family contributed to the making of any kind of decisions, leaving the task of giving the go-ahead to no one in particular, but for some reason his presence warmed the atmosphere in the house and gave us all a sense of security. During the first couple of days, he simply stayed with the family and did some tests on Edward, even after seeing with his own two eyes that he was physically fine. He also told us about the development of Bella's self-control, reassuring us that everything was going _splendidly _in Alaska.

Except, of course, for the absence of one of the members of the Denali coven, which troubled not only her two sisters, Kate and Tanya, but also Edward's family and – _hell –_ my pack. According to Carlisle, the reason why Irina had left was because she couldn't stand being amongst people who supported the existence of shape-shifters.

She despised us, more than anyone was expecting. We'd killed her lover, Laurent, the only one she'd been truly fond of in a succession of meaningless hook-ups. She was willing to go out of her way to destroy us, and I didn't doubt that she'd already found some way to do that and wouldn't take long to put her plan in practice.

It was difficult to figure out which one of us was more worried. The stress put on Edward's shoulders added up to the trauma, and the tiredness that followed me around for a myriad of reasons that included having to watch him shy away from people's touch and worrying about my pack weighed me down visibly. Neither of us needed to bring the subject up to notice in each other's face the tumult that was eating away at us. But we both swallowed down our platitudes and procrastinated any decision-making. We both accepted that we were too tired for that. And hoped quietly that something in our moods would change in order for us to start thinking properly.

But the clock was ticking. Thomas was growing. And still we were at a loss for what to do.

Finally Edward decided that staying at home only worsened things. I was gladly dragged out of the comfort of his couch and into the woods that surrounded his house.

"You're looking mighty fine in that coat," I joked. More or less. I thought he always looked more than 'mighty fine', but there was something quite intimate in seeing him wear some of my clothes. My chest warmed at the sight of the too long sleeves, the circles that connected them to the rest of the coat falling off his shoulders. It was the beginning of December, and the ground was already covered in a soft layer of snow. The undergrowth in the deep forest bore thin sheets of frost.

Edward's smile touched his rose-tinted cheeks. He took his hand out of his pocket and wrapped his fingers around mine.

"You haven't been going to school, Jake," he said quietly, his voice mingling with the soft hissing of the wind.

"What's the point?" I shrugged.

Edward halted and lifted his green eyes to mine. "This doesn't change anything," he stated. The seriousness in his gaze was so strong that my thoughts went back to his words and the meaning behind them. "Whatever happens, we're going to live. And we're going to live fully."

The fierceness in his gaze contrasted with the rough sound of his voice and the watery spark in his eyes. I knew it wasn't just a reaction to the cold air – he was really on the verge of tears, but the determining nature of his statement didn't lose any of its qualities in my head because of that. I brought a hand up to his freckled cheek and traced a short path under his wet eyelashes, maybe hoping to melt his icy look or give him some of my physical warmth. Either way his stare didn't drop its resolution, and I smiled in admiration. I was reminded of one of the reasons I _liked _him, one of the things that I admired in him. It was this, above all else. His persistence. I liked it because it was so particular, always guided in the right path. He didn't give up when he knew that his goal was mainly constituted by happiness.

"And, you know, I've been thinking," he went on. "I've been thinking that if the Volturi really knew about Thomas, they would've come already. The only possible reason that would make them withhold their visit is because they're waiting for his birth, which means they _know _that we haven't committed a crime."

"Unless Irina hasn't told them yet," I said, my thumb freezing under his wide eye. "Perhaps _she _is the one waiting for the birth."

Edward shuddered under my touch. "Alice hasn't seen anything…" he mumbled. "But then again she's only started watching her decisions recently… It just occurred to me that if the Volturi had really chosen someone to make decisions on their behalf, they must've already chosen someone else. Surely they know Demetri is under our watch as well." Suddenly his eyes widened. "Bella… Aro took an interest in her ability to block him."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

"When Bella went to Italy, Aro decided to test his and Jane's abilities on her and found out that, much like mine, they didn't have any effect on her."

"And that guy sounds like a sucker for gifts, to be honest…"

"He collects them. Rather obsessively. He wants me and Alice to join his guard. It would be of no surprise to me if he'd decided that he wants Bella, too."

"Wouldn't Alice have seen that, though?"

Edward took a step back and fisted the hair on the side of his head. He frowned. "I don't know… We're back to square one. Maybe Demetri just wanted to give us a warning."

What I'd previously thought was wrong – we weren't unable to think properly. I was having some difficulty narrowing it down to something consistent, a conclusion that could guide us towards an efficient plan, but now that Edward and I were exchanging our thoughts I realized that it all came down to solving this together. He wasn't the only one who'd been pondering over this.

"No, we're in square two now," I said. "What if Demetri took the initiative to warn us? I mean, what if he's trying to help us without the consent of the Volturi?"

"That means he's probably still out there. I don't think he'd be able to keep it from Aro if he was in Volterra right now."

"He wants us to find him," I deduced.

Edward breathed out slowly through his mouth, and a cloud of water vapor swirled in front of his face.

"We're going to find him," he decided. "_We_. I'm going, too. And I'm going to find out what kind of information the Volturi have and what they have in store for us." His green eyes flashed, and he turned around suddenly. A panorama made up of greens and blues broadened in my mind, with the slight figure of my imprint in the middle. The pallid light of the early morning beamed off the ice that rested on the blades of the tufts on either side of the brooklet down the hill. His red hair wavered like a weak flame, the copper threads dancing with the wind. "This isn't over for us, Jacob," he said firmly. "I won't have it that way. Plus, I'm tired of these mind-games that people keep playing with us. I've held a diplomatic posture for too long: if the Volturi insist on playing with fire, they're going to get burnt."

«-»

**A.N.: OK, so some of you must be wondering what happened to the 'soon'. Well, this one was published soon. Sooner than usual, at least. But anyway I took longer than I expected, because I decided to prolong the chapter, and this is the result. I hope you liked it. By the way, if you'd like you can check my new story "Tainted Mirrors". It's on my profile obviously, and it's being written for a summary exchange that reallyhatebananas and I did. Her story is called 'Alteration Found', and I think you should check it, because it's awesome. And all of her stories, because they're all awesome. Anyway, people, review if you want and be happy and don't forget to smile. I'll try to publish the next one as soon as possible.** _**Au revoir!**_


	25. S December

EPOV

The last time I'd been to Toronto it hadn't been this cold. Or, well, it _had, _but it'd been harder for me to notice when my skin was made up of ice and the difference was pretty much non-existent. I wasn't in the best of moods to begin with, and standing on top of a good fifteen inches of snow as some pieces resembling white _insects _fluttered around my unfeeling face was not the best way to mitigate all the annoyance and anxiety clustered inside me, confined, claustrophobic and breathless. And it wasn't as if we were here because we _needed to. _Demetri could've found so many better – _less cold_ – places to hunt as he waited for us. A more pleasant place for us to come upon, instead of a broken, old warehouse, with goddamn icicles glinting like mythological vampire fangs from the top of the windows, with the outline of the city's skyscrapers in the remotest background, piercing a gloomy tapestry of clouds.

I wasn't quite certain about where we would go after Thomas' birth, but I felt that we were entitled to a higher temperature.

At the very _least._

"You're bitching," Jacob said, and it was clear that he wished I would stop. Of course Mr. Blue-Skies was in a better predicament, since his body _suffered _from horrible, perpetual heat. Not to mention the fact that his back was probably not going through the discomfort that mine was being subjected to, because after all he didn't have to walk around with another person slowly forming inside of him.

I grunted, shuffling my feet. "I solemnly swear I am not bitching."

"This negative vibe must be coming off the snow then," Jacob jeered from behind me. The instant his arms snaked around my waist and cuddled my bloated stomach was when the irritability that had been tightening my muscles uncoiled and my body sagged against his strong chest. Naturally. It seemed as if we needn't so much as think to touch each other as of late. A certain force, like a gentle tug, pulled me towards him, and it was always with a simple contentedness that we gravitated towards each other. But it was when we touched, when I felt the lines in his palms on my skin, or even the ran-down gravel of the pads of his fingers, a result of his hard work – it was then that I fell. I fell most fantastically, in a pulverization of vivid hues, like light and water impersonated. And quickly I'd realize that the contentedness that'd filled me until then was quite simply an accumulation of happy anticipation and the relief of knowing that he was so near.

Life was, in simple words, better. And it wasn't due to the fact that we had left our problems behind. They were quite present still, weaving into bigger webs when it seemed like we were about to reach a solution, but everything was lighter and more conveniently distributed. His burden was my burden; my burden was his burden. The imprint had turned the sharing in our relationship into an unsought goal. It'd regulated the compass of our wills, and so both giving and taking were merged into one, without any reflections on either of the parts.

It was like we'd been together for years.

"I'm sorry," I sighed. A white cloud moved in front of my mouth and then faded into the wintery air, mingling with the particles of diamond dust. I turned in his arms and wrapped mine around his waist, as far as they could go with the added distance between us, created by the swell of my stomach. Carlisle couldn't have guessed better – Thomas was growing fast and steadily, with no apparent issues, and, well, let's say, I was pretty…big. The six-month mark reached, my body had changed very noticeably to accommodate my son, and unfortunately the imprint didn't serve to ward off the headaches that hit me full-force at times, or the back pain, or the abdomen pain, or the heart pain. Or the _pain. _Too many things hurt. I knew that pregnancies weren't usually this hard; mine had this funny particularity which consisted of implying the continuation of the Black bloodline. And all the little wolf peculiarities that made Thomas kick me harder than what was normal.

Not to speak about the _heat, _sometimes followed by shivers. It wasn't the kind of heat that Jacob emanated, or even something quite as pleasant as that. It was downright uncomfortable, and the so-called glow of pregnancy seemed to be of a rather devilish nature, because from the burning sensation that spread across my skin in those moments I could only guess that I was glowing alright – in shades of red.

Thankfully I'd never really had any problems with self-image, mostly because I just didn't care, and I wasn't about to start doing so now. Otherwise this would be much harder. Not that I could understand why it _ought_ to be – first, it was a cliché; second, it was petty; thirdly, it was _petty. Of all the things to worry about, seriously…_

I dropped my arms when Alice's small frame appeared through the white morning fog. Jacob's nose wrinkled slightly before he spun to face her, his fingers entwined with mine. I could feel the warmth of his skin through the wool of my glove.

"He'll be here soon," she announced. Her golden irises darted rapidly between the different visions that I knew were assaulting her head. "In a matter of minutes."

A cold sensation ran through my insides, and I took a sharp, albeit quiet, breath upon the sudden tremor in my chest.

Jacob gripped my hand tighter. "Relax," he said. "Look behind you."

I didn't need to. I sensed the presence of at least three people through the quiet hum in my head, like a sixth sense. My mind was well protected from the voices that could get inside if I let them. It was another discovery, a change that came in handy. My gift was still present, but my head wasn't yet prepared to listen to so many voices at once, sometimes in a volume that was not even acceptable for human ears. I'd woken up one morning to a buzzing sound, like the batting of insect wings, or white noise on low volume, and after going so many months without any noise barging directly into my mind, I'd nearly fallen off the bed in surprise. Soon, though, I got used to it once again, and because I knew that hard times were coming I'd taken the initiative to… practice. Try to listen to what my family was thinking. But all I got was static, a loud fuzzy agglomerate of sounds that'd forced me to stop immediately.

Jacob was right. I couldn't push myself too far. For everyone's sake.

In spite of knowing what I would find, I turned my head to see Emmett and Rosalie with their backs to us, standing a long distance apart from each other, their postures slightly hunched in preparation for a possible attack. Jasper was crouched over the edge of the rooftop, looking down at us. He gave me a small, reassuring nod, feeling my trepidation, and I lowered my head in return to acknowledge his gesture.

"Thirty seconds," Alice whispered, her gaze lost in the near future. Her black boots cut through the snow as she whipped past us.

Jacob and I exchanged a serious look, before we, too, moved towards the warehouse, ready to get the answers we needed.

Demetri's eyes were tinged a bright, startling red, emerging from the shadows thrown over the right side of the building. He wasn't in any rush: with measured steps he advanced towards the open space in front of the old warehouse, crushing the patches of ice that'd formed in some places. Jasper leaned over the margin of the roof, his body visibly tense from where I was able to see him. Jacob and I stood behind the gate that my family had formed, ready to protect us from any harm, even though there wasn't much need. Demetri was alone. I couldn't listen to any actual voices, but I could pick out different sounds in the hum that resonated in my head. And as far as I could tell, there were only seven people in the clearing in front of the building, extending to another line of unused warehouses and slum buildings far behind us.

"I mean no harm," Demetri said, but the grey cape that rested on his shoulders maintained us all on guard. A carefully carved stone representing the blazon of the Volturi pended from the necklace around his shirt collar. "I wouldn't have allowed you to find me otherwise."

"Does Aro know you are here?" I demanded, and took a step forward. Jacob accompanied me hesitantly, his hold on my hand proving his apprehension. _Don't get too close, _he was trying to say. I squeezed his fingers comfortingly.

Demetri's eyes flittered between the members of my family before they fell on me.

"No," he replied.

"But you were sent to change Bella."

"No."

So Jacob was right. He'd taken the initiative to change her, probably because he wanted us to find him.

"Does Aro know that I've become human?"

A sudden stillness, strengthening the tension in the core of the clearing, contrasted with the heavy hum in my head, louder and denser now, as if a crowd had risen in protest in the far distance, but everyone was motionless. Rosalie seemed to have stopped breathing altogether. I curled the hand at my side into a fist in fearsome anticipation, which Jacob's closeness managed to calm.

Demetri looked almost apologetic. "Yes," he said, and everyone shifted, slightly but noticeably. I felt my connection with Jacob twist into a knot, like a natural mechanism that joined us when we both needed each other. His protectiveness had surpassed a certain height, now mingled with fear for my and Thomas' safety. And silently I watched at least two different outcomes play out in my mind, neither of them favorable to any of us.

He hadn't been sent to kill Bella. He'd been sent to kill _me. _

"Who told him?" I asked. Through my inquiry, I took notice of the grave, wary edge to my voice, a tone that demanded sincerity and respect.

"Irina, from the Denali coven."

"Do you know where she is?"

Demetri shifted. A slight crease appeared between his eyebrows.

"She's dead."

My eyes widened. The white noise in my head gained a tumultuous quality, the thoughts of my family louder now, more inquisitive for sure and probably a bit sad as well. We'd known her for a long time. My chest ached somewhat as I wondered how we'd tell Kate and Tanya about what'd happened to their sister.

"Aro ordered that she be killed for fear that she'd end up revealing what she'd done in case you found her. She'd given too much away already. Her sisters knew about her distaste for… werewolves. I'm certain you were able to connect the dots."

"He'd rather we be left in the dark, without knowing if he'd come for us or not, or even if he knew anything at all," I deduced. Ridiculous, though – Alice would know about whatever possibilities he was considering. If the Volturi planned on attacking us, or even visiting us, we would know. "It's his way of keeping us under his control, always afraid that he will suddenly decide to visit."

Nothing about this sounded strange to me, but Demetri's involvement seemed to be a piece that didn't fit here.

"Why are you here?" Jacob demanded. Demetri's scarlet irises flickered in surprise when he spoke.

"To tell you that there's a chance you can escape from the Volturi. You can hide. They don't have a tracker anymore."

_Marvelous, _I thought in amazement, and wondered if there were more like him, wishing they could give up their status. Chances were that the Volturi would end for good.

And I couldn't decide if that was good or not.

"Why don't they? Until recently you weren't too adamant when it came to carrying out their orders."

"Because there's a difference between changing a human into one of us and threatening the safety of the bearer of a wolf child." I noticed then that his Adam's apple bobbed up and down after he'd said that, and wondered if it was my scent that was making his mouth pool with venom or a simple habit that he'd taken up to make himself seem more human. Indeed, the last time I'd seen him I hadn't been able to make a comparison between his posture and my family's divergent ways, and now – shockingly – there were some similarities. "And I don't want to be present for _that _war."

"So the reason why you're here is because you want to save your own ass," Jacob corrected.

Most eloquently, I must say.

Demetri was silent.

Everything was much clearer now, and even the few spots that at first seemed too blurry could be discerned. I'd lost much of my faith in people's good intentions and their ability to be generous. Believing that Demetri actually wanted to help us, or even in a supposed rash rebellion, had become almost impossible. So now things made sense. Quite simply, he didn't want to be responsible for the death of the carrier of the Quileute bloodline, didn't want to be associated in any way with Volturi now that they seemed to be playing with fire.

If Children of the Moon were dangerous, how much of a threat could these creatures be, with the strength and speed of vampires and the rationality needed to kill them?

And of course I didn't doubt it. His fears were absolutely justified. The Quileute tribe _was_ willing to go that far to protect one of their own.

"Won't Aro marvel at your delay?" I wondered. "You should have dealt with my death by now."

Jacob trembled by my side, in the moment when I voiced their intentions, the possibility of me dying by their hands sounding too real to my ears, too.

"Aro doesn't want you dead, Edward," Demetri said. "You wouldn't be of any use to him."

"He's waiting for the birth," Alice cut in. She spun with the withered grace of an old ballerina, and faced me with a timorous look in her eyes. "If he came sooner he'd have to…rip the baby from your body. Not even vampire venom would be able to save you."

"Won't he find it strange?" I insisted, sounding edgier than I intended, with the visuals that Alice had described vivid in my mind.

Demetri was silent for a few seconds. I knew that his "help" couldn't come without a price. Even if he didn't want anything in return, there would be repercussions.

"He will," he confirmed. "He'll assume that I was caught and killed before I could return to Italy."

"And will he send someone?" I pressed.

"If he goes by the usual rule, he'll send his whole Guard."

Jacob intervened. "But they have no way of knowing where we are now. Or _do they_?" He stressed the last words, his chest rumbling threateningly.

Demetri shook his head softly. "It could take them years to find you."

_That's great to hear, _I thought, _but that's not how I want to live. _I didn't want to spend all my days looking behind me, fearing that I was being followed, always waiting that a vampire from Volterra would break down my door, murder my son and change me into one of them so that I could partake in the _Master's _power games. I could already hear the wheels in my siblings' minds turning, thinking of places to travel to, where we were least likely to be discovered. Jasper was probably thinking that it would be best if we separated. A dispersed flock would give them a lot more trouble than a united crowd.

"Right," I muttered, and in a louder tone announced, "We're done here."

My siblings flipped their heads in my direction. All of them, except Alice, bore a slight glaze over their ochre eyes, a bit of a crazed something washing away the pretense of normalcy. They were on edge, and their instincts were translated into an inhuman kind of stiffness, a sort of suppressed desire to attack. I held my breath but didn't drop my stance. Emmett still had an excited glint in his gaze, and I understood that he was just looking for fun beneath his defensive posture. A crunching sound was heard when Jasper dropped to the snow-covered ground, only a few yards away from Demetri. He eyed him carefully, measuring his options.

"We are done here!" I repeated, louder this time. Jasper might have been in charge as far as the newborns were concerned, but the Volturi were another matter – and one that I was more apt to deal with. I knew, for instance, that there weren't many bonds within the coven; in fact, if it wasn't for Chelsea, they'd–

They'd fall apart.

Demetri was not under her influence.

Chelsea had broken the tie. For whatever reason, she had used her gift to jeopardize the unity of her own coven. Jane was one of the few members that were actually emotionally attached to Aro and his brothers. She was, indeed, endlessly more devoted to them than anyone else in the group, and she never really questioned their decisions, unless it implied not making use of her gift to torture someone. If Chelsea broke the tie, the first to go would be Demetri. The way he carried out the orders was too… professional. He did the job because he had to do the job. Felix would be the next, and quite possibly he'd join his comrade. Yes, there was a bond there, between the two. Alec would stay, undoubtedly. Not only because of his sister, but also because he hadn't acquired any skills besides those he was gifted with. He wouldn't survive outside that specific ambience.

But without his tracker, his strongest guardian, his _base, _the one who held everything together, Aro would start to panic.

_He already has. _

He wasn't willing to wait a few more years for me to join his Guard. The volunteering season was over. It was clear to me now – the Volturi were going through their first crisis in many centuries, and the existence of a coven that they considered too large, with such tight bonds within them, and three gifted members seemed too much of a threat. And if they'd heard about the new generation of Children of the Moon, the worse. Not to mention the shape-shifters.

There was so much at stake. Aro didn't want volunteers anymore.

He wanted slaves.

"What if he goes back to Tuscany?" Rosalie asked.

I looked at Demetri, at the purse between his eyebrows and the new-found sense of freedom contained in his eyes. His existence as a near-robot had come to an end. Now he'd be like any other nomad, and from the subtle confidence radiating off him I didn't doubt that Felix was on his way to join him, no longer under the orders of a broken empire.

"What happened to Chelsea?" I asked, and felt Jacob's gaze fall upon me, confused.

"She's still there," he replied. "She's going through withdrawal."

It took me a moment to figure out what he meant. As a general rule, vampires couldn't get addicted to any sort of substance, except blood. But they could easily become addicted to people, emotions, perhaps even physical sensations. They were exceptionally gullible, despite what one might think.

If they tasted the haze, liked the haze, got used to the haze, they'd start fidgeting without it.

I should know.

"What happened to Corin?"

She was too important a link. And perhaps she was _the _missing link right now. Chelsea was kept in the Guard because of Corin's gift, due to her ability to induce a drug-like effect that made people feel content, satisfied with their situation. She was the reason why the Volturi wives almost never left the towers and never interfered with their husbands' decisions, forever kept there as virtual prisoners.

"Werewolves," Demetri said. "At the time we were under the belief that they'd been completely extinguished. Apparently, we were wrong."

He was telling me everything I needed to know, without trying in any way to cover up the crisis that his former coven was going through, in order to assure that my sense of fairness prevented the shape-shifters and my family from ever seeking him out.

_Now _we were done. As my former classmates would say, we were cool.

"Thank you, Demetri," I said sincerely.

He nodded curtly, eyed my siblings for a moment, and then took off, towards some other place where he was not likely to be found.

Jasper sprinted in our direction, and a flurry of snowflakes and ice crystals was left in his wake.

"Will we have to move?" he questioned. He'd sensed Demetri's slight hesitation upon my inquiry, when I asked him if Aro would do something about his absence.

"We _can't_ move," I replied. "We can't leave the wolf pack behind."

_Thank you, _I heard suddenly, and whipped my head in surprise. It was but a soft whisper, a tender voice in my head – Jacob's voice.

_I can hear him._

"We'll bring them with us," Emmett suggested.

Rosalie scoffed. "No, we will _not_."

"That'd mean that we'd leave the tribe unprotected," Jacob said. "There's no way I'm leaving my dad there knowing that those leeches might come at any moment."

"Then you can bring your dad, too." Emmett shrugged.

"Yes, dog, bring your whole community. In fact, try to gather the whole population of Washington State and bring them to our home," Jasper jeered.

Rosalie's flawless mouth was turned down in disgust. "This conversation is physically sickening."

I rolled my eyes. "I swear you give me more headaches than the Volturi."

"Aro _will_ come for us," Alice warned. "He's left the decision to someone else, so that I don't know when, but whoever it is will follow in his line of thinking."

I wouldn't be surprised if someone else had replaced Aro. It would explain why Alice hadn't seen Bella being changed by Demetri. But it was probably a temporary situation. And seeing as the wives were no longer under Corin's influence, it was possible that one of them, more rational than Caius and more alert than Marcus, had taken charge.

Sulpicia, no doubt. Athenodora was too submissive.

"I know that," I said. "But he won't come sooner, not when he doesn't have a consistent Guard."

"What was all of that about Chelsea and Corin?" Jasper asked.

"Chelsea has the power to create or break emotional ties, as you know. But she's not always in agreement with Aro's methods or his decisions. It just so happened that the one who was controlling her was killed by a werewolf. That's Corin. She was able to induce feelings of contentedness in people, and now that she's dead it's very likely that a climate of severe tension has befallen the Volturi."

"So Chelsea has renounced her position?" Rosalie guessed.

I shook my head. "They wouldn't have let her. She's failing to do her job, because she is withdrawing. Vampires can feel physically uncomfortable if drug-effects caused by supernatural gifts retreat very suddenly."

Jasper frowned. "Do you think there are more like Demetri?"

I swept the half-circle they were forming with my gaze. "I think there are many like him, yes." I nodded. "And without a good enough tracker to find them and the return of the werewolf species, it seems plausible that they are trying to use more… drastic means… to recruit more members."

To enslave them was the best expression, actually.

"Alec and Jane," Alice murmured somberly.

"Aro doesn't need Chelsea to keep them there," I said. "In fact, he's probably using _them _to keep her in Volterra."

_Chaos has been unleashed. _The crisis in Volterra represented an advantage for us, but I couldn't help but imagine the terror that Aro had certainly initiated. He'd search for the gifted ones, the vampires he'd been in contact with, and torture them through Jane's sadism, trap them in Alec's sensory deprivation, and take them to Volterra, to which they'd become attached because of Chelsea's power.

And when it was time, when they'd gathered enough slaves, they'd try to subjugate me, too, along with Alice and Bella. As well as Jasper. Anyone they could put their hands on, as long as they could be of any use.

"Certainly our ways will be more effective," Jasper asserted. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. "Carlisle has met enough of us. Many of them are gifted, too. It's all a matter of reuniting them – in fact, we would be _saving _them, if we did it fast enough."

"Because the Volturi don't want to come to the Olympic Peninsula until they're ready. And when they come, they want me there, in the right condition to be changed."

"But then we will have enough forces to battle against them, besides my pack, and to protect you and Thomas, as well," Jacob added.

"This is all just speculation," Rosalie interrupted us. "Demetri didn't even say anything about this."

"But it's not, Rosalie," Alice said. Her eyes were glassy. "They've already started. Jane is loving every second of it."

"You're getting good at this, Ed," Emmett complimented.

It was strange to realize that I couldn't hear any definite streams of information, but it was as if it appeared in my own mind through my own thinking.

"Much obliged, brother." I smirked.

"I think we shouldn't forget the theoretical nature of what we've been doing here," Rosalie observed.

Jasper turned to her, his mouth set in a firm line. "This _will_ work," he affirmed.

He really believed that it _would _work. I wasn't certain about anything, to be honest; the only thing I knew was that I wouldn't let anything happen to either Thomas or Jacob, that it was _fucking cold_ and that we should be on our way to the car already, so that we could get into our private jet soon enough.

My thoughts were beginning to get lost again in the tiredness that'd been plaguing me throughout the past weeks, but now I was sure that we had a plan.

The vampire world was going through some rough times, much like the human world, but at least we had a plan.

«-»

I had become accustomed to being woken up by a soft, collective murmur. It was during the moments when my mind slipped out of unconsciousness and grew vaguely aware of the world around me that it was more susceptible to receiving any voices. I could hear them, indeed, as if I was in a room with people chattering quietly, maybe praying, but I couldn't distinguish one from the other or even pick out any words.

So this is what I rose to every morning – except this one. Firstly, there'd had been a regression: the voices had turned into white noise once again, and although it wasn't too loud it was unexplainably more uncomfortable. Secondly, amidst the static, I could hear Jacob's voice, and because I didn't deem him insane I was pretty sure that he was _thinking_ and not talking. Or else he'd be trying to have too serious a conversation with a sleeping person.

I opened my eyes and winced at the white brightness pouring from the window. Jacob was sitting on the edge of the bed, his back turned to me. I lay there for a moment, watching the morning light rest gently on his russet skin, giving him the appearance of someone taken out of a black and white photograph, where every line was easier to make out. He had a plaid shirt on, and the fabric fell gently over his lower back, although it stretched above, tight over his shoulder blades. His black hair had grown over the back of his neck, and it shone slightly, catching the white light that had nearly blinded me just moments before. I wondered how it would look like, if he didn't cut it for a few more months.

I sat up on the bed, using my elbows for support. My back was aching more than usual.

"Good morning," I croaked, and then cleared my throat. Jacob turned slightly and gave me a rather tight smile. His thoughts were all flowing in the same line. A stream of questions, sometimes thought in an anxious tone, other times in a calmer tone, seeped into my head. He was stuck in a repetitive "what if" that always had a negative continuation. What if the leeches _did _come sooner? What if they had too many on their side? What if there were enough of them to invade La Push as well?

_What if they manage to capture him?_

"Hey," I said softly, sliding across the bed to get to him. My hand curled around his elbow, and there was that feeling again, like we were both losing solidity and becoming stronger in a different way. Together – always together. "Alice will warn us in time if anything out of order happens. Until then we've got to work on this. It's a damn good plan."

"Yeah," Jacob mumbled and looked to the side, his brow still heavy with worry. The root of the problem lay in my vulnerability, I realized. He knew that the likelihood of winning this war was pretty high, and even the questions regarding all the possible turns that it could take didn't really have an undertone of concern, but it was the idea of… losing me. Even if it wasn't convincing. The mere idea terrified him.

"Look at me," I whispered, pulling his jaw gently. My chest expanded when I focused on his eyes, the color of milled hazelnuts, overflowing with a myriad of emotions, with a blunt shine to them. "I'm here, okay? You and I will get through this. And when they come we can stay here, together, and we can gather enough people to prevent anyone from hurting us. If we act fast enough, we will have enough vampires to outnumber the Volturi. Trust me, Carlisle has _a lot _of connections."

"The Denali coven arrived today," he informed, trying to make it seem as if I'd managed to distract him. My throat tightened slightly. I hated seeing – I hated that he felt this stressed. I wasn't about to press him or try to convince him to _be _okay just because that's what I'd like. He was entitled to his moments of weakness, but I felt that after having received his care and attention in times of need I should at least attempt to ease some of his discomfort without imposing anything on him.

"Ethan and Bella, too?" I asked, wrapping my hand around the back of his neck and moving my fingers through the soft hair there. Jacob released a quiet breath, as if he'd been holding it for a while.

"Yeah, they've gone hunting," he replied lowly. I moved my hand downwards and pressed my thumb against the knot below his shoulder, circling it and trying to undo it.

"What do you think about the Denali sisters?"

"They're weird," he said absently, and took my free hand in his, lifting it and eyeing the lines across my palm.

"What does it say? Will I find love?"

Jacob chuckled, and it was the loveliest sound in existence. His face lit up until it was an arena of youthfulness and wisdom, the softness around his chin contrasting with the knowledge in his eyes.

"Nope, sorry," he said. "You will die alone, and your nine cats will your corpse."

I laughed. "As long as I've fulfilled my rock-star dream."

"Sure, sure, ex-leech." He smirked. "What do you even know about rock? You hate the classics."

"Jacob, don't try to pick on my music taste or knowledge. I will virtually smash you."

"What?" He lifted an eyebrow playfully, put his arm under my knees, and in the next second I was sitting on his lap. "Like this?"

"That's physically." I squirmed. The ache in my back was becoming annoyingly strong. "Seriously, am I too heavy now?"

"Heavier than a whale," he murmured against my jaw, and kissed it gently.

"Well, we all need some moral uplifting from time to time."

"You are welcome," he said, before helping me get back down onto the bed and standing up. "You should go and take a shower, and, I don't know, put on your evening gown or something."

"I swear I'm laughing within," I deadpanned. "You can't see it, but I'm very amused."

He laughed, flicking a strand of hair near my temple. "Come on, the folks are waiting."

Sighing, I prepared to stand up, pushing my hands against the bed to give me a better impulse. I wasn't sure if it was normal for people to feel this tired and achy at six months, but I was sure that I _did. _It was everywhere, as if I'd ran a marathon yesterday after going for months tied to a bed. My muscles felt… flattened.

I managed to get on my feet without much difficulty, but a mere second passed and my vision suddenly started swimming, black spots appearing in my field of view, and I didn't quite know what gravity was anymore. I felt myself tumble into Jacob's body. His hands were all of a sudden around my arms, keeping me from swaying.

"Ed," he called. "Edward!"

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to ward off the sea-sick feeling that had assaulted me. It took me a moment to register the slight panic in Jacob's voice. I swallowed dryly and lifted my eyelids. His face, seeming worried, was clear to me, and so was the door behind him and the bookshelf perpendicular to the wall. But all of it still seemed to be swinging, like the image was rocking itself, and I was having a hard time finding my balance.

"What's wrong? What are you feeling?"

"Just dizzy," I mumbled. "Need to sit down."

Immediately, Jacob guided me to the edge of the bed and sat down at my side, his arm around my shoulders. I blinked repeatedly in an attempt to put a stop to all the ballad-dancing going on in front of my eyes. So far it wasn't working, and the cherry on top of the cake was the throbbing in my head, a vague pounding that couldn't exactly be compared with the headaches that my gift caused. It was more of a distant, tired pain, less acute and more draining.

"Should I call Carlisle?"

Maybe we should've called Carlisle a few days prior to this morning, since the trip from Toronto to Port Angeles hadn't been spent as pleasantly as some of them might have thought. While I hadn't really felt any dizziness, I'd definitely been in a worse state than normal, and for a while I'd even thought that I was coming down with something, judging from the sudden chafe running through my body and the excessive fatigue. But there wasn't really anything wrong with my throat, or my nose, so I'd let it go and deemed it as a set of symptoms common to all pregnancies.

And now, it seemed, we should really call Carlisle.

Jacob placed his hand on my forehead. It'd be useless, seeing as he had a lot more difficulty checking different temperatures than the average human.

And yet he said, "You're warmer than usual."

"I feel warmer than usual," I said faintly, in a voice reduced to a near-gasp by the pressure in my chest. It was all because of the increase in the blood flow, I tried to convince myself. This had happened before, numerous times in fact. I'd be hit from inside with these hot currents, like something within was blowing blasts of Floridian air across my insides, making the task of breathing somewhat harder, but it was always for short periods of time, and I always took fluids to cool off. But now I seemed to be unable to regulate anything at all: my chest was too tight, the hotness was overbearing, and things were getting fuzzy.

It wasn't just the blood flow.

"Carlisle!" I heard Jacob shout, and I couldn't understand why. Carlisle could hear us from downstairs. Couldn't he? "Ed," he called me again, dropping to his knees between my legs. His hand held tight to mine. "It's okay. Just breathe."

"I am…" I wheezed. _I _am_ breathing, _I wanted to tell him, but instead I said, "I am trying."

"What's going on?" Carlisle's voice sounded like it was coming from the bottom of a well. He hadn't even knocked, or maybe he had, and it was just another sound lost in the haze hanging over my head. His blonde hair emerged beside Jacob, and immediately I found the two of them ridiculous, kneeling on the floor to examine me as if my height could be equated with that of a child. Ironic – I didn't feel small at all; in fact, I felt gigantic.

"A drought," I replied, because the word seemed fitting. I couldn't for sure understand why I'd bothered…

Carlisle's cool hand was all of a sudden curved around the side of my neck. "He's burning up," he stated, and I sensed a tone of urgency in his voice. "Take him to the top floor. I'm going to get things ready."

"Wait, what's wrong with him?" Jacob questioned, one of his arms already under my knees and the other under my armpit.

There was a moment of silence, followed by Carlisle's saying, "Everything indicates a heat stroke."

Before I knew it I'd been scooped up in Jacob's arms, and he was rushing through the hallways of the house, trying to get me to the hospital-like room in the third floor as fast as possible. I wished that he'd put me down, simply because I felt there was something wrong. They were doing everything wrong. Carlisle was wrong.

We were in December. I'd woken up _to__white brightness pouring from the window, and Jacob was sitting on the edge of the bed, his back turned to me. I lay there for a moment, watching the morning light rest gently on his russet skin…_

It was snowing, like that night when I'd received a letter from a friend of mine from the university, telling me about his time in the trenches, and it was during Christmas Eve–

"Hey, stay awake," Jacob rasped, seeming awfully worried from above me. And blurry. I felt his fear and helplessness through a sort of wave that moved through my chest, instead of seeing exactly his emotions mirrored in his face or hearing them in his thoughts. Because his mind had turned silent and his face was becoming more and more of a swaying shape than anything else. I realized I was lying on the hospital bed we kept in the house, in a room that again was too bright.

_This headache was bad enough before._

"Rosalie," I heard Carlisle call. "I need you to soak those sheets and bring them back here."

I was surprised to find out that she was actually with us, too, when I heard her contest rather hesitantly, "But if we immersed him in ice-wa–"

"Do as I say!" he growled.

No… This was… I'd told him, hadn't I? I'd told him that it wasn't possible. This wasn't the kind of drama that went along with a wintery scenery, and he was doing everything backwards. Downwards. I didn't really know. But the moment when Rosalie had mentioned ice-water a vision filled with bodies tossing, mouths sputtering, rows of beds under the smell of disease, fever-induced delirium, lungs filling up… And I couldn't breathe…

"'S December_,_" I gasped.

"I know, son," he said, and once again his hand touched my neck. I turned my head, hoping to hell that his coldness could seep into my very flesh.

"So what the hell is happening?" Jacob asked worriedly.

Carlisle was silent for a couple of seconds. Through the haze that'd settled over my vision I might have taken notice of the crease between his eyebrows and the tightness around his pitch-black eyes.

"I don't know," he sighed at last. "I'm sorry, but I don't know."

«-»

**A.N.: I think I can tell you that this story will be finished within the next month, if my calculations are correct. I still have to study for exams, but my classes are over, so hopefully I'll go on writing and get one out soon. If I don't manage to do it as soon as I'd thought it's because I've simply been lacking in time, but I am not suffering (thank God) from writer's block, so, yeah. I hope you liked the chapter and cried upon the cliff-hanger. And please click the review button. (Seriously, click it, but don't write anything.) **


	26. I feel him eerily still

EPOV

"Hey, love," Jacob said gently, as calmly as possible, but there was a sort of rush to his words, like he was expecting me to pay heed to his words. It was urgent – could save us all from a lot more trouble. "We need you to sit up straight, alright? Can you do that?"

I nodded, and my head seemed to be simply lolling up and down, as if I didn't really have any control over it. With the support of trembling arms, I tried to lift my upper weight, Jacob's hand on my back helping me get in the position required. A memory inundated my mind, a vision of my father propped up against several pillows while he breathed out in relief, amidst a series of coughs and shakes, his dark hair slicked with sweat that trailed down his crinkled forehead. He had always bore an appearance that never betrayed his actual age, a classical sort of handsomeness, and his moustache was always well-trimmed, his black hair always tidy, and he moved through space with a quick step, a bourgeois habit, and a confident glint in his blue eyes. And he'd been reduced to that because of a virus, all because of a virus…

"You have to take your shirt off," Jacob urged. "Lift your arms." I did as he asked, and he raised my shirt and slipped it off my torso in an instant, during which I took a deep breath to vacuum the scent of sweat, but there was nothing… Jacob threw the white shirt behind him, and from what I could see through the threatening mist over my gaze it didn't seem darker, wetter, than before. Fevers usually caused people to sweat… My father had been dripping, with his back against the pillows, which made it easier for the oxygen to travel through his airways, and now I was sitting up, too, and my lungs weren't so strained, but it was Jacob's hand supporting me. His burning hand…

"Jacob, let him go," Carlisle's voice ordered. I felt his hand twitch on my middle back, hesitating, before it was gone, replaced by the cushion of the hospital bed, which had been lifted meanwhile. I was momentarily stunned by the relief that pervaded me when he retreated and the simultaneous longing filling my chest, both mine and his. I looked to the side, and there he was, with shoulders hunched, his fists balled at his sides, as if he was preventing himself from moving them.

A whisper surged from my conflicted throat, "It's just temporary."

"Don't talk," he said, almost through gritted teeth, and I knew he meant that I shouldn't exert myself any further. The clench of his jaw signaled that he was controlling himself, and his harshness derived from the desperate howling of his wolf, the one I could vaguely hear in my own head, like a strong gust of wind in the far distance. I wondered for a moment if he would phase, sensing the trembling of his body like a weak current travelling through mine.

Carlisle noticed it, too. "I think you should leave, Jacob."

But I wanted him there, where he could be given something to do, so as not to pace a hole in the carpet in the hallway, waiting for news. I wouldn't be risking it, that much I was sure of, because if he'd stayed at my side through whatever ordeal I'd been involved in without losing control, if he'd maintained his human form for me, he wouldn't give it all up now. And I couldn't bear to hear the wounded fear eating away at him, knowing that it could be prevented. Much too soon I sensed a shift in his position, an inclination in the direction neither of us wished him to take, and I became restless, my lungs tightening.

"Let him stay," I choked out, eyeing Carlisle pleadingly. He was fiddling with the buttons of a machine next to the bed, a low hum sliding across the space of the room and adding to the atmosphere the sound of medical machinery, and that made all of this so much more terrifyingly real. The plastic of the oxygen mask in his hand flashed bluntly as he raised it to poise it over my face, while his didn't betray a single thought, like he hadn't heard me, or didn't care, and I felt Jacob's presence further and further away from me. It'd be useless, I thought in a rush. No sort of assisted breathing would work if Jacob wasn't here with me. "Dad," I wheezed, just when the mask was inches away from my face, and he stopped suddenly, his golden eyes darting to mine. "Please… let him stay," I begged, now past all pretense of ease, under the fear of Jacob's depart, of whatever was happening to me, and of what could happen to Thomas if Carlisle didn't come up with something soon.

Carlisle seemed wary, his eyebrows furrowed uneasily, but when he lifted his gaze to where Jacob was surely standing, he gave him a curt nod, and the pressure in my chest diminished considerably.

I turned my face immediately, shying away from the oxygen mask. "Take the rest of my... clothes off," I ordered through my panting, and saw Jacob's broad chest expanding even more with the sudden determination that certainly filled it, because now he had a purpose, a way of helping me, instead of standing outside, feeling useless. My head shifted in Carlisle's direction once more, raising itself a little from the bed so that he could slip the green elastic band under my skull, above my ears, and I felt the cool borders of the plastic mask around my mouth and nose. Meanwhile Jacob worked on removing my pants, sliding them down my legs carefully, leaving me only in my boxer shorts.

Rosalie appeared a moment later, her blonde hair flowing wildly as she rushed to my side and told Jacob to step away for a minute. She spread the soaked sheets over my body, without warning, and a muffled gasp was heard when they came into contact with my too-hot skin, and only a second later, after the initial shock, their coldness drew a relieved exhale from my lungs. But I was certain that my temperature would take a while to drop to the recommended mark, and even with the soaked sheets I felt like a steam engine was churning inside me.

"Jacob," I mumbled, my voice sounding stifled because of the mask. "Go get some ice packs."

"There's no need," Rosalie objected, her hand coming up to touch my neck. I sighed gratefully.

"Go get the ice packs, Jacob," I repeated. Rosalie pursed her eyebrows in confusion, clearly oblivious to what I was trying to do. Even with Jacob gone to do as I had told him, I knew that he probably felt more relieved if he was able to move, help in whatever way he could, instead of watching restlessly while his wolf kept trying to burst out of his skin. "You need to keep him occupied," I muttered, so low that only Carlisle and Rosalie's hearing would catch it. I sagged against the bed after speaking. My head just wouldn't stop spinning, and the edges of my vision were darkening, my mind threatening to slip into a state of incoherency once more.

"And you need to worry about yourself now," Rosalie hissed, her fingers pressing more forcefully against my neck. "And the baby. Do you have any idea what could happen to him?"

"Rosalie," Carlisle stopped her harsh reprimand. "Prepare an infusion of thiamine." He held my hand in his cold one, tracing one of my veins with a piece of damp cotton. I heard some rustling behind me, and recognized the sound as Rosalie abiding by Carlisle's order. "Don't mind your sister," he said lowly, and reached behind him for an IV pump. "Thomas will be fine, and so will you. I'll make sure of it."

"You don't know that." My voice wavered. Rosalie's comment had settled in, and now the idea of losing Thomas or having him suffer with this was becoming a distinct possibility – a frightening one at that. I had no idea why this was happening, and if we didn't know the cause we wouldn't find the cure, and if something happened to my son, if he couldn't get enough oxygen, enough nutrition, or if the heat was hurting him–

"Edward." He brought his free hand up to my face, catching the stray tear that had slipped from the corner of my eye. I didn't mean to hinder his work, but I felt like I was crashing beneath the fear that I'd suddenly start bleeding from below, or that Thomas would somehow be affected so severely that he'd be born in precarious conditions, and there were so many images flashing through my head, and I swear I could hear the cries of a child in the background… Carlisle's eyes were suddenly staring into mine, with a firmness that I had never seen before. "I'll do _everything _in my power," he assured me. "But you need to stay calm, alright? Stressing will only worsen things. Try to take deep breaths."

"Okay," I assented through the ache in my throat and the weight in my chest. I tried to ward off the different scenarios running through my mind, focusing instead on Carlisle's white hand holding mine, his thumb tapping one of my veins unnecessarily, before he brought the IV pump closer to my skin. A sharp, pricking pain followed, the needle pushed into my vein, and almost too quickly he had a piece of tape cover the end of the pump and holding it in place.

"I've got the ice packs," Jacob announced after barging into the room. He halted at the sight of my water-filled eyes, a deep frown marring his face. "Hey, beautiful," he said gently, and came to sit down on the edge of the bed. A flash of blue moved in front of my face, before I felt something cold on my neck. I sensed Carlisle's gaze fixed on him, measuring his proximity, afraid that the heat radiating off his body would worsen my situation. I knew he'd have to step back soon, for my and Thomas' sakes, but for now I allowed his presence to ease some of the turmoil inside. "You've got to stay calm."

I chuckled bitterly, hearing for the second time someone telling me to _stay calm_ when I was lying in a hospital bed, semi-naked, on the receiving end of supplemental oxygen, as if the probability that this wouldn't take a turn for the worse was not startlingly high. As if everyone knew exactly what was happening and had everything under control.

"I know you don't like needles much, but…" Carlisle's attempt at humor would have been more appreciated if it wasn't so weak. And I truly didn't mind needles. He smiled tightly, aware of the gap in his usual smoothness, and brought a thin tube into view before attaching it to the pump. "This is for fluid replacement," he informed quietly, and placed another piece of tape over the tube.

"Shouldn't we check his temperature?" Jacob asked the million-dollar question. Obviously that's what should've been done already, but Carlisle seemed to be procrastinating that one step for some odd reason.

"Maybe you should go and get Jasper," he replied after a moment of silence. Jacob eyed him warily, then understandingly, and a hint of sadness was present in his tanned face. He shifted his molten stare downwards, until it rested over my own. I thought I might be pleading with him tacitly not to go, even if it was for the best, but I couldn't be sure of what I was doing, what I wanted, which option was the most viable. Things were getting confusing again. Jacob's thumb was poised over my cheekbone, and when it fell softly on my skin it wiped away the droplet of water that'd been traveling downwards.

"We'll get through this, alright?" he said. "I'm going to call Jasper, but he can't do all the work on his own, yeah?"

"Yeah." I nodded. It was for the best, I told myself. Jacob would go, so that the cooling could actually work, and Jasper would come instead and maybe he'd put me to sleep. And if something happened, if during my sleep Thomas' little body started changing because of this… I fisted the wet sheets, felt the dampness coat my hand, and saw that my knuckles were white. I couldn't feel Jacob's presence in the room anymore, and I couldn't do as he said either, because the thought of having something happen to my son while I dozed off had me choking up with panic.

"Edward." Carlisle was trying to grab my attention again, but this time his voice sounded rather stern. He had his lips pressed against each other, his jaw set in a firm line. "I know that it is hard, but you must try and focus. You have two degrees in medicine – think about what we have been doing here and tell me what we have to do next."

I couldn't for the life of me understand what he was trying to do, why on Earth he'd demand something like that, as if he didn't know what the proceedings ought to be. But he was staring so intently, waiting for an answer, and so racking my brains became suddenly a priority. I had to block out much of what'd been in the forefront of my mind until then and rummage through the memories. There were many things of my time as a vampire that I couldn't remember, but when I tried to focus on the right terms, a few things came back to me. _Heat stroke is a medical emergency, the condition in which a person's core temperature rises above…_ _Patients who are unable to protect their airway should be…_ The core temperature had to be monitored throughout the treatment, and–

"You need to monitor for gastrointestinal bleeding," I said. "And fluid losses."

Carlisle acquiesced. "How?"

"With a nasogastric tube," I replied after a moment. "But you have to monitor the temperature."

"With a normal thermometer?"

"No," I breathed. "It's inaccurate… We need a thermistor probe."

"That's right." Carlisle nodded. He seemed to be gauging my reaction, searching for any signs of unease related to the proceedings. I closed my eyes tiredly and signaled with a slow bob of my head that it was okay. I didn't bother explaining that I'd do anything to make sure that Thomas was safe, even if it included letting someone insert a probe in my rectum, or stick a tube up my nose. He could cut me open without anesthetics if it was needed, as long as it assured my son's well-being.

"Why did you ignore Rosalie's suggestion? It would have been faster than using soaked sheets."

"It's too extreme," Carlisle answered quietly. There was a metal table next to him with scattered tools on top, and he sat with his back to me as he prepared the tube. "And you'd run the risk of seeing your temperature lower too rapidly, perhaps more than necessary."

"But if it's too slow…" I trailed off. "If it doesn't drop fast enough and my organs start failing–"

Carlisle tensed. "Your organs will not start failing, Edward."

"Will I have to deliver him?" I asked. The tremble to my voice made the return of my fear much too evident.

"If the need arises…" Carlisle took a deep breath, and turned to me once again. "If the need arises, we will immerse you in ice water. But you are not in extreme danger, Edward, and neither is Thomas. Otherwise we wouldn't be talking right now."

I realized he was right. It wasn't nearly as hard to breathe as before, and the dizziness was not as strong either. I still felt incredibly hot, immeasurably uncomfortable, like my skin was too tight and my insides were burning up, and that was perhaps the reason for my overthinking. Or maybe it was the fact that I simply didn't know why this was happening, and the fear of the unknown had always been the most alarming.

"Do you have any theories?" I questioned hesitantly. He'd seemed so helpless before and had said it himself – he had no idea why this was happening. But I could hope that the passing of minutes, maybe a full hour, had resulted in something more than a blank field of hypotheses.

Carlisle sighed. "If Thomas has given you trouble before for known reasons, it's possible that his Quileute heritage is what is causing this, too. Maybe…" he trailed off, pensive.

"What?"

He stood up suddenly, approached the bed, and lowered the sheet until my belly was exposed. His stone-hard hand came up to touch my stomach. I saw a wince flitter across his face, as if he'd discovered something that wasn't so pleasant, just as his other hand moved towards my head and spread across my forehead. My aching back arched slightly, my body inclining naturally towards the coldness of his fingers.

"Don't you feel it?" he asked.

I drew in a shuddering breath. "I feel him eerily still," I stated, rather worried. For all he'd been kicking me during the past few weeks, he was – surprisingly and disturbingly – not moving much.

"Your stomach's hotter than the rest of your body," Carlisle said. Seeing my eyes widen, he rushed to explain, "It's not necessarily bad news. Perhaps he's… going through some changes, which are uncommon to the development of fully human babies. We knew already that pregnancies of this sort implied certain complications."

"Complications," I echoed, and my face contorted in confusion, like I was missing an important detail, like the word had more meaning than I was willing to give it. And Carlisle knew it. "Werewolf complications?" I murmured. "Or… Incubus complications?"

"Edward," he sighed, and sat down next to my thigh after throwing the sheet over my torso again. His gaze lowered. "I can't be certain. Perhaps…"

"You're hiding something," I realized.

Carlisle's eyes shot up to mine, worry etched onto his face. "I didn't think it would matter much… In the past very few Incubuses survived the pregnancy. Their bodies are not prepared for the birth. Obviously it wouldn't be a problem for us, son."

"It would've been for me if you hadn't found out what Ephraim did," I murmured.

It would've been. The chances that I'd find someone trustworthy to do a caesarian were very slim, and now that I thought about it – no, I wouldn't have survived, if Carlisle had refused to overlook his idea of me as a demon despite having lived with me, seen me struggle to accept his way of life at first and then abide by his rules with as much reverence as I was allowed. And it was maddening, yes, but mainly sad, how I'd put so much effort into helping the new members of the family feel integrated, how I'd kept quiet when I didn't agree with his decisions, how I'd never shown resentment for having been changed without my consent, and especially how I'd refrained from killing Bella thinking of what that would mean for the family and how much I would disappoint him.

Because I'd always been afraid of disappointing him. And in return he'd shoved me aside and privileged his own sense of safety to my very survival.

"Edward." He frowned, and I saw the guilt rotting his insides reflected in his golden irises. "It's alright. You're here now." A flash of white above me, trying to reach me, made me breathe out heavily in anger.

"Don't."

I was not repelled by his touch, or so mad that I wouldn't allow him to stay in the room to help me, but for the moment, after having processed the new information, I simply couldn't bear the thought of having any affectionate contact or dialogue with him. A feeling of betrayal festered in my chest, evident in its heaviness. I couldn't stop thinking that if Jacob hadn't helped me, if Carlisle hadn't known the truth, I'd probably have rotted away in a ditch, or Ephraim would have gotten hold of me much sooner, and perhaps, with the absence of some much needed mental strength, I would've been powerless to stop him.

I felt like I was going to be sick.

I _was _going to be sick.

I took off the oxygen mask quickly. "Bucket," I rasped.

It wasn't Carlisle who put the black bucket in front of me. Rosalie was there suddenly, holding it in her hands, and a second later I was grabbing its sides to empty the contents of my stomach. But I had yet to eat anything at all, and so the only thing that managed to come out was bile. I sat there for some moments, dry-heaving into the abyss of the bucket, my ribs hurting from the exertion. A horrible taste lingered in my mouth.

A horrible set of thoughts and memories lingered in my mind, too.

«-»

Amidst the dreams that came over me while the effect of Jasper's gift rested over my mind and body, there came a memory that wasn't too distant from the present. By then the haze was beginning to lift, and I was swinging between awareness and unconsciousness, hearing a pair of quiet voices in the background and wondering for a couple of minutes what was travelling down my throat, until I remembered that in the middle of my anger I'd let Carlisle do his job and put the nasogastric tube in place while I tried to remain indifferent to his presence. Visions of a sunlit room ran through my head, and I lay there silently, watching them play out and become a vivid display of something that had already happened, something that I had the tendency to leave aside. It wasn't particularly important by any means, but it was…

Nice. It was a nice memory.

I was sitting on the floor of Jacob's bedroom, my back resting against the side of his bed, my legs crossed Indian-style. And there he was, sitting, too, but his torso leaned against the wall instead, and his long legs were extended in front of him, his feet managing to rub against my thigh. The light of the morning sun flittered through the curtains of the window and lay over the wooden floor, over the back of my head, and it beamed off Jacob's russet skin, highlighting the curves of his carefully sculpted arms. But his muscles flexed, and when they did his veins bulged for a second. Life flowed beneath his soft skin, I remembered, and suddenly, hearing almost like a vague echo a steady heartbeat, I found him utterly, absolutely, beautiful in his anciently Greek version of humanity. Or in his semblance with the miners of the era I'd been born in, bearing in the fibers of their body the strength needed to ward off the difficulties of their job. But his skin wasn't coated in coal-dust or sweat. It maintained the slightly reddish bronze that glowed softly under the mid-morning sunlight.

I unfolded my legs, and they stretched over the floor like his, my feet managing to reach his knee. The contact was simultaneously foreign and familiar. Strange, but right. It was as if I was spreading lemon juice over a message that had been written but couldn't be seen. And I felt a bond blooming quietly and slowly as our legs moved closer, closer, until they were intertwined. Jacob didn't smile, and neither did I, because I was lost in the flashing amber with which his eyes seemed to have been filled as the rays of the sun stretched over his face, too. The chirping of birds outside and the ruffling of tree leaves mingled with the sound of our breathing, and it was the first time I considered the possibility of enjoying an endless life, as long as I could stare at the rise and fall of his chest forevermore.

But his chest vibrated suddenly and the slight movement broke me out of my trance. I realized he had been speaking.

"Sorry," I said with a smile. "Can you repeat that?"

"Your hair," he said, "it's got some blondish strands."

My stomach fluttered. A flush spread over my cheeks. "Your eyes have amber in them," I replied.

He chuckled, and his smile was a set of white teeth contrasting against the hue of his skin. "Really?"

I nodded, and we settled into silence once more. A comfortable kind of silence. My feet fiddled idly with the hem of his cutoffs, and he stared down at them absently, like he wanted to touch me somehow but didn't know if he should. It was the middle of July, some weeks after Ephraim's…visit, and I still shied away from the shadow of a door closing or a sudden flash of tanned skin. It bothered me that my instincts had become inimical to some of the things Jacob did, and the way he appeared all of a sudden, in moments when I couldn't see his face and was instantly rewarded with terrifying flashbacks. I wanted to be absolutely comfortable with his presence, with every single one of his movements or features, because looking at him then, silent and beautiful and bathed in sunlight, I came upon a startling realization.

_I think I'm falling in love with you._

"Would you love someone you used to hate?" I asked when a sliver of boldness seemed to be present in my chest. Jacob looked up, his eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Yes," he said. "Would you?"

I scratched my wrist lightly, my shoulders sunken. "I don't hate anyone," I mumbled. "Except…"

_Him. _Jacob understood who I was talking about.

"Your family?"

I felt a recent ache come alive once again within my ribcage. I shook my head. "No."

"And when you were a vampire, didn't you hate me?"

"Not for a second."

"Do you have some kind of criteria?" Jacob chuckled.

"No," I muttered. "I couldn't possibly dedicate that much time to something like that."

"But you used to have all the time in the world."

"But you didn't, and still don't."

Jacob pursed his eyebrows, while my words made something click in his head. "Was it my finitude that made it impossible for you to hate me?"

"It was your mutability."

"Darwin taught you more than Catholic School, then." He smiled. "By that logic, there's no point in hating something that's bound to change."

"And no point in hating a life with ups and downs."

"But what about… him?" He frowned. "What if he changes?"

"He already has." I smiled sadly. "There's no turning back for some."

"You think they're doomed?"

"No." I laughed. "People aren't prefabricated burgers."

"So?"

"So I hope you never have to learn that there are things that humanity, the condition of being self-aware, does not allow."

«-»

I opened my eyes to sunlight pouring from the spaces between the window blinds. I was curled up on my side, the hand with the IV hanging from the edge of the bed, and the continuous hum of several machines told me that I was quite a sight in that moment, with a tube trailing up my nose, taped to the side of my face, and another coming out of my anus, though no one could actually see it, because I still had the soaked sheets over my body. A bigger rustling than I was expecting alerted me to the presence of one more person in the room besides Carlisle and Rosalie, seeing as their movements were always naturally silent. Jasper had probably left; the emotional blanket was gone, and I knew that the tiredness that'd settled into my bones was all mine. I sighed, blinking lazily, trying to get my vision to adjust to the semi-darkness in the room. I saw that the window blinds had been almost shut, but white stripes of light managed to enter the room, and so I guessed that it wasn't too late in the day.

"His core temperature is lowering steadily," Rosalie's voice announced quietly. She was sitting next to Jacob, who was doubled over for some reason, while a crunching sound made itself heard. It sounded as if he was rummaging through a box of Legos… "Take that look off your face, mutt. I didn't give you the bucket for you to _moan _about it."

"I'm not moaning," he replied tightly, as if he was in… pain. Or discomfort. Something was definitely wrong with him. I moved over to the edge of the bed, as much as I could, to see what he was doing, and I was hit with the vision of his tanned arm immersed in ice, while his face displayed a range of emotions that weren't really to anyone's liking in particular. I could only imagine what it felt like to be in contact with something so cold while your body ran under a temperature of 104 degrees, until I remembered that he was used to standing in the rain and going around half-naked. But then again it was ice. We all had our limits. "Hey." He smiled up at me, and his hand was suddenly out of the bucket, reaching for mine. His skin was damp and… sufficiently cold.

"What…" I tried to speak and found that my voice was almost too low for human ears to pick up on it, the tube interfering with my ability to communicate. It was also pretty damn uncomfortable. "What're you doing?" I croaked.

"It's called moral support," he said with a tone of hesitance, his thumb drawing a circle on the back of my hand.

"He can't keep his paws off you," Rosalie snipped. "So I found a solution."

"Pretty smart for a blondie," Jacob muttered.

I smiled weakly, their small banter managing to amuse me for a couple of seconds, as a warm feeling spread in my stomach. I guessed it would be correct to say that I was… touched. Jacob's desire to go through that just to touch me and Rosalie's idea to get him what he wanted had me wishing that I could enjoy their interaction more thoroughly, but I still felt too tired to open my eyes fully and I didn't think I'd be able to really concentrate on anything with the burning above my lower lashes.

I breathed out heavily. "What time is it?"

"Midday," Rosalie replied. "Carlisle has gone downstairs to greet the new guests. We're getting some fans after all."

"Her dream come true," Jacob joked, and when he noticed that his skin wasn't cool anymore his hand withdrew and dived into the ice again.

"You should go eat something," I said.

"I already have."

_Sure thing. _I thought it was better not to insist, even though I was certain that he was lying.

"Are you still feeling hot?" Rosalie asked.

_I've never felt sexier._

"Ed?" my wolf drew my attention to her question.

"Not nearly as much," I answered with some relief.

She stood up and laid her hand on my covered stomach. "You're breathing fine?"

"Yes."

"Do you think he's doing okay?"

"Blondie," Jacob growled threateningly.

I took a shuddering breath to ward off the anxiety that suddenly came over me, thoughts of bloody sheets and a child struggling inside an amniotic sac stamping themselves onto my memory. And the new information certainly didn't help. There wasn't just one life at stake; if I didn't survive, it was possible that Thomas wouldn't make it either. For the moment I could only hope that despite everything Carlisle was right about the caesarian and that this was really just a phase, something common to all pregnancies in which a child with wolf genes grew inside a womb.

"I don't know," I sighed.

We wouldn't know until only a few hours after that. I was told that more nomads arrived throughout the afternoon, but they were kept out of the house for obvious reasons, shown the wildlife around and told the story that might render them either our enemies or our allies. I didn't reckon that our offer would be turned down, especially if Jasper persuaded them by demonstrating what their options were in that moment. As for Alice's visions, I didn't know much, though I sensed a shared piece of knowledge between the members of my family, the ones that came into the room to see how I was fairing. They exchanged brief looks that I didn't bother deciphering, certain that whatever they were hiding, however relevant it was, wouldn't be laid out in the open as long as I lay in a hospital bed with needles and tubes binding me to the machines on its sides. And my body and mind felt too drained for me to involve myself in more safety plans or mindless conversations, so they all pretty much drifted past me, while Jacob stared, sticking his hand into the already molten bucket every half an hour, and I brooded, grateful for his touch and yet hopeful that I could go back to having his hands on me at his normal temperature, warm and strong and ever-so-familiar.

Midday graduated into mid-afternoon and mid-afternoon saw its end at twilight. Now the room was bathed in a glow of dark blues, and the light from outside was so weak that the one in the ceiling had to be switched on. Carlisle had returned just moments before, along with Jasper, when only Rosalie and Jacob, who'd stayed by my side throughout the day, as well as Esme, were present in the room. A heavy silence settled, the rubbing of shoe soles on the wooden floor and their slight movements the only sounds that vibrated across the air that filled the ample space, and it was in a quiet voice that Carlisle informed me that my core temperature had dropped to the mark recommended and asked me if I was feeling cold. In that very second I shivered, a sign that confirmed his suspicions, and that's how I ended up putting on one of Emmett's tee shirts. People turned when the soaked sheets were replaced by cotton layers, all of them except Jacob and Carlisle, while Esme went downstairs to prepare my dinner, seeing as intravenous "food" made me more nauseous than my… condition itself.

"You're recovering steadily," Carlisle said, his stare lost between the machines and the IV pump that still rested on the back of my hand, should the need for it arise. I could sense his hesitation to look at me, as if it would remind him of his mistakes and my throat ached with the need to tell him that it was _alright, _even though it _wasn't. _"No gastrointestinal bleeding; the treatment for fluid replacement seems to have worked; your temperature has gone back to normal… We need to monitor for any changes for a couple more days and do an ultrasound, but for now…"

The rest of what he said was drowned out. Not because I didn't want to listen to him, but because out of nothing, with no presage whatsoever, a blinding, excruciating pain blew up somewhere down below, like something inside me was being torn to shreds. My hands curled around the bed sheets tightly, and I might've seen my legs spreading open somewhat through the blur that fell over my vision, although I didn't do it consciously. Rather, they imitated what I sensed was happening inside me. Something was… being torn open after being tightly wound together for years, and I felt as if someone was doing it with a goddamn chainsaw, the way it seemed to be happening, so fast and so painfully. My teeth were grit together in such a manner that I thought for a second my jaw would snap.

"Edward," someone called urgently. "Tell me what's wrong. What hurts?"

Something between a moan and a growl erupted from my throat. The pain was so _motherfucking_ strong… If I racked my brains hard enough I'd be sure that this had happened before when I was traveling back to the States with Ethan, only this time the pain was increased tenfold. I could feel my lungs tightening again, my muscles coiling while the seams were pulled on either side until they were ripped open. My name was called again, more times than what I was able to register; questions flowing towards me and ricocheting off my ears, receiving no answer other than a pained whimper; faces moving above me, a clash of contrasts, brown and cream and swirling masses, blurry and dotted with black spots; toes curling over the fabric of cotton sheets; hands fisted above the bed, falling against it, but the slight ache was not a good enough distraction; fingers entwined in my hair, and when they pulled it back the dampness on the edge of my forehead descended, and now – _now _there was a hint of the smell of sweat. And down below there was dampness, too, sprinting towards an end, squashing away the recent dryness of my skin, and I couldn't understand why, not when the pain was still riding a towering wave…

And definitely not when the wave crashed. I screamed, unable to contain it, my back arching off the bed, until the wave fell in salty rain and foam onto the shore, only to be absorbed, drained away.

"Edward."

It was Jacob. I knew from the familiar sound of his voice, now broken and terrified, that he was right there, just next to me, leaning over my almost limp frame. I was a rag, sinking into the bed, my chest heaving with the air that'd help my mind get clearer. My muscles seemed to have been turned into mush. I opened my tired eyes, and Jacob's were boring into them, the concern swirling in them reaching an indescribable level. His breathing was labored, too. I was confused; my eyebrows furrowed, and I had a feeling that they did it in slow motion. Everything was happening in slow motion, or not happening at all. A chilling stillness had taken away the clamor from minutes ago.

"Edward," Jacob echoed, but this time… This time his voice was all wrong. Too thick and hoarse and wounded, like he had something cutting into his throat. He was crying. I lifted my hand to wipe away the tears that had crawled over his cheek, but his eyes were still beaming liquidly, and his chin was so still, like he was preventing himself from letting it move.

"It's okay," I whispered, as I caressed his temple. "Whatever it is, love. It's okay."

"Ed…" He seemed to choke on whatever he wanted to say, and the urge to comfort him, bring him back from wherever abyss he appeared to have slipped into, made me sit up straighter and reach for his other cheek. And there was something… I felt, as if I couldn't feel at all, a moving wetness below, a thick, liquid smattering between my legs dripping onto the bed and soaking the sheets above and the cushion beneath. I didn't look down. For some reason I thought I ought to keep my gaze trained on the black hairs drifting slightly from Jacob's left eyebrow. But my hand moved downwards, underneath the sheets, rushing past my stomach and coming to a halt when my fingers touched something. Something that slithered slowly, continuously and tortuously – something that crawled over my skin and now coated my hand.

My fingers were red. I brought them up to see what it was, and the light from the ceiling highlighted the web-thin lines, like crimson festoons, hanging between my middle and index fingers. I looked down, and there was white… There was still some white left, and there was the bump and my feet down below. But there was also red. So much red.

So much blood.

I gasped, and Jacob's arms were suddenly around me, wrapped around my chest and the top of my back, while his hand brought my head closer to his chest, as if… As if I should hide there, so that I couldn't see what was happening, but the vision would always be engraved in my mind. It was _right there. _There was the bump, and Thomas had to still be in there, even if below that there was a scarlet lake spreading and wetting me further, and, for God's sake, I could feel it moving out of me… I could feel the blood running out of me…

"No," I mouthed. My head shook against Jacob's shoulder. And suddenly, like a wave rising, an unbearable ache enlarged inside my chest. It was Nietzsche, I remembered, who had once said that some things are no more than a bellow – by swelling, they simply augmented the emptiness. And as my lungs expanded with the sharp breath I took, a feeling of nothingness, of loss, like something that had been so knowingly present, attached to every single part of me, was ripped away in a matter of minutes.

Like it was slipping out of me in that very moment.

"Darling, shhh," Jacob whispered in my ear, and I trembled, eyes wide open, watching as blood imbrued cotton, the knot in my throat seeming to me to be a knot in the invisible rope around my neck, a death sentence that just wouldn't be carried out.

As if I was dying, except I never did.

"No, no," I repeated, the emptiness dressing itself in a cloth of blind rage and failed denial. Because I couldn't deny it, but I couldn't bear it either. And everything just _hurt_. Every single one of my limbs, every single one of my fibers, throbbed, pulsed with an immeasurable pain, and I wanted to tear my hair out, wanted Jacob's arms off me, wanted to bring it back – I wanted all that'd left me in the form of blood inside me again. Because it just couldn't _be_. I couldn't have my son hurt in any way; I'd vowed to myself; I'd promised myself I'd raise him and love him and care for him. So it couldn't _be. _Jacob had to get off me and dry his stupid tears, because nothing was happening. Didn't he know? Hadn't I told him that we would bring him up together? He had to–

"I've got you," he choked out, and his arms tightened around me, holding me in place.

"No, get off me," I shouted, squirming, writhing, shaking against him, trying to push his shoulder away from me, and suddenly there was blood on his skin, too, passed around like a _plague. _"I _told _you… I told you we'd do it together. Can't you remember? He can't be–"

"I've got you," he said shakily, and I felt his body trembling against mine, his tears against the back of my neck.

"No," I repeated, but it was a loose breath this time, a tired exhale, a way that my voice had found to say that I surrendered. The fight drained out of me, and the emptiness was back. Back in full force. And it was permanent, a wound that'd never heal, burning now despite the coldness that seeped into my bones. The ache enlarged, weaving my throat into a whirlwind, and everything was hurting again. "I…" My voice wavered, caught in the maelstrom. I had the sense it wouldn't be able to get past it, like my lungs couldn't stand the weight of one more word – and, yet, they slipped out, intersected, cut into little pieces, fragments scattered over a line that had been only curvy until this moment but now it was broken. Irrevocably. "Thomas…"

"It's alright, sweetheart." Jacob's lips pressed against my temple.

"He's… H-he…"

Dead. He was dead.

And as I sobbed, inconsolable, my fingers white around Jacob's arms, I thought I might be, too.

«-»

**A.N.: Thank you for reading. **


	27. Wake Up

JPOV

Things were happening much too fast for me to understand them clearly. I'd stayed by Edward's side throughout the whole afternoon, and I'd definitely been in a state of worry too complex to describe, seeing him so pale and worn-out in that hospital bed. Carlisle had told me that he and Thomas were not in danger anymore, but I was still on edge, my nerves tight with anxiety, because, goddamnit, he had a tube stuck into his nose and his hand was all covered in tape and needles and perhaps there weren't that many machines, but it still felt like he was hooked up to a thousand monitors and that meant that he had to be in danger. Thankfully by the time night fell he was free of the most cringe-worthy part of the tubing and despite the circles under his eyes and the slightly unhealthy pallor to his skin he didn't seem nearly as tired as he had earlier on in the day.

Soon, however, there was a huge shift in the peace and quiet we'd fallen into. Carlisle had been going on about Edward's now stable state when suddenly my imprint's face scrunched up in pain.

"Edward!" I leaned over him immediately, my heart threatening to jump out of my chest. His eyes were squeezed shut, his teeth grit firmly. "Tell me what's wrong. What hurts?"

I looked him over, and tried to find something, anything, that could give me a hint of where his pain was located. It was probably useless, because I was no doctor and I wasn't likely to find out what to do to actually help him, but I was moving and talking under some kind of irrational will, responding to my need to be close to him in such a situation, sensing deep in my chest a sharp ache, like a taste of what he was feeling.

His legs moved beneath the bed sheets, like he was…opening them. I stared, unable to make sense of it, until suddenly his voice, caught in a hurting whimper, brought my eyes back to his face. Carlisle and Rosalie had thankfully rushed towards the bed and were now examining him – or at least attempting to do so. I kept asking him what he was feeling, where he was hurting, and it was as if I was hearing my own voice from a dark depth somewhere in the ocean. My wolf howled desperately inside my head, and the sound made the rest of my insides rattle.

"Edward," I breathed, and my hand reached for a strand of red hair that fell over his forehead, the roots wet with sweat. His green eyes were unfocused, glazed-over, and I wondered what he was seeing, wishing he'd see _me _and rid himself of whatever was trying to pull him under. "Sweetheart, look at me, please. Look at me. Tell me what hurts," I pleaded, but the only answer I received was a series of labored breaths, and I saw that his chest was heaving up and down, that he was struggling to breathe. My hand descended upon his bloated stomach, where our son was still growing, and I sent the spirits a silent prayer, even if I knew it'd be useless, even if until then I'd never tried to reach them. Or even actually believed they existed.

I heard a snarl coming from the other side of the room, and I looked up to find Jasper pressed up against the wall, Esme's hands pushing his shoulders back, while he growled threateningly, his eyes gone dark and eerie with thirst. Esme was clearly having some difficulty holding him back, so Rosalie left Carlisle's side to help her and take him out of the room. For a moment I was confused, until my nostrils picked up on the scent of rust and salt in the air.

Edward was bleeding. I couldn't exactly know if he was bleeding a _lot, _but the sight of blood tainting the sheets in a growing spot between his legs had me stalling with fear. It wasn't just him at risk – didn't this sort of thing happened when people lost their… No. It couldn't be. Our son had to get through this, too, or so help me…

"Carlisle, what the fuck is happening?" I shouted, but he didn't reply either. It was as if everyone was trying to pull some kind of twisted joke where they imitated Chaplin in the early stages of his career. I tried to call Edward back to reality, but in that moment things got worse on a whole new level.

This wasn't the usual bout of pain that we'd gotten used to. Normally he didn't scream like this, like… someone was cutting one of his limbs off or something. I watched, helpless, as Edward's whole body convulsed, his mouth opening to free a bloodcurdling scream of agony. I felt as if someone had gotten hold of my heart and was gripping it for all it was worth, my wolf whimpering loudly, shrilly, in second-hand anguish.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity to me, when it could've been just a couple of seconds, the scream died down and Edward sagged against the bed, like the pain had leeched the fight from him. I was simultaneously relieved and concerned, because even though he didn't seem to be in any actual discomfort now I noticed that his lashes flittered tiredly over his glassy green eyes. I wouldn't be so worried if it was just that, if it only seemed like he needed to have some rest, but his face was ghostly pale, as if all the blood had been drained from it.

"Edward, baby," I whispered, and held his face gently. He blinked, his lips parting slightly with the slow breath that left them, and hope spread in my chest. Hope that he was paying attention. I looked into his eyes and saw that he was making an effort to keep them open and to focus on me. "Stay with me, baby. Okay? Please stay with me."

"Esme, get everyone out of the house!" Carlisle said suddenly. I lifted my head and found him bent over the lower part of Edward's body, over the red pool that'd spread all over the sheets.

"Jesus Christ," I muttered, with something seemingly cutting through my throat. It wasn't like before – Edward was bleeding too much, too fast, and I had the sudden sense that his life was quickly slipping from him. From me. And Thomas – I couldn't even bear to think of what this could mean.

I snapped my head back to his face, only to discover that his eyes had closed. That he'd gone completely limp. "Edward!" I called urgently, almost angrily. He couldn't do this. He couldn't just pass out and leave me to wonder if he'd come back to me or not.

"Dog, come along," Rosalie said next to me, her cold fingers curling around part of my arm. I wrenched it from her, a growl forming in my chest, before I turned back to Edward and lifted his chin with my hand, as if that'd make him wake up suddenly.

"Baby, come on. Come back to me, please," I whispered, but his ashen face didn't move. Not a single muscle twitched. Nothing. "Please."

"Jacob," Rosalie snapped, and I was vaguely surprised, because it was probably the first time she'd ever called me by my actual name. "Snap the hell out of it. Edward needs help right now, but it's not yours. You need to let Carlisle do his job."

She stood to her full height, her shoulders squared firmly, and I understood that she meant business. That I needed to listen to her. I looked at Carlisle, and saw the startling contrast of the whiteness of his hands with the blood that tainted them. But he was moving, grabbing things, equipment, checking Edward's vitals. All in all, he was doing something useful, while I stood there, mumbling pleadingly, as if that'd be of any help. I decided that it was best to do as Rosalie said, and I was even willing to follow her, despite the awful fucking ache in my stomach at the thought of leaving my imprint and our kid like this, but she'd already grabbed my bicep again, hard enough to break the bones of a human, and was practically dragging me across the room and out of the door.

"Damnit, Blondie, I got it," I snarled, but she went on pushing me, leading me through the maze of hallways of the house, until we reached a room I'd never been to, where a series of shelves were lined up against the walls, filled with books, and a couple of armchairs sat opposite each other over a dark green carpet. In front of me there was a pair of French doors that she opened and slipped through in a flash, taking me with her.

The breezy winter air slithered over my skin, and a flutter of snowflakes ran past the space between us. We were in a balcony on the back side of the house. Rosalie's pale skin glowed in a bluish hue, like the surface of an ice statue, under the far-reaching moonlight. I was panting, not because I was out of breath after our mini-marathon, but because I could hardly process what was happening, how I was feeling. All that I knew was that my imprint was bleeding all over the place and my insides were vibrating with the need to do something, even if it implied phasing right then and there.

"Look down," Rosalie said.

Hesitant, I did as she said, and I was faced with a multitude of pale faces – even the ones that were mildly dark were _somehow _pale –, all raised and pointed at the place where I stood with Rosalie, like a sea of silver arrows mingling with the constant pacing of the snow and the light of the moon falling on the shaking leaves in the dark woods behind them. I looked closer, more attentively, and noticed that most of them had red eyes.

"What the hell _is _this?" I asked lowly. These vampires were different from the Cullens and the Denali coven – much different. I didn't know why I was so wary, since I'd never really believed that there were nomads out there who fed on animal blood, but I supposed– The difference was just surprising. These were the kind of vampires that my pack and I were used to getting rid of, the sort of bloodsuckers that we despised above anything else, and here they were, ready to help us.

Well, the saying was right. Beggars weren't choosers. Edward would probably point that out to me.

If he were here.

"We only tried to reach some of them, those Carlisle still keeps in contact with," Rosalie tried to explain. "Apparently they spread the word."

"We couldn't stay out there knowing that there's a place where we're safe," one of them said loudly. It was a male, tall and bearded, with sandy blonde air. He stood next to Kate and Tanya, and as I looked closer I noticed that he was holding hands with the first. "And we are willing to fight, as a form of retribution for your hospitality, as well as a way to put a stop to the Volturi's fascist hold on our lives."

"They can't stay here," Rosalie muttered. "Jasper will take them to the field where the battle against the newborns took place." I heard a cluster of voices rise like a grand wave of sound, and cast the Cullen backyard a quick glance, and I verified that most of the leeches seemed to have gathered for the mobilization that Jasper was leading. "You should go with them."

"I can't leave Edward," I rasped. My throat was aching again. And so was my chest. And my lungs. I wondered if he'd regained consciousness, if he'd just had a simple moment of faintness. But there was so much blood–

"Jacob, you're the representative of the Quileute pack–"

"Sam's the Alpha, not me."

"But he's not here, is he?" Rosalie hissed. "These people are here to help us, and that obviously includes Edward. You need to go and find out how your pack can participate. And you obviously need to win their trust, or else there's no way we can all fight together."

"But Edward…" I insisted helplessly.

"We'll take care of him. Carlisle knows what he's doing, okay?"

With a last lingering look that told me that I should trust her, Rosalie whipped past me and went back into the house, leaving me to stare at the white borders of the balcony, the ice that had formed over the railing, and, of course, the tide of pale bodies below, all moving in preparation for the run towards the field. I waited – I didn't know why. I used the time they took to disappear from the snowy backyard to prepare myself, too. To take a deep breath and ward off the throbbing in my head, like a pulsing, raging sea crashing against the bottom of a cliff, calling back in a rough whisper the influence of the moon. I needed him. So much. But, I decided, I needed him to be okay first. That was my top priority. I could travel to a place miles and miles away and be miserable without him, but at least I'd be glad to know that he was safe and happy. Admittedly, there was nothing I could do now, so I had to trust Rosalie and let her and Edward's dad do their job and nurse him back to health. Bring him back to the world of the conscious and only mildly pale.

Sighing, I braced myself against the glinting railing of the balcony and jumped over it, falling below with a loud thud and a crunch that could've only meant that I'd managed to break something. I lifted my sneaker and saw a splintered plate of ice lying on the ground. I shrugged it off and walked up to the three vampires that had stayed there for some reason. It was Tanya, Kate, and the bearded, red-eyed leech that had spoken before. He turned to me very quickly, too quickly, and smiled brightly, his teeth shining like silver blades under the moonlight.

"I'm Garrett," he introduced himself, extending his hand. I took it rather warily, and tried to contain my wince when I registered the coldness and tight firmness of his grip.

"Jacob," I grunted.

"So you're Edward's mate?"

I scratched my jaw awkwardly. It wasn't common for people to put it like that, so I said, "Well, he's my imprint."

"My mistake." Garrett chuckled. "I forgot humans don't have mates."

"They _so _do," Tanya whispered, her lips curling in sly amusement. "Although mostly they stick to the flinging thing."

"You'd know, sister," Kate drawled, her golden eyes lighting up with a knowing look. I stared at the two of them, confused for a moment, until it dawned on me that Tanya's understanding of human relationships probably derived from the fact that s_he _was involved in them. Or at least in the flinging thing. To put it simply, she fucked humans, and I wondered if that wasn't dangerous. Both for them and for her.

"Russians," Garrett muttered under his breath, sending me a solidary glance, like we were buddies and supposed to stick together against them. I was more surprised by their origins, because I couldn't hear a trace of an accent at all. "What can you do?"

"I'm not quite sure I know that one stereotype, Garrett," Kate sniped with a purse of her lips. Tanya giggled, and she managed to pull it off as a womanly giggle. Somehow.

"Leave him to fester in his patriotic glory, Kate. He only fought against the British, but if he could he'd fight against any other land that'd dare put his home's honor in question."

"Alright, Tanya. You seem to know an awful lot about me for someone who's just met me."

"Well, she knows enough," Kate pointed out. "Since you haven't really talked about anything besides the American Revolution since you arrived."

"Which may have made it pretty easy to test your personality," I observed. Garrett turned to me with a shocked expression, waving his hands helplessly.

"You're supposed to be my comrade!"

"Oh, we're late," Tanya interrupted our bantering. "We'd better get going. Can you keep up, wolf boy?"

"Is that a challenge?" I lifted an eyebrow – one of those habits I'd caught from Edward –, and started a slow jog that became faster in less than a few seconds until I leaped into the air and phased, taking advantage of the speed I'd gained and running through the labyrinth of tree trunks with the smell of leech pending from the roof of my mouth. The other three followed me immediately, unable to really keep up with _me,_ and we fled past small mountains and brooks and uplands until we halted at the edge of the wide clearing where – I remembered vividly – a goddamn newborn had crushed my ribcage.

I let loose a breath through my sensitive nostrils, which sounded more like a snort, and stepped into the field, an ample area that was covered in a thick layer of snow, and all of the scenery was a mash-up of silver and white; the naked branches of the trees all around us reached up to the midnight-blue sky like broken, pitch-black arms. There were dozens of them. Vampires, I mean. They were gathered in a wavy half-circle around Jasper's lean form, while they listened to his instructions. The moment they heard me arrive and sensed my smell, they all shifted noticeably, and it was almost comical how the great wall lowered severely in height as they crouched.

"That's just Jacob Black, my brother's partner," Jasper said, and right afterwards they seemed to relax, though I suspected that he was using his gift. They probably didn't give a damn about who I was. "He's also the Alpha of the shape-shifters' pack. They helped our family when an army of newborns invaded Forks, and now they will fight by our side against the Volturi."

_Shit, _I thought. _Sam won't be happy. _I wanted to correct him and tell him that I wasn't the actual Alpha, had refused to take the place, but I supposed he already knew that. As Rosalie had said, I needed to get these people on my side.

"I have a question," one of them said, a woman with skin that was a few tones darker than the rest, with a head of curly hair and scarce garments. "When will the Volturi come?"

Jasper chanced a glance at Alice, who was almost hidden behind him, her red dress swaying slightly in the wind.

"I suppose, about three months from now, when this season is over. March, then. It makes sense, since it's when my brother is due."

"There are many of us, which means that we won't need every single one of you on the field when the Volturi arrive." Jasper moved about with his hands behind his straightened back, and looking at him then, reminding us so much of the major he'd once been, it was easy to forget that just moments before he'd struggled with his bloodlust. "They won't come as an army, of course, but as the rulers of our world, so grab your fans and roses because we'll be met with a spectacle." Laughter rose amongst the group of vampires, as if they were sharing an inside joke, and the tension in the clearing decreased significantly. Jasper smiled, but his posture and his eyes remained serious. He went on, "That isn't to say that they won't pull any dirty tricks and send other members to our house when we least expect it. We mustn't forget that one of the people they're after is much more vulnerable than any one of us, and that he needs protection."

"We won't take any risks," Alice completed, taking a step forward, and she and Jasper exchanged a warm look before turning to the nomadic leeches once more.

I moved across the area slowly, my furry chest puffing out with the hope that filled it. Hope that Edward would get well. The way they talked made it seem as if everything would fall into place – Edward would recover and then he'd give birth in the beginning of next year's spring, and we were all here now to decide what we would do beforehand. I suddenly felt a lot more positive about the future.

"We don't know what the Volturi have in store for us, or what kind of gifts the people they've… taken under their wing have," Jasper said. "So, to make sure that nothing happens to our brother and his child, Ethan will stay with them, along with Jacob and other members of the pack and our family. Tonight he will be training with you."

I deduced that they'd already heard about his gift from the way they seemed to subtly tense or shrink. I supposed also that Jasper took notice of their trepidation, because right afterwards he added, "He's powerful, but he's a friendly guy, so there's no need to fear him." 

"Do you think there will be casualties on our side?" a tall woman with black hair asked.

Jasper was about to answer when Garrett stepped forward, his voice ringing out in the clearing like the echo of a large drum. "Siobhan, we aren't here only to hide from the Volturi or simply help the Cullens. We're here because we wish to fight for our freedom as well, and we all know what that entails."

"I do know that," Siobhan replied, her large eyes boring into his even from a long distance. And then suddenly it seemed as if she'd taken Garrett's warring spirit, and she appeared somehow huge and beautiful. "We have to be prepared for anything. It's in our interest to do our best in this war, so tonight we shall accept our differences as the links of our much needed unity." She swept the area with her scarlet gaze, without so much as a flutter of her long eyelashes, and she just reminded me of _someone_.

_Adele_. She reminded me of Adele. I thought I should ask her to make an impersonation and have an at-home concert.

I snapped out of my amused thoughts when I noticed that Siobhan was staring directly at me, and I realized that the _differences _she was referring to were related to our divergent natures. She was willing to ally herself to our pack as much as the Cullens. The idea warmed me up a bit. There were loyal people around here, and I wasn't bothered by their feeding habits anymore. It appeared as if they would ensure our victory, and that was all that mattered.

"That's right." Jasper nodded. "It's possible that the participation of the Quileute pack will come as a surprise, like it did when we fought against the newborns, with, may I add, no casualties on our side."

"But it's different now," Bella pointed out. "They're bringing gifted vampires."

"So are we," Alice reminded her. "It's why we're here tonight. To practice with our gifts."

"And to expand them," Jasper added. "To create strategies based on what you can do."

The next hour seemed to fly past me, although I didn't exactly interact with anyone, since my wolf biology didn't exactly allow me to speak. But I did get hooked to the show – I probably hadn't paid enough attention before, but now I noticed that vampires moved with a weird sort of smoothness, like they were moving through water. They were all collectively different from the Cullens, as if the fact that they drank… human blood set them apart from their world. Maybe it did. They were simply a lot more surreal, a lot less human-looking. They spoke in a reunited hush, just under the sounds of the wind and the tree branches crackling like chestnuts over coal, in different accents and languages and registers. It was all a multicultural miscellany of time periods. A wide variety, then. I got the sense that I was watching them through a piece of looking glass, and they were monstrous in their excessive beauty and strangeness. I thought of this but didn't actually mind it. I wasn't being critical, only going with the usual stream that shape-shifters followed, without the hate – I didn't hate these people; I understood that I was nobody to them, and as such I had no say in the kind of life they wanted to lead.

Siobhan was right. I just had to accept that we were different. And I should probably thank them anyway. Some of them appeared to genuinely care about Edward's safety, and so they accepted to put themselves in more vulnerable positions, allowing Ethan to take away their supernatural abilities and letting Bella neutralize some of the mental powers there. Or spread her shield. I supposed that's how her gift worked.

It was then decided that Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, and Ethan would stay with Edward when the Volturi came, in case someone tried to attack him. I'd eventually speak to the pack. I thought it would be best if I had Seth and Leah – and maybe Brady and Collin – there, too, because they were the youngest, except Leah, who'd want to stay by her brother's side. Although I still had to reflect on that, considering her fastness and all…

"Furry friend," Garrett muttered by my side. "What do you think about Kate?" he questioned. I would've rolled my eyes if I were in human form, but as it was I only managed to clamp my jaws. How the fuck did he expect me to answer that? As far as I knew he couldn't hear my thoughts. Like my imprint did. Edward would've carried the message if he were here. If he could be here. "I think she's an amazing woman, you know. I might even adapt to her lifestyle, although, from what I've heard, animal blood tastes like dirt."

"You'll get used to it," Jasper assured, smiling cordially. "It's worth their happiness." He turned his head back to where Alice was standing, speaking to a short vampire with very blonde hair. "Speaking of, Jacob…" He addressed me in a lower tone, and Garrett took the hint and left our side. "I can feel your misery from the other side of the field. I know Rosalie told you to come and interact with them, but, you know, I don't think they particularly like you, but they don't mistrust you either, so…" His eyebrows furrowed. "I think you should go back home. Back to Edward."

I lowered my muzzle as a sign of acknowledgment and thankfulness. It was true that I hadn't been able to get over my worry over Edward's state and my inner wolf was whimpering desperately inside my head, his need for Edward's closeness when his condition was still uncertain pressing against the distraction I'd been provided with. Because nothing could actually distract me _that _much. And, in fact, it wasn't so much the imprint that was calling me back – it was the love I had for him, the way I'd cared about him before he came back from Europe, and my concern for Thomas' safety. It made me think that even if I hadn't imprinted on my ex-leech, I would've still stuck with him, supported him. I would've still needed to know that he was okay.

I made to turn around, but Jasper stopped me.

"Jacob… Tell everyone I'm sorry, will you?"

I moved my head in a half-nod, and then took off, running towards the source of my happiness.

And, in that moment, the source of my worry.

«-»

"What do you mean?"

Carlisle pinched the bridge of his noise, his face set in an awkward expression. He'd spent the previous five minutes trying to explain what had actually happened to Edward, but he was too caught up in his medical status to really notice that I just fucking wanted him to speak in _English. _I was impatient as it was, because I really wanted to see my imprint, and if I didn't know better I'd say that Carlisle was doing it on purpose to hold things off.

"Well, Edward… His body…" Carlisle stammered. "It seems that a C-section won't be necessary. He'll be able to deliver the baby in the… traditional way. All that blood was shed when a channel was created, I might say, leading to the place where he grew a sort of… opening."

Emmett lifted his eyebrows. "You mean, like a va–"

"Emmett," Carlisle interrupted. "Please."

I rolled my eyes at them both. "And all of this happened naturally? Did he need surgery or something?" I asked.

"No, not at all. Things happened quite naturally, indeed. I can't say I didn't feel out of my element. I've done my research on Incubuses and the way their bodies change to accommodate their child, but I suppose I should've looked into how the birth usually goes. Although there aren't many records of that, since–" He trailed off, his eyes falling to the ground.

"What?"

"Since not many Incubuses managed to reach their due date." He sounded guilty when he said that, almost pained even, but I decided I wouldn't press him any longer. I just wanted to see Edward. Carlisle shook his head, like he was trying to dislodge some kind of terrible thought. "Anyway, I shouldn't have immediately assumed that the reason for that was because they couldn't deliver the child. Surely there are other possibilities."

I asked the million-dollar question, "Well, is he okay?"

Carlisle nodded. "Yes. Thank God. He needs a lot of rest, though. He lost a generous quantity of blood – not enough to justify a blood transfusion –, but he's bound to feel very weak when he wakes up. We don't know for sure if anything like this will happen ever again, so he should take it easy during the next three months. Also, Rosalie and I came to the conclusion that we're putting him at risk by letting him stay here, with so many members of our kind near our house. Their level of self-control is not very… comforting. And, besides, I think Edward needs a break from all this – it's bound to stress him further, and I think he's been under enough stress these past months. We thought it'd be best if he stayed in La Push. With you."

I didn't even need to actually think about it. The idea would've simply appealed to me if he weren't my imprint, and now that he was it put my heart in place for a running frenzy. Screw doing things _normally – _I missed living with Edward, and that way I'd be able to look after him like I knew he needed. And, of course, I agreed with Carlisle as far as the nomads were concerned. The mere idea of leaving him here, amongst so many human-drinkers, had me balling my hands into fists.

"Yeah, sure, whenever he's ready," I said, eyeing the door behind Carlisle. "Can I see him now?"

Carlisle gave me a short nod, stepping aside so that I could go in. The talk with him managed to lift my hopes, which made me enter the room with high expectations. Too high. I must have wanted him to look flushed and healthy again, and so when I saw that he was still unconscious, with that rather sickly pallor to his skin, I had to take a deep breath to calm my tightening lungs. They'd replaced his shirt with one of those blue papery gowns that people were forced to wear in hospitals, and I realized that'd probably been because the torrent of blood had been vast enough to taint his clothes.

But, hell, I was just so glad to see him.

"Hey, ex-leech," I greeted quietly as I sat on the side of the bed, and of course he didn't answer. I took his hand in mine, amazed for the thousandth time at the contrast between his ivory skin and my dark complexion, at the difference between his slender pianist fingers and the large frame of my hand. It was almost easy to ignore that he still had a needle piercing through one of his veins.

I reminded myself that he and Thomas were fine, and that was all that mattered. Laying my hand on the round bump that rose beneath the bed sheets, I thought with a smile that my son was safe. I kept repeating those words in my head – my son. My healthy kid. He and Edward had gotten through, and we'd all live to appreciate that, to be together for his growth, his learning, his annoying, whiny-ass moments – because it's cool to glamorize children when you don't have them, but I'd have one in my arms in three months and I needed the mental preparation – and obviously his soccer games. He'd move on to more American sports when he got older. Hopefully. But at least now I got the sense that wouldn't depend on his survival. My imprint and my son would be fine.

Touching Edward's cheek gently, I leaned over him and planted a soft kiss on his forehead. His dark bronze lashes flittered slightly, and I thought for a moment that he was going to wake up, but he settled into a state of unawareness with a slow exhale before I could begin to think of what to say to him. I wondered if I should call Carlisle to explain to him what happened, and then they'd have one of those conversations in Ancient Greek, using really long-ass terms and philosophizing about the Hippocratic Oath. Alright, maybe that wasn't a priority right then, but I could definitely see them doing that some time. Except they wouldn't use a dead language. I hoped.

I decided that I needed to talk to my dad to tell him about Edward coming to live with us. And also to quiet his mind, because I hadn't spoken to him in a couple of days and I knew my old man was worried.

"Dad, hey," I said nervously, scratching the wood of the stair step I was sitting on.

"_Jacob, where on Earth have you been?_" His voice sounded relieved and worried at the same time. Fifty-fifty.

"I swear I wanted to go home this morning, but something happened. Edward… He had a heat stroke."

There was silence on the other end of the line, until Dad finally said, "_Is he alright?_"

"Um, yeah, he is now. Carlisle and Rosalie managed to normalize his temperature, but then he started screaming and bleeding, and everyone had to get out of the house." I sighed, rubbing my hand over my eyes, and I realized I felt exhausted. "It was all a mess."

"_It's over now, son." _His ever-so-familiar voice washed over me like a gentle wave of tepid water. I needed to hear that, and it sounded all the more comforting coming from my old man. "_I will look into the manuscripts and see what I can find, something to explain this._"

"Thanks, Dad. That's really cool of you."

"_You're welcome. Just come back home soon, alright?_"

I took a deep breath. "Yeah, Dad, I sort of wanted to talk to you about that. Carlisle says Edward isn't really safe here now, with all the commotion, you know. So, perhaps…"

"_It'd be best if he stayed here?_" Dad finished.

"Yeah," I sighed. "If that's okay with you."

"_Jacob, you know there will have to be changes_–"

"The bed, yeah," I cut him off. That'd been the first thing I'd thought of when I imagined what it'd be like to live with Edward again. He was too far along to sleep in my bed. "We'll take care of that, Dad."

He posed no objections after that, and I agreed that as soon as Edward was fit to leave I'd go back home, and we'd spend Christmas together. As soon as I hung up, Esme appeared around the corner of the stairs and asked me if I wanted to eat something, and only then did I notice the grey luminosity that filled the room. The sun had already risen above the horizon, and I hadn't had a chance to get a wink of sleep or even take a bite out of something. She made eggs, bacon, toast, and orange juice, knowing that I was used to eating in large portions, and after I'd calmed the growling in my stomach I thanked her and went back upstairs. Back to my sleeping imprint.

Carlisle was there. Not as a doctor, but as a father. He was standing behind the edge of the bed, looking down at his son with a hand over his mouth. I thought he was feeling kind of guilty about something, from the almost sorrowful shine to his eyes. I decided I'd ask Edward about it later.

"My dad says he's okay with Ed coming to live with us for a while," I informed, hoping to break the uncomfortable silence.

Carlisle raised his gaze and smiled tightly. "Splendid. Thank you, Jacob."

With that, he left, obviously bothered about something, and then I was alone with my imprint. I wanted to keep watching him for any signs that he was waking up, as his long eyelashes fluttered slightly and cast moving shadows over his freckled cheekbones, but as soon as my ass thumped against the thin cushion of the chair next to the bed I felt my eyelids burning with the need to close them, my muscles uncoiling while exhaustion caught up with them. I crossed my arms over the edge of the bed, inches away from Edward's hip, buried my head in the warm nest, and before I knew it I was dozing off, my mind captured by dreams that I'd end up forgetting.

I'd gotten so used to waking up with his breath flowing across the skin of my neck, or with his fingers threading through my hair and massaging my scalp, I wasn't quite prepared for the living sort of flashback that followed. The weeks after Edward had been attacked and shamed by his family, he'd wake up too often with beads of sweat on his forehead, crying out in fear, and afterwards I'd hold him while his body was racked with sobs, until he'd settle down, but lately it'd been easier and easier for him to sleep, with the nightmares chased away by his own recovering conscious. And even when he had them, they weren't always so overwhelming and he managed to deal with it all on his own – in fact, I was sure he preferred it that way, and too many times I'd had to keep myself still, wanting to comfort him, but knowing that I'd end up going against his wishes.

It must have been past midday when I felt the bed tremble softly underneath my arms, and I couldn't help but open my eyes, startled, noticing that my hand had a spot of drool on it. There was that familiar itch running under my skin again, alerting me to the distress that my imprint was probably under, and immediately I lifted my head and drew in a sharp breath at the sight that met me. Edward was squirming, breathing raggedly, his face set in a fearsome expression, though his eyes were closed.

As usual, I tried to wake him up, with the sense that this time was different than the others. I felt his disturbed state resonate within me, and it was much stronger than I was used to, so strong that I felt rather fearful of whatever was going through his mind.

"Edward, love," I said softly, my arms coming up to wrap around his shoulders. "Wake up."

"No," he mumbled, his head shaking against my chest, and he sounded utterly _horrified._

"Darling, shh," I soothed, but he kept shaking his head back and forth, like he was denying something, or trying to stop something from happening, and immediately my head was filled with images of him twisting on the forest floor, helpless against Ephraim– that motherfucker's grip. My heart beat in uncontrolled rage, my muscles threatening to burst out of my skin. "I've got you," I said tightly.

"No, get off me!" he cried, trying to push me away, and my chest burned upon the sound of his momentary belief that I was _him. _That I'd ever be capable of hurting him like that. My stomach nearly rolled over in revolt.

"Baby, it's just me," I tried to assure him, and held his cheek gently. And that was when I noticed – his eyes weren't closed anymore.

"I told you… I told you we'd do it together. Can't you remember? He can't be–"

He was looking at me as if he needed me to _understand _what he was trying to say, as if he wanted to convince me of something, and I was stunned into silence, because none of it made sense. First I'd thought he'd been having a nightmare about the rape, and now he just…

"Ed," I breathed. "What's wrong?"

I was actually afraid for him, because none of his previous episodes compared to this. His beautiful green eyes held in them turbulent oceans that hung off their borders, brimming with an immeasurable sort of agony and… loss. He looked absolutely destroyed, and all of me throbbed with the need to do something about it. The image had my heart twisting.

"Thomas," he rasped between sobs, the tears in his eyes slipping over and hiding the orange grains on his cheeks under a shimmering veil. I mumbled another platitude, feeling like I was looking down at a dark hole, unaware of whatever was going on. "He's… H-he…"

"He's fine," I completed, finally understanding what he was so afraid of. This had nothing to do with Ephraim. After all that'd happened, Edward was crashing under the possibility of his son being in danger, not having been told what _I _had been told. "You and Thomas are okay now. It's over."

"B-but," he gasped, "the blood…"

"Ex-leech, that was just your body changing," I explained, wiping the tears under his eyes with my thumbs. His hands still held to my arms like they were his life support, and I had a moment when I was able to finally grasp the extent of his disquiet – if Thomas really had ceased to be, I would have been positively wrecked, and I had no idea how I'd cope with mourning his loss while Edward was unable to put the pieces back, seeing as he'd be a wreck himself. Like he was now, although there was a new glimmer of hope in his emerald eyes. I didn't quite know how to put the message across, so I thought it'd be better to quote Carlisle. "Your dad said you grew a sort of opening, through which the baby will come out when the right time comes. That was just it, love," I whispered comfortingly, laying a kiss on his forehead. "Obviously that must have been painful. It was _your _blood only. Thomas is fine. And so are you now."

"I really thought…" he mumbled brokenly, and his body convulsed with a loud sob, but this time I could sense the relief under it. I couldn't bear to spend another minute seeing him like this, so emotionally fragile, without hugging him properly, like he deserved, so I made him scoot over and climbed up, sitting on the hospital bed with my legs stretched in front of me. I wrapped an arm around Edward's waist and helped him get seated between my lower limbs with his shaking shoulder against my chest. He hid his face in the crook of my neck, his tears dripping onto my skin. He was sobbing so hard in my arms I felt a little afraid for his heaving lungs, but I didn't do anything besides rubbing his back and stomach and kissing his copper-colored hair.

It'd been a long time since he'd poured out his feelings like this, and it felt like I was living a déjà-vu, going through the days after he'd been abused all over again. But, strangely, I didn't think of it as a ride backwards, as if the months of recovery had all been for naught – I simply got the sense that as he shook against my chest the bitterness and new-found hardness that he'd dressed himself in after having been kidnapped by that monster were fading away, dissolving in his tears.

I felt like I had my Edward back, his softness exposed to me like a ray of sunlight on a summer day, and I could reach out for his sensitive, tender soul again, without seeing his face hardening into stone at the mention of Ephraim's name, or his body tensing subtly as a reaction to a conversation about the Volturi, his true thoughts and emotions always stored away behind a mask, with the latter so well hidden not even _he_ could find them.

He'd come back from Europe a bit older, a bit roughened, and perhaps it was unreasoned, maybe even a little selfish, but–

I was glad that the Edward I had in my arms was the one I'd fallen in love with, the one who took me on wild rides while I flitted past the album of his passions, normally laid out on those pages like they owned them.

Yes, he was more vulnerable, more fragile, and I supposed that was okay – because that was the real Edward, and I wouldn't trade him for anything.

«-»

**A.N.: Sorry for the delay. I got caught up in Tainted Mirrors, which has been updated (as has Alteration Found by reallyhatebananas, and you should totally check out both), and I needed some time to get my inspiration back for this one. Anyway, no, Thomas is not dead – because, guess what, I sort of grew attached to the kid, too –, and I hope you people forgive me for that cliffhanger. I'd love to hear your thoughts! **_**Alla prossima, ragazze and ragazzi!**___


	28. This is reversible

EPOV

Christmas and New Year's Eve hurried by in a blaze of white and shadows, while I settled back into Jacob's house and my body recovered from the good scare that it'd been given. That I had been given. The first week right after my heat stroke was the worst, and it crossed out my chance to celebrate the holiday with Jake or my family, just as it ruined the day for my boyfriend. My family wasn't particularly concerned, since it was only one year amidst a vast multitude of years that they had lived through and would still live through, and right now they were more focused on training for the likely fallout with the Volturi, but I regretted, perhaps childishly, not being able to enjoy the season, make the Christmas tree, and most importantly – buy a mountain of presents.

It almost _hurt._

I'd always felt the need to give people something on these special days, and I didn't think it was patronizing, as some people did, or hypocritical, as if I were trying to repent for my supposed neglect during the rest of the year. A gift was more than an element belonging to a tradition; it bore a message that could have an apologetic tone, or a thoughtful tone, or something else altogether, and it was summoned by this one opportunity to materialize one's feelings. Besides, if the average person were to give gifts to their dear ones every day, eventually they'd go bankrupt.

To narrow it down, I liked handing presents. I loved the thought of making someone's day with one, but seeing as only a few people (well, Alice was actually the only one) didn't question me much about it during random times of the year, I had to wait patiently for these particular days in order not to have to explain myself. Indeed, I gave it a lot of importance.

So when Jacob had carried me back to his, or, as he preferred to call it, _our _bedroom, seeing me too tired to keep track of the conversations flowing in the living room, somehow exhausted by the cheerful hum that buzzed in the air, and silently slipped a leather sort of chord around my neck, at the same time as he kissed my lips and murmured "Merry Christmas", I burst out crying.

Like a freaking toddler.

"Ex-leech," Jacob said worriedly, "what's wrong?"

My throat was tight around the fist that'd punched through it. I couldn't quite understand it myself, but I was pretty sure that it had to do with something much less serious than what'd happened to me throughout the year. I fingered the necklace that he'd given me and looked down with tear-filled eyes at the wooden symbol that pended from it: a small chestnut rhombus, into which the outlines of a bird had been carved. The sheer simplicity of it was in some way very beautiful, I thought, and my chest heaved upon a slight sob.

"Did you make it?" I asked in a shallow exhale.

Jacob wriggled slightly on the edge of my bed, next to my hip. "Yeah," he replied, and I could hear the nervousness in his voice. "Do you like it?"

"I swear I'll keep it with me for the rest of my life," I whispered, tracing his cheekbone with my thumb. The enameled brown of his eyes brightened upon my words, while a relieved smile spread across his face and he relaxed into my touch. "You're really talented," I said honestly. I'd known he had the potential to be a woodcrafter, but to see his gift put in practice for _me _was just the ideal way to pick up my mind and send it soaring. My hands found his larger ones, roughened by work, the skin russet-brown and fire-warm under mine, and for the hundredth time I admired the strength that they held in them and the artful nature of their movements, capable of turning a piece of wood into a figure such as this, of fixing cars and, most importantly, fixing people.

"Thanks," he drawled, a swaggering confidence curving around his handsome features, and I chuckled through the lump in my gullet. "It's actually a mockingbird, you know. I didn't want to draw a wolf into it, because I gave Bella something like that some time ago, if you don't remember, and I wanted you to have something that no one else had. I remembered that time you started sort of citing the song to ward off the pain the day your family found out what happened, and… A lot of Native American legends are about mockingbirds, actually, and there are some that say it's a symbol of intelligence."

Heat rose to my cheeks, even though I didn't really tend to doubt my mental capacities. Again the bothersome feeling that something was missing, the lack of reciprocity, flipped my lungs, and I released a small hiccup that made Jacob's eyes tighten.

"Baby…" His big hands cupped my face. "Tell me what's going on," he pleaded.

"I'm tired," I said in a shuddering exhale. It was true – I was exhausted. The days after the heat stroke and the horrible episode in which all that blood started slipping out of me were filled with a dizzy sort of lethargy that wouldn't let me move around without someone's help, and whenever I lay down the lights in the ceiling would swing like ships in a sea storm. This was one of the rare occasions when I was fully conscious, but I still struggled with fatigue as I tried to enjoy the moment – the _night _– with my wolf. "And I don't have anything to give you."

_That _was the actual reason, the key set of words. The heavy smells and light chatter in the living room hadn't registered as signs that this night was any different from the others, and only when Jacob put the necklace around me did I realize that it was Christmas Eve.

I had completely lost track of time.

"Ex-leech, I don't mind."

"But I do."

"You've given me enough. You give me something every day."

Lies. I'd given him nothing but a shitload of work throughout the week. Sam had even spared him from his patrol duties so that he could take care of his imprint, which certainly would've been easier for him if he didn't have to tend to me practically every minute, except when I was sleeping. I vowed to myself that I _would _make up for it; when I fully recovered I would make all his effort and heartwarming dedication worthwhile. He deserved the same or even more from me.

After a moment he sighed, wiping the dampness on my cheeks with his thumbs.

"Nothing I say will make any difference, will it?"

I shrugged, breathing raggedly through the sob that was building up in my throat.

"It'll make me love you more."

"How _dare _you be smooth while you're crying?"

And so the night ended with a lighter atmosphere, both of us falling asleep in our brand-new bed (which did in fact take up most of the space in Jacob's bedroom, so that our other stuff had to be moved to the bathroom), and the following morning brought with it a whimsical sort of energy which was rather foreign to me, and after a few moments of gentle kissing my arousal welled up like a tsunami wave, and before I could really realize how _not _tired I felt I was riding his thick cock, my moans loud as he thrust up into me.

So Billy, smart man he was, decided that he and Charlie should go on more fishing trips. At the break of dawn. That was _just _the right time.

My biological parents certainly wouldn't have been so understanding. Not that I objected to Billy's matinal escapades.

But back to what matters – January had a special spot in its list of numbers. The fourteenth represented something for Jacob which I hoped he would _mind_, but even if he didn't eventually he'd have to recognize that his birthday couldn't go by without me showering him with all things necessary to make the day worthwhile. I set the alarm clock for five thirty on my phone, having gone to bed earlier than usual, and when I woke up Jacob, whom I knew to be a heavy sleeper, was still snoring quietly, his caramel eyelids flittering subtly above his eyes and the shifting of obscure energies in his conscious.

I took a moment to appreciate the thought that he was really here with me, beautiful and seventeen. A lone ray of sunlight filtered through the window blinds and lay down on his cheek, and its russet hue seemed to go aflame, the velvety texture turned almost copper-colored, while I held his youthful chin between my forefinger and thumb, thinking that last year, around this time, I was curled up in a ball somewhere down in South America, alone, hurting, hopeless – I never would have thought then that such an unlikely change would sweep over my life and have me lying next to someone who made me happier than I'd ever been. Through all the adversities that we'd encountered throughout our relationship we stuck together, and I was sure that when things settled down we would still have other problems to face, and we'd _still _be together.

I was so happy about being with him and being able to wake up next to him and happy that he was happy, too. But mostly I was happy about the fact that he existed.

Planting a soft kiss on his temple, I decided that I should probably get things ready for the day, so I slipped out of the bed as quietly as I could and dressed myself up for the sunny chill that Alice had foreseen, putting on one of Jacob's sweatshirts, the most recently used one, so that while I prepared his breakfast his woody scent could rise up to my nose in a gentle waft. A jigsaw of pancakes and eggs and toast and cake, as well as orange juice, covered the kitchen table, an improvised morning feast resting on its smooth surface. My stomach announced its craving as the different smells grew heavy in the air, and my mouth watered, but I contained myself. Easily.

Thank God for the lack of food cravings. Jacob's life was hard enough as it was…

"Edward!" Billy wheeled himself into the kitchen with a surprised expression on his face. "Up so early?"

"Yep," I replied, grinning, and waved my hand over my handiwork. "Pancakes?"

"That'd be great."

I made a gesture that indicated he should wait a moment and then went back to Jacob's bedroom, where he was still sleeping soundly. Sitting gingerly on the edge of the bed, I curved my fingers around the back of his neck, rubbing it gently so that he would wake up. His sleep-ridden eyes opened slowly, narrowing for a second to block out the light that poured from the window, and while they adjusted to it a smile danced on his lips. I bent slightly over him and touched my lips to his smooth forehead.

"Happy birthday, sleepyhead!"

Jacob stalled, the drowsiness in his eyes dispersing in a flash. He sat up against the headboard, his black eyebrows pursed.

"You're not supposed to know which day it is today," he accused.

"Now Jacob," I said patiently, "I know that during the last weeks I've been kind of _off, _but you have to wake up to the world at some point and fall into the routine. I'm glad to know that today is Saturday, the fourteenth of January." Jacob was radiating exasperation, so finally I dropped the mindless rant. "And seventeen years ago the universe came up with you – lovely idea, by the way –, so you should probably get up and ready for the ensuing celebration. If you were wondering, no, I didn't really believe you when you said you were born on the twenty-ninth of February. Do you think I'm that gullible? Of course I had to go and investigate."

"You're more excited than me," he deadpanned. _Visibly, _I thought in response. "Who told you?"

"Your dad. Who is waiting for you to start eating breakfast. So hurry up!" I rushed, pulling him off the bed with quite a lot of difficulty. Damnit, he was heavy. And not exactly willing to cooperate.

"Ex-leech," Jacob whispered, curling himself around me, his nose buried in the crook of my neck. "Wouldn't you rather–"

"N-not now," I whispered back, my breathing shaky as his fingers trailed down to my ass. As much as the idea appealed to me, I'd planned the whole day beforehand, and the morning program wasn't tending that way. I couldn't say the same for the night of course – that'd hopefully be filled with what the two of us were too excited about for the moment.

After some more persuasion, I managed to get Jacob to dress up and come with me to the kitchen. His jaw dropped when he took in the sight of all the food covering the table, and before I knew it he was shoving a piece of toast into his mouth and sitting down with a thud.

"Jesus, Jake, one would think you were raised by wolves," I joked, helping myself as well.

"Happy birthday, son," Billy said with a chuckle. Jacob hummed in response, gulping down some orange juice, and I noted with some alarm a frown marring his forehead. Instantly my bubbling spirit cowered under the worry that settled into my stomach.

Something was bothering him. And today of all days… Squirming slightly in my seat, I made an effort to open my mind to his thoughts, wincing briefly when the usual static burst into my head, and then navigated through the haze, searching for his voice amidst all the muffled sounds in order to find out what was wrong with him.

"Ed, I hate to admit this, but, damn, you've made progress. Have you been taking tips from Ramsay or something?"

Fuck. It was so much harder to decode the origin of his discomfort when he was trying to distract himself. To distract me. He knew well enough that if something was troubling him I'd be the first to pick up on it.

"Ramsay doesn't _give _tips. He shouts them at you," I replied with fake casualness, making a stronger attempt to concentrate…

_Ah. _There it was – the age issue. Jacob wasn't actually growing older, and that would be the reality of things until he stopped phasing. Almost a year had gone by since he'd become a wolf, and he was experiencing for the first time the feeling that time had frozen for him, his body stuck at twenty-three and his mind wrapped in the clutches of adolescence. He'd been readying himself for this, but the truth was that now that the passing of years was being presented to him, now that he was being reminded that today he was supposed to be seventeen, he was shaken by the feeling that he'd been set apart from the rest of the world. That he was... imprisoned in permanency.

I had the sudden urge to launch himself at him right then and wrap him up in my arms. I hated that his thoughts had been diverted in that direction. That he had to go through this.

"Well, Charlie will be here any minute," Billy said suddenly, interrupting my thinking and disrupting the rather tense silence that fell over us. Jacob and I exchanged a knowing look, as he smirked at me, as if he wasn't undergoing an internal crisis, and I stood up, taking the initiative to leave the kitchen before Charlie's arrival and probable heart attack upon seeing his daughter's very pregnant ex-boyfriend.

"I'll see you later, Billy."

"Later, Dad."

As soon as I closed the door behind me, I sighed, watching my wolf lean back against the wall with an anticipatory grin on his handsome face. But our plans weren't converging then. I had different ideas.

"I wish we could go back to the time when you were more open about things, Jacob."

He furrowed his eyebrows, confused. "What're you talking about?"

I moved across the bedroom to where he was standing and took his hand in mine, squeezing it slightly. "You know you don't have to shield me from your problems, right? I'm here for you."

"Of course I know that," he chuckled. A pretty poor attempt to cover his distress, I should say. "What exactly do you want me to be more open about?"

"Your feelings, Jake." I frowned, and my arm snaked around his waist. "You've been walking on eggshells these past weeks, afraid that I'll burst if you do or say something. It's over, okay? I'm fine. But you're not, and I want you to let it out. Like you used to."

Finally his façade crumbled, as did his expression, and the downturned lines of his lips were carved painfully into my chest. He dropped his head onto my shoulder, his hands splaying on my back.

"What's the point? You already know what's wrong."

Saddened by the despondence in his voice, I rubbed his back gently. "Well, I was hoping you'd talk about it. Or maybe you want to scream about it, which is fine, as long as you wait for your father and Charlie to be a good mile away from here."

His body was rocked by a lone chuckle. "Ex-leech," he sighed. "I don't really have anything to say."

I stepped back to observe his dark countenance, the purse of his eyebrows and the tightness around his lips. There was probably a lot that he wished he could get off his chest, but something was acting as an impediment. Most likely he didn't deem himself capable of verbalizing his thoughts.

"You feel like everybody else is having a go at life while you're stuck both in time and space," I said, hoping that would be a good enough incentive. His head snapped up, and the deep brown of his eyes swirled around a spark of recognition. He nodded curtly, taking a deep breath.

"Exactly. Yeah. I've been trying to push it down, but today I'm finding it harder to do that. Everything's reminding me that I'm not _normal_." He pushed forward, and I moved out the way only to watch him start a pacing waltz that almost made me dizzy. Guilt perfused my mind, a slight needle teasing and scraping my conscience. I should have foreseen this, shouldn't have slapped the topic right onto his face. "Generally people don't have to _ask _for something so simple. Generally they ask for the opposite. But I never wanted this, okay? So why– why me?"

The anger and frustration leeched from him, he let his body drop onto the bed and then stared up at the ceiling, his lips caught in a grimace. I sat next to his hip and touched his jaw so that he would look at me.

"There is no plausible reason. The way it's been justified doesn't satisfy your doubts."  
>He shook his head. "No, Ed, it doesn't. It doesn't compensate for all the time I've spent running around these lands in search of some bloodsucking creature. For the fact that I'm now s<em>tuck<em>."

I'd thought of this before: it was all quite unfair, indeed. Jacob was a teenager, with hopes and fears and raging hormones and a still growing brain. He should be allowed to ride around in his motorbike instead of hunting vampires, to fix cars instead of fixing the problems that had been dropped onto his shoulders. And he shouldn't feel like he wouldn't ever cross the bridge to a world unexplored and full of opportunities. That he'd forever reside in this state of repressed youth, never able to get past it or let it free.

I knew what it was like, and I'd never wish it on anyone, especially not my wolf.

"Come with me," I said. "I want to show you something."

Having heard Charlie's cruiser take off some minutes ago, I knew that the coast was clear, so I led Jacob through the kitchen and out of the house, towards his battered garage.

"Are you planning on shoving a screwdriver down my throat to shut me up?"

His question was accompanied by a bitter chuckle, and I flinched involuntarily. Memories diluted by time became alight with color and sound, and my chest shuddered through the cold that seeped into it, as if I were back in Rome, watching Ephraim, the one that'd hurt me so, the one who'd seemed so intimidating for such a long time, choke on the blood that'd filled his mouth and ran down his chin.

I didn't know if I'd lost my footing, or if I'd just frozen, but suddenly Jacob's arms were wrapped around me, his nose buried in the hollow above my collarbone.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, and I heard the strain in his voice, felt the trembling of his lips against my skin. "I'm so sorry, darling." He lifted his head and cupped my face, his own twisted in regret and worry. "I didn't mean it like that, okay? You know that, right?"

I nodded quickly, giving him a faint smile as I recovered. "Yes. It's fine," I assured him. If he had said that before the heat stroke I would've shrugged it off, would have had the protection of my own coarse bitterness. But there had been a revolution in my spirit when the possibility of my son dying had hit me full force, and the shield had fallen away, leaving me susceptible to the things that – really – I couldn't and shouldn't avoid.

My hand instinctively found my swollen stomach, where Thomas was wriggling his little body. The movement put me at ease, and I exhaled slowly in hidden relief. Lately he'd been twisting around in his home as if he were all ready to come out and play, and though it often hurt when he kicked I was pretty damn glad that I could feel him moving.

Jacob poised his hand over my belly as well and smiled widely when our boy shoved his foot against it.

"That's really cool!" he exclaimed in amazement. I was happy to see the spark back in his eyes, the joy etched onto the counters of his countenance, but I was aware of how deep his frustration ran and I wanted him to understand that there was more out there for him than he thought now, that I would make sure his issues would be chased away.

"I said I wanted to show you something," I reminded him, tugging on his arm in a successful attempt to make him turn in the direction I wanted. I was surprised he hadn't noticed it as soon as we came in, taking his reflexes into account, although I'd also told Quil and Seth to push it against all the brass that made up the wall on the other side, across Jacob's stoic frame. I decided he'd probably need some encouragement in order to, well, move. "What're you waiting for?" I chuckled. "I thought you'd start working on it right away and ignore me for a few weeks at least."

Jacob's arm snaked around my shoulders, surprisingly enough. It seemed he wasn't all that willing to launch himself at the beaten and broken Aston Martin in front of us. It wasn't exactly _beaten – _there were some minor dents creating shallow hollows on its silver bumper and slanted trunk, and there were scratches on the sides, the paint faded all over and covered in dust. Its worst problem was not visible, however: there was something wrong with the engine. Something that hopefully _he _would be able to fix. The brakes were also in need of a close inspection and probably some repairing, which was even better.

"You gave me a wrecked car," he stated neutrally.

"It's not _wrecked. _It just needs your attention."

"Ex-leech…" Now there was a hint of non-neutrality in his voice, something quite, quite comforting – hopeful wonder. "That's the most fantastically twisted idea I've ever heard of."

I slipped my arm around his waist and nodded proudly. "I'm glad you think so."

I spared him from all the details that he didn't seem at all interested in anyway, seeing as he was now jogging up to the ruined car as if it were on the other side of the country. Alice had been charged with the task of winning it over at the auction in Seattle, something that must have aggravated a lot of bidders, and having it brought to Forks. The rest was Seth and Quil's doing, who had kindly pushed it through the unpaved roads of La Push. Seth had refused any retribution from me, but Quil hadn't minded it when I'd handed him a nice and worthy bill. I was still thinking of how I could compensate Seth for it – for being a great person in general, in fact. I'd have to figure something out.

"Oh, shit," Jacob said suddenly, bringing me out of my reminiscences. A glower darted through his cheerful staring. "Tell me you didn't paint _your _Vanquish only to wreck it afterwards. Please."

I laughed. "No, I didn't. My current situation didn't quite allow me to do so. But there are these centers for angry people that annually promote the destruction of vehicles. It's quite exhilarant. They even use hammers."

Sensing the mocking tone in my voice, Jacob rolled his eyes. "Be serious. Your Vanquish is intact, isn't it?"

"As if I'd let anything happen to Sylvia. She probably needs a wash, but aside from that it's as good as when I bought it. But I couldn't help noticing, probably due to the obvious drool coming off your chin, that you found her really attractive, so… Instead of getting a new one, I decided that you'd have a lot more fun if you could _fix _it before driving it much more pleasurably than you would if you _hadn't _fixed it."

"You're a genius," he breathed, striding towards me to give me a kiss that turned my grey matter into goose. When he pulled away we were both breathing heavily, desperate to get some air into our euphoria-filled lungs. "Thank you."

I smiled, soaking in his gratitude and happiness, but there was something I still needed to tell him. This hadn't been a mere attempt to distract him from his problems. I was glad it'd lifted his spirits, but I wanted him to understand that this didn't have to necessarily be an escape – it could also be the solution.

"This is what you like to do," I affirmed, sure of what I was saying. "Is it what you would also like to do in the future?"

He inhaled slowly, as a touch of sadness fell onto the counters of his eyes. "Yeah, I'd love that. Really. If I weren't–"

"Why do you think your dad wants you to go to school?" I cut him off. "Why do you think _I _support that as well?"

Jacob seemed all of a sudden annoyed, and his thoughts proved that the apparent absurdity of it was the cause.

"Honestly I have no fucking idea, Edward."

"But I told you, Jacob." I frowned, sweeping my thumb over his cheekbone, my touch making his eyes soften. "We're going to live to the fullest. This phase, this pause in your growth, is no more than that – a pause. It's temporary. Whenever you want, whenever you're ready, you can change that. You just have to stop phasing– Jake, can't you see? This is reversible."

I was reaching deep into my own memories and I knew it, but the whole subject was still somewhat of a tender bruise to me, even if my situation had dramatically changed. I needed to force him to see, to register the idea that humanity, normalcy, and change were still within his grasp. For him they were more than just concepts, whereas for me, when I had been immortal, they had seemed so distant and unreal, completely out of reach. Vampires, especially the lone ones, at some point or another reached the summit of hopelessness, seeing no way out, no shore. Only a vast ocean. Sea water all around.

I never, ever wanted Jacob to feel that way.

"But," Jacob countered, still looking wary, "my dad and… the pack–"

"Your dad just wants you to be happy, Jake. And the members of your pack won't be in it forever. You think their imprints want to spend their whole lives here? Conforming to the supposed rules of a community they don't belong to?"

A pensive glaze hid the focus of his very brown eyes, while he contemplated my words.

"What about you?" he asked suddenly. I was slightly taken aback, not having thought of that. "Do you want to stay here?"

"I…" Words failed me. I didn't want to make this about me; _his _wishes and needs were more important. But the fact of the matter was that I had a child growing inside of me, and as much as I loved Jacob my son was my top priority. So much had happened in this town and besides – people would find it weird, if they ever got to see me walk my kid to school knowing that I wasn't with anyone. Or that I wasn't with a girl, at least. Now that he asked me I felt rather undecided… Whichever problems arose during Thomas' development would be nowhere near as serious as what we were so used to dealing with, but…

God, it was just this _environment. _Vampires coming and going. Battles and chases taking place just under our noses. A small town full of gossip and simplistic ideas.

I didn't want this for my son.

But Jacob... I was sure that he didn't want to be a shape-shifter, that he wanted to lead a normal life. However, I still didn't know if he wanted to stay here, with his dad, his sister, his friends. _Damnit._

"You don't," Jacob realized, and I supposed it wasn't that difficult to get there. He gave me a confusing smile. "You want to start anew."

"Yes. I suppose so," I mumbled, allowing him to think that was the main reason. His smile grew beautifully wider.

"Then… let's go. After we kick the Italian bloodsuckers' asses, after Thomas is born, let's go somewhere else," he said excitedly. I chuckled, affected by his enthusiasm.

"You're sure about this, Jacob?" He'd be leaving a lot behind, but then again – there were always people and places that everyone had to let go of at some point or another, although I was hoping we could settle for something moderate. A place not too far from here, where we could live together and raise our boy and still manage to visit the family with enough frequency.

He leaned down slowly, staring into my eyes with such dark intensity that I felt my cheeks burn under his warm touch.

"I've been sure about this for a long time now, ex-leech. Wherever you go, I'll go."

I thought for a moment, considering the possibilities that'd been on my mind for a while now. My family owned a property in Reedsport, Oregon, and when I'd managed to gain access to Carlisle's mind I found that he was measuring the options. I had to leave Forks before the birth anyway, before the Volturi came… Eugene was only a few hours away, and it had most of the elements needed to make up a sufficiently peaceful and healthy environment, from where I was standing.

Later that week I called Carlisle to ask for his opinion, trying at the same time (subtly) to get over the awkwardness that marked our conversation in the beginning. Once again I convinced myself that the best thing to do, for all of us, would be to forgive him, even though some small part of me ached at the thought that he didn't care about me as much as he had us believe. Of course I _knew _he did, and that was why I was making an effort to restore our relationship.

I supposed this could also be called growing up. Both Jacob and I had done enough of that throughout the months that'd followed my return to the States. It was better than being stuck, obviously, but it wasn't as easy as some people made it out to be either.

"_It's got a sufficient number of academic facilities, too, Edward,_" Carlisle insisted on the other end of the phone line. I felt undecided, even though I'd been the one to make the suggestion, and he'd been attempting to persuade me to talk to Jacob about it. "_And any one of us would be willing to take care of Thomas while you and Jacob get settled and finish high school._"

"But I want to be the one to take care of Thomas–"

"_Just while you're at school, son." _Carlisle's voice took on a soothing tone upon the sudden thickness of my voice."_In fact, during his first months I don't doubt that you'll be there for him most of the time. But afterwards you'll have to divide your schedule… Unless you don't want to go to college."_

I couldn't help it. My eyes were burning, the edges wet with tears, and I struggled to make my voice sound normal, so that it wouldn't reveal the absolute chaos that'd been bubbling in my head.

"I don't know, Dad. I-I don't know. I mean, I always had that in mind. I've always been sure that I'd go to college, but I don't even know what I want to study yet. Maybe I want to get a job instead, but then– With the way things are right now, how _am _I going to find something with just a high school diploma? But even if it were easy to find a job, w-what… Shit, I don't even know what I want to do."

It figured that the drama of going through a transition period, of feeling lost, could be a dozen times more upsetting than a bunch of power-seeking vampires travelling across the Atlantic just to snatch me and some of my family members away. I'd been putting the subject on hold for some time, and with each of the listed worries my mind had become heavier and heavier. I was aware that trying to brush them off was the worst way to solve them, but having always been a disciple of the philosophy I'd used to get Jacob to perk up I'd simply painted them as small bumps scattered across the road.

They probably _were, _but there was a still a huge lump clogging my throat and the tears kept falling as I gazed at the night sky through the kitchen window.

"_Edward, it will be alright. You're strong enough to build things all over, son. I know you are. When you want something–"_

"I get it," I completed, and the lump enlarged. "But I told you – I don't know _what _I want."

"_You need to calm down, alright? Most teenagers go through this._"

"Well, most teenagers don't have to think about what they're going to do to sustain their family."

"_That's not the issue here, or is it, Edward?_" he said rather condescendingly.

I shook my head, even though he couldn't see me. "No, not really. I'm just–"

"_You're scared."_

"Yeah," I admitted, and suddenly I found it much easier to breathe. I exhaled slowly through my mouth. "I mean, Jacob is so sure that he wants to be a mechanic, and he told me he didn't want to go to college. I think with his skills and a high school diploma he'll manage to find something quickly enough, while I… I have no idea."

"_Don't you like medicine?" _he asked with a rather hopeful tone, probably wishing I'd follow in his footsteps.

I did. And the truth was that I _really _wished I'd finally do something with my knowledge. I really did want to go to college, even if it was to enroll in something that wasn't related to medicine, but then I'd have to _divide my schedule, _dedicate much of my time to my studies, another portion for a possible part-time job that could raise our household income to a satisfactory level, and I was afraid that wouldn't leave me much time for Thomas and Jacob.

"I do," I conceded, even if after my turning human my interests had diverged somewhat. The heat stroke and my cooperation had shaken me back into my previous passion for the sciences. "But I also like music and psychology and even culinary arts…" I trailed off, revealing for the thousandth time just how eclectic I could be and trying to distract him from the real matter at hand.

Something that didn't work out so well. Carlisle managed to understand my dilemma.

"_Obviously, Edward, you are afraid, which is normal at your age and in your situation. But you're also worried about something else." _He knew me too well. "_You don't have to do everything at once. You do realize that, don't you?"_

I didn't. College would have its costs, which Jacob's salary obviously wouldn't cover if he got a job. I wanted to help in; I didn't want him to carry all that responsibility. But then I'd be a father and a student and an employee and a boyfriend and still a _teenager._

_Fuck. _Fuck, fuck, fuck.

And I still didn't know what I wanted to study, or what I'd do with whatever degree I got.

"I want to go to college. I'm sure of that," I told him. "But then there's other stuff… There are costs and you know people with too many qualifications aren't accepted everywhere and… And maybe I can find something while I'm studying, but then– how much time would I have left to take care of my family?"

"_Slow down,_" he ordered calmly. "_I'm paying for your education, and that is final._ _And during Thomas' first years I'll also give my contribution. It should be enough for you three to get settled and once everything's stable enough and you have a degree you can worry about starting a career._"

"Dad, that wouldn't be–"

"_There's no point in arguing, Edward. I don't want you under too much stress, especially in your condition. You're still recovering. From everything. Give yourself a break, alright?_"

I wouldn't refuse his help, not at this point. Before Ephraim's attack and the temporary rupture with my family I had, most of the time, accepted his kindness and I didn't see any reason why that should change. I wasn't proud and he knew it.

But Jacob… Would he be okay with this?

"I don't know, Dad." I frowned, threaded my fingers through the untamed strands of my hair. "Jacob might not be so willing to go with it."

"_The decision is not up to him. You're _my _son, not his."_

His sternness was startling, probably because I usually expected leniency from him, and perhaps that was also the reason why his shunning me after he'd discovered I was pregnant had stung as much as it did. But now its root was different – he really did worry about me. Enough to drop his tranquil posture and take matters into his hands, regardless of other people's opinions.

I sniffled, suddenly feeling a lot better. Not only had he succeeded in calming me down, but he had also proved that he _cared._ Any doubts I might've had before dissolved then.

"Okay," I finally said, and wiped my eye with the back of my hand. "Thanks, Dad. So much. I love you."

"I love you, too."

I hung up the phone after we'd said our goodbyes and quickly scrubbed my face to get rid of the tears. It wouldn't be long before Jacob got back from his garage, where he'd been working all afternoon, and I didn't want him to see me like this. Didn't want to talk about this again. I was done for the night.

"Hey, beautiful," Jacob whispered in my ear, his arms wrapping around me from behind. His chin fell onto my shoulder.

"Hey," I rasped.

Jacob turned me in his embrace, bending slightly to take a better look at me.

"You've been crying."

"Yeah, I do that a lot," I admitted with a throaty chuckle, not even bothering trying to hide it.

"With good reason," he replied with some bitterness. His fingers brushed a strand of hair off my forehead. "What's wrong, darling?"

"Nothing." I shrugged. The subject didn't weigh on my mind anymore, but after the conversation with Carlisle, after getting it off my chest, my brain was too tired to replay all that could go wrong and all the ways it could be prevented. Besides, it was too late in the evening to set my optimistic theories aflame and hand Jacob a more complicated version of things, the one that constituted the real world.

Jacob's lips pressed against the top of my head, and I leaned my weight against his strong body, my recently dry cheek resting on his sculpted chest.

"Whatever it is we'll get through it, okay?" Jacob whispered, and the sound of his voice combined with the nocturnal buzz of the forest life outside had my eyelids growing heavy with sleep.

"Okay."

Of course. Of course we would. However difficult it could be, with Carlisle's help and our own effort, we'd get through it.

«-»

**A.N.: Hey, guys! I'm sorry I took so long to get this one out, but finally it is here and I can tell you that future chapters are already being written. By the way, Tainted Mirrors has been updated, so anyone who's interested should go check it, especially if you're fond of our dear Sam. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I hope you all go see what **_**kulning **_**is (people from Scandinavia should know), because I think it's pretty awesome.**

**Reviews are welcome as always. Until next time!**


	29. I think your water just broke

EPOV

Carlisle and Esme's house in Reedsport sat on a low hill that peeked down at the usually deserted beach through the space between the clusters of vegetation that surrounded it. As white and grand as the one that we had left, it bore the same Victorian strokes that Esme had flicked upon the house in Forks, but the modern windows and the minimalist traits were missing.

In fewer words, it was evidently more old-fashioned, and it reminded me a bit of the place that I'd lived in when I had been human – before Carlisle had found me, I mean. We settled into the house, then, without any problem, and I felt at ease as I stored my belongings in the huge wardrobe on the far side of the bedroom, where Jacob and I would sleep for the next month or so.

Until _something – _or rather, _someone – _burst into my bubble of peace.

"It's alright, ex-leech," Jacob almost cooed, as if I were a _child, _and took the sweater I'd been folding into his hands. Destroying my work in the meantime. "I'll take it from here. Go get some rest."

"Do you _mind_?" I snapped, snatching the shirt from his careless hold, my nerves beginning to simmer.

"Hey, calm down," Jacob said sternly. His face hardened as he stared down at me, and I didn't _like _it. Not a bit. Who the hell was he to order me around?

"How am I supposed to calm down when you constantly treat me like an invalid?" I grumbled angrily, folding the now rumpled piece of clothing. _Again._

The bed whined – goddamnit, Carlisle and Esme could at least have bought a new one – as Jacob sat next to my suitcase, his face sporting an unreadable expression. My cheeks burned under his scrutiny, and my irritation swelled, because the way he was staring at me was making me feel more and more like a hysterical housewife and it was _humiliating._

"Wouldn't you do the same if it was the other way around?" he asked suddenly, quietly. The cracking embers inside my head burst into a wild flame.

"No!" I growled.

"No?" Jacob said skeptically, his eyebrows raising as if asking a question that he already had the answer to.

The fire died out. Immediately. Truly, deep down, I agreed with him, knowing that I had the tendency to more or less smother people when I thought they were in danger or in any sort of vulnerable position, and I'd already recognized that, in my situation, I needed more care and protection than usual. It was just– for so long I'd shut people out when they tried to help me and when I finally let someone in I held on to him with claws and teeth because his love and concern was so precious and made me feel, for the first time, like I wasn't worthless after all, and…

God, what the hell was wrong with me?

"Darling, it's okay," Jacob whispered, wiping the tears that slid down my cheeks with his thumbs. His gentle touch reminded me of what I'd made him endure, how undeserving I was of his care, and my head shook between his strong hands, until he stilled my chin with his thumb and forefinger, holding it firmly. "Hey, none of that, alright? You stop treating yourself like that right this second, Edward Anthony." His voice was woven into a stern tone, even though he was trying to lighten the mood.

"But I shouldn't have spoken to you so harshly," I rasped, and my vision blurred again.

"That's right." He nodded. "You shouldn't have. But you don't need to beat yourself up over it." A sigh escaped his mouth, and the following words were uttered so softly I didn't even think they were meant for me to hear. "I wish you'd stop doing that."

"I'm sorry," I said, rubbing my knuckles over the dampness that covered my eye. It seemed that no matter how many times I convinced myself that I was over this – this tendency to punish myself every time I did something a little less than perfect – the truth was that I still did it all too frequently. "I love you. You know that, right?"

I did wonder for a moment if he really did, if I hadn't after all made a strong enough effort to show how much I cared for him…

"Ed, Jesus Christ, what's wrong with you today?" he huffed, dropping his hands. "Yes. Of course I know that."

"Well, I was just making sure. No need to get pissy," I muttered.

"Fuck, ex-leech," Jacob chuckled. "You don't ride on an emotional rollercoaster. You _are _an emotional rollercoaster."

Sighing, I scratched my brow lightly, remembering the reason why I was having these mood swings. Damn hormones. "I'm pregnant."

"Yes, I can see that." My hair flittered as he laughed throatily on top of my head, his warm hand slipping beneath my wool sweater and pressing against my stomach. "But you're also an emotional rollercoaster when you _aren't _pregnant."

"Jake," I rasped, and my throat clicked dryly as I swallowed. The heat of his touch frothed over my skin, set aflame a need which lately I'd been failing to suppress. Immediately my fingers threaded through his overgrown hair and pulled him down for a kiss, my lips latching onto his with unexpected fervor – I could sense his surprise, feel it in the way his mouth failed to respond at first, but in less than a second our thoughts converged, and when my tongue demanded entrance into his hot cavern he willingly gave it to me. The warmth and velvet softness of his tongue against mine in a lovers' battle roused my member from its hung position inside my jeans, which suddenly felt too tight.

"Aren't you tired?" Jake asked as he momentarily pulled away, only to make the question redundant with a new wave of kissing which heightened the heat in the pit of my stomach. I seized the hem of his shirt and tugged on it until he lifted it over his head and threw it aside, revealing the rock-like outlines of his muscles, the rippling flesh beneath the hard prominence of his chest, the silk skin. God, he was so fucking beautiful; I had to touch him, couldn't wait, or else I'd go berserk for sure.

"No," I breathed against his mouth. "No, not at all." I pushed him down onto the bed and climbed on top of him, straddling his hips. "Why? Are you?" I asked teasingly, leaning my weight on my elbows on either side of his head so that I could keep on lavishing his mouth, swirl my tongue around his, feel the taste of his full lips.

"No," Jacob growled into the gap between my lips, and reversed our positions in barely a second, until I was lying on my back. His eyes had darkened beyond the darkest of browns, hunger written all around his pupils, and his lips descended upon mine with such dominant passion that I couldn't prevent the moan that trembled in my throat.

His fingers fumbled with the button of my jeans, until he managed to get the job done and pull the denim down my legs. Right afterwards he removed his own pants, while I sat up to take my sweater off. As soon as we were fully naked, our boxers discarded on the floor, Jacob's mouth locked around my Adam's apple, his tongue lapping at my blazing skin. My back arched slightly, my baby bump meeting his chest, and my fingers threaded through his thick hair. Fucking hell, I couldn't wait to have him inside me – it seemed to me as if we hadn't done it in ages, even though it'd been only days ago. The night before we'd hit the road he'd yanked all my energy out of me just with his fingers, and though it had been incredibly pleasurable I couldn't wait to tighten my inner walls around his cock.

I was needy. And pregnant. And very horny.

"Jacob, don't take too long," I said between pants. We'd reversed positions again, because the astronomic size of my belly (I was going to give birth to a beast for certain, and I mean that in the most endearing way) erased the possibility of making love in our preferred way – me lying down with him on top of me, face to face, as he claimed me over and over. There was something simultaneously tender and animalistic about it – his wolf lunged at his mate as if it were in heat, and at the same time the Alpha in him took care of his imprint, made me feel protected. I couldn't wait to finally have Thomas in my arms, even if the knowledge that he was inside my body reassured me somewhat, perhaps automatically, and to have the chance to feel Jacob's cock pulse inside me and see him rock back and forth above me in tempo with his thrusts. Feel the warmth of his gaze on me, another piece of my sense of self fall back into place, returning from wherever Ephraim had thrown it into after tearing it apart.

I knew I wasn't completely healed yet, just as I knew that it was moments like these that reformed my strength.

While making me mad with lust.

"Jacob, please!" I gasped, my hands tightening around the edge of the headboard. My member throbbed between my spread legs, bent on either side of his hips, as he prepared my hole for the size of his cock with two thick fingers. He added a third one, and I cried out at the intrusion, a miscellany of pain and pleasure and unconditional love tearing through my burning body. "Oh… oh, fuck…"

He was one hundred percent aware of what he was doing. Curling his fingers just in the right direction, when the sting around my entrance was still present, touching that special spot within my channel. The head of my penis was damp beneath the bead of pre-cum that was leaking from the slit, and the ache in my stomach was splintering my rationality into tiny shards. God, I needed him. I needed him so much.

"What do you want?" Jacob asked teasingly, a smirk playing on his beautiful lips. Bastard. He was such a beautiful, strong, caring, funny bastard.

"I want you," I whimpered. "I want your cock inside me. Fuck me. Please, please…" I was a babbling mess, but honestly it was all _his _fault. He and that goddamn talent of his to send me into an upward vortex…

"Damn you, Edward. Why are you so tight?" Jake grunted, his member so full and hot inside me, filling me to the point where I thought I might explode, that I turned into an even messier mess, my blubbering reaching a new height.

"Why are you so big?" I asked back. "Jesus Christ, I love you. I love you so much," I breathed out against his temple, my voice desperate, brushing against a whining tone. He was so thick, damnit, and my inner walls felt every single inch of his breadth, stretching as he pounded up into me. My fingers pressed against his wide shoulders, my nails carving crescent moons into his scorching flesh, and I'm not sure whether it was the sting or the way my hole clenched like a vice around the base of his dick, but suddenly a sound that wasn't quite human thundered through the minimal space between us and made my bones rattle.

Fuck me harder. That was sexy as all hell.

Jacob shoved his cock harder into me – harder and faster. Despite our positions, he was clearly the one in control, his hands on my hips pulling me down to meet his powerful thrusts, setting the pace, and I could come just from the noises he was making, his growls echoing in my head and rocking my thoughts like an earthquake, the blood that pulsed through the veins in my penis speeding up…

"I'm not going to last," he almost snarled. I opened my mouth to reply, but suddenly his middle finger slipped between my lips, which clamped down around the digit as if it were _something else, _my tongue pressing against his blazing flesh, even though I couldn't understand the action, until it left my mouth and reached down beneath my ball sack, after collecting a drop of cum from the head of my cock, and–

_What?_

My _other hole_ tightened around his finger, wet from _my_ saliva and _my_ semen and vestiges of lube and, _holy mother of all saints, _he was fucking me with his cock and with his finger at the same time. My muscles coiled, ecstasy simmering along with my blood, and I couldn't quite understand it but guessed, amidst the warmth and heaviness of our breaths, the rumble of my wolf's chest, the pleasure that misted my head, that the fact that a bit of my own cum was inside a part that we'd left unexplored until now, combined with his ceaseless thrusts, the rubbing of his hard flesh against the hypersensitive counters of my channel, was just… too much.

I cried out his name as I fell apart, whiteness flashing behind my eyelids and undulating through my head, beaming as warmly as a ray of sunlight. My whole body shuddered around the force of my orgasm, soaring through open space, no bounds holding me to Earth. As soon as it ended, I heard Jacob shout my name amidst a cocktail of swear words, his body stilling beneath me, his warm cum coating my insides, and opened my heavy eyes to see him relax into the mattress, white streaks strewn across his sculpted abs.

"You're beautiful," I whispered tiredly. My eyes closed on their own, as Jacob shifted beneath me, his cock slipping out of my hole. Soon enough I was lying on my side, while my sudden exhaustion pulled me under.

Just before I fell asleep, I felt his lips against my forehead, his voice a slight rumble against my skin:

"So are you, my ex-leech."

«-»

"Aw, look at that," Esme cooed, tracing the outline of Thomas' head on the picture of the ultrasound we'd made earlier in the day. My fingers drew a similar pattern on the hard swell of my stomach as I lounged in the living room couch with the precious pieces of paper in my lap, my swollen feet lying on the dark green corduroy extension. My legs had been killing me all week, although admittedly I hadn't done much to relieve myself of the tired ache that'd been weighing me down.

Who knew helping Esme with some of the household chores could be so exhausting? And she hadn't once told me to have some rest or anything, despite Carlisle's persistence that I should… hibernate or something. He was being overprotective, and so was Jacob, and only Esme and Rosalie seemed to understand that being pregnant didn't equal being highly prone to a total collapse, even though the latter hadn't been in my situation. There was plenty that I could still handle.

Although during the past couple of days I'd been tending to disagree with my own maxim.

"He's lovely," I whispered tenderly, my eyes drawn to the figure of my son in the picture. His head could be made out perfectly amidst the smears of black and grey, and as I touched my stomach I tried to imagine where it would be positioned. Probably near my fingers, since his foot was most definitely trying to dislodge one of my ribs.

"Everything okay, Edward?" Rosalie asked suddenly, her eyes lifting from the fashion magazine in her lap when she heard me moving around to get in a more comfortable position. It was useless.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I waved her off, but I'm sure my wince betrayed me. "Where's Jacob?"

"Right here, Cullen," he laughed in my ear, and I would have jumped out of my seat if it weren't for _my _(heavy) _condition._

"Where have you been?" I tried to ask casually, but a hint of irritation stuck to my voice as I spoke. He'd been there for the ultrasound, but then he'd disappeared into God-knows-where, as if he even _had _things to do.

"I've been with the pack up in Olympia. They're trying new tactics for the battle."

I stalled. I hadn't expected him to say that – seeing him around almost every day had diluted my worries regarding the Volturi's upcoming visit. Which, I realized suddenly, was only a couple of weeks away. And suddenly I felt like an idiot – he'd probably been stressing over his pack, his responsibilities, while I sat here like a damn couch potato silently whining about his absence. But, what was even more upsetting was the fact that I was still mad, for some reason or another.

"And you don't think I deserved to know that?!"

Jacob frowned confusedly. "Ex-leech, I did tell you this morning."

I froze, heard my throat click as I gulped down the lump that'd begun to form there. The scrutiny of both my mother and my sister set my cheeks aflame, while Jacob's lack of understanding of why I was acting like this and _my _own confusion teased my tear ducts. I attempted to stand up on my own, my back protesting loudly as I did, and immediately Jacob rushed to help me.

"I'm fine," I snapped, shoving his hands away from me.

"No, you're not. Do you _mind_?" he hissed back, and put my arm around his neck so I could lean on him. Fuck. I'd made him angry. I'd upset him, cut his last thread of patience, and now he was going to leave me, I was sure of it–

"Let me go!" I rasped, as dampness gathered in the corners of my eyes. Instead of complying, Jacob slipped his other arm under my knees and scooped me up, carrying me out of the living room and up the creaking stairs. "Jake, put me _down_!" I cried into the crook of his neck. My protests were not only in vain but also incompatible with my actual wishes – I was holding on to him as tight as I could, my arms wrapped around his shoulders as I sobbed against his strong chest.

Why was he doing this? If he was going to leave me why…

"You take those stupid ideas out of your thick skull, ex-leech," he said all of a sudden, laying me down on our bed. _I'd been speaking out loud_… "Or I might just have to kiss them out of you."

I looked up at him then, eyes blurry and fingers shaky as I caressed the smooth skin on his neck and willed my breathing to slow down. The idea seemed ever so tempting, but I was afraid that our displays of affection wouldn't turn into anything more intimate than that, because all of a sudden a tide of sleepiness waddled over my brain.

"Okay," I mumbled. Jacob smiled, his pearl-white teeth bright and perfect against the delicious darkness of his lips, before bending over me and pushing his tongue into my mouth, his hand smoothing down the disarray of hair strands that'd fallen over my temple. I sighed into the kiss, my emotions settling down completely at last, tamed by the movements of his lips against mine. "I'm sorry for being an ass to you," I whispered when he pulled away.

"I don't mind it when you give your ass to me, ex-leech."

"That's not what I said," I laughed.

Jacob raised his eyebrows in mock surprise. "Really? I couldn't hear your cute, drowsy mumbling very well. Plus, your fangs kind of distracted me."

A chuckle welled up in my throat – I knew my canine teeth were a bit sharper than the average human's, but this was the first time he'd ever made a reference to it. "Don't worry. I don't bite," I cackled.

"I beg to differ. I know from experience that you _do _bite," he retorted. His thumb suddenly poised over the side of my upper lip and made it slid upwards, revealing the pointy tooth underneath. "Geez…" He winced. "I'm just glad you do it lightly."

"You're welcome."

"Now," he huffed, his breathtaking face taking on a more serious expression, "how is this one treating you?"

His hand lay upon my belly, beneath which Thomas' little foot moved abruptly in a kicking motion. I cringed slightly.

"He's been kicking me for one hundred years now," I joked. It was true that I'd been able to feel him changing position and pressing his limbs against my stomach for more than a few months, but lately his movements had been causing me some _hardcore _discomfort.

"Hey, Tommy," Jacob whispered, his brown gaze drawn to our joined hands, glued to my navel. "How's it going? I know you're probably having the time of your life in there, but try not to break one of Daddy's ribs meanwhile, alright? Papa will take you to all the concerts and parties you want, but do us this one favor, okay?"

I closed my eyes and smiled. "You're delusional if you think that I'd let my son go a party with _you._"

"Oh, yeah? And why is that?"

"You would _so _embarrass him, Papa."

My eyelashes fluttered open when his lips fell upon the tip of my nose. "Just think about it, Chicken-Daddy. You wouldn't want your little boy going out on his own, would you?"

"I know I want him to gain some social skills at least," I laughed, and caught his bottom lip between my teeth. Jacob slipped his tongue into my mouth in turn, and I buried my fingers in his jet-black hair as we kissed.

"Get some sleep, Ed," he muttered, and puckered his lips against the skin on my forehead. "I'll join you in a little while."

"Mm, where are you going?"

"I have a call to make. I'll be back."

Figuring that he'd probably call his father, I shrugged, shifting until I was on my left side, and fell asleep within less than a minute.

«-»

It was settled – once I gave birth to this hyperactive child and found the time to spread a towel outside and lie down under the sun I _would. _Not only because the beach beyond the forest fizzed with precious heat, the sand looking white and soft from my bedroom window, but also because my skin was _pale as fuck. _I couldn't remember ever being tanned, mostly because I'd been damned for decades to walk around like a ghost, but clearly I'd been spending too much inside the house, because my skin was nearly as pale now as when I'd been a vampire. A change was overdue.

"Goddamn," Jacob whistled from the doorway. "You look like you should be in the cover of CQ."

"Been reading my sister's magazines, love?"

"Always with a critical perspective," he stressed, stepping closer, his reflection in the mirror in front of us contrasting against mine. While he was tanned and muscular, I was fair-skinned and lanky – oh, and while his abs were in perfect shape mine didn't even exist, replaced by a huge baby bump. I'd never given that much importance to my appearance, but now…

"Jake?" I said softly, my cheeks growing hot, red lakes flooding the freckles on my face. "Do you still find me… attractive?"

His reply startled me – a sign that I wasn't feeling as insecure as I'd had myself believe.

"Ew, no, ex-leech. You look like Shrek."

"I am so _getting _you for that!" I shouted, my voice clashing against the sound of his laughter. My hands balled into fists by my sides.

"Come on, then! Waddle after me."

I stopped, well, waddling to take in what he'd said without snatching the nearest object and hurling it across the room, grabbing the doorframe to steady myself instead.

"What did you say?"

Jacob crossed his arms over his chest, amusement sparkling in his eyes.

"Waddle. after. me."

"I am pregnant. How _dare _you?" Didn't he know how much my back hurt? How much my _legs _hurt? How much _everything _hurt? "You know what? I bet that if it were the other way around you wouldn't even get up from bed, you…"

"What?" Jake cackled, walking slowly towards me, like a wolf stalking his prey. "What am I?"

"I have nothing sufficiently offensive to say, _asshole_. Unlike you I care about people's feelings."

"Oh, man! Twenty points for the irony! This kid should run for president!"

To be honest, I had no idea what I wanted to do to him, but his sarcasm was getting on my nerves, and I couldn't let him get away with it, so as soon as he was near me my arm shot through the space between us, my fingers itching to pinch him.

Nothing too serious. I was pregnant, not mentally ill.

Although with the way my moods had been swinging one couldn't really know.

But _of course _Mr. Snarky just had to slip away from my crab claws, his laughter growing with each passing second. He was enjoying this a little bit too much, for some reason. As if the fact that my walking skills were suffering because I was carrying _his _son was a laughing matter. My frustration forced a huff out of me, much to Jacob's amusement, until an idea flashed brightly in my head, my inner diabolism taking over.

My hand flew to my stomach all of a sudden, as I bent slightly, fingers clenched around the wood of the doorframe. I shut my eyes tightly, my teeth gritting together as if I were in actual pain, and I didn't have to wait long – in less than a second Jacob was in front of me, sounding so winded I almost allowed guilt to destroy my plan.

"Edward? What's wrong, baby? Is it Thomas? Are you in pain?"

And he was just in the right position, too. Perfect. Still bearing my pain-filled mask, I moved closer to him, my fingers quickly flying through the short distance between us and doing a fast dance against his armpit. Jacob's shoulder nearly jumped out of its socket, his body retreating instantly.

"What the fuck?!" His vibrant brown eyes were wide with surprise as he stared at me. "You tricked me! You tricked me and then you tickled me!"

"I think…" I trailed off, my loud laughter ringing in the ample bedroom. "I think you should press charges!"

"That's very funny, ex-leech," Jacob grumbled bitterly. "Next time I'll let myself be caught instead. You don't need to scare the shit out of me."

"I'm so-sorry," I chuckled. Jacob's frown didn't fade, however, but my amusement certainly did – it died out like a flame hit by a sudden gust of air, because in that moment a sharp pain crossed my insides, a quiet explosion radiating outwards, and I sucked in a breath through my teeth, my vision blurring upon the wave of near-unawareness that crawled over my mind. Flashes of sheets tainted with blood and echoes of my own cries inundated my brain, then, and my arms quickly wrapped around my stomach… "J-Jake?"

"What?" I heard him snap, as if he was very far away. My hands fumbled for something to help me steady myself.

"Something's wrong…" I groaned, the pain escalating to a new height, accompanied by the inflation of my fear. _Please let Thomas be okay. Please._

"Yeah, right. Like I would fall for that again."

"Jake!" I didn't know if it was the way my face was twisting in agony or the desperation in my voice, but finally he realized that I wasn't fooling around and soon enough his arms were around me, holding me in place. My hands gripped his biceps as if they were a life buoy, squeezing for all it was worth when something… when something wet began to run down the inside of my thigh.

"Baby, calm down," Jacob whispered in my ear. My breathing had picked up, while memories shimmered inside my head – I felt as if I were living the dream I'd had months ago, after my heat stroke. The dampness was growing, slithering over my skin. "Baby, look at me. That's right, beautiful. Listen to me," he said gently. I couldn't understand how he could be so calm… And why the hell was he smiling? "It's not blood, Edward."

"Huh?" was my eloquent response.

Jacob smiled, his eyes glistening over an emotion I couldn't distinguish. I drew in a quiet breath when the realization also dawned on me: the fluid that'd been slowly spreading between my legs was coming out now at a faster pace than what I deemed normal, rushing out of me in a huge gush.

"You see," he chuckled, "I'm no expert, but judging from what I can see… I think your water just broke."

«-»

**A.N.: These two little kids are going to have a child. Something to think about. Anyway, **_**guys **_**and **_**chicks, **_**I would love to know what your thoughts are, and if you are mad at me for the cliffhanger, then please: free your rage. See ya! (Figuratively, of course.)**


	30. Now push!

JPOV

I watched my imprint walk across the room with rapt fascination. And amusement, as well, although I'd have to be _extremely _inconspicuous about it, because I could already imagine him yelling at me if he caught sight of one of my smirks. The hormonal flood that'd inundated Edward's brain and body would have me drowning, too, before I knew it. But meanwhile I could just sit here, in the corner of the room, in a very comfortable armchair, and stare at him as he waddled back and forth, at the pace of a snail, with his arms bent behind his back like chicken wings.

He looked hilariously beautiful.

"Are you sure being on your feet is a good idea?" I asked him for the third time since Carlisle had left us alone in the room where our son would be born. It reminded me a bit of one of the sceneries in a horror movie I'd watched once. White and clinical, with a table full of surgical equipment, which Edward was bent over, and a normal hospital bed and another with foot stirrups that had been wheeled in moments before, the room was unbearably large – and a bit scary, too, for _some _reason.

Edward gripped the edge of the table, his hand rubbing circles on his wonderfully huge baby bump, popping out of his body like a triple-sized watermelon, as he breathed out slowly.

"I'm fine," he replied, but his eyes betrayed his discomfort.

"Do you want me to open the window?" I asked, hoping the fresh breeze carrying the scent of sea waters would help somewhat.

He shut his eyes tightly, his face caught in a grimace. "Whatever," he groaned.

I stood up, bothered by the fact that he was in pain and I couldn't do anything about it, and moved across the room to open the window, allowing the smell of flourishing vegetation and salty water to stream into the house. In the far distance, a grand bay stretched in a soft curve around the deep cerulean of the Pacific Ocean, and a boat lost itself in the blurriness of the horizon, disappearing beneath the blue luminosity of the open sky. A waning moon of sand stood between the foam that crawled over the shore and an arch of trees, belonging to an emerald forest that reached the backyard of the house.

"This is all very quaint, you know," I said, breathing in the fine aromas and the striking visuals. "It could fit in a pretty nice postcard. Don't you want to take a look?"

Edward shuffled towards the spot where I stood, his hand reaching out for every surface he came upon so he could lean on it and give himself some impulse. I thought of how achy his back had to be now and winced inwardly. But he'd insisted on pacing around, as if it would change anything – he was clearly still hurting, and I wasn't sure if it was even safe in the first place.

"Yeah, it's pretty," he sighed absently, sparing the view a quick glance. His fingers were splayed on his belly, and as my eyes strayed to it I imagined Thomas beneath the fabric of the hospital gown and Edward's pale skin, ready to come into this world. The daydream manipulated the edges of my lips until they turned up in an excited smile.

Which quickly vanished when Edward released a sudden moan and his lovely eyes filled with tears. He grabbed my shoulder to steady himself, his legs wobbly. I wrapped my arms around him, a bit dazed, because I'd never watched anyone go into labor in real life and it was scarier than I'd expected. Until then I'd had the sense that I'd stepped into a sitcom, after having been on the end of Edward's anxious sarcasm.

But it wasn't funny anymore. The contractions were getting evidently stronger.

"Alright, Ed, that's enough. Come on, sit down." Gingerly, I led him to the armchair in front of the TV, an old thing that creaked when he tried to get into a more comfortable position.

He flinched. "Sounds like a protest against all this weight," he muttered.

"It's an armchair, ex-leech." I chuckled, squatting in front of him. I had the perfect angle – his stomach seemed even larger from below, its roundness coming up to hide a part of his chest and stand below his lowered chin. "It can't grasp the essence of aesthetic appeal." Smirking, I rubbed his calf in a vague attempt to massage it. He smiled – or grimaced – in appreciation. "You look divine."

"Yeah, well, I'm still heavy," he said, even though a light blush had spread beautifully across his cheeks as if my comment had painted them itself. "Ask my back."

I could only give him a sympathetic smile and be thankful that I wasn't going through it myself. As wonderful as the advanced pregnancy had made him look, seeing the way he carried himself often sparked some worried thoughts in my head.

"Are you feeling better now?"

The side of his lips turned up in an apologetic smile. "Not really," he huffed out. His green eyes shot down, and through his obvious pain I could see that he was contemplating something. Perhaps he was, like me, imagining what Thomas would be like, if his skin would be dark or pale, if he would have red hair like his daddy. If he'd turn out to be a small version of Ephraim, which didn't represent a problem for me, to be honest, because regardless of what he'd look like he'd still be loved. Very much. "Are you nervous?" Edward murmured, lifting his curious gaze.

I considered the question for a moment and came quickly to an undeniable conclusion. "Yeah, I'm kind of nervous," I admitted. "You?"

"Yeah, I'm kind of nervous, too," he said in a quiet voice. I laid my hand upon the bump that rose beneath the thin fabric of his hospital gown, a subtle indication of the danger that the birth could pose to both of them. But I had a feeling that wasn't what Edward was referring to – beneath my hand, beneath his skin, Thomas was relishing in his sufficiently grown status, with his little head, his little body, ready to be held by our waiting arms. That's what I was nervous about, even though I couldn't quite understand why. I supposed that it was just the_… importance_ of this moment. The importance of this day.

I was startled out of my thoughts by a change in what was happening under my hand. Edward's skin seemed to solidify into concrete, becoming so hard that I had a small feeling he was turning into a vampire again. But Carlisle had already told us that this would happen – it meant that he was having a contraction. Edward was gripping the arms of the chair, his fingers buried in its padded structure, and his lids were shut tightly. It may have lasted about a minute or so, ending with a quick exhale that slipped past his gritted teeth, but it felt like an eternity to me, during which I had to watch him go through it, unable to diminish his discomfort.

"I suppose I should get used to that," I mumbled.

"I'm going to ignore that, Jacob," he said in reply, and a frustrated huff left him amidst a rose-tinted glow that bloomed beneath his skin and conceded him a sort of comical appearance, which was stunning all the same. "I mean, really, you're not the one who has to get used to it," he snapped, and I almost laughed, because only seconds before he'd said he was going to ignore it.

"I know, baby, I'm sorry." I swiped my thumb over his knee in a gesture of consolation. One of the things I'd learnt over time was not to try to _explain _myself and simply let it go when my very pregnant and hormonal imprint blazed up in unreasoned anger.

I might have had to dial one of the numbers on a leaflet about friendship hotlines to get to that conclusion.

_Well, what? Desperate times call for desperate measures._

"No, you don't know." He crossed his arms over his chest, above his protruding stomach, and it resulted in a picture that I couldn't help but smile at. "You didn't have to go through the so-called morning sickness – yeah, right, more like _all-day _sickness –, the headaches, the back pain, the _heartburn…_" He huffed. "It's not funny!"

"I know, baby," I chuckled. Damnit, he was cute as all hell. I stood up and leaned over him, taking his face into my hands and kissing the top of his head. "But soon enough you'll have Thomas in your arms – just think about that."

Soon enough his mood shifted, settling into a cushion of peace and contentment. He smiled softly as he looked down at his baby bump, his fingers stretching over it. When he raised his head again I noticed the gleam in the green of his eyes, as green as the bottom of a lake, and for the millionth time I thought he was the most gorgeous thing on Earth. I took the chance to lower my mouth to his and kissed his lips with a recently-found sort of tenderness. It was just that… The pregnancy made him even more _cherishable_ than before. It made me want to handle him in a fantastically new way.

We drew apart after a moment, and Edward's fingertips fell on my brow and scraped the skin carefully.

"You think things are going well up in Olympia?" he asked.

"I'm almost sure they are, ex-leech," I replied honestly. Of course I couldn't be one-hundred percent certain that all was going as planned – and obviously I was rather worried about the safety of my pack mates and the Cullens – but I had to hope that nobody would get seriously hurt and transmit that to him. In no time he'd be lying over that stirrup bed, probably in agony while he tried to deliver our son – he definitely didn't need the added stress, to wonder how the others were faring up in Forks.

The next half-hour or so crawled by as if it were giving us a taste of torturous eternity. The contractions hit Edward more and more frequently, making him free all sorts of pained noises when the pain went past the limits, and meanwhile I almost panicked, my nerves on fire. I wanted to comfort him, but I had no idea how. Everything seemed to be about to go haywire, until Carlisle showed up, like a bottle of water in a desert, but the fact that it'd taken so long for him to come, added to my edginess, made me snap at him as soon as my eyes met his.

"What the hell took you so long? Can't you hear him from downstairs?"

Carlisle rolled the sleeves of his blue shirt up to his elbows, his eyebrow condescendingly raised. "Most women suffer before and during childbirth, Jacob. It's absolutely normal. Now, will you please help my son lay on the bed?"

I wanted to go on firing my rage at him, as if he were to blame for my imprint's pain, but I was held back by the groan that slipped from Edward's mouth. I noticed the way Carlisle's eyes tightened and realized suddenly that his son's condition troubled him, too, but apparently this was the way that things were supposed to go.

Sighing, I slipped my arm around my imprint's body and gingerly lifted him off the armchair, feeling my heart pick up its pace, because soon, so soon, I would get to see Thomas. My kid.

"Come on, ex-leech," I whispered in his ear as I led him carefully to the bed. "I'm right here with you."

«-»

**Jasper's POV**

Our forces were ready. As we stood in the middle of the wide clearing where we'd defeated Victoria's army, prepared to tear through the Volturi's front, we watched the black cloaks advance towards the arch-shaped line that we were forming, our minds set on getting this over with as quickly as possible. I could hear the wolf pack growl in unison behind us, their animal hearts pumping wildly inside my head like a chant, while they shuffled their paws across the forest ground. They were barely a mile away, within our hearing range – the Volturi would hear them, too, of course. That was the point.

At least half of our vampire members were not within the Italian coven's view. They stood on each side of the clearing, crouched over the damp soil of the woods, or squatting on top of the trees, ready for a possible attack. If one of _their _soldiers attempted to dodge us, they would have to face yet another enemy, and then another and another. We were everywhere.

And, of course, if one of them moved towards us we'd have enough reason to rush our own attack. The wolves' presence was likely to set off one of their leaders, Caius, whose ancient fear of any creatures with fangs and fur would probably overshadow the only vulnerable piece of rationality he had left.

Finally the black cloaks came to a halt, and their hoods were thrown back, revealing their faces. Aro was in the middle, having had his position returned to him when his thirst for power forced him to make a decision himself. It was why they were here – Aro had decided not to let his guard run towards the house, his pathetic fondness for spectacles like these always at the top of his priorities.

What a pitiful shitbag. Back in my day leaders went straight for the enemy's head.

So of course the pattern of Alice's visions had changed. And we'd chosen to leave the wolves out of this, as a sort of test, in order to clear her sight. And of course Aro knew she would be watching. It all felt like some sort of silent agreement – they were destined to come to this very spot, today, and they expected us to be here, waiting for them.

Hell, I'd say they had no idea what'd hit them, but I could feel Aro's trepidation from a distance. Like Edward had said, he was getting panicky. The crisis in Volterra was putting a strain on his nerves.

"Come closer," our pseudo-king cooed, his palms raised in a welcoming gesture. His words were directed at no one in particular, or perhaps any member of the Olympic coven, since neither our leader nor our spokesperson was present.

I stepped forward, evidencing my role here. I was sure that if my little brother were here he'd be the one to stray from our group, to act as a representative, but as it was someone else had to do it. And now I knew as much as he did as far as the Volturi were concerned, because I _never _walked into a battlefield without gathering as much data as I could about my adversaries.

I swear to God – my brother was an encyclopedia. When our first training session had finished, I'd rushed back to the house, silently scared out of my wits for the kid's safety. He'd been on the verge of falling asleep, still a little too pale and weak because of the blood loss, but when I'd mentioned our preparation for the Volturi's upcoming visit he'd snapped back to reality, a torrent of information streaming out of his mouth as if there was no tomorrow.

"Get some paper and a pencil," he instructed. I chuckled at his sudden burst of energy.

"I'm sure my memory can handle it, bro."

Without any difficulty, despite all he had to say. Caius was an easy target, his sadism outshining his grasp of reality. His encounter with a Child of the Moon was still fresh in his mind, and he'd go, well, batshit crazy once he heard the wolves' snarls.

"Aro," the blonde vampire growled, a sneer twisting his face. His panic flooded my own brain. "What is that _smell_?"

"Werewolves, Caius!" I shouted, my voice thundering across the clearing. "They're right behind us, waiting for a _snack_."

Two of their members rushed to hold him back as he lunged, which kind of crushed my hopes that we could get started instead of beating around the bush.

"I see Carlisle and his coven have a slight fondness for pets," Aro said, the smile on his face playful and childlike, but the rage that ran through him shone off his scarlet eyes. His gaze strayed to our newest member. "Oh, dear Bella, you're one of us now!" My sister's hand slipped into Ethan's gentle hold, and of course the subtle action didn't escape Aro's notice. His eyes widened, wonder treading through the blood that swam in his irises. "And you have a new mate, I see. Stupendous – I was under the impression that your bond with young Edward was unbreakable. Speaking of, _where is he?_"

"Why don't you ask your tracker?" Tanya said slyly. Her hate as far as Aro was concerned equaled my resentment towards Maria. She and Kate wouldn't rest until they destroyed Aro for what he'd done to their sister, even though Irina had been asking for it. At least, those were my thoughts on the matter. But it was understandable – they were still mourning her death.

Aro's fury blazed up within me, and I directed what I was feeling second-handedly at him. At that fake fucking smile. He didn't reply, choosing to clasp his hands in front of him instead, eyeing us like he was so much damn better.

Once I got close enough I wouldn't hesitate to snap his head right off his neck. I'd kill him myself. If he thought he could touch _my _mate with a single finger to make her join his group of slaves he had another thing coming.

Obviously, I'd have to watch out for Alice today. More than the usual, I mean. Her visions were too blurry, the wolves' presence unsettling their pattern, and I refused to let anything happen to her.

"Aro!" Caius roared, still struggling against the hold of the two vampires. "Let go of me, you miserly peasants! Aro, we must put an end to this! They have _dogs._"

His comrade lifted a dismissive hand. "We will allow them to speak in their defense."

Caius turned to one of the most important members of his guard instead. "Alec!" he barked. But Alec was busy, of course, Siobhan's sway on his perception distracting him from his responsibilities. He could only take away her senses, not her gift, and they seemed to be almost…testing each other. It wouldn't always work, of course, but it was a way of buying time. Then Bella would step in. Confound them further. Caius didn't know any of this, of course, but he didn't waste time shaking Alec back into reality; instead, he strode towards his twin, who was being blocked by Ethan. It was a great thing Edward had insisted that he stay with us. "Jane!" he shouted. "Do something!"

"I can't," she hissed, her frustration resonating within me. "Something's wrong."

"_Weak,_" Ethan growled, something that normally he wouldn't do. In any situation at all. It was a subtle way of saying that he'd diverted the focus of his gift, that he wasn't blocking her anymore, and now it was _my _turn to play with her flailing emotions. Jane turned to glare at him, ready to make him feel as if his insides were burning.

"Calm down, girl," I drawled sarcastically, sending her a wave of anxiety that almost had her falling to her knees. Suddenly she didn't look at all like the sadistic demon who never hesitated to play along with Aro's schemes; contrastingly, she seemed like a scared little girl who was being dragged through the crowd to be burned at the stake. Yes – Edward had told me about that, too.

Jane flew to her Master's side, her thin arms wrapping around his midsection, and in his frustration and wrathful shock Aro pushed her aside as if she were nothing but _trash_. She might as well have been… My brother had said that their bond was one-sided – she strived to be the focus of his attention at all times, while he was only interested in her power.

Taking advantage of the situation, I altered her emotional state once again. The anxiety and spine-chilling fear were sucked out of her, replaced by blind fury. She would direct it at the person closest to her, the one who'd done her wrong, who had _pushed _her as if she meant nothing to him.

Aro cried out as he fell to his knees, his face contorted in agony. The tension amidst our side dissipated upon the sight, amusement and satisfaction yanking a few chuckles out of the majority of us. I smiled despite the effort I was making.

_For they have sown the wind, and they shall reap the whirlwind. _Hosea 8:7.

Siobhan was also using her gift, in the most unexpected way. I could feel Chelsea's hope from afar, see her black eyes become alight with a new idea. Through her power, Siobhan was sending her a message, like we had planned – in Chelsea's head, she was planting the illusion that they were both standing in front of a bar, the neon lights above their heads outlining the words that we wanted to shout at her.

_Drop it. We can save you._

Jane was busy, and so was Alec, who was finding it impossible to deprive any one of us of our senses, his gift unable to get past Bella's shield. As it was, there wasn't anyone who could enforce Aro's rules on her.

The moment Chelsea dissolved the influence of her own gift was the catalyst of our victory. Immediately there was a hush, the multitude of black cloaks behind the most famous members of the Volturi guard moving like turbulent sea waters. These vampires, some of them newborns (my chief specialty), saw their own agitation rise while the desire to flee scratched at their new sense of freedom.

I allowed a wave of calm to fall gently upon Jane's brain, and Aro gasped as she stepped back, quickly standing up. Marcus was looking over his shoulder, frozen amidst the tension that had inflated exponentially just after Chelsea's answer to our request. Some of the vampires in the back had already begun to retreat, innocently hoping that they wouldn't be found. Those were newborns for sure. They had no idea what their own species was capable of.

"Marcus!" I roared. His head snapped in my direction. "It was him. He was the one who killed Didyme. Aro killed your _mate_!"

Another stick thrown into the fire that we'd started. This was also one of the bits of information that Edward had shared with me, and, hell, it was enough to put things in motion. Marcus looked murderous, the lethargy that'd sank right down to his bones after Didyme's death drained away from his simmering state of mind. Of course, I was also contributing to his rage, augmenting it to the point where he no longer cared for an explanation, though I didn't need to do much.

There were two things vampires went absolutely mad over: blood and… love. _I ought to know_, I thought with a warm feeling in my chest, Alice's sudden closeness revitalizing my mind. Her small hand tightened around my fingers, her touch a compelling force, as we watched Marcus stalk his new enemy while the latter tried in vain to manipulate him once more to save his own ass, like the goddamn coward he was.

The crowd was retreating into the woods. Running away from the Volturi, from us, from a few brainwashed vampires who had decided to stay by their capturers' side, like savage militias that no longer needed their dictator's orders to act as oppressors.

Chaos had been unleashed. It was time for us to step in.

Taking a deep breath I prepared to make our troops advance, ready to put an end to the Volturi for once and for all. My voice rang out through the clearing like a thunderclap:

"Soldiers! _Charge_!"

«-»

JPOV

"Okay, son, I know it's hard, but you need to push, alright?"

Carlisle's voice was overridden by my imprint's harsh breathing. After what'd seemed like a whole fucking decade to me, during which the Doc appeared to take his time checking _whatever _– he'd actually slipped his fingers into Edward's… entrance, which kind of made me feel rather embarrassed, while Edward just went on panting and groaning, which probably meant he didn't really give a rat's ass that I'd touched him there to bring him pleasure –, he'd finally announced that he was ready to _push little Thomas into the world._

What a horrible combination of words. Just the memory of it made me wince at how excruciating that actually sounded. For everyone.

"Ugh, Jake!" Edward cried, with actual tears sliding down his cheeks, mingling with the sweat that'd gathered in a thin layer over his skin. His hand was gripping mine so hard I could feel my bones shifting painfully under my flesh. Still, I gulped down any complaints and laid my free hand over the top of his head.

"It's okay, baby. You can do this."

"It _hurts_!" he gasped, his face contorted in pain, and helplessness flooded me. As if the good dose of anxiety that'd been injected into my veins when Carlisle told my boyfriend to _push – _this word would haunt me for the rest of my life – was not enough. "Oh, God, Jake!" Edward grabbed a fistful of the hospital gown, his back lifting off the stirrup bed. "Oh, shit!"

"Come on, Edward," Rosalie grumbled, in what I assumed to be an impatient attempt to spur him on. I glowered at her, wishing the ground could open up beneath her feet. Edward needed our support right now, and her edginess just _stank. _It fucking stank.

God, I was so nervous. And my stomach was rolling around like dirty laundry in a washing machine. I was about to pray to all the deities out there to get it to settle down so that I wouldn't throw up in the middle of _my son's freaking birth_ when Carlisle's voice called me back to reality.

"Son, I need you to take a deep breath," he said, raising his head to meet Edward's eyes.

"Sweetheart…" I gulped down my nausea. "Carlisle wants you to take a deep breath."

"Yes, I fucking heard!" he shouted, and I thought that if he squeezed my hand any harder he'd break my bones, but of course that was also my anxiety speaking, because he wasn't strong enough to do that. But he _was _strong enough to get through this, that I knew, and his loud inhale was proof of that.

"Okay, Edward," Carlisle said quickly. "Now push!"

He did. And it seemed to take every ounce of strength in his body, his back lifting off the bed once more, a loud scream slipping past his gritted teeth, lasting long enough for me to want to put a stop to my imprint's suffering. His tears ran down freely now, getting caught in the sheen of sweat that covered his skin.

"Ow, Dad," he whimpered, sagging against the bed, and his chest heaved suddenly. "It hu-hurts."

"I know, Edward," Carlisle said gently. "You're doing _so _well, son. It'll be over soon, I promise. Now rest for a bit. Take some deep breaths."

I had no idea what I'd been expecting from a childbirth, but the following minutes were spent like this. Edward would grip the hell out of my hand as he cried out, his face twisted in concentration and pain, and then he'd fall back against the bed, looking as if he might pass out from exhaustion. Push, scream and rest – that was all he seemed to do. At some point his green eyes slid to the ceiling, glimmering wetly – I assumed that he was gathering the mental strength needed to go on with this, and this time I was the one who squeezed his hand, although I was a lot gentler than him.

"I can see the head," Carlisle announced, his blonde hair flashing behind the image of Edward's spread legs. "Edward–"

"Ung, _fuuuck_!" He didn't even wait for any instruction – Carlisle's words seemed to spur him on, and as he pushed again a bloodcurdling scream vibrated through my head, intersected by a whimper or two. He was gasping for air when he leaned back against the cushion beneath, his brow drenched in sweat. I wiped it away with the back of my hand, and pressed my lips against his knuckles.

"Come on, ex-leech. You're so close. I'm so proud of you." I had no idea when I'd gathered my wits exactly. It seemed that my imprint's pain and effort had made me man up in a matter of minutes.

With a deep inhale, Edward nodded, the determination in his eyes outshining the tiredness that had inevitably begun to pull down his lids and settle into his body.

He pushed. Again. This time he screamed louder than I thought was humanly possible, leaning forward once more, agony written around the grimace that stretched across his face. His fingers were damp around my trembling ones, his tears dropping down to the papery fabric of the gown, and when silence fell upon us I took a moment too long to react, unable to fully register that–

"It's over now," Rosalie whispered, brushing a strand of red hair off Edward's forehead, a gesture that completely took me by surprise. My imprint sighed, his body almost melting into the bed.

I blinked, my full awareness slowly returning to me. Carlisle had rushed towards another part of the room, Rosalie in tow, and I just couldn't _see_ what they were doing. Which was pretty damn frustrating.

But then – then a baby's wailing echoed inside my head, the sound shrill and yet… soothing. It was Thomas, I realized, and immediately my heart started to beat so fast I thought it'd tear right through my breastbone.

"Edward," I whispered, glancing down at him. The sight put a damper on my mood – he looked absolutely exhausted, his breathing slowing second by second. I bent over his slight figure and kissed his forehead softly, my nerves coiled in anticipation – I couldn't wait for Rosalie and Carlisle to bring our son back to us, and the sound of his wild screams scratched at my patience, though it also reassured me.

The kid's lungs sounded _just _fine.

My ex-leech hummed softly, snapping out of the post-partum haze. "Jake… Where is he?" he rasped, his voice scratchy from all the screaming, as his eyes searched my face. "Where's Thomas?"

"Edward." We both shifted upon the sound of Rosalie's voice, and saw her standing close to us with a blinding smile on her face. But what really drew my attention was the bundle in her arms. "He's beautiful."

And with that she allowed her brother to finally hold his son. Our son. A lump formed in my throat as I stared down at them both, at Edward's fascinated smile, the tearful shine in his green eyes, and at my kid's little foot, peeking out at me from under the blankets that he'd been wrapped in. At his tiny hand, curled around my imprint's pale thumb. My fingers dropped onto his still hairless head, and the texture of his skin was the strangest thing ever and yet – I wanted to keep on caressing him, to shower him with all I had to give. The warmth of my touch. My love. My protection. I'd do anything for him.

Because Thomas, much like my imprint, was my anchor, the reason for my current smile, and the sight of him filled me with a bunch of emotions that clogged my throat and made tears spring to my eyes. I didn't even care if I didn't seem as manly as I was supposed to. The tie that bound me and my son together was a thousand times more important than any pointless pretense.

"He's so tiny," I said as quietly as possible, careful not to wake him. Edward nodded softly.

"He's lovely," he whispered, smiling down at our baby. Love shimmered over the green depths of his beautiful eyes, and _this _was what mattered – their safety, their happiness, the fact that these things brought _me _happiness.

As long as my family was okay, _I _would be okay.

«-»

**Something to remember this Christmas Eve, guys – you all cherish your families, because, yes, they** **are pretty damn important. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and this wild ride and, oh, yes, that means just what you think it means: this story is about to end. One more chapter left before the Epilogue. Of course, to make it more dramatic, I shall thank everyone who has stuck with me despite my horrible lateness and temper tantrums and whatnot; I surely hope that my awesome sense of humor and, well, this story have compensated for all of that. I will try to update as soon as possible and not put off the end of this story just because I have this awful ache in my chest and this immense urge to weep all over my pillow.**

**Anyway, enough drama for tonight. I wish you all a Merry Christmas!**


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